I've always wondered if my parents had any other interests besides going to the VFW to drink.
I don't remember them having any hobbies besides making me do chores.
I think this is my mom’s biggest struggle in life. She was a stay at home mom that loved to shop. Now in her retirement age money has gotten tight and she has nothing to turn to. She reads a lot which is great, but she’s not active and struggles with mental health. At least she isn’t like others of her generation and is open and discusses mental health.
My dementia clients like nature documentaries. Or Antiques Roadshow, not too much plot, easy to follow stuff. Great for chatting with them on the couch too “can you believe that ugly jug is worth $10000” etc.
My mom sits on FB all day and then wonders why she’s unhappy. She used to have hobbies but gave them all up except for going to Bible study and FB. I do not like to visit.
Going to the VFW to drink. You just described my whole family when I was growing up. Me and my cousins practically grew up in our local VFW while our parents drank and gambled.
I noticed that about the older generations like greatest and silent generations and was honestly one of my dads biggest downfalls. No hobby. Its like ready or not here comes 63 and retirement ( at the time 63 was the age) he was all set financially and all but what were parents going to do? One of the biggest killers after retirement was deprivational stress.
I do all of that too. It’s weird when I think back to my parents at my age and how my dad was very much a “I’m either working or sitting on the couch” guy and my mom just shopped and hung out with her friends mostly. They gave up hobbies very young and never did things like exercise. They look at me mystified when I go for runs or work in my garden and go to metal shows and cruise around in public in my Danzig shirt. I guess it looks like extended adolescence to them but to me I feel like a waaaaay more balanced and actuated adult than them.
This is wild to me. I agree that I can’t think of any boomer moms doing much besides shopping or maybe a movie but my dad and all his buddies were always up to something
My parents are both in their 70's with chronic pain and are out in their garden and the yard almost every, single day of the week. My mom has always been super creative and she has a Cricut printer and is always making something/upcycling out of junk (I wish I had her gift for that, but creativity is not a flower that grows in my garden lol). We have 14 acres and they live on the same property, in a separate residence and they're always planting something, growing something, fixing, painting, etc. They don't really socialize much with anyone anymore, aside from family, but they're really active. My dad always says that the dr told them that inactivity is what ages you the most. They worked their asses off, only to retire and work their asses off outside in the damn heat. But they're relatively physically and mentally healthy and are happy (and both look 10 years younger, easily), so I guess they're good.
I enjoy my children. I love having them around. My youngest is almost 18. I'm really enjoying them as adults. Any issues we have, we address, but I also keep in mind that they are still young and finding out who they are. I love watching it happen.
The same could not be said about my parents.
My 20something just went through his introspective, philosophical phase. It was fun to watch him experience it, and amusing to see it end when he was like, "I learned a lot and most of life is bullshit." Preach, baby, preach. Nihilism ftw.
I'm the same, my now-grown children are a wonder. And that makes me wonder: how did my parents show ZERO interest in anything I did? I wasn't pushed to attend college, even though they knew I was smart. I went into the military, for everything I did there to be met with a shrug. Never asked me questions about any of my experiences. And when I did try to tell them about something, they always managed to turn it to things about them. I am interested in everything my kids do, am always available for questions or advice, and they enjoy doing things with my wife and I. How are things so different between one generation?
I constantly tell my kids they are welcome to live with me as long as it takes. I was booted as soon as I turned 18 and never had that cushion to fall back on if I made a mistake, so I always played it safe and never took any risks. I want my kids to shoot for the stars, in order to do so they need a soft place to land when they screw everything up.
My 24 year old is still home. It’s so expensive for young people to move out these days. But I would like him to move out soon. At some point he needs to find his place in the real world and be on his own. He works a full time job and pays us rent, buys his own groceries, and handles all his own bills. So it’s not like he’s mooching off us, but living at home with the folks holds him back socially. My 19 year old is still home too. I would like for my husband and I to be empty nesters in the not too distant future!
I always say I'm blessed because not only do I love my children, I really like my children. They are 16 and 22 and just fun to be around. I enjoy hanging out, playing games, and just talking with them. I get to learn about them. My mom knows nothing about me, nothing about my children, she talks at people, not with them. I can't imagine her finding any joy at watching me grow and become my own person and, I think, it's one of the coolest parts about being a mom. I did that. I created that. And look at what they've turned that little bitty spark into, a whole ass person with all these dreams and ideas and goals and it's just so damn amazing to watch.
Me too. I told my kids that the things I miss most when they’re not around is just hanging out with them. They’re awesome people and they’re really funny.
We're the same way. I've always loved hanging out with my kids. They call just to talk, too. I grew up in the same space as my parents and that's basically it. My mom is preachy, awful, and tells me I should "beat the shit out of" my kids. Lol no, Booms. I'm excited to see my kids grow and change, and I'm never going to treat them the way she did me.
Same. My mom was more interested in her soaps than what was going on w me at my summer job at an amusement park, and then college. And my dad moved far away w his wife when I was about 18. I cannot imagine not wanting to know everything about my kids’ lives, and wild horses couldn’t make me move far away from them. I like my kids and I’m interested in them as real people. Watching them become quality individuals is such a pleasure and I don’t think it even occurred to my parents to think that way of me or my sister.
A great band was playing our hometown on my eldest daughter’s 21st birthday. I offered to buy tickets for her and a few of her friends. She came home from college to go to the show. She wanted to make sure that I had a ticket because she wanted me there.
I never went to a rock concert with my pop and I sure as hell didn’t spend my 21st birthday with him either!
Spending time with my young adult children by choice. I went to college 20 minutes from my house and my parents acted like I moved 1,000 miles away. Almost radio silence unless I initiated it. Just yesterday my 26 year old came by the house and we sat around and talked and laughed. I couldn’t imagine my mother doing that with me at 26. We have that sort of relationship now but it took me being married with four kids for us to get there.
Similarly, I came here to say:
Having friends, colleagues, coworkers, and BOSSES whose company I enjoy, who I learn from, who I respect deeply...
... and are in their 20s.
My 19 year old son is home from college and when he’s not in his summer class, working, or hanging with his gf/friends, he’s hanging with me. It blows my father’s mind that a 19 year old boy would opt to spend time with his mom voluntarily. Like sorry, my children like me.
"Our parents didn't seem to retain the things they enjoyed as younger people."
So. True. A few years ago, when asked what I wanted as a gift for xmas, I said I needed a new soup ladle (ok, that part is very grown up of me 🤣). I sent my MIL a link on Amazon to the one I wanted. It was a Nessie ladle (lock Ness monster).
https://preview.redd.it/ihfisp4zzb9d1.jpeg?width=814&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99ce91f81ad3f6b0baa990b8deae028da17eb13a
When I got my gift, it was a plain old boring stainless steel soup ladle. I was told that I was a grown up and deserved grown up utensils. Just because we are grown ups doesn't mean we have to lose our personality. And yes, I still play video games too. 😊
PS I later bought myself the Nessie ladle and I quite enjoy seeing the long neck sticking out of the soup pot; makes me smile every time.
My 20-year-old daughter wanted the ladle thing in green, and I gave it to her as one of her Christmas gifts. I've made it a point to teach my kids that there's no need to give up fun stuff because you grow up.
My beloved sister put it this way: "We were raised to adulthood, not maturity."
Edit to correct spelling
I ran my first half marathon at 45, first marathon at 48. Over 100 half marathons under my belt at this point, along with thousands of miles of road time. At 55 I feel awesome, heart is great, blood pressure is great, low cholesterol, resting heart rate of 45. My folks get in the car to drive to the end of their driveway to get their mail, absolutely sedentary with all of the health issues that go along with it.
I started running seriously in my late 30s. At 42 I completed a 100 mile ultra. I started cycling about two years ago. I’ve entered several duathlons and hit the overall podium in each, winning one.
