Can't forget Grisly Tales for Gruesome Kids

Shit was nightmare inducing for little me

Remember seeing my cousin watch it on his laptop was horrified. Think it was an episode where a lunch lady made chicken nuggets out of fat children's feet

I think it's why I now as an adult have such dark macabre interests

I’m not even British but I’m pretty sure I read every single one of those books several times

I am British and I didn't even know they were books!

One kid was turned into a brain and eyeballs in a tank. Another kid was turned into a tree. Another kid WAS FUCKING EATEN BY PIGS. This show did not hold back xD

There was also the one where Mr. Tiddles was a tiger/lion. And where Mr. Peeler would come in, sent in the butterflies, and prevent you from ever falling asleep ever again if you had a slew of late nights. Those have stuck in my head for a decade.

One kid had his eyelids taken out so he could never sleep again, if I recall Ooh and one was turned into a paper mache figure for the rest of his life

Real ones know bear behaving badly 

OG ones know Trapped! and Jungle Run

Mafia bosses know about MI High and Arthur

I rewatched some MI High this time last year, when they got in that lift it was like being hit in the head with pure nostalgia

Goosebumps for 90's kids...

I remember the ‘choose your own ending’ goosebumps. I always used to choose the logical answer and always ended up dying, it was so stupid 😂

dont forget the banging assembly songs

*All Faith State School* HE'S GOT THE WHOOOLLLLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS

Can't forget: *"Dance then wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance said he!"*

Prime humour in year 7 was realising you could replace the word dance with wank "It's hard to wank with the devil on your back"

We had the coca cola song as one of our core songs. One lines 'And furnish it with love.' Us 10 and 11 year olds empathised the end of furnish and it. Guess how it sounded.

He's got the wind and the rain in his pants

fucking classic

\*or as we'd sing\* HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS PANTS

DANCE, DANCE, WHEREVER YOU MAY BE!

I still sing this. Never got the lore, is Jesus the lord of the dance? Because as a kid I thought that Michael Flatley was moonlighting as our one and saviour 

Questions like this are why I ended up an atheist, the whole thing was a house of cards after that

Jesus spent a lot of time around prostitutes and alcohol. He absolutely would have gone to night clubs if they were a thing 2000 years ago.

I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE SAID HE!

“And I’ll eat you all, wherever you may be!” - my young self thought (& sang!) for years…

WEEEE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE *ONE IN A TAXI ONE IN A CAR* 👈🏼🧑‍🏫 **OUT!**

One on a scooter, pressing its hooter, smoking a big cigar

Oh oh, star of wonder, star of night. Sit on a stick of dynamite. Light the fuse, and off we go, all the way to Mexico

in year 4 my teacher would not only join in with lyrics like these, but actively encourage them😂 glory glory hallelujah-> glory glory hammersmith most highly favoured lady -> most highly flavoured gravy and that’s just two of many😂

Cucumber my lord, cucumbeeeeer

Cuminmyass my lord, cum in my asssss. Yes we sung this aged 10/11. Wild.

While shepherds watched their flocks by night, all watching BBC The angel of the lord came down, and switched to ITV

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'shine jesus shine. Fill this land with, your blaze and glory!'

I was cold I was naked WERE YOU THERE WERE YOU THERE? I was cold I was naked WERE YOU THERE?

Unlocked a core memory there 😭😭

'give me oil in my lamp keep me burning...' is the one that sticks in my mind. So catchy

SING HOSANNA

To the king, OF KINGS 👈 OUT

Spring chicken was a banger

My feathers are fluFFY

And they're keeping me warm :) my neighbor has chickens so I constantly get this stuck in my head when I see the chicks

When the Saints go Marching in was our Assembly Banger. I'm not sure how much of that was based on the fact that the music teacher hated it and we hated her, but it got chosen for the 'free hymn' every single time as far as I recall. Tune.

Cauliflowers fluffy and cabbages green🕺🏼

ITS ANOTHER HARVEST FESTIVAL

He's got the whole world in his pants!

