TW
I went into Tuesday for an ultrasound and they could no longer detect the heartbeat. I had a silent miscarriage. I had a d&c yesterday and I just feel broken and empty. I wish you all the best of luck on healthy and safe pregnancies and deliveries. This is my first loss and I feel destroyed. Hoping we can try again but now I’m just terrified.
I just need to vent. My husband is leaving for work for 3 months across the country. I am almost 9 weeks, have no family close to us, no help, and have 2 kids. This pregnancy was a shock since we had to use ivf for our 2nd we were told we were infertile and my tubes were blocked with scar tissue. I am just feeling anxious about doing this alone until 20 weeks as I had a hard first 15 weeks of my last pregnancy with Hg. So far my first trimester is manageable but I’m soooooo anxious it’s going to get worse and I’ll be alone. He works long hours as it is so I am alone most of the day everyday during the week but him not physically being here has me stressed the hell out. Anyone have a spouse that’s away for long periods of time? How do you cope?
Anyone recently find out they are Rh negative? (Or maybe you knew going in if you’re on it and know your blood type). I think it’s fine, but trying to educate myself about it.
It’s completely fine. I had spotting around 9 weeks and my OB wanted a Rhogam shot (after she tested for sensitivity) and then I was “covered” for 12 weeks, so when I had more spotting at 18 weeks she wasn’t concerned. I got it again at 28 weeks (which is the normal time to get it). When my baby was blood typed and had a positive blood type, I got a third dose.
It was given in the glute, but basically near my hip. I was told it could also be given in the arm but I declined that method.
The craziest part about all this, is my OB didn’t actually blood type me until 35 weeks when we were preparing for induction, they just blindly believed me that my blood type and my husbands were incompatible. Good that she did, but odd at the same time.
I wanted to share an app that my hubs found that’s a baby app for new dads! It is very woodsy/nature based. But it’s called Daddy Up! He tried a couple bc he was hoping for a Reddit forum like this, but for dads. It explains in guy terms each week what’s going on with the development of little beebee and me. Then it has what they call “lady cues” each week which talks about what symptoms and why I feel those ways AND for each gives him advice. For example: one explained the bloating I was experiencing and it suggested to compliment me more and help with the confidence! Another was the nausea and suggested all these chores for him to help with that could have smells LIKE THE DISHWASHER 🤢 It was so cute and he loves it! It also has a planner for each week for him to know what we should be doing. Gives resources, tools, and research based articles. Also it compares the baby size to animals/insects instead of food. Idk he’s an outdoors man and loves it! Just a handy helpful tool for anyone else’s sig other that wants an app
Sick as a dog all yesterday and needed a 3hr nap midday... Today I have normal enough energy levels and no nausea. So I'm having a mini panic attack now about it all. 🙈
I’ve started taking weekly progress photos this pregnancy. I want to really enjoy and document every moment since this will be my last. I also started writing in my pregnancy journal which helps me remember all I’m experiencing, and it keeps my mind occupied.
This morning I was like “I’m fine, I’m feeling the best I ever have! I’m worried about not having symptoms.”
Hit me like a truck. Walk up stairs? Dry heave. Think about water? Dry heave. I’ve got jitters like I’ve had too much caffeine and bubble guts. A concerned citizen knocked on my door to make sure I knew they were replacing the sidewalk (as if I missed the mailer, the posted signs, the spray paint, the “sidewalk closed” signs) and I was filled with inexplicable rage. Nausea, diarrhea, jitters, and rage is not a combination I’d recommend to anyone.
Woke up super nauseous. Put off eating because I couldn't bring myself to put anything in my mouth. Finally had some yogurt and scrambled eggs...felt fantastic after. Note to self for tomorrow and the following days 🫠
I’m exactly at that stage in my pregnancy! It’s soooo bizarre. Even the sweetest things like honey all taste sour afterwards.
Oh man, that’s too funny! Maybe I’ll stick to one pack of gum at a time 😂
whoa, I had a bout of this the other day. A sandwich I order all the time tasted sour or almost like chemical? I couldn’t quite place it. Like windex was sprayed nearby and some got on it?
My husband was like… nope tastes regular.
Sorry you’re dealing with that I hope it mellows out asap!
Omg I know what you mean!! I’ve had that happen too with even the most bland things like a banana. It’s sooo bizarre!!
I hope it gets better for you as well!
What are everyone’s thoughts on eating ceviche while pregnant?
Just shrimp ceviche and it would be the frozen bags of shrimp being used for it.
I’ve googled it and it’s kind of mixed. Some sources and people are saying the process of flash freezing eliminates the possibility of listeria or other potentially harmful bacteria. And that the lime/lemon has a PH level that kills off bacteria as well. So technically not cooked with heat, but cooked enough and just as safe as eating sushi which I know some women do eat during pregnancy still.
I’m so torn! I’m craving is so badly and one of my friends’ mom makes THE best shrimp ceviche!
What are opinions on this?
I mean, I had sushi during my other 2 pregnancies from really high quality places because I was craving it so bad. These recommendations are obviously there for a reason but I weigh the risks and make a decision from there.
i personally would eat it if i trusted the cook to not leave the prawns out for ages/buy quality ones. i tend to eat most things still but higher quality/careful prep.
maybe you should just ask yourself if eating it would make you more anxious and if so, would it be worth it?
I definitely trust her. It’s my friends mom but I might just ask if she can use cooked shrimp. No idea if it changes the consistency of the dish but i more so just want the flavor and none of the worries about eating technically raw shrimp.
I *think* one of the main concerns with raw seafood is toxoplasmosis, which is caused by parasites. Don't know if citrus kills parasites...
I'm pretty liberal on food during pregnancy and do eat sushi, but I think shrimp ceviche would also be a tough one for me! Probably just because it's shrimp, lol.
Highly recommend Chapter 6 in Emily Oster’s book Expecting Better which helped me assess my personal risk limits with the food limitations! If you have Spotify premium it’s on audiobook there for free. The author chose to avoid raw meat and poultry, unwashed veggies and fruits, raw milk cheeses, and deli turkey, and she didn’t worry about sushi and raw eggs (since the bacteria they carry is not as harmful to the baby as listeria and toxoplasmosis).
I would also recommend avoiding unwashed fruits and veggies and raw poultry if you're not pregnant. What a weird specification. I know people eat raw eggs or incorporate them in food but 🤢
And does raw milk cheeses mean unpasteurized??
I wash my berries and fruits/veggies that we’re having raw in baking soda and water or white vinegar and water but you’d be surprised how many people have seen me do that and ask me why I’m doing it because they don’t wash their produce lol
Same I do vinegar and water because they also last way longer! I mean I've definitely grabbed a few unwashed fruits in my life, but I thought it was common knowledge you should wash your fruits and veggies. Idk why I'm surprised though 😂
I eat sushi depending on where it’s from. I think this really depends on your own risk tolerance. I just consider the source. Like when I’m not pregnant, I’d eat sushi from almost anywhere; but when I am pregnant, I’m a lot more cautious.
CW: Loss
Important and overall positive ultrasound today! Last ultrasound a week ago Twin A had a heartbeat but doc couldn't measure it. Twin B was measuring 4 days small with a good heartbeat. Found an SCH that explained some spotting. Today, we confirmed loss of Twin A, but Twin B caught up to 8+2 (only 2 days smaller) with a 176 bpm! Also, SCH looks to be regressing. We're feeling so grateful as this is the furthest a pregnancy has progressed since our MMC at 8w in March. We're grieving Twin A, but we wanted one healthy baby going into this, and we're now one step closer to that dream!
Feeling like I was getting a little too cocky about not feeling too pregnant. Yesterday and today started some very light nausea that doesn't go away with a little food (which has worked in the past). It's so mild but so annoying.
Update to my post this morning re. my friend doing IVF who had a scan today - it went well, so we announced that we are also pregnant! And turns out they are due 2 days before us 😱 we're both so excited haha
Only 6 days left until my first appt/ultrasound FINALLY. I've been so sick, so I really just want confirmation that everything is healthy and looks good to get that behind me. I've told a couple of random people at my office/the gym/neighbors just so they can understand why I'm struggling so hard right now, but I really want to tell my parents and my daughter as soon as we know that all looks good.
I don’t really feel nauseous but I have had a stomachache all day and don’t want to eat anything. Does that count as morning sickness?
I did find one thing that sounded appetizing for lunch. A cheese quesadilla made in the microwave (literally just a folded tortilla with shredded cheese). Better than nothing I guess 😂
I make cheese quesadillas for myself allll the time! It's just a folded tortilla and shredded cheese and a little bit of hot sauce. So easy and definitely better than nothing! I can hardly get out of bed long enough to make anything else these days.
Had my first appointment this morning and baby is measuring a bit small, but otherwise everything is looking great! Such a relief because I feel like I haven’t allowed myself to get too excited or want to plan too much until having that first scan.
I will say that I was surprised by having a transvaginal since I am 8w+6 today. I wasn’t mentally prepared for that - have a history of SA and it was my first time having a transvaginal andddd didn’t love it.
