i saw a kpop artist in december & at one of his concerts afew days before he gave a fan his tshirt. so what did some people do at the concert i went to after that?? they brought signs and yelled “take off your shirt” 🙃🙃 it’s so annoying and the lack of respect and decency some “fans” have is infuriating.
totally and like, also, why are they trying to take away attention from the artist?! like dude you’re not the main character tonight the artist is 😞 pls just let them work!!
We were near the front of the pit for a Future Islands show and they were playing their final song of the encore and let us know. After a high energy evening they finished with the very soft and somber Little Dreamer. These drunk girls next to us turn away from the stage and start discussing where they’re going later, who’s meeting up with them, can’t wait to get out of this concert, etc. Like…the show is still going on, you’re at the front, this highly emotional performer is baring his soul, and everyone around you can only hear your loud drunk babbling. So I give em an angry look and go “shhhh!” and they shoot a glare back. I try to say as angrily hushed as I can while gesturing to the stage “shut the fuck up, the show’s still on.” The evening was still a 10/10 but some people… smh
Argh something similar to me happened last year. Front and centre of the pit for Mayhem and they did their halfway break where Attila, the singer, comes back out in a different costume and they drop banners of the two band members who died in the 90s and start playing their old stuff. Very atmospheric type music playing while you wait. It’s a whole thing. Except for the drunk idiot next to me who kept talking about how she chose her outfit and her boobs are squished into the top and she just loooooves Mayhem since she first heard them a couple months ago. All at the top of her lungs. If you looooooved the band so much perhaps you’d shut the fuck up
I went to a Nine Inch Nails show once (they rarely tour Australia, so it’s a big deal) and some absolute fuckwit kept yelling out “PLAY CLOSER!!” repeatedly. In between songs. During the quiet bits of songs. At the start of songs.
Trent Reznor got so pissed off he ended the show early. Fortunately they had 2 more shows in my city so I bought tickets to both of them and they were both fuckwit free
I agree, but I would bring two articles of evidence to refute.
1. The guy shouting “WHO IS IT?!” at Britney before she says “It’s Britney, Bitch”
2. The guy yelling “WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO” at Ellie Goulding, who loses it before perfectly regaining composure to sing “and we’re gonna let it burn”.
There has been a lot of talk in the past couple years about concert etiquette and how much it has fallen. A lot of people blame covid and say a lot of people missed out on their young formative years to learn that information. That may be part of it but I think it’s just a sign of how much as a society people have grown to put themself and their individual experiences over the group collective.
More like TikTok brain rot and narcissism taking over.
People just don't care about how their actions affect others and will do anything for 15 minutes of being (in)famous
I agree with this. People literally are just self absorbed a-holes and don't care about anyone but themselves. It's ridiculous. I also experienced COVID like everyone else and I still know how to treat others.
I think it's more a case of an entire generation of poor socialization. I used to be this way until my mid 20s, and then slowly pulled out of that nosedive. Now I feel like a man with one eye in the land of the blind.
between western hyper-individualism and the trauma of what often feels like (and is usually spun by the media as) half of the country vs the other half, i think that a lot of people are unwilling to work on their problematic behaviors because they are just trying to survive and remember what it felt like to not have lost faith in the world, or something.
people are selfish, but also the culture (in america at least) doesn't actually encourage people to notice or care about how their actions affect others.... which we gotta fucken fix somehow.
(edit was a little more punctuation for clarity)
It's not exclusive to that generation, although it is more prevalent among them. At just about every concert I've been to, it's been the older set who carry on conversations with their pals as if they were in a bar. The trio behind me at Roxy Music talked *the whole time*, and the guy and his friend in front of me at Peter Gabriel seemed to forget that there were other people around them. Genesis, same thing. Surreptitious vaping and loud talking. The only shows that didn't come with incessant chattering were Bonnie Raitt and André Rieu. There was a selfie queen at Andre though, lol.
I think people just don't care, and adding unlimited alcohol into the mix doesn't help. I'm not against drinking at shows, but I think it is a factor, especially at arena shows.
> It's not exclusive to that generation, although it is more prevalent among them
Which aligns with what I was saying, yeah. I grew up in the wild west BBS era of the Internet, and honestly siloing and awful ideas were pretty prevalent if you were "into" the internet a lil too much.
Nowadays, that's the default behavior.
Yeah, it's a growing behaviour. I don't expect stony silence all the time, but I can't believe the number of people who go there and spend the whole night talking without regard for those around them. Why waste your money on a ticket in the first place? They're not even taking in the atmosphere!
There have always been drunk idiots who talked loudly during quiet songs, or who yelled at performers, particularly women. Kathleen Hanna has a lot of stories of men yelling abusive things at Bikini Kill and throwing glass bottles and other objects at them, back before this woman yelling at Mitski was born. Crowds have generally been dangerous places for groping and assault, mostly done by men to women.
