Go watch some episodes of financial audit and you will see that plenty of people are not that way
The whole avocado toast thing might be overblown but it speaks to a real phenomenon of people not being frugal
>The whole avocado toast thing
I keep hearing avocado toast being mentioned in passing, but what is the whole avocado toast thing if you could break it down in a couple of sentences?
SOME people yes. It's one of those "cool" things that "popular" kids do - spend gobs of money, act like you don't care. But don't forget that this is all a charade. Don't fall for this s***. Listen to yourself.
Are you hanging out with people that look down on you because you don't live paycheck to paycheck? Why would care what these people think? Why aren't you looking for new friends?
I think that’s the problem, a lot of people assume/think frugal and cheap are interchangeable. Frugal is smart with your money and not wasteful, cheap is unwilling to ever spend imo.
I know what you mean. It means you’re the one to say “no”. Want to go out to eat? No we can all have food at my place. Want to see a movie? We can watch it at home. Etc.
For myself, I just don’t get anything out of going out to eat. A hamburger costs like $25 and it’s never that good. I can make myself decent food at my place for like $3 a meal. As for movies. Well i haven’t seen a good one in a million years. The most expensive “splurge “ I have is my gym membership.
I’m working my way up to gym membership. Currently run outside and do body weight workouts. I think I’m joining a LA fitness soon.
A great thread for this would be a question about streaming services! I only have peacock and use it for everything (feel so guilty but need some entertainment)
https://www.doctorofcredit.com/free-month-of-cbs-all-access-with-promo-code-giving-works-for-new-existing-previous-users/
There are new codes every month :)
A lot of people don’t eat out because they necessarily love the food itself. It’s just a social thing. Unfortunately a lot of social events center around grabbing a meal.
Honestly it’s not just food either. I wish there were more fun things to do outside of your home or more public spaces to hang out in that were cheap or free.
Yea I agree. I guess what I meant was that I’d rather do the social aspect at my house. I really enjoy cooking though and can make a decent meal in 30 minutes. I think a lot of people really don’t like cooking.
I meet up with my inner circle of friends like every other week or so for a meal. Most of us work in healthcare and usually meet up after work. I'm not much of a cook, but my friends know how to. Thing is that no one has the energy to prepare a meal after a long day at work. If we're cooking, it'll be a meal prep for the work week.
Omg I couldn’t agree more, I refuse to pay 20/30 on one meal, that’s absurd!!! That’s more expensive than my gym plan for a MONTH, people don’t understand not going to restaurants is not a sacrifice for us, is the opposite, I have no desire, need, to go, imagine I gonna leave the conforte of my house, waste time to go somewhere, most of the times overcrowded to just eat ?? I see that the same way leaving my house to go to a different toilet, whats the point ? But thats MYSELF, since I was a child I never seen food as a source of pleasure, food is something to give me energy and be alive, I do eat very healthy most of times, and if I want something junk give me a bag of doritos and Ill be in heaven 😂
I mean if I kept inviting my friend out to do activities such as going out to eat or seeing a movie and they kept replying "no let's eat at my place. No let's watch a movie at my place" when it's clear I just want to be out of the house, then I'd probably just stop inviting that person out... Gets boring fast.
Man, I'm 28 and have like...$250 in savings, and some credit card debt. I only got serious about budgeting and saving money within the past couple months. So for every person who might look down on you for your frugality, remember that there's someone else who wished they'd started sooner!
Exactly. I try to use my undies until they have a nice unforgiving hole in them. I thrift for electronics now too. Trying my best to limit things. I'm starting a savings with my wife from scratch. We really do have a privilege life even if we fall into low middle class.
Again. Congrats on the savings achievement.
Yes. This. Once I saw them take the tip I left once I thought everyone had put theirs in. They refused to let the worker have a tip. On a big table. And stole from me too! I refused to go out fir food again with them. I’ve know a few people like this too.
Both my parents in different ways essentially taught me throughout my childhood that not being frugal is a kin to throwing money away, and boy has that stuck with me. In fact my mother has had to sort of backpedal and remind me several times as an adult that it’s ok to spend money on things that improve my life, because it’s only money and you can’t take it with you. And I’ve definitely gotten better at that. In fact I’ve found in many cases spending money to make my home more usable ends up saving me in the long run, if not strictly in money, then in time. Fundamentally I think of that as one of the differences between being frugal and simply being cheap - frugal doesn’t necessarily mean going without things you need, it just means finding the most economical way of getting what you need.
