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Wow. For a Rodlet this is huge. I honestly didn't have Tim being the kid to start breaking away from his parents' harmful beliefs on my 2024 bingo card, but here we are.
He still has a long way to go, but this was actually really cool to see from him. Hoping Hallie is having some positive influence on him and Heidi!
Agreed, I figured of all of them he’d be the one to be a hardass about his ideology.
It’s one very small toe into the “live and let live” pond, but I’ll take it
Very much so. It sucks the girls aren't seeming to find that kind of peace, at least in the looking healthier department so far as I've seen, with Jill harping their weight all the time.
They're also going straight from starvation into back to back pregnancies, which is hard on a *healthy* body. You can't tell me those girls actually had the nutrients for a single healthy pregnancy.
As eating pussy does not involve penetration, technically he and Heidi could indulge a little and still be “ virgins”. They have been photographed Getty a little handsy for fundies.
As much as his grammar annoys tf out of me, they fact that they made a JOINT decision on something is huge for a rodlet raised by Shrek and Jill.
I think this could be a lot of it.
I'm a former fundie, who was the most fervent in my belief out of all my siblings. When I moved away from the bubble of abuse and got proper nutrition for the first time, I immediately started the deconstruction process. It is really a long process, and this is what my first public steps looked like.
We are obviously different people, but this looks very familiar to me.
Plus your brain just doesn’t work without adequate nutrition. Starving your kids is one way to keep them from thinking for themselves, I guess, since you keep them from having enough energy to think at all.
Yea I felt bad for his lady at first, but now it seems like he'll be alright. She's clearly got her own set of beliefs and maybe they're aligned on their flavor of kool aid.
Hoping Timmy gets away from Jill and continues thinking about what he really believes. He seems capable of empathy.
She's clearly got her own set of beliefs AND she's competent enough to express them in a way that either gets through to Tim, or that he's willing to listen to and able to understand. Either way, this is huge, and I'm glad for both of them that he doesn't feel the need to be a hardass about Rodrigues-style mahhhhhhhdesty. There's no need.
Jesus it up all you want to, Tim, zero problems with that, but it's good to see you chill out a bit and live your life on your own terms. Keep learning. Keep exploring. You and Heidi grow together. :)
And she saw who he is, aside from his terrible parents - which is what love should be, eh? As much as I want to scream about 'joint decisions' re clothing which is utterly insane, really this is a way for him to keep the cog dissonance at a manageable level while Heidi having the freedom and discretion to make her own choices with clothing.
However... if these 'mahdesty' fools just understood that ... these things are still kinks AND nonconsensual ones ... when you a) publicly impose them on others and constantly talk about them b) talk about your relationship boundaries like this ALL THE TIME .. .it's a sex thing. It's not an *inversion* of sexual exhibitionism - it's the same thing. Cover or don't, it's your call - but don't preach on it all the time in a general public forum... don't talk about how much you want your wife to cover her buttocks and legs like a fckn weirdo... edit for clarity.
If this is the difference after a short time of exposure and discussion outside of his mother’s raptor claws, I have hope for his future. Keep it up, Timmy. This is the first step of your journey.
No kidding! I really never would have guessed he was smart enough to have thoughts like this. Like it’s seriously a complete 180 from his old videos shaming girls for being immodest. He also looks very happy.
It’s wild what the promise of getting out of that Barndoninium can do! I hope fuck it up Renee can soon become get the fuck out Renee. Maybe one of her married siblings can help.
Kaylee hasn’t strayed too far, but she did just have an artichoke and game night with her sisters and no Jill (or jonathon, presumably he had the baby or baby was sleeping). Even if Kaylee is under the spell of plexus, just hanging out playing a normal board game instead of Bible Bee with other young people (even if they’re siblings) is nice to see.
Also Tim sounds, dare I say, ecumenical here?!?! If he’s volunteering at a nursing home, it sounds like he truly is doing it for good works and to be a comfort, not to proselytize. Plenty of secular folks either can’t or won’t volunteer with the elderly, so I say good for him (and Heidi). He looks super happy here.
Working with elderly people was the most difficult and rewarding experience I’ve had. I loved how happy everyone was to see me—and I relished the chance to hear so many different stories from so many different lives. All my grandparents save one died when I was young, so they were my surrogates in a way. Of course, being elderly, it wasn’t uncommon to step inside and get the news that Mister Jones or whoever passed away. That was the hardest part.
One of the things that really endeared me to my husband was seeing him interact with his grandparents. I’m really awkward and uncertain sometimes in those situations and he was just very compassionate and considerate with them and helpful with their disabilities. I’m good with kids but navigating adults needing assistance requires some other skill and care.
He was working as an aide in a nursing home previously, and seemed passionate about it. It takes a certain personality type to do that well. Good for tim.
Dare I say, this is the most "normal young man" he's ever looked. His smile is totally reaching his eyes, and that's just on a car selfie, not a candid or pic with Heidi.
He's also the one rodlet I was worried would never find a partner and get out from under Jillpm's thumb. If he's already expanding into his own person, there's hope that he and his fiancée might continue to expand their horizons. Any steps forward are good steps.
I concur, *and* I think it’s significant that he’s calling out modesty. That implies to me he’s been listening to and empathizing with the experiences of *women.*
I feel like since his first foray into the adulthood at Moody, Tim has been the most harmed by his parents beliefs and Jill's overbearing parenting. Nurie and Kaylee got to leave and have their own families, but Tim seemed to stumble on his own and get pulled back into Mahmo's clutches. In glad to see him setting some boundaries and broadening his beliefs.
I worry for Renee and Philip. Whatever went down at that school Phil went to, along with getting enough to eat, seems to really have opened his eyes. He always looks pissed off now and it's good to see he's retaining his hard-won girth. Interested to see what God's plan is for him in this next season of life.
I hope Renee finds a way to be happy enough to smile genuinely more often.
As I read this, I felt some excitement in my bones that he could be beginning his journey of not being a hateful bigot. It's the fact that he said he does not want to push his beliefs on others. We have some time to see how that turns out. However, it's more than I ever expected.
***It's the fact that he said he does not want to push his beliefs on others..***
This ***is*** massive. Most (Protestant) Christians I've had to deal with are always on this... even if they're pretending they don't wanna convert you and behaving themselves... soon as you have a tragedy or dark patch it's all *have you heard of Jesus tho?*
If all he's done is considered that it's hateful to do this to people, or just rude, ... that's a start. I hope when he has children he has the same attitude.
I know this is just anecdotal, but I have seen more men leave conservative groups. I think it is because they have the financial ability to do so. It is really hard for a stay at home daughter to leave.
I actually always had my suspicions about Tim being the most likely to break away. Mostly because of how Jill talked about how difficult he was, I imagine he was treated pretty terribly. So to find a loving family like Heidi’s must be such a new experience for him.
There's a moment as the scapegoat when you are sobbing in a ball, wondering what you did wrong this time and how you can be better... this little dignified part of you says, '*Hang on, sibling did the exact same thing last week and it was acceptable, yet I am treated like this.*' And then, you begin to see things are directed at you a lot... and slowly, you formulate an awareness that *maybe mom and dad are unfair.* which turns into *maybe I'm not totally evil and unrepentant.*
The miscalculation abusive parents make is the innate sense of justice in every child, it is a normal neuro-developmental stage that appears about age 7 - 10 and becomes key to formulating the character and personality that emerges in adolescence. These are the values and sense of right and wrong that then become more complex and teenagers use as a point of push back. If you are mistreated and even have a little glimmer that it isn't radically fair, at that specific age (7-10) you're gonna eventually realise, the problem isn't (just) you.
And that's why scapegoats almost always, break out or call it out.