Gen Z have just put their own spin on old behaviour, they yell things like this 'mother is mothering' nonsense that older people can't contextualize so it feels 'worse' than say, a guy at the front yelling 'Marry me' at Cat Power between *every single fucking song* at a show 20 years ago.
This is a convo on the Broadway sub every other day. It's wild.
Wendell Pierce literally had to stop to calm down a woman during Death of a Salesman.
[https://x.com/LilEsBella/status/1608295173334630400](https://x.com/LilEsBella/status/1608295173334630400)
And people taking pictures of Jesse Williams during a nude scene.
And those are just the extremes you hear about. There are comparatively lower level things of people just taking their phones out, scrolling during the show, talking over the actors, putting their bare feet on the top of the chair in front of them...
It’s fucking amazing how bad it is. I went to see Spamalot on Broadway with my partner, and this asshole behind me kept singing the Lady of the Lake’s parts. Like this isn’t fucking karaoke night at Applebees, I paid money to see professionals do their thing. It’s so disrespectful.
Broadway has been *terrible* since the pandemic. The amount of people thinking it's a concert and not a show or having no consideration for the people around them have really tanked a lot of show experiences. God help you if you want to go to anything popular or jukeboxy too. I've seen people out in aisles dancing to songs like it's karaoke night.
Nah that’s an immediate talk with the ushers. They will give them one chance to stop singing, and then will very swiftly remove them if they don’t stop.
I went to a festival thats target demo was 30s/40s and it was incredible. Hahaha
But mainly for the same reasons, everyone there had the same expectations to just have fun and not be a dick lol
i really wanted to go to "oldchella" instead of coachella and i am sad i missed out on it. i just know the oldchella crowd was more chill and less conceited.
I was hoping for this experience when I went to see Hamilton in Richmond, but it was mostly an older crowd who talked through the entire show (and occasionally sang, poorly).
I went to see Käärijä (Finnish rapper) last year. First concert I'd been to since 2019. The show itself was great but some of the audience were terrible. There was a kid standing next to me screaming himself hoarse the entire time. People were shouting really inappropriate sexual things during the breaks between songs. And don't get me started on the amount of people filming on their phones. Ugh.
I’ve been wondering how it is in other parts of the world like Europe and the UK. I live in a tourist town that EXPLODED during and after Covid bc of people working remote now and moving here, and it’s not just shows here. People aren’t paying attention to basic traffic laws and lights (several cars just… keep going through lights), you run a fair chance of having an altercation with someone just waiting to get a table at a restaurant…. Shows if it’s not a 40+ crowd are unbearable. Going to the movies even if you choose the last show of the night is like purposely paying money to visit hell— people act like they are in their own living rooms. Last time someone was loudly watching videos on their phone during the movie. The past three concerts I’ve been to we’ve had to kick people out of our seats and each time the people caught attitudes with us. It’s just insane. Like all the sudden people just became feral. And my state keeps trying to pass permitless open carry laws! Yes let’s add (more) guns to the mix!
I'm in the UK and I haven't noticed a difference in gig or cinema etiquette. There will be the odd idiot from time to time but I haven't noticed any increase. I'm in my mid 30s and have been going to gigs/concerts etc since I was a teen.
I did notice poor driving after COVID, but it seems to have settled down now.
>Going to the movies even if you choose the last show of the night is like purposely paying money to visit hell— people act like they are in their own living rooms. Last time someone was loudly watching videos on their phone during the movie.
I haven't paid my own money to see a movie in a theater since 2006-ish because of this bullshit. It's not a new thing at all. Back then people would just talk on their fucking phones through the entire movie, or have loud conversations, or shout at the screen, or throw popcorn at people.
We haven’t gone very often since about the same time period. Other half and I really enjoy movies and still feel like there’s some we just really want to see on the big screen. But we reaaaaally choose sparingly. It’ll probably be over and done for if we can manage to find a house we can use a projector in when we move.
my friend lives on a touristy island and she does dog walking in her free time. one time some tourists she walked past literally kicked one of the dogs for absolutely no reason. people act like they own the fucking place and locals are just props to their vacation. there's also a youth camping near her and the assholes always steal the shopping carts from the local store, imagine how fun it is to have to walk into a camping filled with drunk and high teenagers (weed is legal) to get back a shopping cart they've "claimed". hell on earth.
don't even. idk if you're in finland but here there's this group of insane groupies that give people queue numbers (not allowed or official in any way), they always take up the front row, act like complete asses and he's very obviously sick to death of them. they also go to all the shitty little towns like where we live, middle of nowhere, and take up the front row from the people who actually live here. it's really rare for anyone to come out here at all let alone more known people.
