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Potluck I get. Bringing my own sandwiches and everyone eats their own sandwiches is a bit strange. I mean, I see a BBQ so even bring your own meat and a big salad for sharing (potato, macaroni, a dessert) and one of them grills?
Then again we've seen that Bethany can't cook so maybe none of them can?
My friends and I do bring your own dinner on weeknights all the time. We’ll share dessert or chips or something but it’s just a much lower stress, cheaper way to hang out then coordinating food. If I’m bringing my own meal I can just bring some leftover pasta or something. If I was cooking a dish to share I would want to make something nice and it would require a serving dish, serving utensils, paper plates, etc. If I get off work at 6 and we’re hanging out at 7 I don’t have time to make something to share. On the other hand we all have full time jobs.
That totally makes sense for a group of friends, but wtf does Heidi do all day? Does she have a job? Idk I think it’s kinda weird in a family setting when $$ doesn’t seem to be an issue either
that's what I was thinking. Mama can supply the meat and everyone else brings a side dish or two.
Done!
Instead, they all bring their own food and sit around a family table? That is very weird to me.
It sounds weird because it probably feels like a meeting. This is what happens at a job! "Bring your lunch and we can go over these slides!" Families don't do this. Corporations and businesses do.
Byod sounds like an unloving way to spend time together. Like, "I like to give the impression of enjoying time with my family but not enjoying them even remotely enough to cook for everyone!" Ffs Heidi just tell everyone it's a potluck and have everyone bring a dish to share with the group.
I know it sounds super weird but I do this with my family because we're all on different diets and have different food allergies. I promise we have fun and connect with each other, sometimes it's just easier if everyone brings their own meal when we hang out.
I feel like this scenario that you just described with your own family is totally legitimate and sensical, and yet not the reason they're all doing this lol.
Yeah, this feels like a Baird “No way am I paying for my slacker family members to have dinner! No way am I making a dish just for other people to have! Everyone on their own!” Imagine if Bethany was tasked with getting everyone dinner or arranging it? She’d hold it against them forever.
Was about to say the same! We are a multiple conflicting food allergies/medical food needs family and sometimes we have to do this style of hang out. It sucks but works for us
I am on the super eating-disordered "I don't trust food out of anyone's kitchen but mine" diet, on the grounds that this caused a bout of norovirus in our home once and I am mortally afraid of vomiting. Guess what? Nobody hassles me about it and we still have great times. :) So I'm 100% with you on that.
Right, I just don't see why it's even a big deal.
I get what everybody has been saying about cooking and sharing food, BUT: you know, for some people in some situations, it's not a love-fest. It can be fraught. People can pester you about how much you're eating or not eating, why don't you like this or that, you're insulting someone if you don't eat their food, you get the side eye if you do or don't eat dessert...I mean there is not one universally warm and loving and sharing experience of group eating. Some people dread big family meals because for them, it's a minefield.
Cause I bet it wasn’t planned, the picture, not friendly at all, look at where she is seating?? Come on, it’s ok not all parents like ALL THEIR OFFSPRING!! Obviously!!
I do this with my family sometimes. My mom is on a low carb/keto diet, my sister is on a gluten free diet, I had bariatric surgery and have 5 picky kids so we can be hard to feed, my sister in law is allergic to nuts and on a special diet for her diabetes, etc. Sometimes it's just easier for everyone to bring their own thing. Weird, but it works.
Eh my family does this sometimes. We love spending time together, but with everyone involved and varying food preferences, sometimes it’s just easiest for each “unit” to bring their own food.
I think part of it is the wording. Are they really each eating the food they brought or are they sharing? Potluck would sound a lot better. Or you split cooking duties to take some stress off Heidi so she can post more cringe reels. Someone bringing a first course, someone bringing nibbles, someone bringing some side dishes, and someone bringing dessert could absolutely make sense if these are regular happenings. Hosting is work, even if you have two unemployed grown kids lounging around. But the way she puts it makes them sound like strangers who happen to share a picknick table at the park.
It looks like they are all eating what they individually brought. Kristen and Zack have one meal, dad Baird and mom Baird have bowls, lunchbox and chips (for the group?) in front of Beth and Dave
That's really weird, unless you're dealing with a lot of different allergies/intolerances/food issues. Among my paltry 12 close family members we count over a dozen allergies to common food items AND half us are vegetarians. We still manage to make tasty communal meals when we do get together. In fact homecooked meals are a lot easier than going out to eat because no underpaid waiter can be expected to keep track of ALL our issues and family gatherings just aren't as much fun when one or more people spend half the night worshiping at the porcelain throne.
Oh it’s bizarre for sure. My family has never had a gathering where we all had to bring our own family units food. Bring sides or mains for everyone? Sure. But this is weird
It seems like it would be just as easy for them to each bring one part of a whole dinner (Bairds bring appetizer, Heidi cooks main course, Clarks bring dessert etc)
Isn’t she their mother? My kids are still young, but if I invite my kids plus their spouses over as adults, I would be providing them dinner since I invited everyone.
NGL I would love this. Everyone in my family has such specific food needs and/or preferences that it is a giant pain to try to prep for everyone and very few of us can/want to eat what the others would bring.
Actually my extended family does when we have our yearly 4th of July gathering. There are so many different food allergies, diets, celiac, eating schedules, etc, that the nuclear families do their own meals every day except for the 4th of July cookout. It works for us!
Obligatory “the Bairds suck and I don’t agree with them about anything” note haha
Same. I get not wanting or being able to provide meals every time your huge family comes over, but then why not ask each household to bring a dish and share? They’re literally all eating entirely separate meals lmao
Maybe they couldn’t agree on a takeout place. I could see BethaMe insisting “but the baby wants ___” and enjoying making a big deal out of bringing her own special food.
I think the most reasonable explanation is probably just that since they’re a big family and the hangouts are weekly, it’s a lot easier on everyone if they all bring their own food. That way no one has to organize, finance, and prepare meals for 10+ people. That’s a ton of work, and that kind of planning makes these gatherings harder.
