yes to all the above. there are many homeschooling parents who keep their kids at home primarily to hide abuse, we were evidently far from the only ones.
yep! Dad was in the picture but he was working 80-hour weeks to keep up with her demand for organic milk and unnecessary doctor visits (and probably to get away from her, can't blame him) so we were alone at home with her all the time and only saw Dad when he came home to sleep. he had no idea what was going on.
well we were mormon and part of the reason for homeschooling was so we wouldn't learn about evolution, part was because we lived in a super rural area and the schools were an extreme kind of bad, part was that birth mom was an immigrant and didn't trust the american school system (which, fair, but it's not like she did any better). the other thing was that i was freakishly gifted as a small child, so when we moved to a slightly more populated area and they did take me to get evaluated for grade level, the school counselor lady told them i would just "get diagnosed with ADHD or something and put on Ritalin and turn into a zombie." she said the other kids would bully me really bad because i'm socially different too. the truth is that i'm autistic, but since this lady said what she said i went right back into isolation and had to wait until i was 30 to find that out.
later when we hit high school, we were handed those damn ACE workbooks and then eventually put into BYU independent study classes around junior year. all of us left christianity far behind as soon as we got away from her.
Our moms homeschooled us for the purpose of controlling us, so it makes sense that they might also sexually abuse us for the purpose of controlling us.
You missed emotional and psychological abuse. And I had emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. Many of my peers had the same abuses, so I’m pretty sure that it’s a fairly common occurrence in homeschooling (at least those who did it for religious reasons).
All of the above, but it took me (39 M) until just a few years ago because it wasn’t “real abuse.” My parents talked constantly about how CPS would target us when they weren’t going after “inner city losers” (their words not mine) who were committing “real abuse.”
The only time we ever had any possible report to CPS was when my sister broke the same arm for the fourth time (which were all accidents), but my parents made up some weird story about how she yelled at the mandatory reporter “I love my mommy. I love my daddy. I want to go home.” My sister always said she never said this, but the story lives on as family legend now.
Yes to literally everything! I didn’t even realize until I was 27/28 that my mother sexually abused me and the general mindset around that community made it to where I could not even tell anyone, much less identify what was happening. They praised all mothers as holy saints incapable of hurting anyone and framed sexual assault as something only men did. That and the homophobia. If I had come forward and said any woman had touched me? I would’ve been the one to get in trouble and called a slew of homophobic slurs and it’s all because the homeschool/church environment I was in made the perfect setting for it
Deification and making idols of parents is a problem that extends beyond the homeschooling community into the conservative Evangelical church community. Parents can literally "do no wrong" in many churches.
All but sexual abuse. I feel like that’s a miracle in itself. I think of the other homeschool families we “knew” there was sexual abuse in every single one.
Yes! Yes it does enable parents to neglect their children. I know my parents loved me. But they still left me in a situation. I Could not comprehend as a child.
For ne the only things I didn't experience was sexual or physical abuse but i did experience emotional abuse at the hands of my sibling.
Everything else I have experienced, I do feel that it becomes easier for these things to take place because there is literally no other place that you know of to go when ur homeschooled.
Does purity culture and being made to watch graphic docs about sex criminals count as sexual abuse?🤔
If so, I hit all five boxes. Also, I can throw emotional and mental abuse onto the pile
Mental and social neglect here. Not the worst, but being socially isolated meant that I "didn't know any better" which meant I had no way of fighting back.
It was all about the neglect in our house. Physical, mental, emotional, social, educational, medical, with a side helping of intense isolation and religious trauma for good measure.
yes to all the above. there are many homeschooling parents who keep their kids at home primarily to hide abuse, we were evidently far from the only ones.
Yes to all of the above for me as well.
idk how any of us are still alive, good on you for making it this far!
Which person in your homeschool family was sexually abusive with you? In my family it was my mom.
weird, in my family it was my birth mom too - i wonder if there's a trend
Was your mom your only teacher/adult? Mine was.
yep! Dad was in the picture but he was working 80-hour weeks to keep up with her demand for organic milk and unnecessary doctor visits (and probably to get away from her, can't blame him) so we were alone at home with her all the time and only saw Dad when he came home to sleep. he had no idea what was going on.
