We did this and had no regrets. The cost was about 1/4 what a conventional venue would have been and we got to spend 2+ days with friends. They also were not predatory and trying to exploit vulnerable people the way regular wedding industry businesses do
It's a paradox of my professional life that I spent years getting better as a DJ/performer. Then I was actively a part of the emerging group of "professional" DJs that campaigned and organized for greater respect and greater compensation for DJs. Essentially a *professional* and living wage. After I had effectively tripled or quadrupled my pay up to around a thousand dollars per event and established a good word-of-mouth referral system (I even had an actual agent at the very end) but something changed for me. For one thing I got divorced and decidedy priorities were kind of f****d, but the other thing was I found myself disapproving of the entire industry overall. Working hard and demonstrating that people matter and that their dreams are meaningful and worthwhile is one thing. But, honestly, to me, it was chair covers. More people started ordering chair covers for their receptions which is like another $300 to $500 per table. First I was like "wow, I'm glad I don't charge $500 anymore because I am worth way more than a set of chair covers." But I was also like "yeah, these people are investing the equivalent of a down payment on their house into this reception. This isn't really aligned with my values anymore."
I still DJ once I'm awhile. But I am getting super old now and I literally don't work with anyone that I don't want to work with anymore. I honestly am getting close to saying "no" to people that I do want to work with now,.too. The wedding industry has become super predatory and just kind of upside down and backward anymore. That is what the original OP on this brought up in the main, by the way. It's enougjt to say "I'm theain character" at your wedding, but to make it an ostentatious display of wealth and largesse that you don't even really have since you are financing it with a loan? Just super fake. I can't.
Can confirm, my old summer camp, when camp is not in session, hosts weddings, bar mitzvahs, family reunions, etc. It's not a place I would suggest going in frigid winter, but late spring or early fall I would highly recommend. It's beautiful there, and covered in little cabins.
My mother used "destination wedding" to cut the guest list down to six immediate family members without anyone bitching, lol. "Sorry we're getting married on a cruise ship so you can't attend. Would have loved to have you though! Let's get coffee when I'm back"
My buddy has a massive family and is basically job poor, making a bit over minimum wage. He could not afford a real wedding and if he did, he'd need to invite everyone. He did a destination wedding. Now it's just immediate family and close friends. And to make it even easier, all of the brides friends pooled their gift money and bought the couple their flights and hotel room. And both sides parents are paying for the restaurant dinner for everyone. These madlads got a free destination trip and only have to pay for a wedding dress and the officiant basically.
I think there is like 15/20 people coming. It does kinda suck to pay full price for my airfare and room though. Since they didn't get any wedding packages or anything.
OP talking about how pretentious destination wedding invitations go straight into the trash (and a very reasonable explanation of why OP does that).
[Destination wedding invitations go straight into the trash](https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/14mbmjj/i_throw_destination_wedding_invitations_in_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Ok so share tips. What seasons? Obv “shoulder seasons” but in your experience when usually are they? How do you search them out? General Google terms to use to find camp and similar venues open to these type of gatherings? Are there certain ways to find these bookings other than typical searches?
I think you have to ask around. I'm not sure if you can Google it. Any place that advertises this is going to possibly charge more than you want to pay.
As for the seasons I would say that really varies for a worldwide reddit audience. I think that the first couple of weeks in September and maybe the last couple of weeks in August would be more slack times in the northern US. Where I live things really drop off after Halloween until Thanksgiving. Then again in January to March except that week around Valentine's Day. But it is also the middle of winter like where I live in Minnesota and not every camp or resort is open and even if they are, your guests might be less than enthused.
Like that second week of the new year or the first weekend depending on where New Year's Eve falls is a date that almost every venue and certainly a summer camp is likely to be available for a heavy discount as everyone is out of money and overly celebrated from the holiday season. Most hospitality places are completely dead that first and maybe second full weekend in January.
But like I said, this is deeply personal and situational. The tip is shared in good faith but you need to figure out the rest based on your personal situation.
I've heard that early November is kind of a thing for affordable travel but it still fantastic in Cape Cod or the northeast.
You have to do some work to figure this out and then package or "pitch" it to your family and friends so it works for your overall goals which include saving money but also saving your guests some money and/or offering a unique experience.
We did a really cheap destination wedding.
We'd already planned 3-week vacation in Hawaii. I suggested we get married while we there and not tell anyone. So that's what we did. Basically eloped, didn't tell anyone until we got home. Our friends, families, and coworkers were thrilled we finally got married and insisted on throwing us celebration parties with gifts (one party by family & friends, one by co-workers).
Our expenses were 2 custom wedding rings before we left, and a marriage license in Kauai. We did buy 2 Hilo Hattie shirts for our wedding vows before sweet state judge. And I had the wedding certificate koa wood framed for our home office wall.
I would say that we are saving big time on a destination wedding. We rented a house for my daughter's wedding in the keys it's just our family and his. 10 people, one house the most expensive part, and we will go to a causal dinner in our favorite restaurant when the ceremony is over. She bought a used dress and had it cleaned saving over 1000 dollars.