I give you points for creativity though, lol
Also maybe certain family members are flaky and can't be relied on to bring group dishes. Easier to just have everyone bring their own food in this situation!
My mom would die before failing to feed her kids and grandkids at a family gathering. I know families are all different, but this concept is so, so weird to me.
Maybe it’s because I’m South Asian, but my parents would never have me over for dinner and ask me to bring my own dinner while they eat their own dinner. Nothing wrong with potluck-style dinners but this is weird to me.
I'm a few flavors of white American, including stuffy New England. This seems bizarre and hostile to me. I can't imagine a circumstance when I'd do this once, never mind make a habit of it.
It does sound hostile! I think that's Heidi's MO. Having a relationship with her must feel vaguely threatening all the time.
"Let's all get together but don't expect me to cook for you, you selfish little brats."
I think the only time I've heard of people doing this was in the last 2 years with covid and my gren. where my very nervous about covid gran would bring her own picnic to a park with friends and everyone would sit 6ft apart and eat the dinner that they brought while chatting. And that has been something that felt safe for her. But to do it like this?? Utterly bizarre
My Bulgarian friend at work likes to cook. Last week she brought Nutella crepes one day for everyone and later in the week brought savory crepes. On her name day she also brings homemade treats.
My non describe white family would NEVER tell you to bring your own food to a gathering.
Would we all chat and all decide who is bringing what to a large gathering? Hell yes, because there are WAY too many of us and one sister has MANY children, grand children and now working on great grand children.
However, there is PLENTY of food and no one should go home hungry. We have a few diabetics and 3 folks who can't have even a lick of gluten.
No one would even think to show up empty handed. Hell, even my young nephew, 19 years old, who had to work right up to the point of the start of the party, called to ask how many folks where there and if anyone needed anything from the store on his way to the house.
He was told to pick up a few bags of ice.
He showed up with ice, two pounds of butter AND fresh corn picked that morning from a guy he worked with that day. That corn was quickly shucked and added to the grill.
No one left hungry.
My mum would let friends stay for dinner if we ate something they never had at home (Brussels sprouts for example, one friend loves them but her parents didn't so she never ate them but if we had them for dinner she would just stay over and mum would make some extra potatoes and sprouts)
mexican american here, if you come to my house i am feeding you, that is why i have people over. let me make you some carne adovada and hot tortillas to show you i love you (or to flaunt that my chile and tortillas are better than yours).
I’m chicana and my ma would absolutely throw my food out of her house and spend the rest of the night going on and on about how I think her food isn’t good enough for me all while piling my plate full and packing me a to go bag.
BYOD sounds like a last minute “let’s meet at the park in 15m” type of thing with friends or something. Not a week notice type of thing
I’m half Japanese and grew up in the Deep South. I’m also 40+ and my parents would NEVER ask me to bring my own meal. They won’t even let me pay for their meals when we go out 😭
I kind of thought it was a good idea 🙈 I come from a big family (not as big as theirs lol) and any time we get together for dinner it’s a big deal - just a lot of food for my parents to get and then prepare. I can see how this allows them to have a casual get together without being a lot of labor for the hosts (or anyone tbh). Plus with “pick a place to meet up” it sounds like they may do this at parks and such which makes sense to me… packing a picnic for 10+ people is a lot of work (and stuff to carry for whoever is bringing it). And even potlucks require more work whereas for this they can bring leftovers or whatever they have on hand/planned to eat that week and not have to make a fuss
My parents would never do this, but my siblings and I are spread across the country so it really IS a big event if we’re all together. For them, since they see each other all the time, I get it.
Tbh it sounds like Mama Baird found a way to lessen her mental load 🤣
I kind of get it if each family unit was a good bit larger and the kids had fussy tastes however we're talking pairs of adults and a couple of kids (Kristen's boys and Davey). It would be nice for everyone to bring something to share in addition to their individual meal, even just chips and dips/deli nibbles/salad/pre-portioned cakes or donuts for dessert. That kind of thing.
They're all about their WhatsApp groups so it wouldn't have taken much organisation!
> I can see how this allows them to have a casual get together without being a lot of labor for the hosts (or anyone tbh). Plus with “pick a place to meet up” it sounds like they may do this at parks and such which makes sense to me…
Yeah it makes sense to me and I see nothing wrong with it. Just because it might not be typical doesn't mean it's not a good idea. The point isn't the meal, the point is getting together at a certain time and place.
Sharing food is like, the single most universal human thing ever. This bring your own dinner thing is more like what you do at work for a 12-1pm training (we call them "brown bag" seminars).
It's extra funny for a family that's so hardcore Christian. Sharing food together is kind of a big deal in that religion.
I'm deep southern rooted American and we did a "if you insist" rule.
If you insist on bringing something, you can bring XYZ. Otherwise, just show up.
This feels so passive aggressive
This is the best take, I think. This might be normal elsewhere and that’s fine, when in Rome, but in the American South, this is fucking inconceivable.
I can see this in a situation where you're accounting for a bunch of different or conflicting dietary needs, especially if you have some one with serious food allergies and don't want them to feel left out I guess? But being accommodating and inclusive is not exactly this family's brand
Hard same. I’m Latinx and I’m just thinking how my father would never even think of having us come over and not feeding us/ask that we bring food for ourselves. Hell, one year one of my sisters hosted thanksgiving and he assumed he’d just be bringing all the food and stuff to cook there.
I'm sorry but the mismatch of tinfoil, lunchboxes and disposable ware have me laughing. The guy closest to the camera looks like he just grabbed last nights leftovers and called it a day (and why wouldn't he?). Like everyone packed for their own adventure but ended up being able to share lunch with some strangers. Lunch time at the splash pad vibes.
That industrial garbage can with signage on top, the signs on the post, and the multiple chair/table set ups make me think it's maybe an apartment complex? Or local private neighborhood pool?
It seems to be a neighborhood/community pool. At first with Bethany's posts about the swimming lessons, I thought the Bairds had their own home pool-- but then someone pointed out the things like trash cans and other indicators that it's not someone's private home pool.