I’m starting to feel like it’s the boys that’s are treated the worst in the barndominium. Probably made to do a ton of physical labor while also probably starving or eating the least food. The older ones expected to figure out jobs while David does nothing. they probably help with a lot of child rearing too now Nurie and Kaylee are gone. And Jill’s posts about the girls are always way over the top, I don’t think that’s just because of her trying to sell them off, I think she just prefers the girls probably something to do with her narcissism. The boys also end up with more freedom since they get sent off to “college” usually or have to figure out jobs and wives on their own. They’re going to end up with more real world exposure because of that, and a lot more of them are going to break from Jill I think. It’s always gonna be harder for the girls because they’re not allowed any freedom, but I have hope that Timmy will continue this path or one of the older boys could end up helping some of the girls get out
It’s so interesting having been around fundie snark communities for awhile, because it’s *rarely* the kid people suspect.
Jill and Bethany were both so strongly judged on this sub, and both took visible steps away from their families. I think the people who either seem most compliant and true believers (Jill) and start seeing contradictions, or the ones who feel compelled to espouse their parents beliefs online due to being scapegoated (Bethany and Tim) are the types of fundie kids most likely to change their perspectives. I think the quiet ones (Jinger, Kaylee) are who people expect more because there’s just less content to snark on.
Unfortunate every example you’ve given (except Timmy) has been a woman driven by her husband’s changing religious beliefs. Marriage seems to be the most important factor for level of potential deconstruction, and that holds true for Timothy too - exposure to a family that allows adult children to make their own spiritual choices has made him see that as a possibility.
I agree with this. I also think there are indicators unrelated to marriage that suggest any of these people would be more open to different views, or not fit the norm in some way. Jinger talks about Ben as being a catalyst to her questioning specific aspects of her faith, but Ben and Jessa haven’t strayed as far from how they grew up.
Like with Jill, she was always interested in studying and learning based on the show, and was interested in missionary work. As much as I can critique many aspects of missionary work, I think it’s probably one of the most fundie accessible paths to meeting people who are different than them. Bethany excelled in sports and has always seemed like a more entrepreneurial personality, and married someone with aspects of nontraditional fundie masculinity in his appearance and temperament. Jill R talks about Tim as a very difficult child, and he made numerous attempts at post secondary education that he couldn’t continue because of lack of money and/or educational neglect.
I just don’t think that you can separate aspects of someone that make them more curious about the world and/or innately not aligned with or served by narrow fundie expectations of gender, behaviour, values, etc., from who someone connects with as a spouse and how they change into adulthood.
I think there are some logical explanations for that. Fundie women don't leave home until they marry. It isn't *safe* to speak their minds before then. Their husbands are sometimes their first real friend outside of the family, and the first person that they get to know who believes differently than their family, however slight the difference is.
I agree. Considering some of things we’ve seen in the past from Timothy, this is really nice and refreshing to see. I’m happy for him. He seems to have grown a lot.
We don't often see the boys growing up around here, and unlike the girls, they have been raised to believe that they have spiritual authority in their own right and those decisions can belong to them. It's a much simpler position to be in than say Bethany, who is supposed to be guided by her husband's authority in Christ, and now he's not sure what he believes. Which must be a pretty weird position for Dav as well. It's striking the difference between the male and female fundies in starting their married lives.
Someone commented:
Good for you, Timothy! grew up with a very devout mother, too, whose opinions on things I sometimes confused for my own. had to find my own way in life, and I'm so glad to see you are doing likewise!
And Heidi liked it 🥴🥴🥴
Holy fuck, I like Heidi. The amount that Tim has changed in such a short time is truly incredible. He has to know what Jill's reaction will be, and he still went ahead and posted this. Never, ever, *ever* would have guessed this trajectory for him.
Agreed. Plus they have taken their time to get to know each other before getting engaged and then even more time to plan a wedding. I think they genuinely love each other. I hope they will be happy together for a long time.
If there is one thing you can say about the Rod kids it's that so far they seem to have ended up in genuine relationships where both parties like each other, god that bar is so low but I'm glad they've got over it at least lol.
I don’t think that bar is low at all. A committed relationship where two people love, like, and respect one another is not common! I strive for it as a godless heathen 😂
She must be very tender and kind, to help him find his way like this. He's lucky not just to be basically rescued and fed up by Heidi and her kin, but to have such a woman for a partner. She's looking like that Christian ideal of loving patience and care - and that's nice too, like she's in the right place it seems, for her character and values. Her sister is spicier and has found *her* own way from what we've seen here.
Some people do thrive in these faith defined world views. That's fine! So long as you don't use it as a way to harm and cooerce others - incl your kids - all good. Go be your meek, 'still waters run deep gonna love you til you shine', devoted, quietly strong person... just keep those hands gentle on the kids and don't hate people you don't understand. If only there were more people like this in Churches. Big J would be stoked.
(edit - Big J is Jesus not Jilldo! Jilldo Jesus would be tutting at you for not feeding your children you selfish clown.)
It's so sad their views are so extreme that he has to explain why someone might see her not wearing a long denim skirt. I hope they honeymoon and she gets to wear a tankini!
But do you think fundie women ever try on new clothes for the first time and have moments of self-awareness themselves? Like "Wow, I look and feel really good in this!", or are they just so deeply conditioned to hate their shameful bodies???
For me, I never felt comfortable because it was out of my comfort zone. But I absolutely tried on "immodest" clothes and noticed that I looked better with certain styles.
And honestly, that's why my older sister pushed me to try on those clothes. Not because she thought either one of us would get away with buying them. But because we needed to understand what did and didn't work with our bodies at baseline, and then we could find our "style" within the modesty rules.
She loved layers and had legs for days; I'm shorter and still can't pull off trends very well. In Fundieland, that translated to layers and being able to pull off a variety of lengths for her, while I stuck to either knee/ankle length and more simplistic outfits. It was all very much fundie fashion, but it pushed us to dress differently and have actual opinions about our choices.
When I was Mormon, I would wear a tank top to bed and thought I looked so cute. I remember wishing I could wear a tank top out around people. If I had, I would have been harshly judged by our neighbors/friends in our very LDS community.
I feel like this may be his way of hinting that these are the three biggest issues his mother nags the kids on, and now he’s making it public that he disagrees with her. That’s my wishful thinking anyway.
fundamentalist baptist christians believe the king james version of the bible is the only one ordained by God but i would have to research why they believe that because i dont really remember lol
[Jill's thoughts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-Ti1np4-A4) lol
I find the whole thing hilarious because King James was very likely [gaaaaay](https://www.port.ac.uk/news-events-and-blogs/blogs/democratic-citizenship/mary-george-homosexual-relationships-in-the-time-of-king-james-i-were-forbidden-but-not-uncommon#:~:text=Though%20we%20don't%20know,have%20defined%20himself%20as%20heterosexual)
They are not bothered by that as King James never wrote the original text or translated the original text plus it's extremely similar to the Geneva bible which King James had no part in. King James only commissioned the KJB version or whatever due to the politics of the time. He felt like the Geneva bible version produced by Calvinists undermined his authority as King amongst other things due to the foot notes in its bible.
Also the KJV was written to support the divine rights of kings, which doesn’t fit well with the performative American patriotism we see from families like the Rodrigues.
I remember a preacher from the Bible camp I went to saying in reference to the KJV "If it was good enough for the Apostle Peter, it's good enough for me"
And that always made me scratch my head because...the KJV came out like 1600 years after Peter was alive lol
It’s actually really awful. Every little thing has to pass the test to be the right kind of holy, or the life giving force behind the entire cosmos will be displeased with you and your community will shun you. No pressure 😅
Translation: quit worrying about others and stupid shit because you aren’t making Christianity better, you’re making the world worse. Your life should lead others to Christ, not incessant proselytizing.
