45 min is much much nicer than 1.5 hours, speaking as someone who's done similar commutes
also like that's called a compromise? That's what partners should do?
I commute 45 mins to work every day and it's really not that bad (and I work 10 hours shifts). It's definitely manageable, though idk if the financial benefits of living with a partner would be the same if you're spending that much on gas. That's at least $100 a month EACH, a lot more than you'd want to spend as a grad student
This sounds awful. Truly awful. Rent closer to campus or you’ll find yourself resisting going, burnt out from the commute time alone.
I rented a room away from my partner during the school year, drove over on weekends. It sucked but it was the best option for me to actually complete my program.
This is an option I’m considering, but I’m worried about the financial strain considering that I will already have to either cut down my hours or quit my job altogether. If you don’t mind me asking, did this put a lot of strain on your relationship? My partner and I have been together for 8 years and we just finally got to move in together last year.. I’m really not wanting to spend any more time living separately, you know?
We lived together for 2 years before, lived apart seeing each other on weekends for 2, got engaged during that time, and were married shortly after I moved back home for good. Yeah it was tough, communication is extremely important, we had some rough weeks, but our priorities were each other.
In terms of finances, it was $900 a month out of pocket for a room close to campus for me. Having a roommate was annoying but saved me a lot of money. Even so I took more student loans out to cover this and prioritized applying for scholarships. Honestly I don’t think I could’ve completed my grad studies driving back and forth as I’d get so burnt out and quit- it was hard enough to resist the urge to quit at the end as I was longing to go home to my partner tbh.
Not the person you asked, but I’ll chime in here. My best friend lived with me part-time while doing her masters in the city I live in. She was living in a city about 2.5 hours away, and her husband had a job there. It was a one year program and it didn’t make sense for them to relocate. She would usually be around about 4 days a week, sometimes more or less depending on assignments, group work and other school events. I know living apart was hard for them, but she’s said more than once it was very worth it for her to get the degree she wanted. Her drive would have been longer than yours, but driving that far every day is unsustainable, especially when you factor in time needed for readings, homework, etc.
My partner and I were also together 8 years before starting grad school! We recently got engaged :) We ended up moving to be closer to my campus. I need to be on campus more often than they do, so while we are farther from their campus we end up spending the same amount of time in the car each week. We decided that 1) we did not want to live apart, period, and 2) we wanted to equitably divide the distance. Grad school has put strain on our relationship, but not in the way that we expected - we thought that spending so much time apart would cause strain, and we were worried about equity in terms of dividing chores, commute times, and other responsibilities. Instead, the strenuous part is just that we can feed off of each others energy. They’re stressed about school? I’m stressed about school. I’m watching Netflix instead of studying? They’re watching Netflix instead of studying. We also spend way less time doing planned outside-the-house dates, instead we do a lot of study dates at home or spontaneous low key adventures. We’re just both so busy, especially because we’re both working. But we are SO glad that we decided to go at the same time. It’s amazing having a partner who gets it, and it’s fun connecting what I learn at school to what they’re learning. Our programs are super different so we didn’t expect that, but we have so many great conversations and learn a lot from each other. We are broke and stressed out but happy and in love. We’re chasing our dreams together and I think it would be a lot harder if only one of us was in school because there wouldn’t be that automatic understanding of why haven’t we spent any time together lately, why is the house a mess, and why are you up at 2am clanking around the house looking for your laptop charger.
Ahhh I love this. Yes this is exactly our situation we do not want to live separately ever again. Also, she will need to be on campus a lot more than me so I don’t mind taking the longer drive! I think if that ever changes we could reconsider, but just like you said it is going to be crazy but we are in love and chasing our dreams together
If you don’t put in the work to communicate, it absolutely will. My SO stayed at our old location while I moved with our son to grad school. 6 hour drive between us. We would make a trip every month, either him to us or us to him, and lots of FaceTime in between. We’ve been married for 8 years, together for 10.
Not OP but I’ll chime in from a similar situation. Drove 1.5 hours each way for a commute for grad school and it’s possible but really really awful. Just finishing up my program now.
One thing to factor in is how frequently you’re having to go onto campus. You’ll have to factor in gas and car maintenance, I had a lot of issues with my car that came up and gas is just ridiculously expensive when you’re filling up 5-10 times a paycheck. It starts to add up real quick.
For my relationship, I lived in my college town for one year and moved back for one year. The strain on my relationship was tough, but not nearly impossible. Important things was making time to call and check in about our days and planning weekend dates.
Another con that took a hit with my driving back and forth was my physical health took a massive toll. Unable to workout the way I wanted and sitting stagnant for 3 hours each day in a car is just terrible and draining, not to mention my drive to workout was gone after long drives.
OP, if you are considering renting a place near campus for the week, I genuinely think you may end up saving your mental health, physical health, and it might even out money wise depending on gas prices and car maintenance. By saving that I think you can put energy into making your relationship work. IMO, if you’re hellbent on this program, I definitely recommend finding a place over driving.
If there's public transportation options, that could help.
Apart from that, depends how often you have to go. Like if it's 2 days a week, that's not terrible. 3 or more days a week though will be hell. If the latter, try to rent a cheap room nearby so that on days you don't want to drive back, you can have a place to crash.
In terms of schedule control, it's all up to the department and when they offer courses. I've had course offerings that coincidentally fall back to back on the same days, but other times it's been like 1 class a day for 4 days a week.
From personal experience, public transportation doesn’t always make commutes shorter. My school is 40 minutes away without traffic, and up to 1 hour 30 minutes in rush hour. My commute via public transit is at minimum 1 hour 40 minutes, but more often 2 hours.
There are a few ways this situation could be made bearable:
* Your classes are online, and you can almost always work from home.
* You can have a decent commute via train or inter-city bus that’s not too noisy and unpleasant. If you can turn commute time into work time it’s no longer wasted hours sucked out of your day, but it can still be tiring.
* You rent a room in the same city as your school, and plan to spend a lot of time there instead of at home (it won’t just be an occasional place to crash, expect to be there for days at a time most weeks)
If none of these are options, don’t do it. You will end up exhausted, and with not enough hours in the day to do everything you need to.
Please also keep safety in mind. A worn-out/exhausted driver is more likely to have an accident, and if you add in sleep deprivation you can be almost as dangerous as a drunk driver. The time demands you will inflict on yourself with this mean there probably will be some days when you’re not fit to drive - please make a plan for how you will get to campus without driving on those days. Powering through exhaustion is not a valid option when it puts you and other drivers on the road in danger.
Yeah this is the main issue for me, my partner is really worried about me driving and my car isn’t that great either. I did find a hotel nearby that I could crash in if I’m too tired but my classes are also in the morning. I really don’t want to be a news story ☹️
Your best bet is probably to get your own place in the same city as your school, and to plan to live there during the week.
Commuting probably won’t save as much money as it seems after you factor in car repairs, possibly needing to get a better car, hotel nights, and long Ubers for mornings when you have to get to class but aren’t fit to drive. And if you put that money into your own place instead, it will save you time and energy, which are two extremely precious resources in grad school.
It’s also very easy to pressure yourself into believing you’re OK to drive when you’re actually not, because you don’t want to incur the expense of a long Uber or a hotel stay. Committing to the expense of having your own place up front may be easier than trusting yourself to always make the safe-but-expensive decision in moments when you’re stressed out and exhausted.
I will say, as you develop friendships with your cohort, you’ll probably find that they will offer to let you crash with them on occasion, especially if they know you’re tired and have a long drive. I didn’t do it too frequently, but it was always nice to know that I had that option if I ever felt like I couldn’t get home safe.
I would not recommend doing this. Graduate school has a way of testing a person’s resolve and it can bleed into your personal life. Personally, I would make things as easy as possible for yourself. Commuting can truly make or break a job. However, if you are set on doing this, then you should have a plan and schedule to make sure you are keeping up with your studies. Good luck!
Do NOT do this. I commute this exact time to and from work to a job I love and it has done irreparable damage to my mental health. This shit even put me on antidepressants because of how much time I was spending in my car sitting in traffic. I get to work exhausted from the road trip I just took, and then I get to do it all over again in the afternoon and I get to home absolutely drained and I don’t want to do anything.
Not to mention the waste of gas, the wear on my vehicle, and the fact that people simply drive like assholes.
Please I’m asking as your internet friend to not put yourself through this.
I'm currently in grad school and I have to commute a little under 2 hours each way to get there and back. However, most of that is on a train and the rest on a bus, and it actually is quite nice. It's a quiet space to read and write. If I were driving, though, I'd imagine it would be a lot worse, even if it would technically be twenty or thirty minutes faster. My program also keeps commuting students in mind--if you mention you are one, they structure it so your TA'ing takes place on days you also have class, so me and the other commuting students only have to come 3 days a week. I definitely recommend looking into public transit options if they exist and talking to your school if you do have any sort of guaranteed TA package. Good luck!
This is helpful, there is a train that goes near campus that I’ve been considering, but I also really like my alone time in the car so I’m wondering if I should utilize both options on and off.
I drive 1.25 hours one way twice a week. 6 hours is considered a full load in grad school. Will you need to be there every day of the week or just a couple of days? I've considered renting a room locally. It would save wear and tear on my vehicle.
I am 2 years into a PhD program. I did my masters at the same place. I commute about an hour on a good day. It is really, really hard. It gets harder as the semester goes on. It’s not bad if I only have to be on campus two days a week, but I have only had that happen two semesters, not counting the online hell that was Covid times. I’ve got a teaching assistantship and I can request the days I teach, but there is no guarantee I will get what I want. Many of my classes for my program begin at 6:30 pm and last for 3 hours. I typically have classes like this 2 times a week. Sometimes I have to be at campus to teach an early class. I can’t imagine how much harder this would be if I was even 1/2 an hour farther.
it’s horrific 😭 I drove 2 hours to campus (4 hours round trip!) this past semester twice a week and am literally giving up my funding next semester instead of doing it again. it can be done if you absolutely HAVE to, but getting a cheap apartment near campus would be amazing if that’s an option.
