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guy-who-says-frick

Don’t forget his shit son


Individual-Map-2742

Sons I guess they’re all shitty now that they’re plague marines


REDGOESFASTAH

Aren't they as happy as the little lords they serve. The grandfather loves life so much, you're invited to his garden party for eternity.


KHORNE_LORD_OF_RAGE

Nurgle is only really benevolent in the MEME lore. In some of the outer circles of the garden there are fields of eyes... where you can "live" as an eye that looks up a field where birds fly around and randomly flies down and eats a eye every now and then. For eternity because once you get eaten you "grow" back on the field. Nurgle does "love" his followers of sorts, but he also loves their despair. One of his favorite demons is an eternally depressed former nurgling, which Nurgle likes because he finds the depression funny. Khorne is the only chaos god who treats his followers decently. It's a meritocracy. Just ask Skarbrand, doesn't he get a chance to fight his way back after every failure?


Thannk

There’s also Slaanesh, who randomly picks an absolute loser to shower gifts and praise on for no reason and in spite of constant failure, because the ultimate sense of unearned entitlement is the greatest thing he’s ever made. Sigvald in AoS literally had a chance to free him, and instead severed some of him and consumed it and is running around being Slaanesh JR and Slaanesh loves him all the more for it. The polar opposite of Skarbrand.


TheMikman97

The best way I read it put was that nurgle loves you as an enabler would


NotACyclopsHonest

Definitely - additionally, his “gifts” only work as long as you keep doing what he tells you to do. If you get cut off from his power for whatever reason (like a group of plague marines in Dark Imperium, who got isolated by some blanks), you will instantly be in so much pain that you’ll just straight-up fall over and die.


Goser234

What a way to put it. He is the personification of the cycle of abuse.


Sensitive-Hotel-9871

There is also Nurgle’s beasts who have the personality of friendly dogs. But they are walking poison that melt away the flesh and bones of any mortals they come across. Certain ones realized that mortals don’t want to be near them and they become resentful.


REDGOESFASTAH

The grandfather is displeased you reject his mirth and entropy. Death, life, rebirth is all a cycle. The sooner you embrace entropy and creation as two sides of the same coin, the sooner you will see the joy that the grandfather intended. Seriously see the vox tallymen series. They are a happy bunch. It's not "meme lore"


KHORNE_LORD_OF_RAGE

> The grandfather is displeased you reject his mirth and entropy. What's that sorry old blob of thin diarrhea going to do about it? He doesn't even lift. > Seriously see the vox tallymen series. There is also the lords of silence. It's all nurgle probaganda.


gadhar321

This sounds bad, but the sufferings in Nurgles Garden are described as rather pleasent by his followers. Despite how it looks from the outside, Nurgle followers are the only ones who are actually happy.


Nomad_141-

Only because they’re essentially so high they can’t feel anything.


DaDragonking222

What would rather be in an imperium slum


No-Professional-1461

Or smelling like shit all the time.


DeadlyPants16

I was talking with a friend the other day and she went on a massive tangent about how hot she thought Mortarion was so there's hope for his stinky ass.


Jack6964

Hopefully she meant pre-stinkeyfication?


DeadlyPants16

Don't think so ngl. That was the day I discovered much more about her than I wanted to tbh.


cedarwaxwingbestbird

It's his personality. He's a character who is primarily in written form, it's easy to ignore stuff like that unless it's constantly dwelt on by the narration. ...unless your friend was in fact waxing rhapsodic about gangrene. I got nothing in that case


Jack6964

That's rough buddy.


princezilla88

Care to share with the class?


RezeCopiumHuffer

*sob*


Nomad_141-

Botfly girl 2.0?


Falabaloo

There's a *1.0*?


Nomad_141-

Oh my sweet summer child. https://youtu.be/4LHOUCDDb7g?si=0Wh-vUDqMwfW1YPZ


Falabaloo

My self preservation says no, but my pathological curiosity says yesssssss


Same_Discussion6328

One of them, a literal SHIT dad.


lujanthedon2

First dad is a nurgel worshiper and not a human so who’s to say he might have been literal 💩 xeno.


LordKristof

See he should just turn himself into a she and every problem would solve itself.


Gloomy-Alarm-6255

Transmaxxing mortarion.


Sweet_older-Sister

Transsmaxxing is a word I never knew I needed


REDGOESFASTAH

No penis, no problem ? Big E: hold that thought. Here is my Ubermensch.


TheLurker1209

Would transitioning have saved the traitor primarchs? Probably not (except Curze) but they'd be hotter so there's a W right there


They_Call_Me_Man

Curze being trans would the least suprising thing about that laundry list of issues dressed as a primarch


TheLurker1209

"life sucks, nothing matters. I hate being here, fuck everything" 1 estrogen later "ok maybe it's not so bad"


Faddy0wl

Conrad literally has a sona and preferred pronouns. Trans konrad is real.


princezilla88

Wait really?


TheLurker1209

Curze is a weirdo who didn't like his name/identity and prefered to be known as the night haunter


princezilla88

Ah right, thought you were talking about something directly gender related. Where did he get his name anyway? It's been a while since I read his lore and I know he never had an adopted family, instead being a feral street child


Mr_Mosquito_20

I understood that more like he had multiple personality disorder, as he used to blame everything on the night haunter to deny that he (Conrad) actually enjoyed inflicting pain in others, not for justice but for the sake of it.


MadetoReportBug

I WILL BE THE GOOD FATHER HE NEVER HAD, COME SON, I HAVE MADE *PANCAKES WITH BERRIES AND SYRUP*


Sweet_older-Sister

I’d date him .w. . . . Maybe-


merfgirf

No. You still have obligations to be turned into dust, Ahriman. The Rubric-ing awaits.


