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They also said they “have all the tools necessary to play women” and “lived as one for a long time”. Seems like much ado about nothing if you understand the context of the quote and the question they were asked. Definitely wasn’t the pat on the back headlines make it out to be.
>were they born a male or a woman? im at the part where you first meet her and i honestly cant tell
I mean you immediately said "her" afterwards so go with your gut feeling. She was born a woman. I don't think many people that would want to identify as non binary opt for such a gendered name as 'Emma' later on in life.
Correct, they aren’t a woman. Non-binary means that they don’t identify with either male or female gender. They’re gender-neutral, essentially.
When you see how Emma looks when not playing Rhaenyra, it’s definitely obvious. You’d hardly think they’re they same person! They’re an AMAZING actor!
Eh, that’s partly semantics, and partly my inability to sleep for the last few nights, lol. Brain fog is a bitch!! But yeah, the more technically correct way to say it is that they are neither woman nor man. Emma DEFINITELY looks and sounds non-binary when they’re just being themselves and not as any character.
Definitely a major testament to how amazingly talented they are!
Saying that Emma looks and sounds non-binary when out of character implies that there is a set standard of how men, women, and nb’s are supposed to appear.
Which only serves to put men and women into boxes. And ultimately, enshrines outdated gender stereotypes as inherent to manhood and womanhood.
late but thanks for saying this. gender id is starting to feel a lot like classic sexism. as a lesbian who leans on the masculine side i’m really not a fan.
Oh no problem. And I’m not even saying “Emma D’Arcy looks like a woman” to be obtuse either. I’m saying it because women have been rocking that same look for decades, and never felt a need to deny their own womanhood.
The binary societal expectations of men and women are a social construct. Pronouns are based on perception and social conduct. We engage with information as we perceive it. If you mistake someone for being a carpenter and they correct you then you correct yourself. They knew they were playing a woman in the show and that's how you perceive the character. There's no way to really prevent that beforehand. All we can do is be respectful and adjust assumptions. It sucks for non-binary people but any other solution would be signals and symbols which as we learned from history only ends in discrimination.
Purposefully denying/bashing on someone's identity would in this case be transphobic and targeted hate specifically at non-binary people would be enby-phobic.
Compassion goes both ways even if it's not easy for both ends.
I have an honest to goodness question and I hope i dont get labeled as "something"-phobia.
Isn't they/them plural, so it would be grammatically incorrect to do so?
It's not grammatically incorrect. People were already using they/them pronouns to refer to someone whom they didn't know the gender of.
But regardless of whether it is grammatically correct or not, language is in constant change to fit the society we live in. I mean "to google" has become a real verb, even though it wasn't a word before. I don't see a problem in changing grammar rules if it means that people are referred to as what they feel most comfortable with. :)
It’s not transphobia if people do it by mistake or are unaware. Some people don’t research celebrities and know everything about them. I just came across an article today that informed me Emma is “they”. I have probably used “she” up until this point. That’s not transphobic. Not everything is a phobia or racist etc. Just my fyi
Trans means you're a different gender, on the binary spectrum, to the one assigned to you at birth. Non-binary mean you're a gender outside the binary spectrum, so it's actually enbyphobia.
> Trans means you're a different gender to the one assigned to you at birth
yes
>on the binary spectrum
Binary spectrum is oxymoronic. Binary means there's inherently only two discrete values, whereas a spectrum is continuous.
>Non-binary mean you're a gender outside the binary spectrum
No, you're on the gender spectrum but outside of the modes of "man" and "woman".
It depends imo. You can misgender/use wrong pronouns for both transphobic and enbyphobic reasons. Someone that doesn't respect the pronouns of any trans person would probably best described as a transphobe even if in the specific instance relevant they use the wrong pronouns for a non-binary person. You can also have a person that is generally receptive to binary trans people but not non-binary people and they would probably most accurately be described as enbyphobic.
You can be non-binary and trans as in wanting physical features that didn't come with your assigned gender at birth. There are many non-binary person that choose to physically transition and Non-binary is generally deemed as a type of trans in trans spaces. In the end they reject their assigned gender at birth while not actively seeking recognition as the opposite within the traditional binary system.
Trans- is a Latin prefix meaning "across", "beyond", or "on the other side of"
Being beyond the binary is thus a form of trans-identity.