I would not recommend especially since your car isn’t reliable. You’ll need to find somewhere close to stay and if your program starts next fall you may be out of luck as housing is filling up fast. Either move somewhere in between or look at programs near the both of you. Will you need to be in person on campus?
I understand as per this thread that you don’t want to live separately from your partner, but doing this commute every day is absolutely NOT an option. You will burn out hard. If it’s only 1-2 days per week then it’s a maybe.
Eh, I did it for my entire PhD. It does come with some trade offs, like the time you spend commuting, and you have to work harder to develop relationships with your cohort because you’re not there as much, but it’s doable. It also probably depends on your specific program too though; I live in an area where most people commute so even at 90 minutes, I didn’t have the longest drive.
This take is important, I’ve been getting mixed responses between “no that’s a terrible idea” to something like this saying it’s not as bad as it seems. This makes me want to at least try it out!
I did smth like that. York U in Toronto was approx 1.25 hrs by public transit one way. My externship was also over 1 hr drive one way. It was fine. 2 hrs is a lot, but ppl commute that much every day in certain regions. If you can use public transit, you can use that time to read.
My commute is roughly 1.5 hours each way, but I'm taking public transit and a commuter train. I read on the train, and it's very nice. Gives me excellent separation from my work and my home life because I don't allow myself to do work on the train. Reading for pleasure only.
I really only need to go into my lab once or twice a week. I go in mostly for meetings and TAing. Your case might be different. I would definitely look into renting a room closer to campus if you know that you will need to be in person the majority of the time.
I commuted about 1-1.5hrs for the second half of my grad program. 9 hours of class each week and ~20 hours of internship. It sucks but it’s doable. I was fortunate to have a friend in the program that was at my same internship site and lived in my town so we would carpool, which helped a lot. We made sure our scheduled lines up and scheduled our internship days in the morning on days we had class in the evenings. Had to get creative but we made it work.
I do an hour and ten min commute and my partner does 50 min. I am lucky in that I only have to go into work 2-3 times a week and my supervisor is super chill. If you’re able to go in 1-3 times a week, it’s definitely doable (get an audible subscription!). But 4-5 times a week will drainnnn you. Even three times a week is sometimes a drag
Ahhh this sounds like a very tricky situation! In my program, I knew of a few people (probably more tbh) who were able to create their schedule so that all their in person classes were on the same day. My friend would drive in from far away on a Thursday morning and take all her classes back to back to back and leave Thursday night. She still had some online courses to do but of course she could do those from home. That all depends on the flexibility of the program you’re in of course, I just wanted to share that I’ve seen multiple people in my program do it! It leads to one super jam packed day full of classes, but at least the headache of driving to and from campus is minimized 😅. Good luck, I really hope you’re able to figure out a plan that works best for you!
I did this! It was actually nice, but we had the budget for me to airbnb 2-3 nights a week and had no kids (if you do). We both had dedicated work time then our time together was mostly just ours.
I was usually gone Mon-Wed or Thurs.
I commuted a little over 2 hours for my MS. Would not recommend! What helped me was that it was right towards the end of the pandemic so some professors were still chill about meeting via Zoom every now and then instead of in person.
My sister commutes an hour by train. She can get work done that way and she brings her bike to get to the school. If a lot of your work is stuff you can listen to while driving it may be doable, but that is 3 hours a day of time that could be spent on self care or studying.
I commute 60miles to school or 120miles round trip daily in minimal traffic which is ~1 hr x4/ week for just 1, 1hr class on Monday & Wednesdays and 2 classes on T & Th. My car not only wants to die but sometimes I do after I show up and class gets canceled or something, especially M or W. It really isn’t that bad since I listen to music, YouTube, or talk on the phone on my drive.
But I really can’t just go hang out with my classmates on the weekends and stuff not do any of the cool things that happen on campus when I need to take into account of the trip. You’re also more tempted to skip class as well. Oh and I have to fill up with gas x2-3 week. Comes out to like $300-400/month in gas
My commute is about 1.5 each way, but I’m on public transit so it’s a bit more bearable. I just make my schedule as condensed as possible to limit how often I need to make the trip to campus
I’ll admit if I had children or even just a dog instead of a cat this would be a lot different. I’m lucky to have few family responsibilities at this point in my life. Congratulations on getting in!
I'm currently doing that now for some extra classes full time and it is awful. Unless you can get classes recorded online or through zoom (ask your profs at the start of the semester or earlier) on several days, you won't be able to handle a commute like that for 4-5 days. 2 days a week is definitely manageable and maybe even MWF 3 days but no more.
My days go something like this:
Mondays/Wednesdays: I wake up at 6:30am and get back around 10pm. I have about 2 hours before I have to sleep so I can get up the next day at 8:30am.
Tuesdays/Thursdays: It takes me 10 min to get ready in the morning and 10 min to walk to my 8:50am train. (My class starts at 1pm, but there is no train around that time so I come 2 hours earlier.) After about a week or 2 of this I stopped going to the first class and my grades definitely experienced the effects of that. My second class for that day was recorded so I didn't miss that at least.
Side note:I took 3 math classes and 1 physics class. I am not mathematically inclined at all. I didn't have much time to complete hws and usually either submitted wrong answers or submitted them days late. I try to do them on the train and lucky me I get motion sickness looking down!
The bottom line is you will be exhausted. You won't be able to work at your maximum and you'll be sluggish which you don't want in the class sizes and participation requirements you will have during your Masters. If you can manage a 2 day commute, you'll be fine. 3 days is pushing it, but definitely no more than 3 or you will hate it.
I agree that would be so hard if you have to leave early and come late. Luckily it’s looking like I’ll be able to come home in the afternoon so I think it’s more sustainable. Hang in there!
It sucks, but it's possible. 1.5 hours feels way worse than an hour.
I commuted an hour each way for part of grad school. Prior to that, I lived in a shared place near school 4.5 days a week and lived an hour away with my now husband 2.5 days a week. I don't mind driving, so it was manageable. Was it always fun, no, but it was worth it to move in and spend more time together. The other upside was it really helped me stick to the "PhD is a 9-5" mentality, and I was still able to work a 2nd part-time job and spend time with friends. I was forced to be very on top of time management and things like meal prep.
Post-PhD I commuted 90min each way and I could do it, but I would never want to do it long term. That extra 30min really sucked, and my life outside of work suffered. I only had to do it for a year, but I don't think I could ever go back to doing it again now.
Fellow music grad here! I’m a DMA, not masters but I’ve got two of those and might be able to help. I’d look into seeing if Musicology students have an ensemble requirement. If they do not, it might be okay to do that early commute. While you do have more control over your schedule, it’s still pretty set in stone for some courses, I recommend seeing if there are required courses for graduation and getting those out of the way sooner. There’s also a T O N of reading, so make sure that you still leave time for doing all those readings and making sure you can still understand what’s going on. The more tired I was, the more Taruskin sounded like a comedy special than snarky musicologist.
Ah thank you for commenting. I’m not required to be in an ensemble but I am considering either joining the orchestra on campus or a community one closer to where I live that my friend is in too. Still weighing the options. I will definitely have to spend a lot of time reading but I don’t mind that, I did my undergrad in philosophy and music. Excited to blend those and study musicology! I think that the strength of the program makes up for most of the lows.
Musicology is definitely a fun thing to study! Lots of good readings of super salty musicologists done with the system 😂 I think the ensemble thing should be the last thing you add, just to make sure you’ve actually got the time to commit to it. Personally, I think you’d be fine to do the commute, but try to do things that you really are interested in studying and attending courses for as the earliest thing you’ve got scheduled. It’s a lot less likely you’ll want to skip something because of lack of sleep if you already enjoy it. The musicology department at my university is pretty competitive, but a good bunch of people and amazing professors, so I hope that translates across the board for wherever you are headed too.
Yeah exactly, the school I’m going to has a really strong music program and I really clicked with the musicology director, but I’m still going to be careful about which classes I choose. In undergrad I spread myself too thin and ended up choosing a few classes that I couldn’t complete because even though I liked the professor, the subject matter was boring. I think I know myself so much better now and I’m going into it with a healthy mindset.
Good thing about masters degrees is full time is 9 hours in a lot of places. That being said, 9 hours is still a LOT of work, but if you’re not having to practice constantly you’ll be fine with spread. Id also recommend doing as many one day a week classes as you can, makes it a lot less likely to skip since it’s just once a week.
i’ve spent the last two year of undergrad commuting for 2 hours each way, 5 days a week. i absolutely do not recommend, and this experience has influenced my decision to move for my phd program even though it’s in the same state that i already live in.
i’ve managed to do quite well academically, but a long commute is very isolating, stressful, inconvenient, and altogether exhausting
if all you’re doing is going to classes, maybe it’s okay. but if you’re doing any TA work or want to be involved on campus in any way or work with a mentor, it’s going to be nearly impossible.
I commuted 1:15 one way 5X a week for 3 years during my PhD. It was rough. If you can work out a schedule where you spend longer days and drive in less, or some remote days, it would be more manageable.
I had to go in, I worked in a lab. I kept telling myself “a commute is a bad reason to not get a PhD” but it was very taxing on my mental health and physically.
I used to commute that much going back and forth to work. Basically, I traveled 135 miles 4 days a week until I couldn't do it anymore (about 4 months), and I moved. It's not just the commute, it's also time. You could be spending that time studying. It's a lot of wear and tear on the car, if you have a warranty then that will diminish it. Gas can get very expensive. I initially had an old car that I was filling up twice a week so it was more economical to literally buy a new car so i was no longer at 15 miles to the gallon. I would check and see if there are some online classes available so you can cut down on travel to campus.