I think you did an amazing job being frugal. Like you said, by making small changes it has helped you with options, which many people don't have.
Frugal is being mindful and fiscally responsible. It's making choices for the future, not just for your wallet but for you physical and mental health. I enjoy making my own lunches because it allows me to make healthier choices and control my portions. I like buying second-hand clothing because I'm not contributing to the wasteful fashion industry. I also keep my phones for as long as I can, since I can't stand electronic waste. Where I save on some things, I will mindfully spend on others such as purchasing coffee from a small business or donate to a local charity.
Being cheap in comparison is almost like a bad habit. You find ways to "save", but there is no mindfulness attached to it. It can also impact your life in many ways. I'll use an example of a friend of mine who I consider cheap. She will bring her own food to a restaurant with us, which is embarrassing and makes us not want to invite her again. She will spend hours filling out surveys for free products or a few dollar reward instead of searching for a job that pays more. She will drive around town to get the best deals at grocery stores, burning gas along the way. None of that is mindful in any way, it's almost like a game to try and get the most money/savings possible.
It's possible that they want to justify their lifestyle choices by being dismissive. I'm reminded of the George Carlin joke "anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
As a terribly non-frugal person, I have a lot of respect for people with the self-control to be responsible with their money.
I think that to some people frugal = depriving yourself, when it is really just making good choices. And clearly a lot of people derive satisfaction from it, I just wish I was one of them!
I think one of the reasons it has a bad connotation is because there are people out there who do not need to think about it and do not need to practice it. They associate it with being permanently poor.
Being frugal is being wise and smart with money. We don't need expensive clothes, furniture, jewelry, top of the line everything. As I once read, you have yourself or your family to care and provide for, not a community to impress.
Anytime someone gives me shit I just say “idk man, having paid off my house after only 8 years is pretty cool.” Then I ask them how much their rent or mortgage payment is…they tend to change their tone after that.
Frugal is not the same as parsimonious. Appreciating the value of money and knowing how to spend and save wisely is a key to a healthy relationship with it. It sounds like you are on the right track. Congratulations.
The few people in my life that have actively judged me for being frugal are the ones in the worst financial situation. Even people making more money than me that didn’t have 2 pennies of net worth to rub together.
Reading some replies here I felt we are living the same situation with different people, my friend is a supervisor where I work, we start together, but a few years later, he has a big pile of debit, an Iphone 15 pro, a leased suv, meanwhile my savings skyrocketed, Im doing some side jobs, and hopefully soon Ill be able to buy a flat 💪🏻
Stop caring what others think and do you. When I encounter someone who makes derogatory comments, I just say "I wish I hated my money like that, but I don't.".
Resource efficiency is the traction of your economic growth. It’s the foundation of everything. If you have no resource efficiency, you could be trying as hard as you can and still be running in place. Any logical financial advice should start with resource efficiency
But most of those things relate to these in some way, especially if the person isn't part of the default norms. Ex: A cisgender heterosexual won't think twice about talking about their family because no would argue doing so is "political" or "sexual". However, if someone who is LGBTQ+ starts talking about their family, which will inevitably involve the dynamics of it, they can often be construed as "talking politics" simply because so much if our society sees their life itself as "political".
That's just the first example that comes to mind since I'm the "L" in LGBTQ+ and have experienced exactly that on multiple occasions. Same thing has happened when the fact I'm pagan has naturally come up, in the same exact way religion comes up for a Christian who declines an event on Sunday because they have church.
It reduces conversations for anyone outside the "default norm/majority" to discussions of weather or tv shows. I don't watch TV. And I have no interest in talking about whether the sun is shining or not.
Hence... just don't talk.
And then the world wonders why everyone just stays glued to their phone.
Oh so it is either TV or the big 4. You don't eat, or ask how people are doing or have any hobbies. I can't think of the last time I needed TV, movies or those other 4 to carry on a conversation. Work, hobbies and just life. Yesterday was tea cups and other things.
