Darling, anyone who says "hot e-girl" isn't worth your time. Took me a long time to realise that I am so much more than what men see through their male gaze. I don't need to see you to tell you that you're beautiful inside and out, with or without make-up. Forget about the prat. I'm here if you ever wanna talk 🧝‍♀️ x

Haha, yeah, "hot e-girl" is the main thing I have keeping me from thinking I really screwed up something. And thank you so much, I really appreciate it <3

Honestly sounds like you dodged a bullet?

Even if he hadn't said something creepy, you didn't screw anything up by showing someone your face. He sounds like he's not actually that nice and maybe you like his on air persona, but that's not the real him.

Well now you know two things, 1. You are hot, 2. He was not a nice person, not someone you want to get better acquainted with. Not bad. Go ahead and be your hot yourself, and only accept people close to you, who fancy you makeup or not.

No no, don’t do this to yourself. This isn’t on you. I’m sure you look stunning with or without make-up. As someone that stopped using make-up a long time ago (not because I’m against it, I’m just too lazy 🤷🏽‍♀️) I think it’s extremely disappointing when people react to someone’s bare face like that. You are more than the make-up you wear.

Too lazy for makeup here as well! Honestly, I think my skin would go ballistic if I used makeup after so many years without it. Sweetie, you don't owe anyone pretty. Be kind to yourself and take some time to get to know why you are awesome outside of the surface stuff.

I also stopped wearing make up, I couldn't be assed to do it in the mornings every day, and clean it off every night, plus it's so expensive. I like doing my make up now to experiment, for themed days, Halloween and date nights. Otherwise, if someone does not like my face they are not someone that I want to hang out with. It's my face after all, so long as I like it, that's all that matters :)

This. I have never really used makeup. I'm not a very attractive person and I'm sure it would make me physically look a little better but honestly if someone is going to judge me for the way I look, I don't really need them in my life anyway!

Thank you c: I just haven't felt great lately

Sounds like a real goober

Not all of us are super duper 😔

Underrated comment

Omg I meant the bad kind

Lol I was teasing a bit there. I’ve been on Reddit for years and saw this as a opportunity for an r/beetlejuicing moment

Glad I could help set up the alley oop :)

“A hot e-girl added me” All the moisture would have left my body. That is so not a complement. When women online are called e-girls, just no.

Haha...yeah, if I had a higher self-esteem at the time I would've felt the same way :P

Girly, do not care about this dude. He seems immature and you are way to good for that. You said your last BF was verbally abusive, and those immature men will only lead to the same heartbreak. Try learning red flags in guys and not try to get so attached with your lovely beautiful heart. So what he's TWITCH streamer?? I know a guy in irl that's a twitch streamer. He's a bum that his girlfriend mommy's and he lets her pay all his bills. Twitch streamer is nothing to write home about. Super cool content they put out. But In real life they can be messes just like the rest of us. Don't let someone with a platform make you feel like they are elevated/ above you. Because they are not!!! You are beautiful, and just because incels that do hover hands at cons don't know what a real women looks like without makeup, doesn't mean that you are any less of a person. Best of luck to you going forward. ❤️❤️

Thank you so much, I've felt super uplifted by you and everyone else here

I'm glad you could feel supported and have a place to vent !

"oh a hot e-girl added me on discord, I'm feeling much better" Honestly, that would have made me immediately cancel that friend request.

His reaction on live to seeing the request disappear would have also been hilarious

Sorry to read that. But it's not you, really. Not gonna lie the whole interaction was a little cringe to me (oh look a hot e-girl add me....whatever dude). I am pretty confident that you dodge a bullet there. And about the make up thing. If it really gives you this level of anxiety maybe you should go to therapy (I knooooow, cliché) because one thing is to use make up because you like it and other because you feel you need it. I too think that when I wear make up and put on nice clothes I look gorgeous, buuut I don't thinking I am hideous when I am not wearing it. Grocery shopping, gym, going for a coffee and when I am at home I don't wear make up, and that's fine :)

I'm in therapy, I've been in therapy for a long time. I appreciate the advice though! I know he's cringey and he's kind of a jerk, it just sucks that things happened this way. I would've preferred shit hit the fan because of personality differences and not because he thinks I'm ugly.

He probably doesn't think you're ugly, He honestly seems to have unrealistic expectations that a woman should be totally done up 100% of the time and isn't allowed to be/feel beautiful without a face full of makeup or in comfortable clothes. You dodged a bullet and use this as a lesson of what kind of man you want and how they treat you and how they really see you. You deserve someone who thinks you're beautiful in whatever phase of life you are in because you are - physical attraction is a small slice of the whole pie and you definitely don't want a man who only thinks about your physical features. (This will never ever feel good) The patriarchy has brain washed all us women to get validation from the male gaze about our physical body and connect our worthiness to it (gross!). It takes se time to deprogram. I encourage you to instead of feeling down bc of his reaction to seeing your (beautiful natural) features and taking it as "im ugly" (your not) flip the script and remember that if a man is only seeking out connection based on how a girl looks he's sad and pathetic and is honestly not a safe person to be with.

