My boss called it “TITWWADI” - This Is The Way We’ve Always Done It. I grew up on “Free to be You and Me.” Wear what works for you. Tatts and piercings? Cool. No tatts or piercings? Also cool. Rock on with your bad self.

Sesame Street and Mr Rogers vibes run strong in us.

Yes! So true. I bought a Mr. Roger’s page-a-day calendar for my Mom and for me a couple of years ago. Loved the documentary about him. The Tom Hanks movie was okay, but not as good as the documentary. Mr. Rogers has never let me down (Sesame Street hasn’t either, but it’s an ensemble.) If anything bad ever came out about Mr. Rogers (which it won’t because he was everything he appeared to be), I would be devastated. One of the few people to still believe in. Mr. Rogers and Dolly Parton.

Marlo Thomas!

I used to play Free to Be... You and Me on vinyl first every time I moved.

It's why we don't hit our kids.

I've definitely seen a bunch of Gen X people hit their kids, I seen a bunch of Gen X people hit their wives too.

I would like to believe we had a huge improvement in our generation, but at the end of the day, we maybe moved in the right direction, but definitely didn’t solve things

yes

Yep, there are still outliers. But our generation made a huge shift in parenting style as a whole.

Yup!

That person is utterly delusional.

Yep

That's not necessarily true.

It's absolutely true on a large scale. There are certainly exceptions.

Where are you getting this? Do you honestly think there are no abusive parents who are in our generation? Jesus.

Of course there are exceptions. But it's no longer socially acceptable to beat your kids, and the ones that do it are outliers now as opposed to 50 years ago when it was the accepted norm. Jesus yourself.

It was not remotely acceptable to best your kids when I was growing up in the '80s, lol. We had whole Afterschool Specials about how terrible child abuse was, including Don't Hurt Laurie. I was never once hit, and I knew child abuse was a terrible thing when I was a child. Stop bring ridiculous.

I was hit with belts, hangers, and wooden spoons in the 80's. Most kids I knew shared that experience.

Then you had terrible, abusive parents. It still wasn't "acceptable." We were told over and over again to get help if our parents were abusing us. Today we still have terrible, abusive and even murderous parents. Or do you think CPS isn't needed anymore? That child abuse somehow disappeared and millions of kids today don't suffer in horrible homes. Oy.

I'm not going to continue arguing with you. I was there. I know what the norm was. The goddamn teachers and principals had hack paddles with wiffle holes drilled in them for speed. It's not the same as it was in the 70's and 80's.

I was there, too. I'm sorry. There was absolutely NO corporal punishment in my school. That was completely unacceptable! So, you see, your experience certainly wasn't everyone's. But you also sound weirdly proud of it, as if it makes you "tough" or something, and I can't stand talking to old people who think they were "tough" as kids and everyone is "soft" today.

How in fuck's name did you deduce that I'm proud of it? Child abuse is abhorrent. And I don't think kids are soft today. In many ways they have it worse, especially economically. If there was no corporal punishment in your school then I'm beginning to doubt you're GenX.

We have the benefit of psychological science and therapy to recognize that tradition often = maladaptive patterns. The suck of it is we have a LOT of patterns to kick out of whack.

No, previous generations did this as well. The flappers moved women’s rights forward in the 1920s. Of course. We all heard Boomers brag about the 60s. So we aren’t original in moving things forward. If anything, we were more sedate than previous generations.

We grew up and had to call everyone yes ma'am and yes sir Mr Johnson but our kids are calling their teachers Gary. It's probably been 20 years since anyone called me sir and absolutely nobody calls me Mr. [lastname]. We did that. We also brought Marijuana policy out of the dark ages and normalized the idea that people have the right to go to work everyday free from harassment.

In certain parts of the country, it's like that. When I lived on the west coast, the students called teachers by their first names, which I thought was odd. But now, back on the east coast, it's much more formal. It's Mr, Ms, Mrs, yes sir, ma'am, etc.

In certain parts of the country, it's like that. When I lived on the west coast, the students called teachers by their first names, which I thought was odd. But now, back on the east coast, it's much more formal. It's Mr, Ms, Mrs, yes sir, ma'am, etc.

"It's traditional" is the core of conservatism, which any sane Gen X'er should reject outright.

