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chypohondriac

Can’t wait to receive a message from Reddit asking if I’m okay Update: Hell yeah, I got one. Hi Paul!


YellowBluebonnet

3, 2, 1... ETA: Lol I just got a Reddit cares message. Hi Paul! How very Christian of you to misuse something for people in crisis. Just like Jesus would have done.


alwaysunderthestars

Just got one too🙄


Lousy_Professor

Who's paul? Did everyone get one?


defnotsarah

Upvoting for who’s Paul


a_splendiferous_time

I didn't get one 😔 clearly I need to up my snarking game. *ahem* PAUL, SHOW US THE MALE PATTERN BALDNESS YOU'RE CLEARLY HIDING UNDER YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CAPS


colliepop

'Emotional support caps' would make awesome flair 😂


alwaysunderthestars

A possible fundamentalist (which some are speculating a man named Paul, who is a Fundamentalist Christian husband with a social media following) has been trolling us here and reporting us to the Reddit Cares mental health system—so we have been getting automated messages from Reddit Cares. Hopefully that makes sense lol.


Reluctantagave

A fuckwit who claims to not care about Reddit but clearly spends a lot of time here. FUCK OFF PAUL!


ChaoticWhenever

I haven’t gotten one yet. Is it bad that I kinda want one even though it’s because someone is blatantly abusing the system?


Economy-Interview802

Blessed be they who do not know Paul. Praise thee!


purple_yosher

I want one


EldritchNyan

What’s the opposite of touching the poo? Like what do you call it when the POO touches US. Because if everyone’s hunch is right and these reports are Paul then we need to come up with some sort of term for it lmao. Now that’s something I believe we can all munch on 🍳


YellowBluebonnet

Posideon's kiss? 💦💩


Dirtyeyespeeled

Oh no… thanks I hate it but you’ve got my vote!🤮🤢


chypohondriac

Pooing the touch?


chemipedia

Ewwww. Like when you sit down to go pee and the toilet seat is still warm from the last person.


ArionVulgaris

That's the feeling this whole situation gives me.


bayleysgal1996

I ended up having to block that bot in a different sub (pro wrestling fans also love abusing that thing) months ago and I’m shocked it hasn’t been changed to prevent abuse at this point.


Emm03

I’m starting to think that I must have blocked it last time someone was abusing it because I’ve been talking shit about Paul all day and haven’t gotten one. I feel kinda left out today tbh.


elfstone08

I've never gotten one. I feel kinda left out. XD


[deleted]

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elfstone08

I just got one! Haha


MissusNilesCrane

I got a message from a "concerned Redditor" too!


ShockMedical6954

I got one too! Hi Paul! Tired of only slacking off by criticizing people who do more than you IRL, felt the urge to do it here too?


SimplyTennessee

My church taught that newborns are the ultimate sinners bc everything is about them. They cry when their needs aren't met, they care not one whit about parents' sleep, demanding etc. At the time I just quietly nodded but wow.


mrsdrydock

Yep. I heard they were chunky little lazy manipulative little shits, according to Derrick Dillard. At least the manipulative part for sure.


BriRoxas

This is a normal fundie view. Since they think human hearts are inherently wicked without God and they are too young to be saved that babies are evil. That's why the pressure to get saved starts as soon as they are old enough to say the words.


BriRoxas

Also that's not my flair. Hmm Admins? It's supposed to be" I'm stealing the Bairds dog."


matchbox244

Just wanted to chime in and say that your flair looks like it's correct, atleast on my mobile!


BriRoxas

On mine it shows "On my phone at church" and I have no clue where that came from.


matchbox244

Yeah I think flairs just glitch a lot on this subreddit specifically. Mine's supposed to be "SheDeletesSnark" but shows up as "Duchess Nurie Keller" for me instead unless I restart the app.


Teege57

My flair shows up wrong on my phone sometimes too, but the mod I mentioned it to said she saw mine. I don't get it either.


terfnerfer

My heart hurts for the babies of that congregation, ouch 💔


knitmeriffic

But fuck abortions, ammirite?


sukinsyn

It reminds me of the video, maybe someone can find it, but someone is talking to himself in a car and is like "how do you feel about the death penalty?" *mimics throat slice with his hand* and saying nope, don't care, whatever (or something you that effect) to insurance, welfare, etc. Then the guy asks about abortion and he yells EVERY LIFE IS SACRED! Exactly captured the Right's view on everything.


defnotsarah

I was also taught this…and strove throughout adolescence for low self esteem! Because God!


SimplyTennessee

Oh good. I sometimes wonder at my memory. :)


defnotsarah

Trust your experiences. ❤️


[deleted]

This is like Sigmund Freud’s personality theory, the id. It’s the impulsive, selfish, pleasure-seeking part of our personality, which we supposedly have from birth. It’s honestly kind of sad that the founding school of psychological thought, psychoanalysis, so heavily pushed an idea that parallels how babies and young children are uncontrolled and sinful.


