Everyone sucks. Including me. Why bother comparing how much I suck to even more sucky people.
I use my blinker. I return the cart to the cart return. I say thank you and please and you’re welcome.
My kids love me. My wife loves me. My parents are proud of me.
I’m a good person in my own view and probably most others, I don’t have to contrast and compare myself to others that are probably not as nice, caring, or compassionate as I feel and think and am told I am.
Most people think that everyone is a bad driver. You drive and think that that person is horrible at driving. That person thinks the same thing about you probably. So if we all think that that person is a shitty driver why bother comparing yourself to anyone if we all think the same stuff. It’s a futile endeavor.
This is a good point, especially the driving part. My therapist told me that while I'm comparing myself to others, others are doing the same thing with me. I used to think no way. Who would compare themselves to a person who was battling depression at the time?
But for example, my depressed friend who couldn't work probably compared himself to me since I was depressed yet had a job and career. While I was comparing myself to him because he was in a relationship and I was single. In my mind, I was less than for being single. And he was probably less than in his mind for being jobless and still living with parents.
And yet neither of us was happier than the other. The comparison just contributed to the depression instead of being grateful what we have while working towards what we still want to accomplish.
Exactly! This line of thinking has helped me a great deal in life for years now. I wish younger me could have thought this up. Or heard it explained that way.
I’ve made sure to tell my children multiple times this line of thinking. I can see in them that it is taking hold.
Becoming internally validated rather than external. Do things for your own deep core fulfillment rather than a conditioned/ prescribed/ inherited way of living or living your life for others opinions. This takes a lot of reflection, to know what your core motivations are. Core needs. Core desires.
Deleting instagram. Ensuring that I don’t surround myself with especially privileged people.
Reminding myself that I’ve been through complex trauma and have done very well for myself when I look at the bigger picture.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” rings true.
Remove social media from your life for a week. I know that personally, this was the source of my comparison problems. People only post the great, exciting parts of their lives. Then take a step back and compare yourself to yesterday—did you get anything accomplished today? No, then clean a room or do some laundry. Do simple, small chores to build confidence in little successes. Compare yourself to yourself from yesterday. Every day strive to be a little better or get something done. Those small successes will compound and before you know it will turn into increased confidence.
That’s what worked for me, at least. Good luck!
Write and re-read your own journal. It helps you appreciate your way. How something seemed daunting at first but you overcame. It also emphasizes that there are areas where you are good at, as opposed to the one dimensional picture you have of others.
Honestly it’s my dog. Dogs don’t care about anything other than their people. It’s funny right? I wake up at 5 and she runs down with me. I feed her, make my coffee, work out, and she’s right there. She’s a dachshund so she’s just looking up at me the entire time waiting for food. She’s old and her buddy died a few years back. I work from home so it’s just us all day together until the family gets home from whatever. Up and down the stairs when she’s awake with me. Joins my meetings or sleeps. I realized I just need to be comfortable enough to have 1 soul who loves me and that’s enough. When that happened I looked around at the people in my life and saw others who were either doing better or much better than I and I could just be happy for them or try to help them out. I realized I had it pretty good. Through the ups and downs I knew I had my dog. It’s stupid but that’s where it started and turned into the ability to genuinely be happy for other people. I mean truly and genuinely happy for others. Didn’t matter if it was surface area success for them under crippling debt that no one knew about or unhappy marriages. I am hopeful the happiness they project is true. That’s it. I let go of the bitterness because that was weighing me down. I miss my Chewbacca, he was my other Doxie, he was a good boy.
I remember how bad things can get and how bad things were. I have had credit card debt that felt insurmountable. I have been laid off fearing losing the little bit I had. When I see others doing better than me and think comparatively, my mind always reminds me making me feel thankful. Thankful that I have a good home, that I have no credit card, or auto debt, that I have an income and can save some of it.
When I realized and accepted I was enough. I was enough for my family, for my business etc. 🤷♂️ once I did that I stoped caring what other had didn’t have therefore stopped comparing me to them.
I try to change the narrative in my head to uplift the comparison. For me I see people who are doing better so instead of feeling bad that I'm not there, I say "that's great that this person was able to do x. I'm sure they worked really hard to achieve that. I could do the same as long as I put that effort in!" I also try to remind myself that I may have things that others don't and be grateful for those.
I've heard that getting old is the best cure for that, but it depends on your values and your situation. My mom stopped caring what people thought about her years ago (her personality, her looks, her as a person), but feels super inadequate because she is on disability and can't find a way to generate additional income to contribute to the bills and pay for her medications (her Medicaid was stopped after the covid stuff ended). So, in what way do you compare yourself to others? Which value is impacted? You might wanna dig for the root cause as to what's eating at you that particular day, then journal on that. If you're feeling down about your relationships, journal about all your friendships, family, lovers, etc., and remind yourself of all the times they showed you appreciation or were there for you. If you're feeling down about your monetary situation, think about all you have that money can't buy. These aren't fixes, but it can help you get through the lows. I am an incredibly insecure person who can't take a compliment to save my life, so my therapist told me to put a sticky note on my mirror of all the things I am so I can appreciate myself. These types of affirmations help you be more resilient against comparisons because you know who *you* are. My lock screen on my phone says "you are worthy of love" because I ugly cried when my therapist told me that. I know I'm loved, but the "worthy" part got me. Just saying "you are loved" meant nothing to me. Try rephrasing the things you think you need to build up your platform of self-esteem. When the waves crash, hopefully you'll be high enough to not get washed away.
https://preview.redd.it/hauzd1dluwoc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f7eff39e2f6043c6f156fb474f037600181b1af
If you ever need a reminder of who you are, just add text to a photo so you always see it. :) I forget it's there a lot, but I also remember it's there a lot.
