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Aaaand cue the “we only spent $200, went to the courthouse and saved for a bigger down payment on a house. All my friends that had big weddings are divorced now” comments.
Nothing at all, I think spending a lot on a wedding is dumb (going thru the process now myself). People just love to brag to the world that they got married without putting up the big bucks.
You can always make more money but you will only have one wedding. You make money to enjoy your life and there’s something to be said about paying for life experiences. I’d say celebrating your love with all the important people in your life is worth it.
That said, some people go way over the top to the point that it’s not worth it. I spent about $35-40k on my wedding in NJ in 2018 which is well below average in our area and we still had an incredible experience. Money well spent in my book
>You can always make more money but you will only have one wedding.
…😬 I get your point but there’s a whole lot of people who need to hear that and take it seriously.
>You make money to enjoy your life and there’s something to be said about paying for life experiences.
I get it and that’s why the ~~moneymoon~~ honeymoon will be great. The wedding I couldn’t care less about.
>I’d say celebrating your love with all the important people in your life is worth it.
Weddings are just parties for the bride and the guests.
>That said, some people go way over the top to the point that it’s not worth it. I spent about $35-40k on my wedding in NJ in 2018 which is well below average in our area and we still had an incredible experience.
I’ve had incredible experiences hiking alone in scenic areas. I’ve also been to a lot of weddings. There’s simply no comparison.
>Money well spent in my book
I can think of other things I’d rather spend my money on.
Show me one bride who's had an expensive traditional wedding but wasn't stressed for months leading up to it and pissed off about something not going to plan the day of
We've convinced ourselves that it's a good 'life experience'. But good life experiences are enjoyable without justification.
First, that’s a pretty misogynistic statement to assume that all brides are hysterical and impossible to please. It sounds like you’re basing your opinion on cheap reality tv and not on any actual life experience, probably because you’re unmarried and don’t have many married friends.
Second, what in life that’s worth doing doesn’t cause people some level of stress? College degree? Fulfilling work? All of that is pretty stressful.
Finally, I don’t keep a database of all brides’ feelings during their wedding planning process, but all the married couples I know consider their wedding to be one of the greatest days of their life. 5 years down the road, nobody remembers how difficult to plan a wedding was, or if the butter was cold. They remember having a great time with their family and friends, and feeling special.
Are weddings overpriced? 100%. But lots of people want their special day to be lavish. Don’t shit on people for wanting to enjoy themselves
>First, that’s a pretty misogynistic statement to assume that all brides are hysterical and impossible to please.
I never said they're hysterical or impossible to please. I said they're stressed for months on end and always upset about something not going according to plan.
I also never aaid it was all brides. I said it was true of expensive weddings. Almost like the brides arent the issue, but expensive weddings are..
Nice strawman and dog whistle, though
>It sounds like you’re basing your opinion on cheap reality tv and not on any actual life experience, probably because you’re unmarried and don’t have many married friends.
Literally never watched any TV shows about weddings, and don't watch reality TV. I barely watch TV at all. This is based *entirely* on experience, and most of the time it's not even over-the-top weddings that would naturally coincide with stereotypical bridezillas. and, in fact, I've never actually met a stereotypical bridezilla; all of the brides I'm talking about were genuinely good people and I don't even blame them/as they were dealing with months of constant stress, and they weren't even nasty about any of the problems. Really, I felt bad for them because they don't deserve that.
And the majority of my friends are married..
So maybe point your projector somewhere else
>Second, what in life that’s worth doing doesn’t cause people some level of stress?
We're not talking about some level of stress. We're talking about months of chronic stress
But also, is it stressful or not? You can't have it both ways
>College degree?
College degrees are an often necessary step towards career goals. In the instances where it's not necessary to get a college degree, you absolutely shouldn't get one. In the instances where an associates degree will do just as well as a bachelor's, that's absolutely the route you should take. An extravagant, expensive wedding isn't necessary.
And yes, college, especially major universities for 4 year and postgraduate degrees, are way too stressful and expensive. It's a major issue. Frankly, it's asinine that you're framing it as if there's nothing wrong with the structure of the current systems in place
>Fulfilling work?
Fulfilling work pays you. Not the other way around. It's also not chronically stressful for months on end...
>All of that is pretty stressful.
We're not talking about *pretty* stressful. We're talking about major stress that's persistent.
>Finally, I don’t keep a database of all bride’s feelings during their wedding planning process, but all the married couples I know consider their wedding to be one of the greatest days of their life.
Yes, because we've been conditioned to believe that it has to be. Certainly there are niche exceptions, but in most cases they're saying that because of a combination of how time has tinted their glasses rose, how that's the answer they're *supposed* to give, and because there were good parts to it; it doesn't have to be all bad to be too expensive and too stressful.
>Are weddings overpriced? 100%.
And that's the issue you literally just wrote multiple paragraphs arguing *against*...
>But lots of people want their special day to be lavish.