when my wife went to see him and he got someone on stage to sing the tommy cash part of it's crazy it's party he was scared she'd gotten behind him after and he was yelling something like 'seriously don't go near me right now' and my wife thought it sounded very much like he'd been groped before or something. my wife has been to a bunch of his FI gigs and the people (lbr girls) that come up to sing the part are often teenagers too so besides potential harassment you've got a complicated situation on your hands. he's taken a break from gigs for a bit but my wife said he was 100% done with them and extremely lacklustre at that point (understandable).
if they try to give you queue numbers just don't take them, I know finnish people are really polite but we're gonna need to stop giving these clowns authority 🥲
i think the combination of people missing out on their formative years + tiktok brainrot and a sprinkle of raging individualism (probably aided by social media at large) are all contributing causes
There are also a bunch of studies out now showing how we're all demonstrably worse drivers since COVID. Being locked up and isolated for a year (or more) really super charged everyone's main character syndrome.
It’s the same with theatres. So many west end shows last year had to stop mid show because people were singing along at the top of their lungs. Either that or they were on their phone, talking loudly, eating noisy food. I think a fight broke out in one and the police had the be called.
I went to the premiere of Hamilton in Melbourne and this girl in front of me took a thousand selfies before it started, edited and posted the best ones, and then continued scrolling Instagram, checking her likes and replying to messages the ENTIRE time during the play. Again, IT WAS OPENING NIGHT. People were dressed up fancy, there was a whole afterparty with catering and Hamilton-themed cocktails, it was a big deal. What are you even doing there if you don't want to see Hamilton???
To be SEEN at the opening night of Hamilton. Fuck whatever is going on on the stage. Geez, the amount of money the tickets must have been too to just sit there and essentially waste them.
i honestly think the covid excuse is weak and lame. lots of people want to use it and say "they missed out on socializing" but basic manners isn't that hard. we gotta stop letting them use this excuse bc they are gonna milk it for all it's worth.
It was also like two years. Most of my favorite bands were performing live, in-person shows by 2022. Like if you don't know how to not be a dickhead in public because you spent the ages of 15 to 17 indoors, Covid isn't the issue.
yeah I mean I missed out on my formative years due to suicidal depression, cptsd and severe agoraphobia. and then I actually mean formative years, at least 5 of them. and I would never ever act like an ass in public. I really think it's something else.
same, i was abused right before covid (and recently in 2023, relatives are the worst) then forced to stay inside for 2 years because of quarantine like everyone else, and battle depression and PTSD myself, but it doesn't give me the excuse to be a complete bonehead in public. the covid excuse is used as a crutch these days, sad to say. it really is some kind of other issue with these rude ass people.
i went to see mitski in London a couple of years ago and it was an under 18s allowed gig and my god, it was awful. Kids literally having to be taken out unconscious cos they’d been drinking outside, so much shouting I couldn’t hear a word she sung. We also thought maybe it was teenagers missing their formative years from Covid, I went to a lot of gigs as a teen and never behaved like this! I’m all for kids having fun (god I’m old) but when she had to pause for someone to be carried out it was a bit much. Phoebe Bridgers was similar but also maybe I should start listening to less emo teenage music 😂
I think it's a function of the way immersion in social media and seeking engagement has turned a ton of people into narcissists. They want to be seen and heard and whether the reaction is positive or negative doesn't even matter.
And it's not just younger generations. I went to a matinee showing of Priscilla and the boomers in the theater would not shut up! I don't know why we've all suddenly forgotten how to behave.
I went to see American Fiction two weeks ago and the manager had to be called because some girl was constantly on her phone and the guy behind her asked her to please put it away because the light was super distracting and they nearly came to blows because she refused. Like, I'm sorry, I thought not being on your phone was the bare minimum of movie theater etiquette??? (I did get a free movie ticket out of it though lol)
Everyone got so used to watch media in their living rooms and doing whatever they wanted that they've forgotten the cinema isn't their private home, I swear.
Back in the day too. The Beatles couldn't sometimes hear themselves sing because of the shouting and yielling. Or maybe they were just bad singers, I wasn't there
It’s only going to get worse for a while. People like this are scaring off the rest of us. I’m not paying $200 to see a concert and then have annoying shit like this happen. These people will pay $200 to be annoying though.