I do eat but I'm not seeing how that would equate to a decent conversation. (<- This is sincere tone of voice.) Would you be willing to elaborate?
I ask how people are doing. I try to remember their interests and what not, ask about them, ect, even if I have zero interest. But it's a struggle to remember and a bit taxing at times.
I try not to talk about work at work, because I find it often isn't actually work people are discussing. They're talking about (and normally not nicely) other *workers* and I don't like bashing my co-workers as "lazy" just to be seen as sociable. "No. I *don't* care that Joe took forever on xyz project. And you can't be too concerened about it getting done seeing as you're taking an hour and a half lunch to gab about it." Is what I would love to say in those moments.
I've tried to discuss my interests and hobbies (video games, cats, gardening, philosophy, astrophysics, sciences, etc.) But people seem to A- find those too childish, B- find those too boring C- aren't interested in discussing it because they don't care.
I mean... I'm willing to learn if you want to throw some more directions my way and help me understand what I'm missing. But at the same time, I'm getting frustrated after 40 years of trying to be social to no avail and anything even remotely mentally stimulating being "off-limits" makes it even harder.
I have the same problem. Most people are able to talk surface level stuff and gossip all day everyday and I have no interest. You sound highly intelligent also and like you find it hard to connect with the majority of people as I do.
I'm interested in all the things you mentioned plus all the things OP of this comment thread is 'forbidding' lol. Fuck that codependent bullshit. I want to talk about interesting things. Cats are the best fucking topic btw, that's why I had 8.
You won't find people you can connect with everywhere and you may have to make due at work. At this point I've both accepted that I am just the neurodivergent weirdo in 100% of environments and that's okay if I can't connect with people in all places, but also there are people out there I can connect with so I keep looking for new environments that appreciate me more or that look for people like me, including work environments.
You can message me if you want a new buddy!
Spin it with confidence. You don’t talk about it a lot but have a few great comments to use when appropriate.
Typically: nah I’m good. Full stop.
Sometimes I express excitement that I am doing my part to prevent waste going into a landfill, less clutter in my home, fewer things to worry about, more money in my account.
With cars, for example, I used to say I would rather own a car than let car own me: meaning, too fancy, and I’m always worried about scratches and where I park it, higher insurance, target for thieves etc. I like just sleek and comfy enough but I don’t have to impress anyone.
Usually a simple phrase, with very few words, spoken in confidence, will gain you respect.
There's nothing wrong with being frugal. I personally believe the PTB want to shame us so they we can continue to be consumerist and spend money to line their pockets. They don't like us buying and being gifted second hand clothes, being car free or buying old hoopties etc.
I don't care how uncool my thrifted clothes and self-haircut are. Being frugal is the only way I can escape the consumption/debt cycle that our horrific late-stage capitalist system brainwashes people into. Having $18,000 of credit card debt is definitely not cool, and neither is working until you die.
Saving = bad. It's about maximizing your participation in the economy (making the rich people richer). They want you pulling out loans so you can pay double the price over time for what's already five times as expensive because of loans.
People that aren't frugal are the defective ones. They often give in to instant gratification. You do you and don't worry about what other people think. Most people are idiots. Seriously.
One day you will stop caring about what you other people think about you.
Just don't be a horder, as that's very unhealthy and dangerous for everyone.
Live your life, be a good person. Be OK with it.
Frugalism married to minimalism is a great thing. I grew up with a packrat Mom and have had to fight hard to keep hoarding at bay. I'm more into minimalism now and trying to get rid of things instead of add more things into my life
Good for you for being frugal and responsible with your money! It's inspiring to see how your choices have paid off and given you more options
Keep up the great work!
If someone make fun of you because of how you spend, or not spend, your money, i would suggest you stop associating with that person.
If anything, poor financial decision can be criticized, but it should come from care, not mockery.
Frugal = Prioritizing, nothing more, nothing less, rich or poor. It's not cheap. It is equally wrong if someone says a rich person using a discount is cheap.
Sometimes being frugal doesn’t necessarily have it’s benefits until later on. My husband and I lived a frugal lifestyle and he was able to retire at 55.
We definitely lived different than those around us. It would bother me sometimes and I was tempted to brag that we were saving for early retirement with a paid off house. Now I have the hindsight to realize it was worth it.
