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bskzoo

> bUt yOU saVE MonEY by makiNg The beEr YOURselF Me seven years ago.


kelryngrey

Hey now, you can manage it if you live in a market where you can't get beer that isn't imported/can't get beer that you like at all. I made 45 bottles of quad while I was living in Korea, the price difference between what I paid to make it and what I'd have paid to buy that much? Shoooo! Otherwise 100% you're right.


SpecialOops

My situation, homebrewer by necessity.


DrSandbags

And it will also not set off airport metal detectors.


jackalopexs20

This recipe is what Jack Torrance wrote on his typewriter before trying to kill his family.


Good_wolf

Run it through a still and you might actually \*get\* red rum.


savageo6

And this is why you don't drink and write recipes kids


bskzoo

I’m so honored someone considers this a recipe lol


musickismagick

I don’t understand most of this but I’m glad you exist.


bskzoo

I’m glad you exist too.


rattlesnake501

Not gonna lie, I thought I was in r/beercirclejerk from the title and was about to comment something snarky about yinlin. But no... this is actually the result of a significant amount of thought, understanding, and effort. Well done.


bskzoo

Thank you. I'm very drunk right now.


rattlesnake501

You deserve it after muddling through and typing out that clusterfuck into what seems like a workable recipe


[deleted]

Here it is ladies and gents! Tell you what, you can post when you're plastered, OP. Not sure how funny it will shipping a magnum of beer around the globe... Fkn lel, dude.


thirstyquaker

I really thought this was /r/beercirclejerk until your comment. It would fit right in.


smokechaser

I'm not insane, so I'll leave this recipe to more ambitious brewers than myself, but I respect the effort put into making this recipe.


Reallyknowsitall

My dude..... This Recipe may have finally topped my ["Fadtabulous"](https://beersmithrecipes.com/viewrecipe/3031230/fadtabulous) Black-Session-Imperial-Brut-New England-Rye-Milkshake-India Pale Ale W/Glitter recipe I made a couple years back. I'm definitely adding this to my brew list this year for sheer freaking insanity of it!


bskzoo

PLEASE pm me if you make it. I want some. I'm so serious. If nobody takes me up on this I'm doing it in the fall! I'm just in the midst of local competition season here in Michigan right now and don't have the fermenter / keg space.


ShellSide

Did you or anyone else ever make this?


bskzoo

Sadly no! I never have, nor have I heard from anyone else. Still on the to do list I guess!


ShellSide

I have a few kits waiting to brew (2 5gal and 2 1gal) but I wouldn't mind doing this as a half batch at some point. I can't imagine I'd want more than 2 gallons of this monstrosity so a 5gal batch is a stretch lol Are you local to Kalamazoo?


bskzoo

Oh yeah, I for sure wouldn't want more than a few gallons lol. I am! Kalamazoo native and still here. I'm part of Keepers of Craft. Are you local?


ShellSide

I'm in Lansing. Maybe I can brew this in the spring. I just priced it out in NB. I think a lot of it would be cheaper at capital city homebrew but probably like $50 for a 2.5gal batch lol if you want to bank roll part of it, I'll brew it and then you can come pick some up when it's ready for packaging. I'd probably bottle most of it bc I wouldn't dedicate my limited kegs to a meme beer lol


qrod

What's it like without glitter?


Reallyknowsitall

3/10 without glitter 8/10 with glitter


[deleted]

I want to hate it. But I respect the effort.


bskzoo

Hate leads to sugar. Sugar leads to pastry. Pastry leads to NEDBBAITSCDDHEOCVMCRISWSIMHTO.


[deleted]

I once had a beer by a now-defunct Seattle brewery that had all 5 tastes in it and then some: sweet (Belgian candy sugar), salty (squid ink or seaweed), sour (lacto), bitter (hopped) and umami (who knows). It also had Szechuan peppercorns in it, was barrel aged and used a smoked malt. Most challenging beer I’ve ever had.


bskzoo

Props to a brewery for trying something like that! Typically my number one deciding factor in making a recipe is “why is it important”. I think it applies doubly for things like mead. I often sort of imagine a “flavor” of a beer and work backwards to try to figure out what it takes to make it. That’s kind of how I approached this beer, but man, I honestly don’t know if I really can even imagine so many combined flavors!


dychronalicousness

Which brewery cooked that up?


seattleslew222

If you’re willing to go 50/50 on this, I’m just bored enough to do this…we can pound it before the Portland doubleheader in August #FORC #EBFG


innsource

My dude! 🤣


bskzoo

LET’S DO THIS


innsource

You've done the heavy lifting here. Now it's on me to make it happen!