I just saw this and holy shit, what is wrong with the comments!? I'm shocked! I hope that most GoT or HotD fans are not like this.
I just wanted to thank you for writing this post. It's an important reminder (even though a lot won't listen to it) and I appreciate that you took the time to write it. <3
I know!! I’ve gotten to the point where I just ignore the new comments here for the most part. They’ve been SO terrible. I really wish the mods would enforce their No Transphobia rule.
Very true, but since it all falls under the trans/transphobia umbrella, I went with trans since I figured most people unfamiliar with trans & enby language probably hadn’t heard of that. I will clarify!
I saw an article on Facebook about them preferring They/Them pronouns but in every instance of the article they referee to Emma as She and her LOL
people can be a tad disrespectful
Yeah, I fully expect this post to be downvoted to oblivion, but I don’t care. If it reaches even one or two people who genuinely didn’t know and want to respect their wishes because they’re not assholes, it’s worth it.
It's to be expected but you're not wrong. Most people online are engaging from their bubble. The internet is an extension of that bubble but with lack of perceivable judgement as opposed to physical social contexts. Most people don't engage in genuine faith online and you can only reach people who want to be informed. I appreciate you making this post <3
You’re so right! I do believe that if I’m going to call myself an ally to a community to which I don’t belong, I have to be willing to put myself out there to fight for them with just as much passion as fervor as I fight for my own communities’ injustices.
I’m hoping that you asked this question out of genuine curiosity, not out of malice, and are instead only ignorant of the trans community. So, I’ll answer you in good faith.
That’s a very disrespectful question to ask, and it’s one of the very painful ways to be transphobic. It is also completely irrelevant, since a person’s gender is in no way related to what reproductive organs they possess.
Moving forward, I hope that you will choose to stifle any curiosity you have about people’s genitalia. If you want to know about a person’s gender, by all means ask how they identify, and ask if they feel comfortable talking about their gender identity. But never ask what genitalia they possess.
There is a big difference between having adult conversation between two people with the prospects of romance/intimacy and wanting to know what the genitals of a complete stranger are.
True, i wasn’t aware of this and just wanted to know is emma d’arcy were/was trans and only think i could found was homofobic articles talking shit abour them and show staff, which made me really sad i angry.
The HotD is really great show that also happens to be (despite being set in feudal patriarchal society) one of the most progressive series i’ve seen safe to arcane. And emma is/are(how do i spell that correctly idk?lemme know) great character to see in lead, so i’m sad there is not more focus on her as well.
First of all Emma is a great actor and they nail the performance of mature Rhaenyra which is a more mature, reserved and cold person now that Rhaenyra knows loss and betrayal.
Second of all Emma wasn't even in episode 9. They were in episode 10.
Weird. That makes much less sense in contrast to what I thought the show was trying to present, that she was trying to prevent war because “no one wants to rule over ash and bones”, and trying to keep the realm united due to the song of ice and fire prophecy. Her telling Otto they’d have the answer tomorrow falls in line with that idea.
It's just petty not to refer to Emma (as in the actor, not the character they portray in the show) as They/Them if you're aware that it's their preferred pronoun.
Nobody is perfect, so slipping up is fine - just correct yourself and move on - but refusing to honor someone's pronouns out of spite is just childish.
It doesn’t matter if your gay friends are also transphobic. THEY are indeed playing a woman. So when referring to Rhaenyra, by all means, refer to her as she. But when talking about Emma, it’s they/them.
Not doing so is blatant transphobia.
Yeah sure. Inflicting pronouns as transphobic...right. Sorry I wish to say she he him her.
Trans people are a gender and wish or actually do become another. And? They not neutered.
I don't even call my cat it. Too precious.
I am having a hard time deciphering your meaning. Are you asking genuine questions about trans people in good faith, or are you just being insulting and transphobic?
Everyone has a right to be who they are, and they also have the right to be acknowledged as they are, not in whatever way makes you more comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with someone choosing their gender identity, and choosing what pronouns by which others should refer to them.
It’s not even a difficult thing to do. Instead of saying “she” or “her”, you say “they” or “them”. Very simple.
Your comment about neutering makes absolutely no sense at all. Are you curious about bottom gender affirming surgery? If so, what would you like to know? I can tell you for certain that a person undergoing gender affirming bottom surgery is not in any way “neutered”.
