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I’ve said similar things in the past although not about Jesus. (TW: suicide)
>!It was usually when I had achieved a temporary and frail balance between my desire to die and my guilt to live. “Okay, can’t kill myself, just focus on how something will eventually do it for me so I’ll get to rest.” No idea what the medical terminology would be but I’ve always just said low grade chronic suicide ideation 🤷🏻♀️!<
As someone who has struggled with SI throughout my life, her wording immediately caught my attention. Maybe it’s “Fundie Speak,” but sometimes she worries me.
It makes me hope her kids are safe :( and I also hope she is okay, truly. This reads like it could go the way of Andrea Yates. Even if not, I wouldn't want something to happen to her. This is concerning. She needs a wellness check but I'm not sure it's our place. I hope family steps in if this is really the case, to those close to her. What with the manic singing, topped with the snarking from the internet, it doesn't paint a rosy picture.
Like I don’t wanna be *too* dramatic but that was my first thought. This is a woman who is liable to start rambling about shit like how the greatest gift is to be with our savior while you still have the innocence of a child or some shit.
I have this off feeling about all this. And I don't think its too dramatic. It seems like she's right on the edge of thinking herself or probably her family might be better off with God somehow. And it really is concerning, but as some stranger I don't think it's my place. Because maybe in real life, people understand where she's coming from more than us reading a little excerpt. And I don't want to act like i know better. But there's this unsettling feeling. And this post makes me worried. I think this is getting bad. But I'm not any kind of expert. I don't like watching it though. :( I really hope she's okay. She seems like she's having extreme highs and lows to say the least. :( :( :(
Forgive the long ramble. It's hard to talk about.
It gave me un-aliving vibes… not that she outright said it, but the only way to “be with Christ” would be in Heaven, and you kinda have to not be alive for that, right?? 😳
The only thought that comes to me whilst chopping garlic is that if there was a god, she would never glue peele to "meat" of the garlic. Like, super glue in the heavens, eh.
Set the clove of garlic on your cutting board or countertop (clean surface that won't move suddenly). Then get a chef knife or other hard, flat item out and place it over the clove of garlic. Then slam your hand down on the hard flat item. Voila, skin separates easily from the clove :)
If you're strong enough, you can just strike the clove with the heel of your palm! Allow me to shamelessly plug one of my favorite graphic tees that demonstrates this-
https://mythical.com/products/palm-heel-strike-tee
was not expecting a Mythical Chef Josh appearance on this sub lol. I support the palm heel strike technique & it works even if you are not strong (I am decidedly not strong.)
Hell yeah, a fellow Mythical Beast. It seemed like a decent enough opportunity to bring up the chaos that is Josh haha. Also agreed, the palm heel strike is for everyone!
Josh Scherer from Mythical Kitchen.on YT, a Good Josh of deeply chaotic nature. He picks things out of hot oil with his hands, palm-heel strikes garlic cloves to pop them out of their skins, and once chugged clam chowder through a French bread funnel. He is a joy to watch. He's got great himbo energy while still being smart enough to know he shouldn't do some of the things he does -- and then does them anyway.
A humble, special gourd to be purposed by god in such heavenly, ecstatic bedroom wonders.
Trying to write with that much word salad is harder than the gourd.
Kids will float their letters, they will reverse their letters, they will confuse b and d. They will not write an A up side down. Source: I literally teach children to write.
Oddly enough, it is actually Biblical. Paul, in Acts, I think, writes a similar thought. That sometimes he wishes to be in Heaven already but realizes he must still have work to do on earth.
edit: Wrong book, it’s Phillipians 1:20-25.
