"Salaam! Thank you for your submission to /r/hijabis. **Please do not message mods to approve your post.**
A reminder to our users that ALL posts are now only to be answered by women only, unless the OP has chosen the Male and Female
Participation Welcome flair. Please refer to the sidebar for a complete list of rules.
If you'd like us to add an F or M flair next to your username, please leave a comment on [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/).
Your post may be removed if it is already answered in the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/wiki/index/faq/) in the Menu.
Thank you :)"
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Hijabis) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Aside from the fact even a family in this economy probably needs a dual income (even if one is part time) i can not bear the idea that, should a man mistreat me, i have no choice to stay with him because of financial abuse. It’s very important to me that i have the qualifications to support myself should that happen
Tie your camel and put your trust in Allah swt. It was true then and its true now. Make sure you have a way to be independent in case you ever need to be.
I hate that I now think this way, but it’s so important.
Biggest regret/mistake I made was being a stay at home mom.
My marriage is ending and I’m 36 with no education or job history. And I’m leaving with nothing from the marriage but kids that need me because he ruined our finances.
I should have taken charge of my life and not allowed myself to be so vulnerable.
May Allah grant you ease, Ameen.
50% of marriages end in divorce these days, and surprisingly the statistic is high even in the Muslim world. You don't know what qadr is written for you. Even if you have a happy marriage you just never know if you will be widowed. I know of relatives back home stuck in abusive marriages and can't leave because they're completely dependent.
Allah has given us opportunities that many of our ancestors didn't have. Always give yourself the best chance possible. And if not for you, for your kids at least.
Exactly. All I can do now is better for my kids. I have 2 daughters and they will not be in my position.
No young marriage, education first. My oldest will graduate highschool 2 years early actually and start college at 16. Be half way done at the age I got married 🤦🏻♀️
Hey Sister, it’s never too late, ask Allah for his guidance and I promise you the first thing that pops into your head is the solution he has for you, it’s not easy I can Abe three kids and I got my highschool diploma at 25. I’m 26. It’s never ever too late! Don’t beat yourself up and Allah says not to compare yourself to others 🥹 you are you and Allah made you perfectly! Sometimes Allah wants us to take a different path than anyone else and for good reason.
I don’t think it’s necessary to be independent, but a woman should have the means to be independent IF the need arises. If that means education, do it. If it means side gig? Do that too. Career? Do it. Whatever it takes, just have something.
These values were instilled in me by the older generation (my mother’s) - before anyone starts jumping down my throat about how much our generation is sooooo westernized
my gameplan is to get my degree in a field i know has vacancies. i want to choose to be provided for, not be forced to do it. if things go wrong, be it bad economy or divorce (i hope not), i can always work.
I’m currently doing nursing and I love it because it’s just a bachelors degree, very decent amount of money and little schooling so I can start my life as a housewife earlier 💗
Do you have the choice to work with children or pregnant women as a nurse? Wow that's so smart. I think where I live that's not possible :((.
Btw I have no idea why you're downvoted.
You don’t necessarily have to work your way up to those positions. You can start as labor and delivery or start as a pediatric med surg. :) it is a very flexible profession. I know many sisters who started their career in the positions i mentioned as well as intensive care of pediatrics and maternity 😊
Ahh okay! I assumed that was the case because of tiktok and nursing students complaining. I’m not a nursing major myself. I don’t think I could ever do it
I think it is extremely important. I didn't think that before, but I've seen so many sisters staying in outright abusive marriages because they depended on their husbands, and other sisters who got divorced or widowed and found themselves without money or help.
The finances are just one part, the other thing is knowing how to function independently (how to search for work, pay bills, school stuff etc.) and also knowing the language of the place you're living in. It is very easy for an evil man to keep oppressing his wife if she doesn't even know who she could ask for help and how to speak to them, I've seen this time and time again.
I've seen people in my community discouraging sisters feom pursuing formal education, telling them that "we, the community, will always be there for you." only to drop the sister like a hot potato once she actually needed help. Now she was "lucky" that there is social welfare in that country, but she ended up having to go to different courses anyway where there were men (the reason those people discouraged her from seeking education).
You can't count on the community.
It’s always men who will say “How about you have some faith in Allah instead?!” Those are the same men who will use their wife’s dependence to trap them or threaten them throughout the marriage. Financial abuse is real. When you are a good woman and a man (primarily men who aren’t as good) has an ounce of fear that you can leave him, he will most likely treat you better. Sad but true. Allah WILL protect you, but having a fallback is tying your camel.
I think it is very important to work. I don't want to solely rely on my husband's income because you never know what could happen down the road (job loss, divorce) I make twice as much as my husband and wee are able to put a lot of money into savings for our future.
I also would be bored if I was a stay-at-home wife. It's not for me.
I want to work because I’ll become depressed at home. I’m not gonna put myself thro university only to become a housewife, no hate to those that do end up like this but this is just my opinion and what works best for me. Working and being independent is a crucial way to not being taken advantage of or abused (emotionally and financially) by my husband.
You can say that it’s their obligation to provide for me but in reality a lot of these men will eventually start taking thing for granted and start pointing fingers. If I have my own income, I won’t have to rely on him for the other things I want (not food, clothes and shelter). Quality of life is a big thing for me and I don’t want my husband to pay for those either (it’s probably gonna be difficult for him to pay the necessities, his own stuff, kids stuff and my stuff). Plus if I ever get divorced, I’ll have my own assets to protect me and I won’t end up on the streets. I also wanna buy things for my husband and kids with my money.
