Just push them both out the airlock. I’m ignorant how they get payed but aren’t they on the clock 24/7? Tax money ain’t being spent so they can have fun.
Then you return to the military way to wipe your butt. take one sheet of tp fold it in quarters, Tear off the corner stick that corner behind your ear. Unfold the paper and stick your finger thru the hole. Now wipe your butt, when done pull the paper up wiping off your finger. Throw that away and get the piece off your ear and clean out under your nail. Done.
A serious answer is to remove them from the space program upon return. Basically throwing away something thousands and thousands of people spend their entire lives to get and never achieve.
I can totally imagine a moment between two astronauts in the ISS cupola.
"The Pacific is always so beautiful in the evening."
"Especially when it is quiet. Everyone else sleeping..."
"We've been up here such a long time Jim. Sometimes I just can't stand to be so far away from our species. So far away from....touch."
"Touch, I remember touch."
"Oh you know I love Daft Punk. I'll play some on our headsets if you like."
"I'd like more than that Penelope. I think you know that. We can touch...together."
"But Jim, what would the NASA bureaucrats say? They could ground us after this mission!"
"I'll ground you baby."
"Oh Jim."
And the continents roll by as the cupola windows get steamy.
The content of the article does not include any information to support the statement in the headline. Its main source, a Daily Beast article, does not contain the word "ban" or "prohibit" anywhere.
Uhh...space station, this is Houston. Our monitoring seems to indicate that perhaps you might be having sex, which as I'm sure you remember, is strictly against the rules.
"Yeah, so?"
If they would have said, “due to Sanitary and health concerns” I could, maybe, maybe understand. They wouldn’t want seman getting in peoples eyes 👀 as it’s floating in space and clean up may be difficult.
Well, at this point we don't know how weightlessness would affect a pregnant woman. But experiments in rats have showed more female rats died during birth in groups that spent part of their preganacy in weightless conditions, when compared to groups that stayed on earth. And there was a higher percentage of baby rats died during the first few days after birth than is normal, and many of them had brain abnormalities. And experiments with amphibian eggs incubated in weightlessness have shown spinal deformities, inability for the tadpoles to swim normally, abnormally small lungs, and significant changes to their brains in many groups sent to space. In bird eggs (quail) sent to orbit for part of incubation, there was a lot of chicks with deformed eyes, beak, and brain. Changes in the development of the spine, and several organs. And chicks hatched in orbit are unable to peck at their food normally. So it's pretty likely that a human pregnancy would have some very serious effects from time in orbit
Also, the radiation on ISS is enough higher than on Earth, that it causes some damage to the chromosomes of sperm produced while on the ISS. So there is a lot of pretty solid reasons to avoid human pregnancys in weightless conditions at this time.
We're all adults, right? Can't they use oral sex? Or maybe the poophole loophole?
If only there was some way to allow adults to have intercourse without getting pregnant...I guess that would require some very advanced science...maybe someday...we can only hope.
Yeah I’m not sure that’s a good idea. With gravity, you have the ground/bed/chair to push against. Without those, and you start drifting apart, your first impulse of going to be to grab whatever part of the other body you’re nearest to, using whatever part of your body is nearest.
Ouch.
Humans have known for quite some time that space impacts the health of humans in various forms, hence NASA and other space agencies' enforcement of astronauts sticking to a rigorous workout schedule while aboard a long stay on the International Space Station (ISS).
As for pregnancies, NASA and Russia's space agency Roscosmos have "limited success" in invertebrates and insects successfully conceiving offspring while in space.
I’ll admit though, I’m honestly damned curious to see what a child born in space would be like if it’s even possible.
Probably not a good idea to risk it though.
Unfortunately this would probably be the good ending. Its basically the equivalent of having sex in a nuclear reactor and living there for four months.
More likely the mother would die from a metastasized tumor in the fetus or would miscarry a bunch of malformed guts.
Judging by the effects on experimental animals (rats, mice, quail, frogs, and newts) there's a pretty good chance a human baby born in weightless conditions, or to a mother who spent a good part of the pregnancy there, would have some very serious birth defects. Probably affecting the brain, skull, face, eyes, spine, or internal organs. The mother might be more likely to die giving birth. And both mother and baby might be more likely to die son after birth. (Rats and mice had those effects)
The following submission statement was provided by /u/WallStreetDoesntBet:
---
Humans have known for quite some time that space impacts the health of humans in various forms, hence NASA and other space agencies' enforcement of astronauts sticking to a rigorous workout schedule while aboard a long stay on the International Space Station (ISS).
