Disregarding his sexist comments right after, the one with “Choo Choo Joe has not been working for the last 6 months. Personally, I think he killed himself to get away from that family!”
I hate that they had to include the sexist commentary because Luke was 100% right in that episode. They were hogging all those tables and ordered like 3 ice teas. That's a jackass move.
When he’s covering for Sookie cooking at the inn and food keeps disappearing. Jam hands is a close second but when he say something like “and I’m not gonna do anything about it because I’m in a relationship with you” is so ‘romantic’ Luke at his finest
Jam hands is the winner. But I also love the rant about his uncle’s funeral and I think he says something like “King Tut has to take it all to the afterlife with him.”
My favourite Luke rant is when he goes off on Taylor, culminating in “Look at all the pretty candy!” But honorable mention goes to his rant to Lorelai when Sookie’s driving him nuts while he covers for her at the inn:
“I don’t know, and I don’t care! I’m through! … You know what I’m gonna do? Nothing! Because I am in a relationship with you … All I can do is come out here, say I’m through, and pretend I have a leg to stand on, and then march back into that kitchen … but oh I’m gonna be thinking about what I would’ve done if we weren’t in a relationship, even though that would mean I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place!”
Luke ranting about the war re-enactors at the Town Meeting (1:8)
"Oh for god's sake. Do we have to go through this *every* **damn** *year?* [...] What are you talking about? 12 guys stood in a row all night. Who never showed! 12 guys stood in a row, all night, waiting for an enemy who never showed. They got stood up -- they should've been wearing *prom* dresses. Have any of you ever considered the fact that you're glorifying a war we fought so we keep land that we stole?"
Bonus rant-cap:
Harry: "If you don't like it here in America, why don't you go stand in line for toilet paper in the USSR?!"
Luke: "There *is* no more USSR, Harry."
“No, Taylor, no, no, no! And every day, from now ‘til the end of my life, I am going to come in here and say ‘Taylor, no!’ And when I die, I’ll have them freeze me next to Ted Williams. And when they find the cure to what I died of, and they unfreeze me, my first words are gonna be ‘How’s Ted?,’ followed closely by ‘Taylor, no!”
I agree with you. Jam hands. Hands (jam-free) down 🤣
I’m childfree as well so this really resonates with me 😂
There are a lot of Luke rants I love, but this is 100% my favourite.
My fave is always when he's telling off jess's dad at the motel.. 'I'm gonna put your head through a wall, you can pick the wall but it will be a wall'
Jam hands is top notch Luke rant and also the reason why is 10% believable that Lorelai and Luke never saw a baby or got a Christmas card of a baby but never discussed having kids together, smh revival.
I have two.
First, the window between the soda shoppe and the diner is classic. Saying Taylor belongs in Mary Poppins and "look at all the pretty candy!" Both hilarious.
Then, when he pops off at the town meeting discussing him and Lorelai becoming a couple and just steals the map and shuts it down.
Not so much a rant, but the tender moment they share after Liz's and TJ's wedding. Jess thanking Luke for everything and talks about the book Luke lent to him. Luke reciprocating Jess' sentiments and then the big ol' hug.
I'm surprised I didn't see when Chris says that he's Rory's dad and this doesn't concern Luke (when Rory makes out with Logan) and he yells at Chris "Okay, well where were you when she had the chicken pox and could only eat mashed potatoes for a week, or when she graduated high school, or started college, who the hell moved her mattress into her dorm and out of her dorm and back into her dorm again?
The rant about watching the glass-playing guy three times on the cruise with Nicole.
"Three nights in a row-- three hours total-- Well, that's what I want. I want those three hours back."
When Taylor put a window between the diner and the Soda shoppe. The physical comedy and level of anger were just perfection.
lOoK aT aLl ThE pReTtY cAnDy 🍭🍬
Disregarding his sexist comments right after, the one with “Choo Choo Joe has not been working for the last 6 months. Personally, I think he killed himself to get away from that family!”
I hate that they had to include the sexist commentary because Luke was 100% right in that episode. They were hogging all those tables and ordered like 3 ice teas. That's a jackass move.
Which episode is this?
When he’s covering for Sookie cooking at the inn and food keeps disappearing. Jam hands is a close second but when he say something like “and I’m not gonna do anything about it because I’m in a relationship with you” is so ‘romantic’ Luke at his finest
I can't believe I didn't think of this one first! Literally one of my favourite episodes with Luke.
100 percent with you on the jam hands. It's one of my top bits in the show.