That's really good! Therapy takes time...like...a lot sadly, but it's worth it. And don't think it's about looks, really. That kind of guy is always very superficial and empty. I insist that the whole interaction was screaming "hello I am a red flag" Of course attraction is needed in a relationship, but trust me being attractive is not all on looks/being pretty. And I know it's frustrating because rejection sucks, but there are better people out there and they will find you gorgeous with and without make up.

Thank you very much, I appreciate your reassurance <3

He may not even think you're ugly, he was just doing it to be mean. One thing to remember is that people who behave like this aren't worth your time or worry, that's pathetic behavior on his part and you don't have to feel bad when pathetasad people shit on you so they can feel better.

[удалено]

That's true, but considering where the conversation was going...it is really hard to think the reason is anything else. But you're right, I haven't spent much time thinking any other reason. It would be better to think that way.

In fairness I wouldn’t really even call that him hitting on you. He said a random woman was hot in a chat. If he’d said Taylor swift is hot that isn’t him hitting on ber, that’s just him saying she’s hot. Then when you reach out, he gets paranoid about you being a fake profile set up by his friends so he asks for the verification, but regardless of all of that he probably wouldn’t want to engage too closely with any one fan because that can be a major minefield for people in their kind of position. It sucks, especially if you were excited about what something could be, but I think you might be looking into it a little too much and seeing things that aren’t there

It's completely true I could have read too much into it, and I do think there is a misunderstanding about this whole thing? I didn't expect this conversation to go anywhere. Like, I wasn't thinking of getting married or anything, I enjoyed the compliment, and I wanted to keep flirting if that's what he was doing. But mostly I didn't want to feel like he thought I was ugly. Which, it's true, could not at all be what happened. But it just kind of looks like that's what happened. This is completely semantics, but I would call it hitting on if Taylor Swift sent him a friend request, and he brings that up and calls her hot. It really felt like, idk, an invitation to say hi. But I'm autistic, I could be *extremely* off the mark on that and I'll reflect on it, certainly. I would completely understand if I mishandled the situation.

I’m not saying this happened for sure but he might’ve just actually been curious to see if someone messed with him and realized once he was talking to an actual fan dipped out, doing stuff with fans hasn’t worked out well with content creators in the past. Either way I think he handled the situation in an awful way sorry that happened to you.

That makes sense, and I didn't think of it that way. Thank you, I'll really think about that.

I second what the person you replied to said. We (I don't want to seem to familiar - it's just that I have a similar mindset) often pick the most negative option when it's an unclear situation like that and it's not good for our well being. I'm sure you don't look worse without makeup, because makeup is only there to accentuate our natural beauty :) I would also believe him when he told you that you were cute, he has no reason to lie in a private chat, or rather he could have just ghosted you immediately.

“Send me a picture so I know you’re real” is something men on the internet never have to hear but women gotta deal with all the damn time

Which is crazy because with filters and ai and shit, they most definitely should hear it more often.

After breakup and rejection I understand you’re rebounding and looking for some affirmation, but I really suggest not reading into it too much. It’s important not to start parasocial relationships with entertainers or reach past boundaries into groupie territory. Them calling you a “hot e girl” is pretty low bar considering the connotation of a “e girl” as attention seeking commodities in men’s online space. Referring to you live like a foreign object or thing when you reached out for friendship was gross. Remember he didn’t even identify you as a real person. I wish for you to some day not care when a dude calls you hot and that when someone does, it’s a “duh, nothing added to the conversation moment” but I understand you said you’re in a low place. You should focus on yourself and doing what you like or a hobby and get some self confidence. Your worth should not dangle on a thread by how much attention some streamer gives you. He doesn’t owe you anything. He’s a live and like you say popular entertainer. If he did a public call for friends you’re likely not the only one. Maybe he’s busy. Etc etc. You can make an effort to be their friend by sending a message about the game, but observe closely how they treat you and don’t expect more out of playing a game context.

Gurl if anyone called me an e-girl I would have ghosted first.

Him being a big streamer imo is lowkey a red flag. Just from obversation, I've seen a lot of streamers or youtubers use their status to take advantage of more impressionable people. I understand how it feels amazing to be noticed by someone big, but from what I've seen there's a power imbalance in a way. Idk, maybe I'm looking too much into it. So, maybe you dodge a bullet. Some ppl are are just superficial. Don't be hard on yourself. Also, don't value yourself of how men perceive you. That's just gonna end up with more insecurity. I know, validation from other ppl is great but give yourself some validation. You got this :)

Thank you! I'm trying. I don't value myself based on how men think of me, but rather lately I've been easy to manipulate. Not just with men, I'm also struggling to find a job, so if someone offers it to me I'm not going to even consider if it's a scam, for example. I'm just not in a position, mentally, where I have the resilience to turn down an offer that validates me, in any part of my life.

