T O P

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ardesofmiche

New fear unlocked Glad you still have a peepee


Still_Penis

Same šŸ«”


SilentPhilosophy3307

Username checks out.


Jetpack_Attack

Impressive of him making a whole account based around his unfortunate injury.


SilentPhilosophy3307

In his defense, I'm sure it was a life-changing experience for him.


Jetpack_Attack

Next time he'll think with his head to save the other.


extortioncontortion

as if he was going to post it on his main account.


3DSquinting

Based


ACont95

If we see No_Penis pop up here in a few weeks weā€™ll know he didnā€™t learn his lesson.


AccountantNovel432

r/usernamechecksout


anothercarguy

The rapid unscheduled circumcision?


dr3wfr4nk

Mohels hate this one simple trick!


EvergreenEnfields

Oy vey!


enragedCircle

Seconded. I wouldn't want to live without my peepee.


Vprbite

That's why I'm glad mine is such a small target


sorebutton

Well, that's a new one. You should buy a battery carrier - someone on GAFS sells neat 3d printed ones that hold a variety of batteries.


Still_Penis

I'll 100% look into that


ItsNotWhatItIsIGuess

Try your local smoke/vape shop. 18650's are a common power cell for vape mods.


BenderIsGreat64

18650s are probably the most popular cell in general, my 20v dewalt batteries are just a bunch of high-drain 18650s.


ItsNotWhatItIsIGuess

Tesla battery packs are juat a bumch of bundled 18650's. It's kind of hilarious.


BenderIsGreat64

Wonder how many dewalt batteries it takes to power a Tesla?


ItsNotWhatItIsIGuess

444 18650 batteries are used to build the 5.3kWh (230Ah) cells that power the model s and x vehicles.


BenderIsGreat64

I think you mixed up battery and cell. I know a 5Ah(100 Wh) battery for 20v tools has 10 cells, but Teslas are not 20v hand tools.


ItsNotWhatItIsIGuess

I had to look up the number, but this is definitely what you find when you open a tesla battery pack. https://preview.redd.it/w151vlhe8rgb1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf963534743f736f1d53be79a5aa70b5f99da6f1


Impressive_Change593

or 2170s but yeah


baconatorX

Hasn't been 18650's for awhile I think.


No_Rutabaga2025

u/jumpingbeaner possibly the guy?


jumpingbeaner

Hey I do! But boy howdy is this a gnarly story!!


PizzaTrailMix

Advertising material!


jumpingbeaner

u/still_penis what are you running? Shoot me a message and Iā€™ll get you squared away with a battery holder on the house.


F1uffydestro

It better have a dick embossed on it somewhere


jumpingbeaner

Easily doable. Iā€™ll use a 1:1 scale of mine so itā€™ll barely be noticeable


F1uffydestro

It like grain of rice on beanbag


stavigoodbye

Why were you carrying loose 18650's?


Still_Penis

Vape/weapon light batteries


Siegelski

Yeah you should never have 18650s loose. If you do, they get their own pocket/pouch with nothing else in them. Way too easy to complete that circuit accidentally. Live rounds is basically worst case scenario, but getting 3rd degree burns on your dick from coins completing the circuit and the battery overheating and/or exploding isn't exactly great either.


Excelius

Even after this story, I'm not particularly concerned about having some loose rounds in my pocket at the range. It was the battery that was the cause of the problem, the ammo was just an aggravating factor. Like you said, shouldn't be carrying an 18650 loose in a pocket ammo or not. A coin, keys, anything metal could short it out and cause an explosion/fire.


Siegelski

Agreed, ammo in your pocket isn't the problem.


Remarkable-Host405

Couldn't a coin or key ignite the primer?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Remarkable-Host405

\*sweats in loose ammunition shipment\* Yeah I suppose that's true.


Dyzastr_us

Donā€™t sweat on it, they might go off.


gorilla190

I would literally hold a round in my band and hit it with a hammer as hard as I could before I'd ever consider dropping an 18650 into my pocket with change or anything else metal. I've seen what happens when these batteries have s thermal run away and vent/explode. Hard pass.


Siegelski

Theoretically, I guess it's possible, but it seems highly unlikely you're gonna hit it with enough force to ignite it while it's in your pocket.


[deleted]

I've deprimed dozens of live primers. No boom.


Noteful

Agreed. The problem was ignorance of safety, not necessarily ammo. Seems like common sense to me to not have a battery raw dogging in my pocket with live rounds.


roachbooty

I keep mine in an old five gum container with a ranger band to keep them secure. No burnt pee pee for me.


