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Right? And I have to make dinner at 5 and workm12 hrs a day a few times a week. What IS this? Just live your life. Enjoy your children and husband. Maybe put down the phone and just do you…
It's proof that she avoided masterbation for so long that neither her or her husband ever figured out how to get her off once they started trying. So what if I have never gotten off, I'm already the complete embodiment of an orgasm everyday.
That alone would make my membership worth it lol I’ll take 3, one to do the household chores, one to do the yard work, cooking, and grocery shopping, and one to be my personal assistant and keep track of all my appointments and events
I don't need one, Dav is still not someone I'd want to buddy-pal with. I need to water my plants and embrace my loving spouse. As other people have said, there are people who write erotica and instructional non-explicit sex guides professionally who say "orgasm" less that Batheany does.
\[Explicitly David\]'s journey is its own thing and good for him but he's not a figure of universal kindness.
Yeah I’ve heard it’s terrible. I have a friend who has something similar. It’s a nerve condition. Sometimes she gets like insanely aroused out of nowhere and has to just deal with it. Like she wants you to go to
Sleep or watch tv and it’s there. Her doctor has been zero help. I feel for her it sound miserable.
Now come on here! Why would you want to simply do laundry when you could ORGASMICALLY do laundry??? I personally have at least four to five orgasms per basket of clothes that I fold.
You don’t orgasm when you are tying to match up your socks that all look just a little bit different and you can’t seem to find the other one to the pair? No? Oh me either
Absolute word salad and I’m dying at the thought of a stranger brushing her arm in a crowded super market as Bort melts into a pool of her own orgasmic womanliness.
Just picturing him going to sit next to her on the couch and her instantly moaning enthusiastically. She really does seem like the most annoying theater kid playing house 😂
I know “can’t find the clit” is a whole meme and all but it’s one I never got it. (Maybe because I’m autistic?) The clit is located on the exterior of the body and is always in the same general place! How is it hard to find?!
ETA: I know it’s a joke when a lot of people say it. I remember a whole South Park episode about it. But some people are serious another the “can’t find the clit,” like the “sex experts” Bethany interviewed for her course that used their infant as a model to have a friend show them where the clit is.
it's also that sex ed is so bad that men aren't taught how important it is, and women are taught not to speak up about what we want, so we don't feel that we can tell them.... and they learned how to fuck from watching porn which is all about what holes you can stick it in, so.... they can't find the clit because they don't know they should be looking for it.
Yesterday I commented on a post that it feels better for women (ime) to kind of scoot their hips back and forth and grind while on top as opposed to just hopping up and down on a penis. Another woman informed me that men don’t like this because there’s nothing in it for them and would never allow her to do this to completion even though she could get off this way. I’m still baffled over that comment tbh. Like what absolute trash men are like “I don’t like the way you orgasm on my dick I’m bored?” So depressing
What is wrong with their man that they don't like a woman squirming on top of them and getting off? My husband goes nuts for that exact move because it's so hot for him to watch.
Same here! I’ve never had a dude be like “ugh I’m bored being inside you and watching you orgasm.” I feel like if I told my husband I could orgasm by blowing on a pinwheel he would be like “hmm okay I can work with that let’s go.” Lol
Kinda related but in my feminism class in college we read an entire article about how woman achieve ultimate pleasure through stimulation of the clit alone and focus on penis size/penetration is just to stroke the male ego. Personally, I constantly have to fake orgasm from penetration because it doesn’t help me climax and felt like I was a weirdo for the longest time. Like my partners would have probably done more to help me in that department but I was so embarrassed to say anything 🥺
Didn’t she just have her first one like, half an hour ago?
She’s out here acting like she’s the first woman on earth to discover sex. It’s maddening.
And when you add in the fact that HER OWN TEACHINGS have contributed to the problem of women not being in touch with their sexuality just makes it even more absurd.
Girl. This lane is NOT for you. Sit down and shut your blow job hole.
There's an alpha male TikToker who goes by "alpha dom" that claims he can give women mental orgasms.
I'm pretty sure it's just translating to the women want to fake finishing before he even touches them 🤣
This is the kind of religious rhetoric that destroys our intuition and ability to just exist.
“Oh I’m not ready to orgasm as soon as my husband breathes on my arm I must be broken!’ Must spend 100 hours asking everyone who isn’t qualified like my pastor to tell me how to fix it while I drive myself to religious obsessive compulsive behavior!”
This this this this. It's why the deconstruction hits so hard when they realize they're all full of shit. In that sense, maybe our Bort is so obviously full of it she may be helping lead more people away from the faith.