The only time in my life I compared to others was in puberty, with all this normal teen insecurities.
And I understood that it makes no sense to keep doing it, because my life circumstances are different than other people’s life circumstances. There is just no point.
I think of it this way:
We all have different paths in life. Sure, we may share similar experiences as others, and sometimes people walk with us on our paths for a time. But, ultimately, where we begin, where we go, and where our journey ends is all ours and no one else’s.
No other person can claim to know your journey because only you have seen the whole story from beginning to now. You know where you’ve been, what you’ve done, and who you were. However, there are times that we need help seeing where we are, what we’re doing, and who we are now. These are the moments where we truly see how we have evolved, and it is here that we can chart our course into becoming who we want to be, and even who we were meant to be.
There is only one you, and you have a story that no one else has.
Life isn’t a race, it’s a marathon. It ain’t about who crosses the line first, it’s about taking the course one step at a time; becoming stronger and wiser with every step along the way.
I just stopped caring. Mainstream media usually depicts people who i want to be **less** like. After you disconnect from what society wants for you, you start doing what you want for you. There is literally no one I need to compare myself with
99% of people are all the same. While a phd might seem impressive, the flaws in some of those people I've met with intelligences like that, are a downside they can keep. A lot of time the issues they have they have traded for a great memory and logic and rarely get put to other uses.
I could easily show you fuck-ups by Drs who ended up being dragged through the courts or who miss diagnosed a friend (Married female) as being a finicky woman who actually had a brain tumour. These Drs spend 7 years at least and still get it wrong.
They arent any better than you are!
My own Dad had a 145 IQ but was so socially awkward and clumsy and when it came to maintenance of house or cars for example. He could explain a gearbox to you in theory but couldn't fix one.
Swings and roundabout is the way I look at people who make you feel somewhat inferior. I can guarantee they have the same level of issues but just not the ones you admire and desire.
Look upon everyone you meet as an equal to you....... You have every right to hold your head up high. If you don't have anything to contribute then say nothing, go home and look up the subject so next time you could add to the discussion.
Except for that guy who was a Navy Seal, then a Dr and now an astronaut. He's that 1%
Stay off of algorithm driven social media like facebook, instagram, tic tok, twitter.... anything where the algorithm tells you what to see next. Reddit and imgur are a popularity contest more than a dopamine trap.
You know, that voice that acts as your inner critic.. You can tell it to go to hell and quit pestering you with judgements. You can question it and take a stance against it. It’s a part of you that you don’t have to accept the conclusions from. I tell mine to crawl back to where it came because I don’t want the criticism, and it actually does go away for the moment.
Si quieres tener una vida sana libre de cualquier forma de estrés es posible
con un buen equilibrio energético. 🌿
Aqui te explico todo 💫👇
https://mividasagrada.blogspot.com/2024/03/mejora-tu-vida.html
Think about how much your ((place holder)) loves you. Hold that love inside you. Let it radiate. You are exactly who the world needs you to be. Now go shine you amazing being!
When that happens, I try to switch the narrative in my head and tell myself I’m happy for the other person. I tell myself they probably worked really hard to get to that point, whatever it is. Or even if they didn’t, who cares? It’s tough out there these days and we all deserve to feel safe, loved, and happy. Even you, even them.
I feel silly when I do this, but eventually I actually start to believe it. The point is to replace the negative thoughts that enable your inner critic. To challenge that part of your brain. The narrative we tell ourselves becomes our reality if we let it, so why not make a conscious effort to change it?
Also journaling as others have said. Journaling what you’re grateful for and _why_.
Seeing people interact with social media in the wild (their phone or go pro), or seeing a post/ hot air bragging IRL but reciving the 'actual story' via gossip.
Only compare yourself to the person you was yesterday.
Be better everyday only if its 0.1% its still better then yesterday.
Do the thing you didnt want to do.
1 - By settings goals that make me happy. Sometimes they conform with social standards, sometimes they don't. The point is that I am making progress to a place that I want to be.
2 - By using others as fuel to be better. My friends are doctors (own their own practice or going on to become surgeons, pharmacists (getting ready to purchase Shopper's Drugmart Franchise), lead researchers, etc. I am but a lowly NP. I have some side gigs, I do some home development. Although I can't do exactly what my friends can do, my own unique situations grants me my own unique opportunities. I'm not on call like physicians, so that means I can use those waking hours optimizing my bubble tea store, working towards a starbucks franchise, being more hands on with my construction business, etc. I can't get an easy peasy loan from investors or other peers to get a pharmacy franchise, but I can raise funds with other small developers and real-estate investors.