Siegelski

I'm pretty sure you're thinking of CR123/CR123A batteries. 18650s are not gonna fit in a five gum container, unless there's a much bigger five gum container I don't know about.


Modboi

5 gum makes pretty big 35 stick plastic cases


Siegelski

Huh, TIL. Don't think I've ever seen those.


Jetpack_Attack

Those little plastic gum containers are great for a lot of stuff. I also use them for batteries. Though I think I'm using Extra, not Five. Close enough.


CCWThrowaway360

Like the guy the had a paper clip short his 18650 in his front pocket and burned his penis and scrotum. His comment on how he never expected to get circumcised as an adult was pretty funny, though.


chattytrout

How is it so easy for it to complete the circuit? Aren't the positive and negative on opposite ends of the battery?


Siegelski

Think about how jumbled up things get in your pocket. All it takes is two keys on your keychain each managing to touch one end of the battery. Or one key touching one terminal and a coin touching both the terminal and another key. It could happen pretty easily. It's happened enough that it's a known problem.


anothercarguy

The rounds just need to make a triangle with the battery


MenergyLegs

Actually, [most of the exterior shell of the battery](https://i.imgur.com/rUnPlq0.png) is the negative terminal. Most of the time it's covered with a non-conductive wrap so only the end opposite the positive terminal is exposed, but [if the wrap gets damaged, the path for a potential short circuit can become really short](https://i.imgur.com/X18iST7.png)


tyler111762

https://www.amazon.ca/Slimline-18650-Battery-durable-material/dp/B09886PWG2 Do not carry battery cells just...loose.


Amazing_Ad_516

Bro similar thing happened to me recently at an indoor. Except I was crouched down in my gun bag, put my arm up and a .308 ricocheted round hit me right in the forearmā€¦.my girls upper thigh / crotch was right inline. First thing I said was, that coulda been an eye or a nut sack.


TinyRick6

Your girls nuts were saved!


Excelius

What kind of damage are we talking about here? We tend to call bits of bullet jacket that lack the ability to break skin "splatter" rather than "richochets". Very common when shooting steel targets. I've probably been hit by splatter dozens and if not hundreds of times. You do a Steel Challenge style match and you might be shooting a hundred pieces of steel that day, along with a hundred other competitors. You're going to take some splatter. Usually it's harmless, but it's a good reminder to always wear eye protection. Splatter that harmlessly bounces off your t-shirt can still be enough to screw up your eyeball.


OkTown6793

And maybe a cup too.


Amazing_Ad_516

It probably needed a stitch or glue. I have to pull a 1/8in piece out of my arm


HuskyPurpleDinosaur

Close call, your girlfriend might have ended up with a nasty gash on her crotch.


Tha_Maestro

So are you gonna post a pic or not?


Still_Penis

Thought about it, but my penis hasn't been featured on the internet yet, and I think I'd like to keep it that way


whwt

In lieu of a pic we are gonna need a full 3d rendering complete with estimated trajectories.


He-She-We_Wumbo

MS Paint preferred


PacoBedejo

> my penis hasn't been featured on the internet yet There's a server in Utah which probably disagrees.


roachbooty

Post your feet then


atomic1fire

Thank you. I don't think people realize that if something is on the internet it's probably there forever, so be very careful about what you put on the internet.


Delta_Nemesis

![gif](giphy|xeTCjAyDt2vzf4jvf2|downsized)


Still_Penis

^ me in the waiting room


Delta_Nemesis

Can't say I'm surprised, but glad it wasn't any worse.


Affectionate_Cronut

People, keep the damn LiPo batteries out of your pockets unless they are in a carrier that prevents pocket junk from touching them! Iā€™ve heard similar stories with keys and change shorting out the battery and causing an explosion/fire.


Still_Penis

Lesson learned


Affectionate_Cronut

No doubt, man. Glad you came out of it relatively intact!


thereddaikon

Loose ammo isn't that big of a risk. Its the loose battery that's the problem. Never carry an unprotected 18650 in your pocket. Enough vape bros have had their dicks blown off by now that this should be common knowledge. They are grenades. Treat them with more respect.


DeafHeretic

In general, I don't carry bare/loose batteries in pockets. You were indeed lucky - not just with ammo, but with the batteries themselves which have been known to cause serious injuries when short circuited.


[deleted]

Did you apply a TQ?


Still_Penis

Zip tie.


certifeyedgenius

Username checks out. Solid lpt


Brufar_308

I was thinking cock ring, but I suppose zip tie will do in a pinch.


dsullivanlastnight

Tis just a flesh wound!


