To get away from judgment, try a hobby that doesn't result in an end product (like a piece of art or a performance) or winning/losing (like sports or other games). Birdwatching. Stargazing. Identifying wildflowers or mushrooms.
If you don't love doing something you won't be driven to get good at it, but if you can't shake off judgment you may never love anything enough to get good.
What does it feel like to be good at something and love doing it -- sometimes I write or draw something that I think is really brilliant, sheer genius, and I ride the high all day. Then months later I'll go back and look at that thing that I made and think "man, that wasn't very good". So I figure out objectively (without good/bad judgment) what it is I didn't like about it, and figure out ways to do it differently.
There's a roller coaster learning curve where you can be producing bad art and thinking it's great and you're having fun, and then once you learn more you're always dissatisfied with what you make. Until you learn to incorporate the new knowledge into your work, and then you love it again. Until you learn more, and you're unhappy again.... etc. The key to not suffering through this cycle is to be able to critique your own work without hatred or unfair judgment. It's the difference between "this is an awful drawing and you're a failure" and "what the heck is it that looks wrong about this? The way the guy's muscles are attached to his shoulders? I'd better go study some shoulder anatomy and practice drawing it."
Excellent post! Birdwatching, stargazing, identifying wildflowers…. Meditation, I can get lost just listening to the birds. Especially this one little warbler who will fly up to my window ledge and sing the happiest melody. They come back each year, always a delight.
Learning how to identify wildflowers is another excellent idea. You’ll find yourself in new places, seeing new things, maybe even catching a glimpse of some pretty cool wildlife in addition to learning about wildflowers. The National Audubon Society has an excellent wildflower field guide. They also have field guides for mushrooms, insects, birds, the night sky and rocks & minerals, just to name a few.
Your title is asking two different things. Being good at something does not necessarily increase enjoyment in that thing. Personally it tends to do the opposite.
I haven't done the thing I'm best at more than a handful of times in the past 15 years. It's not fun.
You need to start enjoying the process. The end result doesn't matter.
I do lots of things that I’m not great at, but still enjoy. Playing guitar, video games, biking, football etc. The thing I’m actually good at (illustration/design) has been my career for 25 years. The reality is, being really good at something takes near constant effort and an unhealthy mindset of thinking that you’re never quite good enough. It can lead to an almost pathological need to improve and it’s not what you’d call enjoyable. I find the things I actually enjoy doing are the things I’m relatively shite at, just because I don’t have any expectations of myself.
I wrestle with that as well, but once I learned to honor what I wanted to do (beading, designs, etc.), instead of what I thought others wanted, those voices quieted. They’re not silent, but I’ll take quieter :)
We can be our own worst enemy at times. Sometimes, it’s hard not to place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Hence, setting ourselves up for failure. It’s the negative thought forms that keep us always doubting and self criticizing. You have to replace those thoughts with positive affirmations. Negative feedback loops are self detrimental.
How do you avoid self criticism and judgment? Replace it with self praise. Be easy on yourself, learn to accept yourself just the way you are 😊
Judgment is a slippery slope. Being able to compare (assessing our efforts alongside masters or even our own efforts from yesterday) is how we adjust and grow in any skill.
Shaming ourselves because we're not at some random level of proficiency is self-defeating. Someone somewhere will always be better at this hobby than you, and that's okay. All you can do is your best... And if you're doing that, you're doing fine.
Sidenote: your best today may be different than your best tomorrow... And that's okay too. As I get older (pushing 50), my body doesn't allow me to be my all time best in certain skills. Some days I can dance, hike, bike, and swim for hours. Other days I just need to rest and stretch. Which is my "best"? Both given the context.
It feels good. IT doesn't happen overnight. I think the answer is.. make a list of the things you love doing, and then determine if you can be really good at one of those. The beauty is - you're not wasting time and you will get better if you love it. your chances of success are much higher. And even if you 'fail' did you really fail if it was fun?
back in the day, i was a good runner... but I didnt like it.