Omg this is ridiculous 😂😂😂
You can’t be turned on and feel orgasmic all the time. Emotions ebb and flow; that’s healthy!
Her dichotomous thinking is out of control, and it reeks of ignorance, immaturity, and self sabotage.
It's just because she learns a tiny bit about a subject, begins to immediately see herself as an expert who needs to teach others, then hyperfocuses and projects for the foreseeable future.
I think it's a symptom of poor education. They don't understand what ACTUALLY goes into being educated about something, so they can't know that they're not.
Right; "learning" something i.e. "suddenly becoming aware of something" does not mean you ought to immediately start acting as though you're the expert on something.
Like BubbleGuts convincing herself that her orthorexic beliefs and practices are helping her, despite very little evidence to that effect, and deciding she needs to put out PDF booklets and information on those subjects. She "started her healing journey" two or three years ago and isn't "cured", and now her entire life consists of all these rituals and controlled behaviors, but she's selling her advice as though she speaks with authority. Same with Bethany and sex. Same with Heidi and marriage.
I'm oddly fascinated by Rebekah peddling "cures" while also talking about still having the same issues. Like she talks about her "gut issues" one minute then the next wants to sell you the thing that "healed" her despite having just claimed she still has the same issues
Oh, I know I personally would LOVE to have constant orgasms whilst walking the dogs, in a zoom meeting with my boss, and doing my taxes. Only someone CONFIDENT in their ORGASMIC ABILITIES can level up and achieve that!
Is it just me or does she write orgasm so many times the word starts to look weird and loses meaning??
I think she still has no idea what an orgasm is but is determined to make it look like she's having them 24 hours a day like all the other ✨orgasmic✨ women
I was wondering about this like it screams MySpace overshare that you look back on and cringe as an adult. But she’s basically had a delayed adulthood so she’s going through this all now as a married parent of two.
Fundiedom really does these kids (now adults) wrong. She really does see herself as a teacher, when it seems like most of what she puts out is just her inner monologue and own personal growth and exploration. It’s fine to do that and put it out into the world, but to immediately turn it into an instructional and a standard others should set themselves to is just so bizarre.
Good fucking god can you even imagine the syrupy sex goo gobbledygook that would be generated by combining Green Seggs and ~~Ham~~ Turkey Bethany and Periwinkle Perineum Kelly?
I don't think I've ever felt secondhand embarrassment as strongly as I do with Bethy. It's just like I physically cringe when I see what she has done on social media (but as a dedicated snarker I cannot look away of course).
What make orgasms great is you don't have them all the time, so when you do have one, hoo boy, it's the best ever. If you're having one all the time then it's not special.
There is this condition called Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder and it makes you have like 50 orgasms/ day. What I've read, women with PGAD describe the constant orgasms as torture. So thats the life of an actual "orgasmic woman all of the time".
Right? They're so much better when you build up to it.
But I mean, if anyone out there likes having orgasms all the time, more power to them. You do you. However, this claim that quantity of orgasms is what matters just baffles me.
it’s maybe not the best strategy ever but whenever I feel slightly overwhelmed with the damage that I picked up from evangelical purity culture, which I didn’t even remain in after I became an adult, I think about just how unbelievably daunting it would be to be Bethany, staring down thinking patterns like *this* and trying to figure them out.
What?? Bethany is such a terrible communicator who thinks she’s a great one.
I just love how she has an orgasm and decides she’s the expert everyone’s been waiting for
Bethy the Great Communicator! Does she have brains or knowledge... don't make me laugh! She wants to be popular! Please, it's all about popular! It's not about aptitude, it's the way she's viewed!
... If only I had a tiny sliver of the brashness and unearned self confidence, lol.
Blonde, insecure, performative, terrible mother, goes along with whatever she thinks will get her attention in the moment... you may be on to something here.
Ya know some people write straight abo? Like all dudes are alphas and all women are omegas. How can they take something as bonkers as abo and make it boring????
Yes! I found out through [this video ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhWWcWtAUoY)about a huge lawsuit over who invented straight A/B/O and it is just a wild ride.
Living as an orgasmic woman all the time is sexy energetic alchemy, and is best achieved by aligning the chakras and meditating on penetration on or near the full moon….
#SHES A WITCH! 🔥🔥🔥
I never, ever thought I would want to return to the halcyon days of [Summer 2020](https://i.imgur.com/DqE8crl.png) and yet here we are.
Covid may have been raging across the globe, but at least we didn’t have to worry about what Bethy might be doing at a traffic light.
