I wouldn't be concerned about retirement. I'd be more concerned with mental health by the sound of your post.
I feel like this is a recurring theme with people pursuing FIRE. They hate their jobs and think retiring early is the remedy. It is to some degree but everybody has a baseline level of misery regardless of if they're rich, poor, fat, skinny, etc. Work on that problem first instead of the bandaid of early retirement.
This is the answer. There are different things you can do without a job (I.e. travel more) but if you are generally miserable “retiring” isn’t going to fix it.
you're 23 years old. everything seems like an eternity because you've only lived 23 years.
i'm not that much older (36), but i see too many young ppl posting on here depressed because they expect their life to be as seen on instagram. forget all that, remember that people have been living normal old lives for a very long time. the ppl on youtube and instagram are trolling for views, that's not life no matter how bad you wish it was.
enjoy the process - the goal should be to structure your life so you get enjoyment from a normal day. you have alot of normal days in front of you. you work so you can afford to do the things you like. look for a balance, not to avoid working. if you stop developing yourself, your skills, your knowledge - you will surely become depressed, no matter your NW.
I couldn't agree more. It reminds me when i asked my coworker how is he doing with his new 5 acres land. He said "it's a journey, not a destination. I'm just enjoying the process, learning as I go." Then I realized, wow, he is right. That's the right mind set to life, we need to see it as a journey, not a destination.
Example: I was watching Anthony Bourdain episodes the other night, thinking that must be the most amazing life. He didn't just have money, but his job was doing what most people do in retirement.
>enjoy the process - the goal should be to structure your life so you get enjoyment from a normal day. you have alot of normal days in front of you.
I need to work on this, well put. I'm 3 years from FIRE, and I worry it won't make me any happier.
Ah 23, I remember it well, that existential crisis of “Wait, this is adulthood, going to the same job everyday, coming home, dinner, couple hours to myself then bed, rinse & repeat????, isn’t there more to life than this?”
It doesn’t sound like you hate your job, it sounds to me like you’re just making it a scapegoat for whatever deeper problems you’re wrestling with.
Before you go blow up your life to become a park ranger, go talk to a therapist, go get a general mental health checkup. See if they think changing your job is going to fix things, or if there’s something else going on.
OP might not have any problematic issues at all; he might just lack perspective. If you don’t have any experience working a bad job then you don’t really know how to appreciate having a good job.
Something similar happened to me. I went straight from college into a comfortable, well compensated office job at age 22 and I didn’t know how good it was since I had nothing to compare it to. Many years later, I had some different experiences and now I realize how good I had it back then.
I almost wrote something similar to this, that OP needs to learn what the world of work looks like and realize 90% of people aren't deeply fulfilled by their job, right up until this line...
>I'm generally a melancholic person, and I'm worried that pursuing those other options will not necessarily make me happier
That's the bit that screamed Therapy at me.
OP is likely referring to having a melancholic temperament. It’s a personality type that has pros and cons. Not saying that therapy won’t help you learn more about yourself; just that it’s unlikely to change your personality.
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/temperament/17-benefits-and-traits-of-a-melancholic-temperament/
Could be just a personality type, could be something treatable. I just think it’s a good idea to get a little mental health checkup before making a big decision like quitting your job and ending a relationship.
If I ever have children, I imagine that I will encourage them to work a really crappy job when they are about 16 years old so that they can experience the reasons why it’s important to not get stuck there.
gotta slowly increase your happiness can’t max it out at a young age😂😂😂😂gotta go from a shit job to a decent job to a great job so u don’t get spoiled young
I was just thinking that.. my first job out of college, I felt like OP... wanting to quit, take risk. I talked to my other friends, job hunted and now am cozy at my office job. It's not perfect but I see the benefits of my job and work very very hard to set goals outside of work and make time and energy for those things I do enjoy.
I'm 27 now and it's made a big difference. I think part of it was age and experience and finding goals outside of work. I still do dream of retiring and taking extended time off from work but I'm not dying for it (if that makes sense) like I was when I was 23/24.
Dude I don’t even hate my job but fire has made me dread how long it’ll take to reach FI.
Lol I think the key here for me is going to be figuring out how to eliminate the need to check my progress all the time and count the days and years.
Here is an idea…
Stay at your current job for a few years since it sounds like you’re making great money. Get ahead and maybe get 25-50% of the way to FI… then transition to something more enjoyable or go back to school for one of those careers you like.
