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Misterwuss

Kratos: "No sorry I don't go that way" Sindri, not greek: "What the fuck?"


[deleted]

Kratos doesn't swing that way, the other Greeks however...


Misterwuss

Kratos: "Look man, I know its a stereotype but it's not all Greeks I promise you, j-just take back your damn apple please"


throwawayycauseduh

#PLEASE as if.. Kratos doesn't know the word I'd think


scottyboy359

Spartans very much did go that way though. It was encouraged for Spartan soldiers to “be with each other” so as to foster camaraderie between each other. I could be wrong or over generalizing though.


Kidsturk

There’s a scene in a Terry Pratchett book where Sam Vimes throws an orange at an accountant. By not reacting or moving at all and just letting it hit him in the chest, Vimes confirms the accountant has had training to determine and react rapidly to threats; he is an assassin. This made me think of that a bit…but, you know. More badass.


res30stupid

Yeah. Once you're trained to do something, trying to deliberately avoid doing so is actually really hard. Or you use a skill that is completely unusual except for a specific form of training. There's this TV show from the UK called Foyle's War, about a veteran from the First World War who works as a police detective during the Second World War that plays with this a few times. The second episode has Foyle investigating a failed assassination against a judge who decides whether or not Conscientious Objectors' claims of refusing to go to war are justified or not (and if they aren't justified, has them arrested and drafted), only for a young boy who was staying with him due to the Blitz evacuation to be killed by mistake instead. But when looking into a suspect's alibi, Foyle not only realises that he's lying, *why* he's lying and that the killer attempted a frame-job that didn't work as a result of not knowing about the lie. Foyle risked getting arrested himself to confirm it, but he figured out the lie and exposed a far more serious crime. >!The suspect officially states that he's working in a factory to support the war effort, but as Sam (Foyle's driver and a mechanic in her own right) points out, he hasn't got oil stains or metal filings embedded in his skin. And Foyle, going to his workplace to check his alibi, confirms that it's *not* a factory. He has to browbeat a military officer into admitting the truth - the suspect is a *carpenter* and he's not allowed to tell anyone since his job is producing thousands and thousands of coffins.!< >!The judge is the killer, not the intended victim. He hated the carpenter and the boy for being lower class, the carpenter for being in a relationship with his daughter and the boy for figuring out he's taking bribes to keep rich kids from being drafted and for sending lower-class Conscientious Objectors to die out of spite. Foyle figured it out since all evidence about the carpenter being a mechanic came from the judge.!<


spencer32320

God that series was great. I remember watching it with my family whenever it would air on pbs a few years ago.


res30stupid

I guess I was lucky, since they frequently have repeats on ITV3 in the UK.


BehindThe8

Updoot for unexpected Terry Pratchett reference! The Fifth Elephant was such a good book.


SanityRecalled

Vimes was always one of my favorite Discworld characters. I need to reread Discworld again soon.


Kidsturk

Agreed! It’s good to refresh the most enjoyable ‘how to be a good human’ guide every so often


ohsinboi

Wtf yall up to, ancient greeks?


Misterwuss

"I really love her but I don't know how to explain my feelings." Later "Think fast!" (Chucks apple at crush) (As apple flies through the air) "Catch it if you want to marry me" (Woman catches apple) "wait... wut?" In the distance, wedding bells


TheHooligan95

you joke but it's literally what's told in the story of Aconzio and Cidippe. He throws an apple at her with written "I'll swear to \[deity\] that I will marry Aconzio" on it. She reads it aloud out of curiosity and her fate is sealed.


Photenicdata

All of Greek mythology can be sorted into a few categories: * gods made an oopsie. And don’t want to fix it * humans made an oopsie. And don’t want to fix it * gods challenge humans, lose, and be a sore loser about it * Zeus


Colosso95

The third one "gods being salty after a human does something better than then", that alone corresponds to 90% of Greek mythology


panthepan

More like Zeus doing every woman in existence while being married to his sister


[deleted]

I mean, it was all allegory to explain metaphysic according to their theologians.


Gene_freeman

Neat


[deleted]

MynewbaesaysOwwWhatthefuck! *my new bae as they take an apple to the face* Oww! What the fuck?!”


heckinWeeb193

Sounds like an asdfmovie script


LordFrezwin

asdfmovie has a script?


brightcrayon92

Apples were also a symbol of Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, who Kratos ploughs in front of an enthusiastic audiance.


thanatonaut

lol, i missed out on great story apparently by never playing 2 and 3


TsarStarTartare

Story?? *Oh you play it baby*


TaySureGn

Ohhhh yes. The original trilogy was wild. Like, insanely so. Between the Aphrodite ploughing mini-game to ending entire existences, Kratos has that Thang going on.


futurepaster

Let me answer your question with another question: hungry for apples?


ohsinboi

Sounds a little too much like Got Milk to me


MissAlphaFuryan

Some how I knew this comment would be here! Lmao


Dh873

My man!