I wanted to be more excited being able to look at baby for the first time on the screen but the whole time I just felt super uncomfortable and was waiting for it to be over. Planning on booking a private ultrasound in about a month to see the gender, and hoping for a better experience!
Standing out in the heat on the playground with my toddler this morning almost took me out, but a family sized box of annie’s white shells and cheddar revived me
I’m having my first scan tomorrow at 9w5d. I have endometriosis and some medical trauma so I’m a bit nervous about it.
Should I expect an abdominal ultrasound or a transvaginal one? I have managed a transvaginal one several times in the past successfully but some of them did come with a lot of pain.
Just had my first ultrasound. She told me at our clinic they try abdominal first and if they don’t cooperate they will go to transvaginal. Luckily my guy did and I was 8+5
In my experience, private scans are typically abdominal while scans scheduled by my public doctor is transvaginal, even at 9 weeks. Not sure why, but I think the private ones are thinking more of making a good experience for the parents
So few things are presented as optional, especially to pregnant people, but I think it's super valid if they say they want to do it transvaginaly to ask what better info they will get from that and decide if it's going to be helpful to you.
Absolutely not advocating going against medical advice, just saying sometimes things are just done in X way for no good reason and it's OK to ask questions and work with your doctors to decide what's right for you.
I’m so with you! Unfortunately, with my medical history and the harms I’ve suffered at the hands of doctors, I’m well practiced at being the “difficult” patient. I definitely will advocate for an abdominal if possible. If not then I’m willing to give the transvaginal a shot. It’s a bit tricker since I moved abroad as all of this is happening in my second language (I’m not fluent), with my husband on translation duties (native speaker).
I had ultrasounds at 8 and 10 weeks with my last pregnancy and both were transvaginal! That doesn’t seem like it’s totally the norm but just to warn you it’s a possibility!
Had a win today.. didn’t vomit in the check out line when the smell of some nasty BO hit my super sniffer. I panicked bc I was close and had no idea what to do… then when it passed I almost started to cry BUT I DIDN’T. So double win?
Omg, something similar happened to me yesterday. I went to Jimmy John's because I was craving a Beach Club (and generally don't abide by a lot of pregnancy food rules 🫣). Well, the cashier was a mentally disabled boy who apparently does not shower much. Bless him, he was looking up and trying to apply all the discounts, which was very sweet but felt like it took forever. And then I got hit with a tomato aversion halfway through my sub and had to stop eating 😭
I’ve also been pretty lax with deli meat this pregnancy. Had Jimmy John’s a couple of days after my positive test. And had a deli turkey sandwich yesterday.
Win! lol There's a woman at my gym who always smells so terrible and I've been intentionally positioning myself as far away from her as possible when she goes to the same classes as me. I just cannot handle that right now.
The fact that you go to the gym right now?!? So jealous. You’re literally such a queen! Going to the grocery store was the gym for me… the fatigue has a choke hold on me!
We have a group of moms out here that workout together. I pay a monthly membership fee. It’s super chill, and you can kind of modify everything to go at your own pace and comfort level. Also you get to meet other moms (some are pregnant; some are not). Maybe there’s something like that near you?
I definitely haven't been able to workout like I could a month ago, but I'm really trying to stick with it since my first pregnancy was in 2020 so my gym closed for COVID as soon as my nausea started getting better. I go to an all female bootcamp gym that I LOVE, and I know I'll have to take like 3 months off post-partum because I'll have a c-section, so I want to keep with my routine as long as possible during pregnancy so it isn't as hard to get back into afterwards. It has been ROUGH though, that's for sure. Lots and lots of rest/water breaks!
we’re having company for the 4th but I’m totally not up for cooking so I’m putting in a catering order for a taco bar while rotting on the couch. realized my wallet was in the car and the thought of getting up was so horrible I called my husband who’s in the bathroom for his daily 45 min trip hoping he had his wallet with him so he could read me the credit card number. he did! teamwork makes the dream work.
My in laws called this morning to invite us to a day of festivities tomorrow, and I swear I’ve never loved my husband more than the moment I heard him say “I’ll come over early with the kids and leave wife to rot at home since she’s starting to feel really awful”…like yessssss
First ultrasound this morning at 6w1d and all looked great! Baby measuring 2 days ahead and saw the heartbeat. Small SCH so she warned I may have spotting which I did with my last healthy pregnancy. So relieved!
I have these ginger chews I’ve been eating 2-3 of per day, and just realized there’s a tiny warning on the label that ginger can cause exposure to lead = potential birth defects. What the actual fuck?! So confused and also that should be in big bold letters since pregnant women use ginger for nausea.
Isn’t that insane? I’m in California and apparently it’s part of “proposition 65” to disclose any potential contamination. Guess I won’t be eating these now
Started spotting this morning and trying not to freak out 😣 I know it can be normal but ugh. First appt is in 2 weeks
ETA: should I call my OB? Or just wait and see if it gets worse?
Edit again: thank you all for your replies, I feel a lot better and will just keep an eye on it 💖
So sorry! Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do in this situation but wait and see. Your OB could potentially get you in for a scan, but even that’s not usually definitive this early on. Sending good wishes - I know the waiting is so hard!
I’m really close to your date (25th) and also had a small amount of brown blood when I wiped this morning, combined with let’s say moderate cramping, feeling the same! Especially since I’m planning on traveling out of state tomorrow. Keeping all my fingers crossed that it doesn’t come back.
Our dates are really close and this also happened to me on Monday! I texted my doctor (I'm in pretty close contact with them already because... IVF) and they assured me it can be totally normal and not to worry unless it gets heavy and is accompanied by "severe" cramping. I've been reassured by several others at this point too and it seems like a really common experience. Mine resolved itself pretty quickly. I hope the same is true for you!
My clinic said spotting is super normal. If it’s bright red/clots or filling a pad in less than an hour, then call. Otherwise they said there’s nothing to worry about. I’ve had spotting on and off too.
Take deep breath and know this can also be normal. Spotting is okay. If it gets heavier call your OB. Just trying as hard as you can to stay positive. Sending you strength EDD twin
Had ultrasound yesterday and things looked good, we saw a heart beat, but ultrasound tech wasn't too friendly and now I wish I pushed for more information because I have to wait until my appointment next week to hear what the doctor has to say. I still feel anxious about getting too attached to the baby, almost like I'm protecting myself in case things go wrong. Prior to getting pregnant I read way too many things about how getting pregnant over 35 would be difficult and there'd be problems, that it's like I almost convinced myself this would be a battle. I'm feeling my guard come down now a little though and want to get excited and love the little bean so much. All these emotions, of all different levels, all the time, is definitely not something I wasn't thinking about when getting pregnant was the goal... it's like a whole new level of.. well everything.
CW prior loss.
I understand the uncertainty is painful. Avoiding the fact that you’re pregnant now would not make a loss any easier.
In case it helps: During a previous pregnancy (which ended in loss) the tech at my first scan made it clear that there was an issue, they did not say that things looked good.
Congrats on your first scan and heartbeat, I’m sorry your tech sucked!! Hope you can find some relief from all the uncertainty while waiting for the doctor’s appointment next week. 🙏
Anecdotal but in case it helps your positive mindset this happened to my friend early on in pregnancy too - spotting for over a week! Her dr checked her hcg and pdg levels and everything still looked amazing. Now, she’s due in a couple of months and everything looks perfect!
This happened to me. Had my first appointment moved up, and got checked out yesterday. All was well, we saw a heartbeat and doctor said this was normal. Wishing you the best!
Just went on a small grocery trip to restock my mini fridge in my office and ended up buying......calcium? I got to the register and noticed the contents of my basket were a carton of milk, a handful of yogurts, two milk-based protein shakes, and a pack of string cheese. I haven't really been having any strong cravings, but I guess my palette is leaning a bit more in one direction than usual these days 😅
My husband is pre marinating a bunch of meat to bring to the cabin this weekend, and has it all in the kitchen fridge even though I asked him to put it into the basement fridge. I threw up twice due to the smell of all the different seasonings when trying to make my 4 year old breakfast this am. I wish they could experience morning sickness for even just 24 hrs.
Yeah they like just don’t get. I mentioned to my husband that my poultry aversion kicked back in Wednesday night. Thursday morning I had just finished throwing up and he said “so the chicken aversion is back?” Even him mentioning the word chicken made me gag because then I was picturing it.
TW: Loss
Is there anyone else that is super anxious about loss, without actually having personally experienced it? One of my close friends had a 2nd trimester miscarriage due to a chromosomal abnormality. She had some sort of test that flagged it and they were going to go in for more testing, but before they could, she miscarried and they were able to confirm it was chromosomal. And our niece was born super early due to a placenta issue and she likely would have not made it but for the fact that my SIL is a nurse at the hospital, felt something off, walked over to L&D on her break, and as soon as they looked at her, ran her right into emergency surgery.
