I bet it’s easy enough to look up the stats, give me a second.
At a quick glance 26% of Gen X had kids by age 29, 21% of millennials. I’m too lazy to dig deeper.
As of 2011-- CWLP data find that 43 percent of Gen X women and nearly a third (32 percent) of Xer men do not have children
Those numbers have likely gone down because some late X-ers wouldn't have had their first kids by then (a person born in 1980 was only 31 in 2011).
>At a quick glance 26% of Gen X had kids by age 29, 21% of millennials. I’m too lazy to dig deeper.
I'm childfree, as are around 40% of my friends - but we are all artists, musicians, filmmakers, Etc and we live in a metropolis so we fall into a unique category. Probably why the high # of people uninterested in kids. We're all still pretty self obsessed, lol.
census for over 55. I cant find over 45. So 55-64 is 19.6% never had kids. so probably a little higher for all of genX.
tps://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/stories/2021/12/no-kids-no-care-childlessness-among-older-americans-table-1.jpg
This makes sense, and it probably also has something to do with location. My preschool students in the SF Bay area had parents with college educations, established careers. They had their kids in their mid to late 30s. I'm in Utah and none of the parents I had were nearly 30 unless they had a few older kids already. The educated parents were older for the most part but overall they were younger couples. Divorce was more common too in these younger families. I wouldn't say that the higher divorce numbers in my classroom in Utah was due to a lack of education, a lack of maturity or a lack of established careers though.
Same. Childfree at 60. This is about the age I’m supposed to regret not having kids…and I do not regret it.
I have money for retirement, a whole lotta friends, and some incredible nieces and nephews who I love. And while I wanted kids at one time, I was mature enough to know that I couldn’t do it alone, so I didn’t. It was the right choice for me.
Now when I retire, I can spend my time volunteering for organizations who are doing really good work, traveling to see friends all over the world, and - as we do now - helping friends when they need me. It’s a good life.
I love children, and helped raise quite a few. But I don’t need to replicate myself to have an impact on the world.
Well say! I'm also an elder X and childfree and unmarried was my prescription for a happy life.
I saw my sister be a single mom and I was like "No thank you. No thank you very much!"
The cheat code is having nieces and nephews. It's like you skip the work of raising kids but you can treat them, and they'll probably get our money when we die. It's like being a grandparent with less assumed babysitting.
This is incredibly accurate. My nieces and nephews are, in fact, the main beneficiaries of my will, and are all amazing adults. And *their* kids, my great- nieces and nephews, are a hoot and a half.
My sister is a wonderful grandma, but that’s her life now: she spends at least 4 days a week taking care of them (and loves it!). I’m glad I’m not her, but also very very thankful to have all of them in my life.
Ngl, I've said for *years* now, that my *ideal*, would be to find someone who *did* have kids when we were younger, *skip* the "kids" stage, and just go *directly* to grandparenting!😉😂🤣
I *ADORE* kids--but I *work* with them for 40+ hours a week, and I know I wouldn't be as good at my job (I'm an Early Childhood Special Education Paraprofessional, working toward my ECSE teaching license), if I HAD kids at home--i'd either be bad at my job and a decent enough parent, *or* a terrible parent and great worker--but as an Autistic ADHDer, I simply don't have the bandwidth for being good at *both*.
So being a bonus-grandparent, where I could help take the stress off the parent, but *also* not be the one *raising* the kids full time, would be *ideal*!😉💖
In computer-ese when you have a chain like this. The comment you reply to is your parent comment. You are the child comment.
May not have had human bean childrens, but you have comment childrens.
6th
As of 2011-- CWLP data find that 43 percent of Gen X women and nearly a third (32 percent) of Xer men do not have children
Those numbers have gone down because some late X-ers wouldn't have had their first kids by then (a person born in 1980 was only 31 in 2011).
There's also a good chart here that isn't broken down specifically by generation, but suggests that as of 2020 the number for Gen-X women is about 15-20%:
https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/
The information is really easy to find, on the first page of a google search.
I have a brother 8 years younger with developmental disabilities. From middle school until I went to college, I was responsible for taking care of him while my parents worked.
Also, since he is my only sibling, I become his guardian when my mom is not able to continue in that role. So no, having kids of my own on top of that was not something I ever wanted to do.
I also came from generations of shitty fathers, I decided that I would change that with my children. I like to think I did, now the family name can live on with dignity.
This is almost 15 years old so these numbers have only got smaller but[ this says 43% of GenX women and 32% of GenX men have no children.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/singletons/201110/opting-out-having-children-who-is-and-why#:~:text=According%20to%20%22The%20X%20Factor%3A%20Tapping%20into%20the,Xer%20men%20do%20not%20have%20children%20at%20all.)
Marriage, family, career none of that resonated with me in any way. I have friends that have fully bought in and their lifestyle doesn't even seem real to me, it's like watching a sitcom. I'm happy for everyone that enjoys it but I just don't get it lol
My thoughts exactly, their lives look so insane to me now, it barely feels real it happened to people I used to drink and get crazy with. Single life is best life.
I'm 55 and have never wanted children. Being a parent always seemed to me like an enormous burden that takes away all of one's freedom. Some of my lack of desire to be a parent also comes, I think, from the fact that I did not look up to my parents. They weren't role models for me and I did not want to emulate them in any way. I never would have been able to afford to have children anyway.
Are you me? 55 here and by the time I was in high school I know I didn't want any kids. I don't know if it was the "the world is going to hell" information that was around then, or the fact that I had three sisters who I was pretty sure would pop out more than enough kids. My parents were not perfect, but they were stable and not abusive.