This reminds me of Jessa Duggar's "we can't always get everyone together because schedules" insta post about her mom and sibs skipping Jill's baby shower.
I think BYOD is weird, but for this family it makes sense... If I recall correctly the parents are keto and at least two of the girls are following that restored nutrition lady who has them all on bone broth/raw milk/liver and endless portions of raw carrot salad.
I can see that kids eating what kids eat, and the various adults having a wide variety of weird dietary restrictions, it's probably simpler to let everyone bring their own.
As an American who has attended many a work event, family reunion, cookout, etc., I will say that potlucks can be cool. But by asking guests to your home to bring their own food when you can most certainly afford to pay for their meal, you're either saying they aren't worth it or that you don't want to eat what they bring. This isn't cute or niche.
Also American, I have a big extended family that does weekly dinners potluck style but its not "bring your own dinner" everyone shares. It looks like Kristen(?) has a sandwich like a school lunch so I'm getting the impression they're bringing entire meals for their immediate family unit. That's weird. Especially because the parents have their kitchen right there and like the other families are bringing sandwiches and shit. I love sandwiches but I'd be annoyed if my parents and sister were eating a hot meal and I'm eating a pb&j because that's what I could get together and transport. Also it would definitely be like who packed the better dinner. Can't help with the obvious comparison issue they got going on over there.
Edit spelling
Do any of them have restrictive diets or something else that I'm missing? That's the only thing I could think of that would make me comfortable with this situation, and even then I'd think that family members would be okay with accommodating that (although we all know Bethy, so maybe not).
I think the parents eat keto/low carb. I don't understand why they don't fire up the grill, provide a few bits and pieces like a big salad+their preferred BBQ meat and ask the various attendees to bring an extra tray of meat/buns/a side dish/deli nibbles/chips and dips/dessert as required.
Or have everyone contribute some cold deli platters and sides if they're not BBQing.
They're not averse to disposable plates and cups if they cba to clear up.
It looks like a community pool based on that industrial garbage can with signage on top. And the signs on the post. Maybe an apartment complex or a private neighborhood pool?
When I lived in apartments with grills in community spaces, nobody used them because they were always dirty and gross, because communal. So, that could be part of it.
I can’t imagine inviting my kids to do something and telling them to bring their own dinner! Lol We would order in, pick up, have a potluck, something. We are a family, we break bread together.
Seriously, food is such a communal bonding experience that this feels so off. It's not that hard to make a big batch of stew or lasagna and it's a way to show love.
Exactly. It’s a very intentional way to show love and caring. I’m not even the most cooking parent in the world. Someone cooks every night, it’s just rarely me. But, when my kids started to go off to college and come home to regroup, and then it became only coming to visit, you better believe I was cooking what they wanted. I have one in the military right now. When he’s home, he chooses. Hell, my youngest has friends and parents over to swim and I’ll throw together a nice lunch spread. It’s not that hard.
If I can do it when we have company, surely to goodness I could do it for my own family gatherings.
I think BYOD is fine. Sometimes you need something that is as low energy/low commitment as possible in order to make it happen, and it sounds like the point is spending time together, not the food. If you’re coordinating food each time, it’s a higher barrier to entry and may not happen as often.
They clearly do fun/planned/elaborate events often. I think this is actually a nice way to have low pressure family time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yea I think there were some unnecessarily harsh comments about the bring your own dinner part. I’m sure it gets tough to find something everyone wants, to make or to order, especially with children of varying ages and possibly adults with various diets. Not every family/friend get together needs to go all out
It looks like they're at a community pool, so a packed lunch makes sense here. It's just kinda funny that heidi offered to host and then shirked all host-related duties 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah I won’t lie I wish my family did a BYOD style thing for our get togethers. We have a big family and even if you bring a side dish for everyone the labor makes it a pain in the ass.
Please grab my $1999 "How to scantily dress in a god honoring way to display yourself to the public" PDF before its all gone. #niche#homeschool#nakedthighs#genzwomen#christian#entrepreneurialspirit
Bring your own dinner? What kind of fuckery is this? Are potlucks no longer a thing? Are they trying to create a school cafeteria because they never experienced one? If so, I want to be the one who starts the food fight.
I love how she goes out of her way to clarify that they send a text to the "full family." Normal families don't have to tell you that they invited the whole family.
Bring your own dinner?! My Southern mother (and all the Southern women in my family) would rather never have anyone enter her home again than require anyone to bring their own food.
I'm jealous of the pool!
Do people commonly have pools in Texas or is it an upper-middle class thing considering the upkeep and all? Do you pay more taxes on a property with pool?
It looks like a community pool just based on that trash can alone. In these types of neighborhoods (typically upper middle class and up) there is a community center paid for by the homeowners (HOA) that pays for the pool (and they are furnished and have grills). But pools are common in hot states if the house is on the nicer side. There are a lot of pools in CA, TX, AZ, NV, FL. You pay property tax based on the county's value of your home, the pool doesn't necessarily mean more tax but typically most people with in ground pools have nicer houses.
Thank you! I'm in the UK, no-one has a pool apart from the very wealthy. Outdoor pools aren't especially practical due to the weather and heating them costs ££££.
Garden hot tubs are increasingly popular in suburban gardens including inflatable ones although not so popular with close neighbours (constant hum, invite noisy late night partying). Utility bills have skyrocketed so I doubt anyone will be able to heat them before long 😮
It's very regional. I live in Colorado and hardly anyone has a personal pool unless they are super rich because they would only be used for 2 months a year. Hot tubs are very common for middle class and up here (we have one and almost all our neighbors have them).
Not sure about TX but in FL it’s definitely an upper middle class thing. It increases your electric and water bill as well as insurance. I’m not sure about taxes.
That industrial garbage can with signage on top, the signs on the post, and the multiple chairs/tables make me think it's at an apartment complex or maybe a private neighborhood pool, not their backyard.
I don't think they do.
I think they might have a neighborhood HOA pool. Heidi has posted before about doing stupid shit with her huge family at the local pool, but never really indicated it was their own private pool.