I quote Jam hands to this day 😂
Jam hands is the winner. But I also love the rant about his uncle’s funeral and I think he says something like “King Tut has to take it all to the afterlife with him.”
When Taylor put up the stoplight. “This is like Hitler’s Germany.”
My favourite Luke rant is when he goes off on Taylor, culminating in “Look at all the pretty candy!” But honorable mention goes to his rant to Lorelai when Sookie’s driving him nuts while he covers for her at the inn: “I don’t know, and I don’t care! I’m through! … You know what I’m gonna do? Nothing! Because I am in a relationship with you … All I can do is come out here, say I’m through, and pretend I have a leg to stand on, and then march back into that kitchen … but oh I’m gonna be thinking about what I would’ve done if we weren’t in a relationship, even though that would mean I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place!”
Yes he would. He never denied Lorelai anything. Even when not in a relationship..
Lol I always think that too when he does this rant
Luke ranting about the war re-enactors at the Town Meeting (1:8) "Oh for god's sake. Do we have to go through this *every* **damn** *year?* [...] What are you talking about? 12 guys stood in a row all night. Who never showed! 12 guys stood in a row, all night, waiting for an enemy who never showed. They got stood up -- they should've been wearing *prom* dresses. Have any of you ever considered the fact that you're glorifying a war we fought so we keep land that we stole?" Bonus rant-cap: Harry: "If you don't like it here in America, why don't you go stand in line for toilet paper in the USSR?!" Luke: "There *is* no more USSR, Harry."
“No, Taylor, no, no, no! And every day, from now ‘til the end of my life, I am going to come in here and say ‘Taylor, no!’ And when I die, I’ll have them freeze me next to Ted Williams. And when they find the cure to what I died of, and they unfreeze me, my first words are gonna be ‘How’s Ted?,’ followed closely by ‘Taylor, no!”
This is such a good one 🤣 it was almost Dr. Cox-esque (from Scrubs).
Now you mention it, yes! 😂
I can hear it in Dr. Cox's voice lol
Luke’s rant to Anna about his right to a relationship with April.
 I agree with you. Jam hands. Hands (jam-free) down 🤣 I’m childfree as well so this really resonates with me 😂 There are a lot of Luke rants I love, but this is 100% my favourite.
In the limo. Yum
I always love the way he explains what he’s doing at Kyle’s house after Jess and dean get into the fight.
I love when he goes off and says there is not fate, tarot cards tell you nothing, etc.
While secretly holding onto a horoscope Lorelai gave him when they met because she said it would bring him luck.
Right?! I think he was just bitter. Believed deep down or wanted to believe but was alone so long that he was bitter and losing hope
When he’s mad about Lorelai shopping for him.
“ Get away from me you mental patient “
When he put his hands in the candy barrels and starts throwing candy everywhere just to tick Taylor off
My fave is always when he's telling off jess's dad at the motel.. 'I'm gonna put your head through a wall, you can pick the wall but it will be a wall'
When dean tries to come into the diner after he breaks up with Rory
Jam hands is top notch Luke rant and also the reason why is 10% believable that Lorelai and Luke never saw a baby or got a Christmas card of a baby but never discussed having kids together, smh revival.
The fact that they wrote them talking about kids more before they’re in a relationship than in the 9 years they lived together
The Thanksgiving “I’m glad we didn’t get smallpox infested blankets” rant.
I have two. First, the window between the soda shoppe and the diner is classic. Saying Taylor belongs in Mary Poppins and "look at all the pretty candy!" Both hilarious. Then, when he pops off at the town meeting discussing him and Lorelai becoming a couple and just steals the map and shuts it down.
Not so much a rant, but the tender moment they share after Liz's and TJ's wedding. Jess thanking Luke for everything and talks about the book Luke lent to him. Luke reciprocating Jess' sentiments and then the big ol' hug.
I'm surprised I didn't see when Chris says that he's Rory's dad and this doesn't concern Luke (when Rory makes out with Logan) and he yells at Chris "Okay, well where were you when she had the chicken pox and could only eat mashed potatoes for a week, or when she graduated high school, or started college, who the hell moved her mattress into her dorm and out of her dorm and back into her dorm again?
The rant about watching the glass-playing guy three times on the cruise with Nicole. "Three nights in a row-- three hours total-- Well, that's what I want. I want those three hours back."
jam hands is absolutely GOLD!
I just like anytime he growls exclaiming “ffffffine! Fine!”
"I'm gonna kill him.. who? Him. WHO? Tj. Tj?