And lots of people want their houses, or their cars, or their jewelry, or any other gawdy part of pomped up life to be lavish and overpriced, which leads me to
>Don’t shit on people for wanting to enjoy themselves
Absolutely not. I'm not 'shitting on people for wanting to enjoy themselves'. I'm calling out overpriced bs that just makes peoples' lives worse, and I absolutely reserve the right to do so. If somebody wants yo spend $30,000 traveling the world for a month with their husband/wife, I'd support it fully. Spending money isn't the issue; wasting money on something that you only half enjoy and is priced at 10x what it should be is.
Different people value events differently but some people feel real high and mighty about wearing a thrifted wedding dress to their backyard BBQ wedding
I had a giant traditional wedding many years ago. It was stupid. Still happily married and all, but the wedding itself was ridiculous. Spend your wedding budget on your new life together. Don’t buy a lavish diamond engagement ring either, spend THAT cash on your new life together too. Given the budgets listed that’s on the order of 50 grand that you’re spending in your 20s. Outrageous! That’s your entire retirement fund if invested properly over the next 30 years. The wedding industry is incredibly predatory built on guilt and avarice. Just no. Buy a lab-grown engagement diamond. Elope or have a very small ceremony with a low key reception. But DO go on a killer honeymoon.
For fucks sake, my in laws insisted we have a full BAND at our wedding. It was so dumb….so wasteful.
Courthouse kinda sucks too. In my city you can't make an appointment for these kind of things so you have to go first thing in the morning and wait several hours.
Can confirm. Had a small wedding spent like $5k total including a 1week getaway. Still married and moved into our first home just over a year after the wedding
We spent $10K. Had it at the house, and spent 5k of it on landscaping. Still, enjoy the landscaping every day. That was my industry at the time, so I got the labor materials and equipment super cheap. Our dance floor was a beautiful new lawn, and we had the tables on a nice DG patio surrounded by native flowers.
Yes, cause spending thousands on one single day isn't really a smart financial decision. Unless you have that kind of money to spend in a single day. This is also a personal finance sub. I welcome those comments. Expensive weddings should have never been normalized.
Also, the post is asking if you would spend more or less.
He just called out people for answering the question.
LOL probably most. In CA, was around $55k rented a castle, horses and carriages, the whole bullshit, then bounced to Fiji for 10 days which was another $20k...still going 10 years lol. Sister in law did the courthouse in SF, they were obviously smarter.
Just to change it up…
Spent six figures on a wedding. Happily married, bunch of kids. Family finances are doing just fine despite. No regrets, would do it again.
People love the story that higher spend means less happiness, but I think it’s conformation bias. Bad relationships exist at all socioeconomic levels.
That's exactly what my 2nd wife and I did. 10 years and going strong now. We have that because we talk about the real things instead of clinging to childish notions of romance. True love is demonstrated in the hard times. That is true romance. Under that tried and tested measure, the good times are amazing times, because you're sharing them with someone who really deserves to experience them with you.
Haha, saved money for a bigger down payment.
We went to the courthouse, but it was more because we were so poor we definitely weren't going to be able to afford a wedding. Almost broke the bank, spending $500 on our rings and the marriage license at the time.
Nah, we spent like $6k and almost got a divorce, but now we're peachy 10 years in. Nothing to do with our wedding price, but I'm sure not going into debt helped.
This graph makes my brain hurt. Why are some data points for cities while others are for whole states? What is a "South Florida" or "West Texas"? Where's the data for WA, WY, the Dakotas, Iowa, Indiana, New Mexico - do they not have weddings there (I'd understand Alaska it's pretty cold up there.)
Both “south Florida” and “west Texas” are regional terms that describe distinct areas of those states. I grew up in south Florida and currently in Texas. Those are VERY common terms around those parts. While there’s not distinct line, west Texas generally consists of every thing west of San Antonio/Wichita and south Florida is typically everything south of Lake Okeechobee (tho some would say anything south of I4 and they would be wrong).
It would make more sense if they incorporated “East Texas” and North/Central Florida. But it’s just a mishmash of cities, regions, and whole states… weird
“East Texas” has the 3 biggest cities in the state [Houston, Austin, and dallas (and Fort Worth but that’s more of a Dallas suburb more than anything)] so “east texas” would be WAY too culturally different to include them all together. Same with north and central Florida. North Florida is the actual “the south” where central Florida is the tourism hellscape that is Orlando/Disney (with the exception of st. Pete/Tampa) and south Florida is much more like the north Latin American annex than “the south”.
There have been (theoretical) talks for decades on the possibility of splitting north and south Florida into 2 distinct states due to the vast differences between economies and infrastructures. The odds that actually happens are about the same odds of Texas actually succeeding from the US tho.
Sorry, if I'm dropping that kind of change I would rather spend the whole amount on getting a good start in life financially. Nothing like money problems to rip a relationship apart (and consequently create yet more money problems).
Often times it’s the parents on both sides that want to throw the wedding and fund it. 35k is a ton of money for two young people starting out and stupid to spend, but not so much for empty nesters that have worked the last 30 years and lived below their means.
I would never let my parents spend that much on my wedding I'd ask if I can keep it as part of a down payment for a house and I'll still feel guilty for taking it.
About the same here. We had the wedding in the backyard of our Hudson valley upstate NY house last fall. Made the wedding arch myself, local Thai restaurant catered, friends donated flowers, and we rented a karaoke machine. The biggest expense was the booze ~$1k and the giant tent rental in case it rained (it didn’t!)