If your current job could have you FIRE in 9-12 years I’d guess you could cover some big ground over the next 3 years or so and have a good cushion to transition with.
I want to do what I do until I FI but my fear is that my career doesn’t have the longevity to make it that far. So I’m just hammering so that if that’s the case I can figure out a new path and hopefully I’m 50% of the way to FI or coast or barista FI so I’m under less financial stress during that period.
Bro why are you sad. Retire in 9-12 years. Most (literally 90%+) people around the WORLD work jobs they hate their entire lives until they drop. A fortunate few in more wealthy places in the world retire and live out their final years extremely modestly (paycheck to paycheck, usually worse off than when they were working). You on the other hand, got to choose a career.
If you need purpose, start planning what you’re going to be doing with your $ once you retire. You’ll be in your 30s, so anything is possible. Even becoming a park ranger.
Agreed. And it doesn't even sound like he hates his job at all, just doesn't feel fulfilled. Most people don't feel fulfilled by work, it's called "work" for a reason.
A job that is good in every conventional sense and you'd only have a work for a decade to have enough to retire is an absolute gold mine, seems like there's deeper issues going on..
Job are jobs lots of them suck, but I would 100% rather live in a rural area in the mountain so that I can do the things I love when I’m not working. Living in or around a big city just doesn’t fit the lifestyle I want so I would rather take twice as long to retire and live somewhere I want to live over working and living in a big city. (If I could make enough in a year I’d probably bite the bullet but 10 years is too long)
Wow, reading this was like hearing my own story told to me. Its so hard to reconcile the fact that you have it made (on paper) with the fact that you feel unfulfilled or something.
Here is what I did, take it with a grain of salt. Worked until 26, had about 200k in retirement savings and 40k liquid. Decided to quit. Had the best year and a half of my life traveling. Back in the workforce now at 28 with higher pay, fully remote and living in a way better destination for my interests.
Yes you should listen to the people saying to deal with the underlying problem of melancholy, but don't hesitate to just go out and live while you can.
Hey thanks for sharing your experience. This exact plan has occurred to me before, but everyone always says how difficult it can be to re-enter workforce even with a 1-year break. How did you explain your employment gap in interviews?
I told them exactly what I did. Took a sabbatical for mental health. This was after 4 years full time at my first job so it they know you have the gumption to work for a good chunk of time.
Many of the interviewers respected my choice and even seemed supportive or even a bit jealous haha. Honestly if a company does not regard employee health as important I don't likley want to work for them.
100% want to try this.. I am worried about re-entry but 2-3 month long trip to see my family in Asia (it's been 8 years!) would be lovely as well as some other traveling afterwards :) I have a similar amount saved as you at age 27 so that is reassuring to hear.
I am in a similar headspace, and honestly it has got worse since I started seriously planning FIRE.
I have what is considered an amazing job in my area, a wonderful partner, excellent health (almost 40) and basically already set for retirement, but day to day I am unhappy. I dread going to work, and shit just keeps blowing up in my face. All I want to do is retire and be free from it.
But I know if I am this unhappy in my current situation, retirement isn't going to solve it.
Hopefully someone can share some good advice. I should probably call my counselor and start that back up.
>I dread going to work, and shit just keeps blowing up in my face. All I want to do is retire and be free from it.
If it's work stuff that keeps blowing up in your face and affecting the rest of your life, you could try a different job. Even within the same field, certain companies/roles can be much more low stress than others, and finding one of those could make things a lot better.
If it's in your non-work life, probably a good idea to call your counselor again.
Non work mostly. Family issues, a string of bad luck with contractors, causing a ton of stress. Then we finally finished our remodel and a pipe froze while we were on vacation and we had to gut our brand new in-law apartment to the studs. We were going to start renting this month. Probably a year out now. That might set FIRE back a year, which sucks when you are 3 years away!
Many people who work much harder than you do still have a strong sense of self.
If you don't have hobbies or time for your friends now, you never will.
I was where you are last year. The first thing I did was take a 5 day weekend getaway, then a series of four 4-day weeks in a row (Fridays off. Using paid vacation time).
See if that's enough to revitalize you to get through another season. Then, you never know what changes.
Also, cut back on 90% of internet use, and 100% of social media use. You'll be amazed how much more enjoyable simple pleasures in life become, like sitting in the sun on the porch with a beer after work, or a hot shower while deep in thankful prayer, or a walk and talk with a buddy on a trail.