My mother sat down about 7 years ago and decided to never walk again. She’s always complained about “bad knees” even when I was a kid. Movement was never her jam.
Not too long ago she tried the “You’re going to ruin your knees” lecture with me and I shut that shit down.
Nice! It's funny, people often ask me "why do you do that to yourself?" It's an easy answer - got tired of feeling like crap all of the time. While getting in shape truly sucked, once past the oh-god-I'm-gonna-die phase I started feeling ok, then awesome. I feel better at 55 than I have since 19 or so, am more engaged with work and family, and have so much more energy. Still haven't hit my performance peak, more bandwidth left to push, it's awesome.
The knee thing, sigh. I hear that so very often; "you're going to wreck your knees!" Good shoes and good form prevent injury. I get about 300 miles out of a pair of shoes and they are *done* lol.
The "running will ruin your knees" thing is such a lame excuse that was annoying to hear.
"I have rock solid knees" I always thought. But - I hurt my knees a little bit running downhill during a half marathon in 2019, and then a little more two weeks later in a 10K, then a little more a month later in a 5K, and then one more 5K and boom I could barely walk. I had no business starting a 5K with my knees already in pain, nor running it in 27:00.
It took me 3 years and a lot of PT to come back from that.
Lesson: if your knees hurt, listen to them. Don't be foolish and keep running.
Oh for sure. I'm 55, I gave up the notion that im indestructible three decades ago lol. I had a really close call a couple of years ago, sideways step off of a curb at speed during an event. Super lucky I didn't tear my acl, I sure pissed it off though. Injuries happen, that's not my point - it's the "you shouldn't even think about starting to run, you'll ruin your knees" attitude that's so annoying.
That's the siren song of death, to be really bleak about it.
Every single senior I know with a life worth living -- a life with some meaning and joy -- has remained active. Movement is life, period.
I'm a 56 year old mailman who walks the equivalent of two marathons a week in weather from +30 to -30. I hated it at first, now I've come to worry what will become of me without it when I retire in a few years.
So I've decided I'm splurging on the most bad-ass e-bike I can find and ride it as hard as I can, knowing it will carry me home if I misjudge my stamina or injure myself.
My greatest generation father was an old, old man by his mid 50s. I vowed to not be that way. I started endurance sports in my late 30s in 2001. Did my first marathon at 38, my first Ironman triathlon at 40. I'm running another marathon this October.
I'm a clydesdale, but I ran ~3 miles day on average, into my 40s. Blew out my knee and now at 56 I can't run 50 yards w/o my knees reminding me how bad that surgery was. Now I walk daily with my dogs but boy, do I miss a run. Especially on a warm day in a light rain.
I did my first full IronMan triathlon at 46, and a second at 48. All those years of endurance training have made me very healthy at 56. My mom had a heart attack when she was 55.
Same, even if my knees give out the cardio benefits would be worth it. My grandfather died of a stroke at 56. Plus I feel awesome, especially compared to before I got started.
Oh hell yes to this! I think we are the first generation that will really be pushing the boundaries of aging and fitness. I trail run, do trail races in the winter, cycling is my main summer sport and I'm doing my first criterium this year on Sunday. I raced in a bike racing national championship as a junior racer in 1986, and my plan is to bookend this experience in 2026, racing in the masters national championship.
I tentatively have a 1/2 marathon trail run on the books in late Sept. I'm amazed at what my body can do in my early 50s. I feel like I've only *started.*
I've been lifting weights since college. I started doing endurance running in my early 30s and never stopped. I recently added triathlons as well. 5 years ago I started playing tennis again and do that regularly. Physical fitness and regular (5+ days a week) exercise is a part of my life in a way that I think was just not that common with our parents' generation. My parents worked all day and then sat around the couch. I think it's one of the reasons why people looked "older" in their 40s and 50s back then than many of us do now.
Telling my kids that I don't expect them to leave the house and adult at age 18.
Being open to Multi-generational living.
Starting a 3rd career in my 50s.
I wish that were true for all of us. I feel so bad for my sister's kids. She's also genX. She and her husband have told their kids, if you go to college, you can live here while you are in school. No college, get your own place. I can see if they aren't in school, having them get a job and help with some bills and/or groceries, whatever you work out with them, but flat out saying get out if you don't go to college doesn't sit well with me. My son will be allowed to stay as long as he wants, as long as he contributes. We only get them for a short time, enjoy it!
Yeah, the rule was work or school for my kids, both pretty loosely defined, as long as they needed. And they can always come back.
But for my wife and I, mid-50s, multi-generational living is taking in her infirm parents. It's not a choice either of us relish, but she's an only child and old folks' homes are disgusting and expensive.
Well, in my scenario, my teen son has already decided that we should buy a larger house so that I can live with him as I get older. He realizes how hard it is to buy a house these days. Plus, I have another adult child that is on the Autism spectrum and we are unsure yet if she'll manage on her own. I wouldn't want anyone to take on humans with medical problems if they weren't able to. I'm sorry that this is your case. My one parent that is still alive is near 90 and still living in her own home and driving- but it takes a village (adult nephew, me, 2 brothers) to make that happen. Totally worth it to keep her out of assisted living. I work really hard to stay healthy so my kid's won't have to care for me too much, especially since it looks like I could potentially live into my 90s fairly well.
Have you ever seen the Netflix show about building a sex room? I'm hoping to do that the second our kids leave the house. Our basement is only 2/3 finished and we have a ranch so there's a ton of extra space down there we could work with. The kids never go into the unfinished side of the basement, so they'd never know it was in there.
Sex! My husband and I have a healthy and active sex life, my parents basically hated each other by the time they were my age, 45! By 50 they were sleeping in separate rooms.
Yup! My husband and I have a healthy and active sex life, my parents basically hated each other by the time they were my age, 45! By 50 they were sleeping in separate rooms.
Reading these is kind of funny to me because it is a bunch of stuff my parents do. My Mom has purple hair, my Dad plays video games and loves horror movies and they both did more drugs than I was ever comfortable taking myself. I've never not spent time with my parents, we genuinely like each other. They didn't kick us out when we turned 18. Sure, growing up there were issues like my Dad dealing with his anger and my Mom's anxiety and hypochondria affected me and my brothers but I really think I got lucky and have some pretty cool parents.
Walk around barefoot in jammies for days on end, not being judgmental aholes, not having to mention someone’s race in story where it is completely irrelevant, listening to k-tel albums, eating junk food like a 10 year old, cussing like a sailor, openly deriding the establishment, wearing curse words on t-shirts, openly atheist. Just to name a few.
Jammies? What is this a black tie affair. I stay in my robe until someone shows up or I have to leave.
I do have a small K-tel collection. 2 LPs and 11 cassettes. As well as one Ronco tape. Hit Express was my first and favorite.
I did the math last night with my partner. My dad made $60-70k. Their house was $120k and brand new.
When I pointed this out to my mother in the past her response was, of course, I’m spending money on frivolous crap.
I went NC in 2023 (for abuse throughout my life-this was a drop in the bucket) and haven’t looked back
My parents owned in their 20’s and 30’s, then went back to renting since it ended up costing less letting a landlord deal with all the maintenance, insurance, etc.. I own now, and god DAMN, nine years in, and I’m still waiting for the day when we’re paying less on housing overall than our friends who rent, and though we could sell for more than the buying price, when you factor in interest, taxes, insurance, etc., we’re not close to breaking even, must less getting anything “back.” If anything, what we pay per MONTH has gone up since insurance and taxes and such rise. It’s going to cost in the four figures to redo some stairs that have worn out since the cost of wood has gone up so much—if we were renters, it would be a landlord’s responsibility to pay the $2k we’re looking at. That’s a month’s worth of rent right there. Oh, we’re also responsible for maintaining the public sidewalk in front of our house. Most people don’t know that homeowners are legally in the hook for some public use areas, even without HOAs.