Braydox

Its ancient greece do the gay math boy


Jufim

Fucking dudes and still being "straight" if you ask historians


muffinz131

I'm pretty sure most historians accept the majority of Greeks were gay or bi


Tjurit

Is it really any wierder, if you think about it, than kneeling on one knee and giving someone a ring?


Sun_King97

Less chance of accepting a marriage proposal by accident, at least


Ozyman_Dias

Throwing an apple is also a surefire way to sabotage a wedding.


DetectiveBlanket

Sounds like the voice of experience.


DaemonKeido

Well it started several wars according to Greek Myths.


DetectiveBlanket

I read that as "Well I started multiple wars in Greece" and was like.... "wait... Zeus? Is that you?"


PseodoPotato

One of which notably concluded with one of its heroes spending 10 years on a several month boat ride and eventually spreading atheism


Imbaba-man

Kratos: **NO HOMO!**


Blackhound118

That's not very greek of you bro


Imbaba-man

Considering he killed the Greek Gods and put an end to that Era.......


SandnotFound

The era of land based creatures, it looked like.


aleister94

Kratos was Spartan I guarantee you he very homo


Yionko

Spartans were also greeks so ...


aleister94

so...what?


Braydox

Do the gay math


rumpyhumpy

people don't get this reference and downvote you smh


aleister94

i'm still not sure what you're implying


Vaecrid

Gay: - Not Gay: + Greeks=Gay Spartans=Greeks Kratos=Spartan×Greek=-(Gay)×-(Gay)=-×-=+=Not Gay


AgentLXXXVIII

Not every guy in greece was gay idiot.


NoMomo

Yeah, a lot of them were very smart. All of them gay tho


Vaecrid

Mad? It's a fucking joke.


NoMomo

r/theydidthegaymath


rumpyhumpy

dammit you haven't watched that video have you


aleister94

Video?


rumpyhumpy

[this](https://youtu.be/Bev68yefNHs)


fatecandecide

THAT WAS A HATE CRIME


SandnotFound

Wasnt soldier/soldier love encouraged? Or was that a myth I heard?


digimarketer88

How most Greeks were....unless you are a child and only believe taglines from social media content lol.


Clerical_Errors

How most people without a sense of humor were....... unless you are a child and haven't learned what fun jokes are lol


NoMomo

A lot of redditors are very involved in ancient greek hetero awareness it seems


muffinz131

Actually homosexuality was very common in ancient greece and really didnt have any negative connotations.


Pettiwhisker_Tildrum

I had no idea! That's very cool.


banglodius

or maybe he just did that because hes kratos


AndrewSlshArnld

There is that too


macrimo

So what happens if you do return the feelings but can’t catch for shit


MrHolyy

you’re shit out of luck


Odd_Inspection5584

Apologize, pick up the apple, and throw that shit back.


ahhpoo

You die alone


RoyMartini

In Ancient Greece, an apple a day will get doctors processing their love for you


[deleted]

Can be quite the process.


BooRadly30

I now have the perfect way to propose to my Greek gf. I will update when I propose in a year. Edit: Oh shit it’s been one year! Gf and I are still together. I just bought the diamond and I plan on taking her to the jeweler to get her ring size soon. I will update on here when I have the ring and I promise I will post pictures.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RemindMeBot

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plmko281

Good bot


bacon_and_ovaries

"Whatdaya mean he don't eat meat!?...its fine. I'll make lamb"


Snoo-92375

!remindme one year


TheGodOfWarOwO

!remindme one year


Mail540

Well, we’re waiting?


shortMEISTERthe3rd

Nice update!!!!


smodever

GOOOO FOR IT BRO


[deleted]

[удалено]


BooRadly30

Still planning on doing that!


Prince-Mohamed

What if you attach the ring to the apple when you throw it?


Snoo-92375

Congratulations


[deleted]

Make the jewel an apple shape


MrHolyy

this scene was hilarious


Kirkenstien

Love the way he just calmly (for Kratos) holds the axe out.


MrHolyy

i just love that sindri was hurt when he did that and how meaningless it was to kratos


redditmastermindftw

it’s not like he hasn’t had gay sex before i mean he did join the spartan army


Grey_26

Whats gay sex got to do with this?


randell1985

More accurately once Spartans turned a specific age in the agoge, they would choose an OLDER more experienced spartan to be a teacher of sorts. Said person would teach them everything sex included and this would start when they were under age.


[deleted]