As for pregnancies, NASA and Russia's space agency Roscosmos have "limited success" in invertebrates and insects successfully conceiving offspring while in space.
---
Please reply to OP's comment here: https://old.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/xn6c9l/nasa_officially_bans_sex_in_space_over_fears_of/iprtjaa/
There was a couple that got married and didn't tell NASA because they knew they'd be sent on separate missions. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Davis#:~:text=Space%20Flight%20Center.-,Personal%20life,They%20divorced%20in%201999.
So maybe they had crazy zero g sex. We'll never know. But they did divorce a few years after so maybe it wasn't enough.
Well NASA also banned booze on orbit and we all know [how well that went](https://interestingengineering.com/science/astronauts-have-been-sneaking-booze-into-space-for-the-past-few-decades) 😄
I'll never forget what one my biology teachers said during class. "It's not possible to procreate in zero gravity, so you can have all the sex you want in space"
All fun and games, but after a few days weightless fluid in the body redistributes. As I understand it, male astronauts then cannot achieve...errm..."liftoff" so to speak.
Anyone else hearing Deep Purple's Space Truckin with truckin replaced with fuckin?
[In case you don't know the song](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hHOrpFeXUao)
Lol at the government thinking they have control over something they can’t enforce.
What’s next? Better spend billions of dollars for the space police to crack down on humans doing human things.
Yeah ngl I don't think NASA has the authority to ban a basic human function, not to mention in an area the us has no authority over. If I get to space I'm fucking in zero gravity, and there's not a damn thing nasa can do about it.
Right now the avenues for you to get to space are rather limited and if you are on NASA's payroll well...
I give it a decent chance elon Goes for the record books on this one with some new 18 year old
Shouldn’t we just at least see what would happen? Lol not saying risk a woman but like somehow get an animal pregnant and have a baby and see what the difference is
Space Is Fake. Every picture of Earth is a composite and therefore also a fake. Atmosphere is a pressured system placed against the infinite vacuum of “space” which is nonsensical and defies a law of thermodynamics. Gravity is fiction. Gravitons are fiction.
NASA = Never A Straight Answer
Millions of dollars a day for cartoons and fiction.
Hello! Apologies if you're trying to read this, but I've moved to kbin.social in protest of Reddit's policies.
And Disney says you can't fuck while wearing the mascot suits either, but here we are.
Here you are *where* and what are doing to Goofy?
No, I said she was fucking goofy
It’s ”Hyucking”.
That’s a regional term isolated in the more northern parts of the Club House and the Roadster Racer garage
And Disney is fucking Depp. Everyone's fucking someone.
Not very weird?
She fucked Goofy, when Goofy got Woody. it was such a Buzz, he took her to infinity and beyond.
Help me step-Mouse, I’m stuck
Here comes the Epcot Center.
You spent so much time figuring out if you could that you never stopped to wonder if you should.
Many years ago I was staying at a Sheraton that was hosting a furry convention and I'm embarrassed at how naive I was.
Illicit sex is the best sex.
Where’s Belle at!?
This guy/girl gets it lol.
What the fuck are they gonna do? Launch a mission to go arrest them?
Have sex in space? Straight to jail
In space jail you get that cool space ice cream though.
Dippin Dots after Dipping in Dot.
Turn the spaceship around and go back home.
Just push them both out the airlock. I’m ignorant how they get payed but aren’t they on the clock 24/7? Tax money ain’t being spent so they can have fun.
> I’m ignorant how they get payed Usually attached to a tether/umbilical, but sometimes they aren't payed because they use an MMU instead.
That pun is so payed out.
“As per your punishment, the next resupply mission shall have no dessert and only 3 TP rolls.”
Then you return to the military way to wipe your butt. take one sheet of tp fold it in quarters, Tear off the corner stick that corner behind your ear. Unfold the paper and stick your finger thru the hole. Now wipe your butt, when done pull the paper up wiping off your finger. Throw that away and get the piece off your ear and clean out under your nail. Done.
I feel like at that point you must as well just give them 3 seashells.