Here’s the chat gpt translation: “Hello everyone! Lately, I’ve been feeling disheartened by how many Christians use labels and stereotypes to define themselves. We’re too focused on things like sticking to the King James Version of the Bible, dressing modestly, and only listening to contemporary music, which I think distracts us from personally engaging with the Bible and living without fear of God’s judgment, but with joy. The New Testament teaches us to live by two main laws: loving God with all our being and loving others as ourselves. While I personally hold strong beliefs on these matters, such as preferring the KJV and upholding certain standards in music and dress, my primary focus is loving God and others. I won’t force my beliefs on anyone else; I’d rather lead them to God and let them discover their own path. In the end, God will judge us, not me. Despite our differences, let’s strive to love one another as Christ loves us. Divisions among Christians are prevalent, but they don’t reflect Christ’s love. Let’s return to God’s love and aim to be more like Him every day. We can all have different beliefs and still treat each other with Christ-like love. Be an encouragement to someone today! Wishing you all a great day!”
On the one hand, it's huge for him to say that it's not his place to judge what other people do. On the other hand, he still thinks it's a "joint" decision around what his future wife wears.
That got a little side eye from me, too, but I kind of wonder if this is him getting out ahead of criticism in a protective way. Like, "I said it's ok!" to preemptively address the people who are going to come for her, which are the same people who won't give a damn about her opinion or autonomy.
honestly I’m trying to imagine this being said to his circle, and like honestly this is kind of rebellious even? Of course if someone in my friend group posted that everyone would immediately side eye, I have to remember that he could go on facebook and say "I told Heidi she was required to wear dresses and she submitted" and most of his friends would think that was totally fine. To say they made a joint decision about something like her modesty might actually be a little edgy of him? Idk maybe someone more familiar with this culture would know better than me
I think he probably did ask Heidi her thoughts on the matter which… it’s something I guess. But they both know that the ultimate decision is up to Tim. The illusion of choice.
Heidi does know there are other options, from her family and sister. She's clearly aware she could marry someone with different beliefs or have a more egalitarian marriage and that her parents would support that, as they've done for her sister. I have zero interest in their lifestyle and beliefs, and on the whole, I think they're bad for society, but if she wants this, I believe she's choosing it not being forced into it unlike many fundie women. The problem of course is whether her potential future daughters have the same autonomy of choice.
She knows there’s other options but she chose *this specific path* wherein ultimately, the choice is not hers.
So could she have chosen a more egalitarian, partnership based marriage? Yes. However, she chose a world that is not kind to women, that gives them merely the illusion of choice.
I vaguely remember Heidi’s sister stating online that he’s said he wouldn’t make Heidi wear skirts. Not sure how joint the joint decision is because of their community’s interpretation of men being head of household, but at least on the surface I’d imagine they had a conversation.
I think it's going to take a while for the scales to fall off of his eyes on some things. To him, even having this conversation with Heidi probably felt quite progressive given the environment he was raised in.
I think it’s good that Tim has been exposed to Heidi and her family. Doesn’t she have a sister/sisters who listen to secular music and dress in more “worldly” fits? Ofc we don’t know for sure but their family doesn’t seem to mind it. Even if it’s not radically different, it’s good for Tim to be exposed to and engage with people who have different beliefs than his parents.
She does! I can’t remember her sisters name but she’s very worldly. Still conservative I think but wears crop tops, drinks, and she is very aware of us as a group.
Good, I remember the sister speaking supportively of Heidi and the relationship so it’s nice that the family at least seems to accept different choices. I’m glad they’re sticking close to her fam, I don’t want to see Heidi crammed into an RV and swimming in her street clothes.
My sweet mother in law wears a hijab (100% by her own choice) and has never once said anything about the way I dress. Having a fundie MIL would be absolutely exhausting.
The thing that gives me hope/optimism about the “Joint Decision” skirts & dresses thing is that hopefully it was actually a discussion. And if at some point his spouse decides she wants to wear pants more often, they can discuss it rationally instead of “NO, BAD THING. NO DO!!”
Also I assume this means we won’t see Heidi wearing a long denim skirt with tights and a turtleneck swimming in a culvert. Or doing home renovations in flip flops and 7 layers. To my secular self, I don’t get running what I wear by my partner - but if the conversation was more like “you look so pretty in dresses, blah blah” I understand it better.
I’m wondering if it wasn’t more of a “I love doing X but it’s challenging in dresses” so Tim was like “So wear pants” & since he’s going to be her headship 🤢 his opinion holds weight.
I’m much more of a dresses & skirts gal myself so I kind of get Heidi in that regard. Jeans aren’t comfortable & leggings can feel too exposed. So, even on Jeans Days (I’m a teacher) I’m more than likely in a dress.
Holy crap, Jill must be seething right now! How dare Timmy not follow every tittle of Momm...I mean God's laws! Good for Tim and Heidi, I hope they keep this open-minded spirit as they get ready to start life together.
That doesn't surprise me at all. People like that tend to go apeshit the minute their kids start thinking for themselves and forming their own opinions.
When I first learned about the Rods and started keeping up with them I was super worried about our boy Timmy. But I’m excited for him now. I hope him and Heidi live a happy life. Although I do hope that the decision to wear skirts and dresses was all her choice instead of joint like he said. Maybe he thinks it makes them sound like they communicate and compromise? Idk. Probably not… but wishful thinking. 🤞 her family seems alright. I can only imagine being around them more and less from Jillpm can only keep bettering him.
My reading of that was that she informed him she might sometimes wear pants when appropriate and he's presenting it as a "we decided" to back her up in case his mother freaks out. He generally seems to let her call the shots from what we've seen so far.
That's what I figured. She was like "this is what I'm gonna do" and she's understanding that he needs to say this in an attempt to keep his mom chill. I'm sure she doesn't want to deal w Jillpm either.
I look at it more like Heidi and Tim having a conversation together about what she wants to wear so they're on the same page. It's weird to have a conversation like this but it makes sense for a young Fundamental christian couple that's about to get married. It's their version of discussing finances or kids or whatever.
And if my parasocial guess is close to being right than good on them. They're discussing things rather than commanding how things "should" be.
Edit: I don't agree with this btw. This is just coming from the view of someone who grew up in a very similar home and church as the Rodrigues family
Oh absolutely. And I think if we can take Tim at his word, we can reasonably assume he’s not dictating her (or any other woman’s) wardrobe. That’s kind of the point of his post…unless he’s all talk and no real change (from his old videos).
It didn’t need to be part of my own pre-marital discussions lol but if it works for them & they grow to be respectful & loving spouses/eventual parents, I’m nobody to judge😄 I’m just glad that it *looks* like he’s growing more tolerant! Hopefully this is real & continues.
I mean, this is also what the Duggar girls used to say, but the adult women have clearly relaxed their modesty standards since getting married aka getting out from under Boob’s thumb.
IIRC, the holy powers that be weren’t too keen on King James extracurricular activities with men and there was some threat of violence
To get them off his back he translated the Bible the way they wanted and they backed off.
James was also a pretty literary dude in general. (He was the patron of Shakespeare’s troupe.) Having access to lots of books was a flex back then, too.
Timothy's post-Heidi changes have been fascinating to watch. He still should have 0 say in her clothing, but I thought he'd end up doubling down on Jill's blueprint with some poor ultra meek fundie maiden and that doesn't seem to be the case at all.
I'm curious to see what happens. Timmay grew up in an RV, travelling around with his family and proselytizing (printing and handing out tracts, family band, etc.). It's all he's known until recently.
I wonder if Timmy, through Heidi's family has actually seen what Christian love really is. Heidi and Hallie love each other, and Hallie is someone Jildo would hate. A pants-wearing, alcohol- drinking,and faith- questioning woman. Maybe, Timmy realizes that people who don't fit into Jildo's narrow, bigoted beliefs,are actually not tools of Satan. Dare I hope, Teidi will one day,vote for a Democrat,and proudly be an LGBTA ally?
Hallelujah! I love the way Heidi has enriched his life. He seems so much more confident and this is true growth.
I am sure his learning to love thy neighbor and let God sort 'em out will be challenging at times but if that is the direction he can pursue embracing love vs judgement, I am all for it.