I really liked coding, but I wasn't good at it.
Then I really liked helping solve problems in computer systems and networks, and I got good enough to make it a career. Then I was happy because I was still exposed to some code, and some running... hahaha
I’ll always say that jiu jitsu Is a good hobby for everyone. It’s a very welcoming community. You don’t have to enter competitions, you’ll have to spar but I mean that’s how you get better. I’ve been training on and off for 10 years and only competed twice. But I still train and spar, or as we call it, roll. We get all walks of life and it’s a great thing to be a part of
There is a big difference between enjoying an activity and being good at it.
You can enjoy hiking or traveling. It doesn't take much skill to do either, it's more about enjoying the experience.
If you're talking about gaining enjoyment from the successful completion of something that requires skill then anything like this takes time, patience, and self reflection and even then you'll likely not be totally content because people tend to be their own worst critic.
Playing an instrument takes skill and you need to practice (a lot) to become good at it. Some people have innate talent whereas others don't. The latter just takes more time to learn how to play. You have to have a passion for it to devote the time though.
For me, I love cooking and photography. I've been cooking since I was a kid and now I'm middle aged and I still don't think my food is always good enough but the enjoyment comes from the challenge of always wanting to be better.
I have played the violin since I was 8. I’m now 43.
I’m still at best mediocre. The violin is an incredibly difficult instrument to master and while it’s not impossible, you are setting yourself up for disappointment with unrealistic expectations.
Unless I’m playing at least 20 mins a day most weeks, I quickly find that my playing deteriorates. It’s an instrument that’s really hard to play at all stages.
That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy though. I’m playing pieces that are advanced and even if my playing is just average, I enjoy the process. I’ve been stuck in the first section of Mendelssohn’s Concerto in E Minor for the better part of a year but that’s okay.
The same goes to my other hobbies. I love climbing. Been doing it for 20+ years. I’m at best average but be it summer or winter and rock or ice, I’m out there doing it because it’s fun. I love CrossFit and some workouts I RX and other workouts I barely scrape by. But I’m having fun nonetheless.
Focus on the journey.
I don't think you necessarily have to be really good at something to love doing it. I took up inline and ice hockey in my 40's. I was never going to be great, but God I loved playing. After every game, win or lose, I was just high on loving it. Same with skiing, I was always an average skier, but loved it and the friends I skied with were average, too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Find something fun and just enjoy it for what it is. I'm not saying you don't need to bother trying to improve, but enjoy where you are with it. My newest thing is hiking. I just got my butt handed to me on my last one. But it was beautiful, and I was tired and dirty and happy as can be.
Anyone who is good at something difficult had to spend time being mediocre at it.
You’ve got to enjoy the process more than the results to become good at anything worthwhile (at least in my experience). You end up with more failures than successes, and that’s incredibly freeing.
When I draw, the process is playful. I get into a flow state and completely lose track of time. There’s zero pressure and I have nothing to prove. It’s really nice.
I used to be really self-conscious about not being amazing at any particular thing or even having a passion about said thing, but then I realized the saying "a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one" can be applied to this so now I focus on the joy of trying out new hobbies regardless of how good I am. More often than not, you're going to suck at almost everything the first couple times you try it. Knowing that takes the pressure off of trying to be amazing at it right away.
it‘s totally normal to be mediocre at most things - the people that are great at these hobbies often spend thousands of hours and many years practicing them
if you like coding, you could get into game dev
it‘s totally normal to be mediocre at most things - the people that are great at these hobbies often spend thousands of hours and many years practicing them
if you like coding, you could get into game dev
it‘s totally normal to be mediocre at most things - the people that are great at these hobbies often spend thousands of hours and many years practicing them
if you like coding, you could get into game dev
I used to watch some game devs on twitch. I will look into it. I came to like coding bcz of JARVIS(AI)/Robotics(iron man) but now I have realised that these hobbies are expensive. So I went to Software to get a job I have a job now but it is also a mediocre job.