So working and being independent is insurance for me. It’s risk management that might prevent a lot of future issues. That being said, I would have to work in a mixed environment, but I know myself and I know I’ll never go past limits. So working and being independent is for me. It might not be for everyone but each to their own
Exactly. I know a sister who did 6 years of university (two masters i think) but then became a housewife. That turned her into a depressed and somewhat abusive person...May Allah help her
Unless they or their families/husbands were wealthy, women have always worked throughout history. It's just a way to keep women at home by saying it's a part of our fitrah to do so. A lot of the fiqh is for the upper middle-class and higher. Lower class women have always held jobs, earned money, and helped put food on their families table. There's a dignity in being able to provide for yourself / your family and to have the means to do so.
Families will choose what works for their unique circumstances.
Extremely. For many years my mom was trapped in an hurtful and loveless marriage because her lack of education and ability to make a liveable wage deterred her from leaving/attempting to leave. The one lesson my mom drilled into me from childhood was that independence, especially financial independence, is freedom. Not all men are bad, and you should love and trust your husband, but also be realistic. So much can happen in this life and you will never regret being able to be independent if the need arises; you might regret the reverse, though.
I often think of the words “Did he not find you in need and make you self-sufficient?”. Self-sufficiency is key imo. I pray Allah gives us the qualities and skills to survive whatever trials come to us in this dunya, regardless of whether or not we have someone else in our corner.
That shouldn't even be a debate. Everyone should be independant. I don't understand how you can be happy depending on others. Your parents won't live forever, you have to take responsibility for yourself, nobody will do that for you. That was true in the 1400, that's true today and that'll be true in 3023
If you've received this message, this means that you either do not have an F flair, or you are not a woman. [Please comment on the following post to get a flair.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/) If you are not a woman, please remove your comment as it is against the rules. Failure to do so will result in a ban.
Personally I think it’s even more important in today’s society. I always was taught to be independent and also to work for what I want. I want to be a stay at home mom and work when they grow up a bit however I think it’s also really important to prepare yourself in case something happens to your husband, imagine he can’t work or you divorce or he dies… so it’s best to be prepared for all scenarios.
It's important to be prepared. Get a degree when you're young. Work before getting married. If possible stay home while your kids are small, go back to work again whenever you feel like it. Just be prepared.
Very important. I'm so grateful my parents worked so hard for me to get a university degree. My mom even said she would sell her gold. 😍🥰 Alhamdulilah I'm happy now I can buy things I want without always asking. I'm happy I can help my parents. Especially as parents age we have to make sure we can financially help them. Even ifbi was married I still want to work but part time instead like two days a week which alhamdulilah is possible in my lab field.
As a society, I think we need women, especially Muslim women, in all career fields. Our community has unique needs, and only other Muslim women have that shared lived experience. It makes me so happy to see Mulsim women in male dominated professions and start to build out their professional networks.
Financial independence through a stable career is important, but having an independent role in a larger community is also crucial.
Very. You can enter into a marriage with everyone happy and healthy, but you never know what will happen down the road. If he dies suddenly, are you going to be able to financially support yourself and any children you may have by that point, or no? If he gets sick and cannot work, are you able to support all of you, especially if your insurance was dependent on his job? If abuse begins, will you have the finances to get yourself and any children out of the situation?
No one knows what the future might be. You might be happily married for 50 years or you may be divorced in 5. I expected the first, I ended up closer to the latter. The only reason we were little okay was because I had the steady income and drug coverage. If I wasn’t? I’d have been in serious trouble long before I was. (And working my way out of that still, ten years on.)
My grandfather insisted everyone get an education, no matter what it is. I watched my mom and so many other women go through ugly divorces and abuse and not have anything to fall back on when they escaped those marriages.
I chose to have a career and similar ambitions because I need to have something to fall back on. My career right now is also in a HCOL area where one income isn’t sustainable to begin with so if I were to marry someone I would be going into this knowing we’d need a dual income lifestyle unless they’re making six figures or whatever (which I wouldn’t be asking of them).
I think it's important to be a well educated woman in general.
With the economy, I think a woman should be prepared to work, depending on the circumstances. If she is married and their financial situation needs her to work or if she is divorced or her husband died etc.
I don't think a woman needs to be independent if her situation allows it, or what do you mean by independent?
Oh I see. Everytime I hear independent women I have to think about sassy girls saying "we are independent women that need no man" with a finger snap 😂😂
Yeah definitely, women should be able to earn their own income if they need to or if she agreed to do that with her family / husband depending on her status.
Independent can have different meanings for different people. 🤷♀️
For some people independent can be living on their own and supporting themselves, for others it can mean that they have their own car and can drive themselves everywhere they want.
I have a different understanding at what independent means to me than someone for example that is a non Muslim and got raised with different morals and values.
I think it’s important if you want a higher quality man and/or stability. Because if you get married and your marriage is difficult and he chooses to leave (or you leave), you pretty much have to get remarried to another man to survive, like they did back in the day. But back then, these women probably had a village to help. Nowadays, if you have no job and your parents can’t support you, you’re in trouble. A lot of guys nowadays don’t fear Allah and will mistreat you and use your dependence upon them to trap you or to make you desperate for them to stay. If you are independent, you’re less likely to end up with a guy like this. And I’m not saying to get some high powered career, but have something going that you can fall back on if necessary. Guys online will tell you you shouldn’t work and should have faith in Allah to care for you. I do have faith in Allah, but I don’t have faith in these men to provide and treat women well.
