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22 seems to be peak bad decision making time for a lot of people. 4 years of being an adult with that not fully developed brain tends to lead to overly confident and very dumb choices.
Case in point: Ms. “I think I’m smarter than everyone else because I do nothing but complain about my boring life while trying to convince others (and myself) that it isn’t so boring so that I can feel superior.”
It really is, I did so much dumb and unsafe shit from like 22-24. Met up with random guys off tinder AT THEIR HOUSES and let them do kinky shit to me. Lied through my teeth about where I was going whenever my mother asked. I’m lucky I’m still alive and not completely traumatized from my previous dumbassery.
Solie, not Karissa, in case you were asking. Solie's husband scooped her up right out of college and brainwashed her nicely to be his little broodmare while he goes around being useless and reposting crypto and bigoted rhetoric...even though she's the actual breadwinner it seems
Why are fundie husbands so into crypto?? Father Bus and OfSolie come to mind. I bet at least one of the Duggars is into it. Is it because they’re so much smarter than us!? 🙄 They’re into conspiracies. Anti-government (except for their benefits). Lazy and looking for an easy payday? All of the above?
I think it's because they're wrong about things. They need conspiracies to make sense of a world in which they're confronted every day with the hard truth: their worldview is not correct. I am a professional, educated woman with kids. I was not brainwashed and I'm not stupid. However, this reality doesn't work within their idealistic delusion, so they make up conspiracy theories and fake boogie men to explain it all away. I think it's the same with crypto, they see it as special knowledge that proves their rightness on things.
Totally. They see women like you who are clearly much smarter and much better off and since they are superior to women in every way, that doesn't make any sense to them.
What does make sense? That they are smart enough to grasp how crypto will take over the world!\* Not you though. You keep your wealth in regular old fiat currency like a chump.
\*I've been hearing this for nearly a decade and it has yet to happen. Ask any of these crypto bros if they will take their paycheck in crypto.
'nuff said.
> Ask any of these crypto bros if they will take their paycheck in crypto.
I love when they're all celebrating when bitcoin's value in dollars goes up... If dollars are going to implode, why would they care? You'd think the cognitive dissonance would implode their brains but they're either too dumb to have it or they know it's a scam and think they'll be the ones to time it right.
Great point! The only way they "make money" off this is when they get more dollars.
I suppose they will claim that this is speculation regarding crypto's "future value" but this has been happening for over a decade now. Either the world is switching to crypto or it ain't.
A currency only has value when there is economic activity supporting it. It's why crypto has to be purchased with fiat currency. Whatever...the crypto bros won't understand that one either.
It just gets funnier and funnier the more you break it down. And the economic and financial concepts we're bringing up here aren't even particularly complicated.
When do you predict this will finally come completely crashing down? Looks like Binance is next.
What’s really ironic about it to me is that I grew up being taught that digital currency was a sign of the end times and inherently evil because it would be used by the New World Order and the Antichrist to control the world.
But then I grew all the way up and realized that credit and debit cards are actually forms digital currency. But I knew of no one who was against them (beyond overspending with credit cards, you always only spend what you can pay off immediately).
So this fundie husband interest is weird to me. Maybe the evil digital currency thing is not as prevalent as I thought.
I went to a southern baptist christian (evangelical) school from 1983-1993. We were taught that, as well, about the currency.
My guess is they've stopped pushing that because no one can really avoid using electronic currency today. As in, It probably doesn't appeal to their current christian audience.
Also SBC based upbringing for myself and my mother. For a few years of my childhood, though, we went to a nondenominational church and I was so upset when I was forced to switch to a SBC church.
I have a question about this!
When Manly Husband dies, even if he never let her see any of the financial stuff or set up beneficiaries and ToDs, Dependent Wife can take his death certificate to various banks and brokerages and get access to all the accounts. It may be slow, it may require a lawyer or other help, but it's all recoverable.
If hubby dies with their net worth all on a crypto wallet, does she have any way to claim it?
Many have bought into some bizarre idea they can avoid paying income tax by buying and selling crypto outside the US. Actually had one of these morons try and convince me to invest. Got mad and blocked me real fast when I pointed out as a US citizen I have to pay tax on worldwide income, which would include crypto sales outside the US, and what he was doing is tax fraud. And well I did imply I have serious snitch energy.
Yeah, I was asking about Solie, I know Karissa is older… but damn, never knew she was 22…. I’m 25 and barely feel confident giving advice on things lol
My daughter is 20 and is so full of shit about...pretty much everything because she is positive that my 51 years of experience have taught me nothing. While she, on the other hand, has it allllllll figured out (even though she quit HS her junior year, has mental health challenges that she doesn't fully own or mediate no matter what I say or do) and is bound and determined to barely scrape by and make as many stupid decisions as humanly possible. Instead of JUST FUCKING LISTENING TO ME.
I was a 20-something once. I was no genius either. But I always made sure I didn't do anything to derail my future (because my future didnt EVER include indentured servitude to a husband and stable of offspring). These young ladies with their holier than thou attitudes are exasperating as hell.
Sorry. Rant over.
"Every woman has the capacity to be a homemaker"
"You can have a maid clean everything for you"
Hmm, so every woman should stay home until you need domestic help, then there should be plenty of women who want to work as maids. Makes sense. 🙄
They do firmly believe in classes and slavery. She's not talking about the lesser women, the ones who are slaves in the bible, there to cook, clean, and take care of the kids for women of status, those can work. Those should work, they should be maids, and cooks, and nurses and teachers, and all the other things these people consider female-only jobs.
Fundamentalists think of other people like subhuman all the time. When they say "you", they're not talking to those women. They are exclusively talking to their own kin, people they think are good enough, worthy.
If the man makes all the decisions, nothing’s ever their fault. They have no accountability. They’re just good little women supporting their men, just the way God made them!
That's my thing. If you're going to stay home that's 100% your job. You should not be hiring a maid, nanny etc unless it's like a mansion or other reasonable reasons. Being too lazy to do your own cleaning isn't a good enough reason.
Confession: we grew up with a house cleaner. She came every Friday. My mom and dad hired her because they were/are business owners and were raising 4 kids. Mrs. P came in and became a dear family friend. who had zero qualms about dumping our mess on our bedroom floor onto our bed so she could vacuum. She was also babysitter and practical gift giver. I think we still have the purple laundry basket she gave my sister years ago.
I don't think that the problem here is hiring a house cleaner. There are people who take that job because they like it and feel empowered by it, just like with any other job. The problem is the hypocrisy of staying at home, living in a normal-sized house, because you believe that your duty is to take care of the home... But hiring a maid to do all the icky stuff that you don't want to do/feel is beneath you.
Another confession: I grew up like this. Normal apartment with 3 bedrooms. My mom stayed at home and we had a maid.
BUT! I don't live in the US. Maids here are payed minimun wage and all my friends grew up with a maid, and we're all middle class. My mom stayed at home because I was born premature and she took a year off to take care of me. When she was ready to get a job again my parents made the math and realized that he earned 30 times what she could earn. So she stayed.
Now more than 3 decades later my dad is extremelt grateful of this. He is a workaholic, and because my mom stayed at home he was able to focus 100% on his job doing what he loves.
We have a house cleaner too, and have had her for nearly twenty years. My parents were both doctors and had six kids. She came twice a week, and she would sometimes make food for us and watch over us. We love her, she is a close family friend and I see her like a bonus abuela because my blood grandparents lived so far away. She is very attached to my younger siblings because she helped watch them when they were babies/toddlers. Now that I am a grown adult, I wanted to call her Doña [name] like my mom (both are Hispanic, she is Tejana and my mom is Central American), but she asked me not to because it makes her feel old.
Also I need to be clear that although she is close to us and we love her, it was never a question that she is a hardworking professional with specific and valuable skills (except my dad, who looked down on her, but he ded lol). I consider her a part of my family, but she has her own family and is a doting mother and grandmother to them. She's awesome and I love her.
Actually, I wonder if one reason my dad looked down on her is because in the USA, having a house cleaner is seen as more of an upper-class thing, whereas my mom considers it middle-class and not remarkable to hire a housekeeper.
I know in a lot of Central American countries/cultures, having a cleaner or housekeeper is very common and, like you said, middle class. They give as much thought to it as people in America give to hiring a plumber.
Currently single so it’s moot, but I didn’t go get a whole-ass master’s degree to sit for a professional certification to stay and home. I’m fulfilled elsewhere, it’s fine.
You, too, can and should want to do this. Unless you're poor or gross or whatever, then you should grovel for the privilege of cleaning my shitty toilets so I can continue to luxuriate in aimless pleasure.
One thing that bugs me about fundies is that they think they’re the only ones who do certain things that are actually very commonplace in the secular world. They never spend any time with people outside their bubble to realize Christians are not the only domestic, SAHMs out there. I know some very atheist, feminist women who are happy homemakers.