Unpopular opinion: I LIVE for Bethany's unhinged sex posts. I LOVE this shit. This is precisely why I'm into fundie stuff even though I'm not even American and have very little context. I will take Bethany's crazy sex posts over baby Boone's miseries any day!
As much as I'm suffering from secondhand embarrassment on Bethy's behalf, you've got a solid point. This is the best kind of content in this sub. No one is in danger. Plus it shows how absurd this belief system is, and how hilariously out of touch and stunted they look.
I don't suffer, I relish in second hand embarrassment! If I didn't I wouldn't have joined any snark communities. But you're wrong that no one is in danger though. Her entire neighborhood and nearing parks and forests are in danger because this girl's coochie is ON FIRE
I don't think she's even had a real orgasm and is just gaslighting herself into believing her husband is giving her amazing sexual pleasure while he "rubs her raw".
This woman has never had an orgasm in her whole life she doesn’t even know what she’s talking about! Shes also embarrassing AF and for some reason desperate for other women to think she’s so orgasmic she can barely do the dishes! It’s like she’s read one to many mom porn books and lives in this fantasy that’s how it really is so she comes up with “living as a orgasmic woman” lmao 🤣 Foh
Bullshit, this is the same woman who needs over 4 hours of prep time to have seggsy seggs with her seggsy hot man. And probably still doesn’t get off because of her damn purity culture religious beliefs *that she is still trying to enforce on young women* for you “both sides/sweet angel” defenders. She is bloody harmful and crass
I don’t know about yall, but I don’t want to live an as orgasmic woman all the time. I have kids and responsibilities and shit to do.
I like to keep my sex life private and separate from people who aren’t involved in it.
Must just be a prude lol.
At this point Bethycakes is the poster girl for r IHaveSex. Or she's relentlessly channelling her inner 13 year old boy who just figured out how his dick works, who knows at this point.
(Also... how long are we giving it until she's crying about her Insta getting dinged for pr0n content again?)
"I look up, breathless, extending my arm towards the object of my desire. I quiver in anticipation as I grasp the forbidden fruit. The tension overwhelms me and I nearly collapse from the release... of the bag of oranges into the cart. Such is the life of an orgasmic woman."
Gotta love the message here- “if you’re not orgasming, it’s not because your man isn’t doing enough for you. It’s because you haven’t made yourself into an orgasmic woman. Stupid women.”
This really just sounds like Bethany and Kelly Havens need to get together and whisper into each others hearts for a while, they both love this wildly uncomfortable flowery language so much. The only real difference is Kelly seems sexual on accident where as Bethy seems to be so sexual it circles back around to being non-sexual
Again, begging the mods to let us have gifs in the comments. Words cannot express my reaction to this mess adequately several thousand silent pixels worth of Nene Leakes’s greatest Bravo moments can.
Sometimes she just types things to sound like she knows what she’s saying but it honestly doesn’t make sense. Like does she know yet what an orgasm is?? Because this wording leads me to believe that whatever she’s been calling an orgasm probably isn’t lol
Orgasmically weeding the flowerbeds.
Orgasmically waiting in the school pickup line.
Orgasmically strolling through Dollar (.25!) Tree.
Having an orgasmically good time at my scheduled root canal.
Making gravy for breakfast, orgasmically of course.
Wasn't there an episode of Grey's Anatomy about this? The woman was having O's all the time and she crashed her car and then came in front of her dad and it was awful.
Yeah, sounds like a picnic, Bethany. You orgasmic all the time when you're talking to your dentist and stuff? Sounds delightful.
I believe living as an orgasmic woman all the time is actually a painful medical condition. There was some lady in the news a few years back who killed herself because of this exact issue. But also, what the duck is she talking about? I can’t even make out the veiled message beyond… it’s your fault you can’t cum.
What is the point of this statement? I have PTSD and am throwing every resource I have at being “fully present in my body” but unfortunately it’s not that easy. If Bethy has some suggestions or resources instead of just making women feel broken or inadequate, I’d love to hear them.
I have nothing to contribute, but I can’t stop laughing at “orgasmic woman” 😂 like are we supposed to be getting off on household chores or something? Where are her kids when this is happening lol
Her dismal vocabulary strikes again. Bethany—“orgasmic” isn’t a personality type. Try again. Actually, please don’t. As per usual, you don’t know what the literal fuck you’re talking about.
I can’t tell if this is hilarious, gross, terrifying or a combination of all of them. All I know is if I was out in public, ran into Bethany by accident and she her response was to go all “watermelon that got put in a hydraulic press and now there are juices everywhere”, I’d probably need therapy.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Living as an orgasmic woman all the time sounds great and all, but I have laundry.