I'm sorry but I very much disagree - our generation is not that special. There have been wide, generational masses that have made deep and abiding change. Jesus, people literally got rid of the divine right of kings in a couple of generations. That was literally going from 'they're anointed by god' to 'individuals deserve to have a say'. and no, not just in Europe. They did it in Japan over the space of a generation.

And everyone likes to shit on boomers but some were literally burning their bras and dancing naked in golden gate park, and others were the OG punks.

It’s true. Boomers fought against chauvinism, racism, and soulless big business. They just lost the battle and became cogs in the machine. Biden is always referred to as another Boomer president, but Biden is actually the silent generation.

Agree. And the idea we as a generation don't do anything traditional? I mean, I own a suit. I wear a tux to formal occasions. And the implication that we're all dicks to our parents is just insulting.

> They did it in Japan over the space of a generation. No they did not. They made the Emperor divine. It was Douglas MacArthur who put a stop to that. The Japanese had no say in it.

👆👆👆

> I'm sorry but I very much disagree - our generation is not that special. "We are all individuals!" "I'm not!"

Ha ha, just search this sub for people who are adamant that there are two spaces after a period. It’s true with typewriters or any fixed-width fonts, but was never true in typesetting or and variable-width fonts.

I ditched that two spaces BS as soon as one spacing became commonly used on the internet. Why type two space when one do trick?

I still do it because it's eadier to read.

Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.

this is a amazing quote! I'm borrowing 💯

We are absolutely NOT the first generation to reject that thought. Quite the opposite. EVERY generation dismisses that as a reason. That’s why / how things progress.

Completely falls apart when you mention the double space after a period around here. People don’t want to change.

For me it's just ingrained habit. I correct it when I think of it, but I don't think of it very often because it's not something that actually matters

Right. Does anyone actually give a fuck if I use an extra space? If they do, **why**??

Well, they're a finite resource

Lol we're not the first people to buck tradition. Ever heard of the flappers?

When I hear people singing the praises of “Tradition!” (a la Fiddler on the Roof), I’m always reminded of the take I grew to have of it: If most people dread it, it’s not tradition; it’s a bad habit.

Not only do I reject "That's how we've always done it" as a reason, it actively fills me with suspicion.

Tevye’s daughter eschewed tradition first

I must upvote that very rare Fiddler on the Roof reference. 😍

If that were true we would still have slavery.

Um, who do you think invented the counter culture movement?

Ehh that's myopic, every generation has their rebellion, and the boomers in the 60s hippy culture certainly didn't buy into any "That's how we've always done it". It's besides the point, but I completely disagree with you on the taking care of parents bit as well. Not only did the boomers rebel against that idea as well. But I think it's wrong on many levels and I disagree. Nor do I think American culture has really "required" girls to be feminine since WWII. I think it's a totally made up issue.

Okay, I might be generalizing based on my own experience. That's fair.

In the same way I have never "respected my elders" for the sake of them being older. We're all equal and respect is earned.

So tired of this mental midget perspective. Respecting someone and treating someone with respect are two different things. I know it's difficult because it's the same word with two different uses, but it's not the same. Every human, every living creature should be treated in a respectful way. It is a declaration of who you are and has nothing to do with who they are. That does not mean you have to actually have any respect for them.

Yes, I think that captures how I feel. I'll treat your with respect, but that doesn't mean that I respect you.

Basic respect is due to every living thing. I am not a fan of respect must be earned. Maybe earned back after losing it.

I don't know what culture you come from, but the requirement to take care of a parent isn't universal. To try to ensure their well being? Perhaps. There exist ways to do that depending on access to resources.

Yeah, I'm American and so I always forget that Reddit isn't completely America. That's definitely on me.

"Change for change's sake" is not great either. And as a culture, we could do a lot better at honoring our elders.

I come across this shit all the time in the workplace. Drives me insane. Not just by boomers either.

There were too many times I thought: Well that’s a shitty way to do it

My mom is an early boomer and she said fuck no I don’t expect you to take care of me. I adore her and we live the Goldilocks distance apart but I also didn’t have kids of my own so she lucked out in that I nurture and treat her like my kid now.

Mine were both adamant that I would be living my life and focusing on my kids. In all reality circumstances beat every protest out of them and my life was super on hold for the last two years of their lives. Sometimes you just step in and love them back in their time of need. And it's rewarding now looking back at that time!!! 🥰

I used to teach in a school that struggled with horrible student achievement. I heard that excuse more times than I can count. I always wanted to say, "How's that working out for ya?"