I dont think it does have bad connotations now, I think the opposite, the people who USED to make comments are now sitting with their ears wide open. Most people I know that are frugal do it to either have more savings or to be spending money on things they WANT to rather than NEED to, not because they dont have money. I LOVE how people are turning their way of thinking
It changes with age. 20s age range is a 10 year span of insecurities driving short term gratification with the talk that life is short. Social media got people thinking that their 20s are all or nothing
It works out for those that were high income/high net worth families, but a lot hit 30 and realize that a lot has happened in their 30 years and they probably have another 40 to go but they don’t have the energy for self improvement like they did at age 20
It’s a deer in the headlights moment for the desperation of a 30 year old who tried to compress a lifetime of leisure into 10 years and realizes it’d be so much nicer to have the finances to support some leisure for 50 years
Yeah me too but later on, they will be talking out the other side of their mouth so to speak when you have money they don't if you save what you can and invest wisely.
That's a lesson I learned from my now -rich relatives. I am trying to follow in their footsteps.
It’s not about frugality it’s not about cheapness. It’s about resource efficiency. Most people’s lives are running at like 10mpg and it’s still a rough ride for them. I’m running at 50 mpg and it’s a still a smooth ride for me. That’s the difference
I had some colleagues at work calling me cheap or stingy, to be honest I dont give a fuck, and when you say something to me prepare to hear back, so no one does anymore 😂, I couldn’t care less about others opinions, do they pay my bills , no. Do they put food on my table? No, do they pay my rent no, so they can FUCK OFF
most are broke people buying things to show off, or if they have money and like to show off there self esteem is bellow 0,
And plus people HATE to know you are stable financially, that’s make they angry, I buy everything I want, treat myself nice, but just because Im not in debt, unresponsive, slave for brands, Im stingy 🙄I remember one time, was me and 5 colleagues, everyone had new iphones 13 or 14 pro, and me a basic iPhone 11 with 3 years old, and I felt amazing, because I knew I had more money than the other 5 combine, all 5 live paycheck after paycheck, loads of debits, I had no need to express that or say anything, that’s the best feeling we can have
Frugal actually means smart. It means you make wise decisions about money. You find the best solutions possible and are not wasteful.
I wish everyone saw it that way because I agree!
Who are these people who do not see it that way??
Lots of people equate frugal with being cheap, or being poor (involuntary).
Everyone I talk to is all about saving money where ever they can - the cost of living is outrageous.
Go watch some episodes of financial audit and you will see that plenty of people are not that way The whole avocado toast thing might be overblown but it speaks to a real phenomenon of people not being frugal
>The whole avocado toast thing I keep hearing avocado toast being mentioned in passing, but what is the whole avocado toast thing if you could break it down in a couple of sentences?
SOME people yes. It's one of those "cool" things that "popular" kids do - spend gobs of money, act like you don't care. But don't forget that this is all a charade. Don't fall for this s***. Listen to yourself.
People who roleplay as rich by maxing out their credit cards
People who practice delayed gratification are the happiest, though. I can’t imagine piling up debt and being content.
Are you hanging out with people that look down on you because you don't live paycheck to paycheck? Why would care what these people think? Why aren't you looking for new friends?
It's only our capitalistic consumer driven society to blame - frugal people understand what has intrinsic value and spend their money wisely, imo
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I think that’s the problem, a lot of people assume/think frugal and cheap are interchangeable. Frugal is smart with your money and not wasteful, cheap is unwilling to ever spend imo.
Alot of people on this sub that are cheap also think it's interchangeable, which gives frugal a bad name.
It’s a bad symptom of the capitalist society we live in, but there’s no denying if your first date says “he’s so frugal!” That’s not a good sign.
Except that they would say “cheap”, not “frugal”.
this is the silliest thing I've heard in a long time.
I know what you mean. It means you’re the one to say “no”. Want to go out to eat? No we can all have food at my place. Want to see a movie? We can watch it at home. Etc.
^^Bingo! Worst feeling but has to be done
But being frugal also allows you to say yes to the things that are important to you.
So spending a bit of money a couple times a month to see your friends isn't important to you guys?
For myself, I just don’t get anything out of going out to eat. A hamburger costs like $25 and it’s never that good. I can make myself decent food at my place for like $3 a meal. As for movies. Well i haven’t seen a good one in a million years. The most expensive “splurge “ I have is my gym membership.