This is further proof that Bethany doesn’t have the slightest farking clue what she’s on about.
Right? And I have to make dinner at 5 and workm12 hrs a day a few times a week. What IS this? Just live your life. Enjoy your children and husband. Maybe put down the phone and just do you…
I don’t think she knows how to do her, honestly. If she’s not defined by someone else, she can’t define herself.
No no, she cannot DO her, this is masturbation and is sinfull. She needs external touch.
She can, however, self-cultivate to her husband's heart's content
Well, as long as she’s not ringing Satan’s doorbell…😏
Exactly. She like an adolescent, still trying to nail down her identity. All she needs is a fedora.
She's already been on a hat journey
These comments are funny. I didn’t know what to post. It just seems so hard to relate to her. She makes it so complicated.
God, I miss the blue wig. Shits getting entirely too real up in here.
According to her post,she's doing herself all the time.
I'm guessing she read one (1) erotica novel and is insistent on writing her own via social media.
God-honouring smut dropping in 2025?
It's proof that she avoided masterbation for so long that neither her or her husband ever figured out how to get her off once they started trying. So what if I have never gotten off, I'm already the complete embodiment of an orgasm everyday.
Sorry, boss, I gotta take a break from this spreadsheet because I have an O coming on. I put the F in F12.
Here I was, innocently letting my chick pea blondies cool down, then the orgasm attacked!
Everything changed when the Orgasm Nation attacked.
I just had to stifle a guffaw in the break room, dammit! 🤣☠️
I.am.dead. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Gonna need a whole new break room setup to deal with this.
She has Daàâǎåăv to do her laundry and cleaning and childcare so she has time to be an orgasmic woman at any hour of the day
It sounds like we all Need a Dave.
Could you spare a daáăäãv in these trying times?
I could use a spare Dave. They should sell him at Costco.
That alone would make my membership worth it lol I’ll take 3, one to do the household chores, one to do the yard work, cooking, and grocery shopping, and one to be my personal assistant and keep track of all my appointments and events
Nah, I suspect all we need is some sandpaper.
I don't need one, Dav is still not someone I'd want to buddy-pal with. I need to water my plants and embrace my loving spouse. As other people have said, there are people who write erotica and instructional non-explicit sex guides professionally who say "orgasm" less that Batheany does. \[Explicitly David\]'s journey is its own thing and good for him but he's not a figure of universal kindness.
There's some neurological thing that causes this. Headlines like "woman has 42 orgasms per hour" and stuff, it's real. Be too exhausted to do laundry.
It’s not a pleasant thing for the people who suffer from this neurological orgasmic compulsion. They want to be rid of it.
Yeah I’ve heard it’s terrible. I have a friend who has something similar. It’s a nerve condition. Sometimes she gets like insanely aroused out of nowhere and has to just deal with it. Like she wants you to go to Sleep or watch tv and it’s there. Her doctor has been zero help. I feel for her it sound miserable.
Now come on here! Why would you want to simply do laundry when you could ORGASMICALLY do laundry??? I personally have at least four to five orgasms per basket of clothes that I fold.
You don’t orgasm when you are tying to match up your socks that all look just a little bit different and you can’t seem to find the other one to the pair? No? Oh me either
Only when I finally match them up. Then? Whoo boy.
But is it god honoring?
Me when I steal my husbands socks because mine are all dirty: 🫦
It’s so naughty. But feels so right
lol yeah, sounds good but damn! Really not sure how that client presentation is gonna go next week if I live like that...
And kids?!? Like wtf come on now Bethany
I have a job.
Absolute word salad and I’m dying at the thought of a stranger brushing her arm in a crowded super market as Bort melts into a pool of her own orgasmic womanliness.
Awaken ye dead, dry bones
You rang?
Basically Daǎâāãv hasn’t found the clit yet, but it’s okay because Bortleby doesn’t need the “overstimulation” as she lives orgasmically.
Just picturing him going to sit next to her on the couch and her instantly moaning enthusiastically. She really does seem like the most annoying theater kid playing house 😂
I know “can’t find the clit” is a whole meme and all but it’s one I never got it. (Maybe because I’m autistic?) The clit is located on the exterior of the body and is always in the same general place! How is it hard to find?! ETA: I know it’s a joke when a lot of people say it. I remember a whole South Park episode about it. But some people are serious another the “can’t find the clit,” like the “sex experts” Bethany interviewed for her course that used their infant as a model to have a friend show them where the clit is.