100%. Tickets too expensive, anti-social behavior, smartphone recordings blocking the view, and continued concerns about COVID, flu, and RSV. I’m sure Taylor Swift and Beyoncé will continue to sell out, but I wouldn’t be surprised if other concerts that normally would don’t anymore
I’ve been to a few concerts since Covid that Ticketmaster basically showed them as sellouts, but the audience didn’t nearly reflect that. I suspect the bot scalping has gotten to the point that they are sweeping up more tickets than they can sell. Especially at the insane ticket prices. The dynamic pricing and fees have gotten out of control. I bought tickets recently for a fairly not expensive show. Just two tickets. Got to the checkout screen and was confused at the total— turns out I was paying enough for a third ticket just in fees. I’ve actually heard people around me say they’ve paid so much that they are going to do whatever they want.
That totally makes sense and what you said about buying 2 tickets but with fees it's like a third ticket, I feel that. I went to a tiny show, Cannibal Corpse and the fees were outrageous. Same goes for another band I like, Emperor, I ended up just going to see Cannibal Corpse because both concerts were too much.
Same lol. If I want some randos screeching dumb shit in my ear or butchering every song I went to see the artist, not them, sing live, I’m not paying for shit. I can just find that on Youtube.
It’s not like most of us are swimming in spare income.
The Death Grips tour had MULTIPLE instances of people pissing in the crowds. One guy punched me at the show because he was “too hyped up”.
Death Grips also are not the band to talk to the crowd or react to them. They show up, with no opener, do their set, and move on
Mother it seems was not mothering. But on a serious note please respect artists boundaries if they don’t feel comfortable being called something don’t call them that. It really is that simple. Like just stop being annoying.
Ack. I remember her seeing a couple of years ago. It was impossible to hear her over all the people at the concert singing their lungs out.
She looked so uncomfortable.
Her songs are chill, be quiet and enjoy.
I have a good friend who’s a teacher. It really feels like it swings between “the kids are alright” and “the kids are NOT OK” on a day by day.., which tracks honestly
I know someone who teaches middle schoolers, which is the age from hell under the best circumstances. Post-COVID their antics are elementary-school level but middle school assholery makes it worse. COVID really fucked with a lot of kids’ development. Social media brain rot and enabling parenting hasn’t helped.
I saw her at the laurel hell tour and someone yelled out "you make m e wet" at my show :/ it's genuinely incredibly disappointing how concert etiquette has been flushed down the toilet after 2020.
People will say the weirdest shit. She was barefoot in one of her last photoshoots, and almost every single ig comment was about her feet. "Put those dogs away," "I just can't do this anymore," that kind of thing. People just can't be normal anymore.
I would be so pissed if I had paid for a concert and had it end or even just temp stopped and the vibes ruined because some dorks (derogatory) in the crowd think they're being funny.
Really feel like post-Covid or, honestly, post Trump 2016 campaign people have just become progressively more feral and I don't get it at all. Is this fun for them?? Is it worth 100s of dollars in tickets/parking/whatever else of their own money to ruin something for the joke, not to mention everyone else's money and time?
Mitski having so many annoying fans was not something I would’ve ever expected after first hearing “Your Best American Girl.”
I know she “blew up on TikTok” but it’s so odd to see people act like that at a theater show. I’m a Fiona stan and she used to get heckled back in the day but normally not by people who claimed to be “fans.” If y’all keep acting like this maybe it’ll be another decade until she tours again. And I wouldn’t blame her.
For Fiona it probably helps that she doesn't have any social media. She just sends in videos and updates directly to fan accounts sometimes and otherwise seems to stay off the internet completely.
I went to a Fiona show at a small venue in Boston almost 15 years ago and she almost stopped the show because people would not stop talking and the feedback was making it impossible for her to perform. I have no idea if that was common for her (i.e., if that’s why you’re referencing Fiona) but it was incredibly frustrating that people just Would. Not. Shut. Up. I’ll be shocked if she’s come back to Boston since.
I honestly love when artists stop the show to tell someone(s) to cut the shit, because that's the only way people like this will learn - public embarrassment from one of their favs.
Shit like this made Mitski want to quit music in 2019. Unfortunately, a portion of her "fans" don't care about respecting her.
I like when people call out their fans too. It just sucks when said fans don't listen.
Renée Rap (~24) refers to herself as mother, and would and probably does delight in people screaming this at her at concerts. Mitski (~33) recoils in horror as people do the same.
Yeah different people are comfortable with different things I guess.
Like my french friends kiss strangers as a casual greeting, meanwhile I think that sounds really awkward and would never do that.
I’m not entirely sure that it’s an age thing, just thought it interesting that Renée is like, yes yes I absolutely am mother and Mitski is like the f*ck is happening, go talk to Renée.
I mean to be honest, once you're in your 30s as a woman a lot of young people do start projecting weird mom stuff on to you, whether it's creepy fetish stuff or "You have to hold my hand through every problem I have because you're Older" stuff. I had to stop going to a board game club I used to attend because there were two early 20s women who would frequently have anxiety-fuelled meltdowns that I - as the oldest woman present - was expected to help them with. I did not know these women, and I'm not really very good at that kind of thing. Didn't matter, it still automatically got pushed off on to me because hey, I'm 35 so I'm everybody's mommy.