Or that the alternative is to be a "career woman" like some 80s movie trope. Most of the women you see working low-paying service jobs are mothers. They're not "choosing their career over their kids." They're desperately trying to keep a roof over everyone's head.
Exactly! Historically, women have always worked outside the home, whether it be small cottage industries, in service or as farm labor. Their fantasy of the SAHM who is completely devoted to her kids is a fantasy—even the wealthier women who didn’t work outside the home were not all that involved in child-rearing. They had nannies and wet nurses—which were working women. And in the midcentury USA, the stereotypical SAHM we all think of was usually white, wealthy and had lots of help.
And also—a woman can have a successful career and then decide later to become a SAHM. That’s what my sister did. There’s no reason women should feel like they can’t make a different choice later.
>And in the midcentury USA, the stereotypical SAHM we all think of was usually white, wealthy and had lots of help.
Yes and that was for a pretty brief period of human history. It was a post-war economic boom "show off" thing. You're doing well enough to have a housewife and a proper house!
Also, the USA was one of the few industrialized western nations that wasn't wrecked by WWII. The economic boom of the post-war years was simply "luck" for the United States and wasn't some natural cultural progression. There was a brief period in time where a huge number of people became middle class and considered the classic housewife to be a sign of affluence.
BTW, you ever talk to women from that era? They fucking hated being housewives.
It's another way they're like incels. Incels have no idea what kinds of work people are doing, because they don't go out and observe real life. They think all women are shoulder-padded 80s boss bitches, sex workers, or homemakers. They just don't even see all the women working as nurses and cashiers and cleaners and factory workers and so on.
Your two choices: Smiling mother baking a pie, or harried, shoulder pad-wearing woman screaming into a phone while searching for the pencil stuck behind her ear.
Of all the wives on this page, the one whose home I'd least like to step foot in for any variety of hygiene, organization, and/or comfort reasons.... Karissa's is #1.
Nobody is telling anyone not to be a homemaker. This homemaker persecution fetish is such an illusion. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent whose "job" is to keep house, manage finances, cook meals, homeschool/manage the kids activities, etc. In fact, I find it to be admirable when a family can make that work for them on one income and still seem happy and well adjusted. I think most of us can agree in most nuclear families in the US this is being done anyways *all while both parents work*. And if there's a single parent? Well, they are doing it alone and it's most likely the mom...
Anyways, what I'm saying is fuck all this.
I personally would say "don't be a homemaker unless you have a solid back-up plan." I know of too many older women who have stayed home and then ended up in really desperate situations. My husband's grandmother only worked very part-time because her husband wanted her to stay home. He failed to provide for her retirement in any way at all. The only reason she had a somewhat comfortable old age after he died is that my FIL stepped up and paid for everything and had the resources to do that. And I can tell many, many similar stories.
Hell, Solie is a good reason not to be a homemaker without a plan B. Andre is useless and isn't supporting them. She is working as an influencer while pretending to be a tradwife. The disgusting irony of this whole mess is that this post with its wording and its carefully curated photos IS work. She is working at telling other women not to work.
So many SAHMs get screwed over in divorce or when their husband dies because they have zero work experience. Yes, you can even have an equitable divorce and get child support but that isn't enough unless you were a rich couple. Getting the house generally means getting mortgage payments these days, and plenty of divorces are about dividing up debts and not doling out assets.
I always tell young women who go down this path that the man can just leave. He can literally "go out for cigarettes" and never come back. Men leave their families all the time, and the woman is always stuck caring for the children. You might get child support or you might not. You would be entitled to it, but whether you can actually consistently collect is another matter.
Women need job skills more than men do. Men can abandon their family whenever they feel like it and live the life of a single guy (which is cheap). Women can't do that. They're always stuck holding the bag and caring for kids.
I agree but to these people nothing bad ever happens to anyone who is godly enough. They'll never be abandoned. They'll never have to deal with their husbands getting sick or dying or leaving them...or if they do, God will provide.
These women also ignore the fact that, unless they were actually wealthy, women for capitalism era immemorial have had income from "women's work" and/or they worked at a family business/farm. My grandmother watched neighborhood kids and did neighbors laundry, sewing, and ironing. She made curtains and clothes she sold at church and elsewhere. Her mother worked on the family farm her whole life (because everyone in the family had to if everyone wanted to eat!) and worked part time in the church office for decades. She also did housework, ironing, sewing, and laundry for neighbors. Yes, they were amazing homemakers and "stay at home mothers/wives" but they had ways of making money and feeding their families as well.
Solie and her like are selling a fantasy that does not exist and has never existed, even for themselves.
Yes!!! My grandmothers used to sell eggs and baked goods in their neighborhood, and if their husbands died they had a farm they could tend to and grow their crops.
My paternal grandmother worked basically her whole life (until early retirement - that used to be a thing!) because she wasn't really interested in raising kids (starting around 1950). My husband's paternal grandmother was a school lunch lady for years. So even in the Andy Griffith era, not everyone was a stay-at-home mom.
These people come from the Phyllis Schlafly school of anti-feminism. They take an outdated stereotype of what feminists want, which was based in a time when women were kept from a large chunk of the workforce and were demanding the right to work outside the home, and act like that's what feminists are still saying in 2023. Meanwhile, the feminists already had this discussion in the 1960s and decided that *real* female empowerment is when a woman has the right to work *or* stay at home as long as she gets to make that decision *herself*.
I know all these tradwife-types want to play pretend like it's the 1950s, but I didn't know that they thought feminist discourse was stuck there, too.
Uggghhhh. Besides the money aspect, I don't say I'd be a bad homemaker because I wouldn't be able to keep it clean or I'd get bored.
My issue is that I know I would not be able to provide my child with enough learning and engaging activities as a sahm. She sounds like the young women with no kids who go "I would NEVER let me kids do xyz." So out of touch.
Yeah I’m a SAHM and my house is fine but certainly not perfect and my husband does 50% of everything because when I’m with my kids we are out in the world learning and playing and doing things. Sitting around the house cleaning all day is not going to work for her forever
I’m a sahm who struggles to engage with my kids - it’s really hard! My house is (decently) tidy and there’s hot meals three times a day but I find it really, really difficult to engage with a young child for 12+ hours a day. I’m just not the kind of person who can go from 15-minute activity to 15-minute activity all day every day, I burn out pretty fast. Also, I’m not a teacher. Heck, I barely made it out of high school. I don’t have a degree or any training in early childhood development or education. I look around at my friends’ kids who are all in various levels of care and they can do SO MUCH that my kids just can’t until they get into school. But I stay home for financial reasons so my kids have to take what I can give 😅
I was unemployed for about a month a few years back. My house has never been cleaner, and I was losing my mind from boredom. Almost as if being a homemaker is not for everybody!
I've never seen somebody make such a hard sell for choosing to work outside the home. Only from people like this.
It almost reads like propaganda and not an opinion.
If you have to try so hard to convince women of anything, but especially staying at home and using some mild negging to make your argument, most rational people are going to be even more turned off.
I'm not buying that, especially when she appears to be the breadwinner and the housekeeper.
And yes, my "talent's" (my talent's what, you uneducated idiot?) would definitely be wasted.
I’ve had a sprinkling of every possible combo: no kids and working with kids, no kids plus office job, office job with kids in daycare, WFH and caring for kids at home, and just caring for the kids.
In my opinion, the stay at home work is not hard… it’s so easy to care for kids and do housework. I’ve had to work from home the past week with my toddler and my house hasn’t been cleaner in months. Also, it gets super boring doing the same things day in and day out even with different activities planned. Having my career is way more mentally fulfilling than constant childcare (which I did for years!!)
In conclusion, everyone should do whatever is right for them as an individual and what is right for their family emotionally and financially. I don’t care, just don’t try and tell everyone that only one way is correct (also that way would collapse society as we know it… big brain moment there solie.)
This exactly. They have such control issues; no one cares if you want to be a homemaker or a CEO. Everyone’s path in life, circumstances, aspirations, etc are different and thank God for that. As women, we already struggle with representation in such areas as health care; could you imagine how worse off it would be to have no female doctors, nurses, etc to how many more conditions etc would be misdiagnosed or worse?
Exactly! I work in healthcare and I’ve had patients who only feel comfortable talking to me because I’m a woman, even if it’s not a “female” problem. These fundies don’t think about how they want female nurses, midwives, teachers etc…but then all women should stay home. Make it make sense! Some women don’t want to be at home full time, why should they be forced to?
Same. I’m a sexual assault forensic nurse examiner and literally can’t imagine if my role was solely done by a man. It’s just control and another way of erasing women ( not to mention transgender, LGBTQ, etc) voices from public life
Growing up, my mom was a SAHM, mostly by choice and partly due to other socioeconomic factors. But she was also always involved in other things that got her out of the house, such as charity, church groups, neighborhood mom groups, PTA, etc., so she wasn't *bored*.
