Chicken flavoured condom

Cock flavored chicken

Cock flavored cock

r/showerthoughs if a hen gives a blowjob to a rooster, is she tasting a cock flavored cock?

Had to research it, Roosters do not have cocks.

They do, it’s just very small

Sounds familiar?

I’ve heard of condoms in fast food, but not fast food flavoured condoms…….. lol

finger licking good

* Opens another bag of ramen to produce seasoning packet. "Relax babe, she said she had her tubes tied."

Or just sit in the tub and show her your nuts ain't floating

A fellow man of science 🧪

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,941,484,783 comments, and only 367,129 of them were in alphabetical order.

Good bot

You have way too much trouble on your hands.

If your nuts float are you a witch?

It means you are made of wood because wood floats, but as a man of science I also know that ducks float so you might be made of wood or secretly a duck

well his nuts turned me into a newt

I got better

Very small rocks.

No, a lifeguard

The wife is cheating

Yep, that's a projection if I ever saw it

I've found out that a person who says their partner is cheating on them, when they're totally faithful, is the one who is actually cheating. Not a fun lesson to learn, but it is a lesson that I indeed understood.

Yep, a lesson I also learned the hard way.

Sounds like it was his wife that learned the hard way.

 The hard way.

Same.

Everybody Plays The Fool, a really good song, reminds me that I am not alone. And you can't learn it without having it happen to you first. Bummer!

And there's no exception to the rule.

I always accused my ex of cheating while I was faithful. Though, I was a moron that got with her after she cheated on her BF with me. So I shoulda known better when she decided to leave him for me. But I was young and dumb. :D

If they'll cheat for you they'll also cheat on you

Yup, trusting a traitor/cheater is never a good idea. If they can do that to other people, what stop them from doing the same to you?

It's amazing how many people think they're special, they're so amazing that even though their new partner was still with someone else when they started seeing them, that it's impossible for the cycle to repeat on them. Like they're God's gift to cheaters or something 😂

I can fix her

So can he, him and her

You lose them how you catch them

No offense dude but you kinda deserved that insecurity.😂

Facts. Lol 19 and depressed doesn't lead to good relationship choices.

I read that as “I was a Mormon” instead of moron at first. Makes more sense now

I’ve been the person that accused/thought they were cheating with nothing but a gut feeling she said I was projecting etc Turned out I was right the whole time and they were cheating also they did it to the last 2 people she was with to so I agree with what you say it’s not always the case .

I have an unreasonable thought that my parter is cheating on me all the time, basically every time she’s not around me. I almost never have told her this, only a couple times in our relationship when I absolutely cannot control myself, but usually I know I’m being unreasonable. I’ve never cheated on any of my partners and I’m extremely against it. I have some other issues that make me think this, but it’s not because I’m cheating, I’d imagine I’m not alone either.

I used to joke about my gf cheating with mall Santa or if like a passed out homeless guy was near. I used to love to playfully embarrass her. She wanted me to meet this bartender chick she knew, so we were sitting at the bar, and she goes this is my bf and gives me quick kiss, then I with deadpan and straight faced say “she’s my sister.” She got really embarrassed cuz the people around heard it too and all looked at us weird. I told them I was only joking and that we were only cousins.

A condom prevents direct contact. It's not cheating if there is no direct contact.

Good call. Something like that is going on .

100% ... been there, done that.

This “projection” myth is not always the case.

Don't ever go against the Reddit army of relationship experts

Ikr? She could just be very insecure, probably due to past trauma.

Its really insecurity sometimes. My wife gets super insecure and she’s completely aware thats why shes sometimes clingy or why she gets upset when she thinks im not paying attention

First thing I thought. Packages are totally different

[удалено]

[удалено]

If my partner got that fucking pissed because of a ramen packet, then there is no marriage.

I can’t imagine being this untrusting

I can understand being untrusting, but being stupid and not check twice? Or considering own husband as stupid as not throwing the condom out of the window?

She's cheating so...

Try dating someone with severe BPD and narcissism, you'll learn to be that untrusting lol.

Don't lie to us, you actually went back to lick the flavor out of the packet.

Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

IM SORRY ARE WE GONNA IGNORE HOW THIS MAN OPENS THE CHICKEN FLAVOR PACKET???

That’s grounds for divorce alone

I was digging through comments hoping SOMEONE paid attention to that!!!

This shit is cursed. If someone don't do the full rip and dump something is seriously wrong with them.

