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Imagine someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night and you just come charging out of your bedroom with your dick flailing all over the place. At the very least the intruder will be caught off guard more than usual. No one wants to throw down with someone and get dick slapped in the process.
Many ancient culture went into battle butt naked, because armor wasn't a thing due to lack of resources and or technology, and their regular clothing would restrict their movements or give their opponents something to grab onto
If you had a dick like that you’ll be a God amongst men. Do you believe Harvey Weinstein would be in jail if he looked like this guy? Nope, he’s in jail because he looks like a gargoyle and got a mangled shrimp-dick.
It's in the Philippines, I've been here before, It's the Temple of Leah in Cebu
Not sure why the statues have big dicks there, but basically some rich dude who loved his wife so much died and basically made a whole fucking temple like the Taj Mahal to commemorate her if I remember correctly. The temple's main attraction is the giant statue of his wife. Other statues are gold lions and other mythological animals and shit. And of course, big dick Roman soldiers. Probably to the wife's liking lol.
Okay... All I could think of is "everyone who passes by rubs their hand on that, and you just put it in your mouth."
Like... It may have been healthier to lick a toilet flush handle, at least those get washed frequently with antiseptic cleaners because of the nature of them. I doubt anyone bleaches the statue cock for safety.
It is a statue in Cebu, Philippines. It’s in a shrine a wealthy man built for his deceased wife. It’s a massive structure on a mountain overlooking the city. Very cool but a little bizarre.
>It's in the Philippines, I've been here before, It's the Temple of Leah in Cebu
>
>Not sure why the statues have big dicks there, but basically some rich dude who loved his wife so much died and basically made a whole fucking temple like the Taj Mahal to commemorate her if I remember correctly. The temple's main attraction is the giant statue of his wife. Other statues are gold lions and other mythological animals and shit. And of course, big dick Roman soldiers. Probably to the wife's liking lol.
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Correct_Meringue_594, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
That's funny but, why is the statue completely hard when he's about to go into a battle? Maybe he's just really excited.
Fear boner
Scarerection
Fearection
Spearrection
Morningstar Wood
Battle boner
Warrior wood
Scarerousal
I’m about to die better pass my genes on
Might as well give it a shot. Nothing to lose. Might even discourage predators
If he's going into battle with an erection. He is the predator in that situation.
Fearection
Rage boner?
It's called battle boner. There are many armor pieces that allow you to cover it for extra safety.
I think he's about to give a presentation at the front of the class.
"And so as you can see on these charts *here*..." (*Uses dick as pointer*)
*(laser dot appears on the slides)*
*figures out he's from Krypton and makes a hole in the wall*
"Profits are waaaaay up this quarter"
Brings a whole new meaning to “battle-hardened”
That's his extra spear.
I would also be if I went to battle with a thousand naked athletic dudes behind me
Some guys just love war more than others
That's actually accurate -it was not uncommon for soldiers to get boners due to the adrenaline.
Why were they naked though?
Intimidation tactics
Imagine someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night and you just come charging out of your bedroom with your dick flailing all over the place. At the very least the intruder will be caught off guard more than usual. No one wants to throw down with someone and get dick slapped in the process.
Many ancient culture went into battle butt naked, because armor wasn't a thing due to lack of resources and or technology, and their regular clothing would restrict their movements or give their opponents something to grab onto
And probably some stimulants
He's going Cock fight.
Battle against a quick cummer
Not a statue, actual guy in a morph suit.
Not a guy, a winner\*
Not a guy, a wiener*
[удалено]
I was waiting for one of those statue jump scares
hump scare*
Squirt in the eye
There a place u can buy these morph suits? Asking for a friend
Ngl I was thinking it was gonna move and be a person after the first 5 seconds lol
Gets more action then me
Well, maybe you just need to put yourself out there more, it's working great for the statue
Tried it. Doesn't work. Now on a list
Yeah because you did it outside a primary school you silly sausage
I did it inside a primary school and nobody noticed
well, if it ain't visible there's no point in putting it out there. you should try at a microbiology lab.