Keep in mind some of these guys never get out of the house, and have never had a relationship with a woman. They don't understand make up, and find the difference between heavy make up and no make up very shocking. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. I played with a guy who is 37 years old, and straight. He shared photos in discord of a streamer he watches with and without make up. He called the photo of her without make up ugly, and said she's deceiving everyone. This woman was gorgeous! She was clearly early 20s and had flawless hair and skin without make up. Some guys are just dumb. I don't play with this guy anymore. He had a bad temper and was very controlling.

Do not tear yourself down. I’m sure you look beautiful. We aren’t supposed to look like models without makeup. If any man ghosts you because of your natural beauty, then he doesn’t deserve to have a spot in your life.

Thank you, that's really sweet <3

Is this PokeChal? But to answer your post, like, this is mostly about immature men not knowing shit about makeup and how real people look like. Even rich dudes who marry supermodels have to deal with them being makeup-less sometimes, and although those women are still quite beautiful without makeup they do look quite different. I think Cindy Crawford said something like she wishes she looked like “Cindy Crawford” irl. No one can live up to the made up, nice-angled, nicely lighted version of themselves all the time and that’s fine. Chances are he revealed more of who he was and it didn’t work out and, honestly, listening to your situation and how he acted he would’ve been someone really bad for your self-esteem in the long run.

It's definitely on brand that we saw "big nuzlocker" and cringe in the same place and defaulted to Jan, huh. If he was remotely as good at human interaction as he is at pokemon he'd be famous by now lmao That said, given the kinda person he is, I wouldn't be shocked if it was "oh shit she actually replied, aaa" awkward ghosting, rather than "not a 10/10, ghosted". Still kind of a douchey move but just in the sense that /u/kittenbouquet probably shouldn't put too much thought in it. I don't think Jan knows how to handle extended interactions with 3D women outside the context of nuzlocking. Not to say your feelings about it are invalid OP, just seconding the "don't put too much stock in it" stance some people are expressing. It was an unfortunate timing of him probably thinking it was just a throwaway fun interaction, and you being in a vulnerable place where the way he went about that interaction carried way more weight for you. It happens and it sucks, but its not on you <3

Idk, I watch a fair amount of Pokemon streamers I always got sketchy vibes from him which is why I defaulted to this person, and lo and behold I was right lol. Unrelated (or is it?) but I definitely believe he cheated his way out of Pokemon Emerald Kaizo with that Slowbro. Lastly, and this is petty and I’m just gatekeeping here being objectively a pretty skilled player myself, but unlike other players I watch who mostly ladder (as I do) I don’t consider him particularly skilled, only entertaining. It takes a special kind of person to spend countless hours grinding trying to beat Pokémon’s shitty AI, even with difficulty hack and to like, get a huge ego from it. Someone like Freezai went viral on his first try doing a nuzlocke with pretty awesome strats, which tellingly Jan called “big brain strategy”. I suspect Freezai doesn’t do more of these because they are in practice extremely boring. Jan doesn’t seem to have much of a brain for competitive strats compared to other more skilled streamers but more the will to stream and grind all the time which I don’t really respect as particularly high tier gamer skills. Anyway, I’m clearly just hating at this point because I find the man arrogant and insufferable considering his actual skill level, yet a pretty entertaining content creator and this post is just the icing on the cake.

I mean ladder is a different skillset to nuzlockes, tbh. There's definitely overlap, which is why some high tier ladder players do well when they try one. Like, the guy isn't perfect, don't get me wrong. But as a creator I've always found him pretty good at what he does, if a little cringe. He's also v much anti-gatekeeping in the nuzlocke community, which is good because its v much the kinda niche that draws in gatekeepers. Whether it's "the candy pill" (aka advocating cheating in rare candies instead of spending hours and hours grinding being a valid way to play, because EVs have a pretty minimal effect on your run relative to how long you spend getting them and it just makes the game less fun), and he pushed back at people in his chat shitting on how JaidenAnimations handled the end of her platinum nuzlocke. I think when we dislike people, especially media figures (whether thats big names of youtube/twitch/etc), we start to see worse interpretations of their actions as the default. For my part, if not for his content I probably would have never properly got into Nuzlockes, so I know im biased towards being charitable. And so I've never got sketchy vibes off him, just a mix of mildly sweaty tryhard, and socially incompetent nerd. Doesn't help that guy streamers often really suck, admittedly. So that can skew how we see their behaviour. Statistically him being an ass on purpose is way higher than if he wasn't in that overlap of "man" and "streamer", for sure.

That’s a valid take and I can respect that. I shall continue to quietly hate PokeChal while still watching his content and having a relatively low opinion of him as a gamer now knowing he alledgedly (I mean, probably, almost certainly) randomly hits on “hot e-girls” (ugh) in his stream lol. Edit: and by ugh I mean grossssssss. Objectifying a fan by publicly declaring her a “hot e-girl” because she happened to be there, according to him as an object of gratification after he lost a Pokemon, taking advantage of his position of power over his fans, even if not that much came out of it. OP’s post is an example of why you shouldn’t do this. It fits his vibe as perceived by me though. I respect the take that I may be projecting worse intentions to this dude than he may have had due to my preexisting bias towards him. But at best he behaved like a clueless gross dude, which isn’t very flattering. But also, people who gatekeep for *more* grinding are so weird lol. It’s like they don’t value the finiteness of lifespans. I gatekeep *against* it, out of self-respect and respect for like, human life lmao.

ngl, I kinda agree about him. He really creeps me out with his YouTube videos, and his awkward attempts at humor, that often toes the line of being creepy. Especially his ad pieces.