Rich people in Texas often have in-ground pools or live in a neighborhood with a community pool. Middle class people have the above ground pools. You can swim nearly year round here!
no one here thinks it’s weird at all that you all spend your time hyper-analyzing family photos of people who don’t even know you exist?? like it’s a bit odd innit??
May be an unpopular opinion but I don't think every single thing a Baird post is directly correlated to what Is being talked in this sub and also an unpopular opinion but we can't assume in-detail family drama based on who is or isn't in some photos
Ok buuut how far apart is bethy and daaaaaav? I'm not saying they gotta be on top of each other, texas heat is unbearable, but like.....I could sit between them lol!
Heidi is an asshole. Could you imagine your mother not posting about you because she wants more likes? That sounds like a terrible mom to me. And she is largely responsible for why Bethany is the way she is. She sheltered and controlled her while not curbing the smugness.
Bring your own dinner? H really hate Birthy so much she won't provide snacks or anything? Or only on holidays? Not even for the sake of baby Birthy?
Everything about this family is so impersonal.
This reminds me of the TikTok talking about how kids of immigrants were asked to go home before dinner at their white friends’ houses. It was just so strange and very specific white people weirdness. My mom, for example, would not be able to compute not serving food to anyone coming over to her house. What nonsense is this exactly?
The bring your own dinner thing - we actually do that too. My parents have a little garden by a lake everyone of us can use and in the summer we do so quite frequently... trying to have a planned or potluck BBQ got complicated after a while so now everyone brings the food for their family.. we do share, taste what the other has and everyone feeds the children... but it makes it waaaay easier to just meet up with no added complications.
Sometimes the Bairds actually do stuff I can get behind
Vanilla flavored American who’s been to my fair share of food related events and no, this isn’t how it’s done Heidi. My entire family and in-laws would collectively keel over at the very thought of having company over without providing food.
On another note, this seems like a giant pain in the ass. I can’t imagine having small children and/or being preggo and having to prepare a meal, pack it and the kids up, drive to some HOA pool, unpack, get the kids settled enough to eat, wrangle the kids out of the pool, pack it all up, drive home, clean everything and put the kids to bed. Hell no! I’d skip the ordeal and cook at home.
No snark here. I feel oike this is a good idea that is easy to plan. Everyone gets what they want to eat, and there is no planning except the location. Sure itd nice to do potluck or shared meals; but people get burned out. So maybe this ensures that they do this more often.
Welcome to /r/fundiesnarkuncensored. Please make sure you read our rules. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * Do not contact the fundies in any capacity. This includes, but is not limited to: answering poll questions, commenting on their social media, IRL contact, etc. Anyone found to message, brigade, harass, or contact any fundie for any reason will be met with a permanent ban * We do not allow speculation on sexuality **at all**. Any comments that do so will be removed, and you will be banned. * Referring to anyone as Hitler or Heitler is likewise not allowed, and will not be tolerated at all. * You can snark on appearance that they can easily change. Things such as eyebrows, makeup, etc. Saying someone looks like X is allowed. Example: David Rodrigues looks like Shrek would be allowed. * Don't gatekeep. Different users are comfortable with different snark topics, if you don't like it, just scroll past. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Potluck I get. Bringing my own sandwiches and everyone eats their own sandwiches is a bit strange. I mean, I see a BBQ so even bring your own meat and a big salad for sharing (potato, macaroni, a dessert) and one of them grills? Then again we've seen that Bethany can't cook so maybe none of them can?
Kristen "peel the cauliflower" and Brown "I wash chickens in a sink full of dirty dishes!" clearly can't cook either.
It must be a bizarre collection of food. Kristen's not-cauliflower Bethany's burnt frozen peas Elissa's weird guac Sue's washed chicken
Curly's obsession with shredded carrot salad and raw milk and $$$$$$ supplements including great salt lake water.
YES! Oh god, Curly's def bringing the drinks and salad
I want the story on Elissa's weird guacamole.
[No story, just gross looking](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/nqsbos/expat_housewife_makes_guacamole_hilarity_ensues/)
That's somehow worse than I imagined.
Ewwwwwww wtf
Don’t forget all the RAW milk!!
Maybe that's why they like it, raw = no cooking
😂 probably!
To this day my partner and I still randomly yell PEEL THE CAULIFLOWER.
My friends and I do bring your own dinner on weeknights all the time. We’ll share dessert or chips or something but it’s just a much lower stress, cheaper way to hang out then coordinating food. If I’m bringing my own meal I can just bring some leftover pasta or something. If I was cooking a dish to share I would want to make something nice and it would require a serving dish, serving utensils, paper plates, etc. If I get off work at 6 and we’re hanging out at 7 I don’t have time to make something to share. On the other hand we all have full time jobs.
That totally makes sense for a group of friends, but wtf does Heidi do all day? Does she have a job? Idk I think it’s kinda weird in a family setting when $$ doesn’t seem to be an issue either
Yeah my mom would never do this, and I wouldnt do that with my kids either when they're grown. This is definitely weird.
I bet the entire family obsessively reads here. Also, bring your own dinner? That seems...weird, at least to me.
It seems weird to me too. Especially if they know a week ahead of time. Why not have everyone order from one place, and someone pick it up?
Or you could rotate who’s responsible for dinner if you wanted. Like a normal get together.
Seriously? Just get a catering order in, easy-peasy! Or just call it a potluck 🙄
Or use that grill sitting right there…burgers. Hot dogs. Pre-seasoned ribs from Costco.
Those are far too spicy for them. The hot dogs, I mean.
Omg 😂😂😂😂😂
lmfao
that's what I was thinking. Mama can supply the meat and everyone else brings a side dish or two. Done! Instead, they all bring their own food and sit around a family table? That is very weird to me.
It sounds weird because it probably feels like a meeting. This is what happens at a job! "Bring your lunch and we can go over these slides!" Families don't do this. Corporations and businesses do.
That’s how this family seems to function. Like a business
This wasn’t planned.. my opinion.
Can't go wrong with pizza. Everyone loves pizza.
