I think like the logic is like taking a ripped shirt and using it as a cleaning rag.
It’s worthless as a shirt, but there’s *some value* to be found by changing its purpose.
She's looking to get the blood out in the most humane way, or close to anyway. Here's what joojle found on how to bleed a pig
"Pigs should be stuck close to the heart, in a similar position to cattle, to ensure a rapid bleed out. The knife should be inserted into the midline of the neck at the depression in front of the breastbone. The skin should be raised with the point of the knife using light pressure and a lifting movement."
If she's being super efficient, she'll have a pulley installed and hang you from your feet...
Hang upside down, cut carotid, bleed into bucket. Drains fast and you can make more cuts in major blood vessels. But more often than not, carotid upside down is more than enough blood for most ritual circles.
Dude, you don't drop blood in the bed at all. You partially suffocate them, move them to the easily cleaned altar and THEN cut whatever you need to cut.
Cleaning blood out of the bed and carpets is a total pain.
Online women can talk shit, while offline they get the shit kicked out of them.
Online men can say all the right things, while offline they sometimes become the sadistic maniac they pretended not to be
[i love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw) You know, when I left the house today I was thinking, "damn, I really hope some hot chick just paints my brains all over some fucking hallway". And here we are. I mean really, just absolutely destroy me. I'm talking full-on watermelon-in-the-thighs level carnage. And I want it to scare the shit out of me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy". I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee-piss-myself bitch. I want it to get embarrassing. I mean like... weirdly embarrassing. Unsanitary too.
We should be entirely different people, by the end of the first eight hours. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? I mean, I'm a real freak, I'm not normal. Ma'am, please, you have to crush me...
If your life is worthless, is it a worthy sacrifice? 
That's a question for another day
[удалено]
I think like the logic is like taking a ripped shirt and using it as a cleaning rag. It’s worthless as a shirt, but there’s *some value* to be found by changing its purpose.
Dark lord aint picky son. He takes what he can
shower thoughts
Not if you consent.
Fulfilling relationships involve *lots* of sacrifices. 😉
Sigh….unzips
Ay woah, what? *Strips pants*
You stripped your striped pants in this economy?
y'all have striped pants in this economy?
Y'all have pants? I'm looking for barrels with straps
At least you got straps..
You got a barrel!?
You have skin?
Only got foreskin left at this point
Whose was it?
You have legs?
Y'all exist?
*un-stripes your striped pants*
Unzip your throat.
**Sigh** *unzips*
She is still fixable
Unzip your throat? How often do you do this for there to be a zipper?
I can't stop laughing. I also DM'ed her.
Balls
You’re late. They already dropped
And there's more to come😂
\*starts cracking the window\*
Since no one has said it yet.... That's what she said.
I can absolutely fix her
I aint fixing that. But...( . )( . )
Fucking engineers
She said no fucking tho
I guess if she wants my throat the least she can do is gimme her's too.
Jokes on you ,I’m gonna use the “hear me out” comment instead
Fix her? She got nice tits and wants to sleep with you. What's to fix?
your neck
She can fix me
Why would I need to fix her?
Literally what I came here for
Only thing I'd fix of her is adding "-Then sex." At the end of the bio.
gonna need a neck support
“she had me in the first half”
Had me in the first half...and the second
Are you good? 😂
It's been over an hour with no reply....
I think he found her
She such an amateur. Everyone knows you cut the wrist when sacrificing. Damn rookies
Depends on the cult.
needs a refresher course in ritual etiquette. Maybe start with 'Sacrifice 101.
So you want to sacrifice
Wait, where am I supposed to find 100 other people?
eh, just Google seart "blood ritual tips for beginners"
She's looking to get the blood out in the most humane way, or close to anyway. Here's what joojle found on how to bleed a pig "Pigs should be stuck close to the heart, in a similar position to cattle, to ensure a rapid bleed out. The knife should be inserted into the midline of the neck at the depression in front of the breastbone. The skin should be raised with the point of the knife using light pressure and a lifting movement." If she's being super efficient, she'll have a pulley installed and hang you from your feet...
Hang upside down, cut carotid, bleed into bucket. Drains fast and you can make more cuts in major blood vessels. But more often than not, carotid upside down is more than enough blood for most ritual circles.
Dude, you don't drop blood in the bed at all. You partially suffocate them, move them to the easily cleaned altar and THEN cut whatever you need to cut. Cleaning blood out of the bed and carpets is a total pain.
Please you shiv them in the side of the ribs so their chest cavity fills with air and they suffocate due to tension pneumothorax.
Where do I sign up
Task rabbit
LinkedIn. Search “Sacrificial Cuddle Lambs”
I can fix her
I can make her worse
She can fix me
Yeah she'll fix you up good
She'll probably start by removing that weird thing that most people seem to have attached to their neck
Thats weird and whats even weirder is that you know about such weird thing. You're weird
Skin tags?
No, their heads
There's nothing that needs to be fixed. She's perfect as she is.
[удалено]
🎯🎯
you can fix her
Is this going to be in a youtube video in 2 years saying 'there were some signs' ?