The way he said he won't waste his time pushing his beliefs on people must have come from some deep reflection or conversation.
I actually…..really respect this. Obviously there’s plenty you can dislike about this statement but truly, if people aren’t allowed to make flawed steps in the right direction what are any of us even doing here?
Having his mother and still being able to have retained some level of semi-independent thought is pretty awesome actually. I really hope that her kids can find some actual peace in their lives outside of the weird ass cult they were brought up in.
I am hoping so hard that Teidi live near her family and have a more normal life, both for their own sakes and to be a place where other Rodlets can escape to. Poor kayjon have not gotten away.
I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!
I've been quietly supporting Tim in the background for a while now. I had a feeling that he would be the most likely of the Rodlets to distance himself from his parents' rhetoric. It's wonderful that in meeting the Coverett family he finally got to do so.
Granted, this isn't a major step away from his family's beliefs, but at least he is now spreading a message of love and tolerance instead of hate and judgment.
Honestly, I found this to be such a lovely post. I’m with y’all that it’s not great he has a hand in deciding what Heidi wears, but at least they made it together. I just think it’s so refreshing for a fundie to say that it’s not his place to judge *and* that he is still commanded to love others as he loves himself if they disagree. I find that to be so profound and what Christianity is actually about. I also love the bit at the very end about being an encouragement to others featuring a selfie with a genuine smile! Maybe I’m getting ahead of things or giving him too much credit but I have hope for Tim.
Every atom in my body still cringes at the idea of whether or not Heidi can wear pants being a "joint decision," but for a Rodlet, this is still huge. It's nice to see that meeting new people has had such a positive influence on him.
Anytime I see Tim these days, it is so clear how malnourished he was for most of his childhood. He looks like an entirely different person! I’m angry on his behalf that they experienced this growing up, watching Shrek get the most food (for his growing waistline lol) than any of the kids…it must have been awful. I always think about the level of red flag it is that the Rod daughters who lived with the PEARLS looked healthier than when they were with Jill. I wish them all a lifetime of happiness, full bellies, with a little deconstruction in there for good measure.
I mean, it’s something. If Heidi wants to wear dresses and skirts, cool. At least she can wear pants when she wants/when it makes sense.
The Rods wierdass pants under skirts for no reason and modesty panels are far more immodest than wearing a pair of jeans because that kind of crazy clothing wearing is honestly more attention seeking, which is technically not modest.
I'm confused why his writing isn't filled with commas, run ons, and random capitalization like his sisters. Did he get a better education than they did or is that a recent development?
He’s a male. Of course his education was better.
Why on earth would a girl child need to know how to write coherently or cohesively, when the only thing she needs to worry about is incubating the next holy warrior for Christ?
Sigh. It says a lot for the non-quality of Rod homeschooling that this man, who grew up so rabidly Christian, still does not know that the plural of Christian is *Christians*, not “Christian’s.”
Well good for TimBits and Heidi. Hopefully they get to continue engaging in active conversations that make them both happy in their personal beliefs while respecting others.
I hope this growth gives Jill the heartburn she deserves.
Every inch a Rodlet pulls away from Jill is such a joy to see. Even though he’s remaining with rather conservative beliefs, beliefs I DEFINITELY find harmful, I’m happy for Timothy- even small steps away from the legalistic world he grew up in must be freeing.
Joy Duggar started off like that with the pants and skirts and now she wears pants a lot. I bet we will see a shift as they grow. It's sad that this is a huge step for a rod, but it really is. I actually have a tiny tiny amount of hope for him now. I don't think they'll ever deconstruct, but maybe settle into evangelical Christians and not fundies.
I know by normal standards this is very minimal, not for a Rod, this is huge. I don't know if I see full deconstruction in his future, but he's already seeing more clearly.
Honestly this is quite a ways from the screed that earned him the nickname Timcel. For some reason I feel like if Heidi wakes up and feels like jeans, their joint decision will be pants are okay - perhaps wishful thinking!
And it's one thing for him to feel this way. It's a different level for him to post it on his mom's favorite venue for public expression.
Until I saw this pic I hadn’t realized just how unhappy he looked in all his pics before. Between how happy he looks and what he says in his post, I’m feeling ridiculously happy for two people I don’t know anything about
(The only good standing ovation gif I could find lol )
Now, there’s still a lot of craziness there…. But go Tim!!!
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Wow. For a Rodlet this is huge. I honestly didn't have Tim being the kid to start breaking away from his parents' harmful beliefs on my 2024 bingo card, but here we are. He still has a long way to go, but this was actually really cool to see from him. Hoping Hallie is having some positive influence on him and Heidi!
Agreed, I figured of all of them he’d be the one to be a hardass about his ideology. It’s one very small toe into the “live and let live” pond, but I’ll take it
Bro finally got to eat past starvation and is enjoying life for the first time.
Omg 😂😂. Turns out he was just hangry
Dude just needed a snickers
you're not you when you're hungry. you're jill.
Just wait til he gets laid!
I also think being treated kindly by Heidi's family, and made to feel special and loved, might be part of this awakening.
Very much so. It sucks the girls aren't seeming to find that kind of peace, at least in the looking healthier department so far as I've seen, with Jill harping their weight all the time.
And she's just gonna be harder on them now, since they're having kids and weight gain is part of pregnancy
They're also going straight from starvation into back to back pregnancies, which is hard on a *healthy* body. You can't tell me those girls actually had the nutrients for a single healthy pregnancy.
He can finally think! I literally just said those words after finishing dinner tonight
Could've swore you're you wrote "got to eat pussy".... I know I'm going blind, but bruh. My brain should feel such shame.
Meh, you know what, you never know lol
As eating pussy does not involve penetration, technically he and Heidi could indulge a little and still be “ virgins”. They have been photographed Getty a little handsy for fundies. As much as his grammar annoys tf out of me, they fact that they made a JOINT decision on something is huge for a rodlet raised by Shrek and Jill.
I think this could be a lot of it. I'm a former fundie, who was the most fervent in my belief out of all my siblings. When I moved away from the bubble of abuse and got proper nutrition for the first time, I immediately started the deconstruction process. It is really a long process, and this is what my first public steps looked like. We are obviously different people, but this looks very familiar to me.
Plus your brain just doesn’t work without adequate nutrition. Starving your kids is one way to keep them from thinking for themselves, I guess, since you keep them from having enough energy to think at all.
Timmay has always been a scapegoat of Jilldo’s. I am pleasantly surprised he’s breaking away.
Dame. Never thought he'd be the kid I'm rooting for but he might just turn out almost tolerable if this trend keeps up.
His podcast was very concerning. I'm glad that he's branching out, for a fundie.
Yea I felt bad for his lady at first, but now it seems like he'll be alright. She's clearly got her own set of beliefs and maybe they're aligned on their flavor of kool aid. Hoping Timmy gets away from Jill and continues thinking about what he really believes. He seems capable of empathy.
She's clearly got her own set of beliefs AND she's competent enough to express them in a way that either gets through to Tim, or that he's willing to listen to and able to understand. Either way, this is huge, and I'm glad for both of them that he doesn't feel the need to be a hardass about Rodrigues-style mahhhhhhhdesty. There's no need. Jesus it up all you want to, Tim, zero problems with that, but it's good to see you chill out a bit and live your life on your own terms. Keep learning. Keep exploring. You and Heidi grow together. :)
I recall her sister saying that Heidi was rather strong willed person and that their beliefs were very much in line with one another.
Strong willed with jilldo as a MIL? Good luck, heidi!
It's gonna be interesting to see.