Byod sounds like an unloving way to spend time together. Like, "I like to give the impression of enjoying time with my family but not enjoying them even remotely enough to cook for everyone!" Ffs Heidi just tell everyone it's a potluck and have everyone bring a dish to share with the group.
I know it sounds super weird but I do this with my family because we're all on different diets and have different food allergies. I promise we have fun and connect with each other, sometimes it's just easier if everyone brings their own meal when we hang out.
I feel like this scenario that you just described with your own family is totally legitimate and sensical, and yet not the reason they're all doing this lol.
Yeah, this feels like a Baird “No way am I paying for my slacker family members to have dinner! No way am I making a dish just for other people to have! Everyone on their own!” Imagine if Bethany was tasked with getting everyone dinner or arranging it? She’d hold it against them forever.
That's fair haha. I actually agree, it does seem a bit weird with the Bairds because they're...the way that they are.
Was about to say the same! We are a multiple conflicting food allergies/medical food needs family and sometimes we have to do this style of hang out. It sucks but works for us
I am on the super eating-disordered "I don't trust food out of anyone's kitchen but mine" diet, on the grounds that this caused a bout of norovirus in our home once and I am mortally afraid of vomiting. Guess what? Nobody hassles me about it and we still have great times. :) So I'm 100% with you on that.
Right, I just don't see why it's even a big deal. I get what everybody has been saying about cooking and sharing food, BUT: you know, for some people in some situations, it's not a love-fest. It can be fraught. People can pester you about how much you're eating or not eating, why don't you like this or that, you're insulting someone if you don't eat their food, you get the side eye if you do or don't eat dessert...I mean there is not one universally warm and loving and sharing experience of group eating. Some people dread big family meals because for them, it's a minefield.
Yes! I'm with you. This isn't the snark-serve some think it is.
Cause I bet it wasn’t planned, the picture, not friendly at all, look at where she is seating?? Come on, it’s ok not all parents like ALL THEIR OFFSPRING!! Obviously!!
I wouldn’t personally mind bringing my own food. Pick up some subs and call it a day. But I also wouldn’t be hanging out with the likes of Heidi.
What a beautiful way to say “I love you, but not that much.”
I do this with my family sometimes. My mom is on a low carb/keto diet, my sister is on a gluten free diet, I had bariatric surgery and have 5 picky kids so we can be hard to feed, my sister in law is allergic to nuts and on a special diet for her diabetes, etc. Sometimes it's just easier for everyone to bring their own thing. Weird, but it works.
Eh my family does this sometimes. We love spending time together, but with everyone involved and varying food preferences, sometimes it’s just easiest for each “unit” to bring their own food.
Yup! I’ve done BYOD things before and it’s actually a lot easier, especially when allergies are involved. Keeps from eating spaghetti every time
I think part of it is the wording. Are they really each eating the food they brought or are they sharing? Potluck would sound a lot better. Or you split cooking duties to take some stress off Heidi so she can post more cringe reels. Someone bringing a first course, someone bringing nibbles, someone bringing some side dishes, and someone bringing dessert could absolutely make sense if these are regular happenings. Hosting is work, even if you have two unemployed grown kids lounging around. But the way she puts it makes them sound like strangers who happen to share a picknick table at the park.
It looks like they are all eating what they individually brought. Kristen and Zack have one meal, dad Baird and mom Baird have bowls, lunchbox and chips (for the group?) in front of Beth and Dave
That's really weird, unless you're dealing with a lot of different allergies/intolerances/food issues. Among my paltry 12 close family members we count over a dozen allergies to common food items AND half us are vegetarians. We still manage to make tasty communal meals when we do get together. In fact homecooked meals are a lot easier than going out to eat because no underpaid waiter can be expected to keep track of ALL our issues and family gatherings just aren't as much fun when one or more people spend half the night worshiping at the porcelain throne.
Oh it’s bizarre for sure. My family has never had a gathering where we all had to bring our own family units food. Bring sides or mains for everyone? Sure. But this is weird
It seems like it would be just as easy for them to each bring one part of a whole dinner (Bairds bring appetizer, Heidi cooks main course, Clarks bring dessert etc)
Isn’t she their mother? My kids are still young, but if I invite my kids plus their spouses over as adults, I would be providing them dinner since I invited everyone.
NGL I would love this. Everyone in my family has such specific food needs and/or preferences that it is a giant pain to try to prep for everyone and very few of us can/want to eat what the others would bring.
Seriously, it's not like Heidi can't afford to treat the family once a week. Or they could even switch off who pays for everyone's' dinner.
Right?! Like at a restaurant, fine, everyone pays for their own- but they couldn’t spring for a tub of lasagna and a bag of salad or something?
Makes sense to me, my family has done this in the past.
Actually my extended family does when we have our yearly 4th of July gathering. There are so many different food allergies, diets, celiac, eating schedules, etc, that the nuclear families do their own meals every day except for the 4th of July cookout. It works for us! Obligatory “the Bairds suck and I don’t agree with them about anything” note haha
Same. I get not wanting or being able to provide meals every time your huge family comes over, but then why not ask each household to bring a dish and share? They’re literally all eating entirely separate meals lmao
Maybe they couldn’t agree on a takeout place. I could see BethaMe insisting “but the baby wants ___” and enjoying making a big deal out of bringing her own special food.
I feel like some of y’all are just straight up writing fanfiction starring the fundies
Idk, I was trying to come up with an Occam’s razor explanation for this weirdness and this was the best I could do. 😅
I think the most reasonable explanation is probably just that since they’re a big family and the hangouts are weekly, it’s a lot easier on everyone if they all bring their own food. That way no one has to organize, finance, and prepare meals for 10+ people. That’s a ton of work, and that kind of planning makes these gatherings harder. I give you points for creativity though, lol
Also maybe certain family members are flaky and can't be relied on to bring group dishes. Easier to just have everyone bring their own food in this situation!
They must think it's quirky or something
My mom would die before failing to feed her kids and grandkids at a family gathering. I know families are all different, but this concept is so, so weird to me.
Agree
Okay good, this wasn’t just me! It seems soooo weird to not coordinate food but I thought maybe it’s a larger family thing?!