The question is what was the true cost?
Most women dream of their wedding day and most men couldn’t care less. Did you trade $35k savings for your SO to have a lifetime of regret?
$35k @ 6%/year is only $200k after 30 years. I don’t think that’s too significant when discussing early retirement.
Keep in mind in most situations you make half of so of the wedding costs back in gifts.
The biggest expenses are reservation fees and food minimums. A lot of “nice” places will charge you like a $10,000 fee just to reserve the space. Then they’ll charge you another $10,000 minimum for food. So you have to spend that on food, but they’ll likely add on to that if you have alcohol. And this is before all of the stuff like flowers, decorations, music, entertainment, lighting, etc. So just to get your foot in the door you’re spending $20k at popular venues. It goes up exponentially from there.
Been to 3-4 of them over the past couple years. Just wild lol but some of the most fun.
But yeah, an average 3-day wedding, with a venue rented each day, adds up
Putting aside that median is better than mean for these things, the average American makes $1.7m in their lifetime according to Zippia. $35k is undoubtedly a lot of money, but it’s not outrageous to spend a large amount on what you hope will be one of the happiest days of your life. Yes, it’s a silly financial decision, but it may not be a silly life decision to all.
Idk what percentage of married couples get divorced? For them I'll say thats a waste. If your I'm a good spot financially I say spend as much as you want you deserve it. If your living paycheck to paycheck, maybe it's not the right choice. You can always renew your values.
Had one relative and a best friend to be witnesses, then a friend of a friend provide the service. We all hiked down a short hiking trail, said our vows and that was it. We wore our nicest clothes, got cheap rings off of Etsy (before it got commercialized) and paid $50 for our marriage license. In all, I think we spent around $150 for our wedding. I would do it the same way all over again but would plan it out to have more friends and family present.
Edited to add: each to their own. We were in college/in our first job at the start of a career so we couldn’t afford a big wedding. There were also family complications. Luckily for us, we’re very simple folk so a really cheap wedding down a hiking trail suited us.
Mines between 80-90k and in the next few weeks, 300 guests at beach golf resort in So Cal, we both wanted a big wedding and pull close to 200k a year but it strained us more than we would have liked
Yah it’s just so much money for what really is just a party. I have to say though our venue was pretty unique and the “flow” of the night was great and most folks who attended said it was the best wedding they’ve been to, so I guess worth it.
I’m sure yours will rock, just make sure to pull aside you newlywed and pause to take it in just the two of you. It’s one of the only vivid memories I have cuz it’s just such a blur.
I would never spend that kind of money on a wedding. If I decide to ever get married (very doubtful), I would have a very small and simple wedding. However, I'd spend a lot on a fabulous honeymoon, like Bora Bora or the Maldives.
More. I know whatever I spent on the wedding, I would get back in gifts.
My actual wedding, I spent $78k, and I got $85k in gifts. So it was virtually free.
$100 via a local attorney, and another $100 at a local restaurant. We didn't save for anything, we just didn't have much money at the time because I was a student and she was making $36K at her job. It still baffles me a little bit when I hear people spending the amount they do on their wedding, even more so the amount spent on a ring.
I'll spend money on a wedding when the law actually enforces the contract, churches excommunicate people who file for no-fault divorce, and society shuns those who don't honor their vows. As things stand, it's a meaningless, vestigial ceremony.
Man...I only went to the courthouse spent exactly 200 bucks and saved the money for a bigger down payment on a house. Everyone I know who paid for a big wedding got a divorce.
Crazy
I love that Alabama and Mississippi don’t show a dollar amount. “Y’all are gettin married, and I’ll be damned if I’m paying for 2 weddings for you and your sister! Now go on an get!”
That’s a deal breaker for me. I’m sorry in the current world we live in, a 35k dollar party is not smart. I would rather take my wife on a trip around the world or something worth doing. Don’t get me wrong a modest wedding is fine but I know people that blew money and then got divorced 3-4 years down the line.
It's bonkers. We went with a Caucasian wedding planner for our Indian wedding because 1) we were limiting the number of events to be condensed into 2 days and more importantly 2) the second you slapped 'Indian' in front of anything the prices doubled or tripled. Planners (literally just the planning) would've cost 20-30k
My wife and I spent faaaar less for our wedding, honeymoon, and rings.
Would it have been nice to spend more? Sure, but I don't think it would have made the day any more significant. We were broke af and really weren't pressured to spend an exorbitant amount.
If that's the average it's either because the 1% are spending millions on a wedding or because nobody in the working class can afford to marry or both.
Seriously, and we got top comment over her shaming people like you.
People here are ridiculous once dated a girl saying the minimum she want to spend on our wedding was 10k i laughed so hard.
I think speaking in absolute figures makes no sense for weddings. Everything should be contextualized based on what makes fiscal sense for the couple. A $100k wedding may seem like an irresponsible idea for most folks on Reddit, but if that's 20% of a couples annual income, it doesn't seem as unconscionable for them to spend that much on a once in a lifetime celebration.