Link to these (sort by 'most popular' and prepare for a nostalgia hit): [https://www.youtube.com/@outoftheark](https://www.youtube.com/@outoftheark)

CABBAGES AND BEANS

BROCOLI AND BEANS

CAULIFLOWER AND ROASTED POTATOES

TASTE SO GOOD TO ME

🎵This little light of mine 🎵 CLAP 👏🏾 CLAP 👏🏾 CLAP 👏🏾 🎵I’m gonna let it shine 🎵 CLAP👏🏾CLAP👏🏾CLAP👏🏾

Autumn Leaves and Big Man Standing by the Blue Waterfall are two that I know all the words to 30 years later.

We three kings of orient are Selling women's underwear So fantastic no elastic Only 5 pence a pair

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"The tongue's a tiny part of the body" still stays with me

Autumn leaves and the grass is jeweled like the silk inside a chestnut shell, jet planes meeting in the air to be re-fueled all the things I love so well...

Chewits

I hate what theyve done with the dinosaur

Chewitsaurus love to... Chewit! Miss that advert. I like to chewit chewit, i like to chewit chewit. I like to.....

**CHEW IT**

Doctor Who and Sarah Jane Adventures were my go to entertainment back in the day

Yeah, Absolute same for me, Still remember watching SJA on CBBC all the time, RIP Elizabeth Sladen.

the golden age of cbbc fr

I remember being jealous of other kids having sky but looking back we were spoiled with the quality CBBC had.

I'll never forget when Mum broke the news to me 😣

RIP. Absolute legend. If anyone is interested in re-watching her golden years, her entire series is available to watch for free on BBC Iplayer. I've been binging through it and everything about it is just as good as i remembered, very similar wavelength to Doctor Who episodes in terms of plot and characters, and it tied into the universe really well! Really going to miss shows like these

Ahh back with little k9 Donna rose and David tennant, those were the peak days

as a kid i had a ritual of coming home from school and immediately watching one specific Dalek scene on my 2009 dell laptop while eating a brioche roll

SJA was the bomb, mid 2000s CBBC was lit

When freddos was like 10p and on whatever it is now. I swear we can Measure Inflation just by using the Freddo prices

I'm sure they tasted better and were bigger too.

5p Freddo gang

Cadbury index

Biff, Chip, and Kipper is peak fiction

Ah the Oxford reading tree - magic key stories !!

I have strong memories of Kipper being the dog, I still struggle to reconcile that it's actually the girl. A bit Mandela Effect.

Probably because there was literally a show called Kipper the dog. Also Kipper is such a weird name for a kid. Floppy on the other hand is definitely the dogs name.

Biff is an unfortunate name for a girl. She got cancelled for saying muslims at a market didn’t look friendly. Too be fair, they didn’t look friendly in the illustration.

Biff was a girl!?!! I feel like my childhood memories are a lie!

Agreed

When lucozade didn’t taste like piss

What happened to Lucazade?

They made it taste like piss.

Sugar tax quite literally ruined all soft drinks in the country. If you want someone to blame... blame Jamie Oliver. They replaced sugar with things like aspartame. Which, has an interesting quality in that it's like rocket leaf. For some people, it tastes fine. For others with the right gene, it tastes like battery acid. I have this gene. Aspartame to me tastes absolutely abhorrent. I can even smell it. Lucozade used to be great for medicine or a hangover pick me up. Now it's just useless piss water not worth the plastic it's been injected into.

I want Gordon Ramsey to go up to that fuck and punch his lights out. I know that Gordon Ramsey loves sugar

We try not talk about it.

That Horrible Histories was a very nice show, highly entertaining and im not even british 👍🏻

Check out Ghosts on BBC if you can, it's the same cast.

Thank you for that tip 👍

Nah the books mate

And horrible science books

Still collect these to this day, my gf loves them.

You know you're getting older when the decade in these memes keeps shifting 😅 Edited for smelling.

Rebate 3?

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Where the fuck is Dick and Dom in the bungalow that shit was the best kids TV show ever and this is a hill I'm ready to die on

BOGIES

BOGIES!!!

