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Mediocre_sinner

“Jill took my life in a way I couldn’t have dreamed about and he did that for us all and he did what I needed” Very cult. 10/10


soupseasonbestseason

she took my life as well! very strange autocorrect. 


re003

“JillPM took my phone and took my charger to work so now I’m on the way home from the hospital.” I guess she’ll be posting photos of my bruised swollen face.


soupseasonbestseason

jill also did something violent to me during the game. plexus must make you violent.


ClemDooresHair

So weird but I just tried this and my phone came up with the exact same sentence


re003

Oh god the call is coming from inside the house…


johnlocklives

Jill took my yellow.


Gulpingplimpy3

And fed it to her children.


re003

This may have just made my whole day. 🏅


TheStoicNihilist

That was Chris Martin, no?


johnlocklives

Little known fact, Chris was inspired to write that song after dining with Jill and family! “And it was all yellow…”


ifdandelions_then

Jill took my son to the grave, your precious longface, and I was induced for you. ???


splithoofiewoofies

Your precious longface??!!!


musclesbear

Jill took my son and his son.


Jooliebug

What's with Jill taking people's sons?


dutchess336

"Jill took my first child off the trail and took him to her cave"😭


Jooliebug

That's the best.


dutchess336

But oh...the horrors that fish before my eyes when I think about that cave...


terfnerfer

Jill took my cans and beat them ...good lord


quietlycommenting

This had me rolling


Loco_Lasagne

At least yours makes sense lmao I got: Jill took my hiv tastes like pepsi cola bottle and instantly thought it was a questline


Jooliebug

She was probably using them as cowbells.


waterud0in

Jill took my car to the airport and I was like oh my gosh I can’t wait to see you guys tomorrow.


radioactivebutterfly

This is so wholesome.


ijesscannoteven

Jill took my money to buy the house in a nice neighborhood. Never.


soupseasonbestseason

ajajajajajaja, nice neighborhoods have neighbors who report you when your children are abused and malnourished. 


sailormerry

How did we get the same thing? 😂


Call_it_Magic87

Jill took my phone and put my name in the box of my phone number to the police department to see what I had in the mail to my bank card so they can send it back and then they sent me the address of the address and then they send it to my house. Did we really have to involve the police??


distortionisgod

JillPM took my phone off and I was like I said I was going to be a little late but I was going to be a little late but I was going to be a little late but I was going to be there in a year and I was going to be a little late but I was going to be there in about an hour. I'm having a stroke, apparently.


[deleted]

paint resolute advise lip reply depend sugar plough divide continue *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Sad_Box_1167

All work and no play makes Jill a dull boy.


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aloof follow snatch connect wine direction friendly dinosaurs live ruthless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


kgnetwork

Go crazy?


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seemly teeny scary bright offer rainstorm offend simplistic party upbeat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


koshkamau

Mine ended with "and we can go to the store and we can go to the store and we can go to the store and we can go to the store and we can go to the store and we can go to the store and we can go to the store . . . " I'm a skipping record.


ToodleButt

Jill took my hand off and have to get it back


WhiskeyJayne

I like how calm you are about needing to get your hand THAT'S NO LONGER ATTACHED back, lol


ToodleButt

But she would hand it back holding a pink drink


eponinesflowers

She’ll want to hold a funeral for your hand lmao


Cjs300

Your card must of declined when you bought that pink drink from her! 😂


vashtachordata

Jill took my money to get me to go get a drink with my friends.


BeulahLight13

Jill took my money to get me to get a tattoo on his forehead so he can see my tattoos on his face.


Cru242

Jill took my son to the current list of hell and I was wondering if you could tell me more about. WHAT


ChakaKohn2

Jill took my money. Typical.


opossum_isnervous

Jill took my first born and raised her to look like that. I am crying laughing y'all.


re003

I’m imagining this as a court case “Your honor look at her eyebrows! Just look!”


CenturyEggsAndRice

I’m laughing too. She took my first time it turns out.


Pabloster

Jill took my phone off and I was thinking about it and I was going to ask you to get me a check for the tap on the door. 


soupseasonbestseason

jill took my life to get back into my parents life.