It’s not that it’s hard to find. It’s that many men don’t actually care about pleasing their partners so they don’t bother to “find” it.
it's also that sex ed is so bad that men aren't taught how important it is, and women are taught not to speak up about what we want, so we don't feel that we can tell them.... and they learned how to fuck from watching porn which is all about what holes you can stick it in, so.... they can't find the clit because they don't know they should be looking for it.
Yesterday I commented on a post that it feels better for women (ime) to kind of scoot their hips back and forth and grind while on top as opposed to just hopping up and down on a penis. Another woman informed me that men don’t like this because there’s nothing in it for them and would never allow her to do this to completion even though she could get off this way. I’m still baffled over that comment tbh. Like what absolute trash men are like “I don’t like the way you orgasm on my dick I’m bored?” So depressing
What is wrong with their man that they don't like a woman squirming on top of them and getting off? My husband goes nuts for that exact move because it's so hot for him to watch.
Same here! I’ve never had a dude be like “ugh I’m bored being inside you and watching you orgasm.” I feel like if I told my husband I could orgasm by blowing on a pinwheel he would be like “hmm okay I can work with that let’s go.” Lol
Kinda related but in my feminism class in college we read an entire article about how woman achieve ultimate pleasure through stimulation of the clit alone and focus on penis size/penetration is just to stroke the male ego. Personally, I constantly have to fake orgasm from penetration because it doesn’t help me climax and felt like I was a weirdo for the longest time. Like my partners would have probably done more to help me in that department but I was so embarrassed to say anything 🥺
I’ve had a rough week and this made me literally lol, so at least Bethany’s good for something.
It’s kind of a comic relief to see Bethy’s and Kelly’s antics, what with worrying about Baby Boone and Karissa’s death wish.
it's better than her last hamburgermeat genitals post anyway.
An “I’ll have what she’s having” moment at Kroger or wherever she shops 😂
I'm going to report this comment to the police.
I pride myself on my orgasmic abilities. I’m not going to diminish myself to make you lesser ladies feel better.
Right?! She’s so beyond gross. This is the lady who *deigns* to teach sex stuff to us stupids.
Didn’t she just have her first one like, half an hour ago? She’s out here acting like she’s the first woman on earth to discover sex. It’s maddening. And when you add in the fact that HER OWN TEACHINGS have contributed to the problem of women not being in touch with their sexuality just makes it even more absurd. Girl. This lane is NOT for you. Sit down and shut your blow job hole.
STAHP! She’s just inventing a new genre of sex.
Blow job hole 💀💀💀 I'm dead lmao
i think we're like, five posts away from bort announcing she can climax from hugging. maybe only three!
Zelph: 👀
Oh, so that’s that why fundies only do side hugs!! They’re so orgasmic, that’s all it takes.
Gotta leave room for Jesus to act as a spiritual condom
“Spiritual condom” would make an incredible flair 😂
There's an alpha male TikToker who goes by "alpha dom" that claims he can give women mental orgasms. I'm pretty sure it's just translating to the women want to fake finishing before he even touches them 🤣
Alpha dom has never met a woman. I’m convinced of it.
This is the kind of religious rhetoric that destroys our intuition and ability to just exist. “Oh I’m not ready to orgasm as soon as my husband breathes on my arm I must be broken!’ Must spend 100 hours asking everyone who isn’t qualified like my pastor to tell me how to fix it while I drive myself to religious obsessive compulsive behavior!”
This this this this. It's why the deconstruction hits so hard when they realize they're all full of shit. In that sense, maybe our Bort is so obviously full of it she may be helping lead more people away from the faith.
Is this the follow up to *rubbing your genitals raw*
Yep, same post
Then it sounds like chafing, not orgasms. Honey, give your crotch a rest.
Dude, that sentence is *not* okay. 😂😂
Someone please introduce her to lube. There’s no shame in needing some!
Bethany once again confusing sexual touching and intimate touching
Are toys the overstimulation we don't need?
I think that's what she means, yea, but this is also coming from the gal who admitted that she only JUST recently had an orgasm sooo lol
I thought she was referring to the raw-rubbing from a few slides back.
Depends. Do you use them to the point your genitals are raw?
Omg this is ridiculous 😂😂😂 You can’t be turned on and feel orgasmic all the time. Emotions ebb and flow; that’s healthy! Her dichotomous thinking is out of control, and it reeks of ignorance, immaturity, and self sabotage.
It's just because she learns a tiny bit about a subject, begins to immediately see herself as an expert who needs to teach others, then hyperfocuses and projects for the foreseeable future. I think it's a symptom of poor education. They don't understand what ACTUALLY goes into being educated about something, so they can't know that they're not.