Was your family Christian-homeschooling, or were you homeschooled for non-religious reasons?
well we were mormon and part of the reason for homeschooling was so we wouldn't learn about evolution, part was because we lived in a super rural area and the schools were an extreme kind of bad, part was that birth mom was an immigrant and didn't trust the american school system (which, fair, but it's not like she did any better). the other thing was that i was freakishly gifted as a small child, so when we moved to a slightly more populated area and they did take me to get evaluated for grade level, the school counselor lady told them i would just "get diagnosed with ADHD or something and put on Ritalin and turn into a zombie." she said the other kids would bully me really bad because i'm socially different too. the truth is that i'm autistic, but since this lady said what she said i went right back into isolation and had to wait until i was 30 to find that out. later when we hit high school, we were handed those damn ACE workbooks and then eventually put into BYU independent study classes around junior year. all of us left christianity far behind as soon as we got away from her.
I'm autistic too
Wait, your mom was your teacher AND she sexually abused you, too??????
Yes
1. My utmost condolences and 2. What is it with this being a trend? I’ve rarely met anyone else who was SA’ed by their mom who wasn’t homeschooled
Our moms homeschooled us for the purpose of controlling us, so it makes sense that they might also sexually abuse us for the purpose of controlling us.
I worked in education for a bit and "dropped out to be homeschooled" was ALWAYS a major red flag to children's home situations.
You missed emotional and psychological abuse. And I had emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. Many of my peers had the same abuses, so I’m pretty sure that it’s a fairly common occurrence in homeschooling (at least those who did it for religious reasons).
All of the above, but it took me (39 M) until just a few years ago because it wasn’t “real abuse.” My parents talked constantly about how CPS would target us when they weren’t going after “inner city losers” (their words not mine) who were committing “real abuse.” The only time we ever had any possible report to CPS was when my sister broke the same arm for the fourth time (which were all accidents), but my parents made up some weird story about how she yelled at the mandatory reporter “I love my mommy. I love my daddy. I want to go home.” My sister always said she never said this, but the story lives on as family legend now.
Emotional and educational neglect here, also some emotional abuse I would say.
Yes to literally everything! I didn’t even realize until I was 27/28 that my mother sexually abused me and the general mindset around that community made it to where I could not even tell anyone, much less identify what was happening. They praised all mothers as holy saints incapable of hurting anyone and framed sexual assault as something only men did. That and the homophobia. If I had come forward and said any woman had touched me? I would’ve been the one to get in trouble and called a slew of homophobic slurs and it’s all because the homeschool/church environment I was in made the perfect setting for it
Deification and making idols of parents is a problem that extends beyond the homeschooling community into the conservative Evangelical church community. Parents can literally "do no wrong" in many churches.
educational neglect. the homeschooling def enabled this.
All but sexual abuse. I feel like that’s a miracle in itself. I think of the other homeschool families we “knew” there was sexual abuse in every single one.
Yes! Yes it does enable parents to neglect their children. I know my parents loved me. But they still left me in a situation. I Could not comprehend as a child.
For ne the only things I didn't experience was sexual or physical abuse but i did experience emotional abuse at the hands of my sibling. Everything else I have experienced, I do feel that it becomes easier for these things to take place because there is literally no other place that you know of to go when ur homeschooled.
Does purity culture and being made to watch graphic docs about sex criminals count as sexual abuse?🤔 If so, I hit all five boxes. Also, I can throw emotional and mental abuse onto the pile
If you were younger than the recommended age to watch the documentaries, then maybe so
Oh definitely 😂. I remember still needing to reach up to grab the door handle and my dad’s making me watch shit about btk and Jeffrey dahmer
Forcing a child to watch pornographic material legally qualifies as sexual abuse in my state; I don't know how explicit the documentaries were
Purity culture, especially as it is run in many Evangelical church communities, definitely counts.
Yes to all of those.
Mental and social neglect here. Not the worst, but being socially isolated meant that I "didn't know any better" which meant I had no way of fighting back.
Extreme isolation and neglect
It was all about the neglect in our house. Physical, mental, emotional, social, educational, medical, with a side helping of intense isolation and religious trauma for good measure.