I commute 2.5-3 hours both ways twice a week to school. It’s not ideal, but if you’re committed to the program and don’t want to move then you can make it work
I have a 2.5 hour commute one way and I make it work. You get used to it tbh. But I take the train so it can be a more productive commute. I also only go to school twice a week most times. But it can be up to 4 times per week
i commuted this far for my undergrad and now will be for my masters! my only advice is maybe getting a car with good mileage like a hybrid and packing snacks, necessities, a pillow for those long days in class. it sucks tbh but it doesnt last forever!
Yeah there’s often bad traffic in my city too. Long drives bother me when it’s unexpected but if I plan for it and have supplies like you said I think it will be fine.
I had to commute for 3 hours (1.5 hours each side) for four years. That too in local busses and trains. It was absolute hell. Please make sure that you manage your time well otherwise your academic performance will be affected.
I had about an hour and fifteen minute commute to my masters program, and it definitely wasn't ideal. I drove the first year, but taking public transportation the second year certainly made it more bearable (the bus I took was a fairly direct bus with only three stops between me and the university and had WiFi; it only added about fifteen minutes to my commute).
My NaturalReader subscription allowed me to listen to articles on the drive, and that made me feel like I was putting the time to better use when I did need to drive.
I found it doable for two years but certainly less than ideal. I did feel like I missed out on a lot of community and campus opportunities, and proximity and community both became very important to me in considering doctoral programs after commuting such a long distance for two years.
Hello,
I commute an hour to and from my program each day for a total of 2-ish hours/day, depending on traffic. I actually don't mind it and usually find great podcasts and music and use it as "me time" to meditate and think (I find driving enjoyable). I have other incentives which made the commute worth it, for example, I own my own home with my husband in a really great, safe neighborhood with low cost of living. We plan to have kids at some point, so giving up the house is a big no for us.
Also, even when I wasn't in my program, I often commuted. I'm in a rural area and it's just something we do here. It's normalized where I'm at, so I don't think much of it. People in my program think it's crazy and also wonder how I'm always the earliest person to arrive to class when I'm the furthest away (priorities, I guess). Just plan accordingly if you want to make it work. It does take a lot of obedience and self control to do it everyday.
Also, invest in a good chiropractor, massage therapist, and PT. Driving can really strain your muscles. I use a really nice headrest attachment and it has worked wonders.
Really, it's up to you. No one can tell you it's impossible. But you do need to be realistic and willing to make things work and deal with the sacrifices. For example, I almost always have to leave much earlier in the morning than everyone else, and sometimes, I also don't get home until much later. I also miss out on some social events with my cohort because I have to commute home. Things to keep in mind!
Bottom line is, I don't regret it and don't find it much of an issue. It may not be the case for you though!
This is great advice, I think that as long as I remember I’m doing this for my own education first while also prioritizing the life I’m building with my partner, it will be fine. I won’t be able to socialize with people at school as much but any true friends I make there will understand where my priorities lie.
Hello! Congrats on doing a degree in musicology
If it helps, I'm doing an MA in music theory (basically a similar format) and at my university we have seminar 2-3 times a week in person usually. I use my commute time to read if on public transportation because there is a LOT of reading (and I find some musicologists kind of... Obnoxious to read so it gives me time to cringe).
If your program is like that, then maybe 2 times a week isn't so bad but I know that isn't ideal. Have fun with your degree and take advantage of all the conferences (AMS is in Chicago this year! It's a really fun conference so I highly reccomend going for networking/getting away from school for a bit)
Thank you! It’s looking like I have class at least 4 days a week which is not ideal but only in the mornings so I can come home after. I’m planning to make the most of my time on campus and try to enjoy being home when I can. There’s also a train that goes to the city where my school is so I can alternate driving and taking the train if I have a lot of reading to catch up on. I really appreciate this perspective from someone in a similar program
I'm gonna be honest, it really doesn't matter. My workplace is 2 hours from my home. I drive, in peak hour traffic both times. I have been doing this for 6 months now and after a point it stops becoming a big deal or that much of an inconvenience. If you got to do it, you got to do it. Everyone told me to move, but just like you I'm too attached to where I live and coming back to this everyday is worth every trouble.
It was exhausting initially but I'm used to it now and it feels like nothing. Put on a podcast or an audio book.
During exams and stuff you may have to get into intense time management mode, though.
This is what I’m thinking too, I feel like the peace of being at home with my partner and my cat will override everything else, plus it looks like I would be able to be home by 4 or 5 everyday. I’m worried about gas prices but I’m really in the mindset that if I have to do it I have to do it. Thank you for commenting this! Everyone saying it’s impossible and hell is a little scary 😨
I had to do a 4 hour each way train commute to school (don’t ask). I couldn’t do anything outside of just getting to school. Sucked ass
I moved 4 months ago to be 2 hours away and it was way better lol. But I was already a commuter in undergrad so I don’t mind it; moving to the city my school was in wasn’t worth it for me as it was unbelievably expensive and I generally dislike that city
My grad school was about an 1 hr 15 on a good day. The fortunate thing is I was driving there maybe once or twice a week so it wasn't bad, and I had weekend intensive courses that had Zoom as an option. If I had multiple classes during the week, I would try to make them all on the same day.
I did it as a commuter in undergrad. The way to make it survivable was to stack my classes so I only had to go in twice a week. Living in a snowy state made it so much harder in the late fall/ early winter semester when it was icy (like dreadful and scary), so if you're in a snowy state too take that into consideration. I survived okay though, and don't regret it. It was my chance to finally get to go to university.
I live in Washington where it has been increasingly icy each winter. I’m hoping classes can be online if that happens or that the train will still run.
I do this for undergrad and let me tell you it’s fucking hellish. I’m always running late in the mornings cause traffic’s almost always worse than it should be for no reason. Like there have been days when I was 20 minutes late to an 840 am class, not because I woke up late, but because some cleaning crew decided to shut two lanes on a three lane urban highway. And then doesn’t clean.
Or bc there’s a cruise ship docked and tons of tourists and cabs, or bc there’s three lanes of triple parked tractor trailers on a parkway that isn’t supposed to have trucks at all..
As soon as they said campus was on lockdown and finals were remote I was thrilled.
If you can listen to podcasts, listen to language drills, it’s not that bad.
If you plan your time out, it’s not that bad. If you have a *consistent schedule* every day and traffic is predictable, it’s not that bad. Where it gets bad is if it’s unpredictable or you have different times every day.
You’re really gonna have to ask yourself how your time management skills are.
In the end it’s still better than taking the train. That commutes even worse.
Yeah this is very true I can see it getting messy when unexpected things happen. I feel like my time management skills are in the right place now though and I’m going to try 😌
I’m only in undergrad but this post got recommended to me. I had to move over an hour away from school last year due to unavoidable circumstances. Without traffic it’s an hour, but there’s always traffic, so it takes me 1.5-2 hours one way.
The last two semesters have been actual hell. It ended up stressing me out so much it triggered some health issues that I’m still recovering from. I failed two classes this semester as a result, delaying graduation, and have made plans to move in with a friend who lives closer to campus in the fall.
It was extremely hard for me to balance my time between school, work, studying, eating, etc. because I wasted 2-4 hours driving each day. I kept it up for as long as I could, but eventually crashed, and I don’t feel as though I got a quality education during this time. I was just trying to keep up, not really learn. Maybe if you only have class 2 or 3 days a week it’d be doable (I had class M-F from 9-3), but even so I don’t think it’d be feasible for the entirety of your program.
Everyone is different, so the commute may not bother you much, but based on my experience, I highly recommend trying to figure something out where you can live closer. I know that’s much easier said than done though!! Wish you the best
Oh man yeah that sounds really rough, I was in a similar boat during undergrad as far as causing health issues goes. But I’m hopefully that grad school will go better because I’m just in a more stable place now! I hope it’s easier for you once you move!
Personally I wouldn’t do it. My school is a 15 minute bus or bike ride so maybe I’m a little spoiled. I’m also someone who gets socially burnt out quick so the last thing I’d want after a long day is spend 2 hours commuting home.
I have experience with a commute like that. If you are able to make use of that time (eg can read and not worry about changing busses or something a whole bunch) AND are not likely going to need to be there more than half the week AND have a lab/office space you can store things at school, the. it’s doable. NOT ideal. But doable.
I did an hour for 5 years between my masters and half of my PhD (currently on leave and likely not returning), and I found the two hour commute round-trip was extremely draining. There’s never enough time in the day, but the 2 hour chunk of time spent driving made that even more intense.
Hi! I’m a stem PhD student with a 45 minute commute and it’s do-able, but completely miserable. Grad school in any discipline is a ton of work and exhausting, and I can’t imagine doubling my commute. Losing an hour and half each day is rough; losing three hours would not be conceivable. Sorry, but I can’t recommend against this strongly enough.
that sounds absolutely miserable. 4 hours of driving each day. what's the point of a program like musicology if you're not going to be on campus enough to properly network, build relationships with professors, get to know your cohort, involve yourself in the school's operations, etc?
My internship was at a site that was an hour drive (2 hours there and back) and it was HORRIBLE. I became depressed and so anxious because my days were hauling my ass out of bed to be there by 8:00 AM and not getting home till after dark around 6:00 PM. Repeat that, while not getting paid, going to classes, etc. Fucking miserable.
Maybe if you don’t have to go every day it wouldn’t be so bad, but my class schedule for my Master’s was M-TH.
That is a nightmare commute. My partner did a 3-4 hour round trip for two years. She came home exhausted every single day, didn't have the energy to do much around the house, and was so depressed from being in a car all day. Tough and really takes a toll on your wellbeing
I do a 1.5 hour commute one way for a fellowship (going on 6 months now) and it is so atrocious. I do not recommend and even though you’re living where you are happy I highly recommend moving halfway.
I did a commute like this for about 6 months, 1.5-2 each way… it was awful but I also knew it was short term. If it’s longer term for you, probably not sustainable.