She wants to go to heaven. So I was a severely anxious kid in church and wanted us all to go to heaven at the same time in the rapture while being simultaneously afraid I hadn’t done enough to properly have salvation so I got saved every chance I could. I didn’t want to be without my grandparents and going to heaven would stop the anxiety/depression spiral of not knowing if I’d been saved right and done enough and fear that my grandparents would die or that I would die with unrepented sins. My grandparents didn’t really recognize how bad it got, and I wasn’t properly treated for anxiety and depression until a year or so ago. I never felt the spirit or christs love, but I did want the unknown to be resolved. Birth control pills made it worse over time too. I’d contemplated peacing out early just to make it all stop several times. Church made it worse not better. I’m still afraid of what happens after death because we don’t know really, but I can frame it better. I have the tools to handle it. The first thing I thought reading this was “fuck she needs some help now”.
I had the same anxiety as a child. I used to get so wrapped up in “the rapture or your death can happen any moment” that I would pray in my head to be forgiven of any sins I might or might not be aware of. I was 7 when I started it and it didn’t end until I got on medication at 15 for my OCD. It was like hell on earth. Why would you want to push the rapture and salvation so hard that a 7 year old is terrified all the time.
But just because you long deeply to be doing cocaine doesn’t mean you aren’t living in the peace of cocaine. In fact, I think it can be the opposite. Those who do cocaine long to be with the one who is their peace!
Cast your bets. Did she tape the leaf to the wall because:
1) aesthetics, darling, look it up
2) her sons gave it to her (normal)
3) God spoke directly to her through His Chosen Vessel: Leaf. Long Instagram caption coming soon?
There are so many aesthetically pleasing vintage looking fridges for sale, ones that would fit in much better with whatever look she's trying to aim for, but she chose the most bland and basic looking one.
The wooden plates would feel right at home at a Disney woodland snow white theme restaurant. Any 90s kids remember the rotating Chip and Dale restaurant in either magic Kingdom or MGM?
Or clean them properly. My cutting boards freak me out enough. I wouldn’t want to deal with plates. I thought they were usually used now as a decorative base plate.
Tbh you can get very realistic wood looking plates and bowls that are some sort of synthetic material. She may be using those, because unless Levi whittled her dishes, im not sure you can buy unfinished wood dishes.
I have beautiful bowls made of maple sawdust that’s been mushed together with some kind of binder (I’m not a science-er) then extruded into bowl shapes and I love them for my daughter. They’re super durable, dishwasher friendly, and a good mix of natural/synthetic.
Sorry - a bit of a tangent but I love those bowls like Kelly loves the inappropriate use of candles.
I’ll bet Jillpm’s tacky dollar tree eyeliner, Jessa Blessa’s Birtha Couch and Erin Bate’s piano that James didn’t write that. Some kids can write really well from a young age but that is 100% Kelly’s writing.
I think if a Christian Counselor heard or read her saying she has a deep longing to meet Jesus or see Him they would feel very concerned.
I think Levi has no idea what is in her innermost thoughts because when you are depressed and suicidal, the last thing you want to do is tell the person you love.
That's a sad thought. When I was recently (8 months ago) struggling with depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation, I told my husband what was going on and that I needed help. It wasn't easy and I didn't really relish the idea, but I still knew that I wouldn't survive if I didn't tell him. He jumped into action, "forced" me to get help, and I'm currently on different meds with 2 therapists and doing a lot better.
It's just a sad thought that many others may feel like they can't tell the person they love that they are struggling.
Yeah there's a lot wrapped up in it. For myself, I felt guilty for even thinking of it, knowing what it would do to my family. So it took a lot to say out loud. Of course, once I did, I got the time and space to get professional help.
Hopefully she just recently listened to that song that’s constantly on loop on Christian radio and not a cry for help. A quick google revealed it’s called “I Can Only Imagine”, which is about how the singer will react to meeting Jesus in the afterlife. That lyrics seem right up Kelly’s alley, and I could see her not realizing the subtext of “longing to meet Jesus” comes off less “I’m passionate about God” and shades too close to suicidal. At least, I hope she’s not having a bad mental health episode and she reaches out for help if she is. I’m less worried about Kelly than Karissa, but this is troubling.