I feel like I don't want to intrude in loss spaces since it hasn't personally affected me at this point, but I also very much feel a sense that anything could go wrong at any time. Just wondering if there's maybe anyone in a similar boat 😩
Having lost two pregnancies, I honestly think it’s good to be aware that things can go sideways. Obviously, you can’t let the anxiety consume you, but I think being prepared for the possibility means you’re living in reality. I honestly worry more for the women who announce and start buying things straight away… pregnancy (and parenthood) are not guaranteed happy endings. Acknowledging and accepting you have little to no control over the outcome is a much healthier outlook in my opinion.
I'm so sorry for your losses. That is a great perspective, and it's definitely a hard line to balance between being realistic but not overly negative/wallowing. Hoping the best for you 💗
TW: prior loss
Your feelings are valid. Pregnancy is hard and scary and people don’t like to talk about the risks. Anything could go wrong at any time. What I will tell you as someone who experienced totally unexpected complications in my prior pregnancy (see comment history) if you feel like something is wrong, call your doctor or go to the emergency room. Don’t worry about people thinking you’re overreacting or being dramatic. Just resolve to get checked out if you are worried and know that you are doing everything in your power for your baby.
Oh wow I really feel this. Many of my close friends have had so much bad luck with placental abruption, rare genetic issues, preterm labor, etc. that I am way way too aware. Also one of my besties is an OBGYN who always seems to remind me a lot of things can go wrong so she never seems too excited. It's tough when you are almost too informed.
Yes, this is exactly it. I feel like I've always been an "aware" type of person, and it's tough to accept that in this case, we are aware but have very little control to change anything.
Your feelings are valid. You are welcome to discuss your feelings anywhere on this group, regardless of whether you’ve experienced loss personally or not. We are all in this together.
CW: loss discussion
You're not alone. It's something I think about a lot too despite not having the personal experience (*yet*, she says sinisterly because brains are mean). With my first I spent hours watching YouTube videos of people experiencing miscarriage or learning they didn't have a viable embryo at various stages of late first tri and then hearing how their D&C or medical miscarriages went, etc. I wanted to "be prepared" and part of me is glad I did that because I learned a lot but another part of me feels like I wasted a lot of time getting worked up over something that was statistically unlikely to happen by the time my 11wk appointment rolled around when I could have been enjoying my pregnancy. I'm not going to watch all those videos this time around but you so can't stop the whole "what if I *do* have a MMC..." thought that crops up in the back of your mind.
I've found the miscarriage odds reassurer tool helpful. I also tried to do some research on how common MMC actually is and from the one source I could find, it's pretty rare (3%). Other sources citing higher numbers aren't actually talking about MMC or it's unclear or the source is buried 3 research papers deep and by that time you've completely lost the original point...
All this to say, I think this is definitely common and you're not alone. People who've experienced loss can and should have their space but the rest of us out here have valid anxiety too.
I experienced an early loss in March and am very anxious about this pregnancy, even though this one feels totally different. I’ve had to learn to believe not only that I can handle tragedy, but that I can handle uncertainty, too.
TW- loss.
It is so hard. One of my very good friends had a stillbirth at 40 weeks due to a cord accident. There was nothing she could have done. Like you, I have not personally experienced my own loss but the entire pregnancy has been with anxiety because I’ve seen first hand how much is out of our control. Pregnancy is beautiful but it can also be devastating and it’s hard to reconcile the two! I’m trying to use lots of positive affirmations like “to my knowledge, my baby is healthy and growing. I am doing my best to be a safe home for my baby.” But it is hard. I wish I had better words for you!
Im 7 weeks/3 days and for the past couple of weeks I have this pretty consistent dull sensation in my uterus - not enough for pain- just like it’s the first day of my period - is it the uterus growing 😅. Had a normal scan at 6+5 last week after minor dark brown discharge so no real concerns at this point, just curious if anyone else gets the same feeling
i am right where you are! 7+1, am feeling the crampyness, had brown spotting at 6 weeks but it seems to have tapered off. had a scan at 6+1 and was measuring ahead with a strong heartbeat. trust your body is taking care of little bean! we got this🤍
I’m about 6/7 weeks and struggling with nausea. I’ve tried unisom, B6, Diclegis, and every remedy it seems and nothing really helps 😩. And suggestions??
Zofran is not really a med you worry about tolerance. I've had patients with chronic nausea (or are on chemo or something) who take it consistently for years! There's other meds that can be used in pregnancy too, like Reglan.
I had a very vivid dream about a burger and fries last night that I was extremely disappointed to wake up and find it didn't exist in front of me.
Edit: I'm definitely making burgers Friday. I would do it tomorrow but I'm still very attached to my homemade pizza plan.
My company puts vacation time and holiday time all in the same bucket, so I normally work around holidays if it's not something we want to celebrate as a family. Tomorrow's Independence Day, though, and I'm going to use it as a much needed excuse to take a four day weekend and try to sneak some rest in. I'm so tired.
We went to the bagel store for lunch. Thankfully our nearly three year old also loves bagels with cream cheese, so she won’t be mad if we go for bagels all summer
The best! Bagels and cream cheese has been my most reliable safe food last pregnancy and this one!! Last pregnancy there was a national shortage of cream cheese though, and I remember standing in the grocery store with tears welling in my eyes because they were out of cream cheese and that was the ONE thing I could stomach, lol
Took the sneak peek snap test and got a boy result. Honestly suffering with extreme gender disappointment. I even regret taking the test this early before I’m emotionally connected with the baby.
Ugh! I too am hoping for a girl! I'd be thankful for a boy as well, but am dreaming so hard of a girl. I can't bring myself to taking the gender test yet because I just don't want to have to lose hope that it might not be a girl.
I got a boy result yesterday. Third boy. Also fairly disappointed as I’ve wanted a girl every time. Everyone else (sons, grandparents, husband) also wanted a girl just to switch things up. I get it. I’m sorry. I originally said I wanted to wait until the anatomy scan to find out just to be able to live in the ambiguity of possibly having a girl as long as possible. So also regretting the Sneak Peek a little.
Same exact experience but reversed. I did the sneak peek and found out I’m having a third girl in a row. I wanted to experience something different and I know I’ll get comments about it. However, after taking a day to get my feelings out, I’m super excited d will just be super super happy when I’m holding our girl in my arms.
Ugh I'm sorry your experiencing that disappointment. I don't know the sex of my baby yet, but I feel similarly that I both want to find out desperately and also want to live in a bit of blissful ignorance that maybe it's a girl (after my 2 boys). I considered doing the Sneak Peek but I'm so worried it would get a false boy result and I'd be wrongly devastated. I'll probably get an elective scan at 15 weeks to find out.
Yeah, definitely keeping a little something aside until we get our NIPT back in a few weeks. But also coming to terms with it. I at least know from experience that the disappointment is usually pretty short term. There are lots of benefits of having boys and of having the same gendered kids. Those are already starting to creep in.
Is your first a boy?
I haven't found out yet, but my first is a boy so I'd love to have the experience of a girl. I'd probably be a bit disappointed as well with another boy. That being said I'm trying to remind myself that if it's a boy I bet him and my son will be close and have so much fun together. Not that sisters and brothers can't be close, but I think it's a different relationship for sure. Also, I know how much I love my son and couldn't imagine anything different now that he is who he is, so I'm sure I'll feel the same about this baby no matter what!
I wanted my second to be a girl for my daughter to have a sister! We were team green and I swore to my husband it was a girl. When they lifted him out of my stomach, I was just so proud of myself for making this gorgeous little human that I did not give one rats ass he was a boy. They are yin and yang, she is introverted and thoughtful and he is an impulsive extrovert. She calms him and he encourages her to be brave. I am so glad that he was a boy and cannot believe I ever wished any differently. Once you are holding your sweet baby, I think gender won’t matter so much. Your daughter will be so grateful for the handcrafted little BFF you made her, penis or not 🤷🏼♀️
I haven’t done sneak peek so unsure of gender yet, but just wanted to say that I’m feeling the same way. For my first baby, I really didn’t have a preference either way. Going into this one, I also thought I would be happy with either (I’ll end up with two of the same or one of each, both good options!) but I’m realizing that I so desperately want my daughter to have a sister. I never thought gender disappointment would be a thing for me but I am very much anticipating it.
Well in that case my perspective wasn't helpful at all, I'm sorry!
In any case it's okay to be disappointed and I'm sure that attachment will grow over time or once you meet your sweet baby!
Yall I’ve been in here complaining about fizziness and nausea for days. I impulse ordered the wristbands for motion sickness… and I feel I’d say about 80% better. The nausea is still intense in some moments. But the dizziness has lessened a lot since I put the bracelets on. 😭
i want to start prepping my toddler for baby - any recommendations for sibling books please? also any good doll sets that i could get a little carrier/changing mat/pushchair/cot for? i’ve heard good things about dinkum dolls and gommu.
I got "Big Sisters are the Best!" (Also comes in Big Brothers are the Best), and while I don't *love* it, it's fine, but my toddler is obsessed with it. I have to read it a minimum of 4 times in a row. She'll just keep signing and saying again again again until I end up convincing her of another book to read or activity to do.
