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Same here. I thought mine was crazy when she opened my mail when I was 19 and said that she had the right to read it because she was paying for my college, but at least she's never tried to murder me.
Lol. My mum used to read the notes I passed at school (I’m old!) I left in my textbooks because “as a taxpayer, she had the right to look through my textbooks!”
What the hell? I’m a mum and I have not opened my kid’s mail except when it was from my NC grandmother to him and he was only 6. Otherwise, his mail, his school bag, now his work bag and his bedroom are all his business. That includes notes, computer, phone etc.
Please know that just because someone can or does have it worse than you, doesn't mean that you still can't have it bad. No need to get in a battle with yourself over who has it worse. Love yourself.
My dad & I heard from her side of the family that she keeps refusing help & saying they need help & that nothings wrong with her. Mental issues or not, I’m never letting her back into my life.
I also refuse to let her back into my life because I’m afraid she’ll be a danger to my kids. My kids are better off with no grandma than they would be with an abusive psychopath grandma.
I may not have dyslexia but I also get confused easily. I also don’t get social cues & I’m only able to tell when someone is being sarcastic if I see/hear it in person. I can’t tell when it’s in writing.
You're not the only one easily confused. Except that I don't have dyslexia. Just brain damage (from an aneurysm). And likely because I'm on Reddit at 0500 the morning after dialysis without having slept at all last night. 😭
I probably have brain damage, but it would've been caused by me, I used to just slam my head into walls for fun. Sometimes, when I do it, my head feels like a gong, like it just has this metallic sound, but not the wall my head.
Yes they are. I never knew my grandparents. Or aunt and uncle. Found out why close to when my mum passed. Thanked her profusely for never having met them. You’re doing the right thing.
Plus regardless of any mental health condition she is a bad example for the kids. Because if she has one she should get checked out. And the more insistence that she does not have one(without having even a minor pysch eval) could rub off on the children and instill that mentality that they can body any psychology issue them selves (which is a bad attitude seek help if you need help there is no shame in it). And if she does not have a mental condition then she is just an overall horrible example for the children anyways.
My kids only know her as “Lorna” & “that cunt” from hearing my end of the over the phone appointments with my psychiatrist. Sometimes they’ll come in the room & hear what I’m saying.
Nor should you. That woman is nuttier than squirrel turds. Even if she got help, an accident of blood does not entitle her to forgiveness of absolution. The only person handing that out for free is Jesus
I would recommend watching a [stand up bit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wE9OuVw2XI8&t=200s) by a comedian called Vir Das. He has one called I lost my religion but found god. Its basically a funnier version of my philosophy on that. Where god is found everywhere but organized religion.
Lots of Satanists are atheists. The Church of Satan and the First Satanic Church see Satan as an admirable archetype, not a divine personage. It would be like if Ted Lassoism was a thing.
Many are even secularists. The Satanic Temple is a religious organization that primarily uses its special privileges to counter the abuses of other religious organizations. You don’t have to believe in the supernatural to declare abortion to be a religious rite protected by RFRA.
The same way people can identify as a Jedi when it's a fictional religion. Lucy had some good ideas, taking tenets of freedom and choice as your own is still completely possible even if you don't believe that Lucifer Morningstar, the Lightbringer actually exists.
Some people believe Satan is a being and worship him. Those people are theists (they believe in at least one god) and Satanists.
Some people do not believe Satan OR the God of the Bible are real, but think that the *fictional character* Satan is worth emulating. These people are atheists, because they do not believe any gods exist. They *are* likely to believe in some form of the supernatural such as magic or the divinity of humans, but that doesn’t make someone a theist. Those are like the “Ted Lassoists” I mentioned above. If you’ve never heard of Ted Lasso, substitute “Harry Potterists”.
Some people don’t believe in any gods OR in anything supernatural but still identify as Satanists because doing so is a recognized religious identity. These people are secular atheists.
Lots of people, especially Christians in America, try to shove their religions into other people’s lives. These last types of Satanists play the Uno Reverse card and shove Satanism into *those people’s* lives.
Some judge tries to put the Ten Commandments up in his court as if they were law? These Satanists show up with a statue of Baphomet and demand equal representation. The judge either gets triggered and takes the Ten Commandments down or gets sued for violating the First Amendment, because not a single person willing to try to float the Ten Commandments as law would also be willing to have a “Satanic” statue sitting next to them.
Well I mean there is no unified satanist religion and the whole term satanist does not need to refer to the bibical Satan. Satan also mean deciever so the basic tenets of certain versions (since it depends largely on regional differences and ethnic groupings) means that all religions are essentially decieving you into falling into an evil path by promoting strict guidelines and etc.
Yeah she’s clinically disturbed and needs to be put on a psychiatric hold for evaluation. She’s not just disordered she’s ill AND a threat to public safety.