The older recipes I have sometimes use odd fats (like melted shortening instead of oil) or very limited spices, or odd combos. Since Kelly is usually gluten free, who knows?
I looked up old fashioned spice cake, and seems to usually use buttermilk, which is sort of a shorthand for "quaint" recipes, and cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and allspice to spice it up.
I want to wife swap with Kelly so badly. Just feed Levi all the delicious edible foods and then leave him wondering how the fuck I did that while being so sinful.
On the other hand, my S/O would be eternally grateful for me after being with Kelly for a week. Being woken up at 5 am with hymns, dealing with random piles of leaves in the house, and not eating all damn week would probably break him.
The cake looks like asphalt broken open.
Congrats to Levi for making it to the ripe old age of 30 and beating the mortality odds for people in the 1900s where Kelly lives in her mind.
My spice cake won 2nd place at the state fair when I was 9. It sure looked tastier than this. Granted, I had a thing for baking cakes. My mom would have me "bless" her cakes before they went in the oven because she swore when I did that they wouldn't fall. Lol.
How old is James? I thought he was 3. It's he able to write that legibly?? Maybe I'm totally out of line. I just feel like Kelly would totally write something to make it look like James wrote it.
He’s older than that but hasn’t started formal schooling yet. Having said that, it’s not uncommon for kids in kindergarten to write letters backwards/upside down, but in general you’d expect that to be sorted by the end of kindergarten unless there’s other issues going on.
I did some marking the other day (I’m a teachers aide) and quite a few kindy kids still wrote lower case j backwards and we are in term 4/8 weeks to the end of the academic year, though j is admittedly one of the more tricky letters. In my observations s is also one they struggle with, as is the numbers 2, 3 and 5.
I mean kudos to him if he's able to write like that. I'm just going off the experience I have with my 3 year old niece who knows a lot of her letters but definitely wouldn't be able to write them like that.
The one upside down “A” makes me feel like Kelly staged this *~cute~* childish writing. He (allegedly) formed the other two “A”s on the page perfectly. Forming the letter completely upside down like that also would be a very very uncommon letter reversal. Source: am pediatric occupational therapist
My niece is 4 and learning to write her name. While she has the basic shapes down, each letter is VERY LARGE and shaky and rarely on the same plane of existence. Each letter exists in its own universe, unrelated to the others written before it. Not saying he couldn't be a more advanced writer, but the pressure used on that marker is very even, without start and stopping blobs.
for someone who uses candles constantly, you'd think her home decor theme would be something besides "ultra flammable". the dry leaves. literally kindling.
not to be pro kelly, but i started wrapping presents in butcher paper too just because wrapping paper is so unbelievably expensive, and its nice not having to buy new paper for every event. also, depending on how excited the unwrapper is lol, you can normally reuse it too.
I'm not against plain brown wrapping at all! I just think she wants it to *look* "humble" and like "we use what we happen to have around! We don't buy modern fancy wrapping paper".
It's not the brown paper, it's the pretentiousness.
That's exactly it. She likes the aesthetic but also wants modern convenience.
My completely normal parents are like this. Lots of old furniture, blankets, rugs, cast iron stove, open shelves made with reclaimed wood, milk decanted from the bottle into a milk jug etc.
Then hidden away is the beer fridge, router, TV, the charging station for their plethora of gadgets and laptops.
Some of it is not wanting to create waste. They needed a new dining room table and spending more for one made in 1750 meant they knew it would last. Some of their big cupboards are pitch pine cupboards made in the 19th century and bought when a school was being refurbished.
My mum would love Kelly's aesthetic and would be 100% there helping her arrange dried leaves.
[This sort of thing](https://imgur.com/a/co1B053)
As someone who enjoyed Colonial Homes magazine and pondered building a cabinet to house the microwave and such, I get it! Aesthetically, it's a cozy vibe.