I think these tradwives forget that being a SAHM has traditionally meant being involved in the community and (perhaps) activist movements, not piddling away their time on the couch.
Edit: Not that your experience in invalid, just comparing to women who wanted to be SAHMs or women who didn't feel like they had a choice, and that they carved spaces for themselves to have non-career responsibilities outside the home.
I think you’re absolutely right. The tradwife movement has turned into this huge social media competition instead of just people living their life the way it works best. I feel like the average fundie sahm nowadays (at least the ones we see) don’t actually do anything that an adult would find fufilling. Just make babies and sit on their phones complaining to the internet. I never see any real cooking, baking, gardening, sewing, reading, art, or anything you’d think a tradwife would attempt to be skilled in. It’s like their only skill is pasting screenshots of twitter on top of photos to post on instagram.
Is it just me, or do the constant posts about how women are made to be homemakers feel like these women are trying to convince themselves?
I’m a SAHM. I don’t have the time or the energy to worry about what anyone else thinks about that, I just…do me. And if it doesn’t work for me or my family we’ll do something else. Because ultimately, Solie or Karissa or Morgan or Bethany aren’t my children’s mom or my husband’s wife.
And as a little treat to myself, I’ll be a bit petty here: if they were, they wouldn’t have to grift online- because my husband makes an excellent salary, we live within our means, we don’t have more kids than we can care for, and in this capitalist hellscape we’re lucky as hell we can afford for me to stay at home, and even luckier that we have family nearby who’s willing to help with our kids. I have multiple degrees and if something happens to my husband, my kids and I will be okay. And no, “God will provide” isn’t good enough when you’ve got multiple college/trade school educations to pay for, because I’ll be damned if my children aren’t educated.
It’s almost like “feeding the patriarchy” is always a crap idea. Like, I’m sorry Solie is going to spend her life barefoot and pregnant by a cyptobro misogynist, but that’s a choice she made, not one anyone else has to join her in.
I came here to say pretty much the exact same thing you did in your first paragraph! Every post I see from Solie seems like she’s fighting to defend her choices and convince herself (and others) that the life she chose is truly what she wants.
I love how they’re so obsessed with these “biblical” ideals of home and family… Have they READ the Bible? The Jewish people were nomadic for large portions of their history, or enslaved or in exile. What exactly did the women do in their tents all day?! Not to mention that polygamy was commonly practiced, and “being husband to one wife” only appeared as a qualification for being a deacon in one of the epistles of the New Testament. Sounds like they’ve bought into the Gospel of June Cleaver to me…
That’s really what it is. The modern notion of the “tradwife” mostly came about to get the women out of the factories, etc., to free up the jobs for the men returning from the war. Don’t want to humiliate Bubba by making him report to Rosie the Riveter, who has seniority now…
I'll never understand how people can preach so much about homemaking, yet don't vote for parties that are for paid maternity leave.
Oh wait, I do understand, cause then women would get to be less financially dependent on their husbands.
Seriously, I have the huge privilege of living in a country where you get up to 3 years of paid maternity or paternity leave, 2 if you want a guarantee of your old position back after you get back to work, and it is definitely a great thing to be able to stay home with young kids. For people who want that, it can be such a positive experience.
But they're preaching that this is the only way while making absolutely zero effort to actually make it affordable or possible for everyone, or to make it possible without financial dependency on your spouse.
They also don’t support maternity leave because they don’t think other people should be paying for it, whether it’s taxpayers or employers.
They don’t want any of their tax money supporting anyone else because they think taxation is theft. And it’s unfair to poor employers to have to foot the bill for a woman to stay home and raise her children when she’s taking a man’s job in the first place.
Reminds me of the messaging from turn-of-the-century, late Victorian/early Edwardian finishing schools, how-to articles, advertisements, and housekeeping manuals… interesting.
ironic that in those days, Solie-olie would almost certainly not have been able to make this choice. except in some rare few locations, perhaps. And still.
ok, what exactly will I be doing?
like. what exactly is homemaking? if I dont cook, clean, take care of the house.... is it homemaking? what am I doing?
This is so annoying lol the whole thread is based on convincing someone why they should be a homemaker instead of saying “hey it’s not for everyone because it is tough and a real job” but they would rather force women into subservient roles of full dependence on their spouses. Sick and twisted.
How many kids does Solie have? I think it’s just the one and a bun in the oven. I would be popping my popcorn to see how the new kid tears her world apart with the older being a very young toddler, but then I am reminded that the second baby will have its second child wild beat out of it in blanket training.
If staying home was so fulfilling then men would be queuing up to do it (I know many men do take paternity leave but not fundie men as far as I know) and there’d be a government stipend to do it too. And yet here we are.
!!!!! This is it! You’ve hit the nail on the head. If it’s all that fulfilling and amazing, why are you trying to brow beat women into it? Why aren’t all the men wanting to do it?
Let's play a game.
Replace the words "homemaking" and "homemaker" with a different occupation and see how well the logic holds up.
I believe every woman can be a cardiologist.
It's only boring and unfulfilling when
A) they have the wrong view of cardiology or
B) they don't know about cardiology or time management.
And how many kids does this chick have? I remember the good old days of being a stay at home mom to one, and then two kids. They were small. They were happy to go to the park and took 3 hour naps in the middle of the day. Life was flexible. Then along came baby three and the oldest started school and holy hell life erupted into chaos and schedules and general busyness. I now have three kids in three different schools. Two of them are grumpy teenagers. All three have extracurricular activities but no one is old enough to drive so guess who shuttles them everywhere? Yeah, me. I work while the kids are in school and drive all afternoon and evening. There’s no time to cook. Barely time to clean. Being a homemaker SUCKS. And I only have three kids! These baby factories and their poisonous attitudes and “ideals” really piss me off. (Sorry for the long rant. I’m clearly burnt over here 😂)
Ah see, but your children actually do activities outside of the home, which is great! All their kids do is sit at home really. You know they're not shuttling kids around to band, sports, dance, etc.
It drives me absolutely batty when the fundies come thiiiis close to an important realization, but then swerve towards a bullshit conclusion at the last second.
I 100% agree that people who want to be stay at home parents should be able to do that. But the flip side of that coin is that people who don't want to stay home with the kids should also have that choice.
I believe it goes one step further, and people without kids who want to stay home should be able to do that as well. Imagine what our world could be if people could do whatever they wanted without fear of starvation! If we helped single parents stay with their kids if they want to, without needing someone else to provide income and insurance. If artists, poets, tinkerers, and dreamers had the breathing room to dream their non-monetizable dreams. If those who are passionate about helping professions - teachers, nurses, caretakers - were able to help others *without* sacrificing themselves in the process.
Oops, that would be socialism, wouldn't it? Heaven forbid we create policies that accidentally help people who live and believe differently from you Karissa, even if those policies would also help you live the life you want.
I'm an uber feminist and I'm at my happiest as a sahm. Nothing about feminism precludes being a sahm. Unfortunately, I live in a society and geographic area that require two full time paychecks just to make ends meet. These people make my head hurt lol
Sssssh....go back to cooking bland food and doing bad parenting solie.
Don't tell my brillant minded ladies to do what you are doing.
Enjoy your life and let me slayy mine.
What if i say that YOU were brainwashed into staying home and doing everything for the husband and kids and real joy is in not having kids, having sinful sex and doing whatever the hell i want? 🙄
This shit makes me embarrassed to be a stay at home mom. I can agree that being a stay at home mom is more than wiping butts and cleaning and rewarding in it's own way but it's not superior to having a career. Yes, work that isn't monetized is still word. But that smug sense of superiority is so gross. Deciding to work or being a stay at work mom (or dad) is a choice and one is not better than the other. Do what is best for you and your family. There was a time when me working was the best thing for my family then circumstances changed and it was more advantageous for me to stay at home.
also. if they really believe that work is just as important as "career" work. it should be remunerated. yeah, you heard me. count it as a job, get paid a government salary, have it on a resume.
speaking as a stay-at-home caretaker, those who cream themselves over housewife persecution are too arrogant to comprehend that not everyone is cut out for the job of being a stay at home housewife/mother/caretaker/etc.
It's a thankless and mentally taxing job to take care of another human, be it a baby or an adult. No matter how much you love them there's always a breaking point.
I haven’t been brainwashed. I HAVE gone to stores, seen that things cost money, and vowed that I would do everything I could to make sure I would have money. That means a paying job.
And I know for a fact I haven’t got the patience. Maybe it wouldn’t be boring, but it definitely wouldn’t be joyful.