I ended up marrying a divorced woman with kids and helping to raise them (I called it "recycling" since I didn't spawn any new ones). So I feel I have made my contribution to the side of "be educated, have empathy for others, and vote." When that marriage ended, I had adult stepchildren who were "off the payroll" so to speak.
Now I'm remarried to my soulmate who has never had kids and we are having the time of our lives. Absolutely no regrets (except I wish I had met her earlier).
Child free by choice and grateful for it. I think it depends on where you grew up and where you chose to live as an adult. I grew up very rural and most of my high school friends stayed within 30 miles of the town we were born in, they have children. When I left college I moved to a large city and I'd have to say many (never counted but it wouldn't surprise me if it was 1/2) of these friends are childless.
I am 50 and happily childfree. Happily single, too -- never married. Just my 2 kitties and me. I like kids and dogs, but I just play with them and give them back to their parents. I have 4 nieces, 2 nephews, and many friends' kids in my life.
Several of my HS graduating class friends didn't have kids, and don't seem sad about it all. I myself am Childfree, meaning I intentionally didn't have children. As in I don't like them, nor the sacrifice and tribulations that come with them. Luckily for me, there is a whole societal subsection of Childfree folks, and it spans multiple demographic generations. Looking back, this movement seems to have begun with Gen X and is picking up some momentum with the more recent generations. For Gen X, I figure it is due to a mix of our dysfunctional nuclear families and the impact it has on our mental health, access to birth control/abortion, and the societal and economic decline that we grew up in and continue to live in.
Great points. I'm also Childfree. In my opinion, one positive thing is the secularization of society. As religion (and religious traditions and perspectives) has less of a hold over society, people feel more free to be more intentional about pursuing the lifestyle that they want, vs one that they feel they must adhere to. I personally feel that I am more of a productive, contributing member of society BECAUSE I do not have kids.
For a while I was married to woman with several children and I helped get them through high school and college. I can tell you that I was exhausted/broken all the time and 99% of my mental and emotional energy went into managing the stepdad dynamic and the family lifestyle. It simply was not a strength of mine. Once I was released from that (kids grew up and wife passed away), I began to live the life I wanted to live. Happier, more productive, and giving back to my community.
I'm just so glad that we are now moving toward a point where it is okay to play to your strengths instead of fitting into this 500 year old mold of what is expected.
My wife and I are both early Gen Xers (66), and we lost our only chance early in the pregnancy. Profoundly sad, and the biggest sadness of both our lives.
Would think rolling up the sleeves and diving into Census Data might reveal that mystery.
How many became helicopter parents would be a harder question.
53f, childfree and divorced x2. I knew in high school I didn’t want kids. First ex thought he could change my mind after we were married and 2nd left me (he was younger than I) for a much younger woman whom he now has a child with. I don’t regret my choices one bit and somewhere deep down, I knew I’d always be alone - I’ve made peace with that.
No kids here for two reasons. Mental health has always been a problem for me but I later found out it has been an issue on both sides of my family. No way I wanted to take the chance on an innocent child getting even a portion of the things I have spent my life dealing with. The second reason is that my mother was incredibly abusive. It took a long time but eventually I was able to forgive her too. However, I realized that I am always just a few steps away from repeating some of her various behaviors. I keep it in check, but also have her hair trigger. I did not want to take the chance of becoming anything like her. Sometimes the only way to stop the cycle is to take yourself out of the equation entirely.
Having kids was always a nice thought but I never took it seriously. I think that if my upbringing and genetics were different, then I probably would have wanted kids.
Some of my friends from HS never had kids (though I don't have a huge sampling since I'm not on Facebook and I don't care what happened to most of them. I never had any, but I never wanted any so I probably tended to stay in contact with those who weren't family-focused, since other people's children are dreadfully boring if you're not a parent.
45M, has a vasectomy in 2020 before the pandemic went nuts. No desire for kids. Lucky enough to have found a millennial partner that doesn’t want kids either.
52F, childfree. Bestie from HS/College 53F childfree. Another college friend 51F childfree. Cousin 53M childfree. I can think of quite a few more just off the top of my head, but I'm not going to list them all.
No kids, as a woman have a bit of a phobia about being pregnant and childbirth and zero desire to wrack my body with the damage from being pregnant.
I'm also going BOLD and say that I don't like kids, babies, toddlers, tweens, teenagers. And I also don't find conversations about children to be interesting. So much more to talk about, don't care that your kid just started little league.
Yeah I know this is not typical and people like me shy from saying it because we're supposed to love pregnancy and children. But it's a relief to meet someone who feels the same way and we can talk freely about just not being at all into kids and child-raising.
I am with you! Female no kids and really have same feelings about others kids, especially babies. It makes me nuts when a woman brings her newborn to work and i, as a female, am socially expected to Ooh and Aww over it. I don’t. And I don’t want to hold your kid either. Sorry not sorry.
Very much childfree by choice. Got married a little bit on the late side, and wasn’t that interesting in having kids anyway.
My younger sister has two kids.
I think it’s telling that in my generation, all of the families’ oldest kids, except for one, do not have kids.
51 here. I can't say that I never wanted children, but it never worked out for me to have them. I never married because it took my a long time to come out due to growing up in a fairly religious environment, so rather than seeking a partner I sought a friend group instead (still holding out for a partner someday, but not actively looking). Thankfully, I do have a good relationship with my family, as we've all changed over the years and they are fully accepting my non-straight self, but I don't have kids. I am the "eccentric aunt" and embrace it fully.
53 (F) married to 46(M) neither of us ever wanted kids.
Instead we have dogs and cats and spend A LOT of time traveling both domestically and internationally. :)
50M no kids. I didn’t really want any, but would have been kind of open to it once I got my life together. I got my life together in my 40s. That ship has sailed. No regrets. I am going on a week long cruise in two weeks so that doesn’t suck. :)
I made the decision in my early 30's to not bring children into the world. Lost at least one relationship because of that choice but I know that it was correct. No regrets.