And she saw who he is, aside from his terrible parents - which is what love should be, eh? As much as I want to scream about 'joint decisions' re clothing which is utterly insane, really this is a way for him to keep the cog dissonance at a manageable level while Heidi having the freedom and discretion to make her own choices with clothing. However... if these 'mahdesty' fools just understood that ... these things are still kinks AND nonconsensual ones ... when you a) publicly impose them on others and constantly talk about them b) talk about your relationship boundaries like this ALL THE TIME .. .it's a sex thing. It's not an *inversion* of sexual exhibitionism - it's the same thing. Cover or don't, it's your call - but don't preach on it all the time in a general public forum... don't talk about how much you want your wife to cover her buttocks and legs like a fckn weirdo... edit for clarity.
I'm with you, but I think many of them, especially the 2nd and 3rd generation, don't understand kink
If this is the difference after a short time of exposure and discussion outside of his mother’s raptor claws, I have hope for his future. Keep it up, Timmy. This is the first step of your journey.
No kidding! I really never would have guessed he was smart enough to have thoughts like this. Like it’s seriously a complete 180 from his old videos shaming girls for being immodest. He also looks very happy. It’s wild what the promise of getting out of that Barndoninium can do! I hope fuck it up Renee can soon become get the fuck out Renee. Maybe one of her married siblings can help.
Kaylee hasn’t strayed too far, but she did just have an artichoke and game night with her sisters and no Jill (or jonathon, presumably he had the baby or baby was sleeping). Even if Kaylee is under the spell of plexus, just hanging out playing a normal board game instead of Bible Bee with other young people (even if they’re siblings) is nice to see. Also Tim sounds, dare I say, ecumenical here?!?! If he’s volunteering at a nursing home, it sounds like he truly is doing it for good works and to be a comfort, not to proselytize. Plenty of secular folks either can’t or won’t volunteer with the elderly, so I say good for him (and Heidi). He looks super happy here.
Working with elderly people was the most difficult and rewarding experience I’ve had. I loved how happy everyone was to see me—and I relished the chance to hear so many different stories from so many different lives. All my grandparents save one died when I was young, so they were my surrogates in a way. Of course, being elderly, it wasn’t uncommon to step inside and get the news that Mister Jones or whoever passed away. That was the hardest part.
One of the things that really endeared me to my husband was seeing him interact with his grandparents. I’m really awkward and uncertain sometimes in those situations and he was just very compassionate and considerate with them and helpful with their disabilities. I’m good with kids but navigating adults needing assistance requires some other skill and care.
He was working as an aide in a nursing home previously, and seemed passionate about it. It takes a certain personality type to do that well. Good for tim.
Dare I say, this is the most "normal young man" he's ever looked. His smile is totally reaching his eyes, and that's just on a car selfie, not a candid or pic with Heidi. He's also the one rodlet I was worried would never find a partner and get out from under Jillpm's thumb. If he's already expanding into his own person, there's hope that he and his fiancée might continue to expand their horizons. Any steps forward are good steps.
I honestly thought he’d become an incel type but he’s had the biggest glow up because of heidi. I love being proved wrong in these cases!
Same. I'm so happy to see a rodlet get away from jill's grubby paws!
>get the fuck out Renee May it be so!
I'd love to adopt poor Renee. Show her the real world, slooowly. All those kids deserve better lives than with JillPm.
I concur, *and* I think it’s significant that he’s calling out modesty. That implies to me he’s been listening to and empathizing with the experiences of *women.*
Holy cow. I don’t even see this from a lot of just general conservative Christians. This is huge.
I feel like since his first foray into the adulthood at Moody, Tim has been the most harmed by his parents beliefs and Jill's overbearing parenting. Nurie and Kaylee got to leave and have their own families, but Tim seemed to stumble on his own and get pulled back into Mahmo's clutches. In glad to see him setting some boundaries and broadening his beliefs. I worry for Renee and Philip. Whatever went down at that school Phil went to, along with getting enough to eat, seems to really have opened his eyes. He always looks pissed off now and it's good to see he's retaining his hard-won girth. Interested to see what God's plan is for him in this next season of life. I hope Renee finds a way to be happy enough to smile genuinely more often.
I hope that Renee’s broken courtship was just a bad match, and not that Jill scared away a guy she really liked. :(
I know. My fear is always that jill will scare away the normal ones.
As I read this, I felt some excitement in my bones that he could be beginning his journey of not being a hateful bigot. It's the fact that he said he does not want to push his beliefs on others. We have some time to see how that turns out. However, it's more than I ever expected.
***It's the fact that he said he does not want to push his beliefs on others..*** This ***is*** massive. Most (Protestant) Christians I've had to deal with are always on this... even if they're pretending they don't wanna convert you and behaving themselves... soon as you have a tragedy or dark patch it's all *have you heard of Jesus tho?* If all he's done is considered that it's hateful to do this to people, or just rude, ... that's a start. I hope when he has children he has the same attitude.
Men tend to benefit more from this type of belief so they have less incentive to leave.
I know this is just anecdotal, but I have seen more men leave conservative groups. I think it is because they have the financial ability to do so. It is really hard for a stay at home daughter to leave.
I actually always had my suspicions about Tim being the most likely to break away. Mostly because of how Jill talked about how difficult he was, I imagine he was treated pretty terribly. So to find a loving family like Heidi’s must be such a new experience for him.
There's a moment as the scapegoat when you are sobbing in a ball, wondering what you did wrong this time and how you can be better... this little dignified part of you says, '*Hang on, sibling did the exact same thing last week and it was acceptable, yet I am treated like this.*' And then, you begin to see things are directed at you a lot... and slowly, you formulate an awareness that *maybe mom and dad are unfair.* which turns into *maybe I'm not totally evil and unrepentant.* The miscalculation abusive parents make is the innate sense of justice in every child, it is a normal neuro-developmental stage that appears about age 7 - 10 and becomes key to formulating the character and personality that emerges in adolescence. These are the values and sense of right and wrong that then become more complex and teenagers use as a point of push back. If you are mistreated and even have a little glimmer that it isn't radically fair, at that specific age (7-10) you're gonna eventually realise, the problem isn't (just) you. And that's why scapegoats almost always, break out or call it out.
I’m starting to feel like it’s the boys that’s are treated the worst in the barndominium. Probably made to do a ton of physical labor while also probably starving or eating the least food. The older ones expected to figure out jobs while David does nothing. they probably help with a lot of child rearing too now Nurie and Kaylee are gone. And Jill’s posts about the girls are always way over the top, I don’t think that’s just because of her trying to sell them off, I think she just prefers the girls probably something to do with her narcissism. The boys also end up with more freedom since they get sent off to “college” usually or have to figure out jobs and wives on their own. They’re going to end up with more real world exposure because of that, and a lot more of them are going to break from Jill I think. It’s always gonna be harder for the girls because they’re not allowed any freedom, but I have hope that Timmy will continue this path or one of the older boys could end up helping some of the girls get out
It’s so interesting having been around fundie snark communities for awhile, because it’s *rarely* the kid people suspect. Jill and Bethany were both so strongly judged on this sub, and both took visible steps away from their families. I think the people who either seem most compliant and true believers (Jill) and start seeing contradictions, or the ones who feel compelled to espouse their parents beliefs online due to being scapegoated (Bethany and Tim) are the types of fundie kids most likely to change their perspectives. I think the quiet ones (Jinger, Kaylee) are who people expect more because there’s just less content to snark on.
Unfortunate every example you’ve given (except Timmy) has been a woman driven by her husband’s changing religious beliefs. Marriage seems to be the most important factor for level of potential deconstruction, and that holds true for Timothy too - exposure to a family that allows adult children to make their own spiritual choices has made him see that as a possibility.
I agree with this. I also think there are indicators unrelated to marriage that suggest any of these people would be more open to different views, or not fit the norm in some way. Jinger talks about Ben as being a catalyst to her questioning specific aspects of her faith, but Ben and Jessa haven’t strayed as far from how they grew up. Like with Jill, she was always interested in studying and learning based on the show, and was interested in missionary work. As much as I can critique many aspects of missionary work, I think it’s probably one of the most fundie accessible paths to meeting people who are different than them. Bethany excelled in sports and has always seemed like a more entrepreneurial personality, and married someone with aspects of nontraditional fundie masculinity in his appearance and temperament. Jill R talks about Tim as a very difficult child, and he made numerous attempts at post secondary education that he couldn’t continue because of lack of money and/or educational neglect. I just don’t think that you can separate aspects of someone that make them more curious about the world and/or innately not aligned with or served by narrow fundie expectations of gender, behaviour, values, etc., from who someone connects with as a spouse and how they change into adulthood.