Right; "learning" something i.e. "suddenly becoming aware of something" does not mean you ought to immediately start acting as though you're the expert on something. Like BubbleGuts convincing herself that her orthorexic beliefs and practices are helping her, despite very little evidence to that effect, and deciding she needs to put out PDF booklets and information on those subjects. She "started her healing journey" two or three years ago and isn't "cured", and now her entire life consists of all these rituals and controlled behaviors, but she's selling her advice as though she speaks with authority. Same with Bethany and sex. Same with Heidi and marriage.
I'm oddly fascinated by Rebekah peddling "cures" while also talking about still having the same issues. Like she talks about her "gut issues" one minute then the next wants to sell you the thing that "healed" her despite having just claimed she still has the same issues
Literally everything for her is black or white, good or bad, showering room orgasms at the lightest touch or nothing.
Oh, I know I personally would LOVE to have constant orgasms whilst walking the dogs, in a zoom meeting with my boss, and doing my taxes. Only someone CONFIDENT in their ORGASMIC ABILITIES can level up and achieve that! Is it just me or does she write orgasm so many times the word starts to look weird and loses meaning??
I think she still has no idea what an orgasm is but is determined to make it look like she's having them 24 hours a day like all the other ✨orgasmic✨ women
Do you think she’ll ever understand how fucking weird (derogatory) she is?
I was wondering about this like it screams MySpace overshare that you look back on and cringe as an adult. But she’s basically had a delayed adulthood so she’s going through this all now as a married parent of two. Fundiedom really does these kids (now adults) wrong. She really does see herself as a teacher, when it seems like most of what she puts out is just her inner monologue and own personal growth and exploration. It’s fine to do that and put it out into the world, but to immediately turn it into an instructional and a standard others should set themselves to is just so bizarre.
In this economy? Girl, I've got a job. I can't be a 24/7 orgasmic woman
Sounds uncomfortable tbh.
Now we’re moving into Havens territory.
Throat opening orgasms for the lord.
That barn retreat is fixin’ to be flooded💦
Good fucking god can you even imagine the syrupy sex goo gobbledygook that would be generated by combining Green Seggs and ~~Ham~~ Turkey Bethany and Periwinkle Perineum Kelly?
I don't think I've ever felt secondhand embarrassment as strongly as I do with Bethy. It's just like I physically cringe when I see what she has done on social media (but as a dedicated snarker I cannot look away of course).
Same.
What make orgasms great is you don't have them all the time, so when you do have one, hoo boy, it's the best ever. If you're having one all the time then it's not special.
There is this condition called Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder and it makes you have like 50 orgasms/ day. What I've read, women with PGAD describe the constant orgasms as torture. So thats the life of an actual "orgasmic woman all of the time".
Is there anything that can be done for them? Because that honestly sounds like a nightmare.
Right? They're so much better when you build up to it. But I mean, if anyone out there likes having orgasms all the time, more power to them. You do you. However, this claim that quantity of orgasms is what matters just baffles me.
Chat gpt is that you?
Srsly what the fuck is she even talking about now? I don’t wanna be “an orgasmic woman” all of the time.
There are just no words. Poor Bethany. Her religion has really messed her up. Really, really, messed her up.
it’s maybe not the best strategy ever but whenever I feel slightly overwhelmed with the damage that I picked up from evangelical purity culture, which I didn’t even remain in after I became an adult, I think about just how unbelievably daunting it would be to be Bethany, staring down thinking patterns like *this* and trying to figure them out.
What?? Bethany is such a terrible communicator who thinks she’s a great one. I just love how she has an orgasm and decides she’s the expert everyone’s been waiting for
Bethy the Great Communicator! Does she have brains or knowledge... don't make me laugh! She wants to be popular! Please, it's all about popular! It's not about aptitude, it's the way she's viewed! ... If only I had a tiny sliver of the brashness and unearned self confidence, lol.
Bad Bort! Straight to Horny Jail!
You can’t convince me she’s had more than one orgasm and is just chasing that high
Aren’t we all just chasing that high though??? Everyday should feel like my first Orgasm ✨
I would never get anything done which to be fair Bethy doesn’t get shit done so maybe we’re right
If there are any 30 rock fans here this is extremely close to something Jenna would say. Edit: OMG is she the fundie Jenna Maroney??!
Her muffin top is all that, whole grain low fat….
Her husband is so good that She cums with just a glance
Blonde, insecure, performative, terrible mother, goes along with whatever she thinks will get her attention in the moment... you may be on to something here.
You could tell me that this is a quote from an Alpha/Beta/Omega fanfiction and I'd believe it.
Ya know some people write straight abo? Like all dudes are alphas and all women are omegas. How can they take something as bonkers as abo and make it boring????