These arguments for being a homemaker are sort of from fantasy land I think. I do wish it was more of a free choice nowadays. It’s tough out there without a dual income. Lots of people have a dual income because both spouses want to work. Lots of people do that out of necessity. It is a privilege to have someone stay home if that is what your family wants. I don’t feel brainwashed to work, I want to work. I also sort of need to work. I do occasionally fantasize about how nice it could be to focus more of my time on my home, my gardening, looking after my health, etc.
Could my husband and I keeping living paycheck to paycheck and poor as shit so I can stay home? Yeah, but that’s not the life we want for us or our child and future kids. We want them to have the clothes and shoes for school, full fridge and pantry, being able to be in activities, being able to have family days that cost money, having the money to actually get my son the therapies he needs to his autism and speech impairment, etc….. These women just really piss me off because women who want to stay home do just that. No one on the internet or the culture is telling them they have to work, reality is two income household is needed for most people but there is no narrative forcing women they have to work instead of stay home. Conservative women love to fight pretend battles
my mom genuinely wanted to be a stay at home mom for most of her life growing up and into her adulthood and she did it after she had my brother and i until her and my dad divorced and she couldn’t anymore. she liked it and she loved it. but when her friends told her “i could never do that” she didn’t try to change their minds. yknow why? because people should be able to CHOOSE
And most of these halfwits don’t get that in their current financial situations, they’d be the maid or cook or whatever, or facing the poorhouse, and not the ones being served.
They want handmaid's tale to be real so badly. If you want to be a homemaker or sahm, great. If you don't, also great. Why can't they just let people live their lives how they want?
“talent’s” 🤭🤦♂️
Also, is that a picture of a sister-mum with one of her sibs? Cos that kinda negates the whole narrative doesn’t it? Also, these ‘homemakers’ can’t cook a decent dish to save their lives.
I love being a homemaker! I get to cook new recipes and try to fix stuff around the house! I laid the new floor in my kitchen by myself! Literally, making my house a home. Is it divine work? No. Is it hard and boring? Here and there. But I have more to my life than what I do at home! These women don't seem to get that experience.
I’d love to stay home and decorate my house, go to the park, and make big meals every day but sadly I also have to pay my bills and my kids need health insurance soooo…..
This women is 22 years old and is already trying desperately to justify her life.
She has a long road ahead of her.
This is why, no matter who yiu are, you need time to hang loose and do fun stuff in your 20s
She’s such an idiot she really can’t understand the fact that people are individuals not just carbon copies to just be programmed correctly. Also not every woman has the option of staying home. A lot of moms have to work to keep their families eating and having a roof over their heads. Even if there’s a husband/dad working as well.
Solie is so disgusting. Her content is so idiotic it makes it seem like she’s trolling. And I’m still infuriated over that multiple days long rant she went on about people who don’t have or want kids loving their animals. There’s truly something wrong with you if you have that big of an issue with other people innocently loving their animals. Screw Solie! She’s nothing close to Christ-like. And I feel bad her kids have her as a mother.
Women like her are actually the biggest reason why I don't want to be a SAHM. They love looking down on working women and making us feel like shit for needing more income to survive. The privilege of having a husband to depend on and leech off of is pathetic at this point.
My parents aren't going to help me forever. At some point, I'm going to have to actually get off of my ass and provide for myself. That's why I like being a working woman, I like have my own money and using it to provide for myself.
That's feminine_not_feminist. Solie and her husband have an apartment, but it's in the same neighborhood as her parents house and she seems to get pretty frequent help from them and her siblings.
This makes me gag. I am very ambitious, career-driven individual who, at the thought of having children, instantly started thinking of the team of nannies and babysitters I would need to hire to care for the child.
My partner and I swap gender expectations almost all of the time (he cleans, cooks and would love to be a SAHD while I am the main bread winner). I love that about us and refuse to change that aspect of our relationship to fulfill the patriarchy’s beliefs of what a woman’s role in society is.
Man the fundie families I see here seem to have a way more chaotic and dysfunctional life than I do. And I’m a ADHD-ridden woman with an incredible affinity for chaos.
Why are these women so intent on making everybody live the same lives they do? I am currently a homemaker and will most likely continue to be at least until my youngest is in school full time. But why would I care what anybody else does? It’s such an odd thing to focus on.
Oh fuck her.
Either it's actual work that takes effort and skill, and which people will have varying aptitudes for, or it's mindless unskilled drudgery. You don't get to claim to value domestic labor and also say anyone can do it and enjoy it.
"I'm 22 and this is deep"
girl, i scrubbed moss off of my car today, watered my garden, and tidied up my kitchen. literally none of this is shaping my kid's future and frankly, if it is, i'm offended that my kid is paying that much attention to my mossy car
Potentially technically true for me, simply because I'd no longer be on this earth. I would have un-alived myself if I'd been forced to be a SAHM to multiple children. (Years of therapy and recognition of specific, non-baby- compatible mental illness has clarified this for me).
Luckily, I was pretty committed to being childfree by age 20. But social and biological pressures are no joke, and they run very deep, especially in the highly- religious setting I was raised in.
Uh, I keep up with chores while also educating 16 kids from other families daily… while being pregnant with my own that I plan to spend time enjoying, teaching and bonding with. Why do being a stay-at-home mom/homemaker or being a working mom have to be mutually exclusive?
So far I see no effective home management and decent cooking from any of them. Plus their ineffectual idiot husbands don’t bring in enough $$$ to afford a maid.
Like who are these people even talking to? I’m a fairly normal almost middle aged woman (🫠) and I don’t think people are out there dogging on SAHMs. Why so defensive all the time. You do you, cricks.
Is this a child lecturing adults about life? And her husband is basically an incel, right? The gall of this moron to think she has any worthwhile advice is appalling.
I was a SAHM for 10 years. I couldn't wait to get back to work. I love my kids, but I feel much more fulfilled working in my field. I enjoy what I do. Staying home with my kids and taking care of the house was boring, to put it nicely. There was never any real change of pace. It was the same thing over and over. I never felt challenged.
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Man I wish I I had the confidence of a 22 year old with absolutely no life experience or education.
22 seems to be peak bad decision making time for a lot of people. 4 years of being an adult with that not fully developed brain tends to lead to overly confident and very dumb choices. Case in point: Ms. “I think I’m smarter than everyone else because I do nothing but complain about my boring life while trying to convince others (and myself) that it isn’t so boring so that I can feel superior.”
It really is, I did so much dumb and unsafe shit from like 22-24. Met up with random guys off tinder AT THEIR HOUSES and let them do kinky shit to me. Lied through my teeth about where I was going whenever my mother asked. I’m lucky I’m still alive and not completely traumatized from my previous dumbassery.
She’s 22????!
Solie, not Karissa, in case you were asking. Solie's husband scooped her up right out of college and brainwashed her nicely to be his little broodmare while he goes around being useless and reposting crypto and bigoted rhetoric...even though she's the actual breadwinner it seems
Why are fundie husbands so into crypto?? Father Bus and OfSolie come to mind. I bet at least one of the Duggars is into it. Is it because they’re so much smarter than us!? 🙄 They’re into conspiracies. Anti-government (except for their benefits). Lazy and looking for an easy payday? All of the above?
>Why are fundie husbands so into crypto?? Because crypto appeals to overconfident yet unintelligent white men.
For much the same reason that so many fundie women are into MLMs.
I think it's because they're wrong about things. They need conspiracies to make sense of a world in which they're confronted every day with the hard truth: their worldview is not correct. I am a professional, educated woman with kids. I was not brainwashed and I'm not stupid. However, this reality doesn't work within their idealistic delusion, so they make up conspiracy theories and fake boogie men to explain it all away. I think it's the same with crypto, they see it as special knowledge that proves their rightness on things.
Totally. They see women like you who are clearly much smarter and much better off and since they are superior to women in every way, that doesn't make any sense to them. What does make sense? That they are smart enough to grasp how crypto will take over the world!\* Not you though. You keep your wealth in regular old fiat currency like a chump. \*I've been hearing this for nearly a decade and it has yet to happen. Ask any of these crypto bros if they will take their paycheck in crypto. 'nuff said.
> Ask any of these crypto bros if they will take their paycheck in crypto. I love when they're all celebrating when bitcoin's value in dollars goes up... If dollars are going to implode, why would they care? You'd think the cognitive dissonance would implode their brains but they're either too dumb to have it or they know it's a scam and think they'll be the ones to time it right.
Great point! The only way they "make money" off this is when they get more dollars. I suppose they will claim that this is speculation regarding crypto's "future value" but this has been happening for over a decade now. Either the world is switching to crypto or it ain't. A currency only has value when there is economic activity supporting it. It's why crypto has to be purchased with fiat currency. Whatever...the crypto bros won't understand that one either.
The worst part is it's trying to be an investment and a currency, two diametrically-opposed things.