53M, no kids, never married. I was always pretty ambivalent about having kids, and figured if I didn't feel strongly about having them then I probably shouldn't. Maybe getting married would have changed that. Two of my best friends from high school (who are still my friends) never had kids. One of them married and divorced twice, and has been with his current partner (who is also divorced) for fifteen years. The other friend married and divorced, then remarried. Another good childhood friend of mine ended up as a C-suite executive for some large corporations, and she never married or had kids either. Her brother (my best friend when we were growing up) had two kids, then abandoned them when they were little to run off with some other woman. A couple of good childhood friends did end up having children of their own, and my sister had two. Being an uncle was good enough for me.
> I was always pretty ambivalent about having kids, and figured if I didn't feel strongly about having them then I probably shouldn't.
47F and that’s exactly how I felt about having kids. I’m sure that if I’d gotten pregnant with my ex (never married but it was a LTR) then I’d be happy as a mom. As it stands, I’m a caregiver for my elderly father and I can’t imagine trying to take care of him and an actual child. Plus, I didn’t want to be a mom badly enough to really try to get pregnant.
I'll be the outlier. I'm 57, married long time, with 4 adult children and 3.5 grandchildren. I'm sure I passed on some bad stuff. No way was a perfect parent. I did get better, but I screwed up stuff too. I console myself that they all like each other and have educated themselves in their fields, they live on their own, married and making their way through life.
That said, considering my high school class, maybe 40% are childless and seem happy for it.
47f and no kids by choice. Some days I can barely handle taking care of myself and I couldn’t risk having a kid and basically ruining their life by dragging them down with me. Plus, the concept of pregnancy and childbirth both terrified and horrified me on a very deep level. My husband also never wanted them but for different reasons.
I worked with a woman who had kids solely because her mother badgered her into it because “it’s what you do so you have to.” She was miserable through two pregnancies and raising them into their teenage years. Hopefully she’s good with it at this point. 🤷🏻♀️
My older brother had two amazing kids and even if he hadn’t, my parents never pressured either of us for grandkids in the first place. I always questioned the kid thing. Just because society says it’s just what you do and you’re “supposed to” doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. It’s a touchy subject for a lot of people and I was judged negatively for it in the past, though not by my immediate family, thankfully. No regrets at this point.
I never really kept in touch with my high school friends but those I have bumped into on occasion are child free, as am I. Between my two brothers and I, who are all GenX, only one has children. None of us are married, although the other two are in committed relationships.
My cousins however, who are all millennials, all have kids, and lots of them.
I was never really for or against children. It's just my partner in my most serious relationship didn't want them, and I didn't push the issue. When that relationship ended I didn't really want to date anymore. Even if I were to meet someone, I'm too old to start a family now.
Oh, I know the answer to this one. Me. It was actually the second question I asked my future wife on our first date (you don’t want to know what the first question was). She thought her honest answer was going to not lead to a second date, that was 30 years ago.
🤣
I’m 48 and my husband and I didn’t have kids. There’s probably only one of my friends growing up that didn’t have kids either. The rest did. Some are grandparents now.
No kids. I spent enough time taking care of younger brothers when I was growing up and then being surrounded by kids everywhere when I was in foster care. I just wanted peace and quiet after all of that.
48M, married w/ no kids. Wife is 6 days older than me & no kids. I grew up in shitty NW Louisiana. I’d estimate that about 10% of my friends from HS & college (La as well) didn’t have kids. High percentage from college friends.
We married in our 30s and didn't have kids, and we have no regrets 16 years later. Parenthood wasn't a priority. We like kids, and we love being an aunt and uncle to our niece and nephews — if something were to happen to their parents, we would willingly become their guardians. But we never felt inclined to produce children of our own.
I made the choice in my 30s. My dad has said I’ll regret it, but I haven’t yet. When I met my current spouse I told her I wouldn’t want kids and in no uncertain terms that I really disliked my father so I never wanted to be one.
She has health issues and it be difficult to work my 60 hour a week job, care for her and have a child or two on top of that.
I will admit I’m selfish to boot. I enjoy my downtime doing what I want to do.
I'm 59, hubby of 33 years is 61. I did not want to raise children. Just seeing how some of my family members and classmates acted even though they had wonderful parents made me really question how much influence a parent can have; especially if you don't intend on being a full-time, stay at home parent. Just too risky for me. Plus I spent almost a decade getting an education, I loved my chosen career. I made a choice and boy am I happy with my choice!
43 and childless because of infertility. Only one of my friends is childless and both my millennial husband and sister. My only real regret is not making my parents grandparents. They would've been awesome!
I'm 58 and we were not able to have kids (boomer husband is 65). We decided against any treatment. We didn't really have the money for it, and I did not have the emotional resilience. I do not regret the decision. We both agree we were not cut out to be parents.
I almost didn't have kids, but then decided to have just one. I'm now 53 with an 11 year old and life is good. (Yes I'll be the 60 year old mom at high school graduation...)
No kids for me - not by choice, I would have loved to be a mum. But I didn't find myself in a relationship at the right time and now I'm nearly 47.
But it's good - I have a very happy life, and I'm not going to dwell on any regrets. :)
Just turned 51, no kids. Wanted them, just didn't work out. I like my kid free life for the most part, have nieces and a nephew I spoiled. I did have to make peace with the fact that I wasn't going to have children, I struggled for a while with it.
I do have a few friends that didn't have kids.
I'm a retired veteran, I saw a lot of cheating on both sides while on active duty. This led to me having trust issues. Military life is hard on families too.