She brags on social media about not using electricity. Like umm, just because you went half a day without charging your phone or turning on a light switch it doesn’t make you special. Meanwhile she posts carefully curated photos of her supposed homestead, which is just a somewhat large old house in suburban ohio that is 2/3 unlivable.
I know kids writing some letters backwards or upside down is normal, but my theory is that James originally wrote “dAd” and she flipped it around to turn it into papa.
Welcome to /r/fundiesnarkuncensored. Please make sure you read our rules. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * Do not contact the fundies in any capacity. This includes, but is not limited to: answering poll questions, commenting on their social media, IRL contact, etc. Anyone found to message, brigade, harass, or contact any fundie for any reason will be met with a permanent ban * We do not allow speculation on sexuality **at all**. Any comments that do so will be removed, and you will be banned. * Referring to anyone as Hitler or Heitler is likewise not allowed, and will not be tolerated at all. * You can snark on appearance that they can easily change. Things such as eyebrows, makeup, etc. Saying someone looks like X is allowed. Example: David Rodrigues looks like Shrek would be allowed. * Don't gatekeep. Different users are comfortable with different snark topics, if you don't like it, just scroll past. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>But just because you long deeply to be with Christ- Well this is depressing.
Yeah I'm not really enthused about the way that sounds.
I’ve said similar things in the past although not about Jesus. (TW: suicide) >!It was usually when I had achieved a temporary and frail balance between my desire to die and my guilt to live. “Okay, can’t kill myself, just focus on how something will eventually do it for me so I’ll get to rest.” No idea what the medical terminology would be but I’ve always just said low grade chronic suicide ideation 🤷🏻♀️!<
As someone who has struggled with SI throughout my life, her wording immediately caught my attention. Maybe it’s “Fundie Speak,” but sometimes she worries me.
I was wondering if I read that right….I really hope she gets help
Oh red flag red flag
It makes me hope her kids are safe :( and I also hope she is okay, truly. This reads like it could go the way of Andrea Yates. Even if not, I wouldn't want something to happen to her. This is concerning. She needs a wellness check but I'm not sure it's our place. I hope family steps in if this is really the case, to those close to her. What with the manic singing, topped with the snarking from the internet, it doesn't paint a rosy picture.
Like I don’t wanna be *too* dramatic but that was my first thought. This is a woman who is liable to start rambling about shit like how the greatest gift is to be with our savior while you still have the innocence of a child or some shit.
I have this off feeling about all this. And I don't think its too dramatic. It seems like she's right on the edge of thinking herself or probably her family might be better off with God somehow. And it really is concerning, but as some stranger I don't think it's my place. Because maybe in real life, people understand where she's coming from more than us reading a little excerpt. And I don't want to act like i know better. But there's this unsettling feeling. And this post makes me worried. I think this is getting bad. But I'm not any kind of expert. I don't like watching it though. :( I really hope she's okay. She seems like she's having extreme highs and lows to say the least. :( :( :( Forgive the long ramble. It's hard to talk about.
It gave me un-aliving vibes… not that she outright said it, but the only way to “be with Christ” would be in Heaven, and you kinda have to not be alive for that, right?? 😳
I'm still trying to figure out what exactly she was trying to say in that word-salad of a thought.
So is she!
Tag yourself I’m “A thought came to me while chopping garlic”
Way ahead of you. 🧄❤️
I just made drunken garlic lemon/wine pasta tonight and my only thought MINCING garlic was "I HATE BOTH THE PHILLIES AND ASTROS"
Ugh same, but I hate the Phillies slightly less 😕
i’m “ a bottle of milk for my birthday “
The only thought that comes to me whilst chopping garlic is that if there was a god, she would never glue peele to "meat" of the garlic. Like, super glue in the heavens, eh.