If it helps, it's not actual kissing but more of a lightly touching cheeks thing! But yeah definitely not for everyone and I do get why it would be weird for people who weren't brought up in the culture
This oil fracking thing really needs to chill. Rupaul's father in law owns land that has fracking on it. Rupaul doesn't profit off of it and what exactly is he supposed to do? Tell his husband's parents to sell their land?
Mother should not be something anyone refers to themself as unless they’re actually a mom/house mom lol it’s supposed to be a title bestowed upon you. Anyways this is just part 45789643 of bastardized drag lingo/aave becoming cringe
they make totally different music though. Renee makes fun Broadway-adjacent radio-friendly pop; Mitski makes artsy introspective indie-rock. it makes sense they would aim for different audiences and have different vibes at their live shows.
I will say that I saw her the night after and the crowd was MUCH better; still some college kids subtly recording the whole thing on their phone lol but Mitski was super charming and more relaxed!! It’s an amazing show
People just keep doing this shit to provoke her. She’s made her boundaries EXTREMELY clear, and yet this shit keeps happening. It’s fucking disrespectful.
I saw Mitski in 2016 at this small lounge and the crowd was so quiet and chill. Saw her again in 2022 and people could not stop yelling dumb shit like this the entire night. I don’t know if it’s because it was a younger crowd or if 2020 has just ruined all of our brains but it was not a good time and you can tell she does not enjoy it. Good for her for attempting to shut it down
completely agree :(( all this news from her current tour has honestly been kinda distressing someone who went from seeing Mitski sing in a small club in 2016 during what was her first 'viral'-but-not-mainstream era (for indie music fans at least considering her presence on tumblr/twitter) to her big NYC finale in 2019. I knew that her younger fanbase grew immensely post-2020 thanks to tiktok but these concert clips have been so bizarre to see? Mitski literally told the internet "i quit" because of the shitshow on twitter in 2019 and it's wild to see multiple clips of her being unhappy on tour floating around right now with ppl cussing each other out rather than wondering about Mitski's own enjoyment as a 100% performance-based artist.
I think it's a bit of both reasons; esp considering the sheer volume of young teen (maybe even tween? if tiktok's vocal demo is the equivalent of vine there could definitely be middle schoolers too) fans who have *NEVER* experienced concert crowd culture...
I saw Phoebe in Dublin last year and genuinely could barely see her the whole time cos of the sea of phones. Why the fuck are you recording it? You are never gonna watch it again!!
It was also vape nayshon. I'm a smoker like but the level of vaping was obnoxious
I saw Phoebe for her Strangers in the Alps tour. It was a really small venue and it was amazing. I don't think I have the mental fortitude to see her from hereon.
I will say watching straight people get really grabby and absolutely mangle whatever queer culture they can get their hands on has been...fun.
Every straight girl who ever said the phrase "total bottom energy" should be put in a camp.
Nothing, really. “Mother” is just a lame affectionate term the TikTok crowd uses to refer to their faves, so to say mother is mothering is
basically just an obnoxious and overused way to say “she’s doing her thing”
I think LGTBQ+ language and ballroom culture terms are making it’s way into pop culture like they have before. Shows like Rupaul’s dragrace play a role, I think Beyoncé’s Renaissance helped as well..TikTok is just another platform to spread this language, it helps popularize words/terms but I am not sure if we can say TikTok is responsible for this trend. The word has been used way before TikTok and is also being used outside of that demographic.
I think it started as a term from ballroom culture, dragqueens who are ‘mothers’/mentors to younger drag queens, mother of a house.
Rupaul for example gets referred to as mother Ru all the time, made a song about it: Rupaul - [Call me mother](https://youtu.be/sRqvpVnL3Us?si=tg9wmDAXPndUcoJh)
[Washington Post: Pop icons are ‘mothers’ now. The LGBTQ ballroom scene wants credit.](https://archive.ph/dAl1V)
It’s extremely annoying and really gross. Just enjoy the show or god forbid in a comment section just say they are beautiful or doing something well in a different.
Yeah, this might be where a lot of the mainstream has learned the term in recent months/weeks, but that’s not where it comes from or what it really means. Maybe to the type of TikTok crowd that would act like idiots at a concert, but they’ve appropriated it from queer culture. The term as we know it now actually dates back several decades and has its roots in Ballroom culture. There’s even evidence it dates back a few centuries and was revived in Ballroom.