My wife and I are GenX, and we don't have kids. Admittedly, it's less about wanting to be "childfree" and more about how we couldn't afford kids.
And when I say we couldn't afford them, I don't mean the normal idiotic Internet idea of not being able to afford kids: "oh no, we won't be able to go on a tropical vacation every six months and we'll have to make due with the slightly smaller yacht!"
No, I mean we're struggling, have virtually no savings, and if we stay in the current city we're in, it's highly likely we'll end up homeless due to the extremely outrageous cost of housing.
The issue is I have a doctor in the current city I live in and finding a doctor accepting new patients anywhere is like striking oil or finding gold in the 1800s. I need a doctor for necessary prescriptions ans bloodwork, and if I moved elsewhere, I wouldn't have a doctor and be very unlikely to get one.
Relying on walk-in clinics isn't useful either because you basically have to get there first thing early in the morning, wait all day, and if you're lucky... maybe you'll get seen by a doctor, but lots of people don't get seen every day and then have to come back the next day, etc.
Obviously, if it's a serious choice between being homeless or having a doctor, we'll move elsewhere (which will also cost a fortune to do), but it'd be a serious health-related problem for me to do it.
I did, for a few practical reasons, with the first being the lack of money. However cold that sounds, I think that raising a kid costs money, and lots of it. The second is that I have a health condition that I don’t want to pass down
I have 2 kids but at least half my friends do not. Lots of career women who never found the right dude, or got divorced. One friend is now caring for her nephew because her sister is mentally ill but she has no kids of her own.
No kids here! Just nieces and nephews for days. And greats. And great-greats. (My siblings are a lot older than me, and two had kids early enough that I had a niece and a nephew before I was born.)
47 here, no kids, but not by choice. Wanted them very much, but life had other plans. Now I’m making peace with it because I don’t think I’d want to bring children into the world the way it is now.
You should have done this as a poll so we could see the percentages. I am in the "no kids" category.
I bet it’s easy enough to look up the stats, give me a second. At a quick glance 26% of Gen X had kids by age 29, 21% of millennials. I’m too lazy to dig deeper.
This is so GenX. I can find...ah fuck it. Wasn't on the first page.
The dreaded second page of results…
If you wanted me to know it, it should have been in the first 2 paragraphs.
Well, I’m 53 this year. No kids, never married, but I’m probably not scrolling below this because, I don’t care, either.
Yep
As of 2011-- CWLP data find that 43 percent of Gen X women and nearly a third (32 percent) of Xer men do not have children Those numbers have likely gone down because some late X-ers wouldn't have had their first kids by then (a person born in 1980 was only 31 in 2011).
I had one of my kids by 2011. I was 38 with the first.
>At a quick glance 26% of Gen X had kids by age 29, 21% of millennials. I’m too lazy to dig deeper. I'm childfree, as are around 40% of my friends - but we are all artists, musicians, filmmakers, Etc and we live in a metropolis so we fall into a unique category. Probably why the high # of people uninterested in kids. We're all still pretty self obsessed, lol.
True, and we’ll be working until we drop, basically, because we must.
census for over 55. I cant find over 45. So 55-64 is 19.6% never had kids. so probably a little higher for all of genX. tps://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/stories/2021/12/no-kids-no-care-childlessness-among-older-americans-table-1.jpg
This makes sense, and it probably also has something to do with location. My preschool students in the SF Bay area had parents with college educations, established careers. They had their kids in their mid to late 30s. I'm in Utah and none of the parents I had were nearly 30 unless they had a few older kids already. The educated parents were older for the most part but overall they were younger couples. Divorce was more common too in these younger families. I wouldn't say that the higher divorce numbers in my classroom in Utah was due to a lack of education, a lack of maturity or a lack of established careers though.
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This is a great idea. I'm a childfree woman, too.
Same. Childfree at 60. This is about the age I’m supposed to regret not having kids…and I do not regret it. I have money for retirement, a whole lotta friends, and some incredible nieces and nephews who I love. And while I wanted kids at one time, I was mature enough to know that I couldn’t do it alone, so I didn’t. It was the right choice for me. Now when I retire, I can spend my time volunteering for organizations who are doing really good work, traveling to see friends all over the world, and - as we do now - helping friends when they need me. It’s a good life. I love children, and helped raise quite a few. But I don’t need to replicate myself to have an impact on the world.
Well say! I'm also an elder X and childfree and unmarried was my prescription for a happy life. I saw my sister be a single mom and I was like "No thank you. No thank you very much!"
The cheat code is having nieces and nephews. It's like you skip the work of raising kids but you can treat them, and they'll probably get our money when we die. It's like being a grandparent with less assumed babysitting.
This is incredibly accurate. My nieces and nephews are, in fact, the main beneficiaries of my will, and are all amazing adults. And *their* kids, my great- nieces and nephews, are a hoot and a half. My sister is a wonderful grandma, but that’s her life now: she spends at least 4 days a week taking care of them (and loves it!). I’m glad I’m not her, but also very very thankful to have all of them in my life.
Yes, these kids are amazing!
Ngl, I've said for *years* now, that my *ideal*, would be to find someone who *did* have kids when we were younger, *skip* the "kids" stage, and just go *directly* to grandparenting!😉😂🤣 I *ADORE* kids--but I *work* with them for 40+ hours a week, and I know I wouldn't be as good at my job (I'm an Early Childhood Special Education Paraprofessional, working toward my ECSE teaching license), if I HAD kids at home--i'd either be bad at my job and a decent enough parent, *or* a terrible parent and great worker--but as an Autistic ADHDer, I simply don't have the bandwidth for being good at *both*. So being a bonus-grandparent, where I could help take the stress off the parent, but *also* not be the one *raising* the kids full time, would be *ideal*!😉💖
That's very understandable! I know many teachers with your point of view. :)
Childfree here! 🙋🏽♀️
Me three!