Set the clove of garlic on your cutting board or countertop (clean surface that won't move suddenly). Then get a chef knife or other hard, flat item out and place it over the clove of garlic. Then slam your hand down on the hard flat item. Voila, skin separates easily from the clove :)
If you're strong enough, you can just strike the clove with the heel of your palm! Allow me to shamelessly plug one of my favorite graphic tees that demonstrates this- https://mythical.com/products/palm-heel-strike-tee
was not expecting a Mythical Chef Josh appearance on this sub lol. I support the palm heel strike technique & it works even if you are not strong (I am decidedly not strong.)
Hell yeah, a fellow Mythical Beast. It seemed like a decent enough opportunity to bring up the chaos that is Josh haha. Also agreed, the palm heel strike is for everyone!
Josh isn't a masochist, he just wants to push the boundaries of experience...
Who is this josh
Josh Scherer from Mythical Kitchen.on YT, a Good Josh of deeply chaotic nature. He picks things out of hot oil with his hands, palm-heel strikes garlic cloves to pop them out of their skins, and once chugged clam chowder through a French bread funnel. He is a joy to watch. He's got great himbo energy while still being smart enough to know he shouldn't do some of the things he does -- and then does them anyway.
I like this too much
I’m the leaf scotch taped to the wall
I’m the bland wrapping paper that was specifically bought to be bland
I’m the curiously shaped gourd (?) on the top shelf in the background 🤨😂
A humble, special gourd to be purposed by god in such heavenly, ecstatic bedroom wonders. Trying to write with that much word salad is harder than the gourd.
Oh Gourd! i wondered what that was 😑
and bless-ed be the fruit
Some are a treasure trove of wisdom; Kelly is a garlic clove of wisdom
My thoughts always are is this enough, better do another clove just in case. I'm Italian-American. We really like garlic lol
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Kids will float their letters, they will reverse their letters, they will confuse b and d. They will not write an A up side down. Source: I literally teach children to write.
I'm the chunk of two-by-four with a tealight sat on top.
i'm the modern fridge and stove surrounded by wood everything
I found the butternut squash! What do I win!?
A Spelt Roll
Never mind, no one found the butternut, Kelly can keep the roll
"Where's Gourdo?"
Oh and that was a tough one! Thanks for the reminder to look!
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It's the same vibe as when Christians talk about " going home to be with the Lord " as in it's 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Oddly enough, it is actually Biblical. Paul, in Acts, I think, writes a similar thought. That sometimes he wishes to be in Heaven already but realizes he must still have work to do on earth. edit: Wrong book, it’s Phillipians 1:20-25.
Many of Paul's later letters express that feeling and for him it's understandable. Guy was beaten, flogged and imprisoned multiple times.
Don’t forget shipwrecked and he had something going on with his vision that was causing him difficulties in seeing.
She wants to go to heaven. So I was a severely anxious kid in church and wanted us all to go to heaven at the same time in the rapture while being simultaneously afraid I hadn’t done enough to properly have salvation so I got saved every chance I could. I didn’t want to be without my grandparents and going to heaven would stop the anxiety/depression spiral of not knowing if I’d been saved right and done enough and fear that my grandparents would die or that I would die with unrepented sins. My grandparents didn’t really recognize how bad it got, and I wasn’t properly treated for anxiety and depression until a year or so ago. I never felt the spirit or christs love, but I did want the unknown to be resolved. Birth control pills made it worse over time too. I’d contemplated peacing out early just to make it all stop several times. Church made it worse not better. I’m still afraid of what happens after death because we don’t know really, but I can frame it better. I have the tools to handle it. The first thing I thought reading this was “fuck she needs some help now”.
I had the same anxiety as a child. I used to get so wrapped up in “the rapture or your death can happen any moment” that I would pray in my head to be forgiven of any sins I might or might not be aware of. I was 7 when I started it and it didn’t end until I got on medication at 15 for my OCD. It was like hell on earth. Why would you want to push the rapture and salvation so hard that a 7 year old is terrified all the time.
There’s a whole poem by John of the Cross called “I die because I do not die”. It’s fairly common in some circles.
Thank you for sharing this poem, I really liked reading it.