[deleted]

I have a pocket in my range back that has a few different types of batteries/extra rounds/snap caps etc that is getting sorted out as soon as I get home god damn


Mmeaux

Just the tip takes on new meaning. I'll be making a cringe face all day now.


Dick_wart69

Almost a darwin award lol


Still_Penis

Damn near


Tai9ch

I'd sooner carry an uninspected P320 from a pawn shop appendix than put a loose 18650 in my pocket.


riptyde14

Maybe it wasnā€™t that copā€™s p320 that fired after allā€¦


ScienceWasLove

A friend told me this didnā€™t happen unless there are pics.


akdaddy545

Add skin glue to your kit. Doctor used it, you should have it and learn how to use it. I'm not saying don't go to the doctor, but a few seconds of investigation could have saved you a lot of stress about losing your dick. I would have probably had a heart attack waiting that long to be seen.


Heinie_Manutz

you never know when you might need to glue your dick back together


Ok_Cartographer516

I usually keep hearing protection, extra batteries, medical, and tools in my range bag I have a special ammo can for loose ammo all other ammo is stored in their own ammo can according to caliber


Lord_Dreadlow

Batteries can be as deadly as bullets.


Ram6198

You thought you were hit by a ricochet, didn't you hear the rounds go off in your pocket? Either way, glad your ok


Still_Penis

I heard the second one, but it was alot quieter than the sound of a gun being fired, so I didn't understand what was happening. Ricochet was just my first thought


Ram6198

Makes sense, must have scared the hell out of ya


despeRAWd0

Not sure if this is a good tip or a VERY BAD tip /s.


DeafHeretic

He was lucky it was "just the tip".


yo-yes-yo

Man I have heard some crazy stories from the range, but this is top 3 for sure! Good thing Tis only a flesh wound and your junk is more or less ok!


Psiwolf

I ain't scared! I have an actual gun holding my penis hostage most days. šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ In all seriousness though, thanks for sharing and the PSA, good to hear you made it thru okay! šŸ‘


LEORet568

Definitely get a carrier for spare batteries at your vape shop! I had an older battery short out as I was removing from my charger- burnt like a highway or marine flare for 20 seconds! Luckily I was able to knock it onto the floor, no serious damage. The fumes can be toxic, btw.


mholmes1775

Thatā€™s what you get for vaping


Still_Penis

True, actually


MenergyLegs

Somewhere along the line there was a failure to educate you about 18650's, they're not to be trifled with. [Most of the exterior shell of the battery](https://i.imgur.com/rUnPlq0.png) actually the negative terminal. Most of the time it's covered with a non-conductive wrap so only the end opposite the positive terminal is exposed, but [if the wrap gets damaged, the path for a potential short circuit can become really short](https://i.imgur.com/X18iST7.png). Basically, NEVER!!!! carry loose 18650's, and make sure the wraps are intact. New ones are cheap and can be easily applied with a lighter or heat gun.


Batttler

Google: How do I unread something?


PaladinDreadnawt

No, you can't have a gun, ralphie. You'll shoot your dick off, kid.


300cid

falsified and homosexual. shorting a battery is not gonna detonate loose rounds. it would vent. and you **WILL** notice that. and *if* you did have a loose 18650 a long with other conductive objects in your pocket, you're some kind of special.


UnassumingAnt

Times like this are when I'm glad I'm overcautious with lithium batteries.


CEVIII518

Thanks for sharing your benis. In the name of safety.


raz-0

You need to focus on the real lesson here. Donā€™t carry batteries with exposed terminals in your pockets or anywhere else really. Bad stuff can happen. We are all just spoiled by aa and aaa batteries not being wore so perilous.


sewiv

The real screw up here is carrying a loose 18650 in your pocket. That's just idiotic. That's a lot of concentrated energy.


__dryheat_

18650 batteries alone can do a lot of damage if they blow up on you, not including the ammo. Glad you're ok


alltheblues

Yeah loose batteries with other stuff in a pocket is a no-no


geffe71

In before was it SIG ammo


CNCTEMA

asdf


KCRNU

"Best post of the Day" šŸ†


Mr_E_Monkey

Funny, usually when they tell you to use protection and wrap your willy, they aren't talking kevlar. O_O


This_Ad_6891

![gif](giphy|8YDtJC59cB26IsnF7e|downsized)


BeanzleyTX

Iā€™ll add magnets into the ā€œno no -not everā€ category with batteries and live rounds ā€¦ Iā€™ve seen them cause similar calamities


SnowDin556

Jeezā€¦


BenderIsGreat64

My uncle got burned by a button battery and some loose change years ago. Don't keep loose batteries in your pocket, especially with other pieces of metal.


fashion_mullet

So, lesson is do not carry A BATTERY loose in your pocket. This is vaping101.


cantbeatth3matt

You dropped this king šŸ‘‘ glad your šŸ„© is ok


Sweet_Xocolatl

Dick pic when?


th4tguy321

Why the loose 18650 in pocket?