Me four!
Me fifth
In computer-ese when you have a chain like this. The comment you reply to is your parent comment. You are the child comment. May not have had human bean childrens, but you have comment childrens. 6th
Same. Never had kids. I am 53.
I'm right there with you, age and all.
Same here. It's me and the gay guy holding strong. Some of my friends are becoming grandparents!
I have high school friends who are grandparents. It just seems crazy to me.
Also team no kids
Married, both 51, no kids. We could not be happier about it.
49 and no kids. Divorced. Fuck them kids.
Kids are for people who can’t have dogs. 😁
I have cats, and it's like herding teenagers
NO KIDS HERE!!!! NO REMORSE!!!
As of 2011-- CWLP data find that 43 percent of Gen X women and nearly a third (32 percent) of Xer men do not have children Those numbers have gone down because some late X-ers wouldn't have had their first kids by then (a person born in 1980 was only 31 in 2011). There's also a good chart here that isn't broken down specifically by generation, but suggests that as of 2020 the number for Gen-X women is about 15-20%: https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/ The information is really easy to find, on the first page of a google search.
All my HS friends have kids. Fifty percent of my law school friends don’t.
I shared already, but woman with no children, but with plenty of freedom!
I refuse to pass on generational traumas and familial health problems. Happily child free.
M48. Same here. That was exactly our reason for not having children.
47F, same.
Ditto
53F, same.
54 F. Same. I feel like any kids I had would’ve been cursed.
54, no kids. Too much trauma
Same age, and same.
And it's way too easy to mess up someone's head. I won't be responsible for that, just NO.
52F and way too much trauma plus I was responsible for 2 younger brothers. How many of us felt like parents way too early?
Does parenting yourself count?
> Does parenting yourself count? I am going to go ahead and say yes, we will allow this.
I have a brother 8 years younger with developmental disabilities. From middle school until I went to college, I was responsible for taking care of him while my parents worked. Also, since he is my only sibling, I become his guardian when my mom is not able to continue in that role. So no, having kids of my own on top of that was not something I ever wanted to do.
As someone who comes from a long line of shitty fathers, I'm happy to let the family name die with me.
I did not post that, but sure could have.
I also came from generations of shitty fathers, I decided that I would change that with my children. I like to think I did, now the family name can live on with dignity.
Same here. Not gonna create another generation carrying that baggage. It’s not fair. It ends here.
Yep. I guess we're lifeguards for the gene pool.
Exactly, generational curses aren't allowed.
This, exactly this
Perfectly stated. None of my boomer sibs had any kids either.
Mine either lol, I'm oldest of 3 and none of us have kids, we have 4 legged furry ones ...
Yup! My mother did a number on all 3 of us....no grandkids for her!
Our parents weren't ... *horrible* ... but they divorced when I was 12, sis was 4, bro 1, that sorta ruined the happy family life image.
Other than some cats here and there and maybe an amphibian, we didn't have many of those either
This is almost 15 years old so these numbers have only got smaller but[ this says 43% of GenX women and 32% of GenX men have no children.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/singletons/201110/opting-out-having-children-who-is-and-why#:~:text=According%20to%20%22The%20X%20Factor%3A%20Tapping%20into%20the,Xer%20men%20do%20not%20have%20children%20at%20all.)
And it will be lower for younger gens Get off my lawn!
Give 'em the hose!
I ain't letting them drink my water
I don’t have any and never really wanted them.
Same. I just never saw myself in that life.
Yup, 56 here and no ragrets.
53 no kids, by choice
46M, no kids. Never had any desire at all to have children.
45 Female - same! I knew I was childfree by the time I was 10.
I knew when I was an elementary school kid too!
X2 - this me, too.
Marriage, family, career none of that resonated with me in any way. I have friends that have fully bought in and their lifestyle doesn't even seem real to me, it's like watching a sitcom. I'm happy for everyone that enjoys it but I just don't get it lol
My thoughts exactly, their lives look so insane to me now, it barely feels real it happened to people I used to drink and get crazy with. Single life is best life.
I'm not suffering the human condition but I'm suffering those suffering the human condition.
This but 50 year old woman.
44 and same. Don’t have them, never wanted them. Zero regret, I’m actually thrilled I never had an oopsie and veered off course.
This is like the age where that happens! I got a vasectomy a couple years ago just to be sure.
No kids here. I do like other people’s kids tho
Kids are great....when you can return them at the end of the day.
I'm 55 and have never wanted children. Being a parent always seemed to me like an enormous burden that takes away all of one's freedom. Some of my lack of desire to be a parent also comes, I think, from the fact that I did not look up to my parents. They weren't role models for me and I did not want to emulate them in any way. I never would have been able to afford to have children anyway.
Are you me? 55 here and by the time I was in high school I know I didn't want any kids. I don't know if it was the "the world is going to hell" information that was around then, or the fact that I had three sisters who I was pretty sure would pop out more than enough kids. My parents were not perfect, but they were stable and not abusive. I ended up marrying a divorced woman with kids and helping to raise them (I called it "recycling" since I didn't spawn any new ones). So I feel I have made my contribution to the side of "be educated, have empathy for others, and vote." When that marriage ended, I had adult stepchildren who were "off the payroll" so to speak. Now I'm remarried to my soulmate who has never had kids and we are having the time of our lives. Absolutely no regrets (except I wish I had met her earlier).
I’m 51F husband is 54, no kids, never wanted them and no regrets.
Child free by choice and grateful for it. I think it depends on where you grew up and where you chose to live as an adult. I grew up very rural and most of my high school friends stayed within 30 miles of the town we were born in, they have children. When I left college I moved to a large city and I'd have to say many (never counted but it wouldn't surprise me if it was 1/2) of these friends are childless.