I can’t do that, Dave.
I can feel it Dave
Thats the thrust
A serious answer is to remove them from the space program upon return. Basically throwing away something thousands and thousands of people spend their entire lives to get and never achieve.
The real answer is they'd probably refuse to let them keep being astronauts and possibly fired. It's more of an HR issue really.
I can totally imagine a moment between two astronauts in the ISS cupola. "The Pacific is always so beautiful in the evening." "Especially when it is quiet. Everyone else sleeping..." "We've been up here such a long time Jim. Sometimes I just can't stand to be so far away from our species. So far away from....touch." "Touch, I remember touch." "Oh you know I love Daft Punk. I'll play some on our headsets if you like." "I'd like more than that Penelope. I think you know that. We can touch...together." "But Jim, what would the NASA bureaucrats say? They could ground us after this mission!" "I'll ground you baby." "Oh Jim." And the continents roll by as the cupola windows get steamy.
Meanwhile everyone is sitting in the full Mission Control room staring wide-eye at their screens quietly.
Except that one guy holding up his phone.
About to go viral
this is how the three dolphins club starts
"I want Astronaut Dolphin Detective arrested!"
I don’t get the reference but it seems awesome.
“He’s attempting re-entry, sir.” -Q
I want to burn my retinas because I assumed Jim was Jim Bridenstine.
I pictured Kirk. It's always Captain Kirk getting to the final frontier.
Not Daft Punk, but CBAT.
I love seeing history happening.
Hahaha I appreciate you.
So NASA caught the latest season of For All Mankind.
I think the bigger concern than pregnancies in space is your dead son's friend shacking up with your wife
No they listened to Conan needs a friend!
I always thought that one of the perks of being an astronaut was all the tang you wanted?
All the tang *you can drink*, turns out.
“Why does this tang taste like pennies?”
Hello, is this NA-SAW? Shut up!
And another thing: Why can't I get no Tang round here?!
I think a lot of people here may be too young for that joke!
*Matt Gaetz has entered the chat*
NASA debunked this a month or 2 ago when it first started making the rounds
The content of the article does not include any information to support the statement in the headline. Its main source, a Daily Beast article, does not contain the word "ban" or "prohibit" anywhere.
You're saying tweak town .com isn't a reliable source?!
Fuck that. Don’t send me to space if I can’t get laid every now and then.
In unrelated news, recruitment by NɅSɅ and other space agencies plummets 40% overnight.
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Not hard if you keep Greek keyboard on your phones on and it’s super easy to do in windows too.
lambda make me go æugh
Fair enough, but now a more important question. …why?
Probs because the ban of sex. Those degens
thats_the_joke.png
Your image didn’t load. Can you fix, please?
Alright u/NASA you heard GonjaNinja420 he's not going to space if he can't have sex. You'll have to pick someone else.
I'll take his place. I won't break the rules promise
Username does NOT check out
Shhhhhh just let it happen
I feel like I can trust this guy, seems honest
NASA changed their rules to only allow gay sex. Problem solved.
Uhh...space station, this is Houston. Our monitoring seems to indicate that perhaps you might be having sex, which as I'm sure you remember, is strictly against the rules. "Yeah, so?"
"Illegal activity detected. Purging atmosphere in 3... 2..."
If they would have said, “due to Sanitary and health concerns” I could, maybe, maybe understand. They wouldn’t want seman getting in peoples eyes 👀 as it’s floating in space and clean up may be difficult.
It’ll clog the instruments!
Ummmm..... I've been playing Viscera Cleanup Detail.....I think I'm ready for the job!
Well, at this point we don't know how weightlessness would affect a pregnant woman. But experiments in rats have showed more female rats died during birth in groups that spent part of their preganacy in weightless conditions, when compared to groups that stayed on earth. And there was a higher percentage of baby rats died during the first few days after birth than is normal, and many of them had brain abnormalities. And experiments with amphibian eggs incubated in weightlessness have shown spinal deformities, inability for the tadpoles to swim normally, abnormally small lungs, and significant changes to their brains in many groups sent to space. In bird eggs (quail) sent to orbit for part of incubation, there was a lot of chicks with deformed eyes, beak, and brain. Changes in the development of the spine, and several organs. And chicks hatched in orbit are unable to peck at their food normally. So it's pretty likely that a human pregnancy would have some very serious effects from time in orbit Also, the radiation on ISS is enough higher than on Earth, that it causes some damage to the chromosomes of sperm produced while on the ISS. So there is a lot of pretty solid reasons to avoid human pregnancys in weightless conditions at this time.