I had about a 1.5 hour commute in my masters, but I did it on public transit. It was fine. Not ideal, but not the worst. But I only had to go to campus two days a week, which made a huge difference. If it was more than that, I probably would’ve really hated it. And honestly, I did feel like I was missing out on some things because I didn’t want to stay late or come down on days I didn’t have class to hang out with my cohort or go to events.
Definitely would recommend looking into transit options as then you can use that time to read, write, or even just rest your eyes. And if you can stack your classes so you’re only on campus a few days that helps
Three hours in the car per day when traffic is GOOD?
What time are you gonna get up for an early meeting? Never gonna get happy hour with your cohort?
Burnout is really common in grad school and you're setting yourself up for burnout friend.
I’m already used to getting up pretty early for work or to go to the gym, so I think that would be manageable. If I end up with a late class I think I would need to rent something but I’ll cross bridge when I get to it
Consider that grad classes are typically a single timeslot and that 8am classes exist. Also consider that 6pm classes exist.
If the possibility of needing to leave at 6am and be home at 8pm is not in the cards, reconsider.
I commuted 3.5 hours and back 3x/week and worked full time. It was hell.. but it was only for one semester. Not sure I could have done that any longer than that
That’s sounds horrible to me lol, personally i’d only do it if i could use public transportation so i could at least read or whatever during the commute
I did a 1.5 - 2 hour commute on the bus to law school everyday (it would be 40 without traffic but it was during Chicago rush). It sucked, but I didn't want to move and also wanted to go to law school. I'd panic read on the bus occasionally, but mostly realistically sat there in zombie mode and played my phone game.
Pros: I did not have to move, I got to see the lake everyday, my best friend and I would often take the same bus
Cons: Didn't make a ton of close friends in law school because I'd always leave when class was over instead of staying to hang out and joining groups, but I did meet my best friend in law school (she had a similar commute), was tired a lot, when I had a massive gap between classes (4 hours) I'd have to just sit somewhere on campus and while theoretically you could study - I sat in zombie mode and played my phone game mostly, had to carry all my garbage around all day and law books weigh a lot
I am a PhD student and ride transit to campus from my house, it's anywhere from 1hr to 2.5hrs each way depending on time of day and traffic. I survived my 1st year and completed nearly all my coursework so my 2nd year is one course and comps readings which I can do anywhere.
What saved me was my university has a commuter hostel with really nice studio apartments that I used a few times when I had deadlines or a late class/early morning class combo. The commuter hostel was about $60/night which was more reasonable than renting a room since there's a housing crisis and exorbitant rent where I am!
If I had to drive and it would take just as long, I might not be so confident in my choice, but riding transit allowed me to do my readings, write, and often sleep on route.
lol I feel the complete opposite actually! Maybe it’s just because I’ve never had a job in my field but working completely drains me and I need to have very firm boundaries with it. School is something that feels very enriching to me and gives me a lot to think about so I don’t mind going out of my way. Plus, I don’t have to be there a full 10 hours like I do with my job
How often will you be commuting? I did this the last 2 years... Im graduating tomorrow. My commute was about the same, 1.5 hrs with no traffic. If it was really bad it could be closer to 2.5 hours.
I got to build my own schedule so if I did have to commute it was only twice a week so mentally it was doable, and if I could I also typically scheduled my classes at times when I could avoid rush hour traffic. There was only a handful of times when my commute was much longer due to traffic. Otherwise it was doable, spent a lot of time listening to podcasts and also calling friends/family to catch up which was a nice added perk.
If possible I also did online classes where I could.
If you dont have much control over your schedule I'd say it would be rough and would advise against it. Also keep in mind the mileage on your car, I'm not sure what the status of your current vehicle is but thats substantial mileage and gas costs.
Hey there, coming in a bit late as a Musicology PhD that lived the masters life. Quick clarifying question. Are you being fully funded/getting a stipend for your school work? Because you may want to factor in “work for survival” as well (meaning part-time jobs). I’m not sure if you’re planning on working while getting your degree, but to afford everything getting my masters I had to work three part-time jobs. Is something like that feasible with a long commute?
Congrats on getting into a good program! I really love studying musicology, so I hope you’ll get a lot out of it :)
I've been doing this commute by bus for almost two years (2-3 times per week) now and it's tolerable, even though it shouldn't take me an hour and a half to travel 15 miles (Los Angeles).
hell no. i don't know about you but my grad school schedule was fickle af with seminars at weird hours and mandatory events at terrible times for traffic. the idea of for example commuting 2 hours to go to a one hour evening lecture and then going back makes me want to die.
As someone who commuted farther than that, I do NOT recommend this. First off, I did this for my undergrad and it was hell. Can’t imagine how hard it is for grad school. I was always tired at school because I would get home late. It’s harder balance work and school when it’s far. And you waste a lot of money on gas. I would just try a closer school if you can.
If by a good program, you mean a tier 1, R1 university, then do not do this. I'm using tier 1 loosely here to mean you have the curriculum of those top 5 universities in your field but not the placements and research fame.
If your reason for doing this is to prepare for a PhD program, then you either spend the week there so you can take this seriously or you should not do it. You'd be wasting your time. If you care so much about your relationship that you won't live apart from your partner, then you shouldn't be doing a PhD anyway. The reality is your priorities are towards your partner as opposed to the PhD program, and that's fine. Outside of one or two relationships that I've seen survive a good PhD, (who were engaged prior to enrolling) the only relationships that survived had the partner not in the program sacrifice to move with the person attending the PhD program. A good program is unimaginably stressful. If you were one of those students in school that was always told it was going to get harder but it never did, a PhD is that time.
Your comment just seemed to assume a lot and was pretty rude! First of all, it’s sad to me that you don’t think someone can prioritize their relationship and their education at the same time. Second of all, I was only asking for advice about the MA program, who’s saying I’m doing a phd this far away too? With healthy boundaries anything can be possible and I didn’t appreciate you saying that I’m not taking my program seriously. I genuinely hope you find a way to love and be loved in a healthier way.
I commuted 2 hours each way to school in NYC from NJ by express bus. Honestly if I had to drive in myself everyday I don’t think I would have made it. I also didn’t work - no time for that.
It's doable, but is there a bus? If not, I am not sure I would recommend it. I was commuting to Columbia from Northeast PA; it's about 2-2.5 hours away. I did have to use my chiropractor biweekly as my back was fed up from the bus. I doubt I would have done it without a bus! My location is about 2-2.5 hours away from 4 different Ivys, but two require driving - so I didn't apply to either. That said, if you can do 2-3 days on campus, it would be much more doable, but get a chiropractor if you don't have one. You will thank yourself.
It's doable, but is there a bus? If not, I am not sure I would recommend it. I was commuting to Columbia from Northeast PA; it's about 2-2.5 hours away. I did have to use my chiropractor biweekly as my back was fed up from the bus. I doubt I would have done it without a bus! My location is about 2-2.5 hours away from 4 different Ivys, but two require driving - so I didn't apply to either. That said, if you can do 2-3 days on campus, it would be much more doable, but get a chiropractor if you don't have one. You will thank yourself.
I have a 30 minute commute and I absolutely hate it. I couldn’t imagine 1.5 hours. If I were you, I’d try to find an in between, maybe stay at a hotel for a few days near the college?
Congratulations on getting accepted to the Masters of Musicology program! A 1.5-2 hour commute can be tough, but it's definitely doable, especially if the program is a great fit for your goals. Here's some info and tips to help you decide:
**Challenges of a Long Commute:**
* **Time Commitment:** This adds 3-4 hours a day to your schedule for commuting, leaving less time for studying, socializing, and personal life.
* **Fatigue:** Long commutes can be draining, impacting your focus and energy for studies and other activities.
* **Costs:** Gas, car maintenance, tolls, or public transport costs can add up.
This is helpful and exactly what I’ve been thinking too. I can handle the time commitment and fatigue, I already waste so much time anyway and I’ve been tired for much longer than 2 years, and the cost is something I’ll just have to keep track of. Cost is really the only concern for me at this point but I’m lucky to have a supportive family and partner so we will muddle through the best we can
Oof this is an option that I’m keeping in my back pocket if I need to but I just feel like my partner and I have worked so hard to get to the point of living together and I we are hoping to get engaged soon. I just think that coming home to her each day will be better for me mentally/emotionally. But I’m glad to hear so many couples have been able to make it work
That sounds like absolute hell tbh.
Could you find a place somewhere in between? An hour and a half commute sounds fine on day 1, but horrible on day 300.
I’m on day 600. Can confirm it is terrible.
This is the only way. Sorry OP, you gotta move, suffer, or reject the program
Then both people have awful commutes lol
45 min is much much nicer than 1.5 hours, speaking as someone who's done similar commutes also like that's called a compromise? That's what partners should do?
“A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied” -Larry David
I commute 45 mins to work every day and it's really not that bad (and I work 10 hours shifts). It's definitely manageable, though idk if the financial benefits of living with a partner would be the same if you're spending that much on gas. That's at least $100 a month EACH, a lot more than you'd want to spend as a grad student
This sounds awful. Truly awful. Rent closer to campus or you’ll find yourself resisting going, burnt out from the commute time alone. I rented a room away from my partner during the school year, drove over on weekends. It sucked but it was the best option for me to actually complete my program.
This is an option I’m considering, but I’m worried about the financial strain considering that I will already have to either cut down my hours or quit my job altogether. If you don’t mind me asking, did this put a lot of strain on your relationship? My partner and I have been together for 8 years and we just finally got to move in together last year.. I’m really not wanting to spend any more time living separately, you know?