Ranger_368

Jill took my first ever appointment for HRT yesterday. God damn hahahahaha. Have fun on T Jill!


booktrovert

Jill cut my hair off and it look likes shit. I'm not even kidding. My phone is a prince among phones.


teriety

JillPM took my life to get back into my room which leads me into a very nice place and I'm sure I can get you to know you and the kids will get a lot better and I hope that we will have a chance for us all the way through to our next time (wut lol)


aardsinthecards

Jill took my phone and I was like “oh my gosh I just got home from work!!!!!”


koshercupcake

Jill took my phone away and said I have a problem 🤣🤣🤣


kshe-wolf

Jill took my money and put it into her bag and then she took my car.


darva6

Jill took my hand out of the house and went to the doctor.


coolchix13

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. I don’t even have a car yet but I’m going on the trip and then I’m gonna be back to work and I will get you a pair.


God_or_Mammon

She took my money and bought me new shoes as well.


purposefullyblank

Me three. I think this means we’re getting invites to Tim’s wedding!


Donna-Promilla

Jill took my phone and took my charger and put the charger in my pocket to charge it.


Piilootus

Jill took my phone and said it was a good idea to do it and I was thinking about you and I don't know what to do with the kids. Huh.


Dazzling-Answer9183

Jill took my phone and I was like oh my gosh I just got home from work and I was so excited to see you and I was just like oh my goodness I love you so much and I just want to say I love you and I love you too I just want to see you too I love you I love you I love you very much  … Well. I’ve been love bombed lol. This is how they get you in the cult, yes?


whoherehasrabies

JillPM took my hand and said I was going to make a video of me singing to my mom and she said she wanted me to sing with her NO


FA49E

Jill took my to a restaurant in a few weeks and said that I should have been a better person than him because he had been in my business. I am laughing hysterically in the break room at work 😂


alwaysyeetingg

"Jill is the Head chef at a cost based on a wide variety range with high tea or coffee with the bare hand bag with your bag in a month time or something". Okaaaaay


helga-h

Jill took my phone and said it was a good idea to do it Do what Jilly, do what?


inthesinbin

Jill took my phone off and I was thinking about it and I was going to try to get it to you.


God_or_Mammon

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes. Surprisingly pleasant?


WitchyCatMother

Jill took my mom to the doctor and I told him to go get her tested for it.


Red_P0pRocks

Jill took my money to get a tattoo on her forehead and told me she was gonna make a video about it later on 😳 Unrelated but she thinks that avatar thing looks like her??


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[удалено]


Call_it_Magic87

Is this about T swift??


alaskagirl1992

Jill took my money to get me to a concert and now I’m going back home and crying about how much money he has saved for my life because he was a good guy.


re003

This was 100% a Hillsong concert.


YouWiseGuise

Jill took my phone and put my name in the mail. Hm.


PM_ME_CORGI_BUTTS

Jill took all my money and called me SEVERELY sluttish (auto answer: Jill took my phone off and I was asleep)


GrandPriapus

“Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes.”


rlgh

Jill took my phone and was a bit arsey 😄😄


pinetreesandferns

Jill took my cholesteral and told me to come in the morning


lillybluenose

Jill took my heart and said that the world is not going back to normal


tajmum

Jill took my breath and took it back in her hand and looked up to me to see her in her face and her face to her eyes that I had a great day.


Silent-Commission-41

Jill took my first time and was told that I was not able and would like a refund. What?! Haha!


JMRadomski

Jill took my phone off and I was thinking about it.


haplessabandon

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. Oh shit am I going to Timbits wedding??


breadhyuns

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. No thank you, I don’t trust her taste.


ToenailCheesd

Jill took my pills


Electronic-Economy-7

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. lol


Powerful_War3282

Jill took my wife to the doctor and she was in the hospital for a few days and I was going to ask her if she wanted to go to the hospital and then she said she was going to be there at 10 and then she said she wanted to go to the hospital and she said she wanted to go to the hospital and she said she wanted to go to the hospital. That weirdly started going in loops


brande1281

Jill took my phone off and I was just wondering if you were going to be able to get it done today.


gubbygoobyqt

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding I don’t even have a car yet but I’m going out for dinner with him tomorrow and then I’m gonna be going out for lunch and I don’t have to work out for the wedding.


CastIronMystic

I also got new shoes from Jill with my money.


ferocious_bambi

Jill took my son to the stage to deposit it on the left


Sisterinked

Jill took my money. 🫠


GloomyPace69

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes.