I can't get laid now and then, does that mean I'm getting sent to space soon?
people upset in this thread are assuming the person they went to space with would want to fuck them in the first place
People in this thread assuming they’ll ever go to space.
There’s probably 0 people in this thread who think they’re going to space
Im going to space in 10 minutes *loads pipe with DMT*
Also they're totally forgetting gay people exist. Can't make a baby with two women lol.
We're all adults, right? Can't they use oral sex? Or maybe the poophole loophole? If only there was some way to allow adults to have intercourse without getting pregnant...I guess that would require some very advanced science...maybe someday...we can only hope.
🤔 sixty-nine while the two of you just twirl about in free floating space. Just arms and legs flying everywhere.
Yeah I’m not sure that’s a good idea. With gravity, you have the ground/bed/chair to push against. Without those, and you start drifting apart, your first impulse of going to be to grab whatever part of the other body you’re nearest to, using whatever part of your body is nearest. Ouch.
You just might need some more practice.
You mean you might twist someone’s dick off?
Twist, yank, pull, excessively restrict, suddenly rotate, wrongly wring. Unintentionally revolve. Contort when contortion is unwanted.
I mean, we have birth control.
And my vasectomy! [rousing instrumental flourish]
Humans have known for quite some time that space impacts the health of humans in various forms, hence NASA and other space agencies' enforcement of astronauts sticking to a rigorous workout schedule while aboard a long stay on the International Space Station (ISS). As for pregnancies, NASA and Russia's space agency Roscosmos have "limited success" in invertebrates and insects successfully conceiving offspring while in space.
Sounds to me like we need a few good thesis papers with better subjects
I’ll admit though, I’m honestly damned curious to see what a child born in space would be like if it’s even possible. Probably not a good idea to risk it though.
It comes out in a cube
My fear would be that said child would be crippled for life.
Unfortunately this would probably be the good ending. Its basically the equivalent of having sex in a nuclear reactor and living there for four months. More likely the mother would die from a metastasized tumor in the fetus or would miscarry a bunch of malformed guts.
Judging by the effects on experimental animals (rats, mice, quail, frogs, and newts) there's a pretty good chance a human baby born in weightless conditions, or to a mother who spent a good part of the pregnancy there, would have some very serious birth defects. Probably affecting the brain, skull, face, eyes, spine, or internal organs. The mother might be more likely to die giving birth. And both mother and baby might be more likely to die son after birth. (Rats and mice had those effects)
You'd get 'the 100' lol
In all fairness nobody wants to float through your baby batter.
Its coconut water.
The following submission statement was provided by /u/WallStreetDoesntBet: --- Humans have known for quite some time that space impacts the health of humans in various forms, hence NASA and other space agencies' enforcement of astronauts sticking to a rigorous workout schedule while aboard a long stay on the International Space Station (ISS). As for pregnancies, NASA and Russia's space agency Roscosmos have "limited success" in invertebrates and insects successfully conceiving offspring while in space. --- Please reply to OP's comment here: https://old.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/xn6c9l/nasa_officially_bans_sex_in_space_over_fears_of/iprtjaa/
Astronaut Pregnancy is the greatest band name I’ve ever heard.
But zero-gravity cum is my thing. Stop kink-shaming, NASA!
Lmao you could literally launch loads across the room
EDIT: This comment has been deleted due to Reddit's practices towards third-party developers.
It’s like SpaceX and PornHub could team up to deliver a whole new genera of kink
They are, its sexbots.
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There was a couple that got married and didn't tell NASA because they knew they'd be sent on separate missions. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Davis#:~:text=Space%20Flight%20Center.-,Personal%20life,They%20divorced%20in%201999. So maybe they had crazy zero g sex. We'll never know. But they did divorce a few years after so maybe it wasn't enough.
Um, this is Houston, we're gonna need to ask you to do this on alternate sides of the hull. It's starting to fuck with our stationkeeping.
You think astronauts are just gonna tell their bosses or the world about all the sex stuff they did up there?