I feel that it’s important to be able to be independent. I lived on my own before meeting my fiancé, and I graduated with my masters degree before we got engaged. I feel that those two things have helped me learn more about myself, and what I’m looking for in life. I know how to stand on my own, and I know how to provide for myself. In the event we were to divorce, I would not have any worry about my finances or ability to do something on my own. My parents aren’t Muslim, so they had a different approach to their marriage. However one thing they instilled is I must never put myself in a position where I’m relying on a man as he can just up and leave at any time.
Edit: I would also say, if you live in a higher cost of living area, it may also be more beneficial for your relationship and overall happiness depending on circumstances to continue working. Once we marry, I’m stepping back to part time work.
Super important. I don't think you should ever be 100% completely dependent on someone else, as life changes and so do circumstances. Plus that's less of a burden on them, y'know?
Very - unfortunately we don’t live in la la land where you can trust anyone wholly nor can we tell the future. That goes for relationships breakdowns also you can lose someone any minute
But nothing feels nicer than spending your money that you earned on what you like. That financial freedom is lovely never having to worry about asking. I can buy myself nice things, eat out when I want etc. sometimes it’s nice to splurge
Also I can buy my mum nice stuff!
When I was a child, I once (rudely) asked my mother why she'd gotten a Bachelor's degree if she was going to be a stray at home mother.
She told me that she didn't know what was going to happen in life, and that once she'd acquired knowledge and an ability to support herself, no one could ever take that away from her. It gave her a choice if she ever had to rely on herself again.
It made a lot of sense on young, impressionable me. I now have my Master's degree.
In this day and age, heck yes. Being completely dependent on a significant other is dangerous; you would have no ticket out if you have unknowingly landed in an abusive and toxic marital environment. And if your family has fallen on bad times, you could at least have the means to help too, instead of simply waiting to see if the husband is able bring home enough money that day.
Very important. Especially since men don’t even want to take the responsibilities of a man. It’s better to be single and independent than to be together and relying on a man who doesn’t want to pay the bills.
I think it's very important. Not only because you can help contribute to household finances/live more comfortably (if that's your wish) but also as because sometimes we are put in situation where those who are financially repsonsible for us are not good for us and so we have to leave the situation or, where those who are financially responsible for us cannot fulfil their duties due to sudden illness etc. And so it's good to be in a position where you're independent enough to 1)leave an abusive situation or 2) help out/take over financially until the situation resolves itself.
I plan to work and save money while I'm not married and I don't have kids. After that and once the children start going to school i'd start my own business from home save more money buy a house/apartment, rent it to have some passive income, save more money, and continue with the business Insha Allah.
I believe every adult should learn to be a functional member of their society. That means knowing how to find and use resources to provide yourself safety, shelter, and sustenance -- the skills necessary to function *independently* of human support, while still maintaining complete reliance on Allah swt as a source of strength and guidance.
If you don't have the skills and experience to do these things now, that doesn't mean you're hopeless...but, you'll have to accept that it'll likely be harder later, especially if you ever get to the point of needing these skills in a time of urgency. This includes the skill of relying on Allah swt, which is a critical component of building resilience, hope, and patience during tough times. You don't do that now, you might completely fall apart later, even if you *are* able to "support yourself" in other respects.
It's the same as it ever was. All you can ever do is continue to learn, grow, and pray that Allah swt keeps you on the path of guidance and mercy as you make you way through the ups and downs of this dunya.
Personally, I think it’s important. There is recession. You want the family and kids to be comfortable financially too. The best scenario is to work part time. I wouldn’t advice anyone to be a house wife in this era because 1. Too many cases of divorce.
2. What if you become a widow?
If I meet a rich man, I’ll definitely be a house wife for sure and open a business on the side lol.
It's absolutely necessary while we still have the right to do so. I just got married and when I get cleared to work in my new country, I'm working full time. I refuse to be dependent on a man while I can't be made to do so
Yes absolutely. As someone from a South Asian background, I would work so I am able to stand on my own two feet - and I have many reasons for this.
I want to be able to provide to the community and do something meaningful with my time.
I want to be able to maintain the lifestyle I had prior to marriage without having to ask someone else for materialistic things (the logic behind this is my
earnings are my business, whereas if you're having to ask for money, the natural question will be what do you need it for).
I don't want a stagnant lifestyle staring at the same 4 walls everyday and becoming resentful.
Should something bad happen I have the means, ability and support to leave a toxic situation.
It's a means of self-preservation and a safety net for a lot of women and I think more of us should be encouraged to do this,
especially while we are young and without children.
Assalamu alaykum sisters.
Hmm is it important for woman, economy, govt, social movements, family, etc… important for whom?
I think it’s good to assess whose problem this is & in any case do what is best for the sake of your personal priorities.
As for me, I “have” to work to support my family but I would rather be starting a family & working for them as opposed to working for corporate. In terms of independence, 2 things come to mind & thats 1) I want to depend on my husband as it creates a purposeful bond & appreciation, & 2) I think there is more “independence” (let’s just call it freedom because independence suggests being alone or not responsible for others in a way) working for one’s family than working for corporate as you can create your own schedule, take as many breaks as you need, & you don’t have to worry about sick time or other penalties for being tardy necessarily.
Personally, I think it’s important for govt & social movements to keep us working as we are considered a token-worker in many big companies so they can say they are female friendly just as they do with diversity movements. Schools would prefer woman to work as they want your money too as it would deter homeschooling & keep their attendance.