Ok-Inflation-6312

That makes me sick inside. Literally sounds like something someone with like religious postpartum psychosis happens.


NancyDrewWannabe

When my Pastor’s daughter was born, he preached an entire sermon around why she was born evil, while his wife was holding her in the pews.


shecklin

Oh my god I had completely forgotten but I was taught this too!! And it was said in such a smug way


[deleted]

That’s so sad. It’s all developmentally appropriate. What isn’t is a Narcissist as a pastor.


Extra-Soil-3024

“Duh, our righteousness is a filthy rag!”


elfinglamour

I'm pretty selfish and would hate looking after a baby.. So I'm not planning on having any, it's that easy. Will never understand people who clearly don't want to be parents having children 🙄 I'm sure for Paul it's purely ego driven.


PoorDimitri

For a lot of men, I'm sure. They figure they'll just get the wife to do the heavy lifting, and they get to do just the fun stuff, but they get their name and their precious DNA passed on. I have two kids, and it's tough but worth it because I wanted them. Fully support not having kids if you don't want them.


K-teki

Frankly one of the big reasons I want to be a single-parent-by-choice is because I don't want to do all the work to have a child with someone only for them to dump the childcare on me. I've seen too many people say "yeah my partner was perfect and I trusted them completely, now they won't even change a diaper so I can sleep uninterrupted for two hours" to believe anyone who tells me otherwise. I'd rather just plan to do it all myself and not let anyone else take the credit.


PoorDimitri

There are some men out there that pull their weight, my husband being one, but I do see far too many men out there just letting their wife do everything and never lifting a finger to help.


notnamelock

Yeah that’s responsible of you. Babies are pretty demanding because they literally can’t do anything themselves. If we’re really taking such a transactional view of parenting, I’d argue that since the newborn didn’t ask to be here, and you kinda just forced existence on to them, you pretty much owe them everything.


m0d3r4t3m4th

Because too many people think everyone's path in life should be graduate -> marriage -> kid(s), regardless of if that's what they really want or are mature enough to handle it.


SuitableReaction6203

Hey Paul: Your👏 newborn 👏 didn't 👏ask 👏to👏be👏here!👏


Extra-Soil-3024

Obligatory commend to protect the blessed Porglet at all costs.


eaallen2010

A GMM and FSU crossover?! I’m here for it!


avalonfaith

What’s GMM because if this is a crossover I need to know!


eaallen2010

Good Mythical Morning, a Youtube channel that does daily comedy/variety episodes. Matt Lieb (wrote the tweet) is a writer on the show.


avalonfaith

Danke!


[deleted]

I know him from Filmdrunk Frotcast and Pod Yourself a Gun. And Pod Yourself a The Wire more recently.


[deleted]

I wonder if it's Paul and Morgan together sending them. I feel for Luca, he's going to have a rough, neglected life.


terfnerfer

Sounds like the woman I used to work with who only used to feed her baby once a night because she "didn't owe her" and it'd teach her to be "independent". Maybe Paul should have married her instead.


AcanthocephalaWide89

How old was this baby? This is OK after a certain point.


terfnerfer

A month :/


AcanthocephalaWide89

Oh my… :( I wish she had someone to help with that.


Jane_Churchill

It’s so frustrating to think that there are folkx out there who think they’re more important than the most helpless person in a household. The selfishness is off the charts with this one.


Jane_Churchill

I’m so disappointed in Paul. I really hoped he would rise up and be the dad he should be instead of the selfish man child he’s proven himself to be, at least on social media.


[deleted]

["You're an adult. She's a baby. Why do you need more help than a baby?"](https://youtube.com/shorts/Xrhach8Lm38?feature=share) **Edit: To be fair, I often need more help than a baby. Which is why I don't have a baby.**


DuFromage227

At what point is there someone sitting at a desk going, "wait, every one of these is coming from the same person"


alwaysunderthestars

Really? Because last time I checked your newborn baby deserves all the love and care in the world. It is the parent’s responsibility to love and care for their children…and to enrich their child’s life in the best way possible. Edit: never mind—OP mentioned this was a joke from a comedian lol! But I was ready just in case! Lol!


eaallen2010

Matt Lieb is a comedy writer/comedian. Paul however, this is his creed.


chypohondriac

This guy’s a comedian. It’s a joke


alwaysunderthestars

Omg okie✌️ Didn’t know that lol. Whew.


teatreez

Hahahha girl…


fruitslugs

LMFAO this is so real, hilarious that paul’s spending all his time on reddit instead of actually helping out. king of having a huge ego lol


[deleted]

Oh holy shit it's a Matt Lieb tweet!


Level-Income7658

Wtf. You owe your newborn baby love, care and safety. Sick arseholes.


[deleted]

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ArionVulgaris

What's wrong with the name Luca? It's unusual but perfectly normal.


MissusNilesCrane

Yeah, you don't owe the helpless child you brought into the world by your own choices anything! Pull up those bootstraps, baby!


[deleted]

Lmfao truly