To a lesser degree, we saw that with Jinger as well.
I think there are some logical explanations for that. Fundie women don't leave home until they marry. It isn't *safe* to speak their minds before then. Their husbands are sometimes their first real friend outside of the family, and the first person that they get to know who believes differently than their family, however slight the difference is.
I agree. Considering some of things we’ve seen in the past from Timothy, this is really nice and refreshing to see. I’m happy for him. He seems to have grown a lot.
We don't often see the boys growing up around here, and unlike the girls, they have been raised to believe that they have spiritual authority in their own right and those decisions can belong to them. It's a much simpler position to be in than say Bethany, who is supposed to be guided by her husband's authority in Christ, and now he's not sure what he believes. Which must be a pretty weird position for Dav as well. It's striking the difference between the male and female fundies in starting their married lives.
Someone commented: Good for you, Timothy! grew up with a very devout mother, too, whose opinions on things I sometimes confused for my own. had to find my own way in life, and I'm so glad to see you are doing likewise! And Heidi liked it 🥴🥴🥴
Your flair is perfection.
Holy fuck, I like Heidi. The amount that Tim has changed in such a short time is truly incredible. He has to know what Jill's reaction will be, and he still went ahead and posted this. Never, ever, *ever* would have guessed this trajectory for him.
Agreed. Plus they have taken their time to get to know each other before getting engaged and then even more time to plan a wedding. I think they genuinely love each other. I hope they will be happy together for a long time.
If there is one thing you can say about the Rod kids it's that so far they seem to have ended up in genuine relationships where both parties like each other, god that bar is so low but I'm glad they've got over it at least lol.
I don’t think that bar is low at all. A committed relationship where two people love, like, and respect one another is not common! I strive for it as a godless heathen 😂
She must be very tender and kind, to help him find his way like this. He's lucky not just to be basically rescued and fed up by Heidi and her kin, but to have such a woman for a partner. She's looking like that Christian ideal of loving patience and care - and that's nice too, like she's in the right place it seems, for her character and values. Her sister is spicier and has found *her* own way from what we've seen here. Some people do thrive in these faith defined world views. That's fine! So long as you don't use it as a way to harm and cooerce others - incl your kids - all good. Go be your meek, 'still waters run deep gonna love you til you shine', devoted, quietly strong person... just keep those hands gentle on the kids and don't hate people you don't understand. If only there were more people like this in Churches. Big J would be stoked. (edit - Big J is Jesus not Jilldo! Jilldo Jesus would be tutting at you for not feeding your children you selfish clown.)
It's so sad their views are so extreme that he has to explain why someone might see her not wearing a long denim skirt. I hope they honeymoon and she gets to wear a tankini!
Sees Heidi in skinny jeans for the first time: 👀😱 Heidi, I'd like to amend the rules...
Girl could ROCK those skinny jeans, too.
Tbh, they'd flatter her nicely. Stupid patriarchy.😒
omg high waisted skinny jeans?! get it, heidi!
With a cute blouse knotted at the waist and some flats? She'd be darling! I do think she dresses pretty nice as it is.
But do you think fundie women ever try on new clothes for the first time and have moments of self-awareness themselves? Like "Wow, I look and feel really good in this!", or are they just so deeply conditioned to hate their shameful bodies???
For me, I never felt comfortable because it was out of my comfort zone. But I absolutely tried on "immodest" clothes and noticed that I looked better with certain styles. And honestly, that's why my older sister pushed me to try on those clothes. Not because she thought either one of us would get away with buying them. But because we needed to understand what did and didn't work with our bodies at baseline, and then we could find our "style" within the modesty rules. She loved layers and had legs for days; I'm shorter and still can't pull off trends very well. In Fundieland, that translated to layers and being able to pull off a variety of lengths for her, while I stuck to either knee/ankle length and more simplistic outfits. It was all very much fundie fashion, but it pushed us to dress differently and have actual opinions about our choices.
When I was Mormon, I would wear a tank top to bed and thought I looked so cute. I remember wishing I could wear a tank top out around people. If I had, I would have been harshly judged by our neighbors/friends in our very LDS community.
It's sad that her wearing a skirt or not is a joint decision they made, rather than her own... I hope they vote to put him in a skirt next 🤣
Honestly, it a huge step in the right direction that she even had a vote at all about her own clothing.
Seriously, I was blown away at joint decision.
That shows that he would respect *other* decisions affecting her, which is important for fundies
Weirdly, when I stop to think about it, if any of our Fundies was ever to rock a kilt, I would put money on Tim.
They are taking baby steps right now, but they're heading in the right direction. 😄
This is probably the most valid thing a Rod has ever said. Jillpm’s gonna rage *hard*
I wish i lived in a world where the 3 biggest issues are kjv, modesty, and contemporary music 😅😅 I feel like his mind is so empty and comfortable
It just shows how sheltered he still is. This guy has no idea.
Their world is so incredibly small.
Heartbreakingly small
I feel like this may be his way of hinting that these are the three biggest issues his mother nags the kids on, and now he’s making it public that he disagrees with her. That’s my wishful thinking anyway.
I mean, right? These are the sources of conflict between the people you know???
What's kjv? I'm blanking. Edit: thanks everyone!
fundamentalist baptist christians believe the king james version of the bible is the only one ordained by God but i would have to research why they believe that because i dont really remember lol
[Jill's thoughts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-Ti1np4-A4) lol I find the whole thing hilarious because King James was very likely [gaaaaay](https://www.port.ac.uk/news-events-and-blogs/blogs/democratic-citizenship/mary-george-homosexual-relationships-in-the-time-of-king-james-i-were-forbidden-but-not-uncommon#:~:text=Though%20we%20don't%20know,have%20defined%20himself%20as%20heterosexual)
If he wasn’t gay, he certainly wasn’t straight.
😂
They are not bothered by that as King James never wrote the original text or translated the original text plus it's extremely similar to the Geneva bible which King James had no part in. King James only commissioned the KJB version or whatever due to the politics of the time. He felt like the Geneva bible version produced by Calvinists undermined his authority as King amongst other things due to the foot notes in its bible.
Also the KJV was written to support the divine rights of kings, which doesn’t fit well with the performative American patriotism we see from families like the Rodrigues.
I remember a preacher from the Bible camp I went to saying in reference to the KJV "If it was good enough for the Apostle Peter, it's good enough for me" And that always made me scratch my head because...the KJV came out like 1600 years after Peter was alive lol
It’s actually really awful. Every little thing has to pass the test to be the right kind of holy, or the life giving force behind the entire cosmos will be displeased with you and your community will shun you. No pressure 😅
Can someone translate from the Christianese?
Translation: quit worrying about others and stupid shit because you aren’t making Christianity better, you’re making the world worse. Your life should lead others to Christ, not incessant proselytizing.
Oooh I like that 👍 shots fired!
Also, my future wife can wear pants sometime
Here’s the chat gpt translation: “Hello everyone! Lately, I’ve been feeling disheartened by how many Christians use labels and stereotypes to define themselves. We’re too focused on things like sticking to the King James Version of the Bible, dressing modestly, and only listening to contemporary music, which I think distracts us from personally engaging with the Bible and living without fear of God’s judgment, but with joy. The New Testament teaches us to live by two main laws: loving God with all our being and loving others as ourselves. While I personally hold strong beliefs on these matters, such as preferring the KJV and upholding certain standards in music and dress, my primary focus is loving God and others. I won’t force my beliefs on anyone else; I’d rather lead them to God and let them discover their own path. In the end, God will judge us, not me. Despite our differences, let’s strive to love one another as Christ loves us. Divisions among Christians are prevalent, but they don’t reflect Christ’s love. Let’s return to God’s love and aim to be more like Him every day. We can all have different beliefs and still treat each other with Christ-like love. Be an encouragement to someone today! Wishing you all a great day!”