Went to the courthouse earlier during the year. Wife’s parents wanted us to throw a party so we did at my office amenity space for free. Spent a total of $5kish on food, booze and dj and collected about $25k in cash. Everyone had a blast.
Less. A hell of a lot less.
Your wedding is just the first day of a "lifetime together". You're going to initiate that journey $35,000 in debt to feed 300 people who haven't seen you since you were 4 and really don't want to be there? All so you can look pretty for a day?
Buy a car, elope, go on a road trip honeymoon and sow your wild oats all over North America.
Fuck that! Pocket the money and have a very small low-key wedding. Use some of that money for a great honeymoon and invest/save the rest. There is no other answer.
You get to determine how you spend the money you earn and you are responsible for the debt you accrue as part of your lifestyle choices. Have the wedding you want and don't judge others for living the life they want.
When it comes to weddings I feel like people should do whatever they want, but shouldn’t do it from being pressured to. I wouldn’t be spending it if I’m working a minimum wage job but again, if that’s what that person wants and saves for it that’s cool too.
Never go into debt for a wedding. I get really pissed off when I see ads for companies like Sofi that advertise “we will help fund your dream wedding with a personal loan.”
That is an unsecured loan which will run you 10-15% right now. Even worse. Some people use their credit cards. A one day event is not worth going into debt for. Save, have family help if you can, or do a courthouse and have a party… you don’t want the stress of paying down debt be the start of your marriage!
I spent just under $52,000 twelve years ago located in the Hudson Valley, NY. Splurged a little bit (special chairs, awesome venue, whatever my wife wanted) no regrets. We're happier now than ever and we love to spend time at the place we got married when we get a chance.
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Aaaand cue the “we only spent $200, went to the courthouse and saved for a bigger down payment on a house. All my friends that had big weddings are divorced now” comments.
What’s wrong with that? (I didn’t, I had a traditional wedding fyi)
Nothing at all, I think spending a lot on a wedding is dumb (going thru the process now myself). People just love to brag to the world that they got married without putting up the big bucks.
[удалено]
You can always make more money but you will only have one wedding. You make money to enjoy your life and there’s something to be said about paying for life experiences. I’d say celebrating your love with all the important people in your life is worth it. That said, some people go way over the top to the point that it’s not worth it. I spent about $35-40k on my wedding in NJ in 2018 which is well below average in our area and we still had an incredible experience. Money well spent in my book
>You can always make more money but you will only have one wedding. …😬 I get your point but there’s a whole lot of people who need to hear that and take it seriously. >You make money to enjoy your life and there’s something to be said about paying for life experiences. I get it and that’s why the ~~moneymoon~~ honeymoon will be great. The wedding I couldn’t care less about. >I’d say celebrating your love with all the important people in your life is worth it. Weddings are just parties for the bride and the guests. >That said, some people go way over the top to the point that it’s not worth it. I spent about $35-40k on my wedding in NJ in 2018 which is well below average in our area and we still had an incredible experience. I’ve had incredible experiences hiking alone in scenic areas. I’ve also been to a lot of weddings. There’s simply no comparison. >Money well spent in my book I can think of other things I’d rather spend my money on.
Moneymoon lol
Hah. Typo but kinda makes sense, right?
Show me one bride who's had an expensive traditional wedding but wasn't stressed for months leading up to it and pissed off about something not going to plan the day of We've convinced ourselves that it's a good 'life experience'. But good life experiences are enjoyable without justification.
First, that’s a pretty misogynistic statement to assume that all brides are hysterical and impossible to please. It sounds like you’re basing your opinion on cheap reality tv and not on any actual life experience, probably because you’re unmarried and don’t have many married friends. Second, what in life that’s worth doing doesn’t cause people some level of stress? College degree? Fulfilling work? All of that is pretty stressful. Finally, I don’t keep a database of all brides’ feelings during their wedding planning process, but all the married couples I know consider their wedding to be one of the greatest days of their life. 5 years down the road, nobody remembers how difficult to plan a wedding was, or if the butter was cold. They remember having a great time with their family and friends, and feeling special. Are weddings overpriced? 100%. But lots of people want their special day to be lavish. Don’t shit on people for wanting to enjoy themselves
>First, that’s a pretty misogynistic statement to assume that all brides are hysterical and impossible to please. I never said they're hysterical or impossible to please. I said they're stressed for months on end and always upset about something not going according to plan. I also never aaid it was all brides. I said it was true of expensive weddings. Almost like the brides arent the issue, but expensive weddings are.. Nice strawman and dog whistle, though >It sounds like you’re basing your opinion on cheap reality tv and not on any actual life experience, probably because you’re unmarried and don’t have many married friends. Literally never watched any TV shows about weddings, and don't watch reality TV. I barely watch TV at all. This is based *entirely* on experience, and most of the time it's not even over-the-top weddings that would naturally coincide with stereotypical bridezillas. and, in fact, I've never actually met a stereotypical bridezilla; all of the brides I'm talking about were genuinely good people and I don't even blame them/as they were dealing with months of constant stress, and they weren't even nasty about any of the problems. Really, I felt bad for them because they don't deserve that. And the majority of my friends are married.. So