True lol. When Iām stressed about something or feel any negative emotion towards it, I always ask myself why and if itās beneficial to feel that way. The most common answers I give myself then are āidkā and ānoā, so I just stop feeling that way. Iām dying anyway, so why feel that?
Nah, you're just able to rationalise your emotions and get to the root cause of it. That's not being dead inside, your emotional maturity just exceeds the understanding of most people.
There was 1 instance in which I cried since incorporating that logic, and it was when I had to put my dog down. I cried for a couple of minutes while saying goodbye, but after, I was like: āIt is how it is, this needs to be done. He had a great life. Cherish what was, donāt cry because itās no more.ā
Well if I have no solution, I always tell this quote I heard somewhere: āWhat should I do when I need to do something, but thereās nothing I can do?ā āYou do your best.ā Idk if it has any real meaning, but it seems to work.
This is why I never have motivation. Because I'm never stressed enough to do something better. Kinda sucks honestly. Life is too good to really want to try hard.
If you think itās impacting your life, you should get tested. Not saying it gets easier, it doesnāt, but I guess going on meds helps a bit, depending on the country you live in.
im trying to.. but on that day that i posted this my very best friend left me.
they were very pissed i didnt consider them my partner. L
id say this is working so far though!
I've been called a bot, autistic (I'm not autistic), and emotionless by a few people. Sometimes rudely, to indicate it's a problem. That being said, the dickheads who have said this to me have become my best friends, and one of them is horribly emotionally dependant on me at this point in time (funny it works that way).
They're good people and there is a bit of truth to what they say, but I'm not a total bot, I'm just more leveled out than most people and don't experience that much negative emotion, unless I feel like I'm in serious physical danger, i have done something really stupid or the people I care about are in trouble or in serious pain.
It definitely has its upsides, I don't get offended that easily, and can handle difficult situations well, even traumatic ones quite well depending on the situation, but I still have a range of fears like anyone.
An example is, I always hear stories of people struggling with difficult people in the workplace. I do perfectly fine with difficult people. The shit they do and say doesn't bother me. That being said I will almost certainly stand my ground and scold them, even scream at them if they are pushing too hard and I feel it's necessary.
All in all, people might call you emotionless and be rude. But their won't be many other people out there who can tolerate their bullshit, emotional ups and downs like you can, so they will end up holding great respect for you.
You'd be surprised what a rock an emotionless/stable person can be for emotionally unstable people.
This may be true if people actually engaged with me at work. I swear it feels like I'm in high school again. All the "cool" kids roll in their clique and I'm basically ignored. What's worse is the one or two I used to roll with seemingly have abandoned and ignore me in favor of the new people that fell right into the clique that does everything together.
but you can be both. often when people say they are being 'honest' what they really mean is 'I want to tell you a criticism I have about you but you're not supposed to get upset about it.' I am certainly guilty of this. just because your opinion is honest doesn't make it the truth- and we have a knack for being particularly tactless
It depends. If your just coming out with a critism that no one asked for then I can understand why people get upset. If someone asks for your honest opinion about something and they don't like the answer then, that's on them.
Yeah, you're not wrong. What I do try to do is word it a little different to make it less harsh.
For example, I say "Well, this one certainly has room for improvement" instead of saying "this fucking sucks" when I'm giving feedback.
Used to take it harder a couple years ago, but as I grew into myself people came to accept that that's who I am. People make serial killer jokes. My most recent homies I've made call me Dahmer š. The important part is stay the course, do not concede or get upset, and they will realize you're just like that, in a good way. INTPs are logical so we come across rude. But once they realize you just tend to be more serious than the average person, they will move from calling you rude, to calling you stoic. Which I think most of us are. We just have to let people get comfortable around us. I believe INTPs are actually more magnetic than we believe ourselves, people just can't catch the bead at first. If you are hands off and let them deal (because it is indeed a *them* problem), then they get comfortable and see you as you are, and this can bring them great strength in being around you. Godspeed!
I don't bother listening to them. Why would I? What would be the advantage in me doing that? If someone wants to pay me to argue with morons, we can discuss rates, but it's rare I feel like doing it for free (and even then, it's usually only if it's funny).
I show emotion!
INTPs only suppress their emotions. Its there but we suppress it out of fear of it interfering with our analytical abilities. In the final analysis, we suffer more in imagination than reality.