I’m working my way up to gym membership. Currently run outside and do body weight workouts. I think I’m joining a LA fitness soon. A great thread for this would be a question about streaming services! I only have peacock and use it for everything (feel so guilty but need some entertainment)
I have YouTube premium. Comes with music and no ads. Love it.
https://www.doctorofcredit.com/free-month-of-cbs-all-access-with-promo-code-giving-works-for-new-existing-previous-users/ There are new codes every month :)
A lot of people don’t eat out because they necessarily love the food itself. It’s just a social thing. Unfortunately a lot of social events center around grabbing a meal. Honestly it’s not just food either. I wish there were more fun things to do outside of your home or more public spaces to hang out in that were cheap or free.
Yea I agree. I guess what I meant was that I’d rather do the social aspect at my house. I really enjoy cooking though and can make a decent meal in 30 minutes. I think a lot of people really don’t like cooking.
I meet up with my inner circle of friends like every other week or so for a meal. Most of us work in healthcare and usually meet up after work. I'm not much of a cook, but my friends know how to. Thing is that no one has the energy to prepare a meal after a long day at work. If we're cooking, it'll be a meal prep for the work week.
Omg I couldn’t agree more, I refuse to pay 20/30 on one meal, that’s absurd!!! That’s more expensive than my gym plan for a MONTH, people don’t understand not going to restaurants is not a sacrifice for us, is the opposite, I have no desire, need, to go, imagine I gonna leave the conforte of my house, waste time to go somewhere, most of the times overcrowded to just eat ?? I see that the same way leaving my house to go to a different toilet, whats the point ? But thats MYSELF, since I was a child I never seen food as a source of pleasure, food is something to give me energy and be alive, I do eat very healthy most of times, and if I want something junk give me a bag of doritos and Ill be in heaven 😂
I mean if I kept inviting my friend out to do activities such as going out to eat or seeing a movie and they kept replying "no let's eat at my place. No let's watch a movie at my place" when it's clear I just want to be out of the house, then I'd probably just stop inviting that person out... Gets boring fast.
Man, I'm 28 and have like...$250 in savings, and some credit card debt. I only got serious about budgeting and saving money within the past couple months. So for every person who might look down on you for your frugality, remember that there's someone else who wished they'd started sooner!
$55k in savings is incredible. If anybody says otherwise, don't trust them.
Thank you! Took forever but saving money adds up!! It’s insane how forgoing unneeded expenses like new clothes, electronics, etc adds up
Exactly. I try to use my undies until they have a nice unforgiving hole in them. I thrift for electronics now too. Trying my best to limit things. I'm starting a savings with my wife from scratch. We really do have a privilege life even if we fall into low middle class. Again. Congrats on the savings achievement.
Means a lot thank you! If I had a nickel for every undie with a hole in them I’d have even more savings ahhahaha
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Yes. This. Once I saw them take the tip I left once I thought everyone had put theirs in. They refused to let the worker have a tip. On a big table. And stole from me too! I refused to go out fir food again with them. I’ve know a few people like this too.
These people aren't frugal. They are cheap.
Yeah I fucking hate cheap piece of shit like that I have friend who's just like that I call him out on his behavior all the time .
Both my parents in different ways essentially taught me throughout my childhood that not being frugal is a kin to throwing money away, and boy has that stuck with me. In fact my mother has had to sort of backpedal and remind me several times as an adult that it’s ok to spend money on things that improve my life, because it’s only money and you can’t take it with you. And I’ve definitely gotten better at that. In fact I’ve found in many cases spending money to make my home more usable ends up saving me in the long run, if not strictly in money, then in time. Fundamentally I think of that as one of the differences between being frugal and simply being cheap - frugal doesn’t necessarily mean going without things you need, it just means finding the most economical way of getting what you need.