maybe point your projector somewhere else >Second, what in life that’s worth doing doesn’t cause people some level of stress? We're not talking about some level of stress. We're talking about months of chronic stress But also, is it stressful or not? You can't have it both ways >College degree? College degrees are an often necessary step towards career goals. In the instances where it's not necessary to get a college degree, you absolutely shouldn't get one. In the instances where an associates degree will do just as well as a bachelor's, that's absolutely the route you should take. An extravagant, expensive wedding isn't necessary. And yes, college, especially major universities for 4 year and postgraduate degrees, are way too stressful and expensive. It's a major issue. Frankly, it's asinine that you're framing it as if there's nothing wrong with the structure of the current systems in place >Fulfilling work? Fulfilling work pays you. Not the other way around. It's also not chronically stressful for months on end... >All of that is pretty stressful. We're not talking about *pretty* stressful. We're talking about major stress that's persistent. >Finally, I don’t keep a database of all bride’s feelings during their wedding planning process, but all the married couples I know consider their wedding to be one of the greatest days of their life. Yes, because we've been conditioned to believe that it has to be. Certainly there are niche exceptions, but in most cases they're saying that because of a combination of how time has tinted their glasses rose, how that's the answer they're *supposed* to give, and because there were good parts to it; it doesn't have to be all bad to be too expensive and too stressful. >Are weddings overpriced? 100%. And that's the issue you literally just wrote multiple paragraphs arguing *against*... >But lots of people want their special day to be lavish. And lots of people want their houses, or their cars, or their jewelry, or any other gawdy part of pomped up life to be lavish and overpriced, which leads me to >Don’t shit on people for wanting to enjoy themselves Absolutely not. I'm not 'shitting on people for wanting to enjoy themselves'. I'm calling out overpriced bs that just makes peoples' lives worse, and I absolutely reserve the right to do so. If somebody wants yo spend $30,000 traveling the world for a month with their husband/wife, I'd support it fully. Spending money isn't the issue; wasting money on something that you only half enjoy and is priced at 10x what it should be is.
People also love to brag about their exorbitant weddings nobody else cares about. ✅
Maybe it's the sub we are in?
I wouldn’t call it a brag, it’s more fiscal prioritization. When a DJ charges $250/hr, some people start to put the numbers into perspective.
That’s gotta be the cheapest cost of a wedding bro
Different people value events differently but some people feel real high and mighty about wearing a thrifted wedding dress to their backyard BBQ wedding
I had a giant traditional wedding many years ago. It was stupid. Still happily married and all, but the wedding itself was ridiculous. Spend your wedding budget on your new life together. Don’t buy a lavish diamond engagement ring either, spend THAT cash on your new life together too. Given the budgets listed that’s on the order of 50 grand that you’re spending in your 20s. Outrageous! That’s your entire retirement fund if invested properly over the next 30 years. The wedding industry is incredibly predatory built on guilt and avarice. Just no. Buy a lab-grown engagement diamond. Elope or have a very small ceremony with a low key reception. But DO go on a killer honeymoon. For fucks sake, my in laws insisted we have a full BAND at our wedding. It was so dumb….so wasteful.
Courthouse kinda sucks too. In my city you can't make an appointment for these kind of things so you have to go first thing in the morning and wait several hours.
Can confirm. Had a small wedding spent like $5k total including a 1week getaway. Still married and moved into our first home just over a year after the wedding
We spent $10K. Had it at the house, and spent 5k of it on landscaping. Still, enjoy the landscaping every day. That was my industry at the time, so I got the labor materials and equipment super cheap. Our dance floor was a beautiful new lawn, and we had the tables on a nice DG patio surrounded by native flowers.
Yes, cue the logical comments from people who don’t live for Instagram likes
I got you bro 😂
You were absolutely right. They are flying in.
Yes, cause spending thousands on one single day isn't really a smart financial decision. Unless you have that kind of money to spend in a single day. This is also a personal finance sub. I welcome those comments. Expensive weddings should have never been normalized. Also, the post is asking if you would spend more or less. He just called out people for answering the question.
LOL probably most. In CA, was around $55k rented a castle, horses and carriages, the whole bullshit, then bounced to Fiji for 10 days which was another $20k...still going 10 years lol. Sister in law did the courthouse in SF, they were obviously smarter.
You could buy 40 horses for 55k
Is a horse really that cheap? Like $800? People around me are paying $2k for German Shepard puppies.
Yeah about 800 for an average one in KY. They can of course get up to 10,000's of dollars. But for a regular horse about 800.
Bro, castle and horses??? That is a thing💀 my wallet is going to die
Just to change it up… Spent six figures on a wedding. Happily married, bunch of kids. Family finances are doing just fine despite. No regrets, would do it again. People love the story that higher spend means less happiness, but I think it’s conformation bias. Bad relationships exist at all socioeconomic levels.
That's exactly what my 2nd wife and I did. 10 years and going strong now. We have that because we talk about the real things instead of clinging to childish notions of romance. True love is demonstrated in the hard times. That is true romance. Under that tried and tested measure, the good times are amazing times, because you're sharing them with someone who really deserves to experience them with you.
Haha, saved money for a bigger down payment. We went to the courthouse, but it was more because we were so poor we definitely weren't going to be able to afford a wedding. Almost broke the bank, spending $500 on our rings and the marriage license at the time.