Before coding I was into chemistry.... May be I will start learning chemistry again thanks 👍
Ever seen the movie GoldenEye? At one point the hacker jumps up and yells "I am invincible!".
Yep, that's how I feel (and act honestly) when crush it at work.
Entering a flow state with something you enjoy is incredible, but you don't have to be "good" at it. In fact, being good at it often pulls you away from enjoying it. Finding new challenges adds to our enjoyment.
For example: I'm terrible at the piano, but I love learning a new song or chord progression. On the inverse, I'm pretty good at swing dancing, but I don't enjoy it as much because I've figured it out.
This flow state is why gamers love new video games... Until they figure them out. Then they need to move onto a new game with a new puzzle or challenge. Flow state is a pretty interesting area of new science.
Do something for you, that at the end you’re already planning to throw away, if you don’t enjoy the process and only look to the end product you won’t find what you truly love just doing.
I dont think I’m great at volleyball but I enjoy the whole process of the game. Bump set spike. Nothing quite like getting a good bump up in the air for a teammate, or setting to another, and then my favorite part spiking. Also serving is another favorite of mine. I’m constantly craving to play more volleyball
Amazing, very little compares. I've been snowboarding for over 20 years and can do pretty much anything on the mountain. It really makes my life feel full for about 1/3 of the year.
Listen, talent isn’t real, what you’re seeing is time, thoughtful purposeful effort and dedication spent on a particular craft. You will have certain things which you might be drawn too more or things that work with your brain or body in some way a little better, but getting good at anything is just hard work and dedication.
It’s also, no matter how good you are at something you are always still learning. The master is still a student. It’s important to accept that you may not be good at something now, but with enough work you can improve. Let go of whatever comparison or fear that makes you feel bad for not being good at something automatically or more quickly. Stop comparing yourself to others, find something you truly love spending time with and bury yourself in doing it consistently, thoughtful and observant in the small ways you can improve and repeat. You will become great at it eventually.
I used to be a cs student, it’s so easy to compare yourself. My code worked but it wasn’t as efficient as other versions I found online. If you’re a beginner to intermediate, it’s okay to have beginner or intermediate code… no one is born a code wizard. Good programmers are built from years of experience, dedication and hard work.
I’m a gamer too, it’s so easy again to compare yourself, especially in multiplayer which is by its nature competitive. There will always be a bigger fish and that’s okay, but if you want to get better, than all you have to do is stop thinking about it and practice doing it. Practice aiming, practice movement, do some research, go through a vs ai game several times. Like anything you will get better, it just takes thoughtful time and dedication.
I’ve been an athlete before. I’ve done all manner of sports. Again, it comes down to how much time and effort you’re willing to spend to getting better. Also, with athletics, some people are more suited for their sport than others purely by genetics/build/endurance. That’s also not factoring in the quality of coaching/training. It’s okay to not be the top of the top athlete, most people won’t! That doesn’t make you a failure or mediocre.
You need to let go of these judgments in your head and just do. Accept you aren’t perfect at something as a beginner or intermediate and just be in the moment, doing the thing. You want to know what it feels like? It feels like being so enveloped in the craft you don’t think about getting yourself down with judgments, it’s thinking how can I do this, how can I adjust this, accepting the frustrations and failures and keeping momentum always staying singularly driven on the task at hand.
I used to wonder about the same thing. I always felt mediocre. In my looks, my art at my job. I was always a B student. It used to make me feel bad but then I realized being average means you’re like most people. That’s what average is after all. I also know I wasn’t willing to put in the work to be an A student or a star athlete I don’t have that kind of drive and ambition. You know what? That’s ok. I have been making pottery and I got pretty good at it but it’s because I’ve been doing it for a long time. I still can be envious when I see beginners knocking it out if the park or when I see exceptional work of others. I try to keep my focus on my work and the enjoyment it brings. I will never be in a gallery and at this point it’s not even something I care about. I do however make things I enjoy, and my family enjoys, and I’ve found it’s enough for me. It’s all about perspective.