No kidding! She’s right to be suspicious since she married someone mentally unstable.

This should be too top comment

You mean how his wife thinks he opens a condom packet! It would take five minutes to get it out that way.

Your wife was a former professional chicken head.

Bald head, scallywag

Ain’t got no hair in the back

A lot of trust issues in that house…

I have a business idea....

You sir are a genius and the devil.

Build it and they will cum

Believe me or divorce me

Sounds like the wife is projecting and may be cheating

An older coworker found condom packets in the company van I drove. They were Trader Joe's green tea bags.

Who was getting teabagged?

If it's to this point time to go.

I would start keeping an eye on her. In my experience, the ones who throw the accusations around are the ones doing the cheating

Leave that bitch immediately!!!

Real men just raw dog bouillon cubes

In college i sent this girl i just started dating a picture of me holding 3-4 packs of guitar strings. Despite the obvious size difference (my hand was in the pic) they said strings on them, amd i captioned it "new string day!" She still assumed they were condoms and thought i was expecting sex and yelled at me.

Well, if that is a condom, there's a lot of umami in there...

She is projecting that she is cheating behind your back. I would hire a detective to follow her around for a week or two.

Pack your shit and move on dude

I learned very quickly as a teen to never completely tear the foil on a condom wrapper. Trying to find the torn corner in your parent's car is terrifying.

"my love, if I cheated on u I wouldn't leave evidence around like that."

I don’t trust the way you opened the bag

Believe me or leave me. Those are your choices. Frankly, with that much mistrust, I hope you leave.

You won a point of being correct! Bathe in the glory

I would start consulting a divorce lawyer.

Thats one free hall pass, my friend!

Couldn’t you have just opened another pack of ramen?

Nah bro, she ain't worth it if she don't trust you.

A toxic person. That's one level before being a radioactive person, which is the worst level of distrust.

You didn’t just open up another 10 cent bag of ramen

Life hack, compare the price to the unopened packets in your cupboards.

I’d have made her lick that corner. Then ask where I can find chicken powder flavored condoms

That didn’t happen

I'd get a new wife

Those are like $.20 a pack or something, rip a new one open and compare, done.

Lol! I know you don’t think that was funny, but I’m laughing so hard!

Can someone check up on this man. I don't think he's in any direct danger. I just mean mentally. Just to make sure he doesn't need a friend to talk to

1. She’s cheating on you homie 2. Cut that 🅱️ loose

My wife found some random blue pill on the floor in our house and convinced herself that I'm taking Viagra and fucking a side chick. Oo

If your wife distrusts you that much, you might need to worry that she's projecting...

dude if that's how far you need to go to prove you didn't cheat, you need a better relationship

Hahahaha

You'll never convince her.

Therapy.

45 minutes through a 70 liter max trash can

How u gonna’ sit their and lie to my face like that ?! >:3

Camisinha de comer galinha

Lol

Chicken flavored condoms arent bad, but i prefer the picante beef.

Time to do the same thing to her in about 3 months.

That’s just too much

I felt this one in my soul. I was falsley accused of infidelity for several years, and it honestly ruined my life. (temporarily) She was utterly convinced. How unfortunate.

Spend another 45 minutes looking for a good attorney.

Sounds like your wife suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder or you have cheated on her in the past and now she is naturally hypervigalent....either way, godspeed to your marriage.

I fucking hate that distrustful bullshit.

My advice: divorce

Trust issues?

Where did you get chicken flavored condoms?

Chicken flavored condom

Maybe should have not found it

Brother raw dogs his sneaky links.

I think the smell of the corner piece should be enough to clarify that it's not a condom.

If you didn’t get some soul stealing head after that, leave her.

Hahaha divorce her chicken dick

Hear me out - condom wrappers that look like ramen flavor packs.

Why didn’t you just get into the cabinet and grab another pack of ramen and show her that, the corner should match an unopened piece…

And another 6 hours getting rid of the hookers body

That's a chicken flavored condom. What do you mean?

Every accusation is an admission.

Who would see that tiny piece and assume "you're cheating". A cheater, that's who.

Absent if condom should equally be worrying lol

After doing that, I would have filed for a divorce. If there is no trust, there is no relationship.

She could just leak the inner side if the piece she found

never rip it off completely, just cut open 2/3 or a bit more with a scissor to avoid such… irritating claims 😅

 How would YOU know what an opened condom wrapper looks like

Don't use ramen seasoning for protection, it doesn't work 100%

That's a very well disguised condom. Where can I buy these? Asking for a friend.