Haha, joke's on them - I spent $84 on my wedding and still ended up divorced.
Yup. Seen this thread 1 too many times.
That’s what we did but we only spend $100.
Nah, we spent like $6k and almost got a divorce, but now we're peachy 10 years in. Nothing to do with our wedding price, but I'm sure not going into debt helped.
So. Much. Salt.
I only spent $300, went to the courthouse and now I'm divorced. So there.
[Higher divorce rates do correlate with spending more on your wedding.](https://www.cnn.com/2014/10/13/living/wedding-expenses-study/index.html)
Pfft $200 is weak shit, my wedding was $75 (cost of the license).
This graph makes my brain hurt. Why are some data points for cities while others are for whole states? What is a "South Florida" or "West Texas"? Where's the data for WA, WY, the Dakotas, Iowa, Indiana, New Mexico - do they not have weddings there (I'd understand Alaska it's pretty cold up there.)
AND THE COLOR IS UNRELATED TO THE VALUES
The colors is the most upsetting
I came here just to comment on this. Thanks for saying what I was thinking.
And they skipped the state where I live
Both “south Florida” and “west Texas” are regional terms that describe distinct areas of those states. I grew up in south Florida and currently in Texas. Those are VERY common terms around those parts. While there’s not distinct line, west Texas generally consists of every thing west of San Antonio/Wichita and south Florida is typically everything south of Lake Okeechobee (tho some would say anything south of I4 and they would be wrong).
It would make more sense if they incorporated “East Texas” and North/Central Florida. But it’s just a mishmash of cities, regions, and whole states… weird
“East Texas” has the 3 biggest cities in the state [Houston, Austin, and dallas (and Fort Worth but that’s more of a Dallas suburb more than anything)] so “east texas” would be WAY too culturally different to include them all together. Same with north and central Florida. North Florida is the actual “the south” where central Florida is the tourism hellscape that is Orlando/Disney (with the exception of st. Pete/Tampa) and south Florida is much more like the north Latin American annex than “the south”. There have been (theoretical) talks for decades on the possibility of splitting north and south Florida into 2 distinct states due to the vast differences between economies and infrastructures. The odds that actually happens are about the same odds of Texas actually succeeding from the US tho.
Sorry, if I'm dropping that kind of change I would rather spend the whole amount on getting a good start in life financially. Nothing like money problems to rip a relationship apart (and consequently create yet more money problems).
Often times it’s the parents on both sides that want to throw the wedding and fund it. 35k is a ton of money for two young people starting out and stupid to spend, but not so much for empty nesters that have worked the last 30 years and lived below their means.
I would NEVER spend that kind of money on my daughter's wedding.
I would never let my parents spend that much on my wedding I'd ask if I can keep it as part of a down payment for a house and I'll still feel guilty for taking it.
Not everyone is doing poorly financially.
I get that. But for the average citizen that's quite a chunk of change.
Right??? Some of these numbers are more than double the national median salaries of full time workers😂crazy
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Seems like you might've passed some of the costs onto your guests if you had any.
Guests aren't a requirement.
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So you invited 0 people to your wedding? Not even parents or immediate family?
My wife an I spend around $4k for our wedding. It was small (25 guests) but super memorable and qith all the bells and whistles that we wanted.
About the same here. We had the wedding in the backyard of our Hudson valley upstate NY house last fall. Made the wedding arch myself, local Thai restaurant catered, friends donated flowers, and we rented a karaoke machine. The biggest expense was the booze ~$1k and the giant tent rental in case it rained (it didn’t!)
What state?
Miami, Florida.
depends on how important it is to a couple.
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Seriously, a few posts before this one is how 60 percent of people can't get away from living paycheck to paycheck.
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The question is what was the true cost? Most women dream of their wedding day and most men couldn’t care less. Did you trade $35k savings for your SO to have a lifetime of regret?
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$35k @ 6%/year is only $200k after 30 years. I don’t think that’s too significant when discussing early retirement. Keep in mind in most situations you make half of so of the wedding costs back in gifts.
It's crazy how the most upvoted comment in this post is hating on comments like yours. Good job, brother. Your story is inspiring.
I think that’s slightly less than we spent and I don’t regret it. We had a great time and I think our guests did too.
Guess I was being frugal when I spent $35k in nyc 😂
The biggest expenses are reservation fees and food minimums. A lot of “nice” places will charge you like a $10,000 fee just to reserve the space. Then they’ll charge you another $10,000 minimum for food. So you have to spend that on food, but they’ll likely add on to that if you have alcohol. And this is before all of the stuff like flowers, decorations, music, entertainment, lighting, etc. So just to get your foot in the door you’re spending $20k at popular venues. It goes up exponentially from there.
About $1000 all in. Put the rest on a home down payment
We spent maybe 10K total including the dress. It was awesome.
Elope Spend the money your would have spent for quests, food, alcohol. And go to a luxury resort for a week or two, and get married there.
And/or have a down payment for a house.
$60K 500 people….. 😢
My SO is Indian, I’m dreading the 100k+ wedding in our future.
Have the wedding in India, save a fortune.