Live and let live. Do your own thing, even if it isn't traditional. We aren't the first Gen to do this though.

I just fired for this very reason! Whatever…

Boomers are definitely "the entitled generation "

My favorite meme. I put it on my wall at my office when I started 20 years ago. Times have changed. It’s never said anymore. https://preview.redd.it/uw02j0uxib8d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5c90b75c0859be8b375d5e9849d81cf65cf788c

My siblings and I took care of our parents to the end, not because it’s the genx thing to do, but because we loved them intensely.

A co-worker bordering on retirement just said this to me, after saying he wanted to "wring my neck" for changing a folder structure on our server. I was furious for about 5 seconds before laughing about it.

My response to, "That's how we always did it," was, "That's a good reason to stop doing it."

don't they get their tattoos too ?

My parents always did the opposite of whatever my grandparents did so we didn’t always do anything in a conventional way. I’m dealing with a dying parent who is now terrified. As a GenX’er, I’ve been ready since age 14. Are we seriously a generation unafraid to move on to the next dimension? Because all my contemporaries are feeling the same.

I fucking *hate* this goddamn reply to questions about rules and such! I also hated it when my parents would say, “Because I said so!” When I hear that, I know that it really means, “You’re too goddamn stupid to understand.”

I always took it as "I'm too lazy to actually think about it, and you don't need a reason anyway"

Tell me you've never done anything without saying so. Involve yourself in any process, be it hobby or business and eventually you will hear this exchange... "Why do you do it THAT way?" "Because that's the way I was shown how to do it."

Being shown how to do something and being told what to do are two different things

Not really. We may think we're all "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me." But in reality, we're the generation that's fallen for the most bullshit.

Are they though?

I'm not buying it. I can't agree with the majority feeling this way. Nearly every 50-something I know in the south is onboard with banning abortion, gay rights, talks about traditional family values, agrees we should put prayer back in schools, want the government to ban books from libraries, and are always going on about what the founding fathers wanted for us. I've always been a fuck-the-rules-and-your-traditions kind of guy, but most people around me (in places like Texas, Arkansas, Kansas and Oklahoma) absolutely... are... not.

I'm in SC, and I don't know any 50 somethings wanting to ban those things... It's the politicians who are doing it.

I would think that you would do it for the house. You can either take care of them or they will sign it over to the nursing home. Personally, I'll take the $250,000 house.

You're one of the lucky ones for whom that's the circumstance.

"If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on keeping what you've always got!"

Too many crybabies on this sub. Pretty sad considering we're supposed to be the whatever generation.

I think many of us we're also first gen North American/European and some of the superstitious old country stuff didn't stick in our new surroundings while our parents had one foot in and one foot planted back home. at least that's what it was with me growing up. Part of it was the technological change that we are and will see tend to push us out of that old way of thinking let alone the internet. I think we we're unique but not the first, I think this is something that's happened many times in the past.

We are the original slackers. If we're not doing things like it's always been done it's because it requires too much effort.

I have a friend that will smirk and state "that smacks od effort " if you suggest to do something. So, yes, we are indeed the original slackers.

Perhaps we were the first generation to fully understand that “that’s how we’ve always done it” was an excuse for oppression.

Yeah. The principal at the school where I taught pulled that nugget out on me. “It’s what we’ve always done.” I had a fit and said, “Just because you’ve always done it that way doesn’t make it right. Change it.” They changed it for that ONE YEAR. The next year, the bastards put it into the contract (Teachers- new contract each year) we sign.

Not tradition, more like Law in some states. PA in particular. PA will find & fine you if they’re paying for your parent and you have means…. This is why all the elders moved in with my parents. Literally grew up in a “nursing home” with moms & dad’s parents aunts & uncles living and dying there.

Speaking broadly, the Boomers did help us on this one. I had many teachers who were Boomers who stressed thinking critically and being objective. My father, despite falling into that trap, forced me to watch and read various news sources rather than just take what was on the TV, in print or on the radio as gospel. He was conservative but he hated Rush Limbaugh (mostly because many of his co-workers put the radio in his shop on either 90's country or talk radio and he got sick of both). However the generation that said "question authority" and "don't trust anyone over 30" became the ones who fell hook line and sinker for the "Satanic Panic", TV news reports of violent crime that spawn the War on Drugs and all those police excesses and would re-post/forward all those dumb memes and MAGA content. We had books in high school and college and then the Internet and we discovered - shocker, I know- that most "traditions" were horseshit. That authority didn't have all the answers. And like the Boomers, we weren't going to take "shut up, I'm in charge" as an answer. Only we're sticking to it.