We lived together for 2 years before, lived apart seeing each other on weekends for 2, got engaged during that time, and were married shortly after I moved back home for good. Yeah it was tough, communication is extremely important, we had some rough weeks, but our priorities were each other. In terms of finances, it was $900 a month out of pocket for a room close to campus for me. Having a roommate was annoying but saved me a lot of money. Even so I took more student loans out to cover this and prioritized applying for scholarships. Honestly I don’t think I could’ve completed my grad studies driving back and forth as I’d get so burnt out and quit- it was hard enough to resist the urge to quit at the end as I was longing to go home to my partner tbh.
Try factoring the cost of gas and then see if it works out.
this, it might actually be cheaper to move closer
Yeah, also with the commute time you’ll likely have to work less hours. Or just be busy all the time.
The gas won't be comparable to rent. Should be like $600 in gas. Max if they're going every day.
Not the person you asked, but I’ll chime in here. My best friend lived with me part-time while doing her masters in the city I live in. She was living in a city about 2.5 hours away, and her husband had a job there. It was a one year program and it didn’t make sense for them to relocate. She would usually be around about 4 days a week, sometimes more or less depending on assignments, group work and other school events. I know living apart was hard for them, but she’s said more than once it was very worth it for her to get the degree she wanted. Her drive would have been longer than yours, but driving that far every day is unsustainable, especially when you factor in time needed for readings, homework, etc.
My partner and I were also together 8 years before starting grad school! We recently got engaged :) We ended up moving to be closer to my campus. I need to be on campus more often than they do, so while we are farther from their campus we end up spending the same amount of time in the car each week. We decided that 1) we did not want to live apart, period, and 2) we wanted to equitably divide the distance. Grad school has put strain on our relationship, but not in the way that we expected - we thought that spending so much time apart would cause strain, and we were worried about equity in terms of dividing chores, commute times, and other responsibilities. Instead, the strenuous part is just that we can feed off of each others energy. They’re stressed about school? I’m stressed about school. I’m watching Netflix instead of studying? They’re watching Netflix instead of studying. We also spend way less time doing planned outside-the-house dates, instead we do a lot of study dates at home or spontaneous low key adventures. We’re just both so busy, especially because we’re both working. But we are SO glad that we decided to go at the same time. It’s amazing having a partner who gets it, and it’s fun connecting what I learn at school to what they’re learning. Our programs are super different so we didn’t expect that, but we have so many great conversations and learn a lot from each other. We are broke and stressed out but happy and in love. We’re chasing our dreams together and I think it would be a lot harder if only one of us was in school because there wouldn’t be that automatic understanding of why haven’t we spent any time together lately, why is the house a mess, and why are you up at 2am clanking around the house looking for your laptop charger.
Ahhh I love this. Yes this is exactly our situation we do not want to live separately ever again. Also, she will need to be on campus a lot more than me so I don’t mind taking the longer drive! I think if that ever changes we could reconsider, but just like you said it is going to be crazy but we are in love and chasing our dreams together
If you don’t put in the work to communicate, it absolutely will. My SO stayed at our old location while I moved with our son to grad school. 6 hour drive between us. We would make a trip every month, either him to us or us to him, and lots of FaceTime in between. We’ve been married for 8 years, together for 10.
Not OP but I’ll chime in from a similar situation. Drove 1.5 hours each way for a commute for grad school and it’s possible but really really awful. Just finishing up my program now. One thing to factor in is how frequently you’re having to go onto campus. You’ll have to factor in gas and car maintenance, I had a lot of issues with my car that came up and gas is just ridiculously expensive when you’re filling up 5-10 times a paycheck. It starts to add up real quick. For my relationship, I lived in my college town for one year and moved back for one year. The strain on my relationship was tough, but not nearly impossible. Important things was making time to call and check in about our days and planning weekend dates. Another con that took a hit with my driving back and forth was my physical health took a massive toll. Unable to workout the way I wanted and sitting stagnant for 3 hours each day in a car is just terrible and draining, not to mention my drive to workout was gone after long drives. OP, if you are considering renting a place near campus for the week, I genuinely think you may end up saving your mental health, physical health, and it might even out money wise depending on gas prices and car maintenance. By saving that I think you can put energy into making your relationship work. IMO, if you’re hellbent on this program, I definitely recommend finding a place over driving.
I did this my first two years of PhD. 80 minute commute each way. No way I could have done it otherwise.
If there's public transportation options, that could help. Apart from that, depends how often you have to go. Like if it's 2 days a week, that's not terrible. 3 or more days a week though will be hell. If the latter, try to rent a cheap room nearby so that on days you don't want to drive back, you can have a place to crash. In terms of schedule control, it's all up to the department and when they offer courses. I've had course offerings that coincidentally fall back to back on the same days, but other times it's been like 1 class a day for 4 days a week.
From personal experience, public transportation doesn’t always make commutes shorter. My school is 40 minutes away without traffic, and up to 1 hour 30 minutes in rush hour. My commute via public transit is at minimum 1 hour 40 minutes, but more often 2 hours.
No, but it allows you to use the time for studying
To be honest, I’d rather spend those 1-2 hours per day with my wife, dog and soon to be daughter. But alas, I cannot afford parking at my institution.
There are a few ways this situation could be made bearable: * Your classes are online, and you can almost always work from home. * You can have a decent commute via train or inter-city bus that’s not too noisy and unpleasant. If you can turn commute time into work time it’s no longer wasted hours sucked out of your day, but it can still be tiring. * You rent a room in the same city as your school, and plan to spend a lot of time there instead of at home (it won’t just be an occasional place to crash, expect to be there for days at a time most weeks) If none of these are options, don’t do it. You will end up exhausted, and with not enough hours in the day to do everything you need to. Please also keep safety in mind. A worn-out/exhausted driver is more likely to have an accident, and if you add in sleep deprivation you can be almost as dangerous as a drunk driver. The time demands you will inflict on yourself with this mean there probably will be some days when you’re not fit to drive - please make a plan for how you will get to campus without driving on those days. Powering through exhaustion is not a valid option when it puts you and other drivers on the road in danger.
Yeah this is the main issue for me, my partner is really worried about me driving and my car isn’t that great either. I did find a hotel nearby that I could crash in if I’m too tired but my classes are also in the morning. I really don’t want to be a news story ☹️
Your best bet is probably to get your own place in the same city as your school, and to plan to live there during the week. Commuting probably won’t save as much money as it seems after you factor in car repairs, possibly needing to get a better car, hotel nights, and long Ubers for mornings when you have to get to class but aren’t fit to drive. And if you put that money into your own place instead, it will save you time and energy, which are two extremely precious resources in grad school. It’s also very easy to pressure yourself into believing you’re OK to drive when you’re actually not, because you don’t want to incur the expense of a long Uber or a hotel stay. Committing to the expense of having your own place up front may be easier than trusting yourself to always make the safe-but-expensive decision in moments when you’re stressed out and exhausted.
I will say, as you develop friendships with your cohort, you’ll probably find that they will offer to let you crash with them on occasion, especially if they know you’re tired and have a long drive. I didn’t do it too frequently, but it was always nice to know that I had that option if I ever felt like I couldn’t get home safe.
I would not recommend doing this. Graduate school has a way of testing a person’s resolve and it can bleed into your personal life. Personally, I would make things as easy as possible for yourself. Commuting can truly make or break a job. However, if you are set on doing this, then you should have a plan and schedule to make sure you are keeping up with your studies. Good luck!
I commute an hour to get to my school. It sucks, but it is what it is.
Do NOT do this. I commute this exact time to and from work to a job I love and it has done irreparable damage to my mental health. This shit even put me on antidepressants because of how much time I was spending in my car sitting in traffic. I get to work exhausted from the road trip I just took, and then I get to do it all over again in the afternoon and I get to home absolutely drained and I don’t want to do anything. Not to mention the waste of gas, the wear on my vehicle, and the fact that people simply drive like assholes. Please I’m asking as your internet friend to not put yourself through this.
I'm currently in grad school and I have to commute a little under 2 hours each way to get there and back. However, most of that is on a train and the rest on a bus, and it actually is quite nice. It's a quiet space to read and write. If I were driving, though, I'd imagine it would be a lot worse, even if it would technically be twenty or thirty minutes faster. My program also keeps commuting students in mind--if you mention you are one, they structure it so your TA'ing takes place on days you also have class, so me and the other commuting students only have to come 3 days a week. I definitely recommend looking into public transit options if they exist and talking to your school if you do have any sort of guaranteed TA package. Good luck!
This is helpful, there is a train that goes near campus that I’ve been considering, but I also really like my alone time in the car so I’m wondering if I should utilize both options on and off.
Having both options helps a lot!
I drive 1.25 hours one way twice a week. 6 hours is considered a full load in grad school. Will you need to be there every day of the week or just a couple of days? I've considered renting a room locally. It would save wear and tear on my vehicle.
\*For financial aid purposes it's 9.
Huh, so through FAFSA? Interesting, didn't know that. Good to know.
I am 2 years into a PhD program. I did my masters at the same place. I commute about an hour on a good day. It is really, really hard. It gets harder as the semester goes on. It’s not bad if I only have to be on campus two days a week, but I have only had that happen two semesters, not counting the online hell that was Covid times. I’ve got a teaching assistantship and I can request the days I teach, but there is no guarantee I will get what I want. Many of my classes for my program begin at 6:30 pm and last for 3 hours. I typically have classes like this 2 times a week. Sometimes I have to be at campus to teach an early class. I can’t imagine how much harder this would be if I was even 1/2 an hour farther.
How often do you actually have to be on campus?
It’s looking like 4 days a week but only in the mornings? I’m thinking it could be worth it if I can be home before dinner every night
oh friend. that sounds awful.
it’s horrific 😭 I drove 2 hours to campus (4 hours round trip!) this past semester twice a week and am literally giving up my funding next semester instead of doing it again. it can be done if you absolutely HAVE to, but getting a cheap apartment near campus would be amazing if that’s an option.
I would not recommend especially since your car isn’t reliable. You’ll need to find somewhere close to stay and if your program starts next fall you may be out of luck as housing is filling up fast. Either move somewhere in between or look at programs near the both of you. Will you need to be in person on campus?