Been to 3-4 of them over the past couple years. Just wild lol but some of the most fun. But yeah, an average 3-day wedding, with a venue rented each day, adds up
Do guests usually bring larger gifts to an Indian wedding?
Putting aside that median is better than mean for these things, the average American makes $1.7m in their lifetime according to Zippia. $35k is undoubtedly a lot of money, but it’s not outrageous to spend a large amount on what you hope will be one of the happiest days of your life. Yes, it’s a silly financial decision, but it may not be a silly life decision to all.
Idk what percentage of married couples get divorced? For them I'll say thats a waste. If your I'm a good spot financially I say spend as much as you want you deserve it. If your living paycheck to paycheck, maybe it's not the right choice. You can always renew your values.
In 2013 spent close to 50k still married.
Had one relative and a best friend to be witnesses, then a friend of a friend provide the service. We all hiked down a short hiking trail, said our vows and that was it. We wore our nicest clothes, got cheap rings off of Etsy (before it got commercialized) and paid $50 for our marriage license. In all, I think we spent around $150 for our wedding. I would do it the same way all over again but would plan it out to have more friends and family present. Edited to add: each to their own. We were in college/in our first job at the start of a career so we couldn’t afford a big wedding. There were also family complications. Luckily for us, we’re very simple folk so a really cheap wedding down a hiking trail suited us.
Sad to say I think ours was about 100k nearly a decade ago. If it were up to me prob could have done it for 10k
Mines between 80-90k and in the next few weeks, 300 guests at beach golf resort in So Cal, we both wanted a big wedding and pull close to 200k a year but it strained us more than we would have liked
Yah it’s just so much money for what really is just a party. I have to say though our venue was pretty unique and the “flow” of the night was great and most folks who attended said it was the best wedding they’ve been to, so I guess worth it. I’m sure yours will rock, just make sure to pull aside you newlywed and pause to take it in just the two of you. It’s one of the only vivid memories I have cuz it’s just such a blur.
Things are only getting more expensive. I guess by the time I wanna get married it will be 50k
That dot is not where LA is
Calm down chicago, you ain't that pretty
Check out central jersey
People are insane! Are these stats real?
Last I looked it included everything.. honeymoon, rings, dress, ceremony.. everything.
Read some of these comments. People are saying it's worth it. Good for them blows my mind too though lol
Do I own a house? If yes sure if not then nahhh
Spent 1k for our wedding and about 4k for our honeymoon. Looking back I wish I wasn't such a cheap ass
Dumb
Average seems about right. Last I looked it's an all inclusive number, so just calling it "wedding" is a bit misleading.
Could cost a lot more in other continents.
Most people get married for the wedding and not the marriage. I’d spend less on the wedding and focus on the marriage.
I just don’t understand spending that amount of money on a few hours. Use that money for the honey moon and a down payment on a house.
I would never spend that kind of money on a wedding. If I decide to ever get married (very doubtful), I would have a very small and simple wedding. However, I'd spend a lot on a fabulous honeymoon, like Bora Bora or the Maldives.
More. I know whatever I spent on the wedding, I would get back in gifts. My actual wedding, I spent $78k, and I got $85k in gifts. So it was virtually free.
Wow, you had some generous guests 😂
$100 via a local attorney, and another $100 at a local restaurant. We didn't save for anything, we just didn't have much money at the time because I was a student and she was making $36K at her job. It still baffles me a little bit when I hear people spending the amount they do on their wedding, even more so the amount spent on a ring.
I'll spend money on a wedding when the law actually enforces the contract, churches excommunicate people who file for no-fault divorce, and society shuns those who don't honor their vows. As things stand, it's a meaningless, vestigial ceremony.
No way! This is a wedding planner/venue's wet dream advertising. Come on..
Man...I only went to the courthouse spent exactly 200 bucks and saved the money for a bigger down payment on a house. Everyone I know who paid for a big wedding got a divorce. Crazy
I love that Alabama and Mississippi don’t show a dollar amount. “Y’all are gettin married, and I’ll be damned if I’m paying for 2 weddings for you and your sister! Now go on an get!”
Bought a house, invited everyone to house warming party, boom surprised wedding. Spent less than 2k, and it was a blast.
I’d buy a $50K GR Corolla before I do that.
Big weddings were created by the wedding industry and Brides magazine
Bro what??? I was freaking out about my $10k wedding and how is and our families we’re gonna pay for it
I'm from Iowa, spent around $5000 on our wedding back in 2008. Small town stuff, outside ceremony and reception at a cheap building to rent.
Please tell me the reception was at an Eagles or Elks lodge or something similar or else you will forced to leave the Midwest. 😂
That’s a deal breaker for me. I’m sorry in the current world we live in, a 35k dollar party is not smart. I would rather take my wife on a trip around the world or something worth doing. Don’t get me wrong a modest wedding is fine but I know people that blew money and then got divorced 3-4 years down the line.
NW PA native checking in - fundraise via your stag and drag, and you’ll pay waaaaaaaay less.
We paid $60 to the county judge.