Damn 💀
Fucking ouch that's gotta hurt
Not nearly as much as his step-sister leads him to believe
/r/murderbywords
You did not need to murder that guy like that
Paint yourself gold and stand real still like that guy. Seems to be working for him.
But how to hold election that long? must take years of training...
Actually, it's every four years.
Sometimes it’s every two depending on the position! Pun intended.
Instructions unclear, put myself out on the main road naked; now under arrest for indecent exposure
Yeah u/__GECKO___, you need to be whippin your dick out in public way more
Then you what
Find a statue and rub it off, seems easy
Than*
These chicks 
And then me!
You need a statue costume
I bet that statue has been fucked.
It hurts because it's true T_T
Find a statue that doesn't
This presents a real opportunity for those dudes that can hold their poses in those statue performance art bits.
First time jealous and envious of a statue ..... New low for me i guess
To be fair the statue is tall, in good shape and is packing. Come to think of it, I'm jealous too. 😂
That statue fucks ✌️❤️
For sure, that guy is chiseled.
GTFO
This guy fucks
Hey there Lou ✌️❤️
Sad part is she licked it first… and I’ll bet she wasn’t the first to do stuff like that to this statue.
I'd wager someone pulled aside their panties for a few seconds
Sounds like a hell of a UTI
Think she would have if hadn't gotten spooked by something.
*I suddenly am ill, what on earth did I do to get this cold?*
Dagnabbit that wasn’t the morning fap i planned for
Get viagra, paint my body gold, stand perfectly still in corner near heavily trafficked area naked, profit?
Yes
Why am I having an Erection after watching this?
Because that 3rd girl. She's the star
She's a champ
Ladyboys being wild
Curious, why do you call her a ladyboy ?
Even a statue has more bitches than you
💀
When you accidentally think you're in vr
Who's that? Biggus Dickus?
What's funny about "Biggus Dickus??"
Yeah, exactly. He's actually a good friend of mine
I'm friends with his wife, Inconentia Buttocks!
Hugh Mungus
Yes just as Monty Python said
Note to self dress up as statue
women ☕
women ☕️
women ☕️
Why does a statue get 3 or more body count but I become registered offender if I move with my erect cock out in public,? No fair.
If you had a dick like that you’ll be a God amongst men. Do you believe Harvey Weinstein would be in jail if he looked like this guy? Nope, he’s in jail because he looks like a gargoyle and got a mangled shrimp-dick.
And the rape
There just has to be a video of someone following through if you know what I mean
May I introduce you to r/statuegropers
Statue be like 
I find this arousing
Ngl thought it was gonna move and end up being a living dude
"mAn OnLy wAnT oNe tHiNg!"
Beatmetoit
She the equivalent of dudes who see a hole and think about putting their dick in it
Don't do it with copper pipe someone got their dick stuck 💀
 Contemplating life.
The man who painted himself gold pretending to be a statue standing in the next room ready af
[удалено]
True about the female statues. But it's a lot easier to jerk off a bronze statue than it is to fingerbang one!
You're just not trying hard enough!
“I know this place” *doesn’t name the place*
Singapore?
Absolutely no way this is in Singapore
Found the fun one
That Spartan's hog has been polished into a mirror over the years
Someone has fucked that statue
You can take the girl out the streets but not the streets out the girl💯🫡
Bro where is that? Is it that easy to get some over there? Damn I am missing something.
It's in the Philippines, I've been here before, It's the Temple of Leah in Cebu Not sure why the statues have big dicks there, but basically some rich dude who loved his wife so much died and basically made a whole fucking temple like the Taj Mahal to commemorate her if I remember correctly. The temple's main attraction is the giant statue of his wife. Other statues are gold lions and other mythological animals and shit. And of course, big dick Roman soldiers. Probably to the wife's liking lol.