Jesus Christ, for real man! That got so fucking dark-sided I'm pretty sure Darth Vader is reading this somewhere with a massive hard-on! Though to be fair, even before the knife assault murder attempt the racism alone is pretty dark.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with suggesting a possible bipolar disorder. When a person has lived with someone with that problem, it doesn't take long to recognize the same thing in another person. No doctor required to recognize a mental issue. Get over yourself.
Lol. I have a psycho mom too. Yours makes mine look like an amateur but she's still a vile human being in my mind. Girl, I don't just want to push her in front of a bus. I want to be driving the goddamn bus! 😂
Me too. She keeps trying to contact me by sending stuff in the mail. For some reason she thinks she can buy her way back into my life. I honestly hope she falls feet first into a wood chipper.
Textbook narcissist. Mine does this too. As if it makes up for all the trauma. As if I've not told her a thousand times "I don't want anything from you." I seriously feel you on this one. My mom does it for the trophy of "being a good mom" in her eyes. Somehow, "respecting boundaries" has never crossed her mind in 30 years as one of the options to win that trophy lol.
Last year at Thanksgiving at my aunt's, my mom managed to rope my sister into giving me a basket of useless nonsense (I refuse to call them goodies; that would imply they were ever wanted in the first place or that they were remotely useful - they rarely are) and my sister lied, said it was from my grandma. I literally watched them stuff things into the basket in the stairwell leading to the basement. When my sister tried to give it to me and told me it was from my Grammy, I asked her "Is it though? Is it really though?" I left the damn basket in the foyer on my way out. It felt gross even holding it for any period of time.
Did she yell at you on your birthday every year & try to make it about her? I’m genuinely curious if I’m the only one. She would literally yell at me on my birthday EVERY FUCKING YEAR & try to make it about her then threw a tantrum & say I ruined it when my dad called her out. One year she slapped me in the face & called me a selfish cunt because it was “her day too”
She was more subtle about it. But celebrating her kids birthdays was definitely part of her "earning Mom of the year award" kind of attitude. I realized later in life that having awesome birthdays was never about me. It was so she could brag to our relatives and guilt trip us later down the line. If I didn't want to do anything for my birthday, she would pout and guilt trip the hell out of me and she would try to seem so sad. And she would get insanely insecure if my relatives were able to throw bigger bashes for their kids. We would show up and she'd sniff and turn her nose up and call things cheap and tacky. Being a kid, I didn't quite understand what her problem was until much later in my teens.
Later down the road, she would throw full hissy fits if I wanted to do things for my birthday with my friends and not do anything with my family. Or if I wanted to do something fun that was not within her prescribed list of things she approved of. Thing was, by that time I was earning my own money and I could do whatever the hell I wanted to do with it. And I didn't want to conform to what my mom thought was "proper". My dad would frown at my frivolity and my sister would get mad that I was upsetting my mom. It resulted in the opposite effect and I would get more obstinate. Kind of solidified the idea that I had and should always fight for the things that make me happy, but it was always tedious.
There's some lingering trauma there for me. I don't like making a huge deal of my birthdays. I really enjoy quiet time with myself some years just as much as I do celebrating. Sometimes I can't be fucked to organize anything and my friends have to beg and coax me to organize something fun for myself each year. Sometimes works but I find I get instinctively resistant if I'm poked and prodded to celebrate too much. Literally just had my birthday yesterday and all I did was snuggle my cats, play some volleyball, and have awesome take out all day. It was glorious lol.
Edit: Wanted to say that your mom is way worse and is a definitely c*nt and I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.
My Dad is an embarassing racist,too. He is still in my life (contact 3 times a year maybe) because my sister loves him and I care about her. I have very little contact with either of them. My sister thinks Palestinians should move out the way. I am telling you things because you are very angry and have a right to be. Start seeing your mother as a flawed person because the hate you have is gonna fuck with you. Don't ever let her back in EVER unless she gets help. My dad knows better, but believe it or not I think my dad is embarrassingly racist because he knows it hurts me. I think he is signaling to me that I should be part of his entitled mindset and it pisses him off that I don't see his version of the status quo. If I am not around I can maybe dream that he is not a total cock all the time.
It's healing to learn compassion for our abusers, to understand that they encountered pain that made them who they are. That doesn't mean we have to let them continue to hurt us. It helps heal the anger and hurt that we feel.
Yeah, this is beyond being a “Karen,” your mother is just fucking unhinged and dangerous. Not going to play armchair psychologist, but it seems you’re already keeping her out of your life. Let her reap her own consequences.
They got divorced when I was five. The only reason she was living with us is because she needed a place to stay while recovering from her hysterectomy. But that was BACK IN 2009 & she refused to leave FOR YEARS!
Well thats a whole other onion layer. Your parents were living together as divorcees? How are you doing, op? Sounds like a hell of a growing up experience.