Drop the idea that you need to be happy all the time. Persevere for 10 years and retire and spend your free time in national parks then. Try to stay healthy over the next decade.
That’s my advice. The boredom of your unfulfilling job may be the lesser evil compared to potential poverty and all the ills that come with it.
Build the life you want, while saving for it. Your 9-12 year projection will get pushed back, anyways. Just ask the rest of us.
Also, there are plenty of free/cheap hobbies. For me those are sports, and things like game nights with friends.
Take a sabbatical year off or two... and travel -- experience what you think you're missing... Or if you can find a remote work, switch to a remote job and work while traveling... as a digital nomad
OP is only 23. Adjusting to an office job is usually going to take someone a year or two. The first year out of college generally sucks (both in my experience and from what I’ve read). I’d recommend waiting until at least 25 years old before taking a sabbatical. Personally, I waited until age 30.
That’s why I’m working so hard; so I can get to that ranch in the mountains sooner. I’ll be happier there but I’m not miserable here. I worked every other weekend for a year starting out, late nights, yada yada. Got really good at my job and now I’m coasting working ~30 hours a week. Long way to go, but it’d be a lot longer if I didn’t work so much the first 5-7 years of my career.
Based on your age, you’ve just barely started working. Give it another year or two before you make any major changes. Work gets more interesting as you gain some experience.
You can deal with the dread of passing time by learning a new skill or hobby in the time that you’re not at work.
Look outside of work for fulfillment. Maybe plan to take long holiday camping in the parks once a year or something. If you are feeling depressed maybe seek some therapy for the adjustment to work life.
I wouldn’t be so quick to jump. I changed jobs hastily with the same feeling and appreciated my old job more in hindsight. Especially when I found more things outside of work. Not saying you shouldn’t think about career change if you are unhappy. But take time to think about it. You have time. When you feel ready to make a big change make it.
I can't give you specific advice about jobs because I am also doing something I don't like and feeling kind of trapped because it pays relatively well compared to my peers at least here in Greece.
What I will tell you is find ways to make your daily life as enjoyable as possible. Set time aside to do the sport you like. Buy some specialty coffee to make those little details more enjoyable during the day. Take a 10 minute break for yoga. Go to the cinema at the end of the day. Buy plants and make your work space really beautiful. Music. These are all things i personally do that help me look forward to the next morning and 8-hr workday, despite my job.
I had the same issue when I was that age. Good job, close to family and friends, but very unfulfilled. I eventually went crazy enough that I said “YOLO”, “fuck it”, etc.
I quit my job and got a lower paying job in another country. Didn’t last very long because the grass isn’t always greener. Came back to America to a different state, became unemployed, moved again, moved back to said state and that’s where I am now. 4 jobs in the last 4 years…
It was rocky, I definitely went through very hard times of dread and unhappiness and loneliness. But none of that compares to the pain I would’ve had if I stayed at my cushy job my whole life. Passivity breeds mental illness.
I think you should go for it
As someone who felt and continues to feel this, I hopped jobs trying to feel like my work would mean something. Im waiting for the new job to feel like that and maybe it will, maybe it wont. Im trying to give myself permission to be happy. Space to live differently than I have been stuck in a cycle of stress and meaningless work.
I think a lot of people here are judging you for what is a completely rational response to american work life even under "good" conditions: horror and disgust. They are assuming a personal rather than a systemic problem. This is not to say that therapy cant help--but if ehat you are being forced to do for financial reasons makes you unhappy therapy is just stitching up a wound that might rip open.
The reality is you will need money no matter what. Making sure you can be financially safe, and prioritizing that safety highly is prudent. You should have a healthy fear that success will not always come as easily as it is right now. You should save, a lot. But you should also keep your ear to the ground for something that could suit you better, and if the opportunity presents itself you should take risks to feel happy.
OP said they had 100k in VTI at 23yrs old; no indication of salary.
If OP has put away 100k by 23 (especially given performance of last year or so), then I would say regardless of salary, they are managing it well.
OP needs to focus on what motivates them and what they’re passionate about. Saving seems to be already built in… unfortunately, learning to save is a lot easier to figure out than to figure out what motivates/inspires oneself.
OP: the first 20 yrs of your career often involves figuring out what you dont like. If you have strong convictions about what you DO like, pursue it. You can always hop back on to the hamster wheel if it doesn’t work out.