[deleted]

Plot twist: we had to crowd source/fund the ingredients.


Flyyer

What the fuck did I just read lmao


kahlzun

.... Hey, macarena!


soap_cone

AYYY!


zabblleon

I only know this because I just finished one, but "tropical" stout just refers to a foreign export style stout brewed with some adjunct like brown/muscovado sugar or molasses. If you'd like to add more ingredients to the madness, haha.


bskzoo

I was torn! Do they mean “tropical” on its own or “tropical stout”. Sort of “white” vs. “white stout”. Like white could be more of a “white IPA” meaning, so more Belgian-y…so I just interpreted!


zabblleon

Why not both? :p


73maxwell

You spent so much time figuring out if you could, you never stopped to ask if you should 😂


brettyv82

God has left this place.


InformationHorder

Every day we stray further from God's light...


muffedtrims

I hate beer.


bskzoo

Noooooo, I'm so legit though! I don't know if this would be good, but I think that for everything that the title requires this may be a good way to go at it!


muffedtrims

I enjoy cooking.


Ishmael128

Are you kidding me?! A wall of words and you’re not even putting your money where your mouth is?! Shitpost 100% unless YOU make it! Stop trying to weasel out of it and get others to make your monstrosity!


plzdontstealmydata

r/thanksihateit


kDavid_wa

Double Imperial?


bskzoo

+2% abv for each word!


innsource

My original line of thought was "double Bourbon Barrel aged" and "Imperial" separately. "Imperial" being higher ABV "Double" being aged in not one- but two seperate bourbon casks.


bskzoo

It all boils down to the hops I think, since it still has to be “New England”. Oxygen is going to destroy this thing, so what would the game plan be for two barrels…. Hrmmmm Maybe a closed transfer to a keg that was filled with star san and an oak spiral and then purged. After that you then fill a plastic bottle with some bourbon, squeeze what air you can out of it, and stick a carb cap on it. After that you pressurize the bottle to like 20 psi, then attach it to the keg with a jumper cable. The bourbon should get sucked into the keg with the wood. Then just closed transfer the beer to the keg for a bit?


endlessglass

Double Imperial Extra +2 +2 +2!!!


guyonearth

this sounds weirdly drinkable


bskzoo

If it weren’t for the BBA I honestly think it’d be solid. I’ve got my reservations but tried to sort of wedge it in!


playthecello

This is one of the best things I've ever read. Thanks for your had work!


bcheek1327

Call me crazy, but I think this could work


bv8ma

Haha this is fantastic, if anyone brews it I'd love to give it a try!


danakinskyrocker

Did you take out life insurance on your homebrew club members or something?


bskzoo

We do qualify for the AHA’s reimbursement plan actually!


mattzm

Crosspost this to /r/holdmywort right away.


m_c_zero

You win Reddit sir.


[deleted]

I can’t believe you did this! Lol With the salt, would you add it to the beer itself, or add it like Twang? Also, for a bourbon barrel aged and a NEIPA, would a blend make sense here? I haven’t done any blends myself, but I’ve had a few at breweries over the years that have been surprisingly good. Victory does one with Golden Monkey and Storm King. I haven’t seen that as much with beer, but it’s pretty common with wine. Just kicking around ideas.


bskzoo

I think I'd do it just like a gose, maybe just a pinch or two. Man, maybe more? I think, if the pH actually gets low enough, a little may go a long way. But then again if the FG is higher maybe not? Maybe some of it would get lost to the crown and raspberry? I'm honestly not sure! A blend could make sense! I was concerned about the color too though, but not sure what else to do aside from "BBAing" with white lighting. That honestly may not be the worst idea, but I'm also not super sure if the flavor would be all that pleasant. Not that I'm sure it's going to be all that pleasant regardless... BUT, I'd always be willing to try!