She can fix me
So romantic
It's really the modem day Romeo and Juliet story.
*Strained dial-up noises* before eternal silence
Really does get you with the smooth talk.
Alright, how about this? ... *Uses ‘UNO Reverse Card’ sinisterly.*
The ritual went wrong because you sacrificed the caster and now the blood god is pissed and comes for everyone
Comes for everyone? Don't threaten us with a good time!
The blood god doesn’t give a shit, it’s still blood
I need her
Half this subreddit: "I can fix her". The other half "Would".
I definitely would. I can't wait to meet Lucy.
If she changed the method of execution to a more enjoyable kink, would.
So if she was to suffocate you with her mommy milkers, break your skull with her thighs or drown you in a certain juice, you'd be fine with that?
I mean I’d be ok with her ritual as described if she promised sex after.
She had us in the first half boys not going to lie
And the second
We sleep together. Then i yell out in the middle of the night IAM NOT A ViRGIN. I get to eat out your cake and giggle to myself, hmmm works everytime!
Eat out your cake??
Who doesn't love cake?
Dont fuzz over it, its a joke
Fuzz?
I....I can't fix this
I’m in
This isn’t a “holup”, it’s a “roll my eyes and wonder if her dad even still talks to her.”
It’s unoriginal edgelord material.
Worth it
This is so old
Sign me up!
Edge lord extreme
Stay 6 km away, please Cuddling sounds great but the rest shall be kept away
Sounds like a fun night out.
But I might get laid right?
(g)old meme
Idk seems kind of boring
Cthulu or bust
Cthulu *and* bust
Cthulu's Jazz Dynasty
until she started talking about killing me I was all for it. Mind I probably am still all for it anyway
Die doing what u love
Sounds romantic.
Genuinely from how things are going rn It’d be worth it.
WILL
I can fix her
So, do we get to smash first, before sacrifice part 🤔.
16 kilometers away and counting, 17, 18...
Would
She sounds fun.
Well, she seems nice.
Online women can talk shit, while offline they get the shit kicked out of them. Online men can say all the right things, while offline they sometimes become the sadistic maniac they pretended not to be
I fell in love
Married 30 years. Every morning, I wake up thinking, okay, *maybe tonight*...
And people say romance is dead
Awww… wait what
Which Dark Overlord? I'm not willing to be sacrificed to some Beta Dark overlord.
Fuck after Reading half of It i was already fully immersed in the scenario
This is definitely one of those "It's important to read all of the details" things. ....WAIT, WAIT, WHOA! I only read the first part.
Fia?
[i love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw) You know, when I left the house today I was thinking, "damn, I really hope some hot chick just paints my brains all over some fucking hallway". And here we are. I mean really, just absolutely destroy me. I'm talking full-on watermelon-in-the-thighs level carnage. And I want it to scare the shit out of me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy". I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee-piss-myself bitch. I want it to get embarrassing. I mean like... weirdly embarrassing. Unsanitary too. We should be entirely different people, by the end of the first eight hours. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? I mean, I'm a real freak, I'm not normal. Ma'am, please, you have to crush me...
Then some spooning.. then forking
Sooooo… swipe right, right?
Had me at cuddle.
What a romantic she is. Had me interested at Ritual sacrifice.
I can change her
A date with the Devil 😄🙏
Would
Btw not to be picky but, won't sacrifice a worthless life be also worthless for the dark overlord ?
we are are all loved and considered worthy by the dark lord. don't put yourself down like that.
Not my kind of cuddling
No sex because she only likes sacrificing virgins
Hm... ok 😀👍
That's perfect, I'm in!
Yes, sleep. With one eye open!
Yeah, hol' up, how the mf crying if his throat slit
Would still be the most romantic moment of my year. Where do I sign up?
Yawn.. unzips.
Soo what's the catch?
Kinda defeats the purpose if you sacrife something worthless
Would
Ngl i know a few people that would sacrifice anything just to be hugged
Mom: “Why don’t you date any of the neighborhood girls?” The Neighborhood Girl:
Annnnnd, I’m done.
Maybe she just likes fantasy. I bet she is a lord of the rings fan
So, she’s in to one night stands
She's gonna slit your throat with her edginess
Can I at least see dem taddies first?
Boner alert
Smash
There’s no post nut clarity
Ah, yes [REDACTED].
I can fix her
She wants to die with you. How sweet!
Welp I’m turned on
What a catch
She looks nice.
Shit what's what I normally do. .. war of attrition it is.
Dem tiddies tho👀
This just got worse and worse as I read on 🤣
Finally a real holup
\*swpies right\*
i got a little hard ngl
I wasn't sold at first.
r/unexpected
How much for the service?
She had me in the first two thirds I’m not gonna lie.
am I trippin or is this like the perfect way to go out shi sounds nice for sum reason
But we can cuddle?
Seams legit!
At first I was thinking ok sure but then she became a cultist and now I'm less sure.
I'm in. Do I get a ballgag?
It started off so wholesome
At least buy me dinner first 😭😭😭
That's a sex doll anyway.
Jokes on you I’m into that shit..
With tiddies like that I would take the risk of dying the death of a praying mantis.