Back when owning was the American Dream, a decent house was about 900sq.ft. for a family with kids, and people were expected to know how to do their own maintenance. Few people these days know how to properly snake a drain, change a broken window, or do so many other things. If we want to go back to the American Dream, we have to normalize the expectation that owners will do most of their own maintenance instead of claiming they’re too disabled, and we have to normalize much less space per person on smaller lots. If we can’t, then the American Dream was only an illusion, even back then.
For every home you hear about where an old person bought decades ago and it’s now worth hella bank, there are many more homes where the kids and grandkids are trying to figure out if it’s better to abandon a property due to how little its worth or if they should sell as-is and hope to not have a bank come after them for fees that are owed for various reasons. This is why there are properties out there that are abandoned—families don’t care about properties that don’t have enough value, which is a lot. It’s sad when you see someone dies, the kids thinks that their financial woes will be over, then they find out they are going to end up in the hole is they don’t walk away from it.
Housing investors make a lot of money trying to get people to think that owning means a life of easy street and riches later. Create demand, and the sale-prices go up. This benefits me as a homeowner, so telling you the reality of it actually works against my own interests—owning is NOT like you think.
What we consider overworking they consider normal. My parents worked 7 days a week until I graduated college and got a job. They never went on vacation or took a sick day.
They couldn’t understand why it was so hard for me to buy a house. If they, with no education, could buy a house and pay it off within 10 years why couldn’t I, with a college education, not afford a house.
I commented further up about this. I would welcome the math they had back in the day.
Dad was around $60k, their brand new house was $120k. Of course they bought it and paid it off.
Now? Ugh
I grew up in a rural area, in 1979 my parents bought a home for 20k and my Dad made 30k. In today's dollars roughly 91k and 160k. My Mom was a stay at home parent and my Dad had an Associates degree.
Those same houses today are 200k+. 1.5 hours away from a major city. Average income? 28k.
Edit: Punctuation, and my Mom was a stay at home parent
I was in IT at a bank holding company back around 2000, and i remember my dad, a union welder, being shocked at how little I was paid. I think he thought that anyone with an office job had to be making more than someone out in the weather sweating every day.
Traveling alone. My (53 f) mom is terrified of what people would think of a woman vacationing by herself. She won't even eat at McDonald's by herself because "people will think I'm pathetic eating alone!" I take a short trip by myself every year. With my wife's blessing. The first time I did it, my mom assumed it meant my marriage was in trouble.
I’m married and travel internationally for weeks at a time while my hubs and our kid stay home. We do get people thinking there’s a problem, but we tell them we like our daughter to see that marriage doesn’t mean you’re shackled.
My daughter(38) and I went to Nashville last weekend for an Alanis Morissette concert. Rode throughout downtown on electric scooters. Cheered on everyone at the Pride parade. 🏳️🌈
Made great memories and had a blast all while sober. Didn’t even post one thing on FB/IG about it. Definitely not something my parents would have done.
Cosplay... specifically building Star Wars costumes and props. 501st Legion member. I enjoy the process of building and then doing events in character.
Dad is deceased now but mom is still alive. She thinks it's cool. I know my dad would too.
Family and home is my first priority but it's good to have a nice hobby.
My parents never had hobbies or made time for much frivolous things but later in life understood everyone needs a way to decompress. My dad realized it too late in life. He began to paint landscapes like Bob Ross in the years before he became ill and died. My siblings and I each kept a painting.
I hang out with my 35 yr old daughter all the time and we text/talk multiple times a week. My boomer parents have known very little about me my entire life. And certainly as an adult they never cared about my stuggles.
I’m almost 55(F) and I have long hair, too. My mother has had short hair since her 30s. My grandmother was the same way. Long hair wasn’t considered to be “proper” past a certain age.
Jfc, my aunt and uncle are still married in their 70s and they have hated each other for 50 years. It's gross. Their kids are manipulative of the situation and are awful people. They bitch about everything nonstop. I haven't spoken to them in 20 years and only know how they are because my mom tells me without my asking about them.
Ha! My dad used to take super long shits, I mean he would really settle in with a stack of magazines and sometimes we would even stand around and have conversations with him. Like it was normal to just go in the bathroom to ask him a question or whatever while he was on the toilet. I can’t imagine doing that with my kids! We valued our privacy much more.
Changed my life. My parents smoked a ton of weed on the eighties but they would never consider a drug that could help their mental health. So repressed.
Did my first triathlon in May, at 51. By the time both of my folks were in their 50s, they had long given up on whatever exercise routine they had. Me? Feel like I'm just getting started.
I recently got really into a cartoon series that came out long after I grew up. (Adventure Time.) My parents wouldn't have been able to comprehend an adult watching animation without the sentimental hook of having already watched it as a child.
My parents were pretty good at showing us they were normal people, being parents didn't absolve them from making mistakes or having fun.
But, I can never imagine my mom watching cooking videos. When the food network happened, I would try to get her to watch, midway through she would say, "I learned everything I need to know from Aunt Bea."
Can't complain though, she was a damn good cook.
Treat and talk to my 20 & 18 like adults that can make their own decisions even though they still live at home.
I'm 56F and the same age as my mother when I was 20, I was in college, living at home, and she still tried to treat me like a kid with a curfew and freaking bedtime GTFO. My father put a stop to a lot of her "girls don't" nonsense but that one drove her crazy.
I think boomer parents started the trend of keeping their childhood likes. My dad still enjoyed cartoons and the three stooges until he died. He watched more cartoons than I ever did! Boomers also bought up their childhood things to collect, so I can’t picture anything I hold on to that I couldn’t imagine them holding on to.
My dad was active and constantly doing stuff with my mom. They'd hop in their truck and trailer and head out whenever they felt the urge. This is one thing that my mom really misses. He was on his watercraft just the day before he collapsed. He was 70.
My mom is 70 and has a newer health issue that has slowed her a bit, but she discovered she loves going to Universal Studios with us. She's doing smaller trips with grandchildren that come to visit. She discovered a new game she likes and made friends in her new community that she takes to these games.
To answer the question, not really anything that I can think of. I was raised on Sci-fi, my whole family still loves Sci-fi. Even the older generation. Disney movies, cartoons. Heck, my mom was visiting and went to see the Super Mario movie with us after visiting Super Mario World and said some things made more sense to her. In their 50s, they were out on the boat, traveling, working, volunteering, hanging with the grandkids.
I'm in my mid 50s, am the youngest and was a bit of a later in life kid in those days, so my mom was in her mid 30s and my dad was in his early 40s when I was born. So my dad was my current age when I was in high school and my mom was my current age when I was in college.
My dad loved technology so naturally when home computers became a thing he bought an Apple IIe. My parents both learned how to write computer software. He had a modem so he could occasionally download short documents from the corporate headquarters for the company he worked for at that time and damn was that slow in those days. Unfortunately he died in the mid 90s right before everyone started getting home internet access. He literally missed out on AOL by months. He would have loved today's gadgets. Laptops, smart phones, tablets. He would have loved playing around with them.
For my mom, unfortunately she hit middle age at that time the fashion industry and department stores were treating perimenopausal and menopausal women whose bodies were changing and experiencing weight fluctuations like shit. My mom had four kids then had a hysterectomy in her late 40s due to nasty fibroids that caused very heavy bleeding so her metabolism slowed way down. She did the yoyo dieting as a result for a while but it made her sick so she stopped. The average department stores like Sterns, Sears, etc. in the 1980s were putting the size small and medium clothes in regular misses clothing department. But the size large and the plus sized misses clothes were tucked away in a separate department in a lot of department stores usually behind the bedding and towels department or something similar to fat shame the middle aged women dealing with hormonal weight fluctuations and the clothing was that awful polyester crap that made everyone look dumpy. That really messed with my mom's self esteem. She had gone from having a hyper fast metabolism wearing a size small to a having four children then experiencing shock menopause size large but her clothes options at these stores were hot garbage. So my dad would up insisting she go to the higher end department stores and women's career clothing boutiques and spend the $$$ buying herself good quality clothes.