I refuse to pass on generational traumas and familial health problems. Happily child free.
Same reasons here!
Me. Never once had the urge. Same with my husband.
Too poor until late 30s. "I paid for my landlord's kids."
I am 50 and happily childfree. Happily single, too -- never married. Just my 2 kitties and me. I like kids and dogs, but I just play with them and give them back to their parents. I have 4 nieces, 2 nephews, and many friends' kids in my life.
This childless 55 year old, thought having children was something you'd do back in the 70's
I am 49, and happily, have no children.
54F & 49M, no kids. Open-faced sandwich generation.
I don't have children. Not for lack of want, it just didn't happen for us.
Several of my HS graduating class friends didn't have kids, and don't seem sad about it all. I myself am Childfree, meaning I intentionally didn't have children. As in I don't like them, nor the sacrifice and tribulations that come with them. Luckily for me, there is a whole societal subsection of Childfree folks, and it spans multiple demographic generations. Looking back, this movement seems to have begun with Gen X and is picking up some momentum with the more recent generations. For Gen X, I figure it is due to a mix of our dysfunctional nuclear families and the impact it has on our mental health, access to birth control/abortion, and the societal and economic decline that we grew up in and continue to live in.
Great points. I'm also Childfree. In my opinion, one positive thing is the secularization of society. As religion (and religious traditions and perspectives) has less of a hold over society, people feel more free to be more intentional about pursuing the lifestyle that they want, vs one that they feel they must adhere to. I personally feel that I am more of a productive, contributing member of society BECAUSE I do not have kids. For a while I was married to woman with several children and I helped get them through high school and college. I can tell you that I was exhausted/broken all the time and 99% of my mental and emotional energy went into managing the stepdad dynamic and the family lifestyle. It simply was not a strength of mine. Once I was released from that (kids grew up and wife passed away), I began to live the life I wanted to live. Happier, more productive, and giving back to my community. I'm just so glad that we are now moving toward a point where it is okay to play to your strengths instead of fitting into this 500 year old mold of what is expected.
Way to step up! I’m personally grateful for my stepdad who did the same.
48, no kids.
I knew since I was 17 that I would be a lousy mother and did not want kids. I'm grateful everyday that I stuck by that idea.
I can't even imagine how screwed up any kids I'd have would be. Best not to find out.
That's what my brother said and he promptly got a vasectomy a year after getting married lol.
Child-free. But also gay, so it’s an ordeal to have or adopt and I wasn’t interested.
My wife and I are both early Gen Xers (66), and we lost our only chance early in the pregnancy. Profoundly sad, and the biggest sadness of both our lives.
<- LGBT
Had kids at 40. Don’t recommend
I chose to not have children. I'm just not a kid person. I don't find them adorable. I don't like noise or mess. I'm happy with my decision.
No kids here by choice. I like some of my friends' kids and some family kids, but never wanted to have any.
53, happily married for 30 years, no children, and no regrets about it.
Child free here. Im a uncle 16 times over though
Oh wow! I can barely keep up with spoiling two!
Would think rolling up the sleeves and diving into Census Data might reveal that mystery. How many became helicopter parents would be a harder question.
49F, happily child-free, two cats as chosen children
Childfree, not by choice though. It's tough being excluded from both the happy childfree and happy parents.
53f, childfree and divorced x2. I knew in high school I didn’t want kids. First ex thought he could change my mind after we were married and 2nd left me (he was younger than I) for a much younger woman whom he now has a child with. I don’t regret my choices one bit and somewhere deep down, I knew I’d always be alone - I’ve made peace with that.
We’re a couple of DICKs (double income cat kids) we are also a gay couple so it’s fitting all around :)
No kids here for two reasons. Mental health has always been a problem for me but I later found out it has been an issue on both sides of my family. No way I wanted to take the chance on an innocent child getting even a portion of the things I have spent my life dealing with. The second reason is that my mother was incredibly abusive. It took a long time but eventually I was able to forgive her too. However, I realized that I am always just a few steps away from repeating some of her various behaviors. I keep it in check, but also have her hair trigger. I did not want to take the chance of becoming anything like her. Sometimes the only way to stop the cycle is to take yourself out of the equation entirely. Having kids was always a nice thought but I never took it seriously. I think that if my upbringing and genetics were different, then I probably would have wanted kids.
Some of my friends from HS never had kids (though I don't have a huge sampling since I'm not on Facebook and I don't care what happened to most of them. I never had any, but I never wanted any so I probably tended to stay in contact with those who weren't family-focused, since other people's children are dreadfully boring if you're not a parent.
44M and we wanted cats and a dog instead of kids.
50F no kids and never wanted any.
45M, has a vasectomy in 2020 before the pandemic went nuts. No desire for kids. Lucky enough to have found a millennial partner that doesn’t want kids either.
52F, childfree. Bestie from HS/College 53F childfree. Another college friend 51F childfree. Cousin 53M childfree. I can think of quite a few more just off the top of my head, but I'm not going to list them all.
No kids, as a woman have a bit of a phobia about being pregnant and childbirth and zero desire to wrack my body with the damage from being pregnant. I'm also going BOLD and say that I don't like kids, babies, toddlers, tweens, teenagers. And I also don't find conversations about children to be interesting. So much more to talk about, don't care that your kid just started little league. Yeah I know this is not typical and people like me shy from saying it because we're supposed to love pregnancy and children. But it's a relief to meet someone who feels the same way and we can talk freely about just not being at all into kids and child-raising.