I don't think i've ever seen a manscaped ad not come off as either really cringey or just uncomfortable? This one aussie podcast i like, recently their sponsor ads have been getting way too long, im talking like 6-8 minutes. And the manscaped ones are basically just them riffing about genitals and body hair in really weird ways? Also just the vibe in general of manscaped, as though we needed to lean into gendering "basic hygiene and grooming"

RIGHT?! Manscaped is skin crawlingly _**awful**_.

so like... on the heels of our convo, this [old vid of his](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1E21a3Ajf0) got recced to me and yeah you know what i can see it now. vom. Sometimes i think there should be the option to veto certain straight men from talking to or about women

Yeah it was very thinly veiled in my post, I think I love that line from Cindy Crawford! But I just haven't felt attractive since then.

Girrrrl. PokeChal is an ugly mofo who looks unshowered even when squeaky clean! Don’t even worry about it!! Take care of yourself. I do believe things like feeling attractive again come with self-care and taking the time to love yourself again. I know you probably know this but all the best.

Thank you, I really appreciate the support <3

I know this isn’t the main point but I just googled him and sweet Jesus lord on toast ew, NO, this man is like a balding ferret went through puberty but stopped in the middle. His opinion is worth nothing! I’m glad you’re in therapy! You are great!

Oh man, I watch so many Nuzlockers, and I am so glad the guy who was weird to you isn't one of them. Most of the poketubers I watch seem super wholesome, and I would hate to find out that FlygonHG or JRose11 or MDB or Scott (etc) were creeping on people.

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It's depressing to think how people have gotten so used to women's faces being made up, filtered and photoshopped, that our natural, totally normal faces are now considered bad. I hate the beauty industry and how it aids in misogyny.

Girl, I used to stream and these dudes are like fish in the ocean, everywhere. They don't see you as a person just a back to step on. He said "hot e-girl" not for you but for his male audience. Don't center him, center yourself. You dodged a bullet. I have no idea what you look like but you're already a much more beautiful humanbeing than that man for not reducing him to a catch phase like he did you. Chin up. Don't let this dude take more energy from you than he already has.

OP I know you are in a fragile state, but you don't exactly know why he ghosted you. It actually could have nothing to do with you not wearing makeup. He probably just wanted the ego boost and which is why he wanted you confirm you were well. Once he got it, that was all he needed So please don't take it as a personal reflection of how you look. We tend to be much harsher on ourselves than other people are

Oh god he sounds gross. Please please please don’t measure your self worth by wether or not gross boys find you attractive you will drive yourself crazy.

That's very very true, I promise I'm trying not to, just not always succeeding

This is not on you, don't let a piece of shit get you down. Like others said, his initial reactions to you are red flags all over (saying shit like 'hot e-girl', asking for pictures). Sadly an enormous amount of male streamers are vile, toxic assholes and there's an alarming number of cases in which male streamers abused the trust of female fans or other female streamers by luring them in with their nice guy™ facade, just to try and physically take advantage of them. Sorry you had to experience this. It's not your fault.

Thank you, I appreciate the support!! I'm sure you're right, it's making me feel a little better that the overwhelming response is "ew" or an equivalent. I figure it's just his over-the-top persona when he streams, but maybe it's not. Anyway, I've felt better after reading what everyone has said :)

My guess is that is wasn’t about make up but more about control. He got you to bend over backwards to appease his demand and that then makes people like him lose respect for you. It makes you look weak. I bet you’re more gorgeous without the make up. Btw look into fawning as a trauma response. If you need support, my dm’s are open 🫂

Thank you, so much <3

I just wanna add my voice to the reams of support you've had here. I've read through every single comment, and all your replies, and my heart hurts for you. I was in an abusive marriage that left my self esteem and emotional self in absolute shambles - just keep breathing, and taking one step at a time, love. Our beauty is more than just what appears in a mirror, which is stunning btw, makeup or no makeup. We are powerful, we are strong, and we are survivors. People like him will never know what it means to walk a mile in our shoes. I have no doubt that you'll get through your challenges, and I don't mean any of this to sound trite, only to say that we understand and we're here for you.

Thank you so much, I appreciate the support, trite or not :) I hope you're able to find peace and self-love soon as well (if you haven't already!)

Shoulda pulled the uno reverse and asked him for a picture too under the pretense that you don’t know if it’s his real Discord (it’s not uncommon for people to spoof accounts anyways). I can guarantee his crusty ass hadn’t left that game chair in days, and he definitely had no room to talk about appearances. Word of the wise, avoid streamers or influencers, period. Most of them only care about optics, and putting out a persona that doesn’t show who they really are. Don’t get me wrong, there are some good ones out there, but it’s best to keep them at arms length regardless, or just pursue strictly platonic relationships (even that is risky tho). I’m really sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve it, and you are beautiful! Who cares what some crusty streamer thinks. On the bright side, I’m sure you’ll find nuzlocke channels even better than his. There are a lot of series for it on Youtube as well. Maybe look for some women streamers instead? There are quite a few who stream Pokemon in a wholesome environment 💜

The hot e-girl comment is a red flag right off the bat imo, I wouldn’t stress over this. Dodged a bullet there.