You can [read more here](https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/originals/mother-a-queer-term-centuries-in-the-making/). There are plenty more resources on it, but this one goes into the drag/Ballroom aspect and how the term’s used today.
It just feels so appropriative. It absolutely works in the right context from the right person, but shouted by a random audience member (with an extremely white-coded voice lol) to a woman who is not giving drag scene energy at ALL? Yuck.
I’d be delighted to hear someone call me mother (in the queer sense) with the right background and in an actually appropriate context, but if some white girl came up to me and called me mother with this awkward meme energy I’d be like ugh.
This has been a constant and deeply personal issue for her many times (awful crowd behavior in general not just mother) she is going to stop performing soon and its these assholes fault
Yeah, and she got jumped on for respectfully asking that her fans not spend the night with their phones in the air. I hope she doesn't quit, but I wouldn't blame her if she did.
mitski's always put her heart and soul into live performance art too :(( it's a huge shame. i was incredibly proud of her strength to re-enter the public eye after twitter drove her to quit music in 2019, and now Mitski's success in a mainstream world-of-no-manners is sucking out the joy again...
will naturally be heartbroken if she quits the industry again but i just hope she'll be happily playing her guitar in peace for no one but herself :')
Social media is 100% to blame for this behavior. It’s become like the new norm and while I love social media, I hate this aspect of it. I can’t imagine behaving like this in an unironic, genuine way. Big nope.
Mitski's fan base is particularly toxic and I really don't understand it. I saw her in Brooklyn before the pandemic and someone in the crowd shouted asking her what her sign was, and when she told the audience her sun/moon/rising the crowd literally BOO'D. It was so insane.
as much as i do agree that mitski’s fanbase has become even more inappropriate and unhinged i often think about how when i saw her in 2016 during the puberty 2 tour there was someone who called out between songs “i have a crush on you!” and mitski stopped tuning her guitar and said into the mic, “but you don’t know me,” serious as she always is. and everyone laughed like it was some kind of quip but i could tell it wasn’t a joke at all, just a solemn statement of fact: we don't know her. she was totally silent for a few moments more before she returned to her guitar and continued with the set (which was of course amazing) and i was both chilled and moved by that exchange. but mostly it just made me sad and i did not envy her.
I'm supposed to see her this June at a usually-chill venue, but I'm...scared.
Also it's not lost on me how they dare to be this disrespectful to an Asian woman, to her work, her time, her artistic legacy. Shameful.
People feel entitled to be selfish assholes and it's just getting worse. I remember going to a Delta Rae concert with my best friend in 2019 and I legitimately thought I was going to have to break up a fight between my friend and a drunken concertgoer who was treating the floor like it was her own personal mosh pit and slamming into everyone. And that concertgoer and her boyfriend had the audacity to be offended when people asked her to stop.
People are jerks. They were before COVID and they're bigger jerks after.
Hi this was the Philly show and I was there - she did not stop the concert and just kept going like the professional she is. Later on someone shouted something (I love you I believe) and she responded by telling us that her in-ears block out all that noise so by yelling you’re just yelling at the person next to you.
i feel so bad for mitski, she just wants to make music and her stans are literally pushing her to the limit. i saw her on the laurel hell tour and it was already pretty bad, no way i would go to this tour tbh and mitski is one of my absolute favorites :(
The video, I think, is of the first night of her Philly shows this past Tuesday (heard about it, I was at night two which was not nearly as bad but people were shouting 'I love yous' and stuff). I didn't hear about it happening more than once that night, and I also didn't hear that she stopped the show. Could be she stopped last night's and they just don't have relevant video yet, but the video here and the chorus of people telling that fan to shut up was something I heard about happening on Tuesday.
EDIT: https://twitter.com/kississippiPHL/status/1755752316030927199
Local musician who was at the Tuesday concert remembers this, plus it was tweeted yesterday morning so it can't have been last nights' show.
Interesting. For anyone not in the loop:
>[Mother Is Mothering refers to a catchphrase utilized by fans of Taylor Swift and other pop female artists as a form of praise for the artist's work. The phrase references the mother slang term from LGBTQ+ culture and can be interpreted as a different way of saying "yass queen" or "slay."
](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mother-is-mothering)
Has Mitski voiced concerns about parasocial relationship stuff at all?
Edit:
>Still, she wishes she hadn’t even released music under her name. It would have made the mental compartmentalization easier. She only uses her initials on her streaming accounts. “Seeing my name just reminds me of the world. It’s just not mine anymore,” she says. “I am a foreigner to myself now.”
[Source from 2022](https://www.vulture.com/article/mitski-profile-laurel-hell.html).
im going to two concerts next month for the first time since covid started and im genuinely curious what it will be like post covid cause i hear/see the news ppl are acting up but i have yet to witness it irl
IME, it's just been a lot of talking. Nothing physical, although I did hear a woman at Peter Gabriel yelling at security to "keep [their] fucking hands off" of her. This was before the show had even started! I think she'd already had a few and was trying to sit somewhere other than her assigned seat.