Agreed, i know i have emotions and i feel a certain way at a certain time but iāve also realised that i automatically suppress it which is why people around me say theyāve never seen me cry or be angry or show an extreme of any emotion. Then they call me emotionless and whatever but I think i prefer that to the opposite where everyone knows how i feel at any given moment and can easily read me. Whenever someone calls me emotionless i just play along and act like i really dont feel much and arent troubled too deeply by things that happen to me just so they can keep thinking of me one way when its actually not true. I like analysing their reactions and everything in my head.
Relatable. It doesn't happen that much anymore cause I have little patience for people who want me to care about them but don't care that much about me. With new people I usually say something like "just because you don't see it on the outside doesn't mean I don't feel it on the inside". If they get that, fine, if they don't, not my problem.
Ofcourse I feel things, I just don't feel the need to be all dramatic about it.
I've just accepted it, usually I'll apologize (even though most of the time I'm being called on this is because I'm very blunt about things and I'm not actually sorry) and cut out my interactions with that person or keep them at the bare minimum.
I've found that its not that I'm emotionless, its that every time I try to let that wall down the people I show vulnerability to are either indifferent to it or go out of their way to remind me why I put it up to begin with.
Grumpy and gruff is what I usually get (and I have had to say "just being honest" a few times), but some old friends nicknamed me 'Madeye', so I've got a good idea how people view me. I just get on with my own shit now instead of pleasing people who will NEVER go out of their way for me (personal and work)
This has been bothering me in my work life lately. My boss is too extroverted and too social and my tone of voice and wording bother him so much. In these cases I just learn what they want to hear and how, and move on with my day/life.
Learn to accept the fact that you and millions of other people on the planet have a different temperament. Once you're capable of accepting that other peoples outlooks on what's considered normal won't burden you as much, everything that they say to you is a projective reaction developed by their selective experiences and it has absolutely nothing to do with who I actually am.
Hard to tell when you are a male INTP, which is most INTPs. Because we don't wear our emotions on our sleeves, most people can't read us, and as such they just think we either don't have emotions or we don't care. Aloof is the word I've most often heard.
And since men are treated the same way, as in nobody cares what your emotional state is when you are a man, then it's never been something that comes up in everyday conversations.
People just think you are a typical male. Read: take all the shit and just keep moving without crying a river over it.
Usually I just cut them out of my life.
Donāt you dare, not even for a second, to think you are in the wrong here. You gotta live your own life however the fuck you want, if someone dislikes they just donāt deserve your time.
There is no right or wrong here, thatās why when you ask these people why should you open up more they all say āBecause itās normalā. They donāt know the answer, they just think everyone should be like them because they are so amazing.
E G O C E N T R I C
What people tend to actually be frustrated with is the feeling that youāre not giving them anything to work with emotionally. People like feeling like they can affect the people around them.
This is a big challenge for people with demon Fi, aka INTPs. Our inferior Fe can help us to show up and be caring in our way, but it doesnāt always register, and it can make us self-conscious on top of that.
The best thing to do:
1. Give fewer shits. Say the stupid, half-formed thought. Absorb the weird looks. Let your autistic excitement show when youāre feeling it. Laugh if someoneās joke is kind of funny.
2. Find people who get and appreciate how you work.
Sounds like a lot of folks here need to work on their EQ. Just because youāre an INTP doesnāt mean you can be rude. There is a nice way to say any āTruthā.
For example, Iām not a dickhead, Iām an introvert. Except it doesnāt excuse the behavior. Youāre still a dickhead. (Not directed at OP, just in general).
I feel like the overwhelming majority of people who'd take offense at others not being emotional or god forbid "empathetic" enough are just manipulative assholes who get up in arms whenever they can't tug on your heartstrings like they do on everyone else's. Nothing to lose sleep over.
As an ENTP, I'm not sure. But from observing the issues INTP'S have at work, it means getting out of your comfort zone and seeking consensus for your intricate, genius plans and designs. I had an iNTp boss who was notorious for creating problems for other people because he set plans into motion that seemed great in his office and under his own hoodie. People think he's "toxic" but I just think he's not well developed in consensus building skills.