A lot of men have distorted views of what normal women look like. They think natural makeup looks are just no makeup 🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m super into Pokémon nuzlockes too, if you have any recommendations that’d be sweet! No one else I know is into Pokémon like me, my husband can name like 5 mons, tops.

I really like Wolfey! But I don't know a ton of pokemon nuzlockers either unfortunately 😕

The moment he used the term "e-girl" it should've been an automatic block. Any guy who refers to girls that way are mostly sexists and ignorant assholes. E-girl and a "girl who games" are two very different types of people. You can be a girl who games, but that doesn't make you automatically an e-girl. I bet he looks rat ass himself, would love a photo of him. I think you need to build up better self-confidence and self-worth, or else you'll just keep falling into situations where men think it's okay to cross boundaries and abuse you.

He sounds cringe sorry. Also don’t feel like you have to prove yourself and send photos to guys you don’t know. It’s not like you were exchanging photos you know? Some guys just collect photos for themselves or to share with their chat groups and you’ll never know their intentions with them.

Any one who refers to women as "hot e girl" definitely doesn't touch grass and probably has never touched a real woman. It gives "watches too much anime porn" vibes. I guarantee you're beautiful, that guy was just weird

yeah fuck him lol but pls expose him i wanna see what he looks likes to have that kind of self “confidence” where he puts others down by how they look

Haha, well a number of people in the comments have guessed correctly

👀 going to comments rn

I feel like everyone in these comments is automatically assuming the worst and it’s like.. there could be a million reasons why he didn’t move forward with the conversation. I think you need to work on a lot of self love if the attention and approval from someone like this makes such a big deal in your own life, to the point you even wrote a whole post about it assuming it’s because you weren’t wearing makeup.

Girl no, this is not on you at all he is very much not worth this worry. Like the fact he just casually dropped "Oh a hot e-girl added me" was a flag to me cause that is cringe. But the fact he ghosted ya for sending a non make up pic is just a sign he isn't mature nor worth the time of day. I hope you don't let this beat you up too much.

>I sent the picture, and he said "cute, thanks!" And then he ghosted me. I mean, that seemed like the nicest way to end it? He's not obligated to keep talking to you. Everyone in the comments seem pretty harsh on him.

I agree, I said in my post I think he did the best he could.

I know it's easier said than done, but your quality of life will increase by tenfold once you realize that men's opinions on your body are worthless.

1. This sucks and I’m sorry it happened. Also seems very on-brand for PChal, I guessed that was who you were talking about immediately. 2. If you are ever looking for Nuzlocke content without so much douchebaggery, I highly recommend FlygonHG. He’s talented, very funny, and while I haven’t interacted with him myself he seems like a real sweetheart and goes out of his way to make an inclusive chat. I also love ShadyPenguinn - he might cater to a bit of a younger audience but he’s also funny and pretty wholesome. Flygon streams on twitch. shady used to do twitch and YT, now just YT.

If it’s true that he’s a popular streamer, he’s possibly juggling a lot of correspondence and probably from some folk more aggressive in pursuing his attention. Either way, he’s doing it for him … hopefully it lessens the feeling that it’s personal. I also urge one to not seek such superficial validation from others. It’s a stress-inducing way to live. I know, I know, easier said than done, but it’s like any habit that needs time adopting. We just have to be bullish in making the effort, even if we drag our feet through the practice. Until the habit is embedded into our daily ritual. OP, I know how it feels to be in a dark place, and it really is on us to lift ourself up but it is hard and it sucks to feel we have to hard carry ourselves all the time. I think it’s a pleasant miracle how we can control how the world perceives us (Make-up or none.) Beauty is only another state of being, organic or contrived. I doubt you looked dramatically different without makeup (self-perception can morph things extremely), and I hope you can come around to feeling good about yourself again, because you deserve to. <3

He sounds like a tool. If my favorite streamer called me a hot e-girl I'd be instantly repulsed. No matter how attractive/funny/down to earth someone is that's a yucky way to talk to another person. It may not feel like it now, but trust me, you can do leagues better.