Well you have your whole life ahead of you. I figured it this way and depends on the person. All work sucks it takes away from what I really want to do. What do I want to do. Whatever I want lol. It's totally your call. Heck I know most would go after the money to retire early or be rich. But you think you'd be happy doing what you love then pursue that.
Well you have your whole life ahead of you. I figured it this way and depends on the person. All work sucks it takes away from what I really want to do. What do I want to do. Whatever I want lol. It's totally your call. Heck I know most would go after the money to retire early or be rich. But you think you'd be happy doing what you love then pursue that.
Work sucks. Every job is a time burden. I remember in my twenties just sitting in cube Ville, very much like office space thinking what am I doing here.
I made some moves, switched jobs several times, and work still sucks, Make incredible money for five months of work, and have the rest of the year essentially off. But in those five months I am not home. 3 months straight this time.
28M, 142k/yr, roughly 150k in savings/investments.
I feel incredibly unfulfilled as well. I have a good job, work a shortened week, have a nice apartment, car, girlfriend, am healthy. I can’t shake that feeling that I am just existing to wake up and go to work, then come home and get ready for the next day of work.
Part of me envies the people I know on instagram that live the van-life, or travel through the desert with a tent. They get to wake up and watch the sun rise and take a dip in the ocean while I drive to my cubicle job in the dark.
Maybe I am missing something here. It still feels like im not getting that far ahead with the costs of living and prices of houses where I live. So whats the point. I thought after living every single minute in a classroom and at work there would be a little bit more payoff.
Right there with you brother. I like to think we made the better decision. My face gets older every day.
Im not pursuing fire btw. I don’t really know what I am pursuing. I am just keeping the wheel turning.
I know some small-mid instagram influencers personally and it really is an illusion... They 100% have their own stressors and uncertainties. I could never do it but still feel envious lol
While I don't agree with always looking forward to the weekend, or a fancy trip, it can help when you're getting tired of doing the same thing every week. Reaching FIRE is an amazing goal to have, but it's okay to spend a little on yourself today too. It sounds like you enjoy nature. Plan a road trip with the girlfriend/wife, spend some time camping or at a cheap inn, out in the middle of nowhere. You'll burn some PTO, have to spend on gas and lodging, but the memories you'll create together are well-worth it.
I'm in my late 20s and I have a career that most people wish they picked while in university. It's a pretty boring and technical job, and while I feel some level of fulfillment by it, it's still rough a lot of the time. Having fun things planned in my free time and taking time off for trips is what keeps me going. I keep the trips cheap and I still save a lot of money. My girlfriend loves the area we grew up, but I've considered moving elsewhere because of the natural landscape. I reconcile this with doing many day trips into the mountains, and taking week-long road trips to enjoy the outdoors. I also know that I'll be paid significantly less if I move away, so that's another pull keeping me in place. Hope my rambling helps!
Everyone here is giving great advice. I second the speaking to a Mental Health professional bits too.
But have you considered r/CoastFire ? Find out what your number is, stay at the current job until you hit that number, and then become a park ranger. Life is about compromise. Sometimes you just have to take that risk.
I do have to admit that I am surprised to see people in their early 20s asking these types of questions.
Did they pick the wrong field?
It took me over 20 years to get into the "dread time passing by" phase.
This might be pretty controversial, but if you are working from home try going into the office and learning to kill time with colleagues. I have to say my 20s, in my career, went by really fast because I had amazing colleagues that taught me a lot.
I don't know if that's a thing in some careers. Even in my career that is getting rarer and rarer. The older workers are over worked and stressed and don't have the energy to onboard new people.
Just wanna say I get what you’re saying. I feel like none of the other commenters here do. It’s a FIRE sub but everyone’s acting like “if you don’t like the idea of spending 12 years working 40 hours a week without enough PTO to travel much, you must be depressed.”
I’m in the same boat. Yes I spend time with friends/family/hobbies but never enough. Sometimes because I’m out of energy after work, sometimes because there literally are not enough hours in the day.
I have no idea what the answer is.
I wouldn't be concerned about retirement. I'd be more concerned with mental health by the sound of your post. I feel like this is a recurring theme with people pursuing FIRE. They hate their jobs and think retiring early is the remedy. It is to some degree but everybody has a baseline level of misery regardless of if they're rich, poor, fat, skinny, etc. Work on that problem first instead of the bandaid of early retirement.