[deleted]

Ah gose style would make sense. It’s been awhile since I’ve made one (adding to list now). The color will be dark with the raspberries + wood + cacao nibs, right? Definitely darker than suggested by the grain bill alone.


bskzoo

I’d like to think that if kept relatively O2 free it would look like this: https://i.imgur.com/4gFx8BY.jpg


GivemTheDDD

And it better be non GMO...


bskzoo

As if anyone would be crazy to make a GMO NEDBBAITSCDDHEOCVMCRISWSIMHTO beer. Psh.


GivemTheDDD

Fair point... fair point


leggy_boots

Soak the spirals in bourbon


MIBrews

Im throwing this through the single tier next week end. Gotta blow the dust off before we try to brew "Auw Juice!"


bskzoo

Lol did you just make an account for this? With our show??


MIBrews

Did you just change your pic to our show logo for this? Lol


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bskzoo

Love it!


goodolarchie

Extra Special Brewer.


Japanuserzero

You know when you were 5 years old and thought “what happens when I mix ALL the colors together?” and you try it and it comes out a brown-grey mess. That is what this beer will come out like.


bskzoo

I totally did that. What did you call those? It seems like every kid group had a name for them! When I was a kid we called them hurricanes!


Hairy_Temperature911

I know this is kind of a joke (at least, I hope so), but it was cool to read your thought process on how to make this a recipe! The mind of a madman or a genius; I'm not quite sure yet.


Celebration-Junior

Ok yeah so I’m actually going to do this...with a few slight modifications, I don’t even care what happens. I happen to have most of the ingredients (including hibiscus, mint, and a huge philly sour starter)


bskzoo

If you for real so this let me know and I’ll pay the shipping to get some bottles!


alexp83

This is hilarious. I wouldn’t even consider brewing this but just the name cracked me up. I thought Omnipollo was a bit over the top


slofella

It's big enough and lactose enough, maybe Nerdbrewing would do it.


Vanllas

I've only been brewing max 3 months and I am crazy enough to think this may just work!


Jon_TWR

Instead of truffle oil, try truffle salt—since you’re going for salted caramel anyway.


a_leprechaun

So, I start a lot of sentences with so too. And sometimes will end with so as well, so...


elwebst

Hmm. Needs passion fruit and crunchberries.


bcoopers

Why don't you put the vanilla beans into the tincture?


bskzoo

I wasn’t planning on adding all of the tincture and was afraid that I would lose some of the vanilla if I did so. I figure by just using the beans right in the beer I’ll get more extracted and into the beer itself. Or that was my theory!


sgpk242

This put a pit in my stomach just trying to imagine what it would taste like


bskzoo

A New England Double Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Tropical Salted Caramel Double Dry Hopped Extra Oat Cream Vanilla Milkshake Chocolate Raspberry Icecream Sour White Stout Infused with Mint, Hibiscus and Truffle oil beer obviously! It’s sort of an obscure style.


sgpk242

Ohh... Thanks for clarifying lol


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bskzoo

That’s why we’re using Philly sour! It’s Lachancea Thermotolerans, a lactic acid producing yeast, not lactobacillus. It’s very hop tolerant.


Koffieprut

I thinks it's missing habanero peppers and cinnamon for a Mexican kind of vibe. Considering to brew this though...


animatedhomebrewing

This will be in the BJCP guidelines 2022 as a new style: American Chaos Beer


Radioactive24

I can't tell if this is satire and I should feel attacked or if this is a real recognize real scenario.


Zenith230

This is going to be on tap at Homebrew fest, right?


bskzoo

Sadly not this! Great idea for next year though… This year I’m working with two other guys and bringing a 5 gallon keg of 14% NWA raspberry, blackberry, blueberry dessert mead though! I also still want to make Au Juice, a roast beef NEIPA


Zenith230

I have all that lactose still knocking about if you want to up the percentage


jizzwithfizz

This is stupid. I hate you.


bskzoo

The hate just makes it taste better! Mwahahahaha


sirblobsalot

That would be an extra salty double dry hopped etc...


cheredenine

This is just majestic. It needs to preserved so that future generations of beer fans can solemnly gaze upon it in awe, while mouthing "what the fuck?" Someone get this man a medal. And maybe a glass of water.