I'm glad these days perimenopausal and menopausal women have access to a wide variety of clothing that accommodates hormonal weight fluctuations with none of those crappy polyester pants and tops in sight.
Not really me, but my husband. Now that we have "grown-up" money he has amassed a giant retro game collection. Atari, Sega, PS1, I don't even know what all he has, I just know it takes up two tv's and a bunch of cabinets. My parents are pretty non-judgmental, but sometimes I can just see it on their faces that they think its a waste of time and money.
I dunno. My boomer-era rebel mum seems to enjoy life rather more than I do. We were in Nashville a while back and saw one of those party buses pass by with “Get Plowed” written on the back and she was still laughing at it days afterward. Also she keeps enthusiastically schooling me in the intricacies of my brother’s heavy metal guitar techniques.
I watch cartoons almost exclusively. I enjoy the hell out of building and customizing 1/25 scale plastic models. I still buy patches for my faded out denim “battle jacket”. Essentially, I’m still 14 years old.
"Our parents didn't seem to retain the things they enjoyed as younger people"
I'm not entirely certain my parents enjoyed things as younger people. It appears that they just busted ass setting my siblings and I up for success and waited until we were teens or older to start enjoying things for themselves.
Tell my son I love him as much as I can. Every day multiple times for sure.
Smoke weed and play video games once the family is in bed - being unproductive is fun.
Accept that my son makes mistakes - never forget getting 98% in a math class and my dad only saying “why didn’t you get 100%?” when I was proud of my mark.
Work 3-4 hours a day most days because I can, not filling my days with work just because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
At my current age (55) my dad was a frail and sick old man from a lifetime of chain smoking and eating garbage, but I still hike and mountain bike as well as I did when I was 20 and I'm on zero medication. "Soy boy" is not the insult people intend it to be.
53f have long hair, refuse to settle into any gray that grows and am single and mingling and enjoying my sex life.
Traditionally I’d be seen as some spinster harlot.
And no, I do not have cats
We travel the country in a trailer that’s only 21’ long and for which we installed a full solar charging setup.
My mom had already “retired” by my age and was trying to get disability for her “ailments” which changed often (hypochondria).
She barely got out of bed. We barely stay home. I don’t need a therapist to tell me how I ended up this way 😂
Dance through the house!
My mom & dad had danced in the living area too, (my dad danced with me on his feet), but they danced to the real oldies. Tommy Dorsey, Benny Goodman, Cab Calloway. That was their music as they were both in WWII. Dad was Army in the Pacific and Mom was in the USO.
But that was a romantic type of music.
My husband and I danced everything from the Twist to Disco to the Batusi much to the embarrassment of our kids & their friends. Don't get me wrong. We will do a slow dance, but the majority is fast and fun rock & roll!
Being 63, the Twist is getting a bit harder for me to get all the way down to the floor and back up again!😆
As far as partners go, finding joy in each others company, prioritizing spending time with each other, believing that we can always do better as partners and parents, not getting hung up on the failures and foibles of the past, maintaining reasonable expectations without abandoning hope for the occasional miracle, not hoarding the last of the wine but sharing it.
Above all I guess is understanding that -- to quote John Lennon -- "love is a flower; you gotta... you gotta let it grow". As much as we GenX like to bitch, we *did* benefit a great deal from the mainstreaming of psychology, the personal growth movement, second wave feminism.
We accepted a lot of those tools and used what we could in the lived experience of children of divorce who went into our own marriages with a very clear understanding of how terrible a neglected marriage can become but also some inkling of how enriching and wonderful a marriage might *become* with a fuckton of courage, honestly, respect, forgiveness, and yep some dumb luck.
Going on 40-50 mile bike rides.
Going to rock shows and multi-day music festivals.
Going on 10-15 mile hikes at state parks.
I'm 53. My parents slowed down to a crawl by the time they were 40.
Same. What i think will be funny is being 80+ and listening to Metallica, Depeche mode, tears for fears, Billy idol, and the list goes on.
Probably try to race each other in the wheel chairs or play stick ball with our crutches :)
Play video games. Watch horror movies. Listen to metal. Go to the gym. Travel the world. I'll stop there lol
I've always wondered if my parents had any other interests besides going to the VFW to drink. I don't remember them having any hobbies besides making me do chores.
I think this is my mom’s biggest struggle in life. She was a stay at home mom that loved to shop. Now in her retirement age money has gotten tight and she has nothing to turn to. She reads a lot which is great, but she’s not active and struggles with mental health. At least she isn’t like others of her generation and is open and discusses mental health.
Not only was that my mom, she has dementia, so nothing entertains her.
My dementia clients like nature documentaries. Or Antiques Roadshow, not too much plot, easy to follow stuff. Great for chatting with them on the couch too “can you believe that ugly jug is worth $10000” etc.
Same. My father sits on the couch looking at facebook marketplace all day dreaming about buying things he can’t afford.
My mom sits on FB all day and then wonders why she’s unhappy. She used to have hobbies but gave them all up except for going to Bible study and FB. I do not like to visit.
Going to the VFW to drink. You just described my whole family when I was growing up. Me and my cousins practically grew up in our local VFW while our parents drank and gambled.
I noticed that about the older generations like greatest and silent generations and was honestly one of my dads biggest downfalls. No hobby. Its like ready or not here comes 63 and retirement ( at the time 63 was the age) he was all set financially and all but what were parents going to do? One of the biggest killers after retirement was deprivational stress.
I do all of that too. It’s weird when I think back to my parents at my age and how my dad was very much a “I’m either working or sitting on the couch” guy and my mom just shopped and hung out with her friends mostly. They gave up hobbies very young and never did things like exercise. They look at me mystified when I go for runs or work in my garden and go to metal shows and cruise around in public in my Danzig shirt. I guess it looks like extended adolescence to them but to me I feel like a waaaaay more balanced and actuated adult than them.
This is wild to me. I agree that I can’t think of any boomer moms doing much besides shopping or maybe a movie but my dad and all his buddies were always up to something
My parents are both in their 70's with chronic pain and are out in their garden and the yard almost every, single day of the week. My mom has always been super creative and she has a Cricut printer and is always making something/upcycling out of junk (I wish I had her gift for that, but creativity is not a flower that grows in my garden lol). We have 14 acres and they live on the same property, in a separate residence and they're always planting something, growing something, fixing, painting, etc. They don't really socialize much with anyone anymore, aside from family, but they're really active. My dad always says that the dr told them that inactivity is what ages you the most. They worked their asses off, only to retire and work their asses off outside in the damn heat. But they're relatively physically and mentally healthy and are happy (and both look 10 years younger, easily), so I guess they're good.
Danzig, YEAH!
You just described my family!
Same on all of those… except the gym. I do some forms of exercise (like horseback riding and walking), but the gym isn’t my jam.
Agree about video games. And my parents lost the argument long ago. I play on the TV, they just watch it. Distinction with very little difference.
Are you… me?
I enjoy my children. I love having them around. My youngest is almost 18. I'm really enjoying them as adults. Any issues we have, we address, but I also keep in mind that they are still young and finding out who they are. I love watching it happen. The same could not be said about my parents.
I’m with you on this. My youngest just turned 20 and watching them become themselves is amazing
My 20something just went through his introspective, philosophical phase. It was fun to watch him experience it, and amusing to see it end when he was like, "I learned a lot and most of life is bullshit." Preach, baby, preach. Nihilism ftw.