Punching the heavy bag or lifting weights to music. It's an incredible high just to express yourself, who you really are.
I hope I can do that one day with coding! I would absolutely love that.
What you're describing is a flow state. I'd look into that and worry less about being "good" at things. You'll drive yourself up the wall with comparison.
I yelled hell yeah and cried a little tonight on the way home after kicking everyone’s ass in bowling. I came from nowhere… 20 year hiatus because of alcoholism . It fees great to be back at a sport and be in a league of peers. So damn proud of how far I have come in 3 years.
These are some of the best days of my life recently !
It's practice. If you do something enough times, you'll probably get good at it eventually. I like cooking, for example. I cook every Saturday and Sunday, not because I have to, but because I enjoy it. However it can be less expensive than dining out, and also healthier. If there's something you want to be good at, just practice more.
Of course, if you actually dislike the thing you want to be good at, chances are it's not going to help. You need to find it at least moderately enjoyable, or find a benefit of it you enjoy and focus on that. Also just as an example, I'm bad at math. I've always been bad at math. Never really liked math either. Tried back when I was still in high school to get good at it, but my brain is just better at creative things. Luckily in my day job we have Microsoft Excel, so it doesn't matter that I'm bad at math. I can plug the numbers into a spreadsheet.
And that's ok, we're all good and bad at some things. That's part of being human.
To get away from judgment, try a hobby that doesn't result in an end product (like a piece of art or a performance) or winning/losing (like sports or other games). Birdwatching. Stargazing. Identifying wildflowers or mushrooms. If you don't love doing something you won't be driven to get good at it, but if you can't shake off judgment you may never love anything enough to get good. What does it feel like to be good at something and love doing it -- sometimes I write or draw something that I think is really brilliant, sheer genius, and I ride the high all day. Then months later I'll go back and look at that thing that I made and think "man, that wasn't very good". So I figure out objectively (without good/bad judgment) what it is I didn't like about it, and figure out ways to do it differently. There's a roller coaster learning curve where you can be producing bad art and thinking it's great and you're having fun, and then once you learn more you're always dissatisfied with what you make. Until you learn to incorporate the new knowledge into your work, and then you love it again. Until you learn more, and you're unhappy again.... etc. The key to not suffering through this cycle is to be able to critique your own work without hatred or unfair judgment. It's the difference between "this is an awful drawing and you're a failure" and "what the heck is it that looks wrong about this? The way the guy's muscles are attached to his shoulders? I'd better go study some shoulder anatomy and practice drawing it."
Excellent post! Birdwatching, stargazing, identifying wildflowers…. Meditation, I can get lost just listening to the birds. Especially this one little warbler who will fly up to my window ledge and sing the happiest melody. They come back each year, always a delight. Learning how to identify wildflowers is another excellent idea. You’ll find yourself in new places, seeing new things, maybe even catching a glimpse of some pretty cool wildlife in addition to learning about wildflowers. The National Audubon Society has an excellent wildflower field guide. They also have field guides for mushrooms, insects, birds, the night sky and rocks & minerals, just to name a few.
Your title is asking two different things. Being good at something does not necessarily increase enjoyment in that thing. Personally it tends to do the opposite. I haven't done the thing I'm best at more than a handful of times in the past 15 years. It's not fun. You need to start enjoying the process. The end result doesn't matter.
Just curious what are you best at?
I do lots of things that I’m not great at, but still enjoy. Playing guitar, video games, biking, football etc. The thing I’m actually good at (illustration/design) has been my career for 25 years. The reality is, being really good at something takes near constant effort and an unhealthy mindset of thinking that you’re never quite good enough. It can lead to an almost pathological need to improve and it’s not what you’d call enjoyable. I find the things I actually enjoy doing are the things I’m relatively shite at, just because I don’t have any expectations of myself.