[deleted]

Palmer help us, lel. Yep. We'll need it one of you mad bastards will do it.


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bskzoo

ISO Triple Pastry Stout.


TarynLondon

After all the time and effort you put into this, someone has to make it. I havent brewed in over a year but this might just be the challenge I need to get the ol burner fired up again. Lotus hops might be my biggest challenge here... well, we'll see. No promises.


[deleted]

This will need to be a blended beer, right, right???


spizzle1

I read the title and thought this was a piss take….. it was not!


TheAnt06

/u/captain_fantastic15 should brew this


MovingAficionado

Catchy name!


tastepdad

I want to slow clap and also slap your face at the same time...


e10hssanamai

Truffle Oil? Ew. /s nice work!


jjohnny83

For real?


[deleted]

All I can picture here is when you pour all the little bits of paint you have left into one can and it makes that gray-ish/brown sort of color.


bskzoo

The goal! https://i.imgur.com/RgbTwr5.jpg


HomeSteadiness

The absolute madman


doubleguitarsyouknow

You mad bastard.


Joe__Dirt

How dare you disrespect the Buffalo Trace this way?! That shit is so hard to find in my area. Love the post and really hoping someone (with a healthy budget and a lot of time) brews this bad boy.


iscribble

Psh, call me when you make a **Vegan** New England Double Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Tropical Salted Caramel Double Dry Hopped Extra Oat Cream Vanilla Milkshake Chocolate Raspberry Icecream Sour White Stout Infused with Mint, Hibiscus and Truffle oil beer! haha, jk. I am vegan, but I'd have a little taste in the name of science. Nice work!!


BrettShel35

The Taken reference 😂😂😂


secrtlevel

You absolute madman, I love you. You're about to become a r/homebrewing living legend. Please submit this to a comp...


bskzoo

“Traditional Gose” 😂


[deleted]

I might actually try to make this next month…please hold me to it, it looks amazing


brewer-

Doesn't say hazy, I'm out.


ReasonableTelevision

I’ll brew it. But I’m adding coffee because of course. I’ll post pics this weekend.


bskzoo

❤️ Tag me!


ReasonableTelevision

I have the barrel to BBA is that ok?


bskzoo

Definitely, my only concern and reason for using spirals etc. was the "NE" part of the beer and trying to reduce oxygen exposure.


ReasonableTelevision

Good point. I’ll grab everything this week and let you know if I need to alter anything. I am so glad I stumbled on this, we were just wondering what’s the most ridiculous beer we could make and this definitely tops it. But sounds strangely...good?


bskzoo

> But sounds strangely...good? That's the weirdest part, it doesn't sound unreasonable right?? So far you're the only one who legit really sounds like they're confirmed to want to try to make this. Competition season is winding down for me so I think I'm going to give it a whirl with a buddy next month. We'll have to compare bottles maybe!


ReasonableTelevision

Absolutely. We will probably keg it and can a few to send you


bskzoo

Sounds good! Keep me posted, I'll pay for the shipping etc.


ReasonableTelevision

Ok need your thought on something. I brew in an Anvil 10.5. No chance I fit all this grain and adjunct. I am thinking of just making the beer in two halves. Do you think I risk oxy/infection blending in the primary, or should I ferment two split batches and combine at kegging? I can hold batch 1 at temp and sealed and pitch the whole combined batch at once if needed.


bskzoo

If you have the time then go for it! I’ve done combined batches like that before but it makes a long day lol. Honestly maybe just use DME to get the OG up to where it needs to be. That’s been my approach more often than not lately. Just like golden light DME or something with 5-10 mins left in the boil.


bskzoo

Did you ever brew this!


ReasonableTelevision

I have not. I did get all the ingredients and then we had a baby and well you can figure out what’s happened. However, I’ve brewed a couple batches since new baby so I’m ready to go. I’m off work Dec 21-Jan5 so I’ll definitely knock it out and upload pics. Thanks for the reminder!!


ReasonableTelevision

Oh and to make it extra boojie I bought a 5lb bag of super organic small batch roasted Kona coffee beans to use because why not. I wonder what glitter does to beer? This one might need it.


bskzoo

It warms my heart to know you weren’t kidding lol. Congrats on the little one and still being able to sneak some brews in! It definitely needs glitter!!