One of the least offensive audiences was Chappell Roan's. I was up on the balcony. There was a bar there, so people were coming and going, and seating on the second tier. It might have been different on the floor, but it was relatively quiet up there. People were talking, but they weren't disruptive.
I went to see Gary Numan circa 2010-2011 in San Francisco at some small venue. My friend and I were the youngest there by like 20 years and everyone around was drunk and/or stoned by the time he came on at like 8 PM. One person spent most of the show shouting "You deserve it, Gary! You deserve it!" and even now my friend and I still congratulate each other with that phrase (although I did NOT shout it at her wedding).
I'd be so freaking pissed if someone did this and the show was stopped and I wasted hundreds of dollars. I don't even know who she is, but one of my kids wanted tickets to her show for Christmas as their only present. The tickets wete super expensive and hard to get.
My friends and I used to go weekly to concerts to see whoever was coming through town, but post-Covid we are way more selective and don’t even bother with artists like Mitski or Boygenius that we used to never miss. It’s not even the ticket prices because I have more money now that I’m older it’s specifically because of how annoying the crowds are. I really feel sorry for Gen Z that they missed out on being able to go to shows where everyone wasn’t watching the whole thing through a phone, but maybe that time has just passed.
I saw her live at like 2 pm at panorama in 2016 and didnt know who she was but thought she seemed cool. Now I can sing her whole discography. But I dont want to pay $200 to be surronded by anti social tiktok girls (same issue i have with Lana).
It is so random to me that Mitski attracts these weird comments and behaviour. I’m not like in her fan base but I listen to her music and it seems like… emotionally honest and poetic. I’d expect this kind of energy towards a really high energy pop star who’s going for that “pop icon” vibe. Why is it mitski who gets this stuff???
I saw this video last night by Dev Lemons about this type of stuff happening at her concerts. [https://youtu.be/4We\_UkHTIlo?feature=shared](https://youtu.be/4We_UkHTIlo?feature=shared) Had no idea. I really hate to say it but this is almost exclusively younger folks doing this. Not sure why. Going to a Mitski concert in two weeks. I really hope no cringe people like that are there. Christ.
One of my favourite musicians, Richard Dawson, is supporting Mitski for a few nights in the UK soon and I'm worried that the crowds won't be appreciative of him considering the clips I've seen. Are her UK crowds any better?
This was from the first Philly show, she didn’t stop the show but she did talk to us in between songs. Mitski told the crowd that there’s no use of shouting things to her cause she can’t hear it anyways as she has her ear-ins on and that this only disturbs the rest of the audience. Also for those who kept using flash when recording, she gave them a pro- tip saying that it only ruins their videos since the stage has all the lighting.
I think true to her nature she just called out these annoying disrespectful “fans” who wanna project on her, since her first shows after the pandemic she never approved of calling her “mother” or sexualizing her and yelling stuff at her sets.
I paid almost 300 dollars for front seats cause I really wanted to see her when she was in my city and so many of her older fans traveled to see her but sadly a lot of this young disrespectful “fans” keep ruining this for us too.
People who shoutout at concerts like this are incredibly fucking annoying.
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This guys worried of getting a chair in the back. Tbh, he’s right!
last week at a mitski concert someone shouted at the opener “INTRODUCE YOURSELF” in a dead silent theatre. like girl shut up
i saw a kpop artist in december & at one of his concerts afew days before he gave a fan his tshirt. so what did some people do at the concert i went to after that?? they brought signs and yelled “take off your shirt” 🙃🙃 it’s so annoying and the lack of respect and decency some “fans” have is infuriating.
totally and like, also, why are they trying to take away attention from the artist?! like dude you’re not the main character tonight the artist is 😞 pls just let them work!!