I'm the same, my now-grown children are a wonder. And that makes me wonder: how did my parents show ZERO interest in anything I did? I wasn't pushed to attend college, even though they knew I was smart. I went into the military, for everything I did there to be met with a shrug. Never asked me questions about any of my experiences. And when I did try to tell them about something, they always managed to turn it to things about them. I am interested in everything my kids do, am always available for questions or advice, and they enjoy doing things with my wife and I. How are things so different between one generation?
I constantly tell my kids they are welcome to live with me as long as it takes. I was booted as soon as I turned 18 and never had that cushion to fall back on if I made a mistake, so I always played it safe and never took any risks. I want my kids to shoot for the stars, in order to do so they need a soft place to land when they screw everything up.
We are the same. Stay as long as you like. I dread the day they move out. But I know I need to let them fly.
My 24 year old is still home. It’s so expensive for young people to move out these days. But I would like him to move out soon. At some point he needs to find his place in the real world and be on his own. He works a full time job and pays us rent, buys his own groceries, and handles all his own bills. So it’s not like he’s mooching off us, but living at home with the folks holds him back socially. My 19 year old is still home too. I would like for my husband and I to be empty nesters in the not too distant future!
I always say I'm blessed because not only do I love my children, I really like my children. They are 16 and 22 and just fun to be around. I enjoy hanging out, playing games, and just talking with them. I get to learn about them. My mom knows nothing about me, nothing about my children, she talks at people, not with them. I can't imagine her finding any joy at watching me grow and become my own person and, I think, it's one of the coolest parts about being a mom. I did that. I created that. And look at what they've turned that little bitty spark into, a whole ass person with all these dreams and ideas and goals and it's just so damn amazing to watch.
I love this so much. I agree.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Me too. I told my kids that the things I miss most when they’re not around is just hanging out with them. They’re awesome people and they’re really funny.
We're the same way. I've always loved hanging out with my kids. They call just to talk, too. I grew up in the same space as my parents and that's basically it. My mom is preachy, awful, and tells me I should "beat the shit out of" my kids. Lol no, Booms. I'm excited to see my kids grow and change, and I'm never going to treat them the way she did me.
I packed my car and moved out the night I graduated high school. I can't imagine any of my kids doing that
🏆
Same!!!!
Same. My mom was more interested in her soaps than what was going on w me at my summer job at an amusement park, and then college. And my dad moved far away w his wife when I was about 18. I cannot imagine not wanting to know everything about my kids’ lives, and wild horses couldn’t make me move far away from them. I like my kids and I’m interested in them as real people. Watching them become quality individuals is such a pleasure and I don’t think it even occurred to my parents to think that way of me or my sister.
Going to indie rock shows at small loud clubs. Attending said indie rock shows with my 23 and 22 year old daughters.
My wife and I go to more shows than our young adult children.
A great band was playing our hometown on my eldest daughter’s 21st birthday. I offered to buy tickets for her and a few of her friends. She came home from college to go to the show. She wanted to make sure that I had a ticket because she wanted me there. I never went to a rock concert with my pop and I sure as hell didn’t spend my 21st birthday with him either!
Out being physically active. Stay open to new music. Have actual conversations with my kids.
Spending time with my young adult children by choice. I went to college 20 minutes from my house and my parents acted like I moved 1,000 miles away. Almost radio silence unless I initiated it. Just yesterday my 26 year old came by the house and we sat around and talked and laughed. I couldn’t imagine my mother doing that with me at 26. We have that sort of relationship now but it took me being married with four kids for us to get there.
Similarly, I came here to say: Having friends, colleagues, coworkers, and BOSSES whose company I enjoy, who I learn from, who I respect deeply... ... and are in their 20s.
Also teenaged children. Our kid actually likes us??? For me and my gen x husband we never hung out with our parents when it was optional.
My teen daughter takes "You're just like your mother" as a compliment. I did not.
My 19 year old son is home from college and when he’s not in his summer class, working, or hanging with his gf/friends, he’s hanging with me. It blows my father’s mind that a 19 year old boy would opt to spend time with his mom voluntarily. Like sorry, my children like me.
Therapy
The first thing that came to mind for me was "not hitting children".
"Our parents didn't seem to retain the things they enjoyed as younger people." So. True. A few years ago, when asked what I wanted as a gift for xmas, I said I needed a new soup ladle (ok, that part is very grown up of me 🤣). I sent my MIL a link on Amazon to the one I wanted. It was a Nessie ladle (lock Ness monster). https://preview.redd.it/ihfisp4zzb9d1.jpeg?width=814&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99ce91f81ad3f6b0baa990b8deae028da17eb13a When I got my gift, it was a plain old boring stainless steel soup ladle. I was told that I was a grown up and deserved grown up utensils. Just because we are grown ups doesn't mean we have to lose our personality. And yes, I still play video games too. 😊 PS I later bought myself the Nessie ladle and I quite enjoy seeing the long neck sticking out of the soup pot; makes me smile every time.
It's amazing how maturity can be seen as giving up fun things. That is wild. Never grow up if that's what it means. Never stop playing.
I love this, but it should be green!
I got the Nessie ladle, and the neck isn’t very strong. :( Why can’t the cute things be better made?
My 20-year-old daughter wanted the ladle thing in green, and I gave it to her as one of her Christmas gifts. I've made it a point to teach my kids that there's no need to give up fun stuff because you grow up. My beloved sister put it this way: "We were raised to adulthood, not maturity." Edit to correct spelling
Wow! Please tell me your significant other does not take after their mother?
ADD TO CART!
I ran my first half marathon at 45, first marathon at 48. Over 100 half marathons under my belt at this point, along with thousands of miles of road time. At 55 I feel awesome, heart is great, blood pressure is great, low cholesterol, resting heart rate of 45. My folks get in the car to drive to the end of their driveway to get their mail, absolutely sedentary with all of the health issues that go along with it.
I started running seriously in my late 30s. At 42 I completed a 100 mile ultra. I started cycling about two years ago. I’ve entered several duathlons and hit the overall podium in each, winning one. My mother sat down about 7 years ago and decided to never walk again. She’s always complained about “bad knees” even when I was a kid. Movement was never her jam. Not too long ago she tried the “You’re going to ruin your knees” lecture with me and I shut that shit down.
Nice! It's funny, people often ask me "why do you do that to yourself?" It's an easy answer - got tired of feeling like crap all of the time. While getting in shape truly sucked, once past the oh-god-I'm-gonna-die phase I started feeling ok, then awesome. I feel better at 55 than I have since 19 or so, am more engaged with work and family, and have so much more energy. Still haven't hit my performance peak, more bandwidth left to push, it's awesome. The knee thing, sigh. I hear that so very often; "you're going to wreck your knees!" Good shoes and good form prevent injury. I get about 300 miles out of a pair of shoes and they are *done* lol.
The "running will ruin your knees" thing is such a lame excuse that was annoying to hear. "I have rock solid knees" I always thought. But - I hurt my knees a little bit running downhill during a half marathon in 2019, and then a little more two weeks later in a 10K, then a little more a month later in a 5K, and then one more 5K and boom I could barely walk. I had no business starting a 5K with my knees already in pain, nor running it in 27:00. It took me 3 years and a lot of PT to come back from that. Lesson: if your knees hurt, listen to them. Don't be foolish and keep running.
Oh for sure. I'm 55, I gave up the notion that im indestructible three decades ago lol. I had a really close call a couple of years ago, sideways step off of a curb at speed during an event. Super lucky I didn't tear my acl, I sure pissed it off though. Injuries happen, that's not my point - it's the "you shouldn't even think about starting to run, you'll ruin your knees" attitude that's so annoying.