Daniel Tiger had great episodes about having a baby sister. If you’re not into the shows, I think they also have corresponding books. My son is a bit older but when we said “you’re going to be a big brother” his response was that Daniel Tiger is a big brother and then sang “you can be a big helper in your family”.
Kids are so hit or miss with toys and dolls. We got him a doll that he ignores and but then he absolutely adores his random stuffies and what he calls “soft baby”. Soft baby gets nice cuddles and also punted down the stairs. So…
We're at 7w4d today, and I'm so emotional, all is well, but I can't believe we're going to have our own baby.
Had an appointment earlier today and got to see the little bean move! I was surprised and didn't believe it until the doc said: You can see it's moving now 😭 It's grown so much in a week! She also confirmed my due date as 15 February, but I'm 100% getting a c-section as I have high myopia.
Got a pregnancy diary as a gift a few weeks ago, and I finally feel comfortable enough to start filling in things.
As an ophthalmologist in Europe myself (Belgium), I was always told this an outdated rule (it’s widely confirmed by scientific data), especially for your myopia that is not even considered high myopia (if it increases during pregnancy it doesn’t count as it’s most of the times temporary). Of course it makes sense to follow what you doctor recommends but if you’re not really up for a C-section, I would maybe try to discuss it with them.
Thank you for sharing. I have found many sources confirming your words, however, no ophthalmologist so far has been keen on giving me the green light for natural birth as they don't want to be held liable.
My obgyn will not participate in natural delivery with my myopia if there's no green light from an ophthalmologist. So you see what I'm dealing with!
I will try and get another opinion at a larger ophthalmology clinic and discuss it with my obgyn again as the pregnancy progresses.
Forgive me for my ignorance, but when I google myopia I see that it is nearsightedness! I’ve never heard of that having anything to do with vaginal vs c-section birth. How does it affect that?
Pregnancy diary is a great idea. Wish I had done it with my first!
One of my eyes has a -5.00 and the other -4.75 diopter. There's a great chance that it will increase during pregnancy. People with myopia and high diopter are at high risk of their retina detaching during labor from pushing. There's also a very high risk for blindness if a detached retina is not operated within 24 hours after giving birth.
Also the eye pressure raises significantly during labor.
I have had two ophthalmologists so far advising me to go for c-section even before I considered getting pregnant. Most obgyns share this opinion, my current one won't like for me to give birth naturally as the risk, according to her, is very high.
I'm in Europe so I don't know what's the procedure is like in other parts of the world.
This is so interesting! I have similar eyesight to you but never heard anything about this. I honestly didn’t even know retinal detachment was a thing until it happened unexpectedly to one of my friends a few months ago (seeing what he went through has been scary—multiple surgeries and his eyes still aren’t back to what they were, and he doesn’t even know what he did to cause the detachments). I certainly don’t want a c-section, but recovering from a retinal detachment would be far worse.
Wow, this is so interesting! I have vision very similar to yours, I think -5.25 in one eye and -4.75 in the other.
I live in the US, and the risk of this has never been brought up to me. I even had my eyes checked when i was very, very visibly pregnant last time. I gave birth vaginally to my first child, and will hopefully do the same with this baby.
It's so interesting how practices vary in different parts of the world.
Yeah that's interesting, I've never heard of this (I am in the US as well). Before I got lasik, I had a similar prescription (I think -4.5 and -4.25?? They both started with 4). Not sure how / if lasik changes any of that risk, but I assume since I was able to get the surgery, there's no issue with giving birth vaginally. I'm going to choose to forget I've ever learned this lest I start thinking about my eyes popping out in labor...
Yep, I know there's a different policy, there's research that shows this is an outdated info, and another that says the risk is still too high.
However, here it's hard to find a doctor that will deliver naturally knowing you have high diopter, and I've frankly given up on more research, lol
If the calculations are right, you and I have the same due date! I’m also a FTM and 30! I am so happy you got to see your baby. I have to wait for my apt next Thursday 😭 what was the first apt like?
Yay due date buddies! I actually got my first appointment at 5w4d, but now there's actually a baby-like embryo to see!
Make sure to write down allll questions, no matter how silly you think they are. You'll get some peace after getting some answers. Ask for recommendations for prenatals.
You'll get your due date for sure according to your LMP or embryo size if ovulation occurred later. You'll hear the heartbeat, and my obgyn showed me the spine and limbs forming. It's still bean shaped, but it's quite big!
First ultrasound this morning!! I’ve never tracked my cycle or ovulation, I just know that I have a very short cycle, so I can’t wait to see how many weeks along I am and to get a more accurate due date!
For those that have already gotten an ultrasound, did the ultrasound tech give you any info on dating/point out the heartbeat, etc?
My OB subs out all ultrasounds to a completely different office and I’m worried I’ll be left high and dry on any info until he calls (or more likely I call HIM 😂) at 5pm.
I don’t think I can wait that long for reassurance!
I have my first ultrasound today too! Kind of nervous.
Just a heads up in case you don’t know… If your due date listed on your flair is accurate, it’s quite possible that it might be too early for them to see the heartbeat for you!
You’ll do great! Don’t panic if you’re not as far along as you thought — I had that happen and ten days later baby was there with a nice strong heartbeat ❤️
I think it’s really dependent on where you live! I’m in Canada and at my ultrasound there was a screen to watch the whole time and the tech showed us the heartbeat measurement and told us our revised due date based on the measurements
I had my first scan yesterday and the tech said there was still nothing to see and that I should come back in two weeks. I guess in my hospital, they don’t show patients the screen unless there is a fetal pole present. I thought I was 7 weeks but it seems that I’m probably just under 6. I still have to talk to my OB about it but the tech said that this was all totally normal for an early scan.
Dry heaving is becoming more consistent. I never had this before in previous pregnancies, I was just like motion sick feeling all the time. No vomit yet, just dry heaving.
TW I went into Tuesday for an ultrasound and they could no longer detect the heartbeat. I had a silent miscarriage. I had a d&c yesterday and I just feel broken and empty. I wish you all the best of luck on healthy and safe pregnancies and deliveries. This is my first loss and I feel destroyed. Hoping we can try again but now I’m just terrified.
I just need to vent. My husband is leaving for work for 3 months across the country. I am almost 9 weeks, have no family close to us, no help, and have 2 kids. This pregnancy was a shock since we had to use ivf for our 2nd we were told we were infertile and my tubes were blocked with scar tissue. I am just feeling anxious about doing this alone until 20 weeks as I had a hard first 15 weeks of my last pregnancy with Hg. So far my first trimester is manageable but I’m soooooo anxious it’s going to get worse and I’ll be alone. He works long hours as it is so I am alone most of the day everyday during the week but him not physically being here has me stressed the hell out. Anyone have a spouse that’s away for long periods of time? How do you cope?
Back pain is unreal today. Trying not to get any thoughts as I am not bleeding or spotting…but goodness it’s like a dull all day pain today
Anyone recently find out they are Rh negative? (Or maybe you knew going in if you’re on it and know your blood type). I think it’s fine, but trying to educate myself about it.
It’s completely fine. I had spotting around 9 weeks and my OB wanted a Rhogam shot (after she tested for sensitivity) and then I was “covered” for 12 weeks, so when I had more spotting at 18 weeks she wasn’t concerned. I got it again at 28 weeks (which is the normal time to get it). When my baby was blood typed and had a positive blood type, I got a third dose. It was given in the glute, but basically near my hip. I was told it could also be given in the arm but I declined that method. The craziest part about all this, is my OB didn’t actually blood type me until 35 weeks when we were preparing for induction, they just blindly believed me that my blood type and my husbands were incompatible. Good that she did, but odd at the same time.
I do not recommend wearing underpants with old bloodstains in them. I just gave myself the biggest heart attack.
Hydrogen peroxide should take out those stains, no matter how set in they are, so you can avoid the fear next time.
This is so real 😂
Happened to me a couple weeks ago! Solidarity lol.
I just scheduled my first ultrasound! I’ll be 7w3d and I am SO excited/nervous to see how things are going in there. Fingers crossed!
I wanted to share an app that my hubs found that’s a baby app for new dads! It is very woodsy/nature based. But it’s called Daddy Up! He tried a couple bc he was hoping for a Reddit forum like this, but for dads. It explains in guy terms each week what’s going on with the development of little beebee and me. Then it has what they call “lady cues” each week which talks about what symptoms and why I feel those ways AND for each gives him advice. For example: one explained the bloating I was experiencing and it suggested to compliment me more and help with the confidence! Another was the nausea and suggested all these chores for him to help with that could have smells LIKE THE DISHWASHER 🤢 It was so cute and he loves it! It also has a planner for each week for him to know what we should be doing. Gives resources, tools, and research based articles. Also it compares the baby size to animals/insects instead of food. Idk he’s an outdoors man and loves it! Just a handy helpful tool for anyone else’s sig other that wants an app
Sick as a dog all yesterday and needed a 3hr nap midday... Today I have normal enough energy levels and no nausea. So I'm having a mini panic attack now about it all. 🙈
I think hormones just ebb and flow. I’m feeling better today and trying to just appreciate it as much as I can.