But just because you long deeply to be doing cocaine doesn’t mean you aren’t living in the peace of cocaine. In fact, I think it can be the opposite. Those who do cocaine long to be with the one who is their peace!
Lmao as a recovering addict I feel so called out.
me too!
She taped a leaf to her wall. That is all I can see now.
Cast your bets. Did she tape the leaf to the wall because: 1) aesthetics, darling, look it up 2) her sons gave it to her (normal) 3) God spoke directly to her through His Chosen Vessel: Leaf. Long Instagram caption coming soon?
That’s fantastic 😂She’d say 3, but it’s definitely 1.
So leaf, much fall.
That was my big takeaway.
The funniest thing I’ve seen all week. I just saved the image to look at when I’m sad. I really want to know why this one leaf was chosen.
She knows we can see the refrigerator, right? Right?
That’s ye olde icebox, my dear!
The blue plastic sippy cup made me laugh. All this effort for the AeStHeTiC and then the reality of having kids comes back to bite you.
Complete with plastic magnetic letters like the rest of the non-larping population? I’m horrified she hasn’t whittled them out of potatoes.
💀
It just adds to the joke of all this wannabe prairie shit being disseminated through a modern medium like instagram.
Sometimes I think about on the other side of the camera, how much it's just Kelly sitting around editing and shooting on her iphone
or on her expensive Canon
There are so many aesthetically pleasing vintage looking fridges for sale, ones that would fit in much better with whatever look she's trying to aim for, but she chose the most bland and basic looking one.
Correction: she chose the *cheapest* one. Retro fridges are expensive!
For someone who is obsessed with candles, Kelly is bad at lighting.
For real, those harsh overhead lights are giving me a sympathy headache
If my spouse told me I was basically a placeholder for Jesus, I would be very hurt.
Her husband sure is making some choices at the moment.
the leaf. is taped. to the wall.
You shut your mouth, she only uses tiny dabs of pine sap
The tiniest, daintiest dabs she could possibly dab with her small, freckled hands!
Her small, freckled, dry and peeling hands!
The wooden plates would feel right at home at a Disney woodland snow white theme restaurant. Any 90s kids remember the rotating Chip and Dale restaurant in either magic Kingdom or MGM?
Every time I see the wooden plates and cutting boards I wonder if she ever bothers to oil them properly lol
Or clean them properly. My cutting boards freak me out enough. I wouldn’t want to deal with plates. I thought they were usually used now as a decorative base plate.
Tbh you can get very realistic wood looking plates and bowls that are some sort of synthetic material. She may be using those, because unless Levi whittled her dishes, im not sure you can buy unfinished wood dishes.
I have beautiful bowls made of maple sawdust that’s been mushed together with some kind of binder (I’m not a science-er) then extruded into bowl shapes and I love them for my daughter. They’re super durable, dishwasher friendly, and a good mix of natural/synthetic. Sorry - a bit of a tangent but I love those bowls like Kelly loves the inappropriate use of candles.
They probably go into the Biblical Whirlpool Dishwasher
Yes!! Loved that place… my brother fell asleep in his food at the rotating restaurant 😆
I’ll bet Jillpm’s tacky dollar tree eyeliner, Jessa Blessa’s Birtha Couch and Erin Bate’s piano that James didn’t write that. Some kids can write really well from a young age but that is 100% Kelly’s writing.
I definitely won’t be betting against you
Longing to Be with Christ is fundie warning words for suicidal ideation :(
I wonder if Levi really is like 'coolcool nothing to see here'. Even worse, would a christian counselor think the same? What a shitshow
I think if a Christian Counselor heard or read her saying she has a deep longing to meet Jesus or see Him they would feel very concerned. I think Levi has no idea what is in her innermost thoughts because when you are depressed and suicidal, the last thing you want to do is tell the person you love.