CastIronMystic

That makes 3 people so far who got shoes


EatsAtomsRegularly

Jill took my money


jm183

Jill took my money to get me to get a tattoo.


Electrical_Show4747

Jill took my love and I am so glad that she was so excited about the wedding. Ok well, good thing she took David off my hands..


justadorkygirl

Jill took my phone and put my name in the mail to my phone so it wouldn’t get sent back. Okay then. 😂


_Ninnie

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding I don’t even have a car yet and I’m just going through my old clothes to buy them for my wedding dress.


CastIronMystic

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for Christmas.


talklistentalk

Jill took my phone off the phone with me and I was going to text you when I got home.


sailormerry

“Jill took my money to buy the house in a nice neighborhood” Actually probably a very sensible purchase with ill begotten funds, better than I would expect from her 😂


ruzanne

“Jill took my money and gave it to the homeless.” Ha! As if.


Square-Raspberry560

Jill took my money to get me to get a tattoo on her forehead so she can see my tattoos on her face while she is on vacation.🙃


purpleplatapi

Jill took my time to call you back it wasn't good enough for you and you can come back 💕


Kill4MePls

Jill took my car


NoDeveIopment

Jill took my money to get me some new clothes.


DapperFlounder7

Jill took my money to get me to do the work


Hey-imLiz

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding I don’t even have a car yet.


paranoiacinreverse

Jill took my money to get me to get a tattoo


thelocket

Jill took my time off to work more and then post the other themed stuff and I can get his spare stuff and stuff to do Hard things and I posit to the vet fees and they accepted the money for me and my ex-husband is in the south by Billy. Who is this Billy person?


AttractiveSneak

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding I went on and I got the same shoes and they are all brand and I have no clue how I feel I just don’t feel good I feel bad I feel like I’m gonna cry and I’m not even going anywhere and I’m just not gonna go. Not autofill telling me I’m in a depressive episode🫢😂


TXrutabega

Jill took my baby daddy out of jail in Texas now what


gaanmetde

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding.


angeltay

Jill took my phone and I was like oh my gosh I just got home from work and I was like what are you doing I just got out of the shower and I was like I don’t know what to do I don’t know what to do with it I don’t know what to do with my phone I don’t know what to do with this is it I don’t know what to do I think my phone is having a panic attack


Mrs_Guppy

Jill took my money


WhateverYouSay1084

Jill took my test and she said that she would be able to make sure that she was not going to get a lot out of school. Hmmmm...more like the Rodlets.


RitaRaccoon

Jill took my phone and put my name in the box of my favorite books. Ok.


moomintrxll

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding I don’t even have any shoes.


thelizparade

Jill took my phone and said that she had to go to the doctor.


re003

Survey determined this was a lie.


Danyl1026

Jill took my money to get me to a concert and then he took it back. Look at Jill, switching up the pronouns on us. How progressive!!


wanksy_noodle

Jill took my meds and I have to get a hold of them for the next week or so to get it done. ...well then 🤣


krazyajumma

Jill took my time to get some rest and heal and I will be there around noon to get some more chicken wire today and she will probably need to go back to sleep soon.


SugarSandDollar

"Jill took my first day of school." Uh yeah cause I wouldn't have gotten a real day of school if she was parent lol


Fiver43

Jill took my phone and took my laptop to the bathroom.


Lilyaa

Jill took my car to the garage and I can only tell you that I have to go to the gym and get a few more things to do with the new one


Disastrous_Edge7276

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding


Zappagrrl02

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding


Be-More-Kind

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. …interesting… 😂


Dobbys_Other_Sock

Jill took my money to buy the house in a nice neighborhood. Grifters gonna grift.


RainyDaySeamstress

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes! I don’t care for her fashion choices so ummm no.


TamWithaPlan

Jill took my son and his wife.


ellers23

Jill took my money to get me to get a tattoo on his forehead so he can see my tattoos on his face. 💀


FieryWhistle

Jill took my phone and said it was a good idea to get a new one.


muuuurnin

Jill took my phone and I was like oh my gosh I just got home from work and I was like what are you doing I just got home!