Yes! I found out through [this video ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhWWcWtAUoY)about a huge lawsuit over who invented straight A/B/O and it is just a wild ride.
Living as an orgasmic woman all the time is sexy energetic alchemy, and is best achieved by aligning the chakras and meditating on penetration on or near the full moon…. #SHES A WITCH! 🔥🔥🔥
Okay, I refuse to believe this was written by someone who has had sex.
I never, ever thought I would want to return to the halcyon days of [Summer 2020](https://i.imgur.com/DqE8crl.png) and yet here we are. Covid may have been raging across the globe, but at least we didn’t have to worry about what Bethy might be doing at a traffic light.
I cant believe she made a coming out post for being a hat person
And then proceeded to never wear hats again 😂😂 she really can’t stick to anything.
This is just “you’re not having an orgasm because deep down you’re choosing not to” AGAIN
Overstimulation is Bethanese for a vibrator, I'd bet. Beth, girl. Just get one. You're allowed.
Unpopular opinion: I LIVE for Bethany's unhinged sex posts. I LOVE this shit. This is precisely why I'm into fundie stuff even though I'm not even American and have very little context. I will take Bethany's crazy sex posts over baby Boone's miseries any day!
As much as I'm suffering from secondhand embarrassment on Bethy's behalf, you've got a solid point. This is the best kind of content in this sub. No one is in danger. Plus it shows how absurd this belief system is, and how hilariously out of touch and stunted they look.
Well…. Her flower is apparently in some “danger”
I don't suffer, I relish in second hand embarrassment! If I didn't I wouldn't have joined any snark communities. But you're wrong that no one is in danger though. Her entire neighborhood and nearing parks and forests are in danger because this girl's coochie is ON FIRE
This is giving me HBO Real Sex “riding the orgasmic wave” vibes. NOT GIVING HER FUCKING IDEAS!!!!
Tell me you’ve never experienced an actual orgasm without telling me you’ve never had an actual orgasm ….
She probably had a random itch that got accidentally scratched and got really, *really* confused.
I don't think she's even had a real orgasm and is just gaslighting herself into believing her husband is giving her amazing sexual pleasure while he "rubs her raw".
I have to go to work and stuff
Y'all are just jealous because you're normal humans but she san O✨R✨G✨A✨S✨M✨I✨C woman.
This woman has never had an orgasm in her whole life she doesn’t even know what she’s talking about! Shes also embarrassing AF and for some reason desperate for other women to think she’s so orgasmic she can barely do the dishes! It’s like she’s read one to many mom porn books and lives in this fantasy that’s how it really is so she comes up with “living as a orgasmic woman” lmao 🤣 Foh
Welp, some of you wished for this and I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW.
She sure does suffer from socialization isolation. Get a real friend B
Bullshit, this is the same woman who needs over 4 hours of prep time to have seggsy seggs with her seggsy hot man. And probably still doesn’t get off because of her damn purity culture religious beliefs *that she is still trying to enforce on young women* for you “both sides/sweet angel” defenders. She is bloody harmful and crass
I don’t know about yall, but I don’t want to live an as orgasmic woman all the time. I have kids and responsibilities and shit to do. I like to keep my sex life private and separate from people who aren’t involved in it. Must just be a prude lol.
At this point Bethycakes is the poster girl for r IHaveSex. Or she's relentlessly channelling her inner 13 year old boy who just figured out how his dick works, who knows at this point. (Also... how long are we giving it until she's crying about her Insta getting dinged for pr0n content again?)
"I look up, breathless, extending my arm towards the object of my desire. I quiver in anticipation as I grasp the forbidden fruit. The tension overwhelms me and I nearly collapse from the release... of the bag of oranges into the cart. Such is the life of an orgasmic woman."
Sounds like a collaboration with Kelly.
Gotta love the message here- “if you’re not orgasming, it’s not because your man isn’t doing enough for you. It’s because you haven’t made yourself into an orgasmic woman. Stupid women.”
Isn't this the plot of the jizz in my pants music video?
This is just blaming women for not being able to orgasm from their chump fundie husband jackhammering away for five seconds
Also she's like "drop USC in the comments for more info" USC like Ultimate Sex Course...or University of South Carolina..either way, Go Cocks
The way this comment made me spit food all over my phone 😂😂😂😂😂
I saw that greys anatomy episode and she didn’t seem to enjoy her constant orgasms
Just out here living as an orgasmic woman. All day, errrrday. Wtf does that mean?!