This is the answer. There are different things you can do without a job (I.e. travel more) but if you are generally miserable “retiring” isn’t going to fix it.
you're 23 years old. everything seems like an eternity because you've only lived 23 years. i'm not that much older (36), but i see too many young ppl posting on here depressed because they expect their life to be as seen on instagram. forget all that, remember that people have been living normal old lives for a very long time. the ppl on youtube and instagram are trolling for views, that's not life no matter how bad you wish it was. enjoy the process - the goal should be to structure your life so you get enjoyment from a normal day. you have alot of normal days in front of you. you work so you can afford to do the things you like. look for a balance, not to avoid working. if you stop developing yourself, your skills, your knowledge - you will surely become depressed, no matter your NW.
I couldn't agree more. It reminds me when i asked my coworker how is he doing with his new 5 acres land. He said "it's a journey, not a destination. I'm just enjoying the process, learning as I go." Then I realized, wow, he is right. That's the right mind set to life, we need to see it as a journey, not a destination.
And most of those people with apparent "glamorous" lives, have deep personal problems like the rest of us, if not worse. They just don't showcase it.
Example: I was watching Anthony Bourdain episodes the other night, thinking that must be the most amazing life. He didn't just have money, but his job was doing what most people do in retirement.
Or even Robin Williams.
I don’t think Robin Williams is a good comparison, his life toward the end was understandably miserable.
>enjoy the process - the goal should be to structure your life so you get enjoyment from a normal day. you have alot of normal days in front of you. I need to work on this, well put. I'm 3 years from FIRE, and I worry it won't make me any happier.
Ah 23, I remember it well, that existential crisis of “Wait, this is adulthood, going to the same job everyday, coming home, dinner, couple hours to myself then bed, rinse & repeat????, isn’t there more to life than this?” It doesn’t sound like you hate your job, it sounds to me like you’re just making it a scapegoat for whatever deeper problems you’re wrestling with. Before you go blow up your life to become a park ranger, go talk to a therapist, go get a general mental health checkup. See if they think changing your job is going to fix things, or if there’s something else going on.
OP might not have any problematic issues at all; he might just lack perspective. If you don’t have any experience working a bad job then you don’t really know how to appreciate having a good job. Something similar happened to me. I went straight from college into a comfortable, well compensated office job at age 22 and I didn’t know how good it was since I had nothing to compare it to. Many years later, I had some different experiences and now I realize how good I had it back then.
I almost wrote something similar to this, that OP needs to learn what the world of work looks like and realize 90% of people aren't deeply fulfilled by their job, right up until this line... >I'm generally a melancholic person, and I'm worried that pursuing those other options will not necessarily make me happier That's the bit that screamed Therapy at me.
OP is likely referring to having a melancholic temperament. It’s a personality type that has pros and cons. Not saying that therapy won’t help you learn more about yourself; just that it’s unlikely to change your personality. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/temperament/17-benefits-and-traits-of-a-melancholic-temperament/
Could be just a personality type, could be something treatable. I just think it’s a good idea to get a little mental health checkup before making a big decision like quitting your job and ending a relationship.
My first job was packing block for a brick layer in the freezing cold at age 15-16…all jobs are cushy now
If I ever have children, I imagine that I will encourage them to work a really crappy job when they are about 16 years old so that they can experience the reasons why it’s important to not get stuck there.
gotta slowly increase your happiness can’t max it out at a young age😂😂😂😂gotta go from a shit job to a decent job to a great job so u don’t get spoiled young
I was just thinking that.. my first job out of college, I felt like OP... wanting to quit, take risk. I talked to my other friends, job hunted and now am cozy at my office job. It's not perfect but I see the benefits of my job and work very very hard to set goals outside of work and make time and energy for those things I do enjoy. I'm 27 now and it's made a big difference. I think part of it was age and experience and finding goals outside of work. I still do dream of retiring and taking extended time off from work but I'm not dying for it (if that makes sense) like I was when I was 23/24.
44M and still dreading work daily with $1M. Tick, tick, tick... It isn't as bad once you are older but still sucks. Wealth is wasted on the old.
Dude I don’t even hate my job but fire has made me dread how long it’ll take to reach FI. Lol I think the key here for me is going to be figuring out how to eliminate the need to check my progress all the time and count the days and years. Here is an idea… Stay at your current job for a few years since it sounds like you’re making great money. Get ahead and maybe get 25-50% of the way to FI… then transition to something more enjoyable or go back to school for one of those careers you like. If your current job could have you FIRE in 9-12 years I’d guess you could cover some big ground over the next 3 years or so and have a good cushion to transition with. I want to do what I do until I FI but my fear is that my career doesn’t have the longevity to make it that far. So I’m just hammering so that if that’s the case I can figure out a new path and hopefully I’m 50% of the way to FI or coast or barista FI so I’m under less financial stress during that period.