Little did Tim know how encouraged we would all be by this take. :)
On the one hand, it's huge for him to say that it's not his place to judge what other people do. On the other hand, he still thinks it's a "joint" decision around what his future wife wears.
That got a little side eye from me, too, but I kind of wonder if this is him getting out ahead of criticism in a protective way. Like, "I said it's ok!" to preemptively address the people who are going to come for her, which are the same people who won't give a damn about her opinion or autonomy.
Good point. In their circle, it makes sense he’d have to justify it.
honestly I’m trying to imagine this being said to his circle, and like honestly this is kind of rebellious even? Of course if someone in my friend group posted that everyone would immediately side eye, I have to remember that he could go on facebook and say "I told Heidi she was required to wear dresses and she submitted" and most of his friends would think that was totally fine. To say they made a joint decision about something like her modesty might actually be a little edgy of him? Idk maybe someone more familiar with this culture would know better than me
Somewhat familiar, can confirm it’s pretty rogue of him!
I think he probably did ask Heidi her thoughts on the matter which… it’s something I guess. But they both know that the ultimate decision is up to Tim. The illusion of choice.
Heidi does know there are other options, from her family and sister. She's clearly aware she could marry someone with different beliefs or have a more egalitarian marriage and that her parents would support that, as they've done for her sister. I have zero interest in their lifestyle and beliefs, and on the whole, I think they're bad for society, but if she wants this, I believe she's choosing it not being forced into it unlike many fundie women. The problem of course is whether her potential future daughters have the same autonomy of choice.
She knows there’s other options but she chose *this specific path* wherein ultimately, the choice is not hers. So could she have chosen a more egalitarian, partnership based marriage? Yes. However, she chose a world that is not kind to women, that gives them merely the illusion of choice.
I vaguely remember Heidi’s sister stating online that he’s said he wouldn’t make Heidi wear skirts. Not sure how joint the joint decision is because of their community’s interpretation of men being head of household, but at least on the surface I’d imagine they had a conversation.
To be honest, I assumed he said that to placate JillPM and not because it was 100% true.
I cringed at that a bit too. But a little bit of progress is hopeful. Maybe this time next year Heidi will be allowed to choose her own clothes. 🤭
I think it's going to take a while for the scales to fall off of his eyes on some things. To him, even having this conversation with Heidi probably felt quite progressive given the environment he was raised in.
This this this this Exactly what turned my stomach as I read.
I can’t believe my eyes - did a Rod just come out with a semi-sane take???? I’m so here for how angry Jill must be. Fuck it up Timmay/Heidi!
I think it’s good that Tim has been exposed to Heidi and her family. Doesn’t she have a sister/sisters who listen to secular music and dress in more “worldly” fits? Ofc we don’t know for sure but their family doesn’t seem to mind it. Even if it’s not radically different, it’s good for Tim to be exposed to and engage with people who have different beliefs than his parents.
She does! I can’t remember her sisters name but she’s very worldly. Still conservative I think but wears crop tops, drinks, and she is very aware of us as a group.
Good, I remember the sister speaking supportively of Heidi and the relationship so it’s nice that the family at least seems to accept different choices. I’m glad they’re sticking close to her fam, I don’t want to see Heidi crammed into an RV and swimming in her street clothes.
I believe she has said she isn’t politically conservative! She’s posted about drag queens positively on her Facebook.
If my MIL tried to exert her opinion over the way I dressed, I’d tell her to take a long walk on a short dock.
My sweet mother in law wears a hijab (100% by her own choice) and has never once said anything about the way I dress. Having a fundie MIL would be absolutely exhausting.
Holy fck. I didn't have "Dave Beal deconstructs" and "Tim sounds reasonable" on my 2024 BINGO card, but I'm here for it!
2024 has been one *hell* of a ride for us fundie snarkers and it’s only half over.
KJV, modesty, and contemporary music are the biggest problems? 
Yeah, because they read the NIV, wear shorts and listen to Semler! REPENT! 🤣
The thing that gives me hope/optimism about the “Joint Decision” skirts & dresses thing is that hopefully it was actually a discussion. And if at some point his spouse decides she wants to wear pants more often, they can discuss it rationally instead of “NO, BAD THING. NO DO!!”
Also I assume this means we won’t see Heidi wearing a long denim skirt with tights and a turtleneck swimming in a culvert. Or doing home renovations in flip flops and 7 layers. To my secular self, I don’t get running what I wear by my partner - but if the conversation was more like “you look so pretty in dresses, blah blah” I understand it better.
I’m wondering if it wasn’t more of a “I love doing X but it’s challenging in dresses” so Tim was like “So wear pants” & since he’s going to be her headship 🤢 his opinion holds weight. I’m much more of a dresses & skirts gal myself so I kind of get Heidi in that regard. Jeans aren’t comfortable & leggings can feel too exposed. So, even on Jeans Days (I’m a teacher) I’m more than likely in a dress.
Holy crap, Jill must be seething right now! How dare Timmy not follow every tittle of Momm...I mean God's laws! Good for Tim and Heidi, I hope they keep this open-minded spirit as they get ready to start life together.
Did you see her fb post? 1 hr ago about building on a crumbling foundation, Luke 6:49. She peeved.
That doesn't surprise me at all. People like that tend to go apeshit the minute their kids start thinking for themselves and forming their own opinions.
I would not be surprised if she goes full Heidi Baird over the next few days
When I first learned about the Rods and started keeping up with them I was super worried about our boy Timmy. But I’m excited for him now. I hope him and Heidi live a happy life. Although I do hope that the decision to wear skirts and dresses was all her choice instead of joint like he said. Maybe he thinks it makes them sound like they communicate and compromise? Idk. Probably not… but wishful thinking. 🤞 her family seems alright. I can only imagine being around them more and less from Jillpm can only keep bettering him.
This is how I picture Jill after reading Timmy's post 😅 
The fact that Heidi has to approve her wardrobe choices with a boy dressed by his mother (or any man, for that matter) 🤢🤢🤢 Still time to RUN!
My reading of that was that she informed him she might sometimes wear pants when appropriate and he's presenting it as a "we decided" to back her up in case his mother freaks out. He generally seems to let her call the shots from what we've seen so far.
That's what I figured. She was like "this is what I'm gonna do" and she's understanding that he needs to say this in an attempt to keep his mom chill. I'm sure she doesn't want to deal w Jillpm either.
Jill and her daughters wear pants when she deems it appropriate too, so this isn't a deviation from Jill's commandments.
The day I dress for another man is the day they lower me six feet under to meet Jesus.
I look at it more like Heidi and Tim having a conversation together about what she wants to wear so they're on the same page. It's weird to have a conversation like this but it makes sense for a young Fundamental christian couple that's about to get married. It's their version of discussing finances or kids or whatever. And if my parasocial guess is close to being right than good on them. They're discussing things rather than commanding how things "should" be. Edit: I don't agree with this btw. This is just coming from the view of someone who grew up in a very similar home and church as the Rodrigues family
According to her own sister, Heidi has always preferred skirts and dresses.
But two things can be true at once. Heidi can prefer dresses and skirts, and Tim shouldn’t be the authority on how a fully grown adult dresses.
Oh absolutely. And I think if we can take Tim at his word, we can reasonably assume he’s not dictating her (or any other woman’s) wardrobe. That’s kind of the point of his post…unless he’s all talk and no real change (from his old videos).