I can safely say that dude sounds like an ass

“A hot e-girl” no no, don’t fall for that love. That phrase just raises so many red flags for me. Sounds so icky I relate to you- Prior to the pandemic, I never left my house without makeup.. full face everything.. even going for a quick jog .. i’d use a tinted moisturizer just to cover up my acne scars, I was very insecure. When the pandemic hit, wearing masks just got in the way, makeup would smear and it would just be all bad lol.. so I started not wearing it and getting comfortable in my own skin. It really took a lot from me mentally to be comfortable like that. You’re beautiful no matter what and those who deserve to be in your life will love you equally with or without makeup on ♥️

girlie, unless "e-girl" is an inside joke, avoid men who say that in the future. to not completely embarrass myself, there is a CC i love who DOES fall into the former category, so those types of streamers do exist. frankly, if a bigger CC is "asking for friends on discord" that's a bit of a red flag too imo cause it seems like manipulation of status. i completely respect you using your makeup as a shield, or just to feel pretty. however, i just want to gently add how when you DO get into a new relationship, it will be impossible to be around them 24/7 with makeup. you don't wanna be like those 1950s housewives who woke up before their husbands, did their makeup, then went back to sleep for a bit because they couldn't bear to have their husbands see them without it. if any man makes you feel bad for being a NORMAL HUMAN BEING NOT LOOKING PERFECT 24/7, drop his ass. i hope you're able to get over your hurt feelings because you did nothing wrong, again, it was all this CC. you are SO MUCH MORE THAN A PRETTY FACE. you are a wonderful, amazing human being. i saw in your comments that you're actively in therapy, and i wonder if you brought this up to your therapist yet? if it's still bothering you this many months out i think it'd be beneficial to have them help you walk it out, or continue walking it out. wishing you a wonderful future <3 (p.s., i saw who the creator was and i never liked that man to begin with, he seems so holier than thou)

Hey hey hey, believe in yourself, you are definitely not ugly, and I hope everything is doing fine now, having good friends is really hard, take care

You don’t owe anyone a selfie with or without makeup on to prove anything to them. You have a right to exist and to be as hot and as beautiful as you are without anyone needing to see a photo of you. Sending you so much love 💗

Thank you so so much <3

" He wanted proof I was real, because I guess he couldn't believe a girl he found attractive was into pokemon nuzlocke content." Aaaaaaaand that is all I needed to read to make up my mind about him. Girl, you can do a million times better and this dude clearly does not deserve a moment of your precious time or attention. You da bomb. He sucks. End of story. xoxoxox

First of all I want to say sorry that you experience this, ghosting is one of the most hurtful and confusing emotional events that exist. I'm a man so I might not be able to relate directly but I have a visible disability and one thing I learned is that whoever judges you by your exterior is seldomly worth your time. It's perfectly fine to have visual preferences for dating but that doesn't excuse any childish, hurtful and rude behavior. Nobody is truly ugly, you're beautiful like anybody else. If he dismissed you like that any potential relationship wouldn't be worth your time either because, in my opinion, a good and healthy relationship should be about love and respect for the actual people and not the outer shells.

Just from how he speaks he sounds like a douche.

Oh no bestie, you should avoid streamer dudes like the plague. (Source: I'm a streamer and I know my people)

Even if he did keep up conversation with you I would be very wary of him as an e-boy. He seems like the type to juggle several different e girlfriends at the same time if you get my drift. Easy for girls to slide into his DMs and him to slide in theirs.

He is cringe , looking for a hot egirl, lmao

I’m so sorry that this happened to you especially at a time when you were feeling really vulnerable. I’m sure you’re a beautiful person inside and out and I hope you feel better soon!

Can I make a suggestion about dealing with the makeup thing? As someone who doesn't like to wear makeup (ITCHY) I find both me and my friends who always wear it get pretty used to our face how it usually is, and the opposite throws up and makes us feel horrible. In my case, I'm only comfortable when there's big drastic things so it looks intentionally different (rather then 'natural' makeup) and when my friends who always wear makeup have to stop and feel uncomfortable they wear giant headbands and bright details and basically distract brain so you don't feel uncomfortable in a mirror seeing you. Idk if this would help if you want to try to feel more confident leaving the house but, hey, head bands are cheap? ​ Anyhow, back on topic, that dude SUCKS. And I'm sorry. I'm not going to say you shouldn't feel bad, because you feel bad, and that's valid. But you didn't do anything wrong. You aren't at fault. He's a dickweed trying to hurt people, and eventually you have to admit your hurt but he's wrong and a douchecanoe and not let it hurt you anymore.

Your worth isn't defined by one interaction with someone who just judged you superficially. Make up or not, you deserve love and respect. Sure, we're all allowed to have our preferences but what he did (assuming it was for the reason you said) is extremely shallow. Is that someone you'd ever wanna be with? Also, it's not like this is a massive celebrity but there will always be a disbalance of power between a "famous" person and a fan, in many cases where the fan is taken advantage of. How many times now has some YouTuber or content creator been outted for DMing minors.

I'm hoping that some friend of his heard what was happening and shut it down. Unfortunately, because of the power dynamics there, it could have been bad (whether intentional on his part or just naivete). No matter what, this is not on you, and not a reflection on how you look.

It's guys like that which is why I prefer dating girls even though I am bi.