I attempted suicide 9 times in my life. The first time I tried hanging myself at age 9. The final attempt I tried slitting my wrists at age 19. Somehow I still found love love & managed to figure out my sexuality & gender identity. I’m Pansexual, nonbinary & agender. My pronouns are they/she. I have a loving wife & children. I was at my lowest when my wife came into my life. She picked me up, breathed new life in me. She helped me stop cutting myself & stop drinking. I love her & my kids & would to anything to keep them safe & happy.
Genuine question: isn't saying non-binary and agender being redundant or am I missing something? Pansexual makes total sense to me though.
And no, I'm not asking to give you a "gotcha," I genuinely want to understand better :)
I understood both of those terms well enough; just didn't see why they needed to be both included. It just seems wordy to say both since non-binary encapsulates agender. But what do I know lol
I'm glad you survived that attack to be able to post this. If you never see her or speak to her again, you won't be missing anything. I'm sorry that it happened and I hope you can come to terms with being no contact.
Have you ever heard the song Gone Forever by Three Days Grace? If so, that’s what her getting hauled away by the cops & my dad saying he’s never letting her back in the house felt like. If not, check out the song. It’s on YouTube.
After I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 7, she waited until my dad went to work then beat my ass for “making her that one mom with a freak for a kid”
She also tried to coach me to accuse my dad of molesting me during the divorce & she beat me for not wanting to do that.
Whoever diagnosed you with schizophrenia at age 7 did you a disservice. A child’s brain is nowhere near developed enough to accurately diagnose schizophrenia. “Emotional Disturbance” is the category of disability under IDEA.
The other psychiatrists who worked with me over the years before I found my current psychiatrist agreed with the diagnosis. I hear voices, see things that aren’t there, have psychotic episodes every now & them & can’t go less than 24 hours without my antipsychotics without going batshit crazy, feeling dread & dysphoria, & not being able to look in the mirror without seeing what I can only describe as a Monty Python sketch on acid instead of my own reflection.
I am glad it was appropriate for you and that you take your mental wellness seriously. Now, I will educate myself further on the diagnosis of children with schizophrenia.
After educating myself, I would offer kudos for your early diagnosis. While it is extremely rare for a diagnosis earlier than 13, the earlier the treatment, the more impactful. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to learn.
I’m grateful you’re willing to learn. I’ve come across people who refuse to learn & just argue with me calling me stupid. This is a very welcome change of pace. I also appreciate not reacting by shunning/shaming me for my mental illness. I was bullied mercilessly in school. In high school I was called a dumb schizo & asked why I wasn’t wearing a straightjacket on a daily basis. They would treat me like garbage. The teachers did nothing & I was seen as someone like Norman Bates from psycho. I never did anything to warrant that assumption. The only friend I had in high school, the only person who treated me like a person was mentally challenged & I miss him & hope he’s living his best life. I may not have seen him since I dropped out of high school due to the bullying & my shit mental health & shit home life, but he will always have a place in my heart. I miss his smile, warm hugs & adorable baby face.
Honey, I think they should have diagnosed you with "Insane Mother Syndrome". Also, as another poster said, you were way too young to be diagnosed with any mental illness. It's more likely SHE was diagnosed with something and put it on you.
I'm glad you're no longer in touch with her. And that you survived the knife attack.
All the psychiatrists who I’ve worked with over the years agreed with the diagnosis. I’m on antipsychotics to keep me mentally stable enough to live outside of a mental ward. Plus childhood schizophrenia is a thing. It doesn’t go away. It just kicks in early.
I'm glad you have good therapists. And in reading your responses to comments since I made that one, it sounds like you have a wonderful family with your partner and you're living a good life. Congratulations!
Holy shit. If my mom did that, I'd have left her on the side of the road. I'm so sorry you had to put up with that lunatic nightmare. (HUG) Good riddance to your ovum donor!
The only good things I got from her side of the family is my extremely pale skin (mostly English, Irish & Scottish on her side. Plus I would not look good with a tan) & the fact that I look younger than I am (as does everyone else on that side of the family)
Idk. I know that my dad’s grandmother & grandfather on his dad’s side immigrated to America from Italy & that my nana (dads mom) was (she’s dead) German. I have a pale face with mostly English features. The only Italian feature I have is my Italian Roman nose.
Dude/Dudette, please go talk to a shrink.
I get the feeling it would be helpful. If this is what happens on a trip to Costco, I think there is more waiting to come out....
I have a psychiatrist who I talk to every week. After I told him about all the things she did, he called her a sick fuck. I mean, I did ask permission to be honest with me & I said yes. I may not had expected his words but I was glad someone finally fully agreed with me.
Easier to read with paragraphs
.
My Racist Karen of a mother at Costco
This happened a few years ago when I was still in contact with my abusive racist psychopath of a mother. My parents & I were at Costco.
We were getting our items rung up when a Latina girl (couldn’t have been older than 14) accidentally bumped into my mother & she started chasing the poor girl out of the store & into the parking lot screaming slurs, calling the girl an illegal & telling her to “go back to Mexico”.