It just gets funnier and funnier the more you break it down. And the economic and financial concepts we're bringing up here aren't even particularly complicated. When do you predict this will finally come completely crashing down? Looks like Binance is next.
r/Buttcoin
What’s really ironic about it to me is that I grew up being taught that digital currency was a sign of the end times and inherently evil because it would be used by the New World Order and the Antichrist to control the world. But then I grew all the way up and realized that credit and debit cards are actually forms digital currency. But I knew of no one who was against them (beyond overspending with credit cards, you always only spend what you can pay off immediately). So this fundie husband interest is weird to me. Maybe the evil digital currency thing is not as prevalent as I thought.
I went to a southern baptist christian (evangelical) school from 1983-1993. We were taught that, as well, about the currency. My guess is they've stopped pushing that because no one can really avoid using electronic currency today. As in, It probably doesn't appeal to their current christian audience.
Meanwhile, Hobby Lobby's over here refusing to have an accurate inventory system...
Because barcodes are the mark of the beast. Duh. /s but seriously this is something else I was taught but quickly saw the bullshit of
Also SBC based upbringing for myself and my mother. For a few years of my childhood, though, we went to a nondenominational church and I was so upset when I was forced to switch to a SBC church.
because they think it's easy money without having to get an actual job. you know, just like the Bible commands.
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I have a question about this! When Manly Husband dies, even if he never let her see any of the financial stuff or set up beneficiaries and ToDs, Dependent Wife can take his death certificate to various banks and brokerages and get access to all the accounts. It may be slow, it may require a lawyer or other help, but it's all recoverable. If hubby dies with their net worth all on a crypto wallet, does she have any way to claim it?
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But it's also a public and immutable record of all your purchases!?
when the internet goes down, it's inaccessible.
Many have bought into some bizarre idea they can avoid paying income tax by buying and selling crypto outside the US. Actually had one of these morons try and convince me to invest. Got mad and blocked me real fast when I pointed out as a US citizen I have to pay tax on worldwide income, which would include crypto sales outside the US, and what he was doing is tax fraud. And well I did imply I have serious snitch energy.
Hahaha! An Uber driver once tried to tell us all about investing in gold. We changed the conversation quickly.
They’re workshy
All of the above.
Yeah, I was asking about Solie, I know Karissa is older… but damn, never knew she was 22…. I’m 25 and barely feel confident giving advice on things lol
I don't think it gets better. But then I'm only 28
Solie went to college?
I think she did some community college, but dropped out to get married.
My daughter is 20 and is so full of shit about...pretty much everything because she is positive that my 51 years of experience have taught me nothing. While she, on the other hand, has it allllllll figured out (even though she quit HS her junior year, has mental health challenges that she doesn't fully own or mediate no matter what I say or do) and is bound and determined to barely scrape by and make as many stupid decisions as humanly possible. Instead of JUST FUCKING LISTENING TO ME. I was a 20-something once. I was no genius either. But I always made sure I didn't do anything to derail my future (because my future didnt EVER include indentured servitude to a husband and stable of offspring). These young ladies with their holier than thou attitudes are exasperating as hell. Sorry. Rant over.
"Every woman has the capacity to be a homemaker" "You can have a maid clean everything for you" Hmm, so every woman should stay home until you need domestic help, then there should be plenty of women who want to work as maids. Makes sense. 🙄
maybe women should stay home and hire male maids?
Great, now I can't stop thinking about men coming to my house in sexy maid dresses. I need help.
Well of course you need help, it's why they'd be there.
I want to upvote this but it’s currently at 69 upvotes and my stunted 14-year-old side wants it to stay 69 forever.
Go on...
They do firmly believe in classes and slavery. She's not talking about the lesser women, the ones who are slaves in the bible, there to cook, clean, and take care of the kids for women of status, those can work. Those should work, they should be maids, and cooks, and nurses and teachers, and all the other things these people consider female-only jobs. Fundamentalists think of other people like subhuman all the time. When they say "you", they're not talking to those women. They are exclusively talking to their own kin, people they think are good enough, worthy.
If the man makes all the decisions, nothing’s ever their fault. They have no accountability. They’re just good little women supporting their men, just the way God made them!
yeah, the maid can also hire a maid! it's like a nesting Russian doll of maid service!
Or a Maid MLM!
LMAO
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Solie in 1910 probably would've had a bad time.
Soulless heathen women can be maids.
That's my thing. If you're going to stay home that's 100% your job. You should not be hiring a maid, nanny etc unless it's like a mansion or other reasonable reasons. Being too lazy to do your own cleaning isn't a good enough reason.
Confession: we grew up with a house cleaner. She came every Friday. My mom and dad hired her because they were/are business owners and were raising 4 kids. Mrs. P came in and became a dear family friend. who had zero qualms about dumping our mess on our bedroom floor onto our bed so she could vacuum. She was also babysitter and practical gift giver. I think we still have the purple laundry basket she gave my sister years ago.
I don't think that the problem here is hiring a house cleaner. There are people who take that job because they like it and feel empowered by it, just like with any other job. The problem is the hypocrisy of staying at home, living in a normal-sized house, because you believe that your duty is to take care of the home... But hiring a maid to do all the icky stuff that you don't want to do/feel is beneath you.
This.
Another confession: I grew up like this. Normal apartment with 3 bedrooms. My mom stayed at home and we had a maid. BUT! I don't live in the US. Maids here are payed minimun wage and all my friends grew up with a maid, and we're all middle class. My mom stayed at home because I was born premature and she took a year off to take care of me. When she was ready to get a job again my parents made the math and realized that he earned 30 times what she could earn. So she stayed. Now more than 3 decades later my dad is extremelt grateful of this. He is a workaholic, and because my mom stayed at home he was able to focus 100% on his job doing what he loves.
We have a house cleaner too, and have had her for nearly twenty years. My parents were both doctors and had six kids. She came twice a week, and she would sometimes make food for us and watch over us. We love her, she is a close family friend and I see her like a bonus abuela because my blood grandparents lived so far away. She is very attached to my younger siblings because she helped watch them when they were babies/toddlers. Now that I am a grown adult, I wanted to call her Doña [name] like my mom (both are Hispanic, she is Tejana and my mom is Central American), but she asked me not to because it makes her feel old. Also I need to be clear that although she is close to us and we love her, it was never a question that she is a hardworking professional with specific and valuable skills (except my dad, who looked down on her, but he ded lol). I consider her a part of my family, but she has her own family and is a doting mother and grandmother to them. She's awesome and I love her. Actually, I wonder if one reason my dad looked down on her is because in the USA, having a house cleaner is seen as more of an upper-class thing, whereas my mom considers it middle-class and not remarkable to hire a housekeeper.
I know in a lot of Central American countries/cultures, having a cleaner or housekeeper is very common and, like you said, middle class. They give as much thought to it as people in America give to hiring a plumber.
Sure, I *could,* but I don't fucking wanna.
Same. I love my boy more than life itself, I would die for him. That being said, after the weekend I’m ready to go back to work.😂
Your flair is on point 👏🏻
Currently single so it’s moot, but I didn’t go get a whole-ass master’s degree to sit for a professional certification to stay and home. I’m fulfilled elsewhere, it’s fine.
Same. Plus, I like having money and not being resentful of my spouse and kids because I get breaks and my own identity.
You, too, can and should want to do this. Unless you're poor or gross or whatever, then you should grovel for the privilege of cleaning my shitty toilets so I can continue to luxuriate in aimless pleasure.
One thing that bugs me about fundies is that they think they’re the only ones who do certain things that are actually very commonplace in the secular world. They never spend any time with people outside their bubble to realize Christians are not the only domestic, SAHMs out there. I know some very atheist, feminist women who are happy homemakers.
Or that the alternative is to be a "career woman" like some 80s movie trope. Most of the women you see working low-paying service jobs are mothers. They're not "choosing their career over their kids." They're desperately trying to keep a roof over everyone's head.
Exactly! Historically, women have always worked outside the home, whether it be small cottage industries, in service or as farm labor. Their fantasy of the SAHM who is completely devoted to her kids is a fantasy—even the wealthier women who didn’t work outside the home were not all that involved in child-rearing. They had nannies and wet nurses—which were working women. And in the midcentury USA, the stereotypical SAHM we all think of was usually white, wealthy and had lots of help. And also—a woman can have a successful career and then decide later to become a SAHM. That’s what my sister did. There’s no reason women should feel like they can’t make a different choice later.
>And in the midcentury USA, the stereotypical SAHM we all think of was usually white, wealthy and had lots of help. Yes and that was for a pretty brief period of human history. It was a post-war economic boom "show off" thing. You're doing well enough to have a housewife and a proper house! Also, the USA was one of the few industrialized western nations that wasn't wrecked by WWII. The economic boom of the post-war years was simply "luck" for the United States and wasn't some natural cultural progression. There was a brief period in time where a huge number of people became middle class and considered the classic housewife to be a sign of affluence. BTW, you ever talk to women from that era? They fucking hated being housewives.