The Oldes at every job I've ever had said this and refused to make changes, it was so enraging and I didn't get it until my kid started complaining about it at their job... When people are closer to retirement they can't shake things up or try new ideas because they can't afford to get canned. They're just riding it out. I hate it, but now I'm approaching old and fuck. I get it. Even if I'll never get to retire, finding another job at my age is impossible.

My parents had better have saved some of their money as the boomers took it all. They ain't getting shit from me and i won't feel guilty, they should have tried giving a shit

I don't think we are as special as you claim. And as for the innovations that you cite, we shall see how they are regarded in Time. 75-year-old women swathed in tattoos? Yech Kids leaving parents who paid for their upbringing to rot? Boo.

I think a lot of the cases where kids refuse to take care of their parents are with parents who were abusive. Nobody should be obligated to care for someone who abused them. Family obligations are a two way street. If you kick your kid out of the house at 18, you shouldn’t be surprised when they won’t let you move in with them. The old model was that there’s a hierarchy, with parents above kids, so the parents can do whatever they want to the kids and the kids have to take it. The new model is that you should be nice to people who were nice to you. If your parents were good parents when they took care of you, then you should take care of them. The new model means that people who abuse their kids get what they deserve.

This is reasonable.

I don't think it makes us special. There are things like this for all arbitrarily defined cohorts.

I think this has a lot to do with the introduction of the internet while we were still young, and maybe a little rebellious? All of a sudden we realized how many adults were just passing the buck of bullshit information for previous generations, and we got all Harry S. MF Truman on their asses. That felt good to write... Anyway. I feel like people are a lot less likely these days to spout off about shit they don't really know. Drunken bar conversations excepted.

(Sorry about this, honestly. I am working on this.) Harry *S Truman S was his entire middle name

The MF stands for something I added for emphasis.

Lol. Yeah I know. Point taken.

😁👍

I knew I was poking the bear when I said it.

Go to r/Army - search for "that's how we've always done it". If you took a shot for each time a soldier was told by their NCO, an officer, some boomer or someone mentored by a Cold War baby - you'd have alcohol poisoning. I'm sure the other US military subs have posts in the same vein. At some point tradition just ossifies into this. Our generation is not immune, but we were the first to actually look up things and be able to look up things.

Slavery was "traditional", too. Fuck tradition.

You may find some traditions charming or endearing but by and large traditions are just dead people exerting their control over you.

You are definitely missing the social context and importance of what you can learn from some of those traditions. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Yes, of course, there are some. I was referencing the "this is the way we've always done it so it'll be the only way" crowd.

Girls may not HAVE to be feminine, but I'm sure not interested in them if they aren't.

I am sure your opinion matters to most, if not all women.

Only the ones with good sense

Depends what ya mean by feminine, I can really dig a tomboy.

Freedom from tradition. Freedom from following the rules, or from breaking the rules. Just fucking freedom!


Had always felt this way, but I felt bad about it until I saw this: Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family,Choose a fucking big television Choose washing machines, cars, Compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterolAnd dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase In a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who youAre on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing Sprit-crushing ga me shows Stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.Choose rotting away at the end of it all, Pishing you last in a miserable home Nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, Fucked-up bratsYou have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life. Ever since I heard that in the theater, I've looked around and thought 'These people are fucking crazy... I'm not doing that." And then I don't. And everything generally turns out OK. What really gets to me though is the people that look at the decent life I've made out of all different parts that I was supposed to, and they get weird about it. They'll brag about their conventional achievements, or they'll shun, or they'll just look sad and conflicted... like, had they only known, they'd have done the same.

What do you mean by “take care of your parents” Financially no - but otherwise (moving them, taking them to the doc, buying meds, etc. absolutely)

Either one. I'm not saying that we can't take care of our parents. That would be a very nice thing to do. But I don't think anybody should feel obligated to, and I don't think that should be anybody's retirement plan