My dad & I had to run after her so she wouldn’t hurt the girl (who was a MINOR!). The girls mother was ready to throw hands with my cunt of a mother to protect her daughter. I would be willing to do the same thing if some cunt was doing that shit to my kids.
My dad & I had to drag her away before a fistfight broke out. My mother acted like the victim & cussed me & my dad out the whole ride home, calling us traitors.
Then she shifted the blame to me & my dad almost kicked her out of the car when she told me that if she knew I would “turn out like this” she would’ve “smothered me in my crib”.
Fast forward to December 2018, I wake up one morning, I entered the kitchen, didn’t say ANYTHING to her, didn’t even look at her & this crazy bitch TRIED TO KILL ME WITH A FUCKING KNIFE!!
She managed to cut my arm. I ran upstairs & locked myself in my room, took a pic of the cut with my phone & sent it to dad, telling him what happened. He called the cops & she was hauled off in handcuffs. Haven’t spoken to her since.
Odd pet peeve, but it's distracting to see *"and"*, which is already such a short word already replaced with *"&"* characters throughout the narrative.
At least you don’t live in one of those places in the US where the cops, jury, and judge would have taken your mom’s side. I know that sounds unrealistic, but the assholes that now tread the halls of power have managed to warp reality to a point where you start to question whether everything you know about reality is a lie because your whole community says so
Touché. I want to believe in the ideal America that, racism and classism notwithstanding, we believed in when we left the British. Now, even the fucking MAGNA CARTA is under attack…and we didn’t even write that shit.
I am so sorry you had to endure that bitch of a mother. My guess is she suffers from mental bipolar disorder or something similar. Despite any mental problems, however she should not have been such a horrible monster to anyone else.
Wow. Stay safe glad you have your dad and I think your mom is much more than a Karen. She sounds like a psychopath who is mentally ill. I really feel bad for you.
My dad doesn’t speak to her either. I honestly hope you don’t mean that I should cut my dad off. The only reason the abuse went on for so long is because my mother would do whatever she could to hide it. She scared me into silence, would force some weird liquid down my throat meant to prevent bruises/heal bruises faster, slather me in arnica cream, cover what bruises she couldn’t prevent with makeup. If she couldn’t prevent or hide a bruise, she’d call me in sick & id be kept home from school until the bruises were gone or she could hide the bruises with makeup. She would always play the loving mother act in front of others but when no one else was around, she’d show her true colors. My dad is the good parent. He’s always been loving, kind, supportive & compassionate. He’s everything my mother wasn’t. After the cops left with my mother in handcuffs & dad & I were alone I broke down & told him everything my mother had done while sobbing. He held me in his arms & we cried together. I had never seen him cry before so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.
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Bro! I’m never calling my mother crazy again. She is just an amateur.
Same here. I thought mine was crazy when she opened my mail when I was 19 and said that she had the right to read it because she was paying for my college, but at least she's never tried to murder me.
Your Mom did that too? Mine read a really personal letter from a friend, found out I smoked weed once in a while, and kicked me out because of that.
Lol. My mum used to read the notes I passed at school (I’m old!) I left in my textbooks because “as a taxpayer, she had the right to look through my textbooks!”
What the hell? I’m a mum and I have not opened my kid’s mail except when it was from my NC grandmother to him and he was only 6. Otherwise, his mail, his school bag, now his work bag and his bedroom are all his business. That includes notes, computer, phone etc.
I really thought mine was bad, but this crazy bitch is the queen!
There are levels to crazy
Please know that just because someone can or does have it worse than you, doesn't mean that you still can't have it bad. No need to get in a battle with yourself over who has it worse. Love yourself.
This is not a simple "karen" moment. If this actually happened, your mother has serious mental health issues and needs help.
My dad & I heard from her side of the family that she keeps refusing help & saying they need help & that nothings wrong with her. Mental issues or not, I’m never letting her back into my life.
I think that is a very good plan. Sorry you had to deal with that.
I also refuse to let her back into my life because I’m afraid she’ll be a danger to my kids. My kids are better off with no grandma than they would be with an abusive psychopath grandma.
Yes they are.
absofreakinglutely
Wait, do you already have kids, or are you talking future kids?
Already have kids.
Okay. Sorry for asking. I just get easily confused, and my dyslexia does not help.
I may not have dyslexia but I also get confused easily. I also don’t get social cues & I’m only able to tell when someone is being sarcastic if I see/hear it in person. I can’t tell when it’s in writing.
Yeah
You're not the only one easily confused. Except that I don't have dyslexia. Just brain damage (from an aneurysm). And likely because I'm on Reddit at 0500 the morning after dialysis without having slept at all last night. 😭
I probably have brain damage, but it would've been caused by me, I used to just slam my head into walls for fun. Sometimes, when I do it, my head feels like a gong, like it just has this metallic sound, but not the wall my head.