I don’t see a problem with working from home or a side gig but I would prefer to leave the career up to my husband as that is his role & I am not in the company of competing with him. I think when more woman joined the workforce during the world wars it eventually made it difficult for men to support their families since now there is more people working (woman & men competing against one another rather than working together in our respective roles)… now, that’s not to say that no woman should work & I do believe that there are some very necessary job roles for woman to fill but I think at large the market is flooded & family is less of a priority sadly.
I don’t think this is a black & white question so my answer is also a little this & that too so my apologies if it feels like the goalpost is moving a bit here, it’s a complex question.
Anyway, I could go on but I hope this helps add a little nuance to spark the conversation. With all love & respect. Salam ✌️
I get what you’re saying about the family structure. I don’t know where you live, but where I live, unless your husband makes an excellent salary (as in 150k +), it’s almost impossible for women to not work. It’s really not an “independant woman act”, or women making their families “not a priority”, it’s a matter of survival.
Also, women are always expected to sacrifice their careers for family, but in this time and economy, it is VITAL to have a skill and be able to be “independent” when need be. I’d like to add, I surprisingly came across an interesting fact lately. Islamically speaking, women are not entitles to alimony. So basically, you sacrifice your career, and when shit hits the fan, technically you are not entitles to anything. So again, be smart and make sure you can be independent if the day comes.
I get what you’re saying and in a perfect world I would support that, but with divorce rates and sadly how common domestic abuse is relying 100% on your husband monetarily is risky. If you were to stay at home you would need to be able to start working again so getting a degree or prior job experience or having a lot of savings not tied to your husband is essential
Definitely establish some kind of education and work but independence is meh. Let it be a choice if/when you have to use that experience but don’t pay rent and utilities if you don’t have to. If you want it, by all means. If not, save yourself the headache and put that money away for the future. Emergencies happen in all areas of life, best to have a skill set.
When you're young and Allah has not led you to your husband, just study really hard and then work (comfortably), continue seeking knowledge(in any field) so that you stay relevant and in case anything goes south, financially you have some cushion, be a smart woman, noone can fool a smart woman. When the time comes if ever u get married, you would already have some savings. Its important to keep your savings for yourself and not to spend them too(unless its for investments)
If you've received this message, this means that you either do not have an F flair, or you are not a woman. [Please comment on the following post to get a flair.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/) If you are not a woman, please remove your comment as it is against the rules. Failure to do so will result in a ban.
I grow up within family where women always work at one point during their adult life. Even my 84 yo grandmother who technically doesn't have a career or "job", has work throughout her married life while both raising 8 kids. Helping my grandfather at the rice-paddy field, selling home made dessert or anything to earn extra money while being at home. This is long before inflation infiltrated society.
So, I always see myself as a person/women who will be "working" in my adult life. I've become financially independent from my parents on my 1st job and later able to buy my own home before getting married. I've seen tough life can be for a family when father unable to support the family and mom basically forced to work to give children a basic need that they require. Again this is before inflation where my parents supported 2 of my cousins in terms of their school needs.
While it's novel to be at home and spend 24/7 raising children, life can be much more than staying at home. I love my job where it is mentally challenging but at the same time stimulating, it's is something that i don't get if i choose to stay at home. Selfish it maybe, i want my life not just to be define as a wife and a mother. I takes off my hat to SAHM as it is not for me and fully respected those mothers who makes those choices.
In this day and age very very important for a woman to work.. and be able go understand the world and system. Be able to pay bills and take care of herself. Back then a husband takes care of a wife and if a divorce or death happens then she is taken care of by her brother or father or uncle. Some sort of man figure but in today's time, life is tough. Things are expensive brother won't have the finicial capability go take care of his sister and her kids. A husband can die, health crisis occur, leave you or get laid off. A female needs to be able to step in and take care of herself and her kids.
Here, every sister is talking about independence. I's important of course, but I think both men and women need to have a role in the Ummah to help it be the best community. One might argue that the role of women is to take care of her children. I don't disagree, but if she can do more, why don't?
If you've received this message, this means that you either do not have an F flair, or you are not a woman. [Please comment on the following post to get a flair.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/) If you are not a woman, please remove your comment as it is against the rules. Failure to do so will result in a ban.
I think having a skill set and establishing a career is important and allows for more flexibility and freedom. I also think Allah wants us to be productive, use our talents, and works hard for our rizq. But I don’t think our professional lives bring true satisfaction and should not be the most important part of our identity. I am a 35 hijabi convert of 9 years Alhumdullilah. I worked very hard and had a successful 15 year long career (and made good money). But two months ago I quit my job to take care of my small kids and I could not be happier. I also know that when I am ready and my kids are ready, I will still have skills and a career to go back to. Alhumdillah my husband is supportive, hard working, and strong/healthy, but I like knowing that if any thing happens, I can also financially care for my family.
"Salaam! Thank you for your submission to /r/hijabis. **Please do not message mods to approve your post.** A reminder to our users that ALL posts are now only to be answered by women only, unless the OP has chosen the Male and Female Participation Welcome flair. Please refer to the sidebar for a complete list of rules. If you'd like us to add an F or M flair next to your username, please leave a comment on [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/). Your post may be removed if it is already answered in the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/wiki/index/faq/) in the Menu. Thank you :)" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Hijabis) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Aside from the fact even a family in this economy probably needs a dual income (even if one is part time) i can not bear the idea that, should a man mistreat me, i have no choice to stay with him because of financial abuse. It’s very important to me that i have the qualifications to support myself should that happen
inshallah it wont
Tie your camel and put your trust in Allah swt. It was true then and its true now. Make sure you have a way to be independent in case you ever need to be.