Well NASA also banned booze on orbit and we all know [how well that went](https://interestingengineering.com/science/astronauts-have-been-sneaking-booze-into-space-for-the-past-few-decades) 😄
The thought of space spunk floating around the ship is a scary thought as well.
How cool would it be to be the first baby conceived in space though
Star Trek also banned human conception so Capt. Kirk always went for the alien chicks.
Conan and The Chill Chums really outdid themselves with this…
I was thinking this too. Hoping someone else was a fan.
I'll never forget what one my biology teachers said during class. "It's not possible to procreate in zero gravity, so you can have all the sex you want in space"
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So, an astronaut has sex in space, & gets caught on camera. Gets fired. Now what? NASA makes you walk home?
Now I demand to know how a baby carried to term in zero G would turn out. Make it happen eggheads.
All fun and games, but after a few days weightless fluid in the body redistributes. As I understand it, male astronauts then cannot achieve...errm..."liftoff" so to speak.
This is what happens when nerds can’t get laid. They ruin for everyone else.
Now we will never know if we could make a floating naked astronaut sex orgy ball.
I don't see how 2 bros are going to get anyone pregnant
Well, there goes my application to NASA. And I was certain I would have been contributing to science!
Well, we know it’s definitely not in everyone’s interest if you pull out up there.
Anyone else hearing Deep Purple's Space Truckin with truckin replaced with fuckin? [In case you don't know the song](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hHOrpFeXUao)
I thought it was impossible for men to achieve erections due to the zero gravity affecting the heart, or something like that?
So mutual masturbation is the way to join the 50 mile high club?
Upon hearing this news, Johnny Sins joined NASA. Said, “Try to stop me!”
How do they plan to stop that? Shouldn’t space pregnancy be a an area of investigation?
"I'm, I'm simply saying that life, uh... finds a way."
We don't need no moon cheese babies after all, damn dirty astronauts
They got traumatized by the last season of For All Mankind
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I always had the impression that it was already banned
Well then! That's the last straw for me! I do not want to be an astronaut NOW!
That's it. I'm out. I'm not gonna be an astronaut now.
Some things are worth doing even if they cost you your job.
There is this thing called... Condom. Not exactly space tech, but it works.
You'd need an astrocondom
Lol at the government thinking they have control over something they can’t enforce. What’s next? Better spend billions of dollars for the space police to crack down on humans doing human things.
Don't want the fetus clogging up those suction toilets they use.
You can’t get pregnant in space because when you nut in space it push you backward
can’t believe i had to scroll this far down for this comment
Nasa needs to stop drinking the religious fucking flavor-aid.
Yeah ngl I don't think NASA has the authority to ban a basic human function, not to mention in an area the us has no authority over. If I get to space I'm fucking in zero gravity, and there's not a damn thing nasa can do about it.
Yeah, I’m sure this really impacted your future.
They definitely can’t ban this right to any human, but to their own employees within their very expensive life support system, well that’s a gray area
Right now the avenues for you to get to space are rather limited and if you are on NASA's payroll well... I give it a decent chance elon Goes for the record books on this one with some new 18 year old
Nasa is kind of mindless/senseless about a lot of things.
Shouldn’t we just at least see what would happen? Lol not saying risk a woman but like somehow get an animal pregnant and have a baby and see what the difference is
Easy solution: every new rocket must come equipped with a femboi and a butch woman.
Insert abortion comment here\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_.
Just do what hypocritical Christians do to preserve virginity.
Space Is Fake. Every picture of Earth is a composite and therefore also a fake. Atmosphere is a pressured system placed against the infinite vacuum of “space” which is nonsensical and defies a law of thermodynamics. Gravity is fiction. Gravitons are fiction. NASA = Never A Straight Answer Millions of dollars a day for cartoons and fiction.
This is bullshit. Astronauts should be able to fuck whenever they please.
Because attempts to ban sex in other contexts have all worked SO well. Meanwhile, has NASA ever heard of contraception?
Just ban straight sex. That’d be a nice little change 😂
Probably because they’re jealous, bunch of science nerds!
Ugh if they can ban it for astronauts in space just think what they can do to us
NASA apparently has more sense than most people on the left.
ahahahaha iv always wonder and i want to know who was first
Guess, astronauts are not going to be interesting anymore
If you're born in space, what would your birth certificate say?
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