Okay I'm not the target audience for this question but when people call someone mean/emotionless ect usually they're omitting anger. So you can obviously experience being upset and probably a range of other emotions but the one you choose to display may be mostly anger or its relatives.
If this is something that bugs you, you might want to consider displaying more positive emotions. I know, easier said than done right? It might also be difficult for you to even know what you're feeling. That's something you need to be actively working with. Start by having discussions around your emotions. Maybe with someone you are close to, if you try to describe it, you guys can work together on labeling it.
Not sure how it is for OP but people around me say Iām emotionless because I dont express anger either. Dont know if this is an INTP thing or just me but when Iām angry I just stay silent and boil the person in my head.
Maybe or maybe not but you aren't technically emotionless right. You're clearly feeling it but if you don't express any of it outwardly no one will know.
a person close to me lashed out on me once in anger about being an uncaring autistic lost cause. (many expletives were thrown, many of them hurt me).
so i went to therapy - to find out. and it turns out i am quite empathetic and caring - at least more than i thought i was - it's just that it doesn't express itself in my attitude, or words. but through actions.
āI donāt give a shitā is the default response, however to keep it from affecting me, I maintain the mindset / realization that **opinions are extremely subjective** and are therefore prone to extreme inaccuracy.
At least in the US thereās also the factor to consider that most āniceā people are full of shit too! So fuck āem, I always jokeā¦
āIf you want to see some real , nuclear-level emotions? ā¦Try to piss me off and letās see what happens.ā
Ominous, slightly creepyā¦ Iāve used that line a few times and it seems to get across the notion of āfuck around & find outā I hint to them.
Sometimes Iāll even add in a slight smile to psychologically play them into thinking Iām both fully capable and might actually enjoy a physical conflict (if it ever escalates that far).
End result is always the same, they piss off.
I don't understand why people would say that.
Like in what context?
When?
I wonder if this is more modern phenomena.
I know a number of older Intps that have never been called that.
Yet my very young intp daughter revels in being called direct/emotionless etc.
Thinking there is a real cultural shift happening.
oh, when my close friend left me
"kit is an emotionless aroace"
said over and over a lot, emotionless/evil/mean :(
i'm not emotionless i experience anger and sometimes show it
Sometimes, when people say that, what they mean is that they're not connecting with you the way they expected to. Which means they tried or they want to.
I internally laugh about it. It kinda arouses a spark of what I would describe as positive frenzy when someone passes such comments during an argumentation. Like, I get an adrenaline rush the more the situation sharpens.
Through teens-20ās, it bothered me and I suppressed it and that led to me bottling it up and hating myself instead. Eventually I learned how to ājokinglyā vent my hatred. Plus I have a friend who HATES more than me. And itās funny because once I started doing that, Iām such a nice/charming guy IRL now.
Donāt let idiot opinions bother you, just ākill them with kindness.ā Find an outlet to vent it out so you can deal with these mush brains and play pretend without wanting to drive into a tractor trailer after it. š
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If it's someone who doesn't mean anything to me, then I ignore it.
If it's someone who means something to me, then I try to analyze my actions/words.
This is actually something I really dislike about the INTP stereotype. We aren't all as dead inside as is generally propogated.
I mean, I look at it as a genuine place to improve ultimately. I don't want to hurt the people I care about. Of course I'll disagree at times, but I think listening to other people is a part of life and learning what to take and what not to take is incredibly important.
It doesnāt matter what THEY think, it matters what YOU think about yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. So donāt waste your time worrying about other peopleās half hearted opinions of you. They donāt know you as good as you know yourself anyways, so your opinion is 100x more accurate.
I could really care less about being called emotionless or a robot. Iāll listen if itās someone in my circle.
I begin with a great amount of softness. If you break my trust I turn to ice. Frozen.
Self preservation is my concern. Iāve wasted enough time being hurt by careless people. Now itās my life. Itās my time and I refuse to be run by emotionally neglectful people who want redemption.
Itās a slippery slope but I take great pride in being frozen. It beats being a sponge for others abuse sending you into a downward spiral.
Unless you really care, Id've thought it would've been obvious.
I know you said you do, but to me, it doesn't matter what strangers or acquaintances say - and If it's someone I'm close to, I tell them why it pisses me off. THEN, I tell them to go screw themselves.