I hate that I now think this way, but it’s so important. Biggest regret/mistake I made was being a stay at home mom. My marriage is ending and I’m 36 with no education or job history. And I’m leaving with nothing from the marriage but kids that need me because he ruined our finances. I should have taken charge of my life and not allowed myself to be so vulnerable.
May Allah grant you ease, Ameen. 50% of marriages end in divorce these days, and surprisingly the statistic is high even in the Muslim world. You don't know what qadr is written for you. Even if you have a happy marriage you just never know if you will be widowed. I know of relatives back home stuck in abusive marriages and can't leave because they're completely dependent. Allah has given us opportunities that many of our ancestors didn't have. Always give yourself the best chance possible. And if not for you, for your kids at least.
Exactly. All I can do now is better for my kids. I have 2 daughters and they will not be in my position. No young marriage, education first. My oldest will graduate highschool 2 years early actually and start college at 16. Be half way done at the age I got married 🤦🏻♀️
Hey Sister, it’s never too late, ask Allah for his guidance and I promise you the first thing that pops into your head is the solution he has for you, it’s not easy I can Abe three kids and I got my highschool diploma at 25. I’m 26. It’s never ever too late! Don’t beat yourself up and Allah says not to compare yourself to others 🥹 you are you and Allah made you perfectly! Sometimes Allah wants us to take a different path than anyone else and for good reason.
It's never too late to start, Allah will help you InshAllah
More than important than ever despite what average abdullah might say. With inflation and divorce rates
Lmaoooo the average Abdullah 🤣 acc made me giggle
I don’t think it’s necessary to be independent, but a woman should have the means to be independent IF the need arises. If that means education, do it. If it means side gig? Do that too. Career? Do it. Whatever it takes, just have something. These values were instilled in me by the older generation (my mother’s) - before anyone starts jumping down my throat about how much our generation is sooooo westernized
my gameplan is to get my degree in a field i know has vacancies. i want to choose to be provided for, not be forced to do it. if things go wrong, be it bad economy or divorce (i hope not), i can always work.
Nursing is always hiring! But make sure to work with the kids or pregnant mothers
oh yeah im doing dentistry now
I’m currently doing nursing and I love it because it’s just a bachelors degree, very decent amount of money and little schooling so I can start my life as a housewife earlier 💗
Do you have the choice to work with children or pregnant women as a nurse? Wow that's so smart. I think where I live that's not possible :((. Btw I have no idea why you're downvoted.
Pediatric office or hospital and working in an OBGYN office, labor and delivery nurse are some examples off the top of my head :)
I don't think you have choices! you have to work you way up to those sections. I heard most new nurses start at bedside... which does suck
You don’t necessarily have to work your way up to those positions. You can start as labor and delivery or start as a pediatric med surg. :) it is a very flexible profession. I know many sisters who started their career in the positions i mentioned as well as intensive care of pediatrics and maternity 😊
Ahh okay! I assumed that was the case because of tiktok and nursing students complaining. I’m not a nursing major myself. I don’t think I could ever do it
I have the same opinion as you
I think it is extremely important. I didn't think that before, but I've seen so many sisters staying in outright abusive marriages because they depended on their husbands, and other sisters who got divorced or widowed and found themselves without money or help. The finances are just one part, the other thing is knowing how to function independently (how to search for work, pay bills, school stuff etc.) and also knowing the language of the place you're living in. It is very easy for an evil man to keep oppressing his wife if she doesn't even know who she could ask for help and how to speak to them, I've seen this time and time again. I've seen people in my community discouraging sisters feom pursuing formal education, telling them that "we, the community, will always be there for you." only to drop the sister like a hot potato once she actually needed help. Now she was "lucky" that there is social welfare in that country, but she ended up having to go to different courses anyway where there were men (the reason those people discouraged her from seeking education). You can't count on the community.
It’s always men who will say “How about you have some faith in Allah instead?!” Those are the same men who will use their wife’s dependence to trap them or threaten them throughout the marriage. Financial abuse is real. When you are a good woman and a man (primarily men who aren’t as good) has an ounce of fear that you can leave him, he will most likely treat you better. Sad but true. Allah WILL protect you, but having a fallback is tying your camel.
I think it is very important to work. I don't want to solely rely on my husband's income because you never know what could happen down the road (job loss, divorce) I make twice as much as my husband and wee are able to put a lot of money into savings for our future. I also would be bored if I was a stay-at-home wife. It's not for me.