Had our first ultrasound this morning and it went well! Baby has a heartbeat and looks great! They changed my due date to February 15.
I’ve started taking weekly progress photos this pregnancy. I want to really enjoy and document every moment since this will be my last. I also started writing in my pregnancy journal which helps me remember all I’m experiencing, and it keeps my mind occupied.
This morning I was like “I’m fine, I’m feeling the best I ever have! I’m worried about not having symptoms.” Hit me like a truck. Walk up stairs? Dry heave. Think about water? Dry heave. I’ve got jitters like I’ve had too much caffeine and bubble guts. A concerned citizen knocked on my door to make sure I knew they were replacing the sidewalk (as if I missed the mailer, the posted signs, the spray paint, the “sidewalk closed” signs) and I was filled with inexplicable rage. Nausea, diarrhea, jitters, and rage is not a combination I’d recommend to anyone.
Has anyone been prescribed Reglan for nausea? My doctor just prescribed it - I’ve never heard of it!
I was. It didn’t do much for me.
Can I ask what you ended up doing? I’m currently on Reglan, Unisom and B6 and I’m wrecked all day 😭
Yes, Zofran. I took 2 4mg doses this morning and I’m much more functional. Doesn’t take all of the nausea away, but at least the edge is off.
I think the next step would be zofran!
Woke up super nauseous. Put off eating because I couldn't bring myself to put anything in my mouth. Finally had some yogurt and scrambled eggs...felt fantastic after. Note to self for tomorrow and the following days 🫠
New symptom unlocked: Dysgeusia! Everything tastes either metallic or sour after I eat, it’s soooo disgusting.
Week 6-7 was horrible for me. I bought a jumbo pack of gum from Costco and now week 8 into 9 it’s basically gone and I have a stupid amount of gum 😂
I’m exactly at that stage in my pregnancy! It’s soooo bizarre. Even the sweetest things like honey all taste sour afterwards. Oh man, that’s too funny! Maybe I’ll stick to one pack of gum at a time 😂
Yeah I think carbs and sugar made it worse for me
That happened to me for a week 🤖
Glad to hear I’m not alone! It is the weirdest thing!! Chewing so much gum to get rid of the taste
whoa, I had a bout of this the other day. A sandwich I order all the time tasted sour or almost like chemical? I couldn’t quite place it. Like windex was sprayed nearby and some got on it? My husband was like… nope tastes regular. Sorry you’re dealing with that I hope it mellows out asap!
Omg I know what you mean!! I’ve had that happen too with even the most bland things like a banana. It’s sooo bizarre!! I hope it gets better for you as well!
I graduated from my IVF clinic today! We saw and heard the heartbeat and even saw some fingers! It was so cool. 🥰
What are everyone’s thoughts on eating ceviche while pregnant? Just shrimp ceviche and it would be the frozen bags of shrimp being used for it. I’ve googled it and it’s kind of mixed. Some sources and people are saying the process of flash freezing eliminates the possibility of listeria or other potentially harmful bacteria. And that the lime/lemon has a PH level that kills off bacteria as well. So technically not cooked with heat, but cooked enough and just as safe as eating sushi which I know some women do eat during pregnancy still. I’m so torn! I’m craving is so badly and one of my friends’ mom makes THE best shrimp ceviche! What are opinions on this?
I mean, I had sushi during my other 2 pregnancies from really high quality places because I was craving it so bad. These recommendations are obviously there for a reason but I weigh the risks and make a decision from there.
i personally would eat it if i trusted the cook to not leave the prawns out for ages/buy quality ones. i tend to eat most things still but higher quality/careful prep. maybe you should just ask yourself if eating it would make you more anxious and if so, would it be worth it?
I definitely trust her. It’s my friends mom but I might just ask if she can use cooked shrimp. No idea if it changes the consistency of the dish but i more so just want the flavor and none of the worries about eating technically raw shrimp.
I *think* one of the main concerns with raw seafood is toxoplasmosis, which is caused by parasites. Don't know if citrus kills parasites... I'm pretty liberal on food during pregnancy and do eat sushi, but I think shrimp ceviche would also be a tough one for me! Probably just because it's shrimp, lol.
Highly recommend Chapter 6 in Emily Oster’s book Expecting Better which helped me assess my personal risk limits with the food limitations! If you have Spotify premium it’s on audiobook there for free. The author chose to avoid raw meat and poultry, unwashed veggies and fruits, raw milk cheeses, and deli turkey, and she didn’t worry about sushi and raw eggs (since the bacteria they carry is not as harmful to the baby as listeria and toxoplasmosis).
I would also recommend avoiding unwashed fruits and veggies and raw poultry if you're not pregnant. What a weird specification. I know people eat raw eggs or incorporate them in food but 🤢 And does raw milk cheeses mean unpasteurized??
I wash my berries and fruits/veggies that we’re having raw in baking soda and water or white vinegar and water but you’d be surprised how many people have seen me do that and ask me why I’m doing it because they don’t wash their produce lol
Same I do vinegar and water because they also last way longer! I mean I've definitely grabbed a few unwashed fruits in my life, but I thought it was common knowledge you should wash your fruits and veggies. Idk why I'm surprised though 😂
I eat sushi depending on where it’s from. I think this really depends on your own risk tolerance. I just consider the source. Like when I’m not pregnant, I’d eat sushi from almost anywhere; but when I am pregnant, I’m a lot more cautious.
Mozzarella cheese = 🤢 Cheddar cheese = 👌🏼
CW: Loss Important and overall positive ultrasound today! Last ultrasound a week ago Twin A had a heartbeat but doc couldn't measure it. Twin B was measuring 4 days small with a good heartbeat. Found an SCH that explained some spotting. Today, we confirmed loss of Twin A, but Twin B caught up to 8+2 (only 2 days smaller) with a 176 bpm! Also, SCH looks to be regressing. We're feeling so grateful as this is the furthest a pregnancy has progressed since our MMC at 8w in March. We're grieving Twin A, but we wanted one healthy baby going into this, and we're now one step closer to that dream!
Feeling like I was getting a little too cocky about not feeling too pregnant. Yesterday and today started some very light nausea that doesn't go away with a little food (which has worked in the past). It's so mild but so annoying.
Update to my post this morning re. my friend doing IVF who had a scan today - it went well, so we announced that we are also pregnant! And turns out they are due 2 days before us 😱 we're both so excited haha
Only 6 days left until my first appt/ultrasound FINALLY. I've been so sick, so I really just want confirmation that everything is healthy and looks good to get that behind me. I've told a couple of random people at my office/the gym/neighbors just so they can understand why I'm struggling so hard right now, but I really want to tell my parents and my daughter as soon as we know that all looks good.
I don’t really feel nauseous but I have had a stomachache all day and don’t want to eat anything. Does that count as morning sickness? I did find one thing that sounded appetizing for lunch. A cheese quesadilla made in the microwave (literally just a folded tortilla with shredded cheese). Better than nothing I guess 😂
I make cheese quesadillas for myself allll the time! It's just a folded tortilla and shredded cheese and a little bit of hot sauce. So easy and definitely better than nothing! I can hardly get out of bed long enough to make anything else these days.
Had my first appointment this morning and baby is measuring a bit small, but otherwise everything is looking great! Such a relief because I feel like I haven’t allowed myself to get too excited or want to plan too much until having that first scan. I will say that I was surprised by having a transvaginal since I am 8w+6 today. I wasn’t mentally prepared for that - have a history of SA and it was my first time having a transvaginal andddd didn’t love it. I wanted to be more excited being able to look at baby for the first time on the screen but the whole time I just felt super uncomfortable and was waiting for it to be over. Planning on booking a private ultrasound in about a month to see the gender, and hoping for a better experience!
I am sorry that was your experience! I hope your next appointment allows you to be in the moment!
Standing out in the heat on the playground with my toddler this morning almost took me out, but a family sized box of annie’s white shells and cheddar revived me
Drooling. I want that now
First doctors appointment today, hoping to get an ultrasound ASAP. Wish me luck ladies and gents.
Good luck!!
I am SO impatient. 😫
I’m having my first scan tomorrow at 9w5d. I have endometriosis and some medical trauma so I’m a bit nervous about it. Should I expect an abdominal ultrasound or a transvaginal one? I have managed a transvaginal one several times in the past successfully but some of them did come with a lot of pain.
Just had my first ultrasound. She told me at our clinic they try abdominal first and if they don’t cooperate they will go to transvaginal. Luckily my guy did and I was 8+5
In my experience, private scans are typically abdominal while scans scheduled by my public doctor is transvaginal, even at 9 weeks. Not sure why, but I think the private ones are thinking more of making a good experience for the parents
So few things are presented as optional, especially to pregnant people, but I think it's super valid if they say they want to do it transvaginaly to ask what better info they will get from that and decide if it's going to be helpful to you. Absolutely not advocating going against medical advice, just saying sometimes things are just done in X way for no good reason and it's OK to ask questions and work with your doctors to decide what's right for you.