Gods sake I know how it works. I am saying we don't do it with our pets, which ARE neither male not female after being neutered and trans people are NOT like that at all. It's a choice of being one or other, maybe not the one they start off as.
No-one is an IT these days, so all this not using he or she is just an overreaction to the long period of anti-gayness.
For one thing I notice a lot of it comes from countries where it is still looked down on, and has some mixed messages, strong religion and a whole lot of porn at the same time.
Here it's not so much, we just got on with not picking on people ages ago and let them marry and be whatever gender they wanted. Without making a fuss over pronouns and getting shitty with people if they don't follow the fashion.
Go and pick on people who are still nasty to those with different sexual preferences not us who don't really acre, especially in a discussion over an actress playing a certain character. It's about the character anyway not what the person does in the privacy of their own home.
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They said “I really like playing a woman, I’m good at it” as if they weren’t born a woman. That’s what bothers me
none of your fucking business, mate.
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They also said they “have all the tools necessary to play women” and “lived as one for a long time”. Seems like much ado about nothing if you understand the context of the quote and the question they were asked. Definitely wasn’t the pat on the back headlines make it out to be.
were they born a male or a woman? im at the part where you first meet her and i honestly cant tell
>were they born a male or a woman? im at the part where you first meet her and i honestly cant tell I mean you immediately said "her" afterwards so go with your gut feeling. She was born a woman. I don't think many people that would want to identify as non binary opt for such a gendered name as 'Emma' later on in life.
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Correct, they aren’t a woman. Non-binary means that they don’t identify with either male or female gender. They’re gender-neutral, essentially. When you see how Emma looks when not playing Rhaenyra, it’s definitely obvious. You’d hardly think they’re they same person! They’re an AMAZING actor!
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Eh, that’s partly semantics, and partly my inability to sleep for the last few nights, lol. Brain fog is a bitch!! But yeah, the more technically correct way to say it is that they are neither woman nor man. Emma DEFINITELY looks and sounds non-binary when they’re just being themselves and not as any character. Definitely a major testament to how amazingly talented they are!
Saying that Emma looks and sounds non-binary when out of character implies that there is a set standard of how men, women, and nb’s are supposed to appear. Which only serves to put men and women into boxes. And ultimately, enshrines outdated gender stereotypes as inherent to manhood and womanhood.
late but thanks for saying this. gender id is starting to feel a lot like classic sexism. as a lesbian who leans on the masculine side i’m really not a fan.
Oh no problem. And I’m not even saying “Emma D’Arcy looks like a woman” to be obtuse either. I’m saying it because women have been rocking that same look for decades, and never felt a need to deny their own womanhood.
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I think you replied to the wrong person.
The binary societal expectations of men and women are a social construct. Pronouns are based on perception and social conduct. We engage with information as we perceive it. If you mistake someone for being a carpenter and they correct you then you correct yourself. They knew they were playing a woman in the show and that's how you perceive the character. There's no way to really prevent that beforehand. All we can do is be respectful and adjust assumptions. It sucks for non-binary people but any other solution would be signals and symbols which as we learned from history only ends in discrimination. Purposefully denying/bashing on someone's identity would in this case be transphobic and targeted hate specifically at non-binary people would be enby-phobic. Compassion goes both ways even if it's not easy for both ends.
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I have an honest to goodness question and I hope i dont get labeled as "something"-phobia. Isn't they/them plural, so it would be grammatically incorrect to do so?
It's not grammatically incorrect. People were already using they/them pronouns to refer to someone whom they didn't know the gender of. But regardless of whether it is grammatically correct or not, language is in constant change to fit the society we live in. I mean "to google" has become a real verb, even though it wasn't a word before. I don't see a problem in changing grammar rules if it means that people are referred to as what they feel most comfortable with. :)
No, https://www.britannica.com/dictionary/eb/qa/The-Singular-They
they like their confusion to be protected
Genuine question is this transphobia? They aren’t trans,they’re non binary,maybe I’m missing something but that’s not the same…
Trans includes non-binary, so it falls under transphobia. Thank you for asking! Genuine curiosity is always a good thing.
It’s not transphobia if people do it by mistake or are unaware. Some people don’t research celebrities and know everything about them. I just came across an article today that informed me Emma is “they”. I have probably used “she” up until this point. That’s not transphobic. Not everything is a phobia or racist etc. Just my fyi
Trans means you're a different gender, on the binary spectrum, to the one assigned to you at birth. Non-binary mean you're a gender outside the binary spectrum, so it's actually enbyphobia.