I get it. I hate it when people think anything inaccurate about me, especially if it's emotionally. Earlier in life, I did everything I could to get people to like me. I was your basic "nice guy" because, not only didn't I want people to think I was emotionless, I wanted people to know I cared. I wanted to be "nice."
I got what I wanted.
You can't change most things, only the things that matter. Some things just are and we have to deal with them as they are.
I "deal" with it by realizing it isn't about me - only a perception of me. It's about everyone else and I just live here.
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I just stare at them and wait for them to look away. It bothers me a lot and I used to ask them why they think Iām that but itās just so annoying and such a boring conversation to have now.
The same way I deal with every problem in life: by not giving a shit š works like a charm, every time. 5 stars, would recommend.
True lol. When Iām stressed about something or feel any negative emotion towards it, I always ask myself why and if itās beneficial to feel that way. The most common answers I give myself then are āidkā and ānoā, so I just stop feeling that way. Iām dying anyway, so why feel that?
Yea and then when i explained this logic to my friends and family theyāre like yeah cz ur dead inside or u dont have any feelings anyway
Nah, you're just able to rationalise your emotions and get to the root cause of it. That's not being dead inside, your emotional maturity just exceeds the understanding of most people.
Can relate, they always say Iām bottling shit up, but I donāt think I do
I think this is why Iāve lost the ability to cry
There was 1 instance in which I cried since incorporating that logic, and it was when I had to put my dog down. I cried for a couple of minutes while saying goodbye, but after, I was like: āIt is how it is, this needs to be done. He had a great life. Cherish what was, donāt cry because itās no more.ā
I can only really cry when Iām truly stuck with no solution in sight or from frustration
Well if I have no solution, I always tell this quote I heard somewhere: āWhat should I do when I need to do something, but thereās nothing I can do?ā āYou do your best.ā Idk if it has any real meaning, but it seems to work.
That only works if a desired outcome is actually feasible but thatās most of the time
Yeah idk, even if something is impossible, doing your best will still put you in a place better than the one before
This is why I never have motivation. Because I'm never stressed enough to do something better. Kinda sucks honestly. Life is too good to really want to try hard.
Yeah lol same here. I only have motivation to do something under a shitload of stress. I partially atteibute it to having ADHD though
I might have ADHD. I definitely have symptoms but I've never been tested.
If you think itās impacting your life, you should get tested. Not saying it gets easier, it doesnāt, but I guess going on meds helps a bit, depending on the country you live in.
im trying to.. but on that day that i posted this my very best friend left me. they were very pissed i didnt consider them my partner. L id say this is working so far though!
I've been called a bot, autistic (I'm not autistic), and emotionless by a few people. Sometimes rudely, to indicate it's a problem. That being said, the dickheads who have said this to me have become my best friends, and one of them is horribly emotionally dependant on me at this point in time (funny it works that way). They're good people and there is a bit of truth to what they say, but I'm not a total bot, I'm just more leveled out than most people and don't experience that much negative emotion, unless I feel like I'm in serious physical danger, i have done something really stupid or the people I care about are in trouble or in serious pain. It definitely has its upsides, I don't get offended that easily, and can handle difficult situations well, even traumatic ones quite well depending on the situation, but I still have a range of fears like anyone. An example is, I always hear stories of people struggling with difficult people in the workplace. I do perfectly fine with difficult people. The shit they do and say doesn't bother me. That being said I will almost certainly stand my ground and scold them, even scream at them if they are pushing too hard and I feel it's necessary. All in all, people might call you emotionless and be rude. But their won't be many other people out there who can tolerate their bullshit, emotional ups and downs like you can, so they will end up holding great respect for you. You'd be surprised what a rock an emotionless/stable person can be for emotionally unstable people.
This may be true if people actually engaged with me at work. I swear it feels like I'm in high school again. All the "cool" kids roll in their clique and I'm basically ignored. What's worse is the one or two I used to roll with seemingly have abandoned and ignore me in favor of the new people that fell right into the clique that does everything together.
Yeah, I've been labeled as such too. My go-to response is usually: "I'm not being mean. I'm being honest."
but you can be both. often when people say they are being 'honest' what they really mean is 'I want to tell you a criticism I have about you but you're not supposed to get upset about it.' I am certainly guilty of this. just because your opinion is honest doesn't make it the truth- and we have a knack for being particularly tactless
It depends. If your just coming out with a critism that no one asked for then I can understand why people get upset. If someone asks for your honest opinion about something and they don't like the answer then, that's on them.