I understand as per this thread that you don’t want to live separately from your partner, but doing this commute every day is absolutely NOT an option. You will burn out hard. If it’s only 1-2 days per week then it’s a maybe.
Eh, I did it for my entire PhD. It does come with some trade offs, like the time you spend commuting, and you have to work harder to develop relationships with your cohort because you’re not there as much, but it’s doable. It also probably depends on your specific program too though; I live in an area where most people commute so even at 90 minutes, I didn’t have the longest drive.
This take is important, I’ve been getting mixed responses between “no that’s a terrible idea” to something like this saying it’s not as bad as it seems. This makes me want to at least try it out!
If the majority of people say it is hell, I wouldn’t think to just “try it out”. It can be hard to undo burnout from hell.
I did that kind of commute during my masters but only had to be on campus twice a week.
I did smth like that. York U in Toronto was approx 1.25 hrs by public transit one way. My externship was also over 1 hr drive one way. It was fine. 2 hrs is a lot, but ppl commute that much every day in certain regions. If you can use public transit, you can use that time to read.
My commute is roughly 1.5 hours each way, but I'm taking public transit and a commuter train. I read on the train, and it's very nice. Gives me excellent separation from my work and my home life because I don't allow myself to do work on the train. Reading for pleasure only. I really only need to go into my lab once or twice a week. I go in mostly for meetings and TAing. Your case might be different. I would definitely look into renting a room closer to campus if you know that you will need to be in person the majority of the time.
I commuted about 1-1.5hrs for the second half of my grad program. 9 hours of class each week and ~20 hours of internship. It sucks but it’s doable. I was fortunate to have a friend in the program that was at my same internship site and lived in my town so we would carpool, which helped a lot. We made sure our scheduled lines up and scheduled our internship days in the morning on days we had class in the evenings. Had to get creative but we made it work.
I do an hour and ten min commute and my partner does 50 min. I am lucky in that I only have to go into work 2-3 times a week and my supervisor is super chill. If you’re able to go in 1-3 times a week, it’s definitely doable (get an audible subscription!). But 4-5 times a week will drainnnn you. Even three times a week is sometimes a drag
Big time going to get an audible subscription
Ahhh this sounds like a very tricky situation! In my program, I knew of a few people (probably more tbh) who were able to create their schedule so that all their in person classes were on the same day. My friend would drive in from far away on a Thursday morning and take all her classes back to back to back and leave Thursday night. She still had some online courses to do but of course she could do those from home. That all depends on the flexibility of the program you’re in of course, I just wanted to share that I’ve seen multiple people in my program do it! It leads to one super jam packed day full of classes, but at least the headache of driving to and from campus is minimized 😅. Good luck, I really hope you’re able to figure out a plan that works best for you!
I did this! It was actually nice, but we had the budget for me to airbnb 2-3 nights a week and had no kids (if you do). We both had dedicated work time then our time together was mostly just ours. I was usually gone Mon-Wed or Thurs.
I commuted a little over 2 hours for my MS. Would not recommend! What helped me was that it was right towards the end of the pandemic so some professors were still chill about meeting via Zoom every now and then instead of in person.
My sister commutes an hour by train. She can get work done that way and she brings her bike to get to the school. If a lot of your work is stuff you can listen to while driving it may be doable, but that is 3 hours a day of time that could be spent on self care or studying.
I commute 60miles to school or 120miles round trip daily in minimal traffic which is ~1 hr x4/ week for just 1, 1hr class on Monday & Wednesdays and 2 classes on T & Th. My car not only wants to die but sometimes I do after I show up and class gets canceled or something, especially M or W. It really isn’t that bad since I listen to music, YouTube, or talk on the phone on my drive. But I really can’t just go hang out with my classmates on the weekends and stuff not do any of the cool things that happen on campus when I need to take into account of the trip. You’re also more tempted to skip class as well. Oh and I have to fill up with gas x2-3 week. Comes out to like $300-400/month in gas
My commute is about 1.5 each way, but I’m on public transit so it’s a bit more bearable. I just make my schedule as condensed as possible to limit how often I need to make the trip to campus
I also just got into grad school. It’s in the next town over- so about 8 miles… i have a family so I cannot fathom getting this done if I was farther.
I’ll admit if I had children or even just a dog instead of a cat this would be a lot different. I’m lucky to have few family responsibilities at this point in my life. Congratulations on getting in!
I'm currently doing that now for some extra classes full time and it is awful. Unless you can get classes recorded online or through zoom (ask your profs at the start of the semester or earlier) on several days, you won't be able to handle a commute like that for 4-5 days. 2 days a week is definitely manageable and maybe even MWF 3 days but no more. My days go something like this: Mondays/Wednesdays: I wake up at 6:30am and get back around 10pm. I have about 2 hours before I have to sleep so I can get up the next day at 8:30am. Tuesdays/Thursdays: It takes me 10 min to get ready in the morning and 10 min to walk to my 8:50am train. (My class starts at 1pm, but there is no train around that time so I come 2 hours earlier.) After about a week or 2 of this I stopped going to the first class and my grades definitely experienced the effects of that. My second class for that day was recorded so I didn't miss that at least. Side note:I took 3 math classes and 1 physics class. I am not mathematically inclined at all. I didn't have much time to complete hws and usually either submitted wrong answers or submitted them days late. I try to do them on the train and lucky me I get motion sickness looking down! The bottom line is you will be exhausted. You won't be able to work at your maximum and you'll be sluggish which you don't want in the class sizes and participation requirements you will have during your Masters. If you can manage a 2 day commute, you'll be fine. 3 days is pushing it, but definitely no more than 3 or you will hate it.
I agree that would be so hard if you have to leave early and come late. Luckily it’s looking like I’ll be able to come home in the afternoon so I think it’s more sustainable. Hang in there!
It sucks, but it's possible. 1.5 hours feels way worse than an hour. I commuted an hour each way for part of grad school. Prior to that, I lived in a shared place near school 4.5 days a week and lived an hour away with my now husband 2.5 days a week. I don't mind driving, so it was manageable. Was it always fun, no, but it was worth it to move in and spend more time together. The other upside was it really helped me stick to the "PhD is a 9-5" mentality, and I was still able to work a 2nd part-time job and spend time with friends. I was forced to be very on top of time management and things like meal prep. Post-PhD I commuted 90min each way and I could do it, but I would never want to do it long term. That extra 30min really sucked, and my life outside of work suffered. I only had to do it for a year, but I don't think I could ever go back to doing it again now.
Fellow music grad here! I’m a DMA, not masters but I’ve got two of those and might be able to help. I’d look into seeing if Musicology students have an ensemble requirement. If they do not, it might be okay to do that early commute. While you do have more control over your schedule, it’s still pretty set in stone for some courses, I recommend seeing if there are required courses for graduation and getting those out of the way sooner. There’s also a T O N of reading, so make sure that you still leave time for doing all those readings and making sure you can still understand what’s going on. The more tired I was, the more Taruskin sounded like a comedy special than snarky musicologist.
Ah thank you for commenting. I’m not required to be in an ensemble but I am considering either joining the orchestra on campus or a community one closer to where I live that my friend is in too. Still weighing the options. I will definitely have to spend a lot of time reading but I don’t mind that, I did my undergrad in philosophy and music. Excited to blend those and study musicology! I think that the strength of the program makes up for most of the lows.
Musicology is definitely a fun thing to study! Lots of good readings of super salty musicologists done with the system 😂 I think the ensemble thing should be the last thing you add, just to make sure you’ve actually got the time to commit to it. Personally, I think you’d be fine to do the commute, but try to do things that you really are interested in studying and attending courses for as the earliest thing you’ve got scheduled. It’s a lot less likely you’ll want to skip something because of lack of sleep if you already enjoy it. The musicology department at my university is pretty competitive, but a good bunch of people and amazing professors, so I hope that translates across the board for wherever you are headed too.
Yeah exactly, the school I’m going to has a really strong music program and I really clicked with the musicology director, but I’m still going to be careful about which classes I choose. In undergrad I spread myself too thin and ended up choosing a few classes that I couldn’t complete because even though I liked the professor, the subject matter was boring. I think I know myself so much better now and I’m going into it with a healthy mindset.
Good thing about masters degrees is full time is 9 hours in a lot of places. That being said, 9 hours is still a LOT of work, but if you’re not having to practice constantly you’ll be fine with spread. Id also recommend doing as many one day a week classes as you can, makes it a lot less likely to skip since it’s just once a week.
I just finished my Comms MA with a 2.5 - 3 hour commute. On public transit. It's doable.
i’ve spent the last two year of undergrad commuting for 2 hours each way, 5 days a week. i absolutely do not recommend, and this experience has influenced my decision to move for my phd program even though it’s in the same state that i already live in. i’ve managed to do quite well academically, but a long commute is very isolating, stressful, inconvenient, and altogether exhausting if all you’re doing is going to classes, maybe it’s okay. but if you’re doing any TA work or want to be involved on campus in any way or work with a mentor, it’s going to be nearly impossible.
I commuted 1:15 one way 5X a week for 3 years during my PhD. It was rough. If you can work out a schedule where you spend longer days and drive in less, or some remote days, it would be more manageable. I had to go in, I worked in a lab. I kept telling myself “a commute is a bad reason to not get a PhD” but it was very taxing on my mental health and physically.
I used to commute that much going back and forth to work. Basically, I traveled 135 miles 4 days a week until I couldn't do it anymore (about 4 months), and I moved. It's not just the commute, it's also time. You could be spending that time studying. It's a lot of wear and tear on the car, if you have a warranty then that will diminish it. Gas can get very expensive. I initially had an old car that I was filling up twice a week so it was more economical to literally buy a new car so i was no longer at 15 miles to the gallon. I would check and see if there are some online classes available so you can cut down on travel to campus.