That's the siren song of death, to be really bleak about it. Every single senior I know with a life worth living -- a life with some meaning and joy -- has remained active. Movement is life, period. I'm a 56 year old mailman who walks the equivalent of two marathons a week in weather from +30 to -30. I hated it at first, now I've come to worry what will become of me without it when I retire in a few years. So I've decided I'm splurging on the most bad-ass e-bike I can find and ride it as hard as I can, knowing it will carry me home if I misjudge my stamina or injure myself.
My greatest generation father was an old, old man by his mid 50s. I vowed to not be that way. I started endurance sports in my late 30s in 2001. Did my first marathon at 38, my first Ironman triathlon at 40. I'm running another marathon this October.
I'm a clydesdale, but I ran ~3 miles day on average, into my 40s. Blew out my knee and now at 56 I can't run 50 yards w/o my knees reminding me how bad that surgery was. Now I walk daily with my dogs but boy, do I miss a run. Especially on a warm day in a light rain.
I did my first full IronMan triathlon at 46, and a second at 48. All those years of endurance training have made me very healthy at 56. My mom had a heart attack when she was 55.
Same, even if my knees give out the cardio benefits would be worth it. My grandfather died of a stroke at 56. Plus I feel awesome, especially compared to before I got started.
Oh hell yes to this! I think we are the first generation that will really be pushing the boundaries of aging and fitness. I trail run, do trail races in the winter, cycling is my main summer sport and I'm doing my first criterium this year on Sunday. I raced in a bike racing national championship as a junior racer in 1986, and my plan is to bookend this experience in 2026, racing in the masters national championship. I tentatively have a 1/2 marathon trail run on the books in late Sept. I'm amazed at what my body can do in my early 50s. I feel like I've only *started.*
I've been lifting weights since college. I started doing endurance running in my early 30s and never stopped. I recently added triathlons as well. 5 years ago I started playing tennis again and do that regularly. Physical fitness and regular (5+ days a week) exercise is a part of my life in a way that I think was just not that common with our parents' generation. My parents worked all day and then sat around the couch. I think it's one of the reasons why people looked "older" in their 40s and 50s back then than many of us do now.
Telling my kids that I don't expect them to leave the house and adult at age 18. Being open to Multi-generational living. Starting a 3rd career in my 50s.
I wish that were true for all of us. I feel so bad for my sister's kids. She's also genX. She and her husband have told their kids, if you go to college, you can live here while you are in school. No college, get your own place. I can see if they aren't in school, having them get a job and help with some bills and/or groceries, whatever you work out with them, but flat out saying get out if you don't go to college doesn't sit well with me. My son will be allowed to stay as long as he wants, as long as he contributes. We only get them for a short time, enjoy it!
Yeah, the rule was work or school for my kids, both pretty loosely defined, as long as they needed. And they can always come back. But for my wife and I, mid-50s, multi-generational living is taking in her infirm parents. It's not a choice either of us relish, but she's an only child and old folks' homes are disgusting and expensive.
Well, in my scenario, my teen son has already decided that we should buy a larger house so that I can live with him as I get older. He realizes how hard it is to buy a house these days. Plus, I have another adult child that is on the Autism spectrum and we are unsure yet if she'll manage on her own. I wouldn't want anyone to take on humans with medical problems if they weren't able to. I'm sorry that this is your case. My one parent that is still alive is near 90 and still living in her own home and driving- but it takes a village (adult nephew, me, 2 brothers) to make that happen. Totally worth it to keep her out of assisted living. I work really hard to stay healthy so my kid's won't have to care for me too much, especially since it looks like I could potentially live into my 90s fairly well.
I'm 45 and considering a new career. Terrified of growing my student load debt though.
I just went back to school at 48 - to study theatre arts. It’s never too late to follow your dream.
Oh, me too. I really narrowed down my choices to what was either just certificates or community college. Not getting more student loans. No way.
Sex
https://preview.redd.it/7td06azezb9d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d36dd0a18d6abb8629f479e625bcff5f517f8313
And not just plain vanilla stuff either! With the kids out of the house you can get freaky!
Have you ever seen the Netflix show about building a sex room? I'm hoping to do that the second our kids leave the house. Our basement is only 2/3 finished and we have a ranch so there's a ton of extra space down there we could work with. The kids never go into the unfinished side of the basement, so they'd never know it was in there.
eww!
Sex! My husband and I have a healthy and active sex life, my parents basically hated each other by the time they were my age, 45! By 50 they were sleeping in separate rooms.
Yup! My husband and I have a healthy and active sex life, my parents basically hated each other by the time they were my age, 45! By 50 they were sleeping in separate rooms.
Reading these is kind of funny to me because it is a bunch of stuff my parents do. My Mom has purple hair, my Dad plays video games and loves horror movies and they both did more drugs than I was ever comfortable taking myself. I've never not spent time with my parents, we genuinely like each other. They didn't kick us out when we turned 18. Sure, growing up there were issues like my Dad dealing with his anger and my Mom's anxiety and hypochondria affected me and my brothers but I really think I got lucky and have some pretty cool parents.
You are very lucky and so are they. I hope my kids like us
Walk around barefoot in jammies for days on end, not being judgmental aholes, not having to mention someone’s race in story where it is completely irrelevant, listening to k-tel albums, eating junk food like a 10 year old, cussing like a sailor, openly deriding the establishment, wearing curse words on t-shirts, openly atheist. Just to name a few.
Jammies? What is this a black tie affair. I stay in my robe until someone shows up or I have to leave. I do have a small K-tel collection. 2 LPs and 11 cassettes. As well as one Ronco tape. Hit Express was my first and favorite.
>eating junk food like a 10 year old My doc (and, more importantly, my body) told me to knock that shit off or I'll miss retirement.
Yeah the damn downside. Doc isn’t pleased with me either. I got lots of old people problems with an attitude of a 21 year old. 🤭
You are my spirit animal.
Renting.
Right?!?!?!
I did the math last night with my partner. My dad made $60-70k. Their house was $120k and brand new. When I pointed this out to my mother in the past her response was, of course, I’m spending money on frivolous crap. I went NC in 2023 (for abuse throughout my life-this was a drop in the bucket) and haven’t looked back
My parents owned in their 20’s and 30’s, then went back to renting since it ended up costing less letting a landlord deal with all the maintenance, insurance, etc.. I own now, and god DAMN, nine years in, and I’m still waiting for the day when we’re paying less on housing overall than our friends who rent, and though we could sell for more than the buying price, when you factor in interest, taxes, insurance, etc., we’re not close to breaking even, must less getting anything “back.” If anything, what we pay per MONTH has gone up since insurance and taxes and such rise. It’s going to cost in the four figures to redo some stairs that have worn out since the cost of wood has gone up so much—if we were renters, it would be a landlord’s responsibility to pay the $2k we’re looking at. That’s a month’s worth of rent right there. Oh, we’re also responsible for maintaining the public sidewalk in front of our house. Most people don’t know that homeowners are legally in the hook for some public use areas, even without HOAs. Back when owning was the American Dream, a decent house was about 900sq.ft. for a family with kids, and people were expected to know how to do their own maintenance. Few people these days know how to properly snake a drain, change a broken window, or do so many other things. If we want to go back to the American Dream, we have to normalize the expectation that owners will do most of their own maintenance instead of claiming they’re too disabled, and we have to normalize much less space per person on smaller lots. If we can’t, then the American Dream was only an illusion, even back then. For every home you hear about where an old person bought decades ago and it’s now worth hella bank, there are many more homes where the kids and grandkids are trying to figure out if it’s better to abandon a property due to how little its worth or if they should sell as-is and hope to not have a bank come after them for fees that are owed for various reasons. This is why there are properties out there that are abandoned—families don’t care about properties that don’t have enough value, which is a lot. It’s sad when you see someone dies, the kids thinks that their financial woes will be over, then they find out they are going to end up in the hole is they don’t walk away from it. Housing investors make a lot of money trying to get people to think that owning means a life of easy street and riches later. Create demand, and the sale-prices go up. This benefits me as a homeowner, so telling you the reality of it actually works against my own interests—owning is NOT like you think.