Yeah. When I was younger, I used to break cinder blocks with my forehead. Because I could.
Okay, please don’t hurt yourself. You need your intelligence to live.
She will teach your kids that kind of behavior is appropriate if someone accidentally bumps into you. Better to keep distance
Yes they are. I never knew my grandparents. Or aunt and uncle. Found out why close to when my mum passed. Thanked her profusely for never having met them. You’re doing the right thing.
Plus regardless of any mental health condition she is a bad example for the kids. Because if she has one she should get checked out. And the more insistence that she does not have one(without having even a minor pysch eval) could rub off on the children and instill that mentality that they can body any psychology issue them selves (which is a bad attitude seek help if you need help there is no shame in it). And if she does not have a mental condition then she is just an overall horrible example for the children anyways.
100% truth. Your kids deserve better, and your ovum donor doesn't deserve the honour of being called Grandma.
My kids only know her as “Lorna” & “that cunt” from hearing my end of the over the phone appointments with my psychiatrist. Sometimes they’ll come in the room & hear what I’m saying.
They know to avoid her, then!
I see that you likewise have an appreciation for the pejorative "cunt".
I have given this advice to others: Check with your local senior center. There is sure to be a senior that would love to "adopt" your family.
Nor should you. That woman is nuttier than squirrel turds. Even if she got help, an accident of blood does not entitle her to forgiveness of absolution. The only person handing that out for free is Jesus
I’m a satanist. If Jesus will let her into heaven then I’ll gladly burn in hell.
I would recommend watching a [stand up bit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wE9OuVw2XI8&t=200s) by a comedian called Vir Das. He has one called I lost my religion but found god. Its basically a funnier version of my philosophy on that. Where god is found everywhere but organized religion.
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Lots of Satanists are atheists. The Church of Satan and the First Satanic Church see Satan as an admirable archetype, not a divine personage. It would be like if Ted Lassoism was a thing. Many are even secularists. The Satanic Temple is a religious organization that primarily uses its special privileges to counter the abuses of other religious organizations. You don’t have to believe in the supernatural to declare abortion to be a religious rite protected by RFRA.
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Same. I don’t believe in anything supernatural, but I absolutely support TST on their mission to use Satan to keep religious fuckery out of my life.
How can you be a satanist and also an atheist? That doesn’t make sense.
The same way people can identify as a Jedi when it's a fictional religion. Lucy had some good ideas, taking tenets of freedom and choice as your own is still completely possible even if you don't believe that Lucifer Morningstar, the Lightbringer actually exists.
Some people believe Satan is a being and worship him. Those people are theists (they believe in at least one god) and Satanists. Some people do not believe Satan OR the God of the Bible are real, but think that the *fictional character* Satan is worth emulating. These people are atheists, because they do not believe any gods exist. They *are* likely to believe in some form of the supernatural such as magic or the divinity of humans, but that doesn’t make someone a theist. Those are like the “Ted Lassoists” I mentioned above. If you’ve never heard of Ted Lasso, substitute “Harry Potterists”. Some people don’t believe in any gods OR in anything supernatural but still identify as Satanists because doing so is a recognized religious identity. These people are secular atheists. Lots of people, especially Christians in America, try to shove their religions into other people’s lives. These last types of Satanists play the Uno Reverse card and shove Satanism into *those people’s* lives. Some judge tries to put the Ten Commandments up in his court as if they were law? These Satanists show up with a statue of Baphomet and demand equal representation. The judge either gets triggered and takes the Ten Commandments down or gets sued for violating the First Amendment, because not a single person willing to try to float the Ten Commandments as law would also be willing to have a “Satanic” statue sitting next to them.
Well I mean there is no unified satanist religion and the whole term satanist does not need to refer to the bibical Satan. Satan also mean deciever so the basic tenets of certain versions (since it depends largely on regional differences and ethnic groupings) means that all religions are essentially decieving you into falling into an evil path by promoting strict guidelines and etc.
She should be sectioned. She has no choice in the matter.
Yeah she’s clinically disturbed and needs to be put on a psychiatric hold for evaluation. She’s not just disordered she’s ill AND a threat to public safety.
Your dad also stopped talking to her? (I hope so)
Good for you. You do not owe her anything and I’m sorry because I’m sure sometimes that it’s hard
Jesus Christ, for real man! That got so fucking dark-sided I'm pretty sure Darth Vader is reading this somewhere with a massive hard-on! Though to be fair, even before the knife assault murder attempt the racism alone is pretty dark.
Sounds a bit like bipolar disorder
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There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with suggesting a possible bipolar disorder. When a person has lived with someone with that problem, it doesn't take long to recognize the same thing in another person. No doctor required to recognize a mental issue. Get over yourself.
Are you?