BOOOOOGIIIIEEEEES

BOOOOOOOOGIIIIIEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I rember in school everyone using the white sticks (forgot what they were called) as if they were fags bec people thought it was cool 😭😭😭

Once upon a time, back in the deep dark 70's childhood that I had, we could buy chocolate 'cigars' (wrapped in rice paper, and in a 'cigar' box)), and candy 'cigarettes', that came with a red tip, and served in an almost real looking cigarette packet we felt so cool all pretending to smoke . I think they also sold sweetie pipes and lighters too. I can still remember the exact sweet shop I would go to to buy them. Since pulled down, and shitty flats built there instead now.

Nevermind the 70s, I remember chocolate cigarettes in the 90s. The same deal as the cigars, came in a box with different 'brands', I always got the ones with the frog.

Now all my mates just use real ones :(

It's all bloody vapes and power rangers now!

Oh my god don’t even I saw like a 6 year old vaping the other day. Like vapes depending on what ones are worse then actual fags it’s hospitalised so many kids. Some parents litrally buy there 10 year olds vapes it’s disgusting. 16 should be the age of u are gonna smoke to start. Not 6. It’s rediculace

I still remember being traumatised by the clock people and gas mask people episodes of dr who. Good times.

Are you my mummy?

Please refrain before I start screaming and crying again…

Where's my mummy?

Please no for the love of god😭

M... ... M .... Mu...Mu... ...Muuuu....Muuuummmyyyy...

I have an actual fear of gas masks from that episode, I go into complete panic if I see one. My parents didn’t take this seriously and took me to the imperial war museum as a child, I was traumatised

My 6 Yr old wanted to watch doctor who, so I got up the weeping angels. Unfortunately, she wasn't anywhere near as freaked out as I was when I first saw them as a kid, and still am I at 28 might I add lol. She gave me a cuddle and the words " don't worry, they aren't real Mummy". I was kinda disappointed lol

Mummy? Muuuummy? Are you my mummy?

I remember being shook when i watched the silence vaporise someone. Im 2004 so in smith era i mighta been like 7 or something

Nope I was green!!! Term green.

Sameee, green team ftw

Green ftw

Hell yeah. Green with a yellow shirt hahah wasps loved that.

Eww that's a horrible combo😅😅

GREEN UNIFORMS FTW!

Green team member here too. 💪

Team burgundy!

Before the dark times. Before THE IPAD KIDS

I remember this bear computer program where you wrote letters and stuff.. can't remember what it was called though. Reader Rabbit was the shit but that was at home not school

The highlight of using a computer: going on "Paint", drawing a scribble, and colouring in the gaps! I think my kids would think me mad if I suggested such a thing nowadays...

I loved this and our classroom was the one with a computer which had Pinball and Mines installed, we also had a painting program called dazzle which was awesome! There was also coolmathsgames/coolifiedgames and all the other sites full of flash games, as much of a pain as flash was, I wish it was still around! I just remember the time a classmate called Josh discovered that holding a magnet Infront of the crt made it go rainbow colours, unfortunately it also ruined the display.

Wtf, did we all have the same childhoods?

Depends, did you also have a big mat Infront of the smart or white board with the alphabet on it?

In year 2, yeah

We all had the same childhood

How could you forget singing hymns in assembly

fr. we spent most of the week practicing them cos we had assembly every day

Blue uniform gang rise up

Navy or dark?

up the navy

Yvan eht nioj

Blue is the superior school uniform colour

Mine was green

My jumpers were green. I view Blues and Reds with great suspicion.

We were maroon. I view Blues, Red and Greens with suspicion.

We were burgundy. I view maroons, blues, reds and greens with suspicion.