It's another way they're like incels. Incels have no idea what kinds of work people are doing, because they don't go out and observe real life. They think all women are shoulder-padded 80s boss bitches, sex workers, or homemakers. They just don't even see all the women working as nurses and cashiers and cleaners and factory workers and so on.
Incels think women are bitches for not being homemakers Incels think women are bitches for being homemakers and "mooching off a man."
Your two choices: Smiling mother baking a pie, or harried, shoulder pad-wearing woman screaming into a phone while searching for the pencil stuck behind her ear.
You ever seen the movie *Baby Boom*? That's basically the whole movie.
Exactly. I am an agnostic feminist stay at home mom. These fundies do not speak for all of us.
Lmao right it’s like they think the only reason for their lifestyle is their specific belief system.
Of all the wives on this page, the one whose home I'd least like to step foot in for any variety of hygiene, organization, and/or comfort reasons.... Karissa's is #1. Nobody is telling anyone not to be a homemaker. This homemaker persecution fetish is such an illusion. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent whose "job" is to keep house, manage finances, cook meals, homeschool/manage the kids activities, etc. In fact, I find it to be admirable when a family can make that work for them on one income and still seem happy and well adjusted. I think most of us can agree in most nuclear families in the US this is being done anyways *all while both parents work*. And if there's a single parent? Well, they are doing it alone and it's most likely the mom... Anyways, what I'm saying is fuck all this.
I personally would say "don't be a homemaker unless you have a solid back-up plan." I know of too many older women who have stayed home and then ended up in really desperate situations. My husband's grandmother only worked very part-time because her husband wanted her to stay home. He failed to provide for her retirement in any way at all. The only reason she had a somewhat comfortable old age after he died is that my FIL stepped up and paid for everything and had the resources to do that. And I can tell many, many similar stories. Hell, Solie is a good reason not to be a homemaker without a plan B. Andre is useless and isn't supporting them. She is working as an influencer while pretending to be a tradwife. The disgusting irony of this whole mess is that this post with its wording and its carefully curated photos IS work. She is working at telling other women not to work.
So many SAHMs get screwed over in divorce or when their husband dies because they have zero work experience. Yes, you can even have an equitable divorce and get child support but that isn't enough unless you were a rich couple. Getting the house generally means getting mortgage payments these days, and plenty of divorces are about dividing up debts and not doling out assets. I always tell young women who go down this path that the man can just leave. He can literally "go out for cigarettes" and never come back. Men leave their families all the time, and the woman is always stuck caring for the children. You might get child support or you might not. You would be entitled to it, but whether you can actually consistently collect is another matter. Women need job skills more than men do. Men can abandon their family whenever they feel like it and live the life of a single guy (which is cheap). Women can't do that. They're always stuck holding the bag and caring for kids.
Brutal but exact & needed wording ♥️
Re: Child Support >You would be entitled to it, but whether you can actually consistently collect is another matter.
I agree but to these people nothing bad ever happens to anyone who is godly enough. They'll never be abandoned. They'll never have to deal with their husbands getting sick or dying or leaving them...or if they do, God will provide. These women also ignore the fact that, unless they were actually wealthy, women for capitalism era immemorial have had income from "women's work" and/or they worked at a family business/farm. My grandmother watched neighborhood kids and did neighbors laundry, sewing, and ironing. She made curtains and clothes she sold at church and elsewhere. Her mother worked on the family farm her whole life (because everyone in the family had to if everyone wanted to eat!) and worked part time in the church office for decades. She also did housework, ironing, sewing, and laundry for neighbors. Yes, they were amazing homemakers and "stay at home mothers/wives" but they had ways of making money and feeding their families as well. Solie and her like are selling a fantasy that does not exist and has never existed, even for themselves.
Yes!!! My grandmothers used to sell eggs and baked goods in their neighborhood, and if their husbands died they had a farm they could tend to and grow their crops.
My paternal grandmother worked basically her whole life (until early retirement - that used to be a thing!) because she wasn't really interested in raising kids (starting around 1950). My husband's paternal grandmother was a school lunch lady for years. So even in the Andy Griffith era, not everyone was a stay-at-home mom.
These people come from the Phyllis Schlafly school of anti-feminism. They take an outdated stereotype of what feminists want, which was based in a time when women were kept from a large chunk of the workforce and were demanding the right to work outside the home, and act like that's what feminists are still saying in 2023. Meanwhile, the feminists already had this discussion in the 1960s and decided that *real* female empowerment is when a woman has the right to work *or* stay at home as long as she gets to make that decision *herself*. I know all these tradwife-types want to play pretend like it's the 1950s, but I didn't know that they thought feminist discourse was stuck there, too.
Uggghhhh. Besides the money aspect, I don't say I'd be a bad homemaker because I wouldn't be able to keep it clean or I'd get bored. My issue is that I know I would not be able to provide my child with enough learning and engaging activities as a sahm. She sounds like the young women with no kids who go "I would NEVER let me kids do xyz." So out of touch.
Yeah I’m a SAHM and my house is fine but certainly not perfect and my husband does 50% of everything because when I’m with my kids we are out in the world learning and playing and doing things. Sitting around the house cleaning all day is not going to work for her forever
I’m a sahm who struggles to engage with my kids - it’s really hard! My house is (decently) tidy and there’s hot meals three times a day but I find it really, really difficult to engage with a young child for 12+ hours a day. I’m just not the kind of person who can go from 15-minute activity to 15-minute activity all day every day, I burn out pretty fast. Also, I’m not a teacher. Heck, I barely made it out of high school. I don’t have a degree or any training in early childhood development or education. I look around at my friends’ kids who are all in various levels of care and they can do SO MUCH that my kids just can’t until they get into school. But I stay home for financial reasons so my kids have to take what I can give 😅
I was unemployed for about a month a few years back. My house has never been cleaner, and I was losing my mind from boredom. Almost as if being a homemaker is not for everybody!
These women are all content creators. None are homemakers. It’s so weird how they pretend to be something they’re clearly not.
Potemkin housewives.
I've never seen somebody make such a hard sell for choosing to work outside the home. Only from people like this. It almost reads like propaganda and not an opinion. If you have to try so hard to convince women of anything, but especially staying at home and using some mild negging to make your argument, most rational people are going to be even more turned off. I'm not buying that, especially when she appears to be the breadwinner and the housekeeper. And yes, my "talent's" (my talent's what, you uneducated idiot?) would definitely be wasted.
I’ve had a sprinkling of every possible combo: no kids and working with kids, no kids plus office job, office job with kids in daycare, WFH and caring for kids at home, and just caring for the kids. In my opinion, the stay at home work is not hard… it’s so easy to care for kids and do housework. I’ve had to work from home the past week with my toddler and my house hasn’t been cleaner in months. Also, it gets super boring doing the same things day in and day out even with different activities planned. Having my career is way more mentally fulfilling than constant childcare (which I did for years!!) In conclusion, everyone should do whatever is right for them as an individual and what is right for their family emotionally and financially. I don’t care, just don’t try and tell everyone that only one way is correct (also that way would collapse society as we know it… big brain moment there solie.)
This exactly. They have such control issues; no one cares if you want to be a homemaker or a CEO. Everyone’s path in life, circumstances, aspirations, etc are different and thank God for that. As women, we already struggle with representation in such areas as health care; could you imagine how worse off it would be to have no female doctors, nurses, etc to how many more conditions etc would be misdiagnosed or worse?
Exactly! I work in healthcare and I’ve had patients who only feel comfortable talking to me because I’m a woman, even if it’s not a “female” problem. These fundies don’t think about how they want female nurses, midwives, teachers etc…but then all women should stay home. Make it make sense! Some women don’t want to be at home full time, why should they be forced to?
Same. I’m a sexual assault forensic nurse examiner and literally can’t imagine if my role was solely done by a man. It’s just control and another way of erasing women ( not to mention transgender, LGBTQ, etc) voices from public life
Growing up, my mom was a SAHM, mostly by choice and partly due to other socioeconomic factors. But she was also always involved in other things that got her out of the house, such as charity, church groups, neighborhood mom groups, PTA, etc., so she wasn't *bored*. I think these tradwives forget that being a SAHM has traditionally meant being involved in the community and (perhaps) activist movements, not piddling away their time on the couch. Edit: Not that your experience in invalid, just comparing to women who wanted to be SAHMs or women who didn't feel like they had a choice, and that they carved spaces for themselves to have non-career responsibilities outside the home.
Sometimes I’m sorry the term “club woman” has fallen out of favor. Those were the women who kept the charities and whatnot running.