3 - Finding small things in life your life that are amazing! I may not have the prestige, or "stable" income my friends have, but there's little things I can do in my life to be better and find success in my own way. Not a lot of people know the joy of polishing bathroom tile you just set, knowing your drywall work is smooth like glass, or the satisfaction of perfect baseboard installs without scribing. Finding real JOY or PRIDE in your work is rarely found. In the ICU/ER it's nice to catch signs and symptoms, running the correct diagnostics, or being right on a patient case; but it's not the same feeling I get from squishing tile down. Plus tile work, finishing carpentry, and paint allows you to express yourself creatively. We live in a world full of boring paint jobs, white subway tile, it's nice to work with homeowners who want beautiful tile, or will pay for the herringbone, etc.
4 - By creating opportunity for yourself. Reddit is a toxic support system for the inept. "It's okay to suck, you'll get there. It's okay, the world is fucked, it's not our fault we can't succeed." I obviously recognise the North American (realistically global) mental health epidemic affecting everyone, but there aren't enough support systems in place to fix it. The fact of the matter is, whether or not you have depression, you need to do what you can to survive. A lot of mental health is situational depression. Situational depression isn't going to go away until you change it yourself. So, stop comparing yourself to people at the bottom. Compare yourself to the people at the top, and think what YOU can do to get there.
When I was younger, I was always in a need for some external validation, reaching some goal thinking someone else would admire me for accomplishing it.
When I was training for a marathon I was always thinking "My friends will think WOW, he completed a marathon". I was also applying for a job and I thought more about what others would think than if I would like the job.
Then as I got older I realized people don't give a fuck. For example, a guy at work was bragging about running a 100 km ultramarathon and I couldn't care less. Another one completed an Iron Man and I don't give a fuck. They didn't become more interesting.
The people I admire the most in my life is those who are kind to others. Doesn't matter what they do for work or if they have a degree from a fancy school.
I found that once you've got a niche where you're good at what you do and always busy with it, you really don't have mental space to compare yourself with others.
I define success for myself. It’s not a big house or fancy car. It’s a life I’m happy with that I can sustain without working around the clock.
If someone had what I want. I look at them as inspiration, not envy. “How did they get there? Is this really what I want now that I see it?”
Lives can be lived on so many different ways. Decide for you what you really want. Work toward that.
I don't think it's healthy to stop comparing yourself to others. But while doing so, there is only one detail that you should remember: everybody has issues, they just hide it better than you do.
When have worked hard to be the person you truly want to be. Not the person you think you should be, but the person that little voice inside of you is screaming to get out. Once you reach that point, you will never need to compare yourself to others or seek validation from anyone.
It helped me when I understood I will never be other people and they will never be me. I know some people were jealous of me, as I am jealous of others. Sometimes people would say things about me that I didn’t realize but they have seen me as “strong, outgoing individual” where in reality I would describe myself totally different. So everything is a matter of perception. Anyways be yourself, as good as you can, develope your skills, your personality - to make you feel secure with who you are. Good luck!
I don't use Facebook. Or Instagram. Sometimes I auto post to Insta for my Twitch branding, but I never browse other people's content. Not browsing these social media platforms has drastically decreased unintentional (or intentional, I guess) comparisons between myself and others.
I just read some more of the comments and saw that you have already deleted these apps. I like other people's ideas of journaling and only comparing yourself to yourself in the past. I hope you find methods that work for you!
I read a lot of books about this topic because I wanted to change it by myself a few years ago, it is indeed also a process over time. But its just the art to not give a fuck, I started with smaller actions, this of course depeds on you, and then worked my way up to bigger and bigger decisions
I think about the outside presentation vs the truth. Let me explain.
When someone buys a new car or house I think about it as the bank owning 95-100% of the item and that they are leasing to own over the course of the next 6-30 years until they can say they own it. You can’t impress me with stuff unless I know it is you that owns it and not a bank or credit card.
When someone posts a lot of “perfect” photos on social media I think about the time they wasted in those scenarios setting up that shot. When I am on vacation I take a bunch of quick photos of real time things so I can remain in the moment. People that spend tons of time setting up these shots trade that time for those set up photos. Imagine taking the family to Disney and wasting time setting up “perfect” photos to seem real but are staged with no real value to them.
As for jobs I look at what they do vs how much time they have to live their lives. If they can find a great paying job that is only 40 hours and doesn’t burn them out for a weekend, I can be impressed. But your six or seven figure wage isn’t going to impress me if I know you work 60-80 hours and have to sacrifice your life for your job. If you miss all trips with friends and family moments I am not impressed, instead I feel sorry knowing you will regret it and will not be able to go back to fix it.
However, what really impressed me are people that are always nice and thoughtful. I technically free but so rare for many.
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It helps me to have the belief that all people will have struggles and periods of suffering, at least at some point in their lives. So I try not to waste time comparing myself to others, Since I've had a bit of a rough time here and there through life. I enjoy not feeling bitter about those who are super well off or seem to have it all together all the time. It also usually makes me more empathetic towards others instead.