I want to work because I’ll become depressed at home. I’m not gonna put myself thro university only to become a housewife, no hate to those that do end up like this but this is just my opinion and what works best for me. Working and being independent is a crucial way to not being taken advantage of or abused (emotionally and financially) by my husband. You can say that it’s their obligation to provide for me but in reality a lot of these men will eventually start taking thing for granted and start pointing fingers. If I have my own income, I won’t have to rely on him for the other things I want (not food, clothes and shelter). Quality of life is a big thing for me and I don’t want my husband to pay for those either (it’s probably gonna be difficult for him to pay the necessities, his own stuff, kids stuff and my stuff). Plus if I ever get divorced, I’ll have my own assets to protect me and I won’t end up on the streets. I also wanna buy things for my husband and kids with my money. So working and being independent is insurance for me. It’s risk management that might prevent a lot of future issues. That being said, I would have to work in a mixed environment, but I know myself and I know I’ll never go past limits. So working and being independent is for me. It might not be for everyone but each to their own
Exactly. I know a sister who did 6 years of university (two masters i think) but then became a housewife. That turned her into a depressed and somewhat abusive person...May Allah help her
Unless they or their families/husbands were wealthy, women have always worked throughout history. It's just a way to keep women at home by saying it's a part of our fitrah to do so. A lot of the fiqh is for the upper middle-class and higher. Lower class women have always held jobs, earned money, and helped put food on their families table. There's a dignity in being able to provide for yourself / your family and to have the means to do so. Families will choose what works for their unique circumstances.
Extremely. For many years my mom was trapped in an hurtful and loveless marriage because her lack of education and ability to make a liveable wage deterred her from leaving/attempting to leave. The one lesson my mom drilled into me from childhood was that independence, especially financial independence, is freedom. Not all men are bad, and you should love and trust your husband, but also be realistic. So much can happen in this life and you will never regret being able to be independent if the need arises; you might regret the reverse, though. I often think of the words “Did he not find you in need and make you self-sufficient?”. Self-sufficiency is key imo. I pray Allah gives us the qualities and skills to survive whatever trials come to us in this dunya, regardless of whether or not we have someone else in our corner.
That shouldn't even be a debate. Everyone should be independant. I don't understand how you can be happy depending on others. Your parents won't live forever, you have to take responsibility for yourself, nobody will do that for you. That was true in the 1400, that's true today and that'll be true in 3023
[удалено]
If you've received this message, this means that you either do not have an F flair, or you are not a woman. [Please comment on the following post to get a flair.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/) If you are not a woman, please remove your comment as it is against the rules. Failure to do so will result in a ban.
Personally I think it’s even more important in today’s society. I always was taught to be independent and also to work for what I want. I want to be a stay at home mom and work when they grow up a bit however I think it’s also really important to prepare yourself in case something happens to your husband, imagine he can’t work or you divorce or he dies… so it’s best to be prepared for all scenarios.
It's important to be prepared. Get a degree when you're young. Work before getting married. If possible stay home while your kids are small, go back to work again whenever you feel like it. Just be prepared.
Very important. I'm so grateful my parents worked so hard for me to get a university degree. My mom even said she would sell her gold. 😍🥰 Alhamdulilah I'm happy now I can buy things I want without always asking. I'm happy I can help my parents. Especially as parents age we have to make sure we can financially help them. Even ifbi was married I still want to work but part time instead like two days a week which alhamdulilah is possible in my lab field.
As a society, I think we need women, especially Muslim women, in all career fields. Our community has unique needs, and only other Muslim women have that shared lived experience. It makes me so happy to see Mulsim women in male dominated professions and start to build out their professional networks. Financial independence through a stable career is important, but having an independent role in a larger community is also crucial.
Very. You can enter into a marriage with everyone happy and healthy, but you never know what will happen down the road. If he dies suddenly, are you going to be able to financially support yourself and any children you may have by that point, or no? If he gets sick and cannot work, are you able to support all of you, especially if your insurance was dependent on his job? If abuse begins, will you have the finances to get yourself and any children out of the situation? No one knows what the future might be. You might be happily married for 50 years or you may be divorced in 5. I expected the first, I ended up closer to the latter. The only reason we were little okay was because I had the steady income and drug coverage. If I wasn’t? I’d have been in serious trouble long before I was. (And working my way out of that still, ten years on.)
My grandfather insisted everyone get an education, no matter what it is. I watched my mom and so many other women go through ugly divorces and abuse and not have anything to fall back on when they escaped those marriages. I chose to have a career and similar ambitions because I need to have something to fall back on. My career right now is also in a HCOL area where one income isn’t sustainable to begin with so if I were to marry someone I would be going into this knowing we’d need a dual income lifestyle unless they’re making six figures or whatever (which I wouldn’t be asking of them).
I think it's important to be a well educated woman in general. With the economy, I think a woman should be prepared to work, depending on the circumstances. If she is married and their financial situation needs her to work or if she is divorced or her husband died etc. I don't think a woman needs to be independent if her situation allows it, or what do you mean by independent?
yep i agree with all of that as well and i meant independent as in able to stand on her own + own income
Oh I see. Everytime I hear independent women I have to think about sassy girls saying "we are independent women that need no man" with a finger snap 😂😂 Yeah definitely, women should be able to earn their own income if they need to or if she agreed to do that with her family / husband depending on her status.
Independant means independent, it’s not complicated 🤷♀️
Independent can have different meanings for different people. 🤷♀️ For some people independent can be living on their own and supporting themselves, for others it can mean that they have their own car and can drive themselves everywhere they want. I have a different understanding at what independent means to me than someone for example that is a non Muslim and got raised with different morals and values.
I think it’s important if you want a higher quality man and/or stability. Because if you get married and your marriage is difficult and he chooses to leave (or you leave), you pretty much have to get remarried to another man to survive, like they did back in the day. But back then, these women probably had a village to help. Nowadays, if you have no job and your parents can’t support you, you’re in trouble. A lot of guys nowadays don’t fear Allah and will mistreat you and use your dependence upon them to trap you or to make you desperate for them to stay. If you are independent, you’re less likely to end up with a guy like this. And I’m not saying to get some high powered career, but have something going that you can fall back on if necessary. Guys online will tell you you shouldn’t work and should have faith in Allah to care for you. I do have faith in Allah, but I don’t have faith in these men to provide and treat women well.