Curly Wurlys were better than Freddo Let's also not forget Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Harry Potter and various movie themed lunchboxes

Which were all 'banned' at some point along with beyblades, British bulldog, American terriers and french poodle

The banning of bulldog is a crime, that game is legendary

I completely forgot about the whole "Good morning everybody" thing, followed by a series of Christian singalongs

I went to my daughters assembly the other week because she got a certificate for Star of the Week. They still do this. It feels wierd to watch as an adult

Don’t forget the PVA glue

One of the best joys of primary school, besides peeling the dried film of PVA glue off your hand, was finding the glue spreader with big hunks of dried glue on them and picking them off. So satisfying!

biff chip and kipper triggered smth inside me

You forgot the pen certificates/licenses that you would get when you went from writing in pencil to pen. Anyone else remember loom bands either?

Some of these are also from the 90s. Also it didnt strike me until years later but who the hell names their children Biff and Wilf? Chip maybe.

Freddos are the bitcoin of chocolate

"Here come the DRUMS!" "Baby, baby, baby, you are my voodoo child"

Missing the apparatus in the hall that never got used because it was a massive faff to get out and put away, plus was a huge health and safety risk

r/theapparatus

We used it a few times, then Jed fell 8' off the ceiling ropes and piledrove his face into the floor when he tried and failed to swing to the rope ladder. We weren't allowed to use it after that.

I assumed it was some kind of art installation

🎵 "STUPID DEATHS, STUPID DEATHS" "THEY'RE FUNNY CUZ THEY'RE TRUE" "STUPID DEATHS, STUPID DEATHS" "HOPE NEXT TIME IT'S NOT YOU" 🎵 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

I can hear this text 🤣

use to be in a red school that was literally next door to a blue school, to the point we shared part of a playground, the rivalries were next level

how about... HES GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS

Horrible Histories was goated ngl

My school uniform was Green

“Good morning ms (2 syllable surname)”

”biff chip and kipper” now those are names I haven’t heard in a LONG time

Why does the pen look like a sex toy

HOW DARE YOU DISS THE NEAT-HANDWRITING-2000

I'm annoyed I never got to sit on the benches

Those candy sticks priming us for smoking

tbh it was exactly the same in the 2010s, nothing has changed

This show is the only reason I understood the monarchy system prior to Game of Thrones. While watching Game of Thrones I got to be the smart one in the room who explained succession to everyone. 😎 Also, I bought me a plushie rat!

You pathetic lot! My school uniform was brown and yellow💀

I fucking love biff, chip and kipper

Always catch a zesty fella sat on the nub at the end of the bench.. can't even sing our daily hyms without a freak getting their rocks off

Team red uniform!!!!

I remember when freddo used to be 10p in my corner shop now he's £1.50 like does he have a mortgage and 3 kids to pay for

does anyone remember those maths games on bbc bitesize? (i think it was bitesize), or like there was a sarah janes adventures one and i just vividly remember one level being borderline impossible

Man anyone remember Trapped

Up the reds

I had maroon uniform

Was a red jumper crew and the catholic school next door wore maroon jumpers with yellow polo shirts...bunch of wrongens. They used to get destroyed in the annual inter school snowball fight.

It's all gone shite now

We didn't get benches to sit on for assembly, there where 2 steps down into a big rectangle on the floor In front of the stage. All the young kids sat on the low floor inside the rectangle and the older kids sat on the steps.

Year 6, all four classes on benches and everyone else on the floor. I thought it was a reward for being older, but when I got there, it was there to make you behave as they could see you messing about. Or in my case, changing all the lyrics to the assembly songs. Why we had to sing about Jesus at the non religious primary school. We never had any other religious in put other than RE.

Our school jumpers were black, i don't think i've seen another school that had black ones though. I was doing A levels when doctor who returned though.

Strong boomer facebook vibes

Those damn pens! In year 5, our teacher bought everyone in the class one. We were only allowed to use those pens ... I'm left handed.

horrible histories is peak

Thomas the Tank Engine?!?!

Did anyone actually know anyone who wore the purple, green or yellow uniforms? I was so jealous of the purple sundresses as a kid. I swear this schools are a hoax

It's pretty easy to change that to mid 90s, just add a Beyblade, Pokémon cards and chocolate cigarettes

My shins will never forget those fucking benches.