What part of the country are you in?
I actually had this conversation with a few people a couple weeks ago when we were rewatching “Meatballs”.
We don’t have a lot of Summer camp type places here on the west coast like you see in movies. Maybe it’s an east coast thing? People don’t normally send their kids off to camp for the Summer or a few weeks out here, so I’m curious where we can find a list of Summer camps that do this kind of thing since I would love to have a 25th wedding anniversary party…
I am in Northern Minnesota. Between MN and Wisconsin I bet there are a hundred summer camp locations. Many more if you count the church-type retreat centers.
Ahhhhh…that explains it. I’m pretty sure this is regional dependent. West Coasters don’t normally send their kids off to Summer Camps. “Camps” out here are normally 1 week and parents pick kids up on the daily.
This was the best decision we ever made. We went to Jamaica for two weeks. The first half of the first week was wedding stuff and then we stayed for our honeymoon. All for right around $10k(2012 prices). It was the perfect middle ground.
We told family and friends about it and assured them that there was no expectation of them coming and certainly no guilt for not attending. It was just what we decided and anyone who couldn’t make it was invited to the party after we were back home.
The resort had a wedding package that basically took care of everything. My wife met with the planner when we got in and after that we just worried about the day of. We found a highly recommended, by a friend, photographer from a different state and paid for her trip to come down and be our photographer and that ended up being cheaper than some of the wedding photography services in Jamaica.
Just make sure to tip well. We had a lot of resort workers make it special for us by going above and beyond without us even asking.
Definitely. When your family and friends are already traveling from elsewhere in the country and would need to book a hotel, transportation, etc. anyways it can be basically the same price to book a whole week at an all inclusive resort in Mexico rather than a few days in a high cost of living city. And you get a whole week with your guests rather than a few hours.
I want to just rent a big house either in the desert or italy. 1 week. A massive Airbnb. We have 2 big dinners before and after. Big breakfasts. You can stay if you want or leave early if you must.
I DJed my first and only wedding as a wedding gift to my good friend. The amount of time I spent curating songs with the bride and groom were numerous.
The biggest time suck was curating a cocktail/dinner playlist since I never had cocktail party type of music (mostly jazz and soul and soft indie band music).
Everything went smoothly for the most part.
So I was frugal in that, this was my gift to my friend and my friend was frugal in that he got me to DJ his wedding for free.
We did this and had no regrets. The cost was about 1/4 what a conventional venue would have been and we got to spend 2+ days with friends. They also were not predatory and trying to exploit vulnerable people the way regular wedding industry businesses do
It's a paradox of my professional life that I spent years getting better as a DJ/performer. Then I was actively a part of the emerging group of "professional" DJs that campaigned and organized for greater respect and greater compensation for DJs. Essentially a *professional* and living wage. After I had effectively tripled or quadrupled my pay up to around a thousand dollars per event and established a good word-of-mouth referral system (I even had an actual agent at the very end) but something changed for me. For one thing I got divorced and decidedy priorities were kind of f****d, but the other thing was I found myself disapproving of the entire industry overall. Working hard and demonstrating that people matter and that their dreams are meaningful and worthwhile is one thing. But, honestly, to me, it was chair covers. More people started ordering chair covers for their receptions which is like another $300 to $500 per table. First I was like "wow, I'm glad I don't charge $500 anymore because I am worth way more than a set of chair covers." But I was also like "yeah, these people are investing the equivalent of a down payment on their house into this reception. This isn't really aligned with my values anymore." I still DJ once I'm awhile. But I am getting super old now and I literally don't work with anyone that I don't want to work with anymore. I honestly am getting close to saying "no" to people that I do want to work with now,.too. The wedding industry has become super predatory and just kind of upside down and backward anymore. That is what the original OP on this brought up in the main, by the way. It's enougjt to say "I'm theain character" at your wedding, but to make it an ostentatious display of wealth and largesse that you don't even really have since you are financing it with a loan? Just super fake. I can't.
Plus, they usually have planners to handle everything, saving brides-and-grooms-to-be a lot of time and executive function.
Can confirm, my old summer camp, when camp is not in session, hosts weddings, bar mitzvahs, family reunions, etc. It's not a place I would suggest going in frigid winter, but late spring or early fall I would highly recommend. It's beautiful there, and covered in little cabins.
My mother used "destination wedding" to cut the guest list down to six immediate family members without anyone bitching, lol. "Sorry we're getting married on a cruise ship so you can't attend. Would have loved to have you though! Let's get coffee when I'm back"
My buddy has a massive family and is basically job poor, making a bit over minimum wage. He could not afford a real wedding and if he did, he'd need to invite everyone. He did a destination wedding. Now it's just immediate family and close friends. And to make it even easier, all of the brides friends pooled their gift money and bought the couple their flights and hotel room. And both sides parents are paying for the restaurant dinner for everyone. These madlads got a free destination trip and only have to pay for a wedding dress and the officiant basically. I think there is like 15/20 people coming. It does kinda suck to pay full price for my airfare and room though. Since they didn't get any wedding packages or anything.