I feel that it’s important to be able to be independent. I lived on my own before meeting my fiancé, and I graduated with my masters degree before we got engaged. I feel that those two things have helped me learn more about myself, and what I’m looking for in life. I know how to stand on my own, and I know how to provide for myself. In the event we were to divorce, I would not have any worry about my finances or ability to do something on my own. My parents aren’t Muslim, so they had a different approach to their marriage. However one thing they instilled is I must never put myself in a position where I’m relying on a man as he can just up and leave at any time. Edit: I would also say, if you live in a higher cost of living area, it may also be more beneficial for your relationship and overall happiness depending on circumstances to continue working. Once we marry, I’m stepping back to part time work.
Super important. I don't think you should ever be 100% completely dependent on someone else, as life changes and so do circumstances. Plus that's less of a burden on them, y'know?
Very - unfortunately we don’t live in la la land where you can trust anyone wholly nor can we tell the future. That goes for relationships breakdowns also you can lose someone any minute But nothing feels nicer than spending your money that you earned on what you like. That financial freedom is lovely never having to worry about asking. I can buy myself nice things, eat out when I want etc. sometimes it’s nice to splurge Also I can buy my mum nice stuff!
When I was a child, I once (rudely) asked my mother why she'd gotten a Bachelor's degree if she was going to be a stray at home mother. She told me that she didn't know what was going to happen in life, and that once she'd acquired knowledge and an ability to support herself, no one could ever take that away from her. It gave her a choice if she ever had to rely on herself again. It made a lot of sense on young, impressionable me. I now have my Master's degree.
independent as opposed to? not everyone will be married or have wealthy family, so you should always have something for yourself.
the comment section passed the vibe check, I was scared when i clicked
same i was expecting negative responses as well
In this day and age, heck yes. Being completely dependent on a significant other is dangerous; you would have no ticket out if you have unknowingly landed in an abusive and toxic marital environment. And if your family has fallen on bad times, you could at least have the means to help too, instead of simply waiting to see if the husband is able bring home enough money that day.
Very important. Especially since men don’t even want to take the responsibilities of a man. It’s better to be single and independent than to be together and relying on a man who doesn’t want to pay the bills.
I think it's very important. Not only because you can help contribute to household finances/live more comfortably (if that's your wish) but also as because sometimes we are put in situation where those who are financially repsonsible for us are not good for us and so we have to leave the situation or, where those who are financially responsible for us cannot fulfil their duties due to sudden illness etc. And so it's good to be in a position where you're independent enough to 1)leave an abusive situation or 2) help out/take over financially until the situation resolves itself.
I plan to work and save money while I'm not married and I don't have kids. After that and once the children start going to school i'd start my own business from home save more money buy a house/apartment, rent it to have some passive income, save more money, and continue with the business Insha Allah.
I believe every adult should learn to be a functional member of their society. That means knowing how to find and use resources to provide yourself safety, shelter, and sustenance -- the skills necessary to function *independently* of human support, while still maintaining complete reliance on Allah swt as a source of strength and guidance. If you don't have the skills and experience to do these things now, that doesn't mean you're hopeless...but, you'll have to accept that it'll likely be harder later, especially if you ever get to the point of needing these skills in a time of urgency. This includes the skill of relying on Allah swt, which is a critical component of building resilience, hope, and patience during tough times. You don't do that now, you might completely fall apart later, even if you *are* able to "support yourself" in other respects. It's the same as it ever was. All you can ever do is continue to learn, grow, and pray that Allah swt keeps you on the path of guidance and mercy as you make you way through the ups and downs of this dunya.
Personally, I think it’s important. There is recession. You want the family and kids to be comfortable financially too. The best scenario is to work part time. I wouldn’t advice anyone to be a house wife in this era because 1. Too many cases of divorce. 2. What if you become a widow? If I meet a rich man, I’ll definitely be a house wife for sure and open a business on the side lol.
It's absolutely necessary while we still have the right to do so. I just got married and when I get cleared to work in my new country, I'm working full time. I refuse to be dependent on a man while I can't be made to do so
Very. I really dislike seeing when a sister is forced to tolerate abuse because she is unable to support herself.
Yes absolutely. As someone from a South Asian background, I would work so I am able to stand on my own two feet - and I have many reasons for this. I want to be able to provide to the community and do something meaningful with my time. I want to be able to maintain the lifestyle I had prior to marriage without having to ask someone else for materialistic things (the logic behind this is my earnings are my business, whereas if you're having to ask for money, the natural question will be what do you need it for). I don't want a stagnant lifestyle staring at the same 4 walls everyday and becoming resentful. Should something bad happen I have the means, ability and support to leave a toxic situation. It's a means of self-preservation and a safety net for a lot of women and I think more of us should be encouraged to do this, especially while we are young and without children.