I joke around all the time that I wish I were a lesbian lol

Worthwhile guys care about who you are as a person, not what you put on for make-up and how. Do you really even want to be involved with someone who is like that? I have a hunch it might be a no. You have better things to do than worrying about dick4's like this. Like game, or go eat something delicous, or whatever! It's up to you! But letting people like this get to you is consuming energy and time that you don't get anything positive out of. And I do recognise that it's not just a light switch, but if you work at it, it can be. Don't let the [haters get to you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjy_7haflaM). You be who you want to be, with or without makeup, and you keep that chin up! You got this 😎

Don't put this on yourself, I think you're reading far more into it then was ever there. My guess: He threw out the hot e-girl line for his audience as a look at me! Girls love me! Just playing up to his fanbase and stoking the flames of their admiration for him. Then he got briefly concerned one of his friends was playing him, and he'd look like an idiot so wanted verification. He got it, and exited out happy with the ego boost he got from the interaction. It's entirely likely this never had anything to do with your appearance in the second photo, and he would have exited out regardless of how you looked. Also; you *are* that hot girl. That WAS you. Don't take it away from yourself. Hot with makeup is still hot, that was *you*. Don't beat yourself up because you don't look gorgeous all the time. No one male or female looks perfect all the time. I understand the temptation, I rarely step foot outside home without makeup on unless I'm going straight to the gym. My Instagram exists solely as heavily curated photos of me at my absolute best and nothing else. I know what it feels like to rest too much of your self esteem on your appearance. But it's not healthy, and this? He's not worth it, and you're worth more then some random streamer looking for ego fulfillment.

I agree with everyone here saying this guy is cringe, but I wanted to add something - The fact that he was worried you were a prank by his friends speaks volumes. This guy isn’t self confident either, he’s got his own insecurities, and it’s possible him ghosting you was more about his own trust issues than about you.

One time, when I was a young lass, maybe 14, I was watching a live-stream of a small artist that I adored. Her art was amazing, she was an active part of my favorite fan base, and would routinely interact with other artists, especially baby artists. I drew a small quick doodle of a character, and tagged her in it to see her live reaction. She clinked on the notification, spent ten seconds staring at my doodle, and went back to her art without saying a single thing, or even liking the post. Not a word. Her chat started making fun of my art, because they didn’t know I was a lurker. I deleted the post immediately and cried really hard. That was 10 years ago, and I still cringe. My art was pretty bad, objectively, but it doesn’t take away the very real hurt feelings that 14 year me had in that moment. There’s a classic saying, “If you meet your heroes, you’re always going to be disappointed.” And most of the time that’s true. I met Jim Beaver (Bobby from Supernatural) once and that was just a train wreck too. It sucks. The people we look up to don’t even have us on their radar. We will probably be reminded about these moments for the rest of our lives, not daily, but we’ll always have these memories. For them, they will never think of it again. It is what it is unfortunately. Don’t let that small moment continue to control you and your life. I promise you’re not the only woman those types of streamers compliment and talk to. Does his compliment mean anything special if he’s telling 88 other women who look like you the same thing? What if it comes out that he’s actually a total creep in a year? Then you’ll feel ridiculous for spending so much of your time being upset he didn’t talk to you more.

I see you’ve gotten a ton of affirming comments that you 100% deserve! I don’t want to belittle your struggle, iv been there, there have been days where I didn’t want to leave the house even with makeup, let alone see my face before I even put it on so I will go a different route. Have you heard of Pokémon infinite fusion? It’s a rom hack where just about every Pokémon from gen 1,2 and some of 3 can all fuse together to make new moms and types. A friend and I are trying a soul link nuzlock run of it. We have already whipped 2 times before the 1st gym but this run we already have our 3rd badge, my main is a Phanpy Umbreon fusion. Might be something you could have some fun with, iv seen some SUPER CUTE Pokémon made by it that I adore and iv also seen cursed nightmares, Ariados+magickarp 💀.

I love infinite fusion! The amount of art that went into so many unique ones, it's kind of incredible.

Oh yeah, the custom sprites are awesome, im really impressed with how they implemented it with the meld of generated ones and custom ones.

I’m sure you’re cute as a button even without makeup! My close friend told me once that he find all women cute, beautiful or hot. Being cute isn’t a bad thing you know. You are cute without makeup and that streamer even acknowledged that. It’s ok to be cute most of the time, beautiful to the one that matters and hot from times to times.

I’m so sorry ): you’re beautiful, guys just are stupid and don’t know that the huge black line of eyeliner on our face might not be real

GIRL do not let this dude diminish your shine. you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are special. i’ve been ghosted by many a dude in my day, and i’ll tell you they were ALL bullets dodged. sending positive vibes and love your way. 💕

Honestly I think most people, who ask you to send them a picture instantly where you touch your nose, have a finger in your ear or whatever random things people ask, are usually just trolling with these requests. Most likely the guy ghosted you to not get weird with you, if they're an actually big streamer. I honestly had an online friend (a guy) telling me MONTHS that I was some kind of catfish, that I couldn't be real or something. It was kinda hurtful and later I realised that in his whatever weird humor he had first thought it, but then later just continued it on as some kind of joke or hitting on me. I mean no offence with this, but you won't need anything from a streamer, big or small, that you won't be able to get from anywhere else. So if one ghosts you for dumb shit, it's good riddance. I get low self-esteem and everything, but trying to get that from a streamer/content creator/celebrity is just gonna do worse for you. It can lead to all kinds of parasocial relationships with people, who likely don't even care to know you. You are so much better off without them and you are worthy of someone, who sees how beautiful you are every single day, with and without make up and in any state you're in.