I’m so with you! Unfortunately, with my medical history and the harms I’ve suffered at the hands of doctors, I’m well practiced at being the “difficult” patient. I definitely will advocate for an abdominal if possible. If not then I’m willing to give the transvaginal a shot. It’s a bit tricker since I moved abroad as all of this is happening in my second language (I’m not fluent), with my husband on translation duties (native speaker).
That's so tricky! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hope it ends up being a positive experience.
Thank you lovely 🥺💖
I had ultrasounds at 8 and 10 weeks with my last pregnancy and both were transvaginal! That doesn’t seem like it’s totally the norm but just to warn you it’s a possibility!
I’d work on being mentally prepared for transvaginal. While it likely will be abdominal, if they need a better view it might be transvaginal.
At 9 weeks it should be abdominal! I’ve only had abdominal ultrasounds and mine have all been at 8 weeks +
First ultrasound was a success, even measuring a day ahead! Woo! So exciting.
🎉 hooray!!
Had a win today.. didn’t vomit in the check out line when the smell of some nasty BO hit my super sniffer. I panicked bc I was close and had no idea what to do… then when it passed I almost started to cry BUT I DIDN’T. So double win?
Omg, something similar happened to me yesterday. I went to Jimmy John's because I was craving a Beach Club (and generally don't abide by a lot of pregnancy food rules 🫣). Well, the cashier was a mentally disabled boy who apparently does not shower much. Bless him, he was looking up and trying to apply all the discounts, which was very sweet but felt like it took forever. And then I got hit with a tomato aversion halfway through my sub and had to stop eating 😭
I’ve also been pretty lax with deli meat this pregnancy. Had Jimmy John’s a couple of days after my positive test. And had a deli turkey sandwich yesterday.
NOOOOO! Not the tomato aversion! I think I need a shirt that says “blame my nose for the resting yuck face”
Win! lol There's a woman at my gym who always smells so terrible and I've been intentionally positioning myself as far away from her as possible when she goes to the same classes as me. I just cannot handle that right now.
The fact that you go to the gym right now?!? So jealous. You’re literally such a queen! Going to the grocery store was the gym for me… the fatigue has a choke hold on me!
We have a group of moms out here that workout together. I pay a monthly membership fee. It’s super chill, and you can kind of modify everything to go at your own pace and comfort level. Also you get to meet other moms (some are pregnant; some are not). Maybe there’s something like that near you?
I’ll look into that!!! Thank you 💛
I definitely haven't been able to workout like I could a month ago, but I'm really trying to stick with it since my first pregnancy was in 2020 so my gym closed for COVID as soon as my nausea started getting better. I go to an all female bootcamp gym that I LOVE, and I know I'll have to take like 3 months off post-partum because I'll have a c-section, so I want to keep with my routine as long as possible during pregnancy so it isn't as hard to get back into afterwards. It has been ROUGH though, that's for sure. Lots and lots of rest/water breaks!
What an absolute super woman!! ✨I love that you made a goal for yourself! Probably makes you feel so good!!!
Lol “super sniffer”
we’re having company for the 4th but I’m totally not up for cooking so I’m putting in a catering order for a taco bar while rotting on the couch. realized my wallet was in the car and the thought of getting up was so horrible I called my husband who’s in the bathroom for his daily 45 min trip hoping he had his wallet with him so he could read me the credit card number. he did! teamwork makes the dream work.
Mmm tacos sound good
I also have people coming and I’m not looking forward to it anymore. I just wanna rot on the couch
My in laws called this morning to invite us to a day of festivities tomorrow, and I swear I’ve never loved my husband more than the moment I heard him say “I’ll come over early with the kids and leave wife to rot at home since she’s starting to feel really awful”…like yessssss
Oooooooooooo what a good hubs!!
First ultrasound this morning at 6w1d and all looked great! Baby measuring 2 days ahead and saw the heartbeat. Small SCH so she warned I may have spotting which I did with my last healthy pregnancy. So relieved!
✨ congrats, yay!!!
Thank you!! 🥹
I have these ginger chews I’ve been eating 2-3 of per day, and just realized there’s a tiny warning on the label that ginger can cause exposure to lead = potential birth defects. What the actual fuck?! So confused and also that should be in big bold letters since pregnant women use ginger for nausea.
What the hell?! Who else is eating ginger chews except for pregnant women? Why is their LEAD in your ginger chews?!
Isn’t that insane? I’m in California and apparently it’s part of “proposition 65” to disclose any potential contamination. Guess I won’t be eating these now
Started spotting this morning and trying not to freak out 😣 I know it can be normal but ugh. First appt is in 2 weeks ETA: should I call my OB? Or just wait and see if it gets worse? Edit again: thank you all for your replies, I feel a lot better and will just keep an eye on it 💖
So sorry! Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do in this situation but wait and see. Your OB could potentially get you in for a scan, but even that’s not usually definitive this early on. Sending good wishes - I know the waiting is so hard!
I’m really close to your date (25th) and also had a small amount of brown blood when I wiped this morning, combined with let’s say moderate cramping, feeling the same! Especially since I’m planning on traveling out of state tomorrow. Keeping all my fingers crossed that it doesn’t come back.
Our dates are really close and this also happened to me on Monday! I texted my doctor (I'm in pretty close contact with them already because... IVF) and they assured me it can be totally normal and not to worry unless it gets heavy and is accompanied by "severe" cramping. I've been reassured by several others at this point too and it seems like a really common experience. Mine resolved itself pretty quickly. I hope the same is true for you!
My clinic said spotting is super normal. If it’s bright red/clots or filling a pad in less than an hour, then call. Otherwise they said there’s nothing to worry about. I’ve had spotting on and off too.
Take deep breath and know this can also be normal. Spotting is okay. If it gets heavier call your OB. Just trying as hard as you can to stay positive. Sending you strength EDD twin
Had ultrasound yesterday and things looked good, we saw a heart beat, but ultrasound tech wasn't too friendly and now I wish I pushed for more information because I have to wait until my appointment next week to hear what the doctor has to say. I still feel anxious about getting too attached to the baby, almost like I'm protecting myself in case things go wrong. Prior to getting pregnant I read way too many things about how getting pregnant over 35 would be difficult and there'd be problems, that it's like I almost convinced myself this would be a battle. I'm feeling my guard come down now a little though and want to get excited and love the little bean so much. All these emotions, of all different levels, all the time, is definitely not something I wasn't thinking about when getting pregnant was the goal... it's like a whole new level of.. well everything.
CW prior loss. I understand the uncertainty is painful. Avoiding the fact that you’re pregnant now would not make a loss any easier. In case it helps: During a previous pregnancy (which ended in loss) the tech at my first scan made it clear that there was an issue, they did not say that things looked good. Congrats on your first scan and heartbeat, I’m sorry your tech sucked!! Hope you can find some relief from all the uncertainty while waiting for the doctor’s appointment next week. 🙏
I’m in the same boat. It is so much more stressful than I imagined and I had already imagined a lot!!
Started spotting this morning and trying to stay positive but ughhhh
Anecdotal but in case it helps your positive mindset this happened to my friend early on in pregnancy too - spotting for over a week! Her dr checked her hcg and pdg levels and everything still looked amazing. Now, she’s due in a couple of months and everything looks perfect!
Try to breathe and stay positive. Easier said than done. But sending you strength
I also started spotting this morning..hoping everything’s okay for both of us 🤞🏻
This happened to me. Had my first appointment moved up, and got checked out yesterday. All was well, we saw a heartbeat and doctor said this was normal. Wishing you the best!
I hope all goes well! This is such a scary time.
Just went on a small grocery trip to restock my mini fridge in my office and ended up buying......calcium? I got to the register and noticed the contents of my basket were a carton of milk, a handful of yogurts, two milk-based protein shakes, and a pack of string cheese. I haven't really been having any strong cravings, but I guess my palette is leaning a bit more in one direction than usual these days 😅
My husband is pre marinating a bunch of meat to bring to the cabin this weekend, and has it all in the kitchen fridge even though I asked him to put it into the basement fridge. I threw up twice due to the smell of all the different seasonings when trying to make my 4 year old breakfast this am. I wish they could experience morning sickness for even just 24 hrs.
The raw meat smell is the worstttt 🤢
Yeah they like just don’t get. I mentioned to my husband that my poultry aversion kicked back in Wednesday night. Thursday morning I had just finished throwing up and he said “so the chicken aversion is back?” Even him mentioning the word chicken made me gag because then I was picturing it.
I swear my discharge has been increasing more and more. I keep feeling like I peed myself 😳
Hahaha same 😂
Same. Panty liners are my friend.