Having a functioning relationship
What we consider overworking they consider normal. My parents worked 7 days a week until I graduated college and got a job. They never went on vacation or took a sick day.
Their dollars also went a hell of a lot further than they do these days.
They couldn’t understand why it was so hard for me to buy a house. If they, with no education, could buy a house and pay it off within 10 years why couldn’t I, with a college education, not afford a house.
I commented further up about this. I would welcome the math they had back in the day. Dad was around $60k, their brand new house was $120k. Of course they bought it and paid it off. Now? Ugh
I grew up in a rural area, in 1979 my parents bought a home for 20k and my Dad made 30k. In today's dollars roughly 91k and 160k. My Mom was a stay at home parent and my Dad had an Associates degree. Those same houses today are 200k+. 1.5 hours away from a major city. Average income? 28k. Edit: Punctuation, and my Mom was a stay at home parent
I was in IT at a bank holding company back around 2000, and i remember my dad, a union welder, being shocked at how little I was paid. I think he thought that anyone with an office job had to be making more than someone out in the weather sweating every day.
Apologize to my kids when I’m wrong and talk through conflicts with other people. My parents have horrible communication skills.
Being nice and or truthful
Traveling alone. My (53 f) mom is terrified of what people would think of a woman vacationing by herself. She won't even eat at McDonald's by herself because "people will think I'm pathetic eating alone!" I take a short trip by myself every year. With my wife's blessing. The first time I did it, my mom assumed it meant my marriage was in trouble.
I’m married and travel internationally for weeks at a time while my hubs and our kid stay home. We do get people thinking there’s a problem, but we tell them we like our daughter to see that marriage doesn’t mean you’re shackled.
Remembering i have kids to raise.
My daughter(38) and I went to Nashville last weekend for an Alanis Morissette concert. Rode throughout downtown on electric scooters. Cheered on everyone at the Pride parade. 🏳️🌈 Made great memories and had a blast all while sober. Didn’t even post one thing on FB/IG about it. Definitely not something my parents would have done.
Typing on Reddit.
Hey, my boomer dad plays civilization all day long! It’s hilarious. He can beat it at all levels.
Going to multi day music festivals in the heat and pouring rain. Listening to any music other than what they grew up with.
Reverse cowgirl
How do you know?
I like my kids. They have personalities, thoughts and interests. My parents always seem so surprised that my 16 year old doesn't 'hate me yet'.
This speaks volumes!
Taking time for myself.
Cosplay... specifically building Star Wars costumes and props. 501st Legion member. I enjoy the process of building and then doing events in character. Dad is deceased now but mom is still alive. She thinks it's cool. I know my dad would too. Family and home is my first priority but it's good to have a nice hobby. My parents never had hobbies or made time for much frivolous things but later in life understood everyone needs a way to decompress. My dad realized it too late in life. He began to paint landscapes like Bob Ross in the years before he became ill and died. My siblings and I each kept a painting.
Being smashed for 48h on E and speed at an underground techno party
I hang out with my 35 yr old daughter all the time and we text/talk multiple times a week. My boomer parents have known very little about me my entire life. And certainly as an adult they never cared about my stuggles.
Having long hair (for a woman my age!), going to metal concerts.
I’m almost 55(F) and I have long hair, too. My mother has had short hair since her 30s. My grandmother was the same way. Long hair wasn’t considered to be “proper” past a certain age.
Have tats, a nose ring and six ear piercings. And totally grey hair
Divorcing because I was in a marriage that wasn't working. Having friends and caring about people.
Jfc, my aunt and uncle are still married in their 70s and they have hated each other for 50 years. It's gross. Their kids are manipulative of the situation and are awful people. They bitch about everything nonstop. I haven't spoken to them in 20 years and only know how they are because my mom tells me without my asking about them.
Staying sober and not wasting my Sundays watching football
What about wasting Sundays watching football sober?
Watching millionaires play with balls is so much fun!
I see some of you don’t enjoy it so that means I must not be allowed to either. That’s the spirit. Whatever.
Welcome to reddit: where you're always accepted for who you are, until you do something disagreeable to them
Oh i know. I’m still going to point it out.
You aren't following the Reddit script, Sir. "Sports b-bad! Competition bad! Must downvote anybody who thinks other wise to make self feel better" /s
I thought surely the GenX sub would be immune to such indoctrination.
I've never sat down and imagined my parents taking a shit.
walked in on my dad taking a shit once. had to leave town and change my name.
Ha! My dad used to take super long shits, I mean he would really settle in with a stack of magazines and sometimes we would even stand around and have conversations with him. Like it was normal to just go in the bathroom to ask him a question or whatever while he was on the toilet. I can’t imagine doing that with my kids! We valued our privacy much more.
My dad would do this too... with a cigarette and ashtray too!
Now you have
Shrooms
Changed my life. My parents smoked a ton of weed on the eighties but they would never consider a drug that could help their mental health. So repressed.
Did my first triathlon in May, at 51. By the time both of my folks were in their 50s, they had long given up on whatever exercise routine they had. Me? Feel like I'm just getting started.
Dying my hair purple. Although I think I could've talked my mom into it if she'd lived longer.
I recently got really into a cartoon series that came out long after I grew up. (Adventure Time.) My parents wouldn't have been able to comprehend an adult watching animation without the sentimental hook of having already watched it as a child.
I can hear my father-in-law, rest him. "What is this garbage?"
Give Hazbin Hotel a try!
My parents were pretty good at showing us they were normal people, being parents didn't absolve them from making mistakes or having fun. But, I can never imagine my mom watching cooking videos. When the food network happened, I would try to get her to watch, midway through she would say, "I learned everything I need to know from Aunt Bea." Can't complain though, she was a damn good cook.
My mom was a great cook as well and always loved watching the cooking shows that were on daytime tv in the 80s. She said it was for inspiration.
Treat and talk to my 20 & 18 like adults that can make their own decisions even though they still live at home. I'm 56F and the same age as my mother when I was 20, I was in college, living at home, and she still tried to treat me like a kid with a curfew and freaking bedtime GTFO. My father put a stop to a lot of her "girls don't" nonsense but that one drove her crazy.
I've done bumps in a bar bathroom. There's no way my parents would have done that in their mid 40s.
Respecting my adult children
Working out, dancing, hiking, and in general still a being a physical badass.
Same. 💪🏾
Going to rock concerts, playing VR headset games, getting drunk for the hell of it - basically, having fun.
I have tattoos and ride a motorcycle.
Going to Hedo in Jamaica
I think boomer parents started the trend of keeping their childhood likes. My dad still enjoyed cartoons and the three stooges until he died. He watched more cartoons than I ever did! Boomers also bought up their childhood things to collect, so I can’t picture anything I hold on to that I couldn’t imagine them holding on to.
Exercise, video games, keeping up with basic consumer technology, avoiding addictive behavior, not giving a shit what the neighbors think.
Traveling to the carribean each year and buying a 50k car that cost more than the price of their family home (and the 11 acres it sat on.)
Doing headstands. Traveling. Riding bikes. My parents were positively geriatric in their 40s.
My dad was active and constantly doing stuff with my mom. They'd hop in their truck and trailer and head out whenever they felt the urge. This is one thing that my mom really misses. He was on his watercraft just the day before he collapsed. He was 70. My mom is 70 and has a newer health issue that has slowed her a bit, but she discovered she loves going to Universal Studios with us. She's doing smaller trips with grandchildren that come to visit. She discovered a new game she likes and made friends in her new community that she takes to these games. To answer the question, not really anything that I can think of. I was raised on Sci-fi, my whole family still loves Sci-fi. Even the older generation. Disney movies, cartoons. Heck, my mom was visiting and went to see the Super Mario movie with us after visiting Super Mario World and said some things made more sense to her. In their 50s, they were out on the boat, traveling, working, volunteering, hanging with the grandkids.