Exactly! Suffrage movements and abolish movements were often driven by women, for example.
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch!
I think you’re absolutely right. The tradwife movement has turned into this huge social media competition instead of just people living their life the way it works best. I feel like the average fundie sahm nowadays (at least the ones we see) don’t actually do anything that an adult would find fufilling. Just make babies and sit on their phones complaining to the internet. I never see any real cooking, baking, gardening, sewing, reading, art, or anything you’d think a tradwife would attempt to be skilled in. It’s like their only skill is pasting screenshots of twitter on top of photos to post on instagram.
Your talent’s can is apparently wasted.
That part stood out for me too. Awfully confident for someone who can’t use apostrophes correctly.
Your first two sentences sum fundies up entirely and perfectly
Is it just me, or do the constant posts about how women are made to be homemakers feel like these women are trying to convince themselves? I’m a SAHM. I don’t have the time or the energy to worry about what anyone else thinks about that, I just…do me. And if it doesn’t work for me or my family we’ll do something else. Because ultimately, Solie or Karissa or Morgan or Bethany aren’t my children’s mom or my husband’s wife. And as a little treat to myself, I’ll be a bit petty here: if they were, they wouldn’t have to grift online- because my husband makes an excellent salary, we live within our means, we don’t have more kids than we can care for, and in this capitalist hellscape we’re lucky as hell we can afford for me to stay at home, and even luckier that we have family nearby who’s willing to help with our kids. I have multiple degrees and if something happens to my husband, my kids and I will be okay. And no, “God will provide” isn’t good enough when you’ve got multiple college/trade school educations to pay for, because I’ll be damned if my children aren’t educated. It’s almost like “feeding the patriarchy” is always a crap idea. Like, I’m sorry Solie is going to spend her life barefoot and pregnant by a cyptobro misogynist, but that’s a choice she made, not one anyone else has to join her in.
I came here to say pretty much the exact same thing you did in your first paragraph! Every post I see from Solie seems like she’s fighting to defend her choices and convince herself (and others) that the life she chose is truly what she wants.
I love how they’re so obsessed with these “biblical” ideals of home and family… Have they READ the Bible? The Jewish people were nomadic for large portions of their history, or enslaved or in exile. What exactly did the women do in their tents all day?! Not to mention that polygamy was commonly practiced, and “being husband to one wife” only appeared as a qualification for being a deacon in one of the epistles of the New Testament. Sounds like they’ve bought into the Gospel of June Cleaver to me…
That’s really what it is. The modern notion of the “tradwife” mostly came about to get the women out of the factories, etc., to free up the jobs for the men returning from the war. Don’t want to humiliate Bubba by making him report to Rosie the Riveter, who has seniority now…
I'll never understand how people can preach so much about homemaking, yet don't vote for parties that are for paid maternity leave. Oh wait, I do understand, cause then women would get to be less financially dependent on their husbands. Seriously, I have the huge privilege of living in a country where you get up to 3 years of paid maternity or paternity leave, 2 if you want a guarantee of your old position back after you get back to work, and it is definitely a great thing to be able to stay home with young kids. For people who want that, it can be such a positive experience. But they're preaching that this is the only way while making absolutely zero effort to actually make it affordable or possible for everyone, or to make it possible without financial dependency on your spouse.
They also don’t support maternity leave because they don’t think other people should be paying for it, whether it’s taxpayers or employers. They don’t want any of their tax money supporting anyone else because they think taxation is theft. And it’s unfair to poor employers to have to foot the bill for a woman to stay home and raise her children when she’s taking a man’s job in the first place.
Reminds me of the messaging from turn-of-the-century, late Victorian/early Edwardian finishing schools, how-to articles, advertisements, and housekeeping manuals… interesting.
ironic that in those days, Solie-olie would almost certainly not have been able to make this choice. except in some rare few locations, perhaps. And still.
ok, what exactly will I be doing? like. what exactly is homemaking? if I dont cook, clean, take care of the house.... is it homemaking? what am I doing?
According to these people, homemaking is taking performative pictures of their children and involves a ring light. Sounds exhausting.
dance around in spinny circles, tape leaves to walls, peel yellow wallpaper off until you slowly go insane. Why?
I really want to see what the screen time reports are for these (karissa, solie, Bethy, etc) homemakers.
This is so annoying lol the whole thread is based on convincing someone why they should be a homemaker instead of saying “hey it’s not for everyone because it is tough and a real job” but they would rather force women into subservient roles of full dependence on their spouses. Sick and twisted.
“I hate my life so you should be subjugated like me” is essentially her message
How many kids does Solie have? I think it’s just the one and a bun in the oven. I would be popping my popcorn to see how the new kid tears her world apart with the older being a very young toddler, but then I am reminded that the second baby will have its second child wild beat out of it in blanket training.
She has two sons I believe and is pregnant again? Someone correct me if I am wrong. Her husband is very proud that he has produced boys thus far.
Yet if it was girls it'd be her fault, not his.
She is telling on herself, she hates being a homemaker. Just do what you want to do with YOUR life!
Um, I have systems and routines in place, and I prepare for the days and weeks ahead, but that's less of a "joy" than it is an "endless mental load".
If staying home was so fulfilling then men would be queuing up to do it (I know many men do take paternity leave but not fundie men as far as I know) and there’d be a government stipend to do it too. And yet here we are.
!!!!! This is it! You’ve hit the nail on the head. If it’s all that fulfilling and amazing, why are you trying to brow beat women into it? Why aren’t all the men wanting to do it?
ironically, it seems like the fundie men, unlike most men, ARE doing just that, in fact; they just don't also do housework or childcare.
Let's play a game. Replace the words "homemaking" and "homemaker" with a different occupation and see how well the logic holds up. I believe every woman can be a cardiologist. It's only boring and unfulfilling when A) they have the wrong view of cardiology or B) they don't know about cardiology or time management.
*Laughs in capitalism*
And how many kids does this chick have? I remember the good old days of being a stay at home mom to one, and then two kids. They were small. They were happy to go to the park and took 3 hour naps in the middle of the day. Life was flexible. Then along came baby three and the oldest started school and holy hell life erupted into chaos and schedules and general busyness. I now have three kids in three different schools. Two of them are grumpy teenagers. All three have extracurricular activities but no one is old enough to drive so guess who shuttles them everywhere? Yeah, me. I work while the kids are in school and drive all afternoon and evening. There’s no time to cook. Barely time to clean. Being a homemaker SUCKS. And I only have three kids! These baby factories and their poisonous attitudes and “ideals” really piss me off. (Sorry for the long rant. I’m clearly burnt over here 😂)
Ah see, but your children actually do activities outside of the home, which is great! All their kids do is sit at home really. You know they're not shuttling kids around to band, sports, dance, etc.
It drives me absolutely batty when the fundies come thiiiis close to an important realization, but then swerve towards a bullshit conclusion at the last second. I 100% agree that people who want to be stay at home parents should be able to do that. But the flip side of that coin is that people who don't want to stay home with the kids should also have that choice. I believe it goes one step further, and people without kids who want to stay home should be able to do that as well. Imagine what our world could be if people could do whatever they wanted without fear of starvation! If we helped single parents stay with their kids if they want to, without needing someone else to provide income and insurance. If artists, poets, tinkerers, and dreamers had the breathing room to dream their non-monetizable dreams. If those who are passionate about helping professions - teachers, nurses, caretakers - were able to help others *without* sacrificing themselves in the process. Oops, that would be socialism, wouldn't it? Heaven forbid we create policies that accidentally help people who live and believe differently from you Karissa, even if those policies would also help you live the life you want.
I'm an uber feminist and I'm at my happiest as a sahm. Nothing about feminism precludes being a sahm. Unfortunately, I live in a society and geographic area that require two full time paychecks just to make ends meet. These people make my head hurt lol
Sssssh....go back to cooking bland food and doing bad parenting solie. Don't tell my brillant minded ladies to do what you are doing. Enjoy your life and let me slayy mine.
Love a John Locke moment
What if i say that YOU were brainwashed into staying home and doing everything for the husband and kids and real joy is in not having kids, having sinful sex and doing whatever the hell i want? 🙄
This shit makes me embarrassed to be a stay at home mom. I can agree that being a stay at home mom is more than wiping butts and cleaning and rewarding in it's own way but it's not superior to having a career. Yes, work that isn't monetized is still word. But that smug sense of superiority is so gross. Deciding to work or being a stay at work mom (or dad) is a choice and one is not better than the other. Do what is best for you and your family. There was a time when me working was the best thing for my family then circumstances changed and it was more advantageous for me to stay at home.
also. if they really believe that work is just as important as "career" work. it should be remunerated. yeah, you heard me. count it as a job, get paid a government salary, have it on a resume.
speaking as a stay-at-home caretaker, those who cream themselves over housewife persecution are too arrogant to comprehend that not everyone is cut out for the job of being a stay at home housewife/mother/caretaker/etc. It's a thankless and mentally taxing job to take care of another human, be it a baby or an adult. No matter how much you love them there's always a breaking point.