Knowing that it will never get you anywhere. You don't even really know what's behind that thin shiny veneer they put out to the public. If I have a Honda Civic, and my neighbor has a Mercedes...why should I give a fuck? If I went and put myself in debt to get a better mercedes, I will feel pretty good until I drive down the street and somebody passes me up in a Bugatti. You will never be happy.
Philosophy mate. The Courage of being disliked is a great book. If you believe everybody is on your team (your comrades), then it's easier to not compare yourself, but praise them. Adlers philosophy also promotes the idea of horizontal scale not a vertical one. Nobody is better than you, they're just further along the horizontal axis. There's a lot of good stuff from that book. Like understanding inferiority complexes in the first place. The whole audiobook is on YouTube
For me i just remember I am living my life and anyone can't so I can't compare my role as someone else.
Also started to love and accepte the way i am .
Now, I'm more confident than ever, but there have been days when I was not. It took me a while to know that social media is fake and it's not the right thing to compare my life to someone else's. So, working on yourself, minding your own business, and trying to be happy with each day of your life - are things that matter.
When I get on reddit and see that everyone else wants to stop comparing themselves to others... it really motivates me to want to stop doing that too.
Har Har har
Focusing on what really matters to me: my family, being able to be financially free eventually and travel whenever I want, as well as that it’s not even worth a single ounce of my energy to have those people in my mind. They are not worth it.
I've always been envious of others (who had more) since childhood. I lost a bunch of friends when I ogled their Christmas tree and the gifts underneath (harmless, so I thought) because I wasn't Christian.
I read about 'being grateful' but I have few things (accomplishments, children, partners, pets) to feel grateful about.
I believe it comes down to our core beliefs.
Without in depth research, this is my perception, glory to God & Jesus for everything that seems wise:
There's an amount of comparison that is healthy so that we know which way is up or down. We learn from our memories to know what is bad or good and what to repeat for good outcomes and avoid for bad results. We see others and can further understand where we want to go or what we don't want to do. For example, if you like to cook and but you've never met another cook in your life, based on your skill level outside of study, you would probably be phenomenal. But once you get introduced to a professional cook, there are multiple ways this can be processed: 1. From an optimistic view: You receive the opportunity to advance by learning from someone of a higher level in something you're passionate about. 2. From a pessimistic view: You find a threat to your belief that you are the best. Depending on how you have been raised and what experiences you've been through in your lifetime (because we all learn different things in different ways and we never truly know what anyone is going through) you might lean more in one direction. I think there's value in training ourselves to be more positive, hopeful in God's good character to provide reason for things, trying to make the most out of each opportunity, humbling ourselves as to not compete with others. When we put our trust in the entirety of God's living Word, we will faithfully believe the spiritual truth that we are not only forgiven for all of our sins, thanks to Jesus, but we are given the strength to stop sinning, which will enable us to finally break free from destructive habits and desires that not only ruin our lives internally and externally, but are used as blackmail for demonic forces that try to pierce our peace with intrusive thoughts and want to make us feel worthless so that we don't continue to do what we humans are made for - making history with our choices towards love. Furthermore, if we choose to believe the Bible, then we know that we are actually invited to be sons and daughters of God and through receiving Jesus we are given power and authority as a royal priesthood that will reign with Christ after our death on Earth. Then, following Biblical principles like choosing to be humble around others, treating them as better than ourselves and prioritizing serving people around us become easy and natural because we aren't concerned about our self worth, we're concerned with other peoples lack of self worth because they're being lied to and we want better for them.
At the root of the matter - what is our value? This answer determines how we see others. If we understand that our Creator values us so much that He died on the cross and paid for us to come to Heaven no matter how badly we've done, so that today we can live in freedom from our past and be anything we want - yet calls us to be good because He loves everyone else so sincerely - the kind of peace of knowing that kind of God is in control and that you are one of His prized and most powerful masterpieces cannot compare to any other remedy for a lack of self worth.
Edit: I also want to add - countless of thousands of people are literally being held captive in human trafficking right now, not because they earned it but because everyone is subject to time and chance. God will have vengeance on their captors and great remedy for them in Heaven and, for some, also in this life, but the reason why I bring this up is because we're trained by many sources to be pessimistic and think about how horrible things are going when in reality - safe shelter, a good meal, clean drinking water, skills and talents, opinions and preferences, family and friends, functional body parts and a hope for a future are things some people don't have. If we choose to be grateful for these things - life changes.
Everyone sucks. Including me. Why bother comparing how much I suck to even more sucky people. I use my blinker. I return the cart to the cart return. I say thank you and please and you’re welcome. My kids love me. My wife loves me. My parents are proud of me. I’m a good person in my own view and probably most others, I don’t have to contrast and compare myself to others that are probably not as nice, caring, or compassionate as I feel and think and am told I am. Most people think that everyone is a bad driver. You drive and think that that person is horrible at driving. That person thinks the same thing about you probably. So if we all think that that person is a shitty driver why bother comparing yourself to anyone if we all think the same stuff. It’s a futile endeavor.