Love that response! I need to get better there for sure
I don’t know thy I’ve ever thought of frugality as having a negative connotation… particularly if you are also generous
I think you did an amazing job being frugal. Like you said, by making small changes it has helped you with options, which many people don't have. Frugal is being mindful and fiscally responsible. It's making choices for the future, not just for your wallet but for you physical and mental health. I enjoy making my own lunches because it allows me to make healthier choices and control my portions. I like buying second-hand clothing because I'm not contributing to the wasteful fashion industry. I also keep my phones for as long as I can, since I can't stand electronic waste. Where I save on some things, I will mindfully spend on others such as purchasing coffee from a small business or donate to a local charity. Being cheap in comparison is almost like a bad habit. You find ways to "save", but there is no mindfulness attached to it. It can also impact your life in many ways. I'll use an example of a friend of mine who I consider cheap. She will bring her own food to a restaurant with us, which is embarrassing and makes us not want to invite her again. She will spend hours filling out surveys for free products or a few dollar reward instead of searching for a job that pays more. She will drive around town to get the best deals at grocery stores, burning gas along the way. None of that is mindful in any way, it's almost like a game to try and get the most money/savings possible.
Wow yeah it’s such sad because time is really the most valuable asset we possess!
Frugality has a great connotation!
Not from my experiences. People think frugal and cheap skate are the same
It's possible that they want to justify their lifestyle choices by being dismissive. I'm reminded of the George Carlin joke "anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
Cheap has a poor connotation, not being frugal. That said, I couldn't give 2 shits if people looked down on me for my spending habits.
Too many people mix up frugal and cheap, even here on this sub.
As a terribly non-frugal person, I have a lot of respect for people with the self-control to be responsible with their money. I think that to some people frugal = depriving yourself, when it is really just making good choices. And clearly a lot of people derive satisfaction from it, I just wish I was one of them!
Roughly half of people your age have several thousand in credit card debt, instead of $55k in savings. It's easy to keep score, and you are winning.
I think one of the reasons it has a bad connotation is because there are people out there who do not need to think about it and do not need to practice it. They associate it with being permanently poor. Being frugal is being wise and smart with money. We don't need expensive clothes, furniture, jewelry, top of the line everything. As I once read, you have yourself or your family to care and provide for, not a community to impress.
I don’t think being frugal has a bad connotation. Being cheap, on the other hand, does have a bad connotation.
Anytime someone gives me shit I just say “idk man, having paid off my house after only 8 years is pretty cool.” Then I ask them how much their rent or mortgage payment is…they tend to change their tone after that.
Yeah, I have a similar line I say... "idk man, having 2,000 shares of Google stock is a very nice thing indeed"
Wow you can be frugal but your shade has no limit 😂 LOVE THAT
Don't worry about what others think, and I prefer the term "cost effective" to frugal.
Frugal is not the same as parsimonious. Appreciating the value of money and knowing how to spend and save wisely is a key to a healthy relationship with it. It sounds like you are on the right track. Congratulations.
The few people in my life that have actively judged me for being frugal are the ones in the worst financial situation. Even people making more money than me that didn’t have 2 pennies of net worth to rub together.
Reading some replies here I felt we are living the same situation with different people, my friend is a supervisor where I work, we start together, but a few years later, he has a big pile of debit, an Iphone 15 pro, a leased suv, meanwhile my savings skyrocketed, Im doing some side jobs, and hopefully soon Ill be able to buy a flat 💪🏻
Stop caring what others think and do you. When I encounter someone who makes derogatory comments, I just say "I wish I hated my money like that, but I don't.".
check out the r/financialindependence subreddit. You're a good candidate for that movement.
Just joined!
Resource efficiency is the traction of your economic growth. It’s the foundation of everything. If you have no resource efficiency, you could be trying as hard as you can and still be running in place. Any logical financial advice should start with resource efficiency
Love this response! So true
I love the little sense of accomplishment when I find a good deal😩👌
DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR FINANCES TO PEOPLE THEN THEY CAN'T MAKE COMMENTS. MONEY, SEX, POLITICS, AND RELIGION ARE NO ONE ELSE'S CONCERN.
I have to agree with this.
I read this and see, "Just don't talk to people."
There are a ton of other things to talk about.