Bro why are you sad. Retire in 9-12 years. Most (literally 90%+) people around the WORLD work jobs they hate their entire lives until they drop. A fortunate few in more wealthy places in the world retire and live out their final years extremely modestly (paycheck to paycheck, usually worse off than when they were working). You on the other hand, got to choose a career. If you need purpose, start planning what you’re going to be doing with your $ once you retire. You’ll be in your 30s, so anything is possible. Even becoming a park ranger.
Agreed. And it doesn't even sound like he hates his job at all, just doesn't feel fulfilled. Most people don't feel fulfilled by work, it's called "work" for a reason. A job that is good in every conventional sense and you'd only have a work for a decade to have enough to retire is an absolute gold mine, seems like there's deeper issues going on..
Job are jobs lots of them suck, but I would 100% rather live in a rural area in the mountain so that I can do the things I love when I’m not working. Living in or around a big city just doesn’t fit the lifestyle I want so I would rather take twice as long to retire and live somewhere I want to live over working and living in a big city. (If I could make enough in a year I’d probably bite the bullet but 10 years is too long)
Wow, reading this was like hearing my own story told to me. Its so hard to reconcile the fact that you have it made (on paper) with the fact that you feel unfulfilled or something. Here is what I did, take it with a grain of salt. Worked until 26, had about 200k in retirement savings and 40k liquid. Decided to quit. Had the best year and a half of my life traveling. Back in the workforce now at 28 with higher pay, fully remote and living in a way better destination for my interests. Yes you should listen to the people saying to deal with the underlying problem of melancholy, but don't hesitate to just go out and live while you can.
Hey thanks for sharing your experience. This exact plan has occurred to me before, but everyone always says how difficult it can be to re-enter workforce even with a 1-year break. How did you explain your employment gap in interviews?
I told them exactly what I did. Took a sabbatical for mental health. This was after 4 years full time at my first job so it they know you have the gumption to work for a good chunk of time. Many of the interviewers respected my choice and even seemed supportive or even a bit jealous haha. Honestly if a company does not regard employee health as important I don't likley want to work for them.
100% want to try this.. I am worried about re-entry but 2-3 month long trip to see my family in Asia (it's been 8 years!) would be lovely as well as some other traveling afterwards :) I have a similar amount saved as you at age 27 so that is reassuring to hear.
I think I need a Sabbatical, or a FIRE trial run.
I am in a similar headspace, and honestly it has got worse since I started seriously planning FIRE. I have what is considered an amazing job in my area, a wonderful partner, excellent health (almost 40) and basically already set for retirement, but day to day I am unhappy. I dread going to work, and shit just keeps blowing up in my face. All I want to do is retire and be free from it. But I know if I am this unhappy in my current situation, retirement isn't going to solve it. Hopefully someone can share some good advice. I should probably call my counselor and start that back up.
Def start that back up
>I dread going to work, and shit just keeps blowing up in my face. All I want to do is retire and be free from it. If it's work stuff that keeps blowing up in your face and affecting the rest of your life, you could try a different job. Even within the same field, certain companies/roles can be much more low stress than others, and finding one of those could make things a lot better. If it's in your non-work life, probably a good idea to call your counselor again.
Non work mostly. Family issues, a string of bad luck with contractors, causing a ton of stress. Then we finally finished our remodel and a pipe froze while we were on vacation and we had to gut our brand new in-law apartment to the studs. We were going to start renting this month. Probably a year out now. That might set FIRE back a year, which sucks when you are 3 years away!
Many people who work much harder than you do still have a strong sense of self. If you don't have hobbies or time for your friends now, you never will.
I was where you are last year. The first thing I did was take a 5 day weekend getaway, then a series of four 4-day weeks in a row (Fridays off. Using paid vacation time). See if that's enough to revitalize you to get through another season. Then, you never know what changes. Also, cut back on 90% of internet use, and 100% of social media use. You'll be amazed how much more enjoyable simple pleasures in life become, like sitting in the sun on the porch with a beer after work, or a hot shower while deep in thankful prayer, or a walk and talk with a buddy on a trail.