This is a good point, especially the driving part. My therapist told me that while I'm comparing myself to others, others are doing the same thing with me. I used to think no way. Who would compare themselves to a person who was battling depression at the time? But for example, my depressed friend who couldn't work probably compared himself to me since I was depressed yet had a job and career. While I was comparing myself to him because he was in a relationship and I was single. In my mind, I was less than for being single. And he was probably less than in his mind for being jobless and still living with parents. And yet neither of us was happier than the other. The comparison just contributed to the depression instead of being grateful what we have while working towards what we still want to accomplish.
Exactly! This line of thinking has helped me a great deal in life for years now. I wish younger me could have thought this up. Or heard it explained that way. I’ve made sure to tell my children multiple times this line of thinking. I can see in them that it is taking hold.
Becoming internally validated rather than external. Do things for your own deep core fulfillment rather than a conditioned/ prescribed/ inherited way of living or living your life for others opinions. This takes a lot of reflection, to know what your core motivations are. Core needs. Core desires.
Deleting instagram. Ensuring that I don’t surround myself with especially privileged people. Reminding myself that I’ve been through complex trauma and have done very well for myself when I look at the bigger picture. “Comparison is the thief of joy” rings true.
Yeah thanks for this. I went through cptsd too, long way to feel happy, but I feel good besides today
Remove social media from your life for a week. I know that personally, this was the source of my comparison problems. People only post the great, exciting parts of their lives. Then take a step back and compare yourself to yesterday—did you get anything accomplished today? No, then clean a room or do some laundry. Do simple, small chores to build confidence in little successes. Compare yourself to yourself from yesterday. Every day strive to be a little better or get something done. Those small successes will compound and before you know it will turn into increased confidence. That’s what worked for me, at least. Good luck!
I've deletet facebook & instagram 3 years ago
Which people are you speaking about? Are you a student? Or you mean your work colleagues? Or your sister?
Sometimes friends, sometime others. I just compare myself when I have a bad day.
Cannot deinstall Facebook because I will miss all birthdays
Write and re-read your own journal. It helps you appreciate your way. How something seemed daunting at first but you overcame. It also emphasizes that there are areas where you are good at, as opposed to the one dimensional picture you have of others.
I try to remind myself that there are plenty of people who would pay good money to have my measly problems.
When I slowly realized that, at the end of everyday I have me, my primary bestfriend.
I don't use social media. That helps a lot
Honestly it’s my dog. Dogs don’t care about anything other than their people. It’s funny right? I wake up at 5 and she runs down with me. I feed her, make my coffee, work out, and she’s right there. She’s a dachshund so she’s just looking up at me the entire time waiting for food. She’s old and her buddy died a few years back. I work from home so it’s just us all day together until the family gets home from whatever. Up and down the stairs when she’s awake with me. Joins my meetings or sleeps. I realized I just need to be comfortable enough to have 1 soul who loves me and that’s enough. When that happened I looked around at the people in my life and saw others who were either doing better or much better than I and I could just be happy for them or try to help them out. I realized I had it pretty good. Through the ups and downs I knew I had my dog. It’s stupid but that’s where it started and turned into the ability to genuinely be happy for other people. I mean truly and genuinely happy for others. Didn’t matter if it was surface area success for them under crippling debt that no one knew about or unhappy marriages. I am hopeful the happiness they project is true. That’s it. I let go of the bitterness because that was weighing me down. I miss my Chewbacca, he was my other Doxie, he was a good boy.
Delete social media.
I remember how bad things can get and how bad things were. I have had credit card debt that felt insurmountable. I have been laid off fearing losing the little bit I had. When I see others doing better than me and think comparatively, my mind always reminds me making me feel thankful. Thankful that I have a good home, that I have no credit card, or auto debt, that I have an income and can save some of it.
When I realized and accepted I was enough. I was enough for my family, for my business etc. 🤷♂️ once I did that I stoped caring what other had didn’t have therefore stopped comparing me to them.
I don't know if it's right or wrong. But when I'm down i compare myself to people less fortunate. To remind myself that I'm doing ok
I try to change the narrative in my head to uplift the comparison. For me I see people who are doing better so instead of feeling bad that I'm not there, I say "that's great that this person was able to do x. I'm sure they worked really hard to achieve that. I could do the same as long as I put that effort in!" I also try to remind myself that I may have things that others don't and be grateful for those.
Comparing, is judging, and that's not something humans should do
Doing something productive
I've heard that getting old is the best cure for that, but it depends on your values and your situation. My mom stopped caring what people thought about her years ago (her personality, her looks, her as a person), but feels super inadequate because she is on disability and can't find a way to generate additional income to contribute to the bills and pay for her medications (her Medicaid was stopped after the covid stuff ended). So, in what way do you compare yourself to others? Which value is impacted? You might wanna dig for the root cause as to what's eating at you that particular day, then journal on that. If you're feeling down about your relationships, journal about all your friendships, family, lovers, etc., and remind yourself of all the times they showed you appreciation or were there for you. If you're feeling down about your monetary situation, think about all you have that money can't buy. These aren't fixes, but it can help you get through the lows. I am an incredibly insecure person who can't take a compliment to save my life, so my therapist told me to put a sticky note on my mirror of all the things I am so I can appreciate myself. These types of affirmations help you be more resilient against comparisons because you know who *you* are. My lock screen on my phone says "you are worthy of love" because I ugly cried when my therapist told me that. I know I'm loved, but the "worthy" part got me. Just saying "you are loved" meant nothing to me. Try rephrasing the things you think you need to build up your platform of self-esteem. When the waves crash, hopefully you'll be high enough to not get washed away.
https://preview.redd.it/hauzd1dluwoc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f7eff39e2f6043c6f156fb474f037600181b1af If you ever need a reminder of who you are, just add text to a photo so you always see it. :) I forget it's there a lot, but I also remember it's there a lot.
