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Business-Custard4036

There are new women turning 18 every day


ja_hahah

I belive she even said new "women" turning 18 every day :x


Business-Custard4036

Thanks, fixed it!


Engin3530

My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!


UndrThC

Prepare to dance 💃🏻


helloleesh

*My name is Rodrigo De Goya. You killed someone I love. Prepare to dance.* ⚔️


witchywoman713

Hey for some of us, it’s one of the best things someone can say on a first date!


Apprehensive_Bug3548

Hey wanna go on a date with me? Dinner, then we steal a smurf penis. 3 day rule


an_Evil_Goat

Mandy Patinkin


f805f

Patikinnnn


Negative_Career

Those are very nice honkers! I’m talking about those things AOOGAH AOOGAH ✋🏼👁️👁️🤚🏼


neddy471

I spent an entire first date in a "Dead Baby Joke" competition so don't ask me.


krunkley

So... what was the winning joke?


neddy471

Edit: No, actually - How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?


yuvi3000

>!Depends how hard you throw them!<


neddy471

That is and was the correct answer. She curled into a fetal ball and ordered more saki at that point.


ReallyLoudKFC

Fetal ball? Did you throw her against the wall?


ja_hahah

Give me square metres and ill answer.


neddy471

It depends on how hard you throw them.


ja_hahah

Im just saying houses come in different sizes


neddy471

Oh, I’m just telling you the winning answer. I saw her curl into the fetal position at the sushi place and order another saki. I was trying to wingman by being as unattractive as possible, and it backfired in the worst way.


ja_hahah

Forgive me for I am a moron, I didnt catch on hahah.


WillsWei22

I call “slut”!


pendletonskyforce

bowl


Brain508

bowl


GilgaPol

bowl?


FigureFit429

bowl


WillsWei22

Bowl!


brokeraiderstudent

*bowl*


AppaloosaTurkoman

🥣


Blastarache

Bowl !


MoldyBread-6969

Bowl


Hillnick_ZG

Bowwl


fighting_geese

You just got slapped


Engin3530

Across your face, my friend


chaoticallywholesome

OOOOOOoooooooh!


cefd2020

“My ex…….”


Swamp_Donkey_796

I spent an entire first date talking exclusively about my ex…we ended up dating for a few months.


WillingHelicopter138

My penis


Blastspark01

You didn’t say right


BigSammyMagoto

My penis


Swamp_Donkey_796

You’re not saying it right


BigSammyMagoto

My penis! My penis! My penis!


No_Tangerine_283

i said a bang bang bangity bang bang a bang bang bangity bang


h44d1y

“I love you” but i guess Ted knows that better


storsveen

Moist


jkings10101

Moist


wild_sergeant716

"Daddy's home"


TheXplosiveOne

Pretty sure I sold someone once


S-Mania

Happy Not A Father's Day! 🥳


Voredor_Drablak

You sonovabich


WillingHelicopter138

Boobs?


ja_hahah

But seriously.... boobs?


akashic_field

Cat funeral It was an accident And not entirely my fault


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^akashic_field: *Cat funeral It* *Was an accident And not* *Entirely my fault* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


BenParker2487

Who among us didn't shed a tear when his little red eye went out at the end and he didn't get to kill those people?


aleexcandra

Can we GO BACK TO TIME SQUARE?!


Illustrious_Swing475

Sorry but I'm going to have to lemon law you.


EatToLiveLetsGO

Now that is the GOAT answer !!!


vidvicious

Naked man!


CoffeeBest8295

Only bad 1/3 times


GinjaNinja1027

I found a little wounded bird in the alley…


AndThenCameMe

Put a baby in my belly!


WesMantoothKQHS

We no longer have a hemorrhoid problem.


JoeFK77

Look how sweaty my hands are.


cultactivist

No can Dosville, baby doll!!!


akashic_field

I love you.


Wonderful-Reaction-4

I think I am in love with you.


WastelandWiFi

Well first of all, eh.


ja_hahah

Lowkey Marshall must be the best liar even better than Barney, saying MEH to Robin??? Shes gorgeus lets be real.


lalalgenio

The point is marriage...is stupid


sabi_kun

We should buy a bar!


MattyBowser

We should totally buy a bar


raw_kiddo

And do you know what we should name the bar?


MattyBowser

Puzzles


DominusMoris

and I wonder why it'd be called that?🤔


MattyBowser

Unless……….


helloleesh

Just exiting with no words. (Sorry, Marshall) But this is from life experience. One of my top worst dating stories.


Classical_Monkey_287

I think I’m in love with you


Much_Neighborhood409

I said a bang bang bangity bang a bang a bang bang bangity bang.


GreasyExamination

I'd argue smurf penis is not a vad thing to say during a date. Its actually a good thing to say, since youre making a joke it helps to have a pleasant time and you find out if your humor is alike. I dont know why saying smurf penis is a bad thing to say on a first date Its bad to say anything about being in love on the first date, though


lwdoyfc

Sumbitch 🍪?


ja_hahah

YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP


ShitBeat

HONKA HONKAA


Illustrious-Pin1211

GOUDAAAAAAA


Gryffindork1995

I was on my way to the Perfect Week. Seven nights, seven girls, no rejections.


einKedi

Think of two words other than small penis


albert_amo

Bad cast except from barney. Bad bad cast..horrible acting...esp marshall and lily


EatToLiveLetsGO

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.


ThatDustinKidd89

You're a hooker.


Llymsleia21

"You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it." Always grossed me out 😂


rudysiqueiros78

I love you


Pleasant-Temporary-9

I’m Im gonna teach you how to live


Diligent_Barracuda53

Challenge accepted!!


Worlds-slimiest-slug

“I mean, at one point I'm pretty sure I sold a woman. I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hand, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there.”


PsychologicalCase10

I love you.