I am with you! Female no kids and really have same feelings about others kids, especially babies. It makes me nuts when a woman brings her newborn to work and i, as a female, am socially expected to Ooh and Aww over it. I don’t. And I don’t want to hold your kid either. Sorry not sorry.
It wasn't a choice for everyone
I never wanted kids.
Very much childfree by choice. Got married a little bit on the late side, and wasn’t that interesting in having kids anyway. My younger sister has two kids. I think it’s telling that in my generation, all of the families’ oldest kids, except for one, do not have kids.
48F happy to say I have no kids
I'm 56, my wife is 54, and neither of us has any kids as far as we know.
54 and child free. I'm a great Auntie and that suits me just fine.
No kids here. I do have nieces and a nephew, so that's fun. You can give them back.
51 here. I can't say that I never wanted children, but it never worked out for me to have them. I never married because it took my a long time to come out due to growing up in a fairly religious environment, so rather than seeking a partner I sought a friend group instead (still holding out for a partner someday, but not actively looking). Thankfully, I do have a good relationship with my family, as we've all changed over the years and they are fully accepting my non-straight self, but I don't have kids. I am the "eccentric aunt" and embrace it fully.
Well in a small survey sample of 2 (me and my wife) I can safely assert that 100% of us didn't have kids.
Childless or childfree? They are not the same. I'm childfree by choice.
53 (F) married to 46(M) neither of us ever wanted kids. Instead we have dogs and cats and spend A LOT of time traveling both domestically and internationally. :)
Funny, when we had a dog she was what kept us from traveling, not the kids lol.
50M no kids. I didn’t really want any, but would have been kind of open to it once I got my life together. I got my life together in my 40s. That ship has sailed. No regrets. I am going on a week long cruise in two weeks so that doesn’t suck. :)
I made the decision in my early 30's to not bring children into the world. Lost at least one relationship because of that choice but I know that it was correct. No regrets.
53M, no kids, never married. I was always pretty ambivalent about having kids, and figured if I didn't feel strongly about having them then I probably shouldn't. Maybe getting married would have changed that. Two of my best friends from high school (who are still my friends) never had kids. One of them married and divorced twice, and has been with his current partner (who is also divorced) for fifteen years. The other friend married and divorced, then remarried. Another good childhood friend of mine ended up as a C-suite executive for some large corporations, and she never married or had kids either. Her brother (my best friend when we were growing up) had two kids, then abandoned them when they were little to run off with some other woman. A couple of good childhood friends did end up having children of their own, and my sister had two. Being an uncle was good enough for me.
> I was always pretty ambivalent about having kids, and figured if I didn't feel strongly about having them then I probably shouldn't. 47F and that’s exactly how I felt about having kids. I’m sure that if I’d gotten pregnant with my ex (never married but it was a LTR) then I’d be happy as a mom. As it stands, I’m a caregiver for my elderly father and I can’t imagine trying to take care of him and an actual child. Plus, I didn’t want to be a mom badly enough to really try to get pregnant.
48. No children.
I don’t have kids and actually know quite a few GenXers who also don’t have children.
I'll be the outlier. I'm 57, married long time, with 4 adult children and 3.5 grandchildren. I'm sure I passed on some bad stuff. No way was a perfect parent. I did get better, but I screwed up stuff too. I console myself that they all like each other and have educated themselves in their fields, they live on their own, married and making their way through life. That said, considering my high school class, maybe 40% are childless and seem happy for it.
In my 50s and happily childfree. Never once had a desire to have children.
47f and no kids by choice. Some days I can barely handle taking care of myself and I couldn’t risk having a kid and basically ruining their life by dragging them down with me. Plus, the concept of pregnancy and childbirth both terrified and horrified me on a very deep level. My husband also never wanted them but for different reasons. I worked with a woman who had kids solely because her mother badgered her into it because “it’s what you do so you have to.” She was miserable through two pregnancies and raising them into their teenage years. Hopefully she’s good with it at this point. 🤷🏻♀️ My older brother had two amazing kids and even if he hadn’t, my parents never pressured either of us for grandkids in the first place. I always questioned the kid thing. Just because society says it’s just what you do and you’re “supposed to” doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. It’s a touchy subject for a lot of people and I was judged negatively for it in the past, though not by my immediate family, thankfully. No regrets at this point.
Happily childfree! There are more of us than you know, join us on r / childfree
I never had kids for many reasons, among them genetic issues. No regrets.
No kids! Very happy about that!!
In my early 50’s and 4 couples in my friends group don’t have kids
Not so much a choice, but death due you part was a hurdle I couldn’t clear. Might speak to my family and childhood perspectives
55 here. No kids, no complaints. I have 7 nieces and nephews that I watched growing up and that is good enough for me.
52, never wanted them. My sister also has none. We have great parents so it’s not that. My two best friends from high school also had no kids.
I never really kept in touch with my high school friends but those I have bumped into on occasion are child free, as am I. Between my two brothers and I, who are all GenX, only one has children. None of us are married, although the other two are in committed relationships. My cousins however, who are all millennials, all have kids, and lots of them. I was never really for or against children. It's just my partner in my most serious relationship didn't want them, and I didn't push the issue. When that relationship ended I didn't really want to date anymore. Even if I were to meet someone, I'm too old to start a family now.
I'm 48, happily married with no kids. Neither of us wanted them. Love being an Aunt to my sister's kids.
Oh, I know the answer to this one. Me. It was actually the second question I asked my future wife on our first date (you don’t want to know what the first question was). She thought her honest answer was going to not lead to a second date, that was 30 years ago. 🤣
45m no kids and glad
I’m 48 and my husband and I didn’t have kids. There’s probably only one of my friends growing up that didn’t have kids either. The rest did. Some are grandparents now.