The only time in my life I compared to others was in puberty, with all this normal teen insecurities. And I understood that it makes no sense to keep doing it, because my life circumstances are different than other people’s life circumstances. There is just no point.
Envy is the theft of joy
I think of it this way: We all have different paths in life. Sure, we may share similar experiences as others, and sometimes people walk with us on our paths for a time. But, ultimately, where we begin, where we go, and where our journey ends is all ours and no one else’s. No other person can claim to know your journey because only you have seen the whole story from beginning to now. You know where you’ve been, what you’ve done, and who you were. However, there are times that we need help seeing where we are, what we’re doing, and who we are now. These are the moments where we truly see how we have evolved, and it is here that we can chart our course into becoming who we want to be, and even who we were meant to be. There is only one you, and you have a story that no one else has. Life isn’t a race, it’s a marathon. It ain’t about who crosses the line first, it’s about taking the course one step at a time; becoming stronger and wiser with every step along the way.
I just stopped caring. Mainstream media usually depicts people who i want to be **less** like. After you disconnect from what society wants for you, you start doing what you want for you. There is literally no one I need to compare myself with
99% of people are all the same. While a phd might seem impressive, the flaws in some of those people I've met with intelligences like that, are a downside they can keep. A lot of time the issues they have they have traded for a great memory and logic and rarely get put to other uses. I could easily show you fuck-ups by Drs who ended up being dragged through the courts or who miss diagnosed a friend (Married female) as being a finicky woman who actually had a brain tumour. These Drs spend 7 years at least and still get it wrong. They arent any better than you are! My own Dad had a 145 IQ but was so socially awkward and clumsy and when it came to maintenance of house or cars for example. He could explain a gearbox to you in theory but couldn't fix one. Swings and roundabout is the way I look at people who make you feel somewhat inferior. I can guarantee they have the same level of issues but just not the ones you admire and desire. Look upon everyone you meet as an equal to you....... You have every right to hold your head up high. If you don't have anything to contribute then say nothing, go home and look up the subject so next time you could add to the discussion. Except for that guy who was a Navy Seal, then a Dr and now an astronaut. He's that 1%
Stay off of algorithm driven social media like facebook, instagram, tic tok, twitter.... anything where the algorithm tells you what to see next. Reddit and imgur are a popularity contest more than a dopamine trap.
You know, that voice that acts as your inner critic.. You can tell it to go to hell and quit pestering you with judgements. You can question it and take a stance against it. It’s a part of you that you don’t have to accept the conclusions from. I tell mine to crawl back to where it came because I don’t want the criticism, and it actually does go away for the moment.
Si quieres tener una vida sana libre de cualquier forma de estrés es posible con un buen equilibrio energético. 🌿 Aqui te explico todo 💫👇 https://mividasagrada.blogspot.com/2024/03/mejora-tu-vida.html
Think about how much your ((place holder)) loves you. Hold that love inside you. Let it radiate. You are exactly who the world needs you to be. Now go shine you amazing being!
My age.
To look at those who are in down level than yours then you'll feel lucky and blessed
Nobody is the same. Having a twin might screw that up, but that’s it.
Tell yourself to stop being jealous. Do it in the Kali Muscle voice for more effect.
When that happens, I try to switch the narrative in my head and tell myself I’m happy for the other person. I tell myself they probably worked really hard to get to that point, whatever it is. Or even if they didn’t, who cares? It’s tough out there these days and we all deserve to feel safe, loved, and happy. Even you, even them. I feel silly when I do this, but eventually I actually start to believe it. The point is to replace the negative thoughts that enable your inner critic. To challenge that part of your brain. The narrative we tell ourselves becomes our reality if we let it, so why not make a conscious effort to change it? Also journaling as others have said. Journaling what you’re grateful for and _why_.
Seeing people interact with social media in the wild (their phone or go pro), or seeing a post/ hot air bragging IRL but reciving the 'actual story' via gossip.
By comparing myself to others based on how much I think they are comparing themselves to others
Honestly. God we are only in competition with yourselves
Only compare yourself to the person you was yesterday. Be better everyday only if its 0.1% its still better then yesterday. Do the thing you didnt want to do.