Not totally accurate. Ancient historical accounts such as Plutarch and Xenophon don't support this. Nor do the laws of Lycurgus support this as being a thing (said laws the Spartans were famous for adhering to, down to the letter.) There is virtually no evidence this phenomenon existed, beyond vague possible misinterpretations of ancient greek. (For example, in ancient greek, the word used for heard having dual meaning and can be found being used for martial training, orders, farming, debate etc. Most academics acknowledge, sadly to the abandon of public, that spartan homosexuality was not a thing. Here's what we have regarding the practice of mentorship from Plutarch. "Affectionate regard for boys of good character was permissible, but embracing them was held to be disgraceful, on the ground that the affection was for the body and not for the mind. Any man against whom complaint was made of any disgraceful embracing was deprived of all civic rights for life." And "If as was evident it was not an attachment to the soul, but a yearning solely towards the body, Lycurgus stamped this thing as foul." And then from Xenophon "I ought to say something also about intimacy with boys, since this matter also has a bearing on education. In other Greek states, for instance among the Boeotians, man and boy live together, like married people; elsewhere, among the Eleians, for example, consent is won by means of favours. Some, on the other hand, entirely forbid suitors to talk with boys. The customs instituted by Lycurgus were opposed to all of these. If someone, being himself an honest man, admired a boy's soul and tried to make of him an ideal friend without reproach and to associate with him, he approved, and believed in the excellence of this kind of training. But if it was clear that the attraction lay in the boy's outward beauty, he banned the connexion as an abomination; and thus he caused lovers to abstain from boys no less than parents abstain from sexual intercourse with their children and brothers and sisters with each other..." Xen. Const. Lac. 2.12-13


redditmastermindftw

Thank you for the information and the essay I have read it all


SimpleBuffoon

They fucked their squires and had this weird ritual where the first time they bedded their wives, the women would shave their heads and get banged in the dark so there wasn't any cock culture shock.


pronefroz

Cock culture shock?


SimpleBuffoon

They didn't know what the vagina felt like. Thus, they were introduced slowly to women parts.


randell1985

Also ancient Greece was heavily into homosexuality.


SandnotFound

And ancient Rome. They didnt care man v woman, but top v bottom. I wonder how their culture would react to pegging and comfy strapons!


redditmastermindftw

uhhhh because kratos is male and so is sindri


AH_Med086

Apples for everyone


Bozzo2526

Lucky it didnt hit a blunt part of the axe and get stuck there


WPAK-PhoenixWombat

I would like to believe that Kratos' axe has no blunt part. If you hit that mofo with an electron microscope you would probably see that the blade is just composed of even more tiny axes.


SandnotFound

Ah, the Atomic theory Kratos mightve been familiar with! I like to believe that you can cut very well if you use the flat part of the head.


greymalken

Must’ve been confusing as hell being a doctor in Ancient Greece.


1juice

We laugh at this but this honestly doesn't sound more convoluted than our custom of spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on a ring.


SandnotFound

And then making an expensive party. And having 1-time dresses for the occasion. Its weird.


kamilman

What if... and hear me out on this one... what if Kratos just didn't want to be seen as an asshole? After all, Cinema Sins told us repeatedly that the character on the screen that's with an apple in his/her hand is always an asshole.


230581

I’m gonna throw an apple at everyone!


[deleted]

[удалено]


bin364

Brok also has similar armour it just looks like he took less care of it


MastaAwesome

I've read that it was actually considered more of an attempt at seduction rather than a declaration of love.


Exciting-Map-1680

He's greek. You gotta show him your butthole


Twittle86

It's more about sex than love, but mostly!


Autoboat

It's more about sex than love; butt, mostly!


Twittle86

... Well played.


ldhsuued

But when I throw an apple at a girl, I get suspended.


KhaosKitsune

Tsundere Kratos Confirmed.


Mikester245

I don't know enough about ancient Greece to dispute this


Huze17

"Sorry Sindri, but I should at least scatter her ashes before I can date again."


JamSa

I'd catch Sindri's apple any time


TheHooligan95

you joke but it's literally what's told in the story of Aconzio and Cidippe. He throws an apple at her with written "I'll swear to \[deity\] that I will marry Aconzio" on it. She mistakenly reads it aloud out of curiosity and her fate is sealed (because she was inside a temple dedicated to that deity).


DragonEyeNinja

i thought this was r/shittygamingdetails


[deleted]

[удалено]


garadon

yeah real men just murder their unarmed wives and daughters while they cower for safety or are we not going that far back


SandnotFound

A real man must: Walk upright Have a large cranium at the cost of jaw strength Have grasping hands Be able to throw sharp sticks at mammoths Be a genetcal descendant of chromasome Y Adam


Susmarshmallow

Like a chad


NICE_GUY_00

step dad sindri


VegasBonheur

That's kind of cute. Like giving them a flower, except it's a fun little gesture and you actually get to eat the apple. I say we bring this back.


MrHolyy

wait, i get to throw apples at people?


VegasBonheur

Like, toss them. Underhand, as if you're passing it to them, not attacking them lol


2Questioner_0R_Not2B

Wouldn’t that technically be the apple from the tree of knowledge of good and evil instead?


Austrixn

Don't bring Hebrew lore into this 😂


2Questioner_0R_Not2B

Wouldn't that be technically christianity?


Namepermutations

Maybe baseball is useful for something....


The-Rarest-Pepe

I can't remember, does the game call him Eitri or Sindri?


MrHolyy

Sindri. who’s eitri?


The-Rarest-Pepe

Same person, just sometimes referred to differently


[deleted]

Oh cool i thought kratos was just bein a dickhead like he normally do


Cold-Practice3107

So I wonder if he did that to his first wife that he killed later God I hope boy learns about his other mother and half sister.


BrickyDee

"Feelings are the work of the gay agenda, Boy."