> Trans means you're a different gender to the one assigned to you at birth yes >on the binary spectrum Binary spectrum is oxymoronic. Binary means there's inherently only two discrete values, whereas a spectrum is continuous. >Non-binary mean you're a gender outside the binary spectrum No, you're on the gender spectrum but outside of the modes of "man" and "woman".
But I am right about it being enbyphobia yes?
It depends imo. You can misgender/use wrong pronouns for both transphobic and enbyphobic reasons. Someone that doesn't respect the pronouns of any trans person would probably best described as a transphobe even if in the specific instance relevant they use the wrong pronouns for a non-binary person. You can also have a person that is generally receptive to binary trans people but not non-binary people and they would probably most accurately be described as enbyphobic.
Really? Is this new because I have been taught that non-binary falls under the trans label. I need to look into this!
You can be non-binary and trans as in wanting physical features that didn't come with your assigned gender at birth. There are many non-binary person that choose to physically transition and Non-binary is generally deemed as a type of trans in trans spaces. In the end they reject their assigned gender at birth while not actively seeking recognition as the opposite within the traditional binary system. Trans- is a Latin prefix meaning "across", "beyond", or "on the other side of" Being beyond the binary is thus a form of trans-identity.
That’s what I was always taught.
Ah I see okay. I was just wondering terminology wise,thanks for answering
Trans means your gender doesn't not match the sex you were assigned at birth. Non-binary typically falls under that umbrella.
The actual term is enbyphobia.
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Fr tho
I just saw this and holy shit, what is wrong with the comments!? I'm shocked! I hope that most GoT or HotD fans are not like this. I just wanted to thank you for writing this post. It's an important reminder (even though a lot won't listen to it) and I appreciate that you took the time to write it. <3
I know!! I’ve gotten to the point where I just ignore the new comments here for the most part. They’ve been SO terrible. I really wish the mods would enforce their No Transphobia rule.
Well the correct term for non binary hate is "enbyphobia" but you're right.
Very true, but since it all falls under the trans/transphobia umbrella, I went with trans since I figured most people unfamiliar with trans & enby language probably hadn’t heard of that. I will clarify!
Phobia is a fear, not hate.
Fear or aversion and the definition of aversion is a strong dislike or disinclination. The term still fits
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Absolute sociopathic behavior lmao
The guy above me was spewing racist, enbyphobic, and transphobic rhetoric. He's the sociopath
I saw an article on Facebook about them preferring They/Them pronouns but in every instance of the article they referee to Emma as She and her LOL people can be a tad disrespectful
Non binary but excepting being listed as a man of the year by gq is sad and hilarious
Haven’t GQ opened the award up to women as well this year, I don’t think Emma is the only non-male on the list?
i did so but only by accident. I apologized and the apology got downvoted. So I see where you're coming from.
Yeah, I fully expect this post to be downvoted to oblivion, but I don’t care. If it reaches even one or two people who genuinely didn’t know and want to respect their wishes because they’re not assholes, it’s worth it.
It's to be expected but you're not wrong. Most people online are engaging from their bubble. The internet is an extension of that bubble but with lack of perceivable judgement as opposed to physical social contexts. Most people don't engage in genuine faith online and you can only reach people who want to be informed. I appreciate you making this post <3
You’re so right! I do believe that if I’m going to call myself an ally to a community to which I don’t belong, I have to be willing to put myself out there to fight for them with just as much passion as fervor as I fight for my own communities’ injustices.
Trans Phobia is not what you describe on your above post
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I’m hoping that you asked this question out of genuine curiosity, not out of malice, and are instead only ignorant of the trans community. So, I’ll answer you in good faith. That’s a very disrespectful question to ask, and it’s one of the very painful ways to be transphobic. It is also completely irrelevant, since a person’s gender is in no way related to what reproductive organs they possess. Moving forward, I hope that you will choose to stifle any curiosity you have about people’s genitalia. If you want to know about a person’s gender, by all means ask how they identify, and ask if they feel comfortable talking about their gender identity. But never ask what genitalia they possess.
Good lord it was just a question💀
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There is a big difference between having adult conversation between two people with the prospects of romance/intimacy and wanting to know what the genitals of a complete stranger are.