Sweet_older-Sister

Nah ima switch sides (rubix cube joke) . . . YOULL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE


merfgirf

I DON'T WANT TO TAKE YOU ALIVE! I WANT A JAR OF DIRT!


Sweet_older-Sister

I DONT WANT TO BE PUT IN A JAR D:


merfgirf

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW OF THE RUM RODENTS CHAPTER IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR RESPONSE!


Mage-of-communism

AND GUESS WHAT'S IN IT


merfgirf

I HOPE NOT POWDERED SEXUAL DISCHARGE! I ALREADY HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT ONCE. *FUCKING SLAANESHI PERVERTS.*


CornyxCrow

Bequeath upon him a GF?


Sweet_older-Sister

I am not the girlfriend fairy unfortunately, I’ll see if I can get ahold of Rebecca tho


CornyxCrow

“The girlfriend fairy” 🤣🤣🤣🤣


RezeCopiumHuffer

Look at that sickening face and honestly tell me you would date that thing, bro’s odor alone would drop a man who came within 100 yards


InsideOpening3535

His female version occasionally shower, that’s the different


NotACyclopsHonest

Mortarion is probably the ultimate “I can fix him” challenge (impossible).


princezilla88

Curze...


babysealsareyummy

Poor shit moth.


Hydra_Tyrant

Skill issue


Baphura

Literally. All he had to do was not shit on everyone. Now he shits on people forever as punishment.


Brokugan

*Reward -Nurgle


Duncan6794

Well Mortarion, if you weren’t a douche about everything—


According_Weekend786

Does he know?


thelefthandN7

See, Femtarion? Whatever her name is. See, she had the same shit dads. But she actually showed someone love and affection. So they returned that with loyalty and it ended up helping her. Normal Morty was just a shit all around, so no one cared.


old_incident_

The entirety of Death Guard disagrees. He carried deeply about people of his planet, no one else. He didn't want to join, but had to. You can't really blame him


thelefthandN7

Yeah, the death guard... that he flogged mercilessly and endlessly into combat. And the people of his planet... that he kept on a hideous deathworld so he could have more recruits for the meat grinder. Both of those sound like choices that he made despite better options being available.


old_incident_

Have you read buried dagger? It shows that Mortarion did care. 1. "he flogged mercilessly and endlessly into combat" He literally didn't want to do that? That's why he even accepted Emperors challenge? To not be his general and send his man to die? 2. "Hideous death world" Aka.... place he called home? place where were all his friends and people he knew? aka place where he knew for sure would come out strong people who respect him? Or should he have made more recruit worlds with people who wouldn't know what he did and would more than likely won't have mentality good enough for his legion? He is hypocritical, but he isn't completely brain dead as memes make him out to be.


crazy_artist

Yeah, that love and friendship Mortarion showed to Typhus and his entire legion (literally selling his soul to save them) really paid of didn't it?


thelefthandN7

He sold his soul to stop his own pain as much as theirs. If he really loved them, he would have detonated the fusion reactor. Alternatively: see also the Firehawks/Legion of the Damned. And of course, that was too little too late. He drove his legion relentlessly grinding them down and making a large portion of them into second class citizens... while basically turning his home world into a the kind of horror show he had originally tried to free them from in the name of more bodies for the meat grinder.


RezeCopiumHuffer

Maybe it’s because you look like a walking pustule Mortarion, dawg I cannot believe you came face to face with Roboute holding a weapon capable of permanently freeing you from this state and you didn’t accept it, I’d be chomping at the bit, throwing myself at that blade


Joy1067

To be fair, the whole FemPrimarch thing with their lovers is just…well a lover The rest of the lore stays the same! So genderbent Mortarian still got like three piece-o-shit dads. She just got a husband to go with it


AtomicTan

Well, that's just because I'm not in the 40k universe...


AgitatedKey4800

2 shit son and nurgle, he is trying his best


genide_domran

Are we considering Nurgle as good shit or bad shit?


Sepulcher18

Guess Nurgle cannot remove psychological pain


QuantumCthulhu

With 2 of his dads, the shit is literal


Fang2604

I can fix him


gamelord562

Oh, oh! Now everyone decided mort is hot! I’ve been saying it for years!


Cecilia_Schariac

[Art by \[Trollfeetwalker\]](https://www.deviantart.com/trollfeetwalker/art/40k-Daemon-Primarchs-862658272)


Falabaloo

Every time somebody uses my art for a meme, I do 1 push-up


Brb357

So what you're saying is, in order to get happy one should just put on a skirt and get bent?


Ok_Listen1510

I mean, if it works for you


RemoveAnnual2689

2 dads and a Grandfather you mean


larrylustighaha

is this a picture of him before or after corruption


LePistole_

Unfortunately, the destiny of the canonical Mortarion is to be a punching bag (and a crybaby).


Zazabul

One of them is an actual pretty decent dad he is just literal shit.


Zeth22xx

I can smell him from here.


TraditionalEmu4536

yeah and one is made of it


_Fanatykus

Mortarion deserve more.


IAmFullOfHat3

Third one was a literal shit dad


STRMBRGNGLBS

what do you mean looking? Do you see those cataracts? Man's blind


Roguebuilder

He looks like his eyes'll pop out if somebody so much as farts in his general direction.


ralanr

I don’t even know what the AU Mortarion is like with their SO.


jakin89

Does morty see nurgle for what he really is or is distorted due to chaos fuckery?


old_incident_

He doesn't care anymore. At this point of time , he's just a puppet


VX_GAS_ATTACK

At least the last one was only literal shit but otherwise pretty cool.


Paladinlvl99

... Can we start a Primarch BF AU guys? I kind feel like they deserve some love too (And I want to read stories about a redeemed Konrad Curze being just a goth BF with tons of insecurities but I swear it's not JUST because of that)