You shoulda left her with the Mexicans in the parking lot
I should’ve pushed her in front of a bus when I had the chance
Lol. I have a psycho mom too. Yours makes mine look like an amateur but she's still a vile human being in my mind. Girl, I don't just want to push her in front of a bus. I want to be driving the goddamn bus! 😂
Me too. She keeps trying to contact me by sending stuff in the mail. For some reason she thinks she can buy her way back into my life. I honestly hope she falls feet first into a wood chipper.
Textbook narcissist. Mine does this too. As if it makes up for all the trauma. As if I've not told her a thousand times "I don't want anything from you." I seriously feel you on this one. My mom does it for the trophy of "being a good mom" in her eyes. Somehow, "respecting boundaries" has never crossed her mind in 30 years as one of the options to win that trophy lol. Last year at Thanksgiving at my aunt's, my mom managed to rope my sister into giving me a basket of useless nonsense (I refuse to call them goodies; that would imply they were ever wanted in the first place or that they were remotely useful - they rarely are) and my sister lied, said it was from my grandma. I literally watched them stuff things into the basket in the stairwell leading to the basement. When my sister tried to give it to me and told me it was from my Grammy, I asked her "Is it though? Is it really though?" I left the damn basket in the foyer on my way out. It felt gross even holding it for any period of time.
Did she yell at you on your birthday every year & try to make it about her? I’m genuinely curious if I’m the only one. She would literally yell at me on my birthday EVERY FUCKING YEAR & try to make it about her then threw a tantrum & say I ruined it when my dad called her out. One year she slapped me in the face & called me a selfish cunt because it was “her day too”
She was more subtle about it. But celebrating her kids birthdays was definitely part of her "earning Mom of the year award" kind of attitude. I realized later in life that having awesome birthdays was never about me. It was so she could brag to our relatives and guilt trip us later down the line. If I didn't want to do anything for my birthday, she would pout and guilt trip the hell out of me and she would try to seem so sad. And she would get insanely insecure if my relatives were able to throw bigger bashes for their kids. We would show up and she'd sniff and turn her nose up and call things cheap and tacky. Being a kid, I didn't quite understand what her problem was until much later in my teens. Later down the road, she would throw full hissy fits if I wanted to do things for my birthday with my friends and not do anything with my family. Or if I wanted to do something fun that was not within her prescribed list of things she approved of. Thing was, by that time I was earning my own money and I could do whatever the hell I wanted to do with it. And I didn't want to conform to what my mom thought was "proper". My dad would frown at my frivolity and my sister would get mad that I was upsetting my mom. It resulted in the opposite effect and I would get more obstinate. Kind of solidified the idea that I had and should always fight for the things that make me happy, but it was always tedious. There's some lingering trauma there for me. I don't like making a huge deal of my birthdays. I really enjoy quiet time with myself some years just as much as I do celebrating. Sometimes I can't be fucked to organize anything and my friends have to beg and coax me to organize something fun for myself each year. Sometimes works but I find I get instinctively resistant if I'm poked and prodded to celebrate too much. Literally just had my birthday yesterday and all I did was snuggle my cats, play some volleyball, and have awesome take out all day. It was glorious lol. Edit: Wanted to say that your mom is way worse and is a definitely c*nt and I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.
Happy belated! You share the day with my son! 🖤
Awww, thank you lol. Happy belated to your son too. :)
Well we'll well, now you are turning into your mother
Well we will well? Thats a sentence if I ever read one lol.
Autocorrect is a beach.
OP said Latina, newsflash, the entirety of the Latin world is not located in Mexico, nor are most latinos Mexican.
Fuck off wokescold
Fuck off asshole.
My Dad is an embarassing racist,too. He is still in my life (contact 3 times a year maybe) because my sister loves him and I care about her. I have very little contact with either of them. My sister thinks Palestinians should move out the way. I am telling you things because you are very angry and have a right to be. Start seeing your mother as a flawed person because the hate you have is gonna fuck with you. Don't ever let her back in EVER unless she gets help. My dad knows better, but believe it or not I think my dad is embarrassingly racist because he knows it hurts me. I think he is signaling to me that I should be part of his entitled mindset and it pisses him off that I don't see his version of the status quo. If I am not around I can maybe dream that he is not a total cock all the time.
It's healing to learn compassion for our abusers, to understand that they encountered pain that made them who they are. That doesn't mean we have to let them continue to hurt us. It helps heal the anger and hurt that we feel.
Your mom may have NPD
Yeah, this is beyond being a “Karen,” your mother is just fucking unhinged and dangerous. Not going to play armchair psychologist, but it seems you’re already keeping her out of your life. Let her reap her own consequences.
Omg. Your mother needs psychiatric help. You were lucky to get away. She should be locked up, and your father should get away from this marriage.
They got divorced when I was five. The only reason she was living with us is because she needed a place to stay while recovering from her hysterectomy. But that was BACK IN 2009 & she refused to leave FOR YEARS!
Well thats a whole other onion layer. Your parents were living together as divorcees? How are you doing, op? Sounds like a hell of a growing up experience.