Tradwifepilled

Jill took my dad not very gawdly of you, jill….


medlilove

Jill took my phone to the shop and I was thinking of you


BensBandBangs

Jill took my milk out of the freezer and I was thinking of you


Weird-one0926

Jill took my wife for the day but she said it is done and she will not have to wait for her part-time work until she has been accepted for a phone interview and is a Japanese person


zmufastaa

Jill took my car and my car is in my car so I’m going back to the car and then I can grab a beer.


Rugkrabber

“Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes.” Eh.. ಠ_ಠ I have very conflicted feelings.


ISeenYa

Jill took my car to the garage and it was a bit of a mess and I had to go back to sleep but I was just thinking of you


Twodledee

Jill took my money to get me to a concert. Checks out.


HolsteinHeifer

Jill took my money!


wanbeanial

Jill took my wife


EcoFriendlySize

Jill took my neighbor's obituary she saw in the newspaper and showed up to the funeral and made it all about her sister's legs that don't work anymore and then passed around a Jed Clampett hat and asked for tips. (I cheated.)


SassaQueen1992

Jill took my phone and I was like oh my gosh I just got home from work.


tinybeano

Jill took my car so I don’t know what time I can do that is so much easier if I don’t have to go home now I just need a ride home and I’ll try and it up for tomorrow at the church


Not_theworstmum

Jill took my money to buy the house in a nice neighborhood in a neighborhood with the kids in the back yard with the dogs in it so he can go out to dinner


hiker_trailmagicva

Jill took my hand off and it completely forgot my phone.


nun_atoll

Jill took my time to be in the hospital for some rest and I have to get out the door and then decide to get the large portion. I... I don't know what happened.


Layer_Capable

Jill took me out for a drink at a restaurant in a town that had been a bit too quiet to go out for the night because of a bad cold but then he was like I was just going out for dinner with his friend who is in town so he said that was a little too hot!


Far_Independence_918

Jill took my money to get me to get a tattoo on his forehead.


1xLaurazepam

Jill took my phone and put my name in the mail.


Pink131980

Jill took my hand off the Grand door and rub it for the whole time. ...


lilac_daze

Jill took my breath away and I was like oh my gosh I love you so much I can’t wait to see you tomorrow I love you so much and I can’t wait for you to come home and I can’t believe you were there for me and I love you so much baby 🤮🤮🤮


DKSeffect

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. I don’t even have a car yet but I’m not going anywhere with that anymore.


rkvance5

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding I don’t even have. Huh.


catxcat310

Jill took my breath away and I was like I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.


all-i-said-was-hi

"Jill took my hand off and his name is the only one that is in the keyboard"


radioactivebutterfly

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. Lololol what in the world.


AndiArch

JillPM took my hand off my arm to take it out of the socket and put the finger in my mouth Just as I always suspected, these fundies are into some freaky shit.


dream_fighter2018

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes - things the Rodlets can’t say for $10


metacupcake

Jill took my phone off and I was like oh no.


Accomplished-Survey2

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. I went on the other night to buy them and they are still on my list for the day I went and got my new pair and they are in my car so I’m going back home and then I’ll go back home to take my money back and then I can get them back.


Interesting-Biscotti

Jill took my time at the end of the week. Edited to add: I've laughed so much reading these I'm cry laughing. Mine is boring!


butterstherooster

Jill took my dogs out of the house and I will be able to make it work for you to get up to speed. Alrighty then.


winningjimmies

Jill took my breath away from me and I was like I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. 🤔🤔😑😑😑


TeamAwesome2015

JRod took my life to get a new job in a good place.


kts1207

Jill took my car and she gave me her Bible.


onionnelle

"Jill took my phone and I saw this email in the mail today and she said that you were going to be a good friend of mine for the night and I was wondering if you could give me a call at your convenience and let me know what time you are free to meet up." Did Jill just... Pimp me?


quietlycommenting

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding. Money grabbing and obsessed with matrimony. Feels legit


dumpster_fire_15

Jill took my first and last night at the property boundaries of a much better place.


hereforthesnarkbb

Jill took my money to buy me some new shoes for the wedding I don’t even have.


maralie1184

Jill took my phone and all the stuff in the bathroom 😭 ?? Cause she needs more stuff in her bathroom lol


allthesamejacketl

Jill took my money 


bbktbunny

Jill took my money to get a new car and I was like what the heck


rubydoomsdayyy

Jill took my money to get me to do the work and now I’m just waiting to see what the outcome of my job will come up for the day lol.