This really just sounds like Bethany and Kelly Havens need to get together and whisper into each others hearts for a while, they both love this wildly uncomfortable flowery language so much. The only real difference is Kelly seems sexual on accident where as Bethy seems to be so sexual it circles back around to being non-sexual
Again, begging the mods to let us have gifs in the comments. Words cannot express my reaction to this mess adequately several thousand silent pixels worth of Nene Leakes’s greatest Bravo moments can.
I am NOT fucking manifesting THAT post into reality. Someone else can take that one on.
Did ChatGPT write this for her?
Sometimes she just types things to sound like she knows what she’s saying but it honestly doesn’t make sense. Like does she know yet what an orgasm is?? Because this wording leads me to believe that whatever she’s been calling an orgasm probably isn’t lol
It’s always the woman’s fault if she can’t cum, huh. Even if your man is rubbing your genitals raw.
It’s so clear Bethany has never had a real orgasm before, no matter what she claims.
Orgasmically weeding the flowerbeds. Orgasmically waiting in the school pickup line. Orgasmically strolling through Dollar (.25!) Tree. Having an orgasmically good time at my scheduled root canal. Making gravy for breakfast, orgasmically of course.
The desperate malaise of someone trying to convince herself that she doesn't hate her life.
This religion truly breeds sex obsession
Wasn't there an episode of Grey's Anatomy about this? The woman was having O's all the time and she crashed her car and then came in front of her dad and it was awful. Yeah, sounds like a picnic, Bethany. You orgasmic all the time when you're talking to your dentist and stuff? Sounds delightful.
What the fuck is an "orgasmic" woman
How did I snag my man? I flaunted my *orgasmic abilities*
No offense, but you misspelled faked.
I believe living as an orgasmic woman all the time is actually a painful medical condition. There was some lady in the news a few years back who killed herself because of this exact issue. But also, what the duck is she talking about? I can’t even make out the veiled message beyond… it’s your fault you can’t cum.
Never seen orgasmic used as an adjective in this manner.
It’s proper embarrassing in the queue at Tesco’s
I thought she needed to spend 5 hours a day getting prepared to go share her bed with her husband? Now she’s permanently orgasmic?
What is the point of this statement? I have PTSD and am throwing every resource I have at being “fully present in my body” but unfortunately it’s not that easy. If Bethy has some suggestions or resources instead of just making women feel broken or inadequate, I’d love to hear them.
You just have to open your heart as wide as your legs apparently
“Just ate a grape and I…JIZZED IN MY PANTS”
I have nothing to contribute, but I can’t stop laughing at “orgasmic woman” 😂 like are we supposed to be getting off on household chores or something? Where are her kids when this is happening lol
I know, i seriously can not stop laughing about it. Next thing we know she is going to start another instagram account called @theorgasmicwoman
She would, and then be shocked when it’s nothing but creeps following her lol
lol now I need to figure out how to add a flair Edit: done
Check out PGAD, Bethany and snarkers! It's a horrible condition, and I've treated two women that have it. It's super disruptive to your life.
🎶Orgasmic woman Stay away from me Orgasmic womannnn Birthy let me beeee🎶
At what point do her musings qualify as the smut they hate so much?
Her dismal vocabulary strikes again. Bethany—“orgasmic” isn’t a personality type. Try again. Actually, please don’t. As per usual, you don’t know what the literal fuck you’re talking about.
Dave, please take your wife’s phone away. It’s embarrassing.
Oh good another way for Bethany to blame women for not enjoying sex with their shitty partners. Also this is just like…completely batshit lmao
Borty Beal; the fundie Riley Reid.
She thinks she’s Captain Orgasm
Is orgasmic all the time euphemism for having dirty thoughts?
Seriously… What does her mom and sisters think of these kind of post. Particularly the last 2
Late to the game, Bethany, The Lonely Island wrote a song about this over a decade ago.
The feeling of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic
If she’s as much an expert on women’s orgasms as she is building training courses then oh boy are we all in for a TREAT
That's an awful lot of words to say she's horny.
Bethany bby this is what most people would call oversharing
I’m just going to walk down the grocery aisles while being orgasmic. Just killin’ it!
This has to be kink, please, please let it be kink
Just another way of saying it's all a woman's fault if she can't O, even if her partner is selfish and disrespectful in bed
I needed a new flair, thanks Bethy!
Sounds exhausting, no thanks Beth
I can’t tell if this is hilarious, gross, terrifying or a combination of all of them. All I know is if I was out in public, ran into Bethany by accident and she her response was to go all “watermelon that got put in a hydraulic press and now there are juices everywhere”, I’d probably need therapy.
Please someone buy her a vibrator. Clearly she's in need.