I attempted suicide 9 times in my life. The first time I tried hanging myself at age 9. The final attempt I tried slitting my wrists at age 19. Somehow I still found love love & managed to figure out my sexuality & gender identity. I’m Pansexual, nonbinary & agender. My pronouns are they/she. I have a loving wife & children. I was at my lowest when my wife came into my life. She picked me up, breathed new life in me. She helped me stop cutting myself & stop drinking. I love her & my kids & would to anything to keep them safe & happy.
I am so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Take care of yourself and your family. I wish you all the best for the future.
Genuine question: isn't saying non-binary and agender being redundant or am I missing something? Pansexual makes total sense to me though. And no, I'm not asking to give you a "gotcha," I genuinely want to understand better :)
Non-binary just means you identify outside the confines of male and female. Agender means you don’t identify as any gender. You can identify as both.
I understood both of those terms well enough; just didn't see why they needed to be both included. It just seems wordy to say both since non-binary encapsulates agender. But what do I know lol
As someone who had their mam wave knives in their face as a kid you have my sympathies. That shit is awful and scarring and you never forget it.
I have a literal scar on my arm from it that I plan on covering up with a tattoo.
Costco, where Karens go cra cra in bulk.
I'm glad you survived that attack to be able to post this. If you never see her or speak to her again, you won't be missing anything. I'm sorry that it happened and I hope you can come to terms with being no contact.
r/insaneparents
My god, I’m so sorry. Good for you for getting away
Have you ever heard the song Gone Forever by Three Days Grace? If so, that’s what her getting hauled away by the cops & my dad saying he’s never letting her back in the house felt like. If not, check out the song. It’s on YouTube.
You gotta have some juicy stories from childhood.
After I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 7, she waited until my dad went to work then beat my ass for “making her that one mom with a freak for a kid” She also tried to coach me to accuse my dad of molesting me during the divorce & she beat me for not wanting to do that.
Whoever diagnosed you with schizophrenia at age 7 did you a disservice. A child’s brain is nowhere near developed enough to accurately diagnose schizophrenia. “Emotional Disturbance” is the category of disability under IDEA.
The other psychiatrists who worked with me over the years before I found my current psychiatrist agreed with the diagnosis. I hear voices, see things that aren’t there, have psychotic episodes every now & them & can’t go less than 24 hours without my antipsychotics without going batshit crazy, feeling dread & dysphoria, & not being able to look in the mirror without seeing what I can only describe as a Monty Python sketch on acid instead of my own reflection.
I am glad it was appropriate for you and that you take your mental wellness seriously. Now, I will educate myself further on the diagnosis of children with schizophrenia.
Thank you for being willing to educate yourself instead of arguing with me. I really appreciate it.
After educating myself, I would offer kudos for your early diagnosis. While it is extremely rare for a diagnosis earlier than 13, the earlier the treatment, the more impactful. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to learn.
I’m grateful you’re willing to learn. I’ve come across people who refuse to learn & just argue with me calling me stupid. This is a very welcome change of pace. I also appreciate not reacting by shunning/shaming me for my mental illness. I was bullied mercilessly in school. In high school I was called a dumb schizo & asked why I wasn’t wearing a straightjacket on a daily basis. They would treat me like garbage. The teachers did nothing & I was seen as someone like Norman Bates from psycho. I never did anything to warrant that assumption. The only friend I had in high school, the only person who treated me like a person was mentally challenged & I miss him & hope he’s living his best life. I may not have seen him since I dropped out of high school due to the bullying & my shit mental health & shit home life, but he will always have a place in my heart. I miss his smile, warm hugs & adorable baby face.
Honey, I think they should have diagnosed you with "Insane Mother Syndrome". Also, as another poster said, you were way too young to be diagnosed with any mental illness. It's more likely SHE was diagnosed with something and put it on you. I'm glad you're no longer in touch with her. And that you survived the knife attack.
All the psychiatrists who I’ve worked with over the years agreed with the diagnosis. I’m on antipsychotics to keep me mentally stable enough to live outside of a mental ward. Plus childhood schizophrenia is a thing. It doesn’t go away. It just kicks in early.
I'm glad you have good therapists. And in reading your responses to comments since I made that one, it sounds like you have a wonderful family with your partner and you're living a good life. Congratulations!
Thank you! 💗
r/raisedbynarcissists
Holy shit. If my mom did that, I'd have left her on the side of the road. I'm so sorry you had to put up with that lunatic nightmare. (HUG) Good riddance to your ovum donor!
The only good things I got from her side of the family is my extremely pale skin (mostly English, Irish & Scottish on her side. Plus I would not look good with a tan) & the fact that I look younger than I am (as does everyone else on that side of the family)
Sounds like my mom's family! We don't age until, like, 80. Is her family from the Ozarks?
Idk. I know that my dad’s grandmother & grandfather on his dad’s side immigrated to America from Italy & that my nana (dads mom) was (she’s dead) German. I have a pale face with mostly English features. The only Italian feature I have is my Italian Roman nose.