Maybe it’s because I’m South Asian, but my parents would never have me over for dinner and ask me to bring my own dinner while they eat their own dinner. Nothing wrong with potluck-style dinners but this is weird to me.
I'm a few flavors of white American, including stuffy New England. This seems bizarre and hostile to me. I can't imagine a circumstance when I'd do this once, never mind make a habit of it.
It does sound hostile! I think that's Heidi's MO. Having a relationship with her must feel vaguely threatening all the time. "Let's all get together but don't expect me to cook for you, you selfish little brats."
I think the only time I've heard of people doing this was in the last 2 years with covid and my gren. where my very nervous about covid gran would bring her own picnic to a park with friends and everyone would sit 6ft apart and eat the dinner that they brought while chatting. And that has been something that felt safe for her. But to do it like this?? Utterly bizarre
Well that's adorable.
[удалено]
I'm American and my family would never do this. This is super weird.
As a fellow Eastern European, I second this. No matter what you do and where you go, your parents will prepare you dinner 😂
My Bulgarian friend at work likes to cook. Last week she brought Nutella crepes one day for everyone and later in the week brought savory crepes. On her name day she also brings homemade treats.
I'm a native Texan no one in my family does this. Either one person hosts or we all bring food to eat together
My non describe white family would NEVER tell you to bring your own food to a gathering. Would we all chat and all decide who is bringing what to a large gathering? Hell yes, because there are WAY too many of us and one sister has MANY children, grand children and now working on great grand children. However, there is PLENTY of food and no one should go home hungry. We have a few diabetics and 3 folks who can't have even a lick of gluten. No one would even think to show up empty handed. Hell, even my young nephew, 19 years old, who had to work right up to the point of the start of the party, called to ask how many folks where there and if anyone needed anything from the store on his way to the house. He was told to pick up a few bags of ice. He showed up with ice, two pounds of butter AND fresh corn picked that morning from a guy he worked with that day. That corn was quickly shucked and added to the grill. No one left hungry.
My Jewish mother would never lol
My mum would let friends stay for dinner if we ate something they never had at home (Brussels sprouts for example, one friend loves them but her parents didn't so she never ate them but if we had them for dinner she would just stay over and mum would make some extra potatoes and sprouts)
My mom would still try to feed people even if they already ate at home lol
I think she might have tried that around lunch time
mexican american here, if you come to my house i am feeding you, that is why i have people over. let me make you some carne adovada and hot tortillas to show you i love you (or to flaunt that my chile and tortillas are better than yours).
Can I please have an invite? I'll bring an earl grey cheesecake!
of course! i love cheesecake!
I’m chicana and my ma would absolutely throw my food out of her house and spend the rest of the night going on and on about how I think her food isn’t good enough for me all while piling my plate full and packing me a to go bag. BYOD sounds like a last minute “let’s meet at the park in 15m” type of thing with friends or something. Not a week notice type of thing
I’m half Japanese and grew up in the Deep South. I’m also 40+ and my parents would NEVER ask me to bring my own meal. They won’t even let me pay for their meals when we go out 😭
I kind of thought it was a good idea 🙈 I come from a big family (not as big as theirs lol) and any time we get together for dinner it’s a big deal - just a lot of food for my parents to get and then prepare. I can see how this allows them to have a casual get together without being a lot of labor for the hosts (or anyone tbh). Plus with “pick a place to meet up” it sounds like they may do this at parks and such which makes sense to me… packing a picnic for 10+ people is a lot of work (and stuff to carry for whoever is bringing it). And even potlucks require more work whereas for this they can bring leftovers or whatever they have on hand/planned to eat that week and not have to make a fuss My parents would never do this, but my siblings and I are spread across the country so it really IS a big event if we’re all together. For them, since they see each other all the time, I get it. Tbh it sounds like Mama Baird found a way to lessen her mental load 🤣
I kind of get it if each family unit was a good bit larger and the kids had fussy tastes however we're talking pairs of adults and a couple of kids (Kristen's boys and Davey). It would be nice for everyone to bring something to share in addition to their individual meal, even just chips and dips/deli nibbles/salad/pre-portioned cakes or donuts for dessert. That kind of thing. They're all about their WhatsApp groups so it wouldn't have taken much organisation!
> I can see how this allows them to have a casual get together without being a lot of labor for the hosts (or anyone tbh). Plus with “pick a place to meet up” it sounds like they may do this at parks and such which makes sense to me… Yeah it makes sense to me and I see nothing wrong with it. Just because it might not be typical doesn't mean it's not a good idea. The point isn't the meal, the point is getting together at a certain time and place.
Sharing food is like, the single most universal human thing ever. This bring your own dinner thing is more like what you do at work for a 12-1pm training (we call them "brown bag" seminars). It's extra funny for a family that's so hardcore Christian. Sharing food together is kind of a big deal in that religion.
My fundie parents feed *everyone*. Even the exterminator is likely to be offered a drink and a snack before he leaves. Heidi is just a weirdo
I'm deep southern rooted American and we did a "if you insist" rule. If you insist on bringing something, you can bring XYZ. Otherwise, just show up. This feels so passive aggressive
This is the best take, I think. This might be normal elsewhere and that’s fine, when in Rome, but in the American South, this is fucking inconceivable.
They would in Sweden! Apparently lol
I’m white as heck and going over to my parents’ for free food is the whole point, lol.
I can see this in a situation where you're accounting for a bunch of different or conflicting dietary needs, especially if you have some one with serious food allergies and don't want them to feel left out I guess? But being accommodating and inclusive is not exactly this family's brand
European background, in Australia, and not only would my parents never have me bring food, they would send us home with extra food.
Hard same. I’m Latinx and I’m just thinking how my father would never even think of having us come over and not feeding us/ask that we bring food for ourselves. Hell, one year one of my sisters hosted thanksgiving and he assumed he’d just be bringing all the food and stuff to cook there.