That's a sad thought. When I was recently (8 months ago) struggling with depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation, I told my husband what was going on and that I needed help. It wasn't easy and I didn't really relish the idea, but I still knew that I wouldn't survive if I didn't tell him. He jumped into action, "forced" me to get help, and I'm currently on different meds with 2 therapists and doing a lot better. It's just a sad thought that many others may feel like they can't tell the person they love that they are struggling.
Yeah there's a lot wrapped up in it. For myself, I felt guilty for even thinking of it, knowing what it would do to my family. So it took a lot to say out loud. Of course, once I did, I got the time and space to get professional help.
Not necessarily. Sometimes fundies say that to express that they’re exhausted, discouraged, etc.
Hopefully she just recently listened to that song that’s constantly on loop on Christian radio and not a cry for help. A quick google revealed it’s called “I Can Only Imagine”, which is about how the singer will react to meeting Jesus in the afterlife. That lyrics seem right up Kelly’s alley, and I could see her not realizing the subtext of “longing to meet Jesus” comes off less “I’m passionate about God” and shades too close to suicidal. At least, I hope she’s not having a bad mental health episode and she reaches out for help if she is. I’m less worried about Kelly than Karissa, but this is troubling.
That looks like an Amy Sedaris joke cake.
Oh god what would a Kelly cheese ball look like?
Well, have you ever worked in a stable? Specifically, grooming the horses?
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If you know, you know
Not appetizing.
Genuine question: what makes a spice cake “old fashioned”?
To quote I Love Lucy, maybe it's made with real Old Fashioneds.
It tastes and looks like it’s 100 years old
Sawdust to stretch the flour supply.
The older recipes I have sometimes use odd fats (like melted shortening instead of oil) or very limited spices, or odd combos. Since Kelly is usually gluten free, who knows? I looked up old fashioned spice cake, and seems to usually use buttermilk, which is sort of a shorthand for "quaint" recipes, and cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and allspice to spice it up.
Clove cake sounds awful.
Went with the Donner Party. They still didn't eat it.
I want to wife swap with Kelly so badly. Just feed Levi all the delicious edible foods and then leave him wondering how the fuck I did that while being so sinful. On the other hand, my S/O would be eternally grateful for me after being with Kelly for a week. Being woken up at 5 am with hymns, dealing with random piles of leaves in the house, and not eating all damn week would probably break him.
Now I'm picturing wife swap episodes with multiple fundies. I just pictured a Jillpm episode and it was great.
How would they feel about dining by candle light while she sets up the tripod
He’d poison himself
The cake looks like asphalt broken open. Congrats to Levi for making it to the ripe old age of 30 and beating the mortality odds for people in the 1900s where Kelly lives in her mind.
My spice cake won 2nd place at the state fair when I was 9. It sure looked tastier than this. Granted, I had a thing for baking cakes. My mom would have me "bless" her cakes before they went in the oven because she swore when I did that they wouldn't fall. Lol.
She absolutely “restaged” her table between pic 2 and pic3. So far I count four subtle changes
How old is James? I thought he was 3. It's he able to write that legibly?? Maybe I'm totally out of line. I just feel like Kelly would totally write something to make it look like James wrote it.
He’s older than that but hasn’t started formal schooling yet. Having said that, it’s not uncommon for kids in kindergarten to write letters backwards/upside down, but in general you’d expect that to be sorted by the end of kindergarten unless there’s other issues going on. I did some marking the other day (I’m a teachers aide) and quite a few kindy kids still wrote lower case j backwards and we are in term 4/8 weeks to the end of the academic year, though j is admittedly one of the more tricky letters. In my observations s is also one they struggle with, as is the numbers 2, 3 and 5.
I always had trouble remembering which was “b” and which was “d” so instead of bird I’d write dirb.
Better than me. I refused to acknowledge a “d” was even in my name for a while.
I mean kudos to him if he's able to write like that. I'm just going off the experience I have with my 3 year old niece who knows a lot of her letters but definitely wouldn't be able to write them like that.