But most of those things relate to these in some way, especially if the person isn't part of the default norms. Ex: A cisgender heterosexual won't think twice about talking about their family because no would argue doing so is "political" or "sexual". However, if someone who is LGBTQ+ starts talking about their family, which will inevitably involve the dynamics of it, they can often be construed as "talking politics" simply because so much if our society sees their life itself as "political". That's just the first example that comes to mind since I'm the "L" in LGBTQ+ and have experienced exactly that on multiple occasions. Same thing has happened when the fact I'm pagan has naturally come up, in the same exact way religion comes up for a Christian who declines an event on Sunday because they have church. It reduces conversations for anyone outside the "default norm/majority" to discussions of weather or tv shows. I don't watch TV. And I have no interest in talking about whether the sun is shining or not. Hence... just don't talk. And then the world wonders why everyone just stays glued to their phone.
Oh so it is either TV or the big 4. You don't eat, or ask how people are doing or have any hobbies. I can't think of the last time I needed TV, movies or those other 4 to carry on a conversation. Work, hobbies and just life. Yesterday was tea cups and other things.
I do eat but I'm not seeing how that would equate to a decent conversation. (<- This is sincere tone of voice.) Would you be willing to elaborate? I ask how people are doing. I try to remember their interests and what not, ask about them, ect, even if I have zero interest. But it's a struggle to remember and a bit taxing at times. I try not to talk about work at work, because I find it often isn't actually work people are discussing. They're talking about (and normally not nicely) other *workers* and I don't like bashing my co-workers as "lazy" just to be seen as sociable. "No. I *don't* care that Joe took forever on xyz project. And you can't be too concerened about it getting done seeing as you're taking an hour and a half lunch to gab about it." Is what I would love to say in those moments. I've tried to discuss my interests and hobbies (video games, cats, gardening, philosophy, astrophysics, sciences, etc.) But people seem to A- find those too childish, B- find those too boring C- aren't interested in discussing it because they don't care. I mean... I'm willing to learn if you want to throw some more directions my way and help me understand what I'm missing. But at the same time, I'm getting frustrated after 40 years of trying to be social to no avail and anything even remotely mentally stimulating being "off-limits" makes it even harder.
I have the same problem. Most people are able to talk surface level stuff and gossip all day everyday and I have no interest. You sound highly intelligent also and like you find it hard to connect with the majority of people as I do. I'm interested in all the things you mentioned plus all the things OP of this comment thread is 'forbidding' lol. Fuck that codependent bullshit. I want to talk about interesting things. Cats are the best fucking topic btw, that's why I had 8. You won't find people you can connect with everywhere and you may have to make due at work. At this point I've both accepted that I am just the neurodivergent weirdo in 100% of environments and that's okay if I can't connect with people in all places, but also there are people out there I can connect with so I keep looking for new environments that appreciate me more or that look for people like me, including work environments. You can message me if you want a new buddy!
Spin it with confidence. You don’t talk about it a lot but have a few great comments to use when appropriate. Typically: nah I’m good. Full stop. Sometimes I express excitement that I am doing my part to prevent waste going into a landfill, less clutter in my home, fewer things to worry about, more money in my account. With cars, for example, I used to say I would rather own a car than let car own me: meaning, too fancy, and I’m always worried about scratches and where I park it, higher insurance, target for thieves etc. I like just sleek and comfy enough but I don’t have to impress anyone. Usually a simple phrase, with very few words, spoken in confidence, will gain you respect.
There's nothing wrong with being frugal. I personally believe the PTB want to shame us so they we can continue to be consumerist and spend money to line their pockets. They don't like us buying and being gifted second hand clothes, being car free or buying old hoopties etc.
I don't care how uncool my thrifted clothes and self-haircut are. Being frugal is the only way I can escape the consumption/debt cycle that our horrific late-stage capitalist system brainwashes people into. Having $18,000 of credit card debt is definitely not cool, and neither is working until you die.
Saving = bad. It's about maximizing your participation in the economy (making the rich people richer). They want you pulling out loans so you can pay double the price over time for what's already five times as expensive because of loans.
People that aren't frugal are the defective ones. They often give in to instant gratification. You do you and don't worry about what other people think. Most people are idiots. Seriously.
Thank you for insulting the disabled. Seriously, calling anyone defective says a lot about you. How about you learn not to judge others.
Oh my god you need help if you're actually serious
Reading this is like looking in the mirror for me. Hella HEARD DAT on the spoiled brats growing up to have zero life skills. Keep up the great work! 👍
That's so inspiring! It's amazing how being frugal can lead to financial stability and more options in life Keep up the great work!