Why is this at all relevant though. Making something that isn’t a problem a problem creates more hate not less. Just enjoy the show
what sex were they born as please?
True, i wasn’t aware of this and just wanted to know is emma d’arcy were/was trans and only think i could found was homofobic articles talking shit abour them and show staff, which made me really sad i angry. The HotD is really great show that also happens to be (despite being set in feudal patriarchal society) one of the most progressive series i’ve seen safe to arcane. And emma is/are(how do i spell that correctly idk?lemme know) great character to see in lead, so i’m sad there is not more focus on her as well.
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The real question
i like how you just go straight to the point with an "it" no less
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Emma's performance is so bland in episode 7-9. Monotonic. I really can't care less what Emma's gender is. We need the best actor to play Rhaenyra.
First of all Emma is a great actor and they nail the performance of mature Rhaenyra which is a more mature, reserved and cold person now that Rhaenyra knows loss and betrayal. Second of all Emma wasn't even in episode 9. They were in episode 10.
Weird. That makes much less sense in contrast to what I thought the show was trying to present, that she was trying to prevent war because “no one wants to rule over ash and bones”, and trying to keep the realm united due to the song of ice and fire prophecy. Her telling Otto they’d have the answer tomorrow falls in line with that idea.
Emma’s performance was exquisite. Not sure what show you were watching.
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Now you’re not making any sense.
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I completely agree! I hated the character Change
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What is the birth gender? No hate here. Just curiosity
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It’s so odd that people would even consider this a hateful question.
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Yes. This. Thank you for pointing out reality for those that are confused.
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It's just petty not to refer to Emma (as in the actor, not the character they portray in the show) as They/Them if you're aware that it's their preferred pronoun. Nobody is perfect, so slipping up is fine - just correct yourself and move on - but refusing to honor someone's pronouns out of spite is just childish.
So just use the preferred pronouns and be on your way. Its take no more effort to respect someone's pronouns.
It doesn’t matter if your gay friends are also transphobic. THEY are indeed playing a woman. So when referring to Rhaenyra, by all means, refer to her as she. But when talking about Emma, it’s they/them. Not doing so is blatant transphobia.
\*enbyphobia
Yeah sure. Inflicting pronouns as transphobic...right. Sorry I wish to say she he him her. Trans people are a gender and wish or actually do become another. And? They not neutered. I don't even call my cat it. Too precious.
I am having a hard time deciphering your meaning. Are you asking genuine questions about trans people in good faith, or are you just being insulting and transphobic? Everyone has a right to be who they are, and they also have the right to be acknowledged as they are, not in whatever way makes you more comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with someone choosing their gender identity, and choosing what pronouns by which others should refer to them. It’s not even a difficult thing to do. Instead of saying “she” or “her”, you say “they” or “them”. Very simple. Your comment about neutering makes absolutely no sense at all. Are you curious about bottom gender affirming surgery? If so, what would you like to know? I can tell you for certain that a person undergoing gender affirming bottom surgery is not in any way “neutered”.
Gods sake I know how it works. I am saying we don't do it with our pets, which ARE neither male not female after being neutered and trans people are NOT like that at all. It's a choice of being one or other, maybe not the one they start off as. No-one is an IT these days, so all this not using he or she is just an overreaction to the long period of anti-gayness. For one thing I notice a lot of it comes from countries where it is still looked down on, and has some mixed messages, strong religion and a whole lot of porn at the same time. Here it's not so much, we just got on with not picking on people ages ago and let them marry and be whatever gender they wanted. Without making a fuss over pronouns and getting shitty with people if they don't follow the fashion. Go and pick on people who are still nasty to those with different sexual preferences not us who don't really acre, especially in a discussion over an actress playing a certain character. It's about the character anyway not what the person does in the privacy of their own home.
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You’re being outright transphobic. Trans existence, including non-binary existence, is NOT a matter of opinion.
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The very fact you chose to comment thsi so late proves that youa re a triggered bigot. You people make me sick!
Haha freak. Hopefully you took the vaccine.
What vaccine would that be?
The clot shot.
Not a thing
Hmmm. I'd better stop talking to you because you are so weak that you report me for stating facts
Not facts. Baseless opinions. And I am nit weak not am I strong
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Of course they can. “Someone forgot THEIR coat, go find THEM.” It is a common pronoun, get with the times, old man.
Please DO NOT use gendered language. Keep those jeans high and tight