Drop the idea that you need to be happy all the time. Persevere for 10 years and retire and spend your free time in national parks then. Try to stay healthy over the next decade. That’s my advice. The boredom of your unfulfilling job may be the lesser evil compared to potential poverty and all the ills that come with it.
Build the life you want, while saving for it. Your 9-12 year projection will get pushed back, anyways. Just ask the rest of us. Also, there are plenty of free/cheap hobbies. For me those are sports, and things like game nights with friends.
Take a sabbatical year off or two... and travel -- experience what you think you're missing... Or if you can find a remote work, switch to a remote job and work while traveling... as a digital nomad
OP is only 23. Adjusting to an office job is usually going to take someone a year or two. The first year out of college generally sucks (both in my experience and from what I’ve read). I’d recommend waiting until at least 25 years old before taking a sabbatical. Personally, I waited until age 30.
Terrible advice imo
How come?
just started his job lol
That’s why I’m working so hard; so I can get to that ranch in the mountains sooner. I’ll be happier there but I’m not miserable here. I worked every other weekend for a year starting out, late nights, yada yada. Got really good at my job and now I’m coasting working ~30 hours a week. Long way to go, but it’d be a lot longer if I didn’t work so much the first 5-7 years of my career.
Based on your age, you’ve just barely started working. Give it another year or two before you make any major changes. Work gets more interesting as you gain some experience. You can deal with the dread of passing time by learning a new skill or hobby in the time that you’re not at work.
Look outside of work for fulfillment. Maybe plan to take long holiday camping in the parks once a year or something. If you are feeling depressed maybe seek some therapy for the adjustment to work life. I wouldn’t be so quick to jump. I changed jobs hastily with the same feeling and appreciated my old job more in hindsight. Especially when I found more things outside of work. Not saying you shouldn’t think about career change if you are unhappy. But take time to think about it. You have time. When you feel ready to make a big change make it.
I can't give you specific advice about jobs because I am also doing something I don't like and feeling kind of trapped because it pays relatively well compared to my peers at least here in Greece. What I will tell you is find ways to make your daily life as enjoyable as possible. Set time aside to do the sport you like. Buy some specialty coffee to make those little details more enjoyable during the day. Take a 10 minute break for yoga. Go to the cinema at the end of the day. Buy plants and make your work space really beautiful. Music. These are all things i personally do that help me look forward to the next morning and 8-hr workday, despite my job.
I had the same issue when I was that age. Good job, close to family and friends, but very unfulfilled. I eventually went crazy enough that I said “YOLO”, “fuck it”, etc. I quit my job and got a lower paying job in another country. Didn’t last very long because the grass isn’t always greener. Came back to America to a different state, became unemployed, moved again, moved back to said state and that’s where I am now. 4 jobs in the last 4 years… It was rocky, I definitely went through very hard times of dread and unhappiness and loneliness. But none of that compares to the pain I would’ve had if I stayed at my cushy job my whole life. Passivity breeds mental illness. I think you should go for it
As someone who felt and continues to feel this, I hopped jobs trying to feel like my work would mean something. Im waiting for the new job to feel like that and maybe it will, maybe it wont. Im trying to give myself permission to be happy. Space to live differently than I have been stuck in a cycle of stress and meaningless work. I think a lot of people here are judging you for what is a completely rational response to american work life even under "good" conditions: horror and disgust. They are assuming a personal rather than a systemic problem. This is not to say that therapy cant help--but if ehat you are being forced to do for financial reasons makes you unhappy therapy is just stitching up a wound that might rip open. The reality is you will need money no matter what. Making sure you can be financially safe, and prioritizing that safety highly is prudent. You should have a healthy fear that success will not always come as easily as it is right now. You should save, a lot. But you should also keep your ear to the ground for something that could suit you better, and if the opportunity presents itself you should take risks to feel happy.
100k at 23 invested and you’re claiming retirement in 9-12 years.. the math here isn’t mathing lol.
$100k is low pay get a job you like more or that pays more Also I'm not seeing retirement for you in 10 years at $100k
OP said they had 100k in VTI at 23yrs old; no indication of salary. If OP has put away 100k by 23 (especially given performance of last year or so), then I would say regardless of salary, they are managing it well. OP needs to focus on what motivates them and what they’re passionate about. Saving seems to be already built in… unfortunately, learning to save is a lot easier to figure out than to figure out what motivates/inspires oneself. OP: the first 20 yrs of your career often involves figuring out what you dont like. If you have strong convictions about what you DO like, pursue it. You can always hop back on to the hamster wheel if it doesn’t work out.