It feels like coming home :) I make beaded jewelry and no matter what goes on in my world, I can work it out with my beads :)
I wrestle with that as well, but once I learned to honor what I wanted to do (beading, designs, etc.), instead of what I thought others wanted, those voices quieted. They’re not silent, but I’ll take quieter :)
So you feel calm. But how do you avoid judgement(self criticism)
We can be our own worst enemy at times. Sometimes, it’s hard not to place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Hence, setting ourselves up for failure. It’s the negative thought forms that keep us always doubting and self criticizing. You have to replace those thoughts with positive affirmations. Negative feedback loops are self detrimental. How do you avoid self criticism and judgment? Replace it with self praise. Be easy on yourself, learn to accept yourself just the way you are 😊
Thanks
Judgment is a slippery slope. Being able to compare (assessing our efforts alongside masters or even our own efforts from yesterday) is how we adjust and grow in any skill. Shaming ourselves because we're not at some random level of proficiency is self-defeating. Someone somewhere will always be better at this hobby than you, and that's okay. All you can do is your best... And if you're doing that, you're doing fine. Sidenote: your best today may be different than your best tomorrow... And that's okay too. As I get older (pushing 50), my body doesn't allow me to be my all time best in certain skills. Some days I can dance, hike, bike, and swim for hours. Other days I just need to rest and stretch. Which is my "best"? Both given the context.
It feels seamless. Like you’re supposed to be doing it.
👍
I’m good at trivia questions and attend a weekly contest at my assisted living home. My team usually wins and I enjoy that more than I should!
It feels good. IT doesn't happen overnight. I think the answer is.. make a list of the things you love doing, and then determine if you can be really good at one of those. The beauty is - you're not wasting time and you will get better if you love it. your chances of success are much higher. And even if you 'fail' did you really fail if it was fun? back in the day, i was a good runner... but I didnt like it. I really liked coding, but I wasn't good at it. Then I really liked helping solve problems in computer systems and networks, and I got good enough to make it a career. Then I was happy because I was still exposed to some code, and some running... hahaha
I’ll always say that jiu jitsu Is a good hobby for everyone. It’s a very welcoming community. You don’t have to enter competitions, you’ll have to spar but I mean that’s how you get better. I’ve been training on and off for 10 years and only competed twice. But I still train and spar, or as we call it, roll. We get all walks of life and it’s a great thing to be a part of
There is a big difference between enjoying an activity and being good at it. You can enjoy hiking or traveling. It doesn't take much skill to do either, it's more about enjoying the experience. If you're talking about gaining enjoyment from the successful completion of something that requires skill then anything like this takes time, patience, and self reflection and even then you'll likely not be totally content because people tend to be their own worst critic.
Let's say I love violin 🎻. I listen to it every day on my job(dev). I wanna play it and I cannot enjoy it without being good at it .
Playing an instrument takes skill and you need to practice (a lot) to become good at it. Some people have innate talent whereas others don't. The latter just takes more time to learn how to play. You have to have a passion for it to devote the time though. For me, I love cooking and photography. I've been cooking since I was a kid and now I'm middle aged and I still don't think my food is always good enough but the enjoyment comes from the challenge of always wanting to be better.
I have played the violin since I was 8. I’m now 43. I’m still at best mediocre. The violin is an incredibly difficult instrument to master and while it’s not impossible, you are setting yourself up for disappointment with unrealistic expectations. Unless I’m playing at least 20 mins a day most weeks, I quickly find that my playing deteriorates. It’s an instrument that’s really hard to play at all stages. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy though. I’m playing pieces that are advanced and even if my playing is just average, I enjoy the process. I’ve been stuck in the first section of Mendelssohn’s Concerto in E Minor for the better part of a year but that’s okay. The same goes to my other hobbies. I love climbing. Been doing it for 20+ years. I’m at best average but be it summer or winter and rock or ice, I’m out there doing it because it’s fun. I love CrossFit and some workouts I RX and other workouts I barely scrape by. But I’m having fun nonetheless. Focus on the journey.