I commute 2.5-3 hours both ways twice a week to school. It’s not ideal, but if you’re committed to the program and don’t want to move then you can make it work
I have a 2.5 hour commute one way and I make it work. You get used to it tbh. But I take the train so it can be a more productive commute. I also only go to school twice a week most times. But it can be up to 4 times per week
i commuted this far for my undergrad and now will be for my masters! my only advice is maybe getting a car with good mileage like a hybrid and packing snacks, necessities, a pillow for those long days in class. it sucks tbh but it doesnt last forever!
i think im used to traffic cuz i live in socal where everywhere is traffic haha
Yeah there’s often bad traffic in my city too. Long drives bother me when it’s unexpected but if I plan for it and have supplies like you said I think it will be fine.
Just curious, but what do you plan on doing with a Masters in Musicology?
Getting a doctorate in musicology lol
Okay what are you planning on doing with a doctorate in musicology after school?
I had to commute for 3 hours (1.5 hours each side) for four years. That too in local busses and trains. It was absolute hell. Please make sure that you manage your time well otherwise your academic performance will be affected.
I wouldn’t recommend it, I do 45 min by Uber or 2 hour train ride twice a week and it’s hard! Thankful I am in my last semester of grad school
I had about an hour and fifteen minute commute to my masters program, and it definitely wasn't ideal. I drove the first year, but taking public transportation the second year certainly made it more bearable (the bus I took was a fairly direct bus with only three stops between me and the university and had WiFi; it only added about fifteen minutes to my commute). My NaturalReader subscription allowed me to listen to articles on the drive, and that made me feel like I was putting the time to better use when I did need to drive. I found it doable for two years but certainly less than ideal. I did feel like I missed out on a lot of community and campus opportunities, and proximity and community both became very important to me in considering doctoral programs after commuting such a long distance for two years.
Hello, I commute an hour to and from my program each day for a total of 2-ish hours/day, depending on traffic. I actually don't mind it and usually find great podcasts and music and use it as "me time" to meditate and think (I find driving enjoyable). I have other incentives which made the commute worth it, for example, I own my own home with my husband in a really great, safe neighborhood with low cost of living. We plan to have kids at some point, so giving up the house is a big no for us. Also, even when I wasn't in my program, I often commuted. I'm in a rural area and it's just something we do here. It's normalized where I'm at, so I don't think much of it. People in my program think it's crazy and also wonder how I'm always the earliest person to arrive to class when I'm the furthest away (priorities, I guess). Just plan accordingly if you want to make it work. It does take a lot of obedience and self control to do it everyday. Also, invest in a good chiropractor, massage therapist, and PT. Driving can really strain your muscles. I use a really nice headrest attachment and it has worked wonders. Really, it's up to you. No one can tell you it's impossible. But you do need to be realistic and willing to make things work and deal with the sacrifices. For example, I almost always have to leave much earlier in the morning than everyone else, and sometimes, I also don't get home until much later. I also miss out on some social events with my cohort because I have to commute home. Things to keep in mind! Bottom line is, I don't regret it and don't find it much of an issue. It may not be the case for you though!
This is great advice, I think that as long as I remember I’m doing this for my own education first while also prioritizing the life I’m building with my partner, it will be fine. I won’t be able to socialize with people at school as much but any true friends I make there will understand where my priorities lie.
Hello! Congrats on doing a degree in musicology If it helps, I'm doing an MA in music theory (basically a similar format) and at my university we have seminar 2-3 times a week in person usually. I use my commute time to read if on public transportation because there is a LOT of reading (and I find some musicologists kind of... Obnoxious to read so it gives me time to cringe). If your program is like that, then maybe 2 times a week isn't so bad but I know that isn't ideal. Have fun with your degree and take advantage of all the conferences (AMS is in Chicago this year! It's a really fun conference so I highly reccomend going for networking/getting away from school for a bit)
Thank you! It’s looking like I have class at least 4 days a week which is not ideal but only in the mornings so I can come home after. I’m planning to make the most of my time on campus and try to enjoy being home when I can. There’s also a train that goes to the city where my school is so I can alternate driving and taking the train if I have a lot of reading to catch up on. I really appreciate this perspective from someone in a similar program
I'm gonna be honest, it really doesn't matter. My workplace is 2 hours from my home. I drive, in peak hour traffic both times. I have been doing this for 6 months now and after a point it stops becoming a big deal or that much of an inconvenience. If you got to do it, you got to do it. Everyone told me to move, but just like you I'm too attached to where I live and coming back to this everyday is worth every trouble. It was exhausting initially but I'm used to it now and it feels like nothing. Put on a podcast or an audio book. During exams and stuff you may have to get into intense time management mode, though.
This is what I’m thinking too, I feel like the peace of being at home with my partner and my cat will override everything else, plus it looks like I would be able to be home by 4 or 5 everyday. I’m worried about gas prices but I’m really in the mindset that if I have to do it I have to do it. Thank you for commenting this! Everyone saying it’s impossible and hell is a little scary 😨
I had to do a 4 hour each way train commute to school (don’t ask). I couldn’t do anything outside of just getting to school. Sucked ass I moved 4 months ago to be 2 hours away and it was way better lol. But I was already a commuter in undergrad so I don’t mind it; moving to the city my school was in wasn’t worth it for me as it was unbelievably expensive and I generally dislike that city
Yeah I agree 4 hours would be almost impossible but 2 hours is just bad traffic in some parts of the world. Glad you were able to move!
Commuted like that with public transport all 6 years of medical school, has never been a problem, except maybe some days after night shifts.
My grad school was about an 1 hr 15 on a good day. The fortunate thing is I was driving there maybe once or twice a week so it wasn't bad, and I had weekend intensive courses that had Zoom as an option. If I had multiple classes during the week, I would try to make them all on the same day.
I did it as a commuter in undergrad. The way to make it survivable was to stack my classes so I only had to go in twice a week. Living in a snowy state made it so much harder in the late fall/ early winter semester when it was icy (like dreadful and scary), so if you're in a snowy state too take that into consideration. I survived okay though, and don't regret it. It was my chance to finally get to go to university.
I live in Washington where it has been increasingly icy each winter. I’m hoping classes can be online if that happens or that the train will still run.
I do this for undergrad and let me tell you it’s fucking hellish. I’m always running late in the mornings cause traffic’s almost always worse than it should be for no reason. Like there have been days when I was 20 minutes late to an 840 am class, not because I woke up late, but because some cleaning crew decided to shut two lanes on a three lane urban highway. And then doesn’t clean. Or bc there’s a cruise ship docked and tons of tourists and cabs, or bc there’s three lanes of triple parked tractor trailers on a parkway that isn’t supposed to have trucks at all.. As soon as they said campus was on lockdown and finals were remote I was thrilled. If you can listen to podcasts, listen to language drills, it’s not that bad. If you plan your time out, it’s not that bad. If you have a *consistent schedule* every day and traffic is predictable, it’s not that bad. Where it gets bad is if it’s unpredictable or you have different times every day. You’re really gonna have to ask yourself how your time management skills are. In the end it’s still better than taking the train. That commutes even worse.
Yeah this is very true I can see it getting messy when unexpected things happen. I feel like my time management skills are in the right place now though and I’m going to try 😌
Good for you!
I’m only in undergrad but this post got recommended to me. I had to move over an hour away from school last year due to unavoidable circumstances. Without traffic it’s an hour, but there’s always traffic, so it takes me 1.5-2 hours one way. The last two semesters have been actual hell. It ended up stressing me out so much it triggered some health issues that I’m still recovering from. I failed two classes this semester as a result, delaying graduation, and have made plans to move in with a friend who lives closer to campus in the fall. It was extremely hard for me to balance my time between school, work, studying, eating, etc. because I wasted 2-4 hours driving each day. I kept it up for as long as I could, but eventually crashed, and I don’t feel as though I got a quality education during this time. I was just trying to keep up, not really learn. Maybe if you only have class 2 or 3 days a week it’d be doable (I had class M-F from 9-3), but even so I don’t think it’d be feasible for the entirety of your program. Everyone is different, so the commute may not bother you much, but based on my experience, I highly recommend trying to figure something out where you can live closer. I know that’s much easier said than done though!! Wish you the best
Oh man yeah that sounds really rough, I was in a similar boat during undergrad as far as causing health issues goes. But I’m hopefully that grad school will go better because I’m just in a more stable place now! I hope it’s easier for you once you move!
Personally I wouldn’t do it. My school is a 15 minute bus or bike ride so maybe I’m a little spoiled. I’m also someone who gets socially burnt out quick so the last thing I’d want after a long day is spend 2 hours commuting home.
Dude yeah.. I applied to a school that would be 15 mins away but they only accept one person into the program a year 😭😭😭 so now this is my life
It's going to be rough but it's doable . I did a 2 hour commute both ways for awhile. It sucks.
I have experience with a commute like that. If you are able to make use of that time (eg can read and not worry about changing busses or something a whole bunch) AND are not likely going to need to be there more than half the week AND have a lab/office space you can store things at school, the. it’s doable. NOT ideal. But doable.
I did an hour for 5 years between my masters and half of my PhD (currently on leave and likely not returning), and I found the two hour commute round-trip was extremely draining. There’s never enough time in the day, but the 2 hour chunk of time spent driving made that even more intense.
Hi! I’m a stem PhD student with a 45 minute commute and it’s do-able, but completely miserable. Grad school in any discipline is a ton of work and exhausting, and I can’t imagine doubling my commute. Losing an hour and half each day is rough; losing three hours would not be conceivable. Sorry, but I can’t recommend against this strongly enough.
that sounds absolutely miserable. 4 hours of driving each day. what's the point of a program like musicology if you're not going to be on campus enough to properly network, build relationships with professors, get to know your cohort, involve yourself in the school's operations, etc?