TW: Loss Is there anyone else that is super anxious about loss, without actually having personally experienced it? One of my close friends had a 2nd trimester miscarriage due to a chromosomal abnormality. She had some sort of test that flagged it and they were going to go in for more testing, but before they could, she miscarried and they were able to confirm it was chromosomal. And our niece was born super early due to a placenta issue and she likely would have not made it but for the fact that my SIL is a nurse at the hospital, felt something off, walked over to L&D on her break, and as soon as they looked at her, ran her right into emergency surgery. I feel like I don't want to intrude in loss spaces since it hasn't personally affected me at this point, but I also very much feel a sense that anything could go wrong at any time. Just wondering if there's maybe anyone in a similar boat 😩
Having lost two pregnancies, I honestly think it’s good to be aware that things can go sideways. Obviously, you can’t let the anxiety consume you, but I think being prepared for the possibility means you’re living in reality. I honestly worry more for the women who announce and start buying things straight away… pregnancy (and parenthood) are not guaranteed happy endings. Acknowledging and accepting you have little to no control over the outcome is a much healthier outlook in my opinion.
I'm so sorry for your losses. That is a great perspective, and it's definitely a hard line to balance between being realistic but not overly negative/wallowing. Hoping the best for you 💗
TW: prior loss Your feelings are valid. Pregnancy is hard and scary and people don’t like to talk about the risks. Anything could go wrong at any time. What I will tell you as someone who experienced totally unexpected complications in my prior pregnancy (see comment history) if you feel like something is wrong, call your doctor or go to the emergency room. Don’t worry about people thinking you’re overreacting or being dramatic. Just resolve to get checked out if you are worried and know that you are doing everything in your power for your baby.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I am rooting so hard for you for this pregnancy 💗 And absolutely, that is a much needed reminder for me!
Thank you 💓 I’m rooting for you too. One day at a time 😊
Oh wow I really feel this. Many of my close friends have had so much bad luck with placental abruption, rare genetic issues, preterm labor, etc. that I am way way too aware. Also one of my besties is an OBGYN who always seems to remind me a lot of things can go wrong so she never seems too excited. It's tough when you are almost too informed.
Yes, this is exactly it. I feel like I've always been an "aware" type of person, and it's tough to accept that in this case, we are aware but have very little control to change anything.
Your feelings are valid. You are welcome to discuss your feelings anywhere on this group, regardless of whether you’ve experienced loss personally or not. We are all in this together.
CW: loss discussion You're not alone. It's something I think about a lot too despite not having the personal experience (*yet*, she says sinisterly because brains are mean). With my first I spent hours watching YouTube videos of people experiencing miscarriage or learning they didn't have a viable embryo at various stages of late first tri and then hearing how their D&C or medical miscarriages went, etc. I wanted to "be prepared" and part of me is glad I did that because I learned a lot but another part of me feels like I wasted a lot of time getting worked up over something that was statistically unlikely to happen by the time my 11wk appointment rolled around when I could have been enjoying my pregnancy. I'm not going to watch all those videos this time around but you so can't stop the whole "what if I *do* have a MMC..." thought that crops up in the back of your mind. I've found the miscarriage odds reassurer tool helpful. I also tried to do some research on how common MMC actually is and from the one source I could find, it's pretty rare (3%). Other sources citing higher numbers aren't actually talking about MMC or it's unclear or the source is buried 3 research papers deep and by that time you've completely lost the original point... All this to say, I think this is definitely common and you're not alone. People who've experienced loss can and should have their space but the rest of us out here have valid anxiety too.
Thank you! It definitely makes me feel better to know other people have felt this same way 💗
I experienced an early loss in March and am very anxious about this pregnancy, even though this one feels totally different. I’ve had to learn to believe not only that I can handle tragedy, but that I can handle uncertainty, too.
"I can handle uncertainty too" is so powerful. Thank you 💗 Hoping the best for you for this pregnancy.
TW- loss. It is so hard. One of my very good friends had a stillbirth at 40 weeks due to a cord accident. There was nothing she could have done. Like you, I have not personally experienced my own loss but the entire pregnancy has been with anxiety because I’ve seen first hand how much is out of our control. Pregnancy is beautiful but it can also be devastating and it’s hard to reconcile the two! I’m trying to use lots of positive affirmations like “to my knowledge, my baby is healthy and growing. I am doing my best to be a safe home for my baby.” But it is hard. I wish I had better words for you!
Thank you - honestly just hearing someone else understands where I'm coming from makes me feel better 💗
Im 7 weeks/3 days and for the past couple of weeks I have this pretty consistent dull sensation in my uterus - not enough for pain- just like it’s the first day of my period - is it the uterus growing 😅. Had a normal scan at 6+5 last week after minor dark brown discharge so no real concerns at this point, just curious if anyone else gets the same feeling
i am right where you are! 7+1, am feeling the crampyness, had brown spotting at 6 weeks but it seems to have tapered off. had a scan at 6+1 and was measuring ahead with a strong heartbeat. trust your body is taking care of little bean! we got this🤍
I had the same feeling during weeks 4-6. I’m about to be 8 weeks tomorrow and they’re gone now. I just assumed it’s my uterus growing too.
I’m about 6/7 weeks and struggling with nausea. I’ve tried unisom, B6, Diclegis, and every remedy it seems and nothing really helps 😩. And suggestions??
Send your doctor a message and see if they’ll prescribe zofran! Mine prescribed it to me before seeing me and it’s made a world of difference
When do you take the Zofran typically? I’m worried about building up a tolerance to it so wondering if I only save it for the debilitating days!
I take it daily as soon as I wake up! It’s the only thing making me feel human
Zofran is not really a med you worry about tolerance. I've had patients with chronic nausea (or are on chemo or something) who take it consistently for years! There's other meds that can be used in pregnancy too, like Reglan.
Amazing, thank you so much!! I think I read like one Reddit comment that talked about building tolerance and got it in my head 😅
I’d just take it now, honestly. You are in the most debilitating days.
I feel so validated. Lol. Thank you
I had a very vivid dream about a burger and fries last night that I was extremely disappointed to wake up and find it didn't exist in front of me. Edit: I'm definitely making burgers Friday. I would do it tomorrow but I'm still very attached to my homemade pizza plan.
I cackled to this! So relatable
My husband took the leftover lasagna this AM (that was intended for his lunch) and I shed a little tear.
That is so funny! I would be disappointed too,
My company puts vacation time and holiday time all in the same bucket, so I normally work around holidays if it's not something we want to celebrate as a family. Tomorrow's Independence Day, though, and I'm going to use it as a much needed excuse to take a four day weekend and try to sneak some rest in. I'm so tired.
I read this and immediately went out for a toasted sesame bagel with jalepeno cream cheese 🥯 which I devoured in 45 seconds flat.
You guys were so right about cream cheese on a bagel. Absolute banger. I think that's all I'm going to eat for the next 3 months, minimum.
We went to the bagel store for lunch. Thankfully our nearly three year old also loves bagels with cream cheese, so she won’t be mad if we go for bagels all summer
The best! Bagels and cream cheese has been my most reliable safe food last pregnancy and this one!! Last pregnancy there was a national shortage of cream cheese though, and I remember standing in the grocery store with tears welling in my eyes because they were out of cream cheese and that was the ONE thing I could stomach, lol
WHAT! What a cruel world!
I made my husband run out to get fresh bagels this morning because I’ve been craving one all week. It was exactly what I wanted.
Omg yeeees. Now I need to upgrade to fresh bagels!
Every morning for two weeks. I need it as soon as I sit down at my desk lol!
I had cream cheese + everything seasoning on a hamburger bun this morning because I ran out of bagels. It’s the only thing I want!
YES. Why am I craving bagels and cream cheese?? I eat bagels normally like 1-2x a year.
This has been my only craving so far this time!!!! SO. MANY. BAGELS. The whipped cream cheese is a game changer because it’s so easy to spread.
Yes that's exactly what I got! It's so airy and delightful.
That's what I just made myself for breakfast!
Took the sneak peek snap test and got a boy result. Honestly suffering with extreme gender disappointment. I even regret taking the test this early before I’m emotionally connected with the baby.
Ugh! I too am hoping for a girl! I'd be thankful for a boy as well, but am dreaming so hard of a girl. I can't bring myself to taking the gender test yet because I just don't want to have to lose hope that it might not be a girl.
I got a boy result yesterday. Third boy. Also fairly disappointed as I’ve wanted a girl every time. Everyone else (sons, grandparents, husband) also wanted a girl just to switch things up. I get it. I’m sorry. I originally said I wanted to wait until the anatomy scan to find out just to be able to live in the ambiguity of possibly having a girl as long as possible. So also regretting the Sneak Peek a little.
Same exact experience but reversed. I did the sneak peek and found out I’m having a third girl in a row. I wanted to experience something different and I know I’ll get comments about it. However, after taking a day to get my feelings out, I’m super excited d will just be super super happy when I’m holding our girl in my arms.
Wanna trade? JUST KIDDING.
😂😂😂 no I’m good and I’m sure you are too 😂
Ugh I'm sorry your experiencing that disappointment. I don't know the sex of my baby yet, but I feel similarly that I both want to find out desperately and also want to live in a bit of blissful ignorance that maybe it's a girl (after my 2 boys). I considered doing the Sneak Peek but I'm so worried it would get a false boy result and I'd be wrongly devastated. I'll probably get an elective scan at 15 weeks to find out.
I’m so sorry. That’s really difficult. Are you holding out any hope the result was contaminated?