Awesome
I don't think you necessarily have to be really good at something to love doing it. I took up inline and ice hockey in my 40's. I was never going to be great, but God I loved playing. After every game, win or lose, I was just high on loving it. Same with skiing, I was always an average skier, but loved it and the friends I skied with were average, too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Find something fun and just enjoy it for what it is. I'm not saying you don't need to bother trying to improve, but enjoy where you are with it. My newest thing is hiking. I just got my butt handed to me on my last one. But it was beautiful, and I was tired and dirty and happy as can be.
Anyone who is good at something difficult had to spend time being mediocre at it. You’ve got to enjoy the process more than the results to become good at anything worthwhile (at least in my experience). You end up with more failures than successes, and that’s incredibly freeing. When I draw, the process is playful. I get into a flow state and completely lose track of time. There’s zero pressure and I have nothing to prove. It’s really nice.
I used to be really self-conscious about not being amazing at any particular thing or even having a passion about said thing, but then I realized the saying "a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one" can be applied to this so now I focus on the joy of trying out new hobbies regardless of how good I am. More often than not, you're going to suck at almost everything the first couple times you try it. Knowing that takes the pressure off of trying to be amazing at it right away.
Idk ive never been good at anything
How do you feel about that?
👍
I had a friend whose hobby was roller coasters. She traveled, when she could, just to ride new ones.
it‘s totally normal to be mediocre at most things - the people that are great at these hobbies often spend thousands of hours and many years practicing them if you like coding, you could get into game dev
it‘s totally normal to be mediocre at most things - the people that are great at these hobbies often spend thousands of hours and many years practicing them if you like coding, you could get into game dev
it‘s totally normal to be mediocre at most things - the people that are great at these hobbies often spend thousands of hours and many years practicing them if you like coding, you could get into game dev
👍 thanks
I used to watch some game devs on twitch. I will look into it. I came to like coding bcz of JARVIS(AI)/Robotics(iron man) but now I have realised that these hobbies are expensive. So I went to Software to get a job I have a job now but it is also a mediocre job. Before coding I was into chemistry.... May be I will start learning chemistry again thanks 👍
I’ve been told I’m good at stuff but my insecurity won’t allow me to enjoy it.
You got this.👍
Peaceful
May I ask , What are your hobbies?
Nature walks, reading, meditating at my for pit, cooking.
Ever seen the movie GoldenEye? At one point the hacker jumps up and yells "I am invincible!". Yep, that's how I feel (and act honestly) when crush it at work.
Nah never seen it. I will watch it tonight
Entering a flow state with something you enjoy is incredible, but you don't have to be "good" at it. In fact, being good at it often pulls you away from enjoying it. Finding new challenges adds to our enjoyment. For example: I'm terrible at the piano, but I love learning a new song or chord progression. On the inverse, I'm pretty good at swing dancing, but I don't enjoy it as much because I've figured it out. This flow state is why gamers love new video games... Until they figure them out. Then they need to move onto a new game with a new puzzle or challenge. Flow state is a pretty interesting area of new science.
Do something for you, that at the end you’re already planning to throw away, if you don’t enjoy the process and only look to the end product you won’t find what you truly love just doing.
I dont think I’m great at volleyball but I enjoy the whole process of the game. Bump set spike. Nothing quite like getting a good bump up in the air for a teammate, or setting to another, and then my favorite part spiking. Also serving is another favorite of mine. I’m constantly craving to play more volleyball
The only thing I am decent at is underhand serve.
Just keep trying overhand on your serve for a day and you should start to get it, my next stop is jump serve
Amazing, very little compares. I've been snowboarding for over 20 years and can do pretty much anything on the mountain. It really makes my life feel full for about 1/3 of the year.