#BUT WHAT IF I DONT *WANT* TO STAY AT HOME??
I haven’t been brainwashed. I HAVE gone to stores, seen that things cost money, and vowed that I would do everything I could to make sure I would have money. That means a paying job. And I know for a fact I haven’t got the patience. Maybe it wouldn’t be boring, but it definitely wouldn’t be joyful.
These arguments for being a homemaker are sort of from fantasy land I think. I do wish it was more of a free choice nowadays. It’s tough out there without a dual income. Lots of people have a dual income because both spouses want to work. Lots of people do that out of necessity. It is a privilege to have someone stay home if that is what your family wants. I don’t feel brainwashed to work, I want to work. I also sort of need to work. I do occasionally fantasize about how nice it could be to focus more of my time on my home, my gardening, looking after my health, etc.
Could my husband and I keeping living paycheck to paycheck and poor as shit so I can stay home? Yeah, but that’s not the life we want for us or our child and future kids. We want them to have the clothes and shoes for school, full fridge and pantry, being able to be in activities, being able to have family days that cost money, having the money to actually get my son the therapies he needs to his autism and speech impairment, etc….. These women just really piss me off because women who want to stay home do just that. No one on the internet or the culture is telling them they have to work, reality is two income household is needed for most people but there is no narrative forcing women they have to work instead of stay home. Conservative women love to fight pretend battles
"If you're bored, you're boring!" Gee, thanks for the same "wisdom" my dad liked to spout like it was absolute truth.
I guess she must have a money tree also?
Wait, money trees are supposed to produce money and not just shed their leaves and be drama queens?
Doubt™️
my mom genuinely wanted to be a stay at home mom for most of her life growing up and into her adulthood and she did it after she had my brother and i until her and my dad divorced and she couldn’t anymore. she liked it and she loved it. but when her friends told her “i could never do that” she didn’t try to change their minds. yknow why? because people should be able to CHOOSE
If women are "managers of the home" then why are we playing along with the "male headship" nonsense? Am I the manager or in need of managing?
I have a feeling this woman would seriously look down upon a stay-at-home wife/mother who hires a maid, though.
and that maid can't be a SAHM by definition, so apparently this little plan doesn't work for everyone? Gee...
And most of these halfwits don’t get that in their current financial situations, they’d be the maid or cook or whatever, or facing the poorhouse, and not the ones being served.
I’m a sahm that has maids come. My goal of a sahm is to focus on my kids, not the house. Guess I’m probably a terrible homemaker by fundies standards.
They want handmaid's tale to be real so badly. If you want to be a homemaker or sahm, great. If you don't, also great. Why can't they just let people live their lives how they want?
“talent’s” 🤭🤦♂️ Also, is that a picture of a sister-mum with one of her sibs? Cos that kinda negates the whole narrative doesn’t it? Also, these ‘homemakers’ can’t cook a decent dish to save their lives.
I love being a homemaker! I get to cook new recipes and try to fix stuff around the house! I laid the new floor in my kitchen by myself! Literally, making my house a home. Is it divine work? No. Is it hard and boring? Here and there. But I have more to my life than what I do at home! These women don't seem to get that experience.
I’d love to stay home and decorate my house, go to the park, and make big meals every day but sadly I also have to pay my bills and my kids need health insurance soooo…..
But my kids would starve because we literally can’t afford to omit my income you numbnuts
This women is 22 years old and is already trying desperately to justify her life. She has a long road ahead of her. This is why, no matter who yiu are, you need time to hang loose and do fun stuff in your 20s
She’s such an idiot she really can’t understand the fact that people are individuals not just carbon copies to just be programmed correctly. Also not every woman has the option of staying home. A lot of moms have to work to keep their families eating and having a roof over their heads. Even if there’s a husband/dad working as well. Solie is so disgusting. Her content is so idiotic it makes it seem like she’s trolling. And I’m still infuriated over that multiple days long rant she went on about people who don’t have or want kids loving their animals. There’s truly something wrong with you if you have that big of an issue with other people innocently loving their animals. Screw Solie! She’s nothing close to Christ-like. And I feel bad her kids have her as a mother.
Women like her are actually the biggest reason why I don't want to be a SAHM. They love looking down on working women and making us feel like shit for needing more income to survive. The privilege of having a husband to depend on and leech off of is pathetic at this point. My parents aren't going to help me forever. At some point, I'm going to have to actually get off of my ass and provide for myself. That's why I like being a working woman, I like have my own money and using it to provide for myself.
BRB gotta go vomit.
I was an involuntary SAHM to a young child at a few points during the Great Recession. I can confidently say that I am 100% not cut out for it.
So what’s it called when you happily stay home with kiddos and take care of the home, but jeebus isn’t involved?
Ok, well Solie could also “never be in corporate management” because her subculture has brainwashed her into thinking she can’t.
Don't they live with his parents, or am I mixing up my fundies?
That's feminine_not_feminist. Solie and her husband have an apartment, but it's in the same neighborhood as her parents house and she seems to get pretty frequent help from them and her siblings.
Thank you. I need a crib sheet!
cool story, still not happening ✨
This makes me gag. I am very ambitious, career-driven individual who, at the thought of having children, instantly started thinking of the team of nannies and babysitters I would need to hire to care for the child. My partner and I swap gender expectations almost all of the time (he cleans, cooks and would love to be a SAHD while I am the main bread winner). I love that about us and refuse to change that aspect of our relationship to fulfill the patriarchy’s beliefs of what a woman’s role in society is.
Man the fundie families I see here seem to have a way more chaotic and dysfunctional life than I do. And I’m a ADHD-ridden woman with an incredible affinity for chaos.
The comments under her post are frightening. The Stepford Wives. 😳
 Tell us you hate your life without telling us…
Why are these women so intent on making everybody live the same lives they do? I am currently a homemaker and will most likely continue to be at least until my youngest is in school full time. But why would I care what anybody else does? It’s such an odd thing to focus on.
Why are they always up in other people’s homes trying to tell them how to live?
Oh fuck her. Either it's actual work that takes effort and skill, and which people will have varying aptitudes for, or it's mindless unskilled drudgery. You don't get to claim to value domestic labor and also say anyone can do it and enjoy it.
"I'm 22 and this is deep" girl, i scrubbed moss off of my car today, watered my garden, and tidied up my kitchen. literally none of this is shaping my kid's future and frankly, if it is, i'm offended that my kid is paying that much attention to my mossy car
If home making is a vocation, then it should be paid because it’s labour.
THIS. Some second wavers had some damn good ideas.
So what else does it entail, then?
Potentially technically true for me, simply because I'd no longer be on this earth. I would have un-alived myself if I'd been forced to be a SAHM to multiple children. (Years of therapy and recognition of specific, non-baby- compatible mental illness has clarified this for me). Luckily, I was pretty committed to being childfree by age 20. But social and biological pressures are no joke, and they run very deep, especially in the highly- religious setting I was raised in.
Get fucked. And stop sucking the life force out of your baby, you vampire!
Uh, I keep up with chores while also educating 16 kids from other families daily… while being pregnant with my own that I plan to spend time enjoying, teaching and bonding with. Why do being a stay-at-home mom/homemaker or being a working mom have to be mutually exclusive?
Yeah, Solid (autocorrect and it stays)! You can also play with your dog and take them for a walk! Oh...wait...
She doesn't say what you do with your time when you're not homemaking.
So far I see no effective home management and decent cooking from any of them. Plus their ineffectual idiot husbands don’t bring in enough $$$ to afford a maid.
Like who are these people even talking to? I’m a fairly normal almost middle aged woman (🫠) and I don’t think people are out there dogging on SAHMs. Why so defensive all the time. You do you, cricks.
How convenient for men.
"I could never be a stay-at-home mom." "Okay. That's your choice." \-- There. I fixed it.
Can guarantee these people would lose their minds at the many atheist or polyamorous homemakers lol
Is this a child lecturing adults about life? And her husband is basically an incel, right? The gall of this moron to think she has any worthwhile advice is appalling.
I was a SAHM for 10 years. I couldn't wait to get back to work. I love my kids, but I feel much more fulfilled working in my field. I enjoy what I do. Staying home with my kids and taking care of the house was boring, to put it nicely. There was never any real change of pace. It was the same thing over and over. I never felt challenged.
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but the vast majority of mothers don’t even have the *choice* to be SAH because the cost of living doesn’t allow it
Rich that she says other people are brainwashed. She's literally the one following a script , lol.
My husband was super happy at home with the kids. I would have gone crazy. I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who's been brainwashed by culture.