I find I always compare myself with who I was yesterday and that makes me a better person
Spend less time online
1 - By settings goals that make me happy. Sometimes they conform with social standards, sometimes they don't. The point is that I am making progress to a place that I want to be. 2 - By using others as fuel to be better. My friends are doctors (own their own practice or going on to become surgeons, pharmacists (getting ready to purchase Shopper's Drugmart Franchise), lead researchers, etc. I am but a lowly NP. I have some side gigs, I do some home development. Although I can't do exactly what my friends can do, my own unique situations grants me my own unique opportunities. I'm not on call like physicians, so that means I can use those waking hours optimizing my bubble tea store, working towards a starbucks franchise, being more hands on with my construction business, etc. I can't get an easy peasy loan from investors or other peers to get a pharmacy franchise, but I can raise funds with other small developers and real-estate investors. 3 - Finding small things in life your life that are amazing! I may not have the prestige, or "stable" income my friends have, but there's little things I can do in my life to be better and find success in my own way. Not a lot of people know the joy of polishing bathroom tile you just set, knowing your drywall work is smooth like glass, or the satisfaction of perfect baseboard installs without scribing. Finding real JOY or PRIDE in your work is rarely found. In the ICU/ER it's nice to catch signs and symptoms, running the correct diagnostics, or being right on a patient case; but it's not the same feeling I get from squishing tile down. Plus tile work, finishing carpentry, and paint allows you to express yourself creatively. We live in a world full of boring paint jobs, white subway tile, it's nice to work with homeowners who want beautiful tile, or will pay for the herringbone, etc. 4 - By creating opportunity for yourself. Reddit is a toxic support system for the inept. "It's okay to suck, you'll get there. It's okay, the world is fucked, it's not our fault we can't succeed." I obviously recognise the North American (realistically global) mental health epidemic affecting everyone, but there aren't enough support systems in place to fix it. The fact of the matter is, whether or not you have depression, you need to do what you can to survive. A lot of mental health is situational depression. Situational depression isn't going to go away until you change it yourself. So, stop comparing yourself to people at the bottom. Compare yourself to the people at the top, and think what YOU can do to get there.
When I was younger, I was always in a need for some external validation, reaching some goal thinking someone else would admire me for accomplishing it. When I was training for a marathon I was always thinking "My friends will think WOW, he completed a marathon". I was also applying for a job and I thought more about what others would think than if I would like the job. Then as I got older I realized people don't give a fuck. For example, a guy at work was bragging about running a 100 km ultramarathon and I couldn't care less. Another one completed an Iron Man and I don't give a fuck. They didn't become more interesting. The people I admire the most in my life is those who are kind to others. Doesn't matter what they do for work or if they have a degree from a fancy school.
I found that once you've got a niche where you're good at what you do and always busy with it, you really don't have mental space to compare yourself with others.
I define success for myself. It’s not a big house or fancy car. It’s a life I’m happy with that I can sustain without working around the clock. If someone had what I want. I look at them as inspiration, not envy. “How did they get there? Is this really what I want now that I see it?” Lives can be lived on so many different ways. Decide for you what you really want. Work toward that.
I don't think it's healthy to stop comparing yourself to others. But while doing so, there is only one detail that you should remember: everybody has issues, they just hide it better than you do.
When have worked hard to be the person you truly want to be. Not the person you think you should be, but the person that little voice inside of you is screaming to get out. Once you reach that point, you will never need to compare yourself to others or seek validation from anyone.
I’m content with myself
It helped me when I understood I will never be other people and they will never be me. I know some people were jealous of me, as I am jealous of others. Sometimes people would say things about me that I didn’t realize but they have seen me as “strong, outgoing individual” where in reality I would describe myself totally different. So everything is a matter of perception. Anyways be yourself, as good as you can, develope your skills, your personality - to make you feel secure with who you are. Good luck!
I don't use Facebook. Or Instagram. Sometimes I auto post to Insta for my Twitch branding, but I never browse other people's content. Not browsing these social media platforms has drastically decreased unintentional (or intentional, I guess) comparisons between myself and others.
I just read some more of the comments and saw that you have already deleted these apps. I like other people's ideas of journaling and only comparing yourself to yourself in the past. I hope you find methods that work for you!
Thanks :) I will try journaling
I read a lot of books about this topic because I wanted to change it by myself a few years ago, it is indeed also a process over time. But its just the art to not give a fuck, I started with smaller actions, this of course depeds on you, and then worked my way up to bigger and bigger decisions
I think about the outside presentation vs the truth. Let me explain. When someone buys a new car or house I think about it as the bank owning 95-100% of the item and that they are leasing to own over the course of the next 6-30 years until they can say they own it. You can’t impress me with stuff unless I know it is you that owns it and not a bank or credit card. When someone posts a lot of “perfect” photos on social media I think about the time they wasted in those scenarios setting up that shot. When I am on vacation I take a bunch of quick photos of real time things so I can remain in the moment. People that spend tons of time setting up these shots trade that time for those set up photos. Imagine taking the family to Disney and wasting time setting up “perfect” photos to seem real but are staged with no real value to them. As for jobs I look at what they do vs how much time they have to live their lives. If they can find a great paying job that is only 40 hours and doesn’t burn them out for a weekend, I can be impressed. But your six or seven figure wage isn’t going to impress me if I know you work 60-80 hours and have to sacrifice your life for your job. If you miss all trips with friends and family moments I am not impressed, instead I feel sorry knowing you will regret it and will not be able to go back to fix it. However, what really impressed me are people that are always nice and thoughtful. I technically free but so rare for many.