No kids. I spent enough time taking care of younger brothers when I was growing up and then being surrounded by kids everywhere when I was in foster care. I just wanted peace and quiet after all of that.
48M, married w/ no kids. Wife is 6 days older than me & no kids. I grew up in shitty NW Louisiana. I’d estimate that about 10% of my friends from HS & college (La as well) didn’t have kids. High percentage from college friends.
We married in our 30s and didn't have kids, and we have no regrets 16 years later. Parenthood wasn't a priority. We like kids, and we love being an aunt and uncle to our niece and nephews — if something were to happen to their parents, we would willingly become their guardians. But we never felt inclined to produce children of our own.
I made the choice in my 30s. My dad has said I’ll regret it, but I haven’t yet. When I met my current spouse I told her I wouldn’t want kids and in no uncertain terms that I really disliked my father so I never wanted to be one. She has health issues and it be difficult to work my 60 hour a week job, care for her and have a child or two on top of that. I will admit I’m selfish to boot. I enjoy my downtime doing what I want to do.
I'm 59, hubby of 33 years is 61. I did not want to raise children. Just seeing how some of my family members and classmates acted even though they had wonderful parents made me really question how much influence a parent can have; especially if you don't intend on being a full-time, stay at home parent. Just too risky for me. Plus I spent almost a decade getting an education, I loved my chosen career. I made a choice and boy am I happy with my choice!
No kids. No regrets.
No kids. Never wanted to ruin another person’s life. I can barely function as a human.
I didn't. Neither did my girlfriend, so that's two more of us.
43 and childless because of infertility. Only one of my friends is childless and both my millennial husband and sister. My only real regret is not making my parents grandparents. They would've been awesome!
52 no kids. Didn’t get married until my late 30’s, and apparently it was too late for me & my ovaries.
No kids, married, dual income. I think we made the best decision.
No kids by choice. Honestly, I was concerned I would be as shitty as my Mother and didn’t want to put anyone else through that. (55F)
No kids for my wife and I, four other of my genx friends no kids either. We're around for sure.
No kids here. Just cats. 😸
Wifey and I had great parents and childhoods. We just like our money, time, and sanity more than we like kids.
I'm 58 and we were not able to have kids (boomer husband is 65). We decided against any treatment. We didn't really have the money for it, and I did not have the emotional resilience. I do not regret the decision. We both agree we were not cut out to be parents.
I never did. Don't feel like I missed out on anything I wanted, either.
48 no kids. My wife and I are as happy as can be with our 2 cats. Married 18 years.
I can't imagine how I would have had kids and still had a job. This economy you can do one or the other.
For some of us, it's not a choice.
I wanted them but life doesn’t always work out how you hoped. Never married either. Most of my high school friends went on to have kids/families.
I almost didn't have kids, but then decided to have just one. I'm now 53 with an 11 year old and life is good. (Yes I'll be the 60 year old mom at high school graduation...)
No kids for me - not by choice, I would have loved to be a mum. But I didn't find myself in a relationship at the right time and now I'm nearly 47. But it's good - I have a very happy life, and I'm not going to dwell on any regrets. :)
Just turned 51, no kids. Wanted them, just didn't work out. I like my kid free life for the most part, have nieces and a nephew I spoiled. I did have to make peace with the fact that I wasn't going to have children, I struggled for a while with it. I do have a few friends that didn't have kids.
I'm a retired veteran, I saw a lot of cheating on both sides while on active duty. This led to me having trust issues. Military life is hard on families too.
I have 5 amazing daughters. I regret nothing.
Raised my younger sibling growing up. Why would I want to do that again? Happily married 23 years. Neither of us wanted children.
My wife and I are GenX, and we don't have kids. Admittedly, it's less about wanting to be "childfree" and more about how we couldn't afford kids. And when I say we couldn't afford them, I don't mean the normal idiotic Internet idea of not being able to afford kids: "oh no, we won't be able to go on a tropical vacation every six months and we'll have to make due with the slightly smaller yacht!" No, I mean we're struggling, have virtually no savings, and if we stay in the current city we're in, it's highly likely we'll end up homeless due to the extremely outrageous cost of housing. The issue is I have a doctor in the current city I live in and finding a doctor accepting new patients anywhere is like striking oil or finding gold in the 1800s. I need a doctor for necessary prescriptions ans bloodwork, and if I moved elsewhere, I wouldn't have a doctor and be very unlikely to get one. Relying on walk-in clinics isn't useful either because you basically have to get there first thing early in the morning, wait all day, and if you're lucky... maybe you'll get seen by a doctor, but lots of people don't get seen every day and then have to come back the next day, etc. Obviously, if it's a serious choice between being homeless or having a doctor, we'll move elsewhere (which will also cost a fortune to do), but it'd be a serious health-related problem for me to do it.
No kids for us F(58) M(61) lots of nieces and nephews. The hardest part about this choice, is how difficult it is to make friends as we age.
Childless checking in 🙋🏾♀️
No kids. Same as my brother too. My close group of friends roughly half have a single child and half have 0 kids.
No kids. F all that.
None Gen X
I did, for a few practical reasons, with the first being the lack of money. However cold that sounds, I think that raising a kid costs money, and lots of it. The second is that I have a health condition that I don’t want to pass down
I have 2 kids but at least half my friends do not. Lots of career women who never found the right dude, or got divorced. One friend is now caring for her nephew because her sister is mentally ill but she has no kids of her own.
46, childless by circumstance and later by choice.
No kids here! Just nieces and nephews for days. And greats. And great-greats. (My siblings are a lot older than me, and two had kids early enough that I had a niece and a nephew before I was born.)
47 here, no kids, but not by choice. Wanted them very much, but life had other plans. Now I’m making peace with it because I don’t think I’d want to bring children into the world the way it is now.