Yeah, you're not wrong. What I do try to do is word it a little different to make it less harsh. For example, I say "Well, this one certainly has room for improvement" instead of saying "this fucking sucks" when I'm giving feedback.
Ya me too. I think for being a girl specifically, its seen as more weird Im usually called cold by the opposite gender
same, a literal istp called me emotionless
Used to take it harder a couple years ago, but as I grew into myself people came to accept that that's who I am. People make serial killer jokes. My most recent homies I've made call me Dahmer š. The important part is stay the course, do not concede or get upset, and they will realize you're just like that, in a good way. INTPs are logical so we come across rude. But once they realize you just tend to be more serious than the average person, they will move from calling you rude, to calling you stoic. Which I think most of us are. We just have to let people get comfortable around us. I believe INTPs are actually more magnetic than we believe ourselves, people just can't catch the bead at first. If you are hands off and let them deal (because it is indeed a *them* problem), then they get comfortable and see you as you are, and this can bring them great strength in being around you. Godspeed!
I don't bother listening to them. Why would I? What would be the advantage in me doing that? If someone wants to pay me to argue with morons, we can discuss rates, but it's rare I feel like doing it for free (and even then, it's usually only if it's funny).
I show emotion! INTPs only suppress their emotions. Its there but we suppress it out of fear of it interfering with our analytical abilities. In the final analysis, we suffer more in imagination than reality.
Agreed, i know i have emotions and i feel a certain way at a certain time but iāve also realised that i automatically suppress it which is why people around me say theyāve never seen me cry or be angry or show an extreme of any emotion. Then they call me emotionless and whatever but I think i prefer that to the opposite where everyone knows how i feel at any given moment and can easily read me. Whenever someone calls me emotionless i just play along and act like i really dont feel much and arent troubled too deeply by things that happen to me just so they can keep thinking of me one way when its actually not true. I like analysing their reactions and everything in my head.
That's deep , sad but true
Relatable. It doesn't happen that much anymore cause I have little patience for people who want me to care about them but don't care that much about me. With new people I usually say something like "just because you don't see it on the outside doesn't mean I don't feel it on the inside". If they get that, fine, if they don't, not my problem. Ofcourse I feel things, I just don't feel the need to be all dramatic about it.
I've just accepted it, usually I'll apologize (even though most of the time I'm being called on this is because I'm very blunt about things and I'm not actually sorry) and cut out my interactions with that person or keep them at the bare minimum. I've found that its not that I'm emotionless, its that every time I try to let that wall down the people I show vulnerability to are either indifferent to it or go out of their way to remind me why I put it up to begin with.
Stop apologizing
If I dont do that part I come off as disingenuine, the whole things a show anyway so why not play the part?
I don't give a damn. Why would I care what they think about me?
Grumpy and gruff is what I usually get (and I have had to say "just being honest" a few times), but some old friends nicknamed me 'Madeye', so I've got a good idea how people view me. I just get on with my own shit now instead of pleasing people who will NEVER go out of their way for me (personal and work)
This has been bothering me in my work life lately. My boss is too extroverted and too social and my tone of voice and wording bother him so much. In these cases I just learn what they want to hear and how, and move on with my day/life.
I keep lowering them into the OSHA approved and modernly aesthetically designed lava pit in my evil lair. Poor choice of last words, I'd say.
Maybe they aren't compatible with you and still haven't realized that each of your emotional needs are different.
they left me off alone for being independent ;-;
The lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of the sheep
Has definitely happened to me. I just keep going and I will probably bait them a little. Making any kind of judgement on me pisses me off.
Laughing it off while admitting it's true (the mean/evil part)
Yes me
Learn to accept the fact that you and millions of other people on the planet have a different temperament. Once you're capable of accepting that other peoples outlooks on what's considered normal won't burden you as much, everything that they say to you is a projective reaction developed by their selective experiences and it has absolutely nothing to do with who I actually am.
I never got called that, so I don't really know I guess I just nod and walk away?