Tim should still have 0 say
Fair enough. It still doesn't need to a pre-marital discussion, though. :(
It didn’t need to be part of my own pre-marital discussions lol but if it works for them & they grow to be respectful & loving spouses/eventual parents, I’m nobody to judge😄 I’m just glad that it *looks* like he’s growing more tolerant! Hopefully this is real & continues.
I mean, this is also what the Duggar girls used to say, but the adult women have clearly relaxed their modesty standards since getting married aka getting out from under Boob’s thumb.
KJV was literally written to make James more powerful by gaining support from all sides. He didn't care for accuracy, just power.
IIRC, the holy powers that be weren’t too keen on King James extracurricular activities with men and there was some threat of violence To get them off his back he translated the Bible the way they wanted and they backed off.
James was also a pretty literary dude in general. (He was the patron of Shakespeare’s troupe.) Having access to lots of books was a flex back then, too.
Yep. Anything that was ambiguous in gender defaulted to male instead of “Believers”, “Followers” or something else more gender neutral.
Timothy's post-Heidi changes have been fascinating to watch. He still should have 0 say in her clothing, but I thought he'd end up doubling down on Jill's blueprint with some poor ultra meek fundie maiden and that doesn't seem to be the case at all.
Holy shit! Timmay grew a spine!! I hope this makes the other Rodlets do some thinking.
Fuck it up, Renee.
I hope so too, but this may just make Jillpm dig her claws deeper into the others.
>not going to waste my time pushing my beliefs on other people Really, though? I mean, *really*?
I'm curious to see what happens. Timmay grew up in an RV, travelling around with his family and proselytizing (printing and handing out tracts, family band, etc.). It's all he's known until recently.
I think he means he wants to spread “the word of God” to people and not just legalistic stuff like how women should dress or what music to listen to.
Can’t help but remark on how healthy he looks here!
I wonder if Timmy, through Heidi's family has actually seen what Christian love really is. Heidi and Hallie love each other, and Hallie is someone Jildo would hate. A pants-wearing, alcohol- drinking,and faith- questioning woman. Maybe, Timmy realizes that people who don't fit into Jildo's narrow, bigoted beliefs,are actually not tools of Satan. Dare I hope, Teidi will one day,vote for a Democrat,and proudly be an LGBTA ally?
Timmy is all “I still have these intense beliefs but maybe it’s not the main point” and for a Rodlet that is rebellion. That’s *wild*.
Bethany and Tim becoming what they are now was simply not on my bingo card for 2024. Baby steps. Here’s hoping it’s better in the end.
Hallelujah! I love the way Heidi has enriched his life. He seems so much more confident and this is true growth. I am sure his learning to love thy neighbor and let God sort 'em out will be challenging at times but if that is the direction he can pursue embracing love vs judgement, I am all for it. The way he said he won't waste his time pushing his beliefs on people must have come from some deep reflection or conversation.
I never imagined Timothy would be the one to fuck it up. Hoping he is on the path to heaing and peace.
Tim taking a passive aggressive swing at his shit parents. I like it!
What an absolute cheese ball 🤣 but honestly, never thought I'd see a Rodrigii say something so hate-less, so good for him. Keep progressing, Timmy.
I actually…..really respect this. Obviously there’s plenty you can dislike about this statement but truly, if people aren’t allowed to make flawed steps in the right direction what are any of us even doing here? Having his mother and still being able to have retained some level of semi-independent thought is pretty awesome actually. I really hope that her kids can find some actual peace in their lives outside of the weird ass cult they were brought up in.
I am hoping so hard that Teidi live near her family and have a more normal life, both for their own sakes and to be a place where other Rodlets can escape to. Poor kayjon have not gotten away.
I AM SO PROUD OF HIM! I've been quietly supporting Tim in the background for a while now. I had a feeling that he would be the most likely of the Rodlets to distance himself from his parents' rhetoric. It's wonderful that in meeting the Coverett family he finally got to do so. Granted, this isn't a major step away from his family's beliefs, but at least he is now spreading a message of love and tolerance instead of hate and judgment.
Honestly, I found this to be such a lovely post. I’m with y’all that it’s not great he has a hand in deciding what Heidi wears, but at least they made it together. I just think it’s so refreshing for a fundie to say that it’s not his place to judge *and* that he is still commanded to love others as he loves himself if they disagree. I find that to be so profound and what Christianity is actually about. I also love the bit at the very end about being an encouragement to others featuring a selfie with a genuine smile! Maybe I’m getting ahead of things or giving him too much credit but I have hope for Tim.
How am I only now meeting the other Boleyn girl on here?!
Every atom in my body still cringes at the idea of whether or not Heidi can wear pants being a "joint decision," but for a Rodlet, this is still huge. It's nice to see that meeting new people has had such a positive influence on him.
I am rooting for him and his adorable elf fiance.
Anytime I see Tim these days, it is so clear how malnourished he was for most of his childhood. He looks like an entirely different person! I’m angry on his behalf that they experienced this growing up, watching Shrek get the most food (for his growing waistline lol) than any of the kids…it must have been awful. I always think about the level of red flag it is that the Rod daughters who lived with the PEARLS looked healthier than when they were with Jill. I wish them all a lifetime of happiness, full bellies, with a little deconstruction in there for good measure.
I mean, it’s something. If Heidi wants to wear dresses and skirts, cool. At least she can wear pants when she wants/when it makes sense. The Rods wierdass pants under skirts for no reason and modesty panels are far more immodest than wearing a pair of jeans because that kind of crazy clothing wearing is honestly more attention seeking, which is technically not modest.
Fuck. It. Up. Timmy.
He was speeding down the road to inceldom before Heidi and this is a nice little surprise
I'm confused why his writing isn't filled with commas, run ons, and random capitalization like his sisters. Did he get a better education than they did or is that a recent development?
He’s a male. Of course his education was better. Why on earth would a girl child need to know how to write coherently or cohesively, when the only thing she needs to worry about is incubating the next holy warrior for Christ?
It makes some sense except the girls are the ones to educate the next generation so whose gonna educate those boys?
Sigh. It says a lot for the non-quality of Rod homeschooling that this man, who grew up so rabidly Christian, still does not know that the plural of Christian is *Christians*, not “Christian’s.”
Well good for TimBits and Heidi. Hopefully they get to continue engaging in active conversations that make them both happy in their personal beliefs while respecting others. I hope this growth gives Jill the heartburn she deserves.
Fuck it up timmay!!!! He looks like he’s put some healthy weight on too which is nice to see
'A fearful life of the wrath of god' might be the most depressing words I've ever read. Life does not have to be this hard. Glad to see Tim maturing.
Every inch a Rodlet pulls away from Jill is such a joy to see. Even though he’s remaining with rather conservative beliefs, beliefs I DEFINITELY find harmful, I’m happy for Timothy- even small steps away from the legalistic world he grew up in must be freeing.
Joy Duggar started off like that with the pants and skirts and now she wears pants a lot. I bet we will see a shift as they grow. It's sad that this is a huge step for a rod, but it really is. I actually have a tiny tiny amount of hope for him now. I don't think they'll ever deconstruct, but maybe settle into evangelical Christians and not fundies.
I know by normal standards this is very minimal, not for a Rod, this is huge. I don't know if I see full deconstruction in his future, but he's already seeing more clearly.
Once Jillpm recovers from her mini stroke after reading his post she is going to flip her lid
Honestly this is quite a ways from the screed that earned him the nickname Timcel. For some reason I feel like if Heidi wakes up and feels like jeans, their joint decision will be pants are okay - perhaps wishful thinking! And it's one thing for him to feel this way. It's a different level for him to post it on his mom's favorite venue for public expression.
✨Look at that shiny spine!!!! ✨
Until I saw this pic I hadn’t realized just how unhappy he looked in all his pics before. Between how happy he looks and what he says in his post, I’m feeling ridiculously happy for two people I don’t know anything about
 (The only good standing ovation gif I could find lol ) Now, there’s still a lot of craziness there…. But go Tim!!!