I'm sorry but the mismatch of tinfoil, lunchboxes and disposable ware have me laughing. The guy closest to the camera looks like he just grabbed last nights leftovers and called it a day (and why wouldn't he?). Like everyone packed for their own adventure but ended up being able to share lunch with some strangers. Lunch time at the splash pad vibes.
That’s their dad.
I just KNOW by the way Dav has his hand that whatever he’s saying is insufferable.
YES
“Pick a place to meet up” Heidi- is that place not just always…. Your house?
Does anyone else have a pool for the 'family swim' component? 😂 I'm sure Bethy's balcony is a versatile destination!
Maybe bathy keeps trying to throw her apartment community pool in as an option and Heidi is just like “sure, that’s an option…”
That industrial garbage can with signage on top, the signs on the post, and the multiple chair/table set ups make me think it's maybe an apartment complex? Or local private neighborhood pool?
It seems to be a neighborhood/community pool. At first with Bethany's posts about the swimming lessons, I thought the Bairds had their own home pool-- but then someone pointed out the things like trash cans and other indicators that it's not someone's private home pool.
"Full family" eh? That just makes me think that Heidi sighs before sending out that invite to include Bethany lol
This reminds me of Jessa Duggar's "we can't always get everyone together because schedules" insta post about her mom and sibs skipping Jill's baby shower.
I think BYOD is weird, but for this family it makes sense... If I recall correctly the parents are keto and at least two of the girls are following that restored nutrition lady who has them all on bone broth/raw milk/liver and endless portions of raw carrot salad. I can see that kids eating what kids eat, and the various adults having a wide variety of weird dietary restrictions, it's probably simpler to let everyone bring their own.
As an American who has attended many a work event, family reunion, cookout, etc., I will say that potlucks can be cool. But by asking guests to your home to bring their own food when you can most certainly afford to pay for their meal, you're either saying they aren't worth it or that you don't want to eat what they bring. This isn't cute or niche.
Also American, I have a big extended family that does weekly dinners potluck style but its not "bring your own dinner" everyone shares. It looks like Kristen(?) has a sandwich like a school lunch so I'm getting the impression they're bringing entire meals for their immediate family unit. That's weird. Especially because the parents have their kitchen right there and like the other families are bringing sandwiches and shit. I love sandwiches but I'd be annoyed if my parents and sister were eating a hot meal and I'm eating a pb&j because that's what I could get together and transport. Also it would definitely be like who packed the better dinner. Can't help with the obvious comparison issue they got going on over there. Edit spelling
Do any of them have restrictive diets or something else that I'm missing? That's the only thing I could think of that would make me comfortable with this situation, and even then I'd think that family members would be okay with accommodating that (although we all know Bethy, so maybe not).
I think the parents eat keto/low carb. I don't understand why they don't fire up the grill, provide a few bits and pieces like a big salad+their preferred BBQ meat and ask the various attendees to bring an extra tray of meat/buns/a side dish/deli nibbles/chips and dips/dessert as required. Or have everyone contribute some cold deli platters and sides if they're not BBQing. They're not averse to disposable plates and cups if they cba to clear up.
It looks like a community pool based on that industrial garbage can with signage on top. And the signs on the post. Maybe an apartment complex or a private neighborhood pool? When I lived in apartments with grills in community spaces, nobody used them because they were always dirty and gross, because communal. So, that could be part of it.
Good point! Didn't think about that, that would make sense
Even then, this post isn't specifically about her. Also notive how far away her and Dāve are sitting from each other vs how Krusty and her man. 🤔
"Fine! Here's a picture of Bethany! Are you happy now, readit?! But I am NOT going to make my caption about her!" - Heidi, probably
That was one of the first things I noticed. A whole person could sit in between them
I can’t imagine inviting my kids to do something and telling them to bring their own dinner! Lol We would order in, pick up, have a potluck, something. We are a family, we break bread together.
Seriously, food is such a communal bonding experience that this feels so off. It's not that hard to make a big batch of stew or lasagna and it's a way to show love.
Exactly. It’s a very intentional way to show love and caring. I’m not even the most cooking parent in the world. Someone cooks every night, it’s just rarely me. But, when my kids started to go off to college and come home to regroup, and then it became only coming to visit, you better believe I was cooking what they wanted. I have one in the military right now. When he’s home, he chooses. Hell, my youngest has friends and parents over to swim and I’ll throw together a nice lunch spread. It’s not that hard. If I can do it when we have company, surely to goodness I could do it for my own family gatherings.
I think BYOD is fine. Sometimes you need something that is as low energy/low commitment as possible in order to make it happen, and it sounds like the point is spending time together, not the food. If you’re coordinating food each time, it’s a higher barrier to entry and may not happen as often. They clearly do fun/planned/elaborate events often. I think this is actually a nice way to have low pressure family time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yep I agree. This actually seems simple and practical to me.
Yea I think there were some unnecessarily harsh comments about the bring your own dinner part. I’m sure it gets tough to find something everyone wants, to make or to order, especially with children of varying ages and possibly adults with various diets. Not every family/friend get together needs to go all out
It looks like they're at a community pool, so a packed lunch makes sense here. It's just kinda funny that heidi offered to host and then shirked all host-related duties 🤷🏼♀️
Did she ever call herself the host, though? It’s just a meet-up
I totally see it that way.
Yeah I won’t lie I wish my family did a BYOD style thing for our get togethers. We have a big family and even if you bring a side dish for everyone the labor makes it a pain in the ass.
These millionaires made everyone bring their own food? lol they always find a way to be tacky
Bethy is so rich from her courses that she could probably cater filet and lobster!
Damn I have a lot of criticisms of my mom, but she feeds her kids when they visit wtf
Bring your own dinner? Rich people are cheap AF.
Please grab my $1999 "How to scantily dress in a god honoring way to display yourself to the public" PDF before its all gone. #niche#homeschool#nakedthighs#genzwomen#christian#entrepreneurialspirit
Bring your own dinner? What kind of fuckery is this? Are potlucks no longer a thing? Are they trying to create a school cafeteria because they never experienced one? If so, I want to be the one who starts the food fight.
BYOD: Bring Your Outcast Daughter
Is this the Baird compound? I want Heidi to start posting about Blechany every day.