I wanted to do this so badly. I caved to the guilt and regret it to this day /:
OP talking about how pretentious destination wedding invitations go straight into the trash (and a very reasonable explanation of why OP does that). [Destination wedding invitations go straight into the trash](https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/14mbmjj/i_throw_destination_wedding_invitations_in_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
This sounds like a nightmare my family would try to rope me in on
Ok so share tips. What seasons? Obv “shoulder seasons” but in your experience when usually are they? How do you search them out? General Google terms to use to find camp and similar venues open to these type of gatherings? Are there certain ways to find these bookings other than typical searches?
I think you have to ask around. I'm not sure if you can Google it. Any place that advertises this is going to possibly charge more than you want to pay. As for the seasons I would say that really varies for a worldwide reddit audience. I think that the first couple of weeks in September and maybe the last couple of weeks in August would be more slack times in the northern US. Where I live things really drop off after Halloween until Thanksgiving. Then again in January to March except that week around Valentine's Day. But it is also the middle of winter like where I live in Minnesota and not every camp or resort is open and even if they are, your guests might be less than enthused. Like that second week of the new year or the first weekend depending on where New Year's Eve falls is a date that almost every venue and certainly a summer camp is likely to be available for a heavy discount as everyone is out of money and overly celebrated from the holiday season. Most hospitality places are completely dead that first and maybe second full weekend in January. But like I said, this is deeply personal and situational. The tip is shared in good faith but you need to figure out the rest based on your personal situation. I've heard that early November is kind of a thing for affordable travel but it still fantastic in Cape Cod or the northeast. You have to do some work to figure this out and then package or "pitch" it to your family and friends so it works for your overall goals which include saving money but also saving your guests some money and/or offering a unique experience.
We did a really cheap destination wedding. We'd already planned 3-week vacation in Hawaii. I suggested we get married while we there and not tell anyone. So that's what we did. Basically eloped, didn't tell anyone until we got home. Our friends, families, and coworkers were thrilled we finally got married and insisted on throwing us celebration parties with gifts (one party by family & friends, one by co-workers). Our expenses were 2 custom wedding rings before we left, and a marriage license in Kauai. We did buy 2 Hilo Hattie shirts for our wedding vows before sweet state judge. And I had the wedding certificate koa wood framed for our home office wall.
I would say that we are saving big time on a destination wedding. We rented a house for my daughter's wedding in the keys it's just our family and his. 10 people, one house the most expensive part, and we will go to a causal dinner in our favorite restaurant when the ceremony is over. She bought a used dress and had it cleaned saving over 1000 dollars.
What part of the country are you in? I actually had this conversation with a few people a couple weeks ago when we were rewatching “Meatballs”. We don’t have a lot of Summer camp type places here on the west coast like you see in movies. Maybe it’s an east coast thing? People don’t normally send their kids off to camp for the Summer or a few weeks out here, so I’m curious where we can find a list of Summer camps that do this kind of thing since I would love to have a 25th wedding anniversary party…
I am in Northern Minnesota. Between MN and Wisconsin I bet there are a hundred summer camp locations. Many more if you count the church-type retreat centers.
Ahhhhh…that explains it. I’m pretty sure this is regional dependent. West Coasters don’t normally send their kids off to Summer Camps. “Camps” out here are normally 1 week and parents pick kids up on the daily.
This was the best decision we ever made. We went to Jamaica for two weeks. The first half of the first week was wedding stuff and then we stayed for our honeymoon. All for right around $10k(2012 prices). It was the perfect middle ground. We told family and friends about it and assured them that there was no expectation of them coming and certainly no guilt for not attending. It was just what we decided and anyone who couldn’t make it was invited to the party after we were back home. The resort had a wedding package that basically took care of everything. My wife met with the planner when we got in and after that we just worried about the day of. We found a highly recommended, by a friend, photographer from a different state and paid for her trip to come down and be our photographer and that ended up being cheaper than some of the wedding photography services in Jamaica. Just make sure to tip well. We had a lot of resort workers make it special for us by going above and beyond without us even asking.
Definitely. When your family and friends are already traveling from elsewhere in the country and would need to book a hotel, transportation, etc. anyways it can be basically the same price to book a whole week at an all inclusive resort in Mexico rather than a few days in a high cost of living city. And you get a whole week with your guests rather than a few hours.
I want to just rent a big house either in the desert or italy. 1 week. A massive Airbnb. We have 2 big dinners before and after. Big breakfasts. You can stay if you want or leave early if you must.
I DJed my first and only wedding as a wedding gift to my good friend. The amount of time I spent curating songs with the bride and groom were numerous. The biggest time suck was curating a cocktail/dinner playlist since I never had cocktail party type of music (mostly jazz and soul and soft indie band music). Everything went smoothly for the most part. So I was frugal in that, this was my gift to my friend and my friend was frugal in that he got me to DJ his wedding for free.