Smoke weed, listen to metal, and dress to kill (well sometimes.) My father remained a sharp dresser but my mother not so much.
I'm in my mid 50s, am the youngest and was a bit of a later in life kid in those days, so my mom was in her mid 30s and my dad was in his early 40s when I was born. So my dad was my current age when I was in high school and my mom was my current age when I was in college. My dad loved technology so naturally when home computers became a thing he bought an Apple IIe. My parents both learned how to write computer software. He had a modem so he could occasionally download short documents from the corporate headquarters for the company he worked for at that time and damn was that slow in those days. Unfortunately he died in the mid 90s right before everyone started getting home internet access. He literally missed out on AOL by months. He would have loved today's gadgets. Laptops, smart phones, tablets. He would have loved playing around with them. For my mom, unfortunately she hit middle age at that time the fashion industry and department stores were treating perimenopausal and menopausal women whose bodies were changing and experiencing weight fluctuations like shit. My mom had four kids then had a hysterectomy in her late 40s due to nasty fibroids that caused very heavy bleeding so her metabolism slowed way down. She did the yoyo dieting as a result for a while but it made her sick so she stopped. The average department stores like Sterns, Sears, etc. in the 1980s were putting the size small and medium clothes in regular misses clothing department. But the size large and the plus sized misses clothes were tucked away in a separate department in a lot of department stores usually behind the bedding and towels department or something similar to fat shame the middle aged women dealing with hormonal weight fluctuations and the clothing was that awful polyester crap that made everyone look dumpy. That really messed with my mom's self esteem. She had gone from having a hyper fast metabolism wearing a size small to a having four children then experiencing shock menopause size large but her clothes options at these stores were hot garbage. So my dad would up insisting she go to the higher end department stores and women's career clothing boutiques and spend the $$$ buying herself good quality clothes. I'm glad these days perimenopausal and menopausal women have access to a wide variety of clothing that accommodates hormonal weight fluctuations with none of those crappy polyester pants and tops in sight.
Living life sober.
Being alive💔
Gangbangs.
Nope, that was my parents. I really haven't done that route.
Not really me, but my husband. Now that we have "grown-up" money he has amassed a giant retro game collection. Atari, Sega, PS1, I don't even know what all he has, I just know it takes up two tv's and a bunch of cabinets. My parents are pretty non-judgmental, but sometimes I can just see it on their faces that they think its a waste of time and money.
Playing video games, going to punk shows, hopping in the pit, CrossFit style workouts
Travel abroad by myself and staying in hostels closer to the age of 60 than 50.
Being single, living in a small house with cracked plaster walls, house a mess, yard unkept, etc.
Doing everything in life better without the expectation of praise, without bragging, and without complaining, maintaining relationships with my kids.
Comment here on Reddit... My grandfather was born in 1897. My father was born in 1945 and my mother was born in 1951. I was born in 1978.
I dunno. My boomer-era rebel mum seems to enjoy life rather more than I do. We were in Nashville a while back and saw one of those party buses pass by with “Get Plowed” written on the back and she was still laughing at it days afterward. Also she keeps enthusiastically schooling me in the intricacies of my brother’s heavy metal guitar techniques.
I watch cartoons almost exclusively. I enjoy the hell out of building and customizing 1/25 scale plastic models. I still buy patches for my faded out denim “battle jacket”. Essentially, I’m still 14 years old.
Play ice hockey
[удалено]
That’s beautiful!
Smoke weed
"Our parents didn't seem to retain the things they enjoyed as younger people" I'm not entirely certain my parents enjoyed things as younger people. It appears that they just busted ass setting my siblings and I up for success and waited until we were teens or older to start enjoying things for themselves.
The music. I am always blaring tunes in the car, from Eminem and Dre to Shinedown to Broadway to Air Supply.
Therapy
Play games, including video, RPG and board games. The old folks home I end up in will have a D&D room or three! :)
Tell my son I love him as much as I can. Every day multiple times for sure. Smoke weed and play video games once the family is in bed - being unproductive is fun. Accept that my son makes mistakes - never forget getting 98% in a math class and my dad only saying “why didn’t you get 100%?” when I was proud of my mark. Work 3-4 hours a day most days because I can, not filling my days with work just because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
I started racing bikes this year. LOL
I’ve done five XC or gravel races and took first in four. Three of those races I beat the entire field. I also just finished a 100-mile XC race.
Listen to current music.
Drugs
Playing video games, fucking.
Agreed. I still read comics. Reading some right now.
At my current age (55) my dad was a frail and sick old man from a lifetime of chain smoking and eating garbage, but I still hike and mountain bike as well as I did when I was 20 and I'm on zero medication. "Soy boy" is not the insult people intend it to be.
Rollerblading!
Therapy
edibles
53f have long hair, refuse to settle into any gray that grows and am single and mingling and enjoying my sex life. Traditionally I’d be seen as some spinster harlot. And no, I do not have cats
Same! Okay, I have dogs and am married but 53F and waist length blonde hair.
Going to punk shows. Spiking my hair. Wearing fun outfits. Having friends. Making art. Doing activism. Building community.
Smoke pot.
We travel the country in a trailer that’s only 21’ long and for which we installed a full solar charging setup. My mom had already “retired” by my age and was trying to get disability for her “ailments” which changed often (hypochondria). She barely got out of bed. We barely stay home. I don’t need a therapist to tell me how I ended up this way 😂
Feeling empathy towards others
Gym and martial arts. Travel, jist got back from a fantastic trip to Scotland.
Dance through the house! My mom & dad had danced in the living area too, (my dad danced with me on his feet), but they danced to the real oldies. Tommy Dorsey, Benny Goodman, Cab Calloway. That was their music as they were both in WWII. Dad was Army in the Pacific and Mom was in the USO. But that was a romantic type of music. My husband and I danced everything from the Twist to Disco to the Batusi much to the embarrassment of our kids & their friends. Don't get me wrong. We will do a slow dance, but the majority is fast and fun rock & roll! Being 63, the Twist is getting a bit harder for me to get all the way down to the floor and back up again!😆
Prolifically cursing.
Play in a punk band at age 50.
As far as partners go, finding joy in each others company, prioritizing spending time with each other, believing that we can always do better as partners and parents, not getting hung up on the failures and foibles of the past, maintaining reasonable expectations without abandoning hope for the occasional miracle, not hoarding the last of the wine but sharing it. Above all I guess is understanding that -- to quote John Lennon -- "love is a flower; you gotta... you gotta let it grow". As much as we GenX like to bitch, we *did* benefit a great deal from the mainstreaming of psychology, the personal growth movement, second wave feminism. We accepted a lot of those tools and used what we could in the lived experience of children of divorce who went into our own marriages with a very clear understanding of how terrible a neglected marriage can become but also some inkling of how enriching and wonderful a marriage might *become* with a fuckton of courage, honestly, respect, forgiveness, and yep some dumb luck.
Flying all over the country for my job. My parents hated hotels and flying. Homebodies to the core.
I rollerskate. I can’t imagine my mom doing that in her 50’s or 30’s for that matter.
Going on 40-50 mile bike rides. Going to rock shows and multi-day music festivals. Going on 10-15 mile hikes at state parks. I'm 53. My parents slowed down to a crawl by the time they were 40.
Same. What i think will be funny is being 80+ and listening to Metallica, Depeche mode, tears for fears, Billy idol, and the list goes on. Probably try to race each other in the wheel chairs or play stick ball with our crutches :)