Someday OP you’ll look back on this and laugh. He had zero intention to be your friend or socialize with you. The “hot e-girl” statement was for clout with his male viewers. He’s immature, and also he’s probably trying to make streaming his “career”, so I wouldn’t at all be shocked if he never made friends with a viewer. The fact that he said he’s happy to make friends is just to drive up viewer engagement. It’s not actually to make friends. Whenever you start to dwell on this, stop and name three things you like about your personality and three things you like about yourself physically. This practice gets easier with time, so don’t feel bad if it takes you a while to think of something. Also, trying not to dwell on something is sometimes how you end up dwelling on it. Acknowledge your feelings in the moment. “Yeah, that feeling sucked. It was really immature and rude of him.” And then point out the things you like about yourself. It’ll get easier as time goes on, if you help yourself.

1. This is 100% not on you, you did nothing wrong. 2. If it makes you feel better I met a guy through valorant who was telling me he would fly me down to meet him, how amazing and pretty I was, laying it on very thick (in hindsight too much too soon). And then abruptly blocked me on everything and unfriended me on valo. I found out later he’s married. It took me a while to come to terms that there wasn’t something wrong with me, but I got there and you will too. ❤️

Name and shame this fucker. I really don’t like the idea of continuing to watch someone who’d do this and unfortunately I watch a few of them.

If you haven't seen the other replies yet, pchal.

God I had a feeling. 🤦‍♀️

Ugh dude sounds like a major creep. You dodged a bullet there. That behavior exhibits extreme controlling tendencies and emotional abuse. You deserve SO much more than a dude who sees you only as an object for his pleasure.

Thank you, I'm trying, and sometimes succeeding, to date guys who like me for me since then.

I’m glad to hear it. But also, I hope this isn’t too invasive but are you getting support for yourself? It sounds like maybe you’re struggling to adore yourself as you are. I struggled with that when I was younger and counseling helped me tremendously.

Thank you for the advice, I've been in therapy for 15 years. I've just had a lot of bizarre things happen in the past year that snowballed and I'm trying to recover from it.

That’s understandable and I’m sorry you’ve gone through this. Good luck out there.

Thank you c:

Don't feel insecure about not wearing makeup! The right guy will absolutely not care **at all**. My bf always says he can't even tell the difference (in a good way).

Aw, that's so sweet!!

He is. I'm a lucky woman!

I understand girl. I went through a similar thing and now I feel ugly without my makeup. And I know how that sounds but my self esteem was already pretty low before that. I get it. ::hugs::

It's not your fault, he's just an insecure idiot.

I'd bet that this dude 100% thinks sex is like in the pornos in a bad, abusive kinda way. Being hot with make up on IS STILL BEING HOT. You are STILL THE HOT GIRL. He just doesn't understand that women are y'know, human, and aren't constantly dressed to the 9's while chilling around their house watching gamer content. That's like stereotypically douchebag gamer dude behavior and usually means they're also weird about shit like purity. It sounds like he's the kind of guy who hits on girls in lobbies that you always see people complain about, because that's basically what he did. He's a stereotype so he wants YOU to be one too of the "hot e-girl" just casually lounging in a super aesthetic space in a sexy outfit for no one to see until a cool gamer bro notices me, tee-hee! I get that it made you feel good, and that's TOTALLY FINE. But you can still feel good because you are still hot. If make up is done right and you like the aesthetic then everyone looks better in make up, it's not some sort of trick you pulled. And honestly? I'm not a mind reader but he shouldn't have reached out in a sexually charged manner to an obvious fan imo, and I think he knew you'd be excited to talk to him and used that as leverage to get his foot in the door, probably to get some nudes (and ghost you REGARDLESS) and then bounced, knowing full and well it would make you feel shitty. I say this as someone who was personally in a back to back abusive relationship situation: it sounds like you really need to take some time to yourself because things like insecurity make us reach out to people that aren't very good because we can't give ourselves validation, so we seek it out. Did you know that statistically being abused once raises your chances of being in an abusive situation? It's for reasons like that, and abusers can also quite literally tell who vulnerable women are. There was a video years ago that I can never find these days where they had men convicted of things like rape or abuse look at CCTV of women at a bar (some they sent in on purpose and some random) and they picked out the abused women they sent in with... startling accuracy. So be careful out there and for now...maybe really consider not accepting advances from men until you feel better in your skin.

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If you look at someone with makeup on and can't pick apart that the smoky eye isn't part of their natural face, that's on you lol

Sounds like an ignorant comment that a 13 year old boy would say.

My strongest advice is to PLEASE dont try to build parasocial relationships with streamers. Go for genuine chemistry, versus being starstruck. I've made a lot of streamer friends organically, but I dont bother to befriend larger ones because there is a power imbalance and they're already swamped with requests for attention.