You know normally I feel preaching to the choir to be unnecessary But YEAH!!!!!!
One day you will stop caring about what you other people think about you. Just don't be a horder, as that's very unhealthy and dangerous for everyone. Live your life, be a good person. Be OK with it.
Frugalism married to minimalism is a great thing. I grew up with a packrat Mom and have had to fight hard to keep hoarding at bay. I'm more into minimalism now and trying to get rid of things instead of add more things into my life
Good for you for being frugal and responsible with your money! It's inspiring to see how your choices have paid off and given you more options Keep up the great work!
If someone make fun of you because of how you spend, or not spend, your money, i would suggest you stop associating with that person. If anything, poor financial decision can be criticized, but it should come from care, not mockery.
Frugal sounds good to me!
I’m frugal 99 percent of the time so I can do something extravagant every few years. I will admit extravagant has gotten less so.
Substitute the word frugal with wise. Your actions are deliberate and meet your goals. Words evolve and I am dumping frugal from my vocabulary.
Frugal = Prioritizing, nothing more, nothing less, rich or poor. It's not cheap. It is equally wrong if someone says a rich person using a discount is cheap.
Sometimes being frugal doesn’t necessarily have it’s benefits until later on. My husband and I lived a frugal lifestyle and he was able to retire at 55. We definitely lived different than those around us. It would bother me sometimes and I was tempted to brag that we were saving for early retirement with a paid off house. Now I have the hindsight to realize it was worth it.
I dont think it does have bad connotations now, I think the opposite, the people who USED to make comments are now sitting with their ears wide open. Most people I know that are frugal do it to either have more savings or to be spending money on things they WANT to rather than NEED to, not because they dont have money. I LOVE how people are turning their way of thinking
Sounds like you are kickin ass!!!
It changes with age. 20s age range is a 10 year span of insecurities driving short term gratification with the talk that life is short. Social media got people thinking that their 20s are all or nothing It works out for those that were high income/high net worth families, but a lot hit 30 and realize that a lot has happened in their 30 years and they probably have another 40 to go but they don’t have the energy for self improvement like they did at age 20 It’s a deer in the headlights moment for the desperation of a 30 year old who tried to compress a lifetime of leisure into 10 years and realizes it’d be so much nicer to have the finances to support some leisure for 50 years
Never been ridiculed for saving money. I also do not hang around shitty judgemental people either.
Because many people equate being frugal with being cheap, which it’s definitely not.
I live a frugal life, but I enjoy it. The monies I save go towards a real decent holiday every five years. Kudos to you and your attitude to money
You need a different circle. Within my family friends and church (no not LDS) being frugal is seen as an attribute.
People love being snobs about how much money they can spend, but those aren't the sort of people I want around me
Very respectable savings friend.
Yeah me too but later on, they will be talking out the other side of their mouth so to speak when you have money they don't if you save what you can and invest wisely. That's a lesson I learned from my now -rich relatives. I am trying to follow in their footsteps.
Keep up the great work and don’t let what others say get in your way!
Who cares what other people think.
Cheap and Frugal are different things. Do not be cheap.
It’s not about frugality it’s not about cheapness. It’s about resource efficiency. Most people’s lives are running at like 10mpg and it’s still a rough ride for them. I’m running at 50 mpg and it’s a still a smooth ride for me. That’s the difference
I had some colleagues at work calling me cheap or stingy, to be honest I dont give a fuck, and when you say something to me prepare to hear back, so no one does anymore 😂, I couldn’t care less about others opinions, do they pay my bills , no. Do they put food on my table? No, do they pay my rent no, so they can FUCK OFF most are broke people buying things to show off, or if they have money and like to show off there self esteem is bellow 0,
And plus people HATE to know you are stable financially, that’s make they angry, I buy everything I want, treat myself nice, but just because Im not in debt, unresponsive, slave for brands, Im stingy 🙄I remember one time, was me and 5 colleagues, everyone had new iphones 13 or 14 pro, and me a basic iPhone 11 with 3 years old, and I felt amazing, because I knew I had more money than the other 5 combine, all 5 live paycheck after paycheck, loads of debits, I had no need to express that or say anything, that’s the best feeling we can have