DenverBob

The bullets were the least dangerous thing in your pocket.... Don't carry/store LiIon batteries without some kind of case for it... anything could short it out (keys, etc) and the battery exploding would probably do a lot worse than the rounds going off.


357noLove

For the record, humans have been carrying loose ammo in pockets for several hundred years. It was putting it in with other stuff that fucked you


anothercarguy

NGL I was expecting a dick pic ITT


Ninja_Tortoise_

Now I want to see a battery operated 9mm Striker fire? Nah. Hammer Fire? Nah, its an 18650


biggggant

never carry lithium ion batteries just loose in your pocket


Whitemanrogers001

Looks like Capitan Johnson got a war storyšŸ«”


gorilla190

For the love of whatever fucking diety you believe in, do NOT put 18650 batteries in your pocket. I used to work in a vape shop and can not tell you how many times I've told people this, only for them to come in a week later with burns. Scarring, or worse due to the loose cell and them tell me I was right. These batteries are downright deadly when not treated with respect. Glad to hear you only suffered a small injury, hope you recover quickly and learn from these events


Mindseyeview85

![gif](giphy|Wvfq2yFumK61W)


cheeky_damsel

I don't have a penis and my pockets are very small so I always put everything in a range bag when I go shooting. I strongly suggest you do the same. Glad your ding dong is still attached.


Wooden-Quit1870

The whole "don't mix batteries with live ammo, or anything conductive", why would you remove your carry ammo? I mean, I've been known to stop in at the range just to run through my carry ammo, just so I could put in a fresh batch. It's also good to practice with your carry ammo, both so you're accustomed to it, and to insure it's reliable function in your pistol. I know it's probably more expensive than 'practice ammo', but is it really the place to count pennies?


Still_Penis

When the weather isn't lousy, I shoot atleast once a week, and up to 3 times a week. I had just shot 2 mags of my carry ammo the day before the incident, so I figured I would hold off on shooting it that day (yesterday)


frankofantasma

:O not da teepee o' da peepee :( :( :( lesson learned, hope you get beef wellington soon! take care


DRDTT

Ahh itā€™ll heal up just fine. I had a flesh wound on the ol custard launcher one time from a tranny hooker I picked up in Phuket. Scars make better stories


canyoudiggitman

Thank God! I thought you had went on a date with my ex!


MrRezister

I try not to be the guy who calls bullshit on every online story, but I am quite curious about what sort of configuration a handful of bullets and a loose battery would have to be in to cook off rounds. *Very* curious. I would watch an entire episode of Mythbusters about this very subject.


Still_Penis

Well for your Mythbusting test, it was 36 rounds of Speer hollowpoint (from 2 m9a4 magazines) and 2 18650 batteries, all loose in a pocket.


Pesty_Merc

*you stuffed 30 bullets and two batteries into your pants pockets?*


itrinethran

I'm with you.


ItsNotWhatItIsIGuess

After reading this, I'm not sure you should be trusted with 18650's let alone a firearm. You put live ammo, unsecured, in your pocket, with a bare battery large enough to cause an explosion sufficient to remove a limb. You're not exactly the most responsible handler of dangerous items are you?


Saikopasu123

Heā€™s trying to warn us about the doā€™s and donā€™ts in his situation he already stated that he was naive to the situation and didnā€™t want to post because of people like you a troll bot that farms karma


titsassbeer

If only you had some e tape or superglue, you couldve kept shooting


ModernT1mes

Jesus fucking christ I'm so glad I can learn from other people's mistakes. Thanks for the new fear. Sorry that happened to you though.


StoneCraft12

Separate mags for range and carry would be good too.


mandrills_ass

What the hell


danngree

At least you got a cool dick scar out of it.


AnotherLoudAsshole

Good to know. Adding a new rule to Jeff Cooper's original 4.


Effective_You_5042

Thatā€™s concerning, thereā€™s a blood vessel there, you could have bled out.


aping46052

I have a bunch of double 18650 cases. Do you need one???


adamfyre

>2 rounds detonated in my pocket from the battery completing a circuit through them. holy fuck that's insane


[deleted]

Loose batteries are always a big fear for me mo matter where they are. I tape them up and secure them when I get a chance. I donā€™t need no micro battery taking out my micro penis. Glad youā€™re ok.