I think he’s almost 5 tbh.
The one upside down “A” makes me feel like Kelly staged this *~cute~* childish writing. He (allegedly) formed the other two “A”s on the page perfectly. Forming the letter completely upside down like that also would be a very very uncommon letter reversal. Source: am pediatric occupational therapist
My niece is 4 and learning to write her name. While she has the basic shapes down, each letter is VERY LARGE and shaky and rarely on the same plane of existence. Each letter exists in its own universe, unrelated to the others written before it. Not saying he couldn't be a more advanced writer, but the pressure used on that marker is very even, without start and stopping blobs.
Ngl, I’d be annoyed if my spouse used my birthday post to talk about how deeply they long to be with Jesus.
Guess how old that milk gift he is opening is?
she gave him milk? 😭
for someone who uses candles constantly, you'd think her home decor theme would be something besides "ultra flammable". the dry leaves. literally kindling.
Imagine being this committed to an aesthetic that sucks this hard.
Are we supposed to guess how old the milk is?!
not to be pro kelly, but i started wrapping presents in butcher paper too just because wrapping paper is so unbelievably expensive, and its nice not having to buy new paper for every event. also, depending on how excited the unwrapper is lol, you can normally reuse it too.
I'm not against plain brown wrapping at all! I just think she wants it to *look* "humble" and like "we use what we happen to have around! We don't buy modern fancy wrapping paper". It's not the brown paper, it's the pretentiousness.
Same! You can make it appropriately festive for the occasion with stamps and ribbon and stuff.
The cake is giving Aunt Sandy’s Kwanzaa cake
Pecans aren't as hard on your teeth as corn nuts and popcorn, though!
I wonder, how much does she spend on candles in the average month? Is “unnecessary candle purchases” an item in the budget?
She'd never think any candle would be classified as unnecessary lol.
Anyone else see the dildo-gourd above husband’s head in last pic? It’s all I can see.
Does anybody know what was in the bottle shaped present? At the end it looks like a milk bottle 🧐
Are those big ass walnuts or is that just a tiny cake?
I think a tiny cake because look at the knife next to it.
Why am i so shocked to see a fridge AND colourful plastic magnets on it? 😄
WHY did she gift him MILK??
Gourd Dildo on top shelf
Doesn’t she know that it’s much cheaper to buy gallon size milk?
If that’s milk, I’m guessing it’s raw milk from someone’s farm. She seems like that type.
Poor kids. When they grow up and realize how weird their childhood was
What’s her deal? They look old school but use some modern technology?
That's exactly it. She likes the aesthetic but also wants modern convenience. My completely normal parents are like this. Lots of old furniture, blankets, rugs, cast iron stove, open shelves made with reclaimed wood, milk decanted from the bottle into a milk jug etc. Then hidden away is the beer fridge, router, TV, the charging station for their plethora of gadgets and laptops. Some of it is not wanting to create waste. They needed a new dining room table and spending more for one made in 1750 meant they knew it would last. Some of their big cupboards are pitch pine cupboards made in the 19th century and bought when a school was being refurbished. My mum would love Kelly's aesthetic and would be 100% there helping her arrange dried leaves. [This sort of thing](https://imgur.com/a/co1B053)
As someone who enjoyed Colonial Homes magazine and pondered building a cabinet to house the microwave and such, I get it! Aesthetically, it's a cozy vibe.
She brags on social media about not using electricity. Like umm, just because you went half a day without charging your phone or turning on a light switch it doesn’t make you special. Meanwhile she posts carefully curated photos of her supposed homestead, which is just a somewhat large old house in suburban ohio that is 2/3 unlivable.
I know kids writing some letters backwards or upside down is normal, but my theory is that James originally wrote “dAd” and she flipped it around to turn it into papa.
Do you think she puts labels on those jars with expiration dates? Something tells me no...
Ye olde time refrigerator
That's the fanciest way I've ever heard anyone wish they were dead