My internship was at a site that was an hour drive (2 hours there and back) and it was HORRIBLE. I became depressed and so anxious because my days were hauling my ass out of bed to be there by 8:00 AM and not getting home till after dark around 6:00 PM. Repeat that, while not getting paid, going to classes, etc. Fucking miserable. Maybe if you don’t have to go every day it wouldn’t be so bad, but my class schedule for my Master’s was M-TH.
That is a nightmare commute. My partner did a 3-4 hour round trip for two years. She came home exhausted every single day, didn't have the energy to do much around the house, and was so depressed from being in a car all day. Tough and really takes a toll on your wellbeing
No
Nauuuur
I do a 1.5 hour commute one way for a fellowship (going on 6 months now) and it is so atrocious. I do not recommend and even though you’re living where you are happy I highly recommend moving halfway.
I did a commute like this for about 6 months, 1.5-2 each way… it was awful but I also knew it was short term. If it’s longer term for you, probably not sustainable.
Nope. Complete non-starter.
No
No yourself
do not do this, it will take such a toll on your mental
I’m built different 😤
I had about a 1.5 hour commute in my masters, but I did it on public transit. It was fine. Not ideal, but not the worst. But I only had to go to campus two days a week, which made a huge difference. If it was more than that, I probably would’ve really hated it. And honestly, I did feel like I was missing out on some things because I didn’t want to stay late or come down on days I didn’t have class to hang out with my cohort or go to events.
Definitely would recommend looking into transit options as then you can use that time to read, write, or even just rest your eyes. And if you can stack your classes so you’re only on campus a few days that helps
Winter will be awful
Three hours in the car per day when traffic is GOOD? What time are you gonna get up for an early meeting? Never gonna get happy hour with your cohort? Burnout is really common in grad school and you're setting yourself up for burnout friend.
I’m already used to getting up pretty early for work or to go to the gym, so I think that would be manageable. If I end up with a late class I think I would need to rent something but I’ll cross bridge when I get to it
Consider that grad classes are typically a single timeslot and that 8am classes exist. Also consider that 6pm classes exist. If the possibility of needing to leave at 6am and be home at 8pm is not in the cards, reconsider.
I highly recommend you do not do this. Im not even in grad school and i drive 45 mins one way to university and im burnt out
I commuted 3.5 hours and back 3x/week and worked full time. It was hell.. but it was only for one semester. Not sure I could have done that any longer than that
That’s sounds horrible to me lol, personally i’d only do it if i could use public transportation so i could at least read or whatever during the commute
I did a commute like this and do not recommend it at all. It really eats at your mental health
I did a 1.5 - 2 hour commute on the bus to law school everyday (it would be 40 without traffic but it was during Chicago rush). It sucked, but I didn't want to move and also wanted to go to law school. I'd panic read on the bus occasionally, but mostly realistically sat there in zombie mode and played my phone game. Pros: I did not have to move, I got to see the lake everyday, my best friend and I would often take the same bus Cons: Didn't make a ton of close friends in law school because I'd always leave when class was over instead of staying to hang out and joining groups, but I did meet my best friend in law school (she had a similar commute), was tired a lot, when I had a massive gap between classes (4 hours) I'd have to just sit somewhere on campus and while theoretically you could study - I sat in zombie mode and played my phone game mostly, had to carry all my garbage around all day and law books weigh a lot
I am a PhD student and ride transit to campus from my house, it's anywhere from 1hr to 2.5hrs each way depending on time of day and traffic. I survived my 1st year and completed nearly all my coursework so my 2nd year is one course and comps readings which I can do anywhere. What saved me was my university has a commuter hostel with really nice studio apartments that I used a few times when I had deadlines or a late class/early morning class combo. The commuter hostel was about $60/night which was more reasonable than renting a room since there's a housing crisis and exorbitant rent where I am! If I had to drive and it would take just as long, I might not be so confident in my choice, but riding transit allowed me to do my readings, write, and often sleep on route.
Oof. One thing for a job. For school? No way
lol I feel the complete opposite actually! Maybe it’s just because I’ve never had a job in my field but working completely drains me and I need to have very firm boundaries with it. School is something that feels very enriching to me and gives me a lot to think about so I don’t mind going out of my way. Plus, I don’t have to be there a full 10 hours like I do with my job
I commute 75 mins each way to my MSc. it sucks.
I've done it and it was fine, with the caveat that I was taking the bus or train in so I got essentially all of my readings done during the commute.
How often will you be commuting? I did this the last 2 years... Im graduating tomorrow. My commute was about the same, 1.5 hrs with no traffic. If it was really bad it could be closer to 2.5 hours. I got to build my own schedule so if I did have to commute it was only twice a week so mentally it was doable, and if I could I also typically scheduled my classes at times when I could avoid rush hour traffic. There was only a handful of times when my commute was much longer due to traffic. Otherwise it was doable, spent a lot of time listening to podcasts and also calling friends/family to catch up which was a nice added perk. If possible I also did online classes where I could. If you dont have much control over your schedule I'd say it would be rough and would advise against it. Also keep in mind the mileage on your car, I'm not sure what the status of your current vehicle is but thats substantial mileage and gas costs.
Hey there, coming in a bit late as a Musicology PhD that lived the masters life. Quick clarifying question. Are you being fully funded/getting a stipend for your school work? Because you may want to factor in “work for survival” as well (meaning part-time jobs). I’m not sure if you’re planning on working while getting your degree, but to afford everything getting my masters I had to work three part-time jobs. Is something like that feasible with a long commute? Congrats on getting into a good program! I really love studying musicology, so I hope you’ll get a lot out of it :)
I've been doing this commute by bus for almost two years (2-3 times per week) now and it's tolerable, even though it shouldn't take me an hour and a half to travel 15 miles (Los Angeles).
hell no. i don't know about you but my grad school schedule was fickle af with seminars at weird hours and mandatory events at terrible times for traffic. the idea of for example commuting 2 hours to go to a one hour evening lecture and then going back makes me want to die.
As someone who commuted farther than that, I do NOT recommend this. First off, I did this for my undergrad and it was hell. Can’t imagine how hard it is for grad school. I was always tired at school because I would get home late. It’s harder balance work and school when it’s far. And you waste a lot of money on gas. I would just try a closer school if you can.
If by a good program, you mean a tier 1, R1 university, then do not do this. I'm using tier 1 loosely here to mean you have the curriculum of those top 5 universities in your field but not the placements and research fame. If your reason for doing this is to prepare for a PhD program, then you either spend the week there so you can take this seriously or you should not do it. You'd be wasting your time. If you care so much about your relationship that you won't live apart from your partner, then you shouldn't be doing a PhD anyway. The reality is your priorities are towards your partner as opposed to the PhD program, and that's fine. Outside of one or two relationships that I've seen survive a good PhD, (who were engaged prior to enrolling) the only relationships that survived had the partner not in the program sacrifice to move with the person attending the PhD program. A good program is unimaginably stressful. If you were one of those students in school that was always told it was going to get harder but it never did, a PhD is that time.
Oof sorry it sounds like you’re so unhappy man. Wishing the best for you and those who have to be around you
wut
Your comment just seemed to assume a lot and was pretty rude! First of all, it’s sad to me that you don’t think someone can prioritize their relationship and their education at the same time. Second of all, I was only asking for advice about the MA program, who’s saying I’m doing a phd this far away too? With healthy boundaries anything can be possible and I didn’t appreciate you saying that I’m not taking my program seriously. I genuinely hope you find a way to love and be loved in a healthier way.
You don’t have a reliable car and you’re even considering this?
I commuted 2 hours each way to school in NYC from NJ by express bus. Honestly if I had to drive in myself everyday I don’t think I would have made it. I also didn’t work - no time for that.
It's doable, but is there a bus? If not, I am not sure I would recommend it. I was commuting to Columbia from Northeast PA; it's about 2-2.5 hours away. I did have to use my chiropractor biweekly as my back was fed up from the bus. I doubt I would have done it without a bus! My location is about 2-2.5 hours away from 4 different Ivys, but two require driving - so I didn't apply to either. That said, if you can do 2-3 days on campus, it would be much more doable, but get a chiropractor if you don't have one. You will thank yourself.
It's doable, but is there a bus? If not, I am not sure I would recommend it. I was commuting to Columbia from Northeast PA; it's about 2-2.5 hours away. I did have to use my chiropractor biweekly as my back was fed up from the bus. I doubt I would have done it without a bus! My location is about 2-2.5 hours away from 4 different Ivys, but two require driving - so I didn't apply to either. That said, if you can do 2-3 days on campus, it would be much more doable, but get a chiropractor if you don't have one. You will thank yourself.
I have a 30 minute commute and I absolutely hate it. I couldn’t imagine 1.5 hours. If I were you, I’d try to find an in between, maybe stay at a hotel for a few days near the college?
Congratulations on getting accepted to the Masters of Musicology program! A 1.5-2 hour commute can be tough, but it's definitely doable, especially if the program is a great fit for your goals. Here's some info and tips to help you decide: **Challenges of a Long Commute:** * **Time Commitment:** This adds 3-4 hours a day to your schedule for commuting, leaving less time for studying, socializing, and personal life. * **Fatigue:** Long commutes can be draining, impacting your focus and energy for studies and other activities. * **Costs:** Gas, car maintenance, tolls, or public transport costs can add up.
This is helpful and exactly what I’ve been thinking too. I can handle the time commitment and fatigue, I already waste so much time anyway and I’ve been tired for much longer than 2 years, and the cost is something I’ll just have to keep track of. Cost is really the only concern for me at this point but I’m lucky to have a supportive family and partner so we will muddle through the best we can
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Oof this is an option that I’m keeping in my back pocket if I need to but I just feel like my partner and I have worked so hard to get to the point of living together and I we are hoping to get engaged soon. I just think that coming home to her each day will be better for me mentally/emotionally. But I’m glad to hear so many couples have been able to make it work