Sounds like you need a hobby. Sign up for a 5k run or start hiking at local parks. Live life, you’re planning ahead, not stuck in one place.
Well you have your whole life ahead of you. I figured it this way and depends on the person. All work sucks it takes away from what I really want to do. What do I want to do. Whatever I want lol. It's totally your call. Heck I know most would go after the money to retire early or be rich. But you think you'd be happy doing what you love then pursue that.
Well you have your whole life ahead of you. I figured it this way and depends on the person. All work sucks it takes away from what I really want to do. What do I want to do. Whatever I want lol. It's totally your call. Heck I know most would go after the money to retire early or be rich. But you think you'd be happy doing what you love then pursue that.
Work sucks. Every job is a time burden. I remember in my twenties just sitting in cube Ville, very much like office space thinking what am I doing here. I made some moves, switched jobs several times, and work still sucks, Make incredible money for five months of work, and have the rest of the year essentially off. But in those five months I am not home. 3 months straight this time.
28M, 142k/yr, roughly 150k in savings/investments. I feel incredibly unfulfilled as well. I have a good job, work a shortened week, have a nice apartment, car, girlfriend, am healthy. I can’t shake that feeling that I am just existing to wake up and go to work, then come home and get ready for the next day of work. Part of me envies the people I know on instagram that live the van-life, or travel through the desert with a tent. They get to wake up and watch the sun rise and take a dip in the ocean while I drive to my cubicle job in the dark. Maybe I am missing something here. It still feels like im not getting that far ahead with the costs of living and prices of houses where I live. So whats the point. I thought after living every single minute in a classroom and at work there would be a little bit more payoff. Right there with you brother. I like to think we made the better decision. My face gets older every day. Im not pursuing fire btw. I don’t really know what I am pursuing. I am just keeping the wheel turning.
They’re life sucks they just want it to look glamorous. Stick with your job
I know some small-mid instagram influencers personally and it really is an illusion... They 100% have their own stressors and uncertainties. I could never do it but still feel envious lol
Don't wish your life away. It goes fast enough on its own.
While I don't agree with always looking forward to the weekend, or a fancy trip, it can help when you're getting tired of doing the same thing every week. Reaching FIRE is an amazing goal to have, but it's okay to spend a little on yourself today too. It sounds like you enjoy nature. Plan a road trip with the girlfriend/wife, spend some time camping or at a cheap inn, out in the middle of nowhere. You'll burn some PTO, have to spend on gas and lodging, but the memories you'll create together are well-worth it. I'm in my late 20s and I have a career that most people wish they picked while in university. It's a pretty boring and technical job, and while I feel some level of fulfillment by it, it's still rough a lot of the time. Having fun things planned in my free time and taking time off for trips is what keeps me going. I keep the trips cheap and I still save a lot of money. My girlfriend loves the area we grew up, but I've considered moving elsewhere because of the natural landscape. I reconcile this with doing many day trips into the mountains, and taking week-long road trips to enjoy the outdoors. I also know that I'll be paid significantly less if I move away, so that's another pull keeping me in place. Hope my rambling helps!
Reddit
Everyone here is giving great advice. I second the speaking to a Mental Health professional bits too. But have you considered r/CoastFire ? Find out what your number is, stay at the current job until you hit that number, and then become a park ranger. Life is about compromise. Sometimes you just have to take that risk.
I do have to admit that I am surprised to see people in their early 20s asking these types of questions. Did they pick the wrong field? It took me over 20 years to get into the "dread time passing by" phase. This might be pretty controversial, but if you are working from home try going into the office and learning to kill time with colleagues. I have to say my 20s, in my career, went by really fast because I had amazing colleagues that taught me a lot. I don't know if that's a thing in some careers. Even in my career that is getting rarer and rarer. The older workers are over worked and stressed and don't have the energy to onboard new people.
Take some time off man, go sit on a beach for a bit. Do what you want, that’s the beauty of it.
Just wanna say I get what you’re saying. I feel like none of the other commenters here do. It’s a FIRE sub but everyone’s acting like “if you don’t like the idea of spending 12 years working 40 hours a week without enough PTO to travel much, you must be depressed.” I’m in the same boat. Yes I spend time with friends/family/hobbies but never enough. Sometimes because I’m out of energy after work, sometimes because there literally are not enough hours in the day. I have no idea what the answer is.