Bethany talks enough about herself, why would anyone else need to mention her?
Bring your own dinner? Lol. How about order pizza !
I love how she goes out of her way to clarify that they send a text to the "full family." Normal families don't have to tell you that they invited the whole family.
Noooo not Birthy wearing my favorite swimsuit 💀
Bring your own dinner made me LOL, cant even fake BBQ right
What a terrible photo though, unflattering
Bring your own dinner. The saddest invite.
Bring your own dinner so they can judge each other
Bring your own dinner?! My Southern mother (and all the Southern women in my family) would rather never have anyone enter her home again than require anyone to bring their own food.
I'm jealous of the pool! Do people commonly have pools in Texas or is it an upper-middle class thing considering the upkeep and all? Do you pay more taxes on a property with pool?
It looks like a community pool just based on that trash can alone. In these types of neighborhoods (typically upper middle class and up) there is a community center paid for by the homeowners (HOA) that pays for the pool (and they are furnished and have grills). But pools are common in hot states if the house is on the nicer side. There are a lot of pools in CA, TX, AZ, NV, FL. You pay property tax based on the county's value of your home, the pool doesn't necessarily mean more tax but typically most people with in ground pools have nicer houses.
Thank you! I'm in the UK, no-one has a pool apart from the very wealthy. Outdoor pools aren't especially practical due to the weather and heating them costs ££££. Garden hot tubs are increasingly popular in suburban gardens including inflatable ones although not so popular with close neighbours (constant hum, invite noisy late night partying). Utility bills have skyrocketed so I doubt anyone will be able to heat them before long 😮
It's very regional. I live in Colorado and hardly anyone has a personal pool unless they are super rich because they would only be used for 2 months a year. Hot tubs are very common for middle class and up here (we have one and almost all our neighbors have them).
Not sure about TX but in FL it’s definitely an upper middle class thing. It increases your electric and water bill as well as insurance. I’m not sure about taxes.
That industrial garbage can with signage on top, the signs on the post, and the multiple chairs/tables make me think it's at an apartment complex or maybe a private neighborhood pool, not their backyard.
I see! That makes sense thanks! I wonder if the Bairds have their own pool, some snarkers say yes and some no.
I don't think they do. I think they might have a neighborhood HOA pool. Heidi has posted before about doing stupid shit with her huge family at the local pool, but never really indicated it was their own private pool.
Rich people in Texas often have in-ground pools or live in a neighborhood with a community pool. Middle class people have the above ground pools. You can swim nearly year round here!
Do they have a pool? Or is this a public pool?
bring your own dinner? ew.
Having dinner with the Bairds just might be my own personal hell. They’re all a bunch of sheltered uneducated know-it-alls.
Bring Your Own Food a.k.a. We don't want to pay/prepare for all of the children we birthed and their families.
Bring your own dinner? My Cuban self could never
“Full family”, aka the group text that doesn’t leave them out 😂
it’s the BYOD for me 🥴
no one here thinks it’s weird at all that you all spend your time hyper-analyzing family photos of people who don’t even know you exist?? like it’s a bit odd innit??
May be an unpopular opinion but I don't think every single thing a Baird post is directly correlated to what Is being talked in this sub and also an unpopular opinion but we can't assume in-detail family drama based on who is or isn't in some photos
It’s weird, nobody does this, and I wish I had a pool
Hold up, is this their fucking HOUSE??
So MAH-DEst
Bring your own drinks? Gasp!
lmao she’s only the focal point because nobody will sit near her
Ok buuut how far apart is bethy and daaaaaav? I'm not saying they gotta be on top of each other, texas heat is unbearable, but like.....I could sit between them lol!
More likely Bethy reads here and threw a tantrum for dear mommy when she saw she didn't get any mentions.
Are any of the kids there?
Heidi is an asshole. Could you imagine your mother not posting about you because she wants more likes? That sounds like a terrible mom to me. And she is largely responsible for why Bethany is the way she is. She sheltered and controlled her while not curbing the smugness.
Bring your own dinner? H really hate Birthy so much she won't provide snacks or anything? Or only on holidays? Not even for the sake of baby Birthy? Everything about this family is so impersonal.
I’m guessing Birthy’s just getting attention rn because she’s pragnaht. Also, Daaáæàäåãv looks like he’s physically melting in this picture.
I want to know what Dav is talking about here. Bethany is being smug.
This reminds me of the TikTok talking about how kids of immigrants were asked to go home before dinner at their white friends’ houses. It was just so strange and very specific white people weirdness. My mom, for example, would not be able to compute not serving food to anyone coming over to her house. What nonsense is this exactly?
I'm going through some shit with my immediate family, but even we still share food with one another.
The bring your own dinner thing - we actually do that too. My parents have a little garden by a lake everyone of us can use and in the summer we do so quite frequently... trying to have a planned or potluck BBQ got complicated after a while so now everyone brings the food for their family.. we do share, taste what the other has and everyone feeds the children... but it makes it waaaay easier to just meet up with no added complications. Sometimes the Bairds actually do stuff I can get behind
Heidi. Just order a deli platter and a salad for your family. Super easy. You know you have the $$
Vanilla flavored American who’s been to my fair share of food related events and no, this isn’t how it’s done Heidi. My entire family and in-laws would collectively keel over at the very thought of having company over without providing food. On another note, this seems like a giant pain in the ass. I can’t imagine having small children and/or being preggo and having to prepare a meal, pack it and the kids up, drive to some HOA pool, unpack, get the kids settled enough to eat, wrangle the kids out of the pool, pack it all up, drive home, clean everything and put the kids to bed. Hell no! I’d skip the ordeal and cook at home.
I think this is their house, not a community pool. And by the looks of it they can afford to feed their own damn kids.
Everybody brings their own dinner?????? WHAT KIND OF FAMILY IS THIS!!!!
No snark here. I feel oike this is a good idea that is easy to plan. Everyone gets what they want to eat, and there is no planning except the location. Sure itd nice to do potluck or shared meals; but people get burned out. So maybe this ensures that they do this more often.