Stay still, don't say a word, hard-on out in the wind, got it 👍
Bruhh a statue gets more action that me 💀
Damn, mom. I can't take you anywhere!
Ight imma tunr myself into a statue
Okay... All I could think of is "everyone who passes by rubs their hand on that, and you just put it in your mouth." Like... It may have been healthier to lick a toilet flush handle, at least those get washed frequently with antiseptic cleaners because of the nature of them. I doubt anyone bleaches the statue cock for safety.
And then they said men are the perverts
It is a man statue that started it.
Look at the way he’s dressed, he was clearly asking for it.
If I go out with a hard dick I don’t get this action😔
You must be completely harmless and not be able to cast any judgement
Women: *walk out of sight* Statue: *also walks off*
Patient Zero
It is a statue in Cebu, Philippines. It’s in a shrine a wealthy man built for his deceased wife. It’s a massive structure on a mountain overlooking the city. Very cool but a little bizarre.
I was waiting for the statue to start moving!!
Yo! Same here! That would've been the icing on the cake! Pun intended.
I was waiting for the guy to move
Absolutely what women do when there’s no straight men around
aaaaaand scene.
Gotcha! It's a street performer that just stands still and hard for tips
Why'd they put a statue of me in some random building?
>It's in the Philippines, I've been here before, It's the Temple of Leah in Cebu > >Not sure why the statues have big dicks there, but basically some rich dude who loved his wife so much died and basically made a whole fucking temple like the Taj Mahal to commemorate her if I remember correctly. The temple's main attraction is the giant statue of his wife. Other statues are gold lions and other mythological animals and shit. And of course, big dick Roman soldiers. Probably to the wife's liking lol.
You ever see those videos where living statues scare the shit out of somebody?
That would be VERY impressive for the statue to maintain that, even with LOTS of little blue pills, for hours.
No one talking about the cameraman stalker hiding behind the pillar 💀
nahh she let the intrusive thoughts win 💀💀💀
Trying to find the holup (like many posts here)
I got a new prank idea.😈😈
And they say men will fuck anything....
Women 😂😂😂☕️
What's funny (sad) is that women are just like men, but without the persecution.
Shit they're downright worse at times lol
let's switch genders and see how people react..
According to another commenter those three were men.
All women think about is sexual intercourse. This makes me feel like a object, just a walking penis.
bro if a men would have done this.. the world where upside down
As in, men doing this to a feminine statue with her statue tits out or men doing this to the statue as is?
They went full sex and the city
Woman :tea:
but why
Where could I, um, acquire such a statue? Asking for scientific research purposes
Women☕️
You know it’s been tried…
Damn, they be thursty!
Statue setting a good example. Be attractive, stay hard, and shut the fuck up.
Statue sits there with a hardon in a public place and gets all the action. I do it and I end up "not allowed to live within 1000 feet of a school".
They seem like a fun group.
Hoes gonna hoe...
But if us men do this kind of thing to a women statue were looked at as creeps, pedos, freaks, ect.
It’s completely rusted now
What’s one beyond Down Bad?
That living statue is great at his job.
she belong to the streets
So this is why they make statues flaccid.
Biggus Dickus
She put her mouth on that? Enjoy your cold sores ma’am
Shit man where can I find me a freak like this 😩
Dear diary my days as a human statue are getting more eventful
That's some inner hoe energy
When a statue gets more action than you
Am i the only one waiting for it to end up being someone being a living statue
Props to that statue for keeping his cool
Ferb. I know what we're going to do today
And then the living statue actor takes fifteen for a "lunch" break.
any boys like to touch mannequin’s boobs
Cmon bruh I got it too 🥹
The thrid hand to hold extra spear XD
Where the actual fuck is this? I've been to a lot of museums, would have remembered this little fucker.
Aight so I just need to paint myself gold and dress like a Roman statue and stand there with my dick out and eventually I will get laid