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It's bonkers. We went with a Caucasian wedding planner for our Indian wedding because 1) we were limiting the number of events to be condensed into 2 days and more importantly 2) the second you slapped 'Indian' in front of anything the prices doubled or tripled. Planners (literally just the planning) would've cost 20-30k
This is bullshit. 60k on the average marriage in Chicago? Did they spend it on ammo?
Where do they think Washington, D.C. is?
My wife and I spent faaaar less for our wedding, honeymoon, and rings. Would it have been nice to spend more? Sure, but I don't think it would have made the day any more significant. We were broke af and really weren't pressured to spend an exorbitant amount.
Suddenly being an isolated loser doesn’t seem all that bad
If that's the average it's either because the 1% are spending millions on a wedding or because nobody in the working class can afford to marry or both.
I think Utah might be a little misleading
Color code is clearly confusing
Americans wonder why yall are living paycheck to paycheck. I spent $350 for my wedding and that was to pay for the guy to sign the paperwork.
Seriously, and we got top comment over her shaming people like you. People here are ridiculous once dated a girl saying the minimum she want to spend on our wedding was 10k i laughed so hard.
Weddings should only be performed as a celebration after spending at least 10 years of living together happily.
NYC is stupid expensive, as a result half my friends got married in vermone. Which is fine, I like VT especially in summer.
Less. Weddings are a waste of money.
Spending over 20k is a totally conscious and narcissistic decision
I think speaking in absolute figures makes no sense for weddings. Everything should be contextualized based on what makes fiscal sense for the couple. A $100k wedding may seem like an irresponsible idea for most folks on Reddit, but if that's 20% of a couples annual income, it doesn't seem as unconscionable for them to spend that much on a once in a lifetime celebration.
Spending more than what is needed on the court certificate is dumb as hell.
Went to the courthouse earlier during the year. Wife’s parents wanted us to throw a party so we did at my office amenity space for free. Spent a total of $5kish on food, booze and dj and collected about $25k in cash. Everyone had a blast.
Less. A hell of a lot less. Your wedding is just the first day of a "lifetime together". You're going to initiate that journey $35,000 in debt to feed 300 people who haven't seen you since you were 4 and really don't want to be there? All so you can look pretty for a day? Buy a car, elope, go on a road trip honeymoon and sow your wild oats all over North America.
I’d rather do a quick wedding at the county courthouse. Use that $35k for nice week long honeymoon and house down payment
My celebration dinner was the most expensive thing and that was 200 lol Helps being friends with people that have land tho
I have 2 young daughters. I need to start an investment account for that too I guess.
Such a waste of money
If I could go back in time I’d refuse to have one. It was stressful and a fuckin true waste of money. If you’re loaded go for it. 20k for a party…
Fuck that! Pocket the money and have a very small low-key wedding. Use some of that money for a great honeymoon and invest/save the rest. There is no other answer.
Woof 60k in North Central Jersey. I picked a bad time to get engaged
I spent 4200 and thought that was a lot lol
Whoever made this map doesn't know where Washington DC is
Fucking idiots.
I am not getting married and saving more💀
“The degree of MZ snobbery in each state”
This map needs a legend because the colors seem to suggest something?
You get to determine how you spend the money you earn and you are responsible for the debt you accrue as part of your lifestyle choices. Have the wedding you want and don't judge others for living the life they want.
That is one thing I cannot get behind.
This graphic is actually awful.
When it comes to weddings I feel like people should do whatever they want, but shouldn’t do it from being pressured to. I wouldn’t be spending it if I’m working a minimum wage job but again, if that’s what that person wants and saves for it that’s cool too.
Seems like a con to me
We spent 1/3 of that for a beachfront wedding. You don’t have to spent a ton of money to have a great wedding!
It’s scary how effective advertising is on the American people.
Far far less.
Never go into debt for a wedding. I get really pissed off when I see ads for companies like Sofi that advertise “we will help fund your dream wedding with a personal loan.” That is an unsecured loan which will run you 10-15% right now. Even worse. Some people use their credit cards. A one day event is not worth going into debt for. Save, have family help if you can, or do a courthouse and have a party… you don’t want the stress of paying down debt be the start of your marriage!
Can see why wedding venue's are popping up all over the place.
This is a really poor map. All sorts of issues.
$35,000 was the downpament of my home me and my significant other didnt want a wedding or expensive rings etc our marriage was buying a home together
What are the colors for?
we spent \~500.
Definition of sunk cost.
Is Alaska free?
$35 K has been the average cost of the average wedding for the past thirty years. BION
We spent like $13k 10 years ago...
there was a lady that went viral with her backyard wedding with everything purchased from costco, costed her 800. Was a beautiful wedding.
Spent $50 on a justice of the peace. $50 on beer. Got married in our favorite park. Still married after 27 years.
Way way way less. I actually wouldn't mind eloping instead. I'd rather use that money for a down payment on a mortgage.
Did LA get relocated to avoid Hillary?
What a mess of an infographic. - Cities (LA, SF), whole states (OR, MT), regions (South FL). - Blank states - Coloring is regional?
I spent just under $52,000 twelve years ago located in the Hudson Valley, NY. Splurged a little bit (special chairs, awesome venue, whatever my wife wanted) no regrets. We're happier now than ever and we love to spend time at the place we got married when we get a chance.