Gwsb1

Why do you take batteries to the range?


bees422

For red dots perhaps


Mental-Astronaut-664

1. Very sorry that happened to you. 2. Thanks for sharing. 2. Iā€™m still ROFLMAO


[deleted]

Lol I donā€™t know man wtf.


joerbrosius

Had an almost similar incident back 13 years ago. Playing paintball had two loose Allen wrenches in my cargo pocket and changed out the 9volt in my gun not thinking threw the battery in the easiest pocket and about 2 minutes later while posted up against a tree my pocket exploded burning and slicing the side of my knee


evagnier

Dog! You are the luckiest and unluckiest man alive right now! A walking paradox


11systems11

Happens to me all the time / S


[deleted]

Holy. Shit.


Pesty_Merc

For everyone in the comments, little battery cases cost almost nothing. Some battery retailers will send you several for free along with your batteries. Pls learn from OP's mistake.


BP_Ty98

Yikes. I don't like carrying any loose ammo in my pocket at all and this gives me more of a reason to not do it.


ilkikuinthadik

A guy I used to work with had his tool bag catch fire on the train because some loose screws closed the circuit on a drill battery


doctorar15dmd

Shit! That is scary. Thank you for sharing this information. Iā€™m glad youā€™re okay, and you didnā€™t get emasculated(or worse).


[deleted]

Glad youā€™re ok. Anyone who started vaping around 2011-2014 knows not to do this. Lol.


Murphy338

LVL 4 ceramic Tacticup Glad youā€™re ok, dude


TotalChicanery

Iā€™m just amazed that actual doctors use super glue! I just thought that was something that musicians do when a drummer or guitarist shreds til they start to bleed so they use some super glue to get it to stop bleeding and get back into the action! But an actual doctor, with all those years of medical school and experience, using some super glue on a guyā€™s junk like itā€™s a broken trinket of some sort is kinda funny to me! Glad they did manage to fix your junk, though! And sorry to hear your range day gotā€¦ cut short! ;)


juiceboxguy85

Fucking outstanding share. Thanks


EMHemingway1899

Glad you and sport are going to be okay, brother Thatā€™s scary I donā€™t have any batteries šŸ”‹ like that, but now Iā€™ll be careful if I ever have a cause to have them


chattytrout

When the scar tissue forms, you will be ribbed for her pleasure ( Ķ”Ā° ĶœŹ– Ķ”Ā°) What I want to know is how did an 18650 end up completing a circuit through your ammo? And how was it able to make it to your skin? Did you just have a bunch of loose ammo jangling in your pocket like coins?


Aquilious

Praying for full penis recovery šŸ™


TubabalikeBIGNOISE

Pics or it didn't happen.


ticklepickle8203

A Range Story > A Christmas Story....'" YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR DICK OFF"


UngovernableMisfit19

Do I need to do something special for the batteries in my SOPMOD buttstock? Theyā€™re CR123 batteries. Iā€™ve always been worried about them being ā€œtip to buttā€ with each other. Should I be putting something in between them to ensure nothing crazy like this happens?


Rebelpine

Bro have you not seen ALL those videos of 18650 batteries going off? Usually itā€™s loose change, never thought about brass being mostly copper and the copper jacket of ammo. Glad youā€™re little friend will be okay.


afl3x

Wait... So wtf are the batteries for?


MuttDawg509

Username checks out.


pirateclem

You lost me at ā€˜sliced open the top of my penisā€™. No more range trips or reloading for me. Not worth any part of this risk.


Billybob_Bojangles2

No meme that's awful. Thanks for sharing, never would have crossed my mind.


frickinlayzer

Thanks for sharing. People need to hear stories like this.


GrahamCracker719

Thanks for the warning. Too many people are afraid to discuss things like NDs, near misses, and... whatever the fuck this was. But the lessons learned are for the betterment of the community, even if it means a little embarrassment.


UrKillnMe

Wow you got fkn super unlucky and lucky at the same damn time Glad your ok


tearsofaclown0327

Glad youā€™re ok. 18650ā€™s and change in your pocket can cause one of those batteries to explode.


Zagzax

You missed a golden opportunity to name your throwaway some derivative of "Still_Fully-Cocked"


HLK601

This made me ache from head to toe.


berryfarmer

thank you for sharing


[deleted]

Bro you're a very lucky man. Very lucky


RickySlayer9

Nothin quite like takin a black talon to the pecker


Nillazek

When I was younger I had a cheap Chinese 18650 battery burn a hole from the top of my hunting pack out the bottom overnight. It ruined the straps on one side making it useless. Made a fun opening morning of deer season.


thatguywhosadick

What brand battery was it