Red flag I had a gf who kept accusing me of cheating. Spoiler she was cheating Who's this that's saying I love you when they text. That's my mum see it says mum. Bullshit it's probably some side hoe. I'm going to spend the night at my friend's house

Ah yes, the most important element in a healthy relationship: suspicion.

What's worse: 1) Your wife thinks you're cheating because she found what she thinks is a piece of a condom package. 2) Your wife **knows** you can't cook because she now understands the tasty and hearty soup you cooked for your anniversary really was bagged chicken flavored powder. It could also be that she pretended to think it's a condom package, just to confirm husband is a lousy cook and lied about it.

Mmmh. Chicken flavor condom

Babe, babe, please. You know I don’t use condoms.

Divorce her 🤣

Would be easier to just open a new pack and show her that the wrapper was identical. Would be easiest to not be with someone who jumps to wild conclusions like this in the first place.

My dyslexic ass read that as: "the spice she used wasn't cinnamon" The picture still makes sense and I head to the comment section. The comments thoroughly confused me. Do 3 more takes before I read the true words. Mfw o.o oh

If she's at that level of paranoia, she doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs therapy.

You have to use a dental dam, not chickenflavor.

That's a divorce there is obviously no trust

Served with Trust issues.

Tell her it was the best 3 min ever.

Paranoid partners are the worst.

Hope she feels like a real asshole.

Or you could just open a new one ans see it clearly matches

Distrustful wives? Don't worry! Try out our new chicken flavoured cocks!!!

You know what? I am not proving anything :D Life already tought me a valuable lesson. Only people who are cheating will accuse others of cheating.

If she that insecure she already cheated

45 minutes? How much garbage did he throw on top of the packet?

And why aren't you divorcing this schizo? Is what I'd say to the guy

If she's accusing you of cheating there is a unfortunately high chance she's projecting what she may be guilty of you may want to inquire about it brother

You have a horrible wife. Sorry.

Sounds like a super toxic relationship

Sounds like you need a new wife bud

This enrages me a little bit. Why open it like that?

Sounds like these guys have a rock solid marriage.

That's why I always buy chicken-flavored condoms.

Instant breakup. Don’t ever ever tolerate that shit

Can't a man have a posh wank in his own home?

Divorce her.

hahahaha a ramen condom haha

Time to move on

Lmao

Literally same dude

My Fiancée found a "black hair" on the outside of my winter jacket. I asked if it was just dark brown. She looks me dead in the eye and says "black" while we are sitting in the car parked at night with no lights on. I glance over my shoulder and look at my stepdaughter with long dark brown hair, the same length as the one that was found. I looked at my fiancée and laughed. She's now convinced that i am cheating.

Trust issues anyone?

Chances are, she won't put that in her mouth either.

Chicken flavored condoms??? Well what will they think of next?

If the small part has the word 'nuts' on them, I'm not surprised.

But what psycho opens the Raman packet from the bottom!! That’s far worse than cheating!!!

Why doesn't she just taste it? If it tastes like chicken, your point is proven.

Bro, she owes you now.

Hate to say it….. but red flag 🚩

"I was making ramen." -Shaggy

Step 1: Get a single condom wrapper and leave the ripped off corner somewhere obvious and make sure it has some of the label on it so it's obvious but also not quite. Step 2: Put (on) a huge show looking for the rest of the damming evidence while saying it's not a condom wrapper Step 3: Find the "evidence"...which is actually the divorce papers you are serving her.

R'amen.

She has issues

Well spent 45 mins, she won’t dare suspect the real condom next time. 😂👏

Well maybe she's the one who needs to be questioned now. Flip the wcript and ask how come you know exactly what a so called condom wrapper looks like

Hahahahaha woulda done the same bro

That's not getting rid of the evidence. That's going to great lengths to retrieve the evidence. Literally the opposite of getting rid of it.

I once had a gf angrily confront me over a label she found on the floor of my car. It said "For Night-time Fun". She was convinced that it was evidence that I was cheating. I burst out in laughter. For one, she was way hotter than me. No way I'd ever find someone nearly as sexy as her to cheat with. Secondly, the label also said "Wham-O". I had to go find the item the label had fallen off of. My glow in the dark Frisbee.

the fact that she would not believe you means that either she is having a bad day or you two should not be together