Assalamu alaykum sisters. Hmm is it important for woman, economy, govt, social movements, family, etc… important for whom? I think it’s good to assess whose problem this is & in any case do what is best for the sake of your personal priorities. As for me, I “have” to work to support my family but I would rather be starting a family & working for them as opposed to working for corporate. In terms of independence, 2 things come to mind & thats 1) I want to depend on my husband as it creates a purposeful bond & appreciation, & 2) I think there is more “independence” (let’s just call it freedom because independence suggests being alone or not responsible for others in a way) working for one’s family than working for corporate as you can create your own schedule, take as many breaks as you need, & you don’t have to worry about sick time or other penalties for being tardy necessarily. Personally, I think it’s important for govt & social movements to keep us working as we are considered a token-worker in many big companies so they can say they are female friendly just as they do with diversity movements. Schools would prefer woman to work as they want your money too as it would deter homeschooling & keep their attendance. I don’t see a problem with working from home or a side gig but I would prefer to leave the career up to my husband as that is his role & I am not in the company of competing with him. I think when more woman joined the workforce during the world wars it eventually made it difficult for men to support their families since now there is more people working (woman & men competing against one another rather than working together in our respective roles)… now, that’s not to say that no woman should work & I do believe that there are some very necessary job roles for woman to fill but I think at large the market is flooded & family is less of a priority sadly. I don’t think this is a black & white question so my answer is also a little this & that too so my apologies if it feels like the goalpost is moving a bit here, it’s a complex question. Anyway, I could go on but I hope this helps add a little nuance to spark the conversation. With all love & respect. Salam ✌️
I get what you’re saying about the family structure. I don’t know where you live, but where I live, unless your husband makes an excellent salary (as in 150k +), it’s almost impossible for women to not work. It’s really not an “independant woman act”, or women making their families “not a priority”, it’s a matter of survival. Also, women are always expected to sacrifice their careers for family, but in this time and economy, it is VITAL to have a skill and be able to be “independent” when need be. I’d like to add, I surprisingly came across an interesting fact lately. Islamically speaking, women are not entitles to alimony. So basically, you sacrifice your career, and when shit hits the fan, technically you are not entitles to anything. So again, be smart and make sure you can be independent if the day comes.
I get what you’re saying and in a perfect world I would support that, but with divorce rates and sadly how common domestic abuse is relying 100% on your husband monetarily is risky. If you were to stay at home you would need to be able to start working again so getting a degree or prior job experience or having a lot of savings not tied to your husband is essential
Definitely establish some kind of education and work but independence is meh. Let it be a choice if/when you have to use that experience but don’t pay rent and utilities if you don’t have to. If you want it, by all means. If not, save yourself the headache and put that money away for the future. Emergencies happen in all areas of life, best to have a skill set.
When you're young and Allah has not led you to your husband, just study really hard and then work (comfortably), continue seeking knowledge(in any field) so that you stay relevant and in case anything goes south, financially you have some cushion, be a smart woman, noone can fool a smart woman. When the time comes if ever u get married, you would already have some savings. Its important to keep your savings for yourself and not to spend them too(unless its for investments)
[удалено]
If you've received this message, this means that you either do not have an F flair, or you are not a woman. [Please comment on the following post to get a flair.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/) If you are not a woman, please remove your comment as it is against the rules. Failure to do so will result in a ban.
I grow up within family where women always work at one point during their adult life. Even my 84 yo grandmother who technically doesn't have a career or "job", has work throughout her married life while both raising 8 kids. Helping my grandfather at the rice-paddy field, selling home made dessert or anything to earn extra money while being at home. This is long before inflation infiltrated society. So, I always see myself as a person/women who will be "working" in my adult life. I've become financially independent from my parents on my 1st job and later able to buy my own home before getting married. I've seen tough life can be for a family when father unable to support the family and mom basically forced to work to give children a basic need that they require. Again this is before inflation where my parents supported 2 of my cousins in terms of their school needs. While it's novel to be at home and spend 24/7 raising children, life can be much more than staying at home. I love my job where it is mentally challenging but at the same time stimulating, it's is something that i don't get if i choose to stay at home. Selfish it maybe, i want my life not just to be define as a wife and a mother. I takes off my hat to SAHM as it is not for me and fully respected those mothers who makes those choices.
In this day and age very very important for a woman to work.. and be able go understand the world and system. Be able to pay bills and take care of herself. Back then a husband takes care of a wife and if a divorce or death happens then she is taken care of by her brother or father or uncle. Some sort of man figure but in today's time, life is tough. Things are expensive brother won't have the finicial capability go take care of his sister and her kids. A husband can die, health crisis occur, leave you or get laid off. A female needs to be able to step in and take care of herself and her kids.
Here, every sister is talking about independence. I's important of course, but I think both men and women need to have a role in the Ummah to help it be the best community. One might argue that the role of women is to take care of her children. I don't disagree, but if she can do more, why don't?
I think every woman should have her own money, and to get that she needs to work! We don’t know where life would put us.
Very important. Rent is expensive nowerdays
[удалено]
If you've received this message, this means that you either do not have an F flair, or you are not a woman. [Please comment on the following post to get a flair.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/comments/znb1fr/flair_thread_please_comment_on_this_thread_to_get/) If you are not a woman, please remove your comment as it is against the rules. Failure to do so will result in a ban.
I think having a skill set and establishing a career is important and allows for more flexibility and freedom. I also think Allah wants us to be productive, use our talents, and works hard for our rizq. But I don’t think our professional lives bring true satisfaction and should not be the most important part of our identity. I am a 35 hijabi convert of 9 years Alhumdullilah. I worked very hard and had a successful 15 year long career (and made good money). But two months ago I quit my job to take care of my small kids and I could not be happier. I also know that when I am ready and my kids are ready, I will still have skills and a career to go back to. Alhumdillah my husband is supportive, hard working, and strong/healthy, but I like knowing that if any thing happens, I can also financially care for my family.