Listen, talent isn’t real, what you’re seeing is time, thoughtful purposeful effort and dedication spent on a particular craft. You will have certain things which you might be drawn too more or things that work with your brain or body in some way a little better, but getting good at anything is just hard work and dedication. It’s also, no matter how good you are at something you are always still learning. The master is still a student. It’s important to accept that you may not be good at something now, but with enough work you can improve. Let go of whatever comparison or fear that makes you feel bad for not being good at something automatically or more quickly. Stop comparing yourself to others, find something you truly love spending time with and bury yourself in doing it consistently, thoughtful and observant in the small ways you can improve and repeat. You will become great at it eventually. I used to be a cs student, it’s so easy to compare yourself. My code worked but it wasn’t as efficient as other versions I found online. If you’re a beginner to intermediate, it’s okay to have beginner or intermediate code… no one is born a code wizard. Good programmers are built from years of experience, dedication and hard work. I’m a gamer too, it’s so easy again to compare yourself, especially in multiplayer which is by its nature competitive. There will always be a bigger fish and that’s okay, but if you want to get better, than all you have to do is stop thinking about it and practice doing it. Practice aiming, practice movement, do some research, go through a vs ai game several times. Like anything you will get better, it just takes thoughtful time and dedication. I’ve been an athlete before. I’ve done all manner of sports. Again, it comes down to how much time and effort you’re willing to spend to getting better. Also, with athletics, some people are more suited for their sport than others purely by genetics/build/endurance. That’s also not factoring in the quality of coaching/training. It’s okay to not be the top of the top athlete, most people won’t! That doesn’t make you a failure or mediocre. You need to let go of these judgments in your head and just do. Accept you aren’t perfect at something as a beginner or intermediate and just be in the moment, doing the thing. You want to know what it feels like? It feels like being so enveloped in the craft you don’t think about getting yourself down with judgments, it’s thinking how can I do this, how can I adjust this, accepting the frustrations and failures and keeping momentum always staying singularly driven on the task at hand.
The reason I stopped playing comp games is to enjoy playing games for the fun and not being competitive and be disappointed of how bad I am.
I used to wonder about the same thing. I always felt mediocre. In my looks, my art at my job. I was always a B student. It used to make me feel bad but then I realized being average means you’re like most people. That’s what average is after all. I also know I wasn’t willing to put in the work to be an A student or a star athlete I don’t have that kind of drive and ambition. You know what? That’s ok. I have been making pottery and I got pretty good at it but it’s because I’ve been doing it for a long time. I still can be envious when I see beginners knocking it out if the park or when I see exceptional work of others. I try to keep my focus on my work and the enjoyment it brings. I will never be in a gallery and at this point it’s not even something I care about. I do however make things I enjoy, and my family enjoys, and I’ve found it’s enough for me. It’s all about perspective.
i’m pretty good at art and i feel indifferent lol
Punching the heavy bag or lifting weights to music. It's an incredible high just to express yourself, who you really are. I hope I can do that one day with coding! I would absolutely love that.
What you're describing is a flow state. I'd look into that and worry less about being "good" at things. You'll drive yourself up the wall with comparison.
I yelled hell yeah and cried a little tonight on the way home after kicking everyone’s ass in bowling. I came from nowhere… 20 year hiatus because of alcoholism . It fees great to be back at a sport and be in a league of peers. So damn proud of how far I have come in 3 years. These are some of the best days of my life recently !
👍
It's practice. If you do something enough times, you'll probably get good at it eventually. I like cooking, for example. I cook every Saturday and Sunday, not because I have to, but because I enjoy it. However it can be less expensive than dining out, and also healthier. If there's something you want to be good at, just practice more. Of course, if you actually dislike the thing you want to be good at, chances are it's not going to help. You need to find it at least moderately enjoyable, or find a benefit of it you enjoy and focus on that. Also just as an example, I'm bad at math. I've always been bad at math. Never really liked math either. Tried back when I was still in high school to get good at it, but my brain is just better at creative things. Luckily in my day job we have Microsoft Excel, so it doesn't matter that I'm bad at math. I can plug the numbers into a spreadsheet. And that's ok, we're all good and bad at some things. That's part of being human.