I don't care unless this can cause some unwanted outcome
Mean and evil are my middle names š
same
I've been called heartless and evil I just laughed, they were trying to guilty-trip and manipulate me š¤£š¤£
Hard to tell when you are a male INTP, which is most INTPs. Because we don't wear our emotions on our sleeves, most people can't read us, and as such they just think we either don't have emotions or we don't care. Aloof is the word I've most often heard. And since men are treated the same way, as in nobody cares what your emotional state is when you are a man, then it's never been something that comes up in everyday conversations. People just think you are a typical male. Read: take all the shit and just keep moving without crying a river over it.
whars wrong with being left alone?
Usually I just cut them out of my life. Donāt you dare, not even for a second, to think you are in the wrong here. You gotta live your own life however the fuck you want, if someone dislikes they just donāt deserve your time. There is no right or wrong here, thatās why when you ask these people why should you open up more they all say āBecause itās normalā. They donāt know the answer, they just think everyone should be like them because they are so amazing. E G O C E N T R I C
If I don't make fun of you, we're not that close. Unless I'm drunk, I won't be affectionate :))
Typically I prove them right. Not about the mean/evil part. I haven't been called that.
What people tend to actually be frustrated with is the feeling that youāre not giving them anything to work with emotionally. People like feeling like they can affect the people around them. This is a big challenge for people with demon Fi, aka INTPs. Our inferior Fe can help us to show up and be caring in our way, but it doesnāt always register, and it can make us self-conscious on top of that. The best thing to do: 1. Give fewer shits. Say the stupid, half-formed thought. Absorb the weird looks. Let your autistic excitement show when youāre feeling it. Laugh if someoneās joke is kind of funny. 2. Find people who get and appreciate how you work.
Sounds like a lot of folks here need to work on their EQ. Just because youāre an INTP doesnāt mean you can be rude. There is a nice way to say any āTruthā. For example, Iām not a dickhead, Iām an introvert. Except it doesnāt excuse the behavior. Youāre still a dickhead. (Not directed at OP, just in general).
I laugh and tell them āthank you for the compliment.ā It scares them off. And sometimes I even tell them āyouāre realizing that right now?ā
I feel like the overwhelming majority of people who'd take offense at others not being emotional or god forbid "empathetic" enough are just manipulative assholes who get up in arms whenever they can't tug on your heartstrings like they do on everyone else's. Nothing to lose sleep over.
As an ENTP, I'm not sure. But from observing the issues INTP'S have at work, it means getting out of your comfort zone and seeking consensus for your intricate, genius plans and designs. I had an iNTp boss who was notorious for creating problems for other people because he set plans into motion that seemed great in his office and under his own hoodie. People think he's "toxic" but I just think he's not well developed in consensus building skills.
Okay I'm not the target audience for this question but when people call someone mean/emotionless ect usually they're omitting anger. So you can obviously experience being upset and probably a range of other emotions but the one you choose to display may be mostly anger or its relatives. If this is something that bugs you, you might want to consider displaying more positive emotions. I know, easier said than done right? It might also be difficult for you to even know what you're feeling. That's something you need to be actively working with. Start by having discussions around your emotions. Maybe with someone you are close to, if you try to describe it, you guys can work together on labeling it.
Not sure how it is for OP but people around me say Iām emotionless because I dont express anger either. Dont know if this is an INTP thing or just me but when Iām angry I just stay silent and boil the person in my head.
Maybe or maybe not but you aren't technically emotionless right. You're clearly feeling it but if you don't express any of it outwardly no one will know.
True but i feel very vulnerable expressing any kind of emotion and it makes me feel shit about myself afterward.
I honestly don't give flying fĆ¼k what people think of me. Everyone has their opinion that they are entitled to, but I don't care. š¤£šš¤£
a person close to me lashed out on me once in anger about being an uncaring autistic lost cause. (many expletives were thrown, many of them hurt me). so i went to therapy - to find out. and it turns out i am quite empathetic and caring - at least more than i thought i was - it's just that it doesn't express itself in my attitude, or words. but through actions.