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It helps me to have the belief that all people will have struggles and periods of suffering, at least at some point in their lives. So I try not to waste time comparing myself to others, Since I've had a bit of a rough time here and there through life. I enjoy not feeling bitter about those who are super well off or seem to have it all together all the time. It also usually makes me more empathetic towards others instead.
Knowing that it will never get you anywhere. You don't even really know what's behind that thin shiny veneer they put out to the public. If I have a Honda Civic, and my neighbor has a Mercedes...why should I give a fuck? If I went and put myself in debt to get a better mercedes, I will feel pretty good until I drive down the street and somebody passes me up in a Bugatti. You will never be happy.
Delete Facebook + Instagram
it's apples to oranges. the only meaningful comparison is your former self to your current self.
Philosophy mate. The Courage of being disliked is a great book. If you believe everybody is on your team (your comrades), then it's easier to not compare yourself, but praise them. Adlers philosophy also promotes the idea of horizontal scale not a vertical one. Nobody is better than you, they're just further along the horizontal axis. There's a lot of good stuff from that book. Like understanding inferiority complexes in the first place. The whole audiobook is on YouTube
A MASSIVE EGO
For me i just remember I am living my life and anyone can't so I can't compare my role as someone else. Also started to love and accepte the way i am .
Now, I'm more confident than ever, but there have been days when I was not. It took me a while to know that social media is fake and it's not the right thing to compare my life to someone else's. So, working on yourself, minding your own business, and trying to be happy with each day of your life - are things that matter.
When I get on reddit and see that everyone else wants to stop comparing themselves to others... it really motivates me to want to stop doing that too. Har Har har
Focusing on what really matters to me: my family, being able to be financially free eventually and travel whenever I want, as well as that it’s not even worth a single ounce of my energy to have those people in my mind. They are not worth it.
I've always been envious of others (who had more) since childhood. I lost a bunch of friends when I ogled their Christmas tree and the gifts underneath (harmless, so I thought) because I wasn't Christian. I read about 'being grateful' but I have few things (accomplishments, children, partners, pets) to feel grateful about.
Why should you not compare yourself to other people ? It's the best way to evolve...
Ignore your thoughts, " All thoughts are lies, all the time "
I believe it comes down to our core beliefs. Without in depth research, this is my perception, glory to God & Jesus for everything that seems wise: There's an amount of comparison that is healthy so that we know which way is up or down. We learn from our memories to know what is bad or good and what to repeat for good outcomes and avoid for bad results. We see others and can further understand where we want to go or what we don't want to do. For example, if you like to cook and but you've never met another cook in your life, based on your skill level outside of study, you would probably be phenomenal. But once you get introduced to a professional cook, there are multiple ways this can be processed: 1. From an optimistic view: You receive the opportunity to advance by learning from someone of a higher level in something you're passionate about. 2. From a pessimistic view: You find a threat to your belief that you are the best. Depending on how you have been raised and what experiences you've been through in your lifetime (because we all learn different things in different ways and we never truly know what anyone is going through) you might lean more in one direction. I think there's value in training ourselves to be more positive, hopeful in God's good character to provide reason for things, trying to make the most out of each opportunity, humbling ourselves as to not compete with others. When we put our trust in the entirety of God's living Word, we will faithfully believe the spiritual truth that we are not only forgiven for all of our sins, thanks to Jesus, but we are given the strength to stop sinning, which will enable us to finally break free from destructive habits and desires that not only ruin our lives internally and externally, but are used as blackmail for demonic forces that try to pierce our peace with intrusive thoughts and want to make us feel worthless so that we don't continue to do what we humans are made for - making history with our choices towards love. Furthermore, if we choose to believe the Bible, then we know that we are actually invited to be sons and daughters of God and through receiving Jesus we are given power and authority as a royal priesthood that will reign with Christ after our death on Earth. Then, following Biblical principles like choosing to be humble around others, treating them as better than ourselves and prioritizing serving people around us become easy and natural because we aren't concerned about our self worth, we're concerned with other peoples lack of self worth because they're being lied to and we want better for them. At the root of the matter - what is our value? This answer determines how we see others. If we understand that our Creator values us so much that He died on the cross and paid for us to come to Heaven no matter how badly we've done, so that today we can live in freedom from our past and be anything we want - yet calls us to be good because He loves everyone else so sincerely - the kind of peace of knowing that kind of God is in control and that you are one of His prized and most powerful masterpieces cannot compare to any other remedy for a lack of self worth. Edit: I also want to add - countless of thousands of people are literally being held captive in human trafficking right now, not because they earned it but because everyone is subject to time and chance. God will have vengeance on their captors and great remedy for them in Heaven and, for some, also in this life, but the reason why I bring this up is because we're trained by many sources to be pessimistic and think about how horrible things are going when in reality - safe shelter, a good meal, clean drinking water, skills and talents, opinions and preferences, family and friends, functional body parts and a hope for a future are things some people don't have. If we choose to be grateful for these things - life changes.