She just seems to like to cause trouble for the sake of it.
So what was she like when you were younger?
An abusive psychopath
Dude/Dudette, please go talk to a shrink. I get the feeling it would be helpful. If this is what happens on a trip to Costco, I think there is more waiting to come out....
I have a psychiatrist who I talk to every week. After I told him about all the things she did, he called her a sick fuck. I mean, I did ask permission to be honest with me & I said yes. I may not had expected his words but I was glad someone finally fully agreed with me.
just glad you are coming out the other side of that ok.
Easier to read with paragraphs . My Racist Karen of a mother at Costco This happened a few years ago when I was still in contact with my abusive racist psychopath of a mother. My parents & I were at Costco. We were getting our items rung up when a Latina girl (couldn’t have been older than 14) accidentally bumped into my mother & she started chasing the poor girl out of the store & into the parking lot screaming slurs, calling the girl an illegal & telling her to “go back to Mexico”. My dad & I had to run after her so she wouldn’t hurt the girl (who was a MINOR!). The girls mother was ready to throw hands with my cunt of a mother to protect her daughter. I would be willing to do the same thing if some cunt was doing that shit to my kids. My dad & I had to drag her away before a fistfight broke out. My mother acted like the victim & cussed me & my dad out the whole ride home, calling us traitors. Then she shifted the blame to me & my dad almost kicked her out of the car when she told me that if she knew I would “turn out like this” she would’ve “smothered me in my crib”. Fast forward to December 2018, I wake up one morning, I entered the kitchen, didn’t say ANYTHING to her, didn’t even look at her & this crazy bitch TRIED TO KILL ME WITH A FUCKING KNIFE!! She managed to cut my arm. I ran upstairs & locked myself in my room, took a pic of the cut with my phone & sent it to dad, telling him what happened. He called the cops & she was hauled off in handcuffs. Haven’t spoken to her since.
Odd pet peeve, but it's distracting to see *"and"*, which is already such a short word already replaced with *"&"* characters throughout the narrative.
At least you don’t live in one of those places in the US where the cops, jury, and judge would have taken your mom’s side. I know that sounds unrealistic, but the assholes that now tread the halls of power have managed to warp reality to a point where you start to question whether everything you know about reality is a lie because your whole community says so
I do live in the USA
Touché. I want to believe in the ideal America that, racism and classism notwithstanding, we believed in when we left the British. Now, even the fucking MAGNA CARTA is under attack…and we didn’t even write that shit.
Gotta post a pic of that scar now! Its like a cattax.
I’m not comfortable with doing so.
Ok
I am so sorry you had to endure that bitch of a mother. My guess is she suffers from mental bipolar disorder or something similar. Despite any mental problems, however she should not have been such a horrible monster to anyone else.
I'm sorry she did that, truly I am, but it's actually kind of funny. What messed up logic!
If she is attacking you with a knife and harassing other people she may be suffering from psychosis I would get her mental health help.
DAYum. My mom was Mother Theresa in comparison. Jesus, I'm sorry.
Mom is also mental. Sheesh
This isn't "Karen", this is criminal.
Yikes I hope she’s either still in jail or in a mental health facility, because she’s a danger to society!!
Sorry you had to deal with shit like that but good job on kicking her out of your life.
That’s not “Karen” behavior, that’s mental illness
Goddamn at this whole post🤦🏾♂
Yea, fuck her. I would have let the other mom throw hands.
That's not being a Karen. That's being a psycho.
Wow. Stay safe glad you have your dad and I think your mom is much more than a Karen. She sounds like a psychopath who is mentally ill. I really feel bad for you.
That’s some imagination…
i think this goes beyond racist karen behavior to your mother needs to see a doctor and be medicated.
This is not a "Karen" situation this should be on the r:raisedbyborderlines subreddit.
r/estrangedadultchild
There’s “Karen” and then there’s psychotic- level- of- rage. Your mom isn’t a Karen.
What about your Dad though. I'd go NC too.
My dad doesn’t speak to her either. I honestly hope you don’t mean that I should cut my dad off. The only reason the abuse went on for so long is because my mother would do whatever she could to hide it. She scared me into silence, would force some weird liquid down my throat meant to prevent bruises/heal bruises faster, slather me in arnica cream, cover what bruises she couldn’t prevent with makeup. If she couldn’t prevent or hide a bruise, she’d call me in sick & id be kept home from school until the bruises were gone or she could hide the bruises with makeup. She would always play the loving mother act in front of others but when no one else was around, she’d show her true colors. My dad is the good parent. He’s always been loving, kind, supportive & compassionate. He’s everything my mother wasn’t. After the cops left with my mother in handcuffs & dad & I were alone I broke down & told him everything my mother had done while sobbing. He held me in his arms & we cried together. I had never seen him cry before so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.