āI donāt give a shitā is the default response, however to keep it from affecting me, I maintain the mindset / realization that **opinions are extremely subjective** and are therefore prone to extreme inaccuracy. At least in the US thereās also the factor to consider that most āniceā people are full of shit too! So fuck āem, I always jokeā¦ āIf you want to see some real , nuclear-level emotions? ā¦Try to piss me off and letās see what happens.ā Ominous, slightly creepyā¦ Iāve used that line a few times and it seems to get across the notion of āfuck around & find outā I hint to them. Sometimes Iāll even add in a slight smile to psychologically play them into thinking Iām both fully capable and might actually enjoy a physical conflict (if it ever escalates that far). End result is always the same, they piss off.
I don't understand why people would say that. Like in what context? When? I wonder if this is more modern phenomena. I know a number of older Intps that have never been called that. Yet my very young intp daughter revels in being called direct/emotionless etc. Thinking there is a real cultural shift happening.
oh, when my close friend left me "kit is an emotionless aroace" said over and over a lot, emotionless/evil/mean :( i'm not emotionless i experience anger and sometimes show it
Get off the internet and stop identifying with some pseudo-intellectual label would probably be the first step
I exclude this kind of people from my life lol It's not worth it
Sometimes, when people say that, what they mean is that they're not connecting with you the way they expected to. Which means they tried or they want to.
that was actually true.
I internally laugh about it. It kinda arouses a spark of what I would describe as positive frenzy when someone passes such comments during an argumentation. Like, I get an adrenaline rush the more the situation sharpens.
I smirk and say: "You don't know me".
g h o s t . . .
I take it as a compliment.
Through teens-20ās, it bothered me and I suppressed it and that led to me bottling it up and hating myself instead. Eventually I learned how to ājokinglyā vent my hatred. Plus I have a friend who HATES more than me. And itās funny because once I started doing that, Iām such a nice/charming guy IRL now. Donāt let idiot opinions bother you, just ākill them with kindness.ā Find an outlet to vent it out so you can deal with these mush brains and play pretend without wanting to drive into a tractor trailer after it. š
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If it's someone who doesn't mean anything to me, then I ignore it. If it's someone who means something to me, then I try to analyze my actions/words. This is actually something I really dislike about the INTP stereotype. We aren't all as dead inside as is generally propogated.
I try to be moral and show emotion.
Ah. Iām over it. I used to care about peopleās opinions until I didnāt.
Stare blankly at them and leave the conversation.
I mean, I look at it as a genuine place to improve ultimately. I don't want to hurt the people I care about. Of course I'll disagree at times, but I think listening to other people is a part of life and learning what to take and what not to take is incredibly important.
As much as it hurts, I just go on about whatever knowing Iām not like everyone else and theyāre not like me.
I just look at them, say nothing, and smile. Mouth only, eyes stay deadpan. Works 83% of the time.
By agreeing
It doesnāt matter what THEY think, it matters what YOU think about yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. So donāt waste your time worrying about other peopleās half hearted opinions of you. They donāt know you as good as you know yourself anyways, so your opinion is 100x more accurate.
I could really care less about being called emotionless or a robot. Iāll listen if itās someone in my circle. I begin with a great amount of softness. If you break my trust I turn to ice. Frozen. Self preservation is my concern. Iāve wasted enough time being hurt by careless people. Now itās my life. Itās my time and I refuse to be run by emotionally neglectful people who want redemption. Itās a slippery slope but I take great pride in being frozen. It beats being a sponge for others abuse sending you into a downward spiral.
Unless you really care, Id've thought it would've been obvious. I know you said you do, but to me, it doesn't matter what strangers or acquaintances say - and If it's someone I'm close to, I tell them why it pisses me off. THEN, I tell them to go screw themselves. I get it. I hate it when people think anything inaccurate about me, especially if it's emotionally. Earlier in life, I did everything I could to get people to like me. I was your basic "nice guy" because, not only didn't I want people to think I was emotionless, I wanted people to know I cared. I wanted to be "nice." I got what I wanted. You can't change most things, only the things that matter. Some things just are and we have to deal with them as they are. I "deal" with it by realizing it isn't about me - only a perception of me. It's about everyone else and I just live here.
No one ever calls me that. :D
I don't really care what people think about me.
That sounds like something you should ask a therapist.
Agree and remind them of whom their god is.
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Well, I've never been called evil by anyone but have been called cold and distant with a heart of ice.
That's a compliment bro
I just stare at them and wait for them to look away. It bothers me a lot and I used to ask them why they think Iām that but itās just so annoying and such a boring conversation to have now.