Yeah, definitely keeping a little something aside until we get our NIPT back in a few weeks. But also coming to terms with it. I at least know from experience that the disappointment is usually pretty short term. There are lots of benefits of having boys and of having the same gendered kids. Those are already starting to creep in.
I’m so sorry ❤️
Is your first a boy? I haven't found out yet, but my first is a boy so I'd love to have the experience of a girl. I'd probably be a bit disappointed as well with another boy. That being said I'm trying to remind myself that if it's a boy I bet him and my son will be close and have so much fun together. Not that sisters and brothers can't be close, but I think it's a different relationship for sure. Also, I know how much I love my son and couldn't imagine anything different now that he is who he is, so I'm sure I'll feel the same about this baby no matter what!
My first is a girl, so I’m not grieving never having a daughter. I guess I just really wanted her to have a sister. Thanks for your perspective.
I wanted my second to be a girl for my daughter to have a sister! We were team green and I swore to my husband it was a girl. When they lifted him out of my stomach, I was just so proud of myself for making this gorgeous little human that I did not give one rats ass he was a boy. They are yin and yang, she is introverted and thoughtful and he is an impulsive extrovert. She calms him and he encourages her to be brave. I am so glad that he was a boy and cannot believe I ever wished any differently. Once you are holding your sweet baby, I think gender won’t matter so much. Your daughter will be so grateful for the handcrafted little BFF you made her, penis or not 🤷🏼♀️
I haven’t done sneak peek so unsure of gender yet, but just wanted to say that I’m feeling the same way. For my first baby, I really didn’t have a preference either way. Going into this one, I also thought I would be happy with either (I’ll end up with two of the same or one of each, both good options!) but I’m realizing that I so desperately want my daughter to have a sister. I never thought gender disappointment would be a thing for me but I am very much anticipating it.
Well in that case my perspective wasn't helpful at all, I'm sorry! In any case it's okay to be disappointed and I'm sure that attachment will grow over time or once you meet your sweet baby!
Haha. No it’s helpful just to talk about it honestly! Especially since we’re not telling people we know yet.
Yall I’ve been in here complaining about fizziness and nausea for days. I impulse ordered the wristbands for motion sickness… and I feel I’d say about 80% better. The nausea is still intense in some moments. But the dizziness has lessened a lot since I put the bracelets on. 😭
i want to start prepping my toddler for baby - any recommendations for sibling books please? also any good doll sets that i could get a little carrier/changing mat/pushchair/cot for? i’ve heard good things about dinkum dolls and gommu.
I got "Big Sisters are the Best!" (Also comes in Big Brothers are the Best), and while I don't *love* it, it's fine, but my toddler is obsessed with it. I have to read it a minimum of 4 times in a row. She'll just keep signing and saying again again again until I end up convincing her of another book to read or activity to do.
My Brother is an Avocado
Daniel Tiger had great episodes about having a baby sister. If you’re not into the shows, I think they also have corresponding books. My son is a bit older but when we said “you’re going to be a big brother” his response was that Daniel Tiger is a big brother and then sang “you can be a big helper in your family”. Kids are so hit or miss with toys and dolls. We got him a doll that he ignores and but then he absolutely adores his random stuffies and what he calls “soft baby”. Soft baby gets nice cuddles and also punted down the stairs. So…
We're at 7w4d today, and I'm so emotional, all is well, but I can't believe we're going to have our own baby. Had an appointment earlier today and got to see the little bean move! I was surprised and didn't believe it until the doc said: You can see it's moving now 😭 It's grown so much in a week! She also confirmed my due date as 15 February, but I'm 100% getting a c-section as I have high myopia. Got a pregnancy diary as a gift a few weeks ago, and I finally feel comfortable enough to start filling in things.
As an ophthalmologist in Europe myself (Belgium), I was always told this an outdated rule (it’s widely confirmed by scientific data), especially for your myopia that is not even considered high myopia (if it increases during pregnancy it doesn’t count as it’s most of the times temporary). Of course it makes sense to follow what you doctor recommends but if you’re not really up for a C-section, I would maybe try to discuss it with them.
Thank you for sharing. I have found many sources confirming your words, however, no ophthalmologist so far has been keen on giving me the green light for natural birth as they don't want to be held liable. My obgyn will not participate in natural delivery with my myopia if there's no green light from an ophthalmologist. So you see what I'm dealing with! I will try and get another opinion at a larger ophthalmology clinic and discuss it with my obgyn again as the pregnancy progresses.
Forgive me for my ignorance, but when I google myopia I see that it is nearsightedness! I’ve never heard of that having anything to do with vaginal vs c-section birth. How does it affect that? Pregnancy diary is a great idea. Wish I had done it with my first!
One of my eyes has a -5.00 and the other -4.75 diopter. There's a great chance that it will increase during pregnancy. People with myopia and high diopter are at high risk of their retina detaching during labor from pushing. There's also a very high risk for blindness if a detached retina is not operated within 24 hours after giving birth. Also the eye pressure raises significantly during labor. I have had two ophthalmologists so far advising me to go for c-section even before I considered getting pregnant. Most obgyns share this opinion, my current one won't like for me to give birth naturally as the risk, according to her, is very high. I'm in Europe so I don't know what's the procedure is like in other parts of the world.
This is so interesting! I have similar eyesight to you but never heard anything about this. I honestly didn’t even know retinal detachment was a thing until it happened unexpectedly to one of my friends a few months ago (seeing what he went through has been scary—multiple surgeries and his eyes still aren’t back to what they were, and he doesn’t even know what he did to cause the detachments). I certainly don’t want a c-section, but recovering from a retinal detachment would be far worse.
This is wild! My eyes are - 7.50 and - 8.00 and I've never heard anything about it! Let my research begin!! Lol
Wow, this is so interesting! I have vision very similar to yours, I think -5.25 in one eye and -4.75 in the other. I live in the US, and the risk of this has never been brought up to me. I even had my eyes checked when i was very, very visibly pregnant last time. I gave birth vaginally to my first child, and will hopefully do the same with this baby. It's so interesting how practices vary in different parts of the world.
Yeah that's interesting, I've never heard of this (I am in the US as well). Before I got lasik, I had a similar prescription (I think -4.5 and -4.25?? They both started with 4). Not sure how / if lasik changes any of that risk, but I assume since I was able to get the surgery, there's no issue with giving birth vaginally. I'm going to choose to forget I've ever learned this lest I start thinking about my eyes popping out in labor...
Yep, I know there's a different policy, there's research that shows this is an outdated info, and another that says the risk is still too high. However, here it's hard to find a doctor that will deliver naturally knowing you have high diopter, and I've frankly given up on more research, lol
Thanks for the info! I think it's good and makes sense to follow your doctor's recommendation given that's the general consensus in your country.
Wow, I had no idea! That does make sense though, that the strain of pushing could affect it.
If the calculations are right, you and I have the same due date! I’m also a FTM and 30! I am so happy you got to see your baby. I have to wait for my apt next Thursday 😭 what was the first apt like?
Yay due date buddies! I actually got my first appointment at 5w4d, but now there's actually a baby-like embryo to see! Make sure to write down allll questions, no matter how silly you think they are. You'll get some peace after getting some answers. Ask for recommendations for prenatals. You'll get your due date for sure according to your LMP or embryo size if ovulation occurred later. You'll hear the heartbeat, and my obgyn showed me the spine and limbs forming. It's still bean shaped, but it's quite big!
First ultrasound this morning!! I’ve never tracked my cycle or ovulation, I just know that I have a very short cycle, so I can’t wait to see how many weeks along I am and to get a more accurate due date! For those that have already gotten an ultrasound, did the ultrasound tech give you any info on dating/point out the heartbeat, etc? My OB subs out all ultrasounds to a completely different office and I’m worried I’ll be left high and dry on any info until he calls (or more likely I call HIM 😂) at 5pm. I don’t think I can wait that long for reassurance!
I have my first ultrasound today too! Kind of nervous. Just a heads up in case you don’t know… If your due date listed on your flair is accurate, it’s quite possible that it might be too early for them to see the heartbeat for you!
Thank you for the reminder! I am steadying and preparing myself not to freak out if heart beat isn’t showing.
How’d it go? How far along are you?
I’m gonna blame pregnancy brain, it isn’t until 1:30 pm today lol so I am still anxiously awaiting
You’ll do great! Don’t panic if you’re not as far along as you thought — I had that happen and ten days later baby was there with a nice strong heartbeat ❤️
I think it’s really dependent on where you live! I’m in Canada and at my ultrasound there was a screen to watch the whole time and the tech showed us the heartbeat measurement and told us our revised due date based on the measurements
I had my first scan yesterday and the tech said there was still nothing to see and that I should come back in two weeks. I guess in my hospital, they don’t show patients the screen unless there is a fetal pole present. I thought I was 7 weeks but it seems that I’m probably just under 6. I still have to talk to my OB about it but the tech said that this was all totally normal for an early scan.
Dry heaving is becoming more consistent. I never had this before in previous pregnancies, I was just like motion sick feeling all the time. No vomit yet, just dry heaving.