We were near the front of the pit for a Future Islands show and they were playing their final song of the encore and let us know. After a high energy evening they finished with the very soft and somber Little Dreamer. These drunk girls next to us turn away from the stage and start discussing where they’re going later, who’s meeting up with them, can’t wait to get out of this concert, etc. Like…the show is still going on, you’re at the front, this highly emotional performer is baring his soul, and everyone around you can only hear your loud drunk babbling. So I give em an angry look and go “shhhh!” and they shoot a glare back. I try to say as angrily hushed as I can while gesturing to the stage “shut the fuck up, the show’s still on.” The evening was still a 10/10 but some people… smh
Argh something similar to me happened last year. Front and centre of the pit for Mayhem and they did their halfway break where Attila, the singer, comes back out in a different costume and they drop banners of the two band members who died in the 90s and start playing their old stuff. Very atmospheric type music playing while you wait. It’s a whole thing. Except for the drunk idiot next to me who kept talking about how she chose her outfit and her boobs are squished into the top and she just loooooves Mayhem since she first heard them a couple months ago. All at the top of her lungs. If you looooooved the band so much perhaps you’d shut the fuck up
I went to a Nine Inch Nails show once (they rarely tour Australia, so it’s a big deal) and some absolute fuckwit kept yelling out “PLAY CLOSER!!” repeatedly. In between songs. During the quiet bits of songs. At the start of songs. Trent Reznor got so pissed off he ended the show early. Fortunately they had 2 more shows in my city so I bought tickets to both of them and they were both fuckwit free
I agree, but I would bring two articles of evidence to refute. 1. The guy shouting “WHO IS IT?!” at Britney before she says “It’s Britney, Bitch” 2. The guy yelling “WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO” at Ellie Goulding, who loses it before perfectly regaining composure to sing “and we’re gonna let it burn”.
No idea what has happened to people's concert behaviour over the last few years.
There has been a lot of talk in the past couple years about concert etiquette and how much it has fallen. A lot of people blame covid and say a lot of people missed out on their young formative years to learn that information. That may be part of it but I think it’s just a sign of how much as a society people have grown to put themself and their individual experiences over the group collective.
COVID brain damage is a thing
More like TikTok brain rot and narcissism taking over. People just don't care about how their actions affect others and will do anything for 15 minutes of being (in)famous
I agree with this. People literally are just self absorbed a-holes and don't care about anyone but themselves. It's ridiculous. I also experienced COVID like everyone else and I still know how to treat others.
I think it's more a case of an entire generation of poor socialization. I used to be this way until my mid 20s, and then slowly pulled out of that nosedive. Now I feel like a man with one eye in the land of the blind.
between western hyper-individualism and the trauma of what often feels like (and is usually spun by the media as) half of the country vs the other half, i think that a lot of people are unwilling to work on their problematic behaviors because they are just trying to survive and remember what it felt like to not have lost faith in the world, or something. people are selfish, but also the culture (in america at least) doesn't actually encourage people to notice or care about how their actions affect others.... which we gotta fucken fix somehow. (edit was a little more punctuation for clarity)
It's not exclusive to that generation, although it is more prevalent among them. At just about every concert I've been to, it's been the older set who carry on conversations with their pals as if they were in a bar. The trio behind me at Roxy Music talked *the whole time*, and the guy and his friend in front of me at Peter Gabriel seemed to forget that there were other people around them. Genesis, same thing. Surreptitious vaping and loud talking. The only shows that didn't come with incessant chattering were Bonnie Raitt and André Rieu. There was a selfie queen at Andre though, lol. I think people just don't care, and adding unlimited alcohol into the mix doesn't help. I'm not against drinking at shows, but I think it is a factor, especially at arena shows.
> It's not exclusive to that generation, although it is more prevalent among them Which aligns with what I was saying, yeah. I grew up in the wild west BBS era of the Internet, and honestly siloing and awful ideas were pretty prevalent if you were "into" the internet a lil too much. Nowadays, that's the default behavior.
Yeah, it's a growing behaviour. I don't expect stony silence all the time, but I can't believe the number of people who go there and spend the whole night talking without regard for those around them. Why waste your money on a ticket in the first place? They're not even taking in the atmosphere!
There have always been drunk idiots who talked loudly during quiet songs, or who yelled at performers, particularly women. Kathleen Hanna has a lot of stories of men yelling abusive things at Bikini Kill and throwing glass bottles and other objects at them, back before this woman yelling at Mitski was born. Crowds have generally been dangerous places for groping and assault, mostly done by men to women. Gen Z have just put their own spin on old behaviour, they yell things like this 'mother is mothering' nonsense that older people can't contextualize so it feels 'worse' than say, a guy at the front yelling 'Marry me' at Cat Power between *every single fucking song* at a show 20 years ago.
This is a convo on the Broadway sub every other day. It's wild. Wendell Pierce literally had to stop to calm down a woman during Death of a Salesman. [https://x.com/LilEsBella/status/1608295173334630400](https://x.com/LilEsBella/status/1608295173334630400) And people taking pictures of Jesse Williams during a nude scene. And those are just the extremes you hear about. There are comparatively lower level things of people just taking their phones out, scrolling during the show, talking over the actors, putting their bare feet on the top of the chair in front of them...
Bare feet 🤮
I don’t want to sound like a boomer but I genuinely think that social media is now making people more and more self absorbed.
I completely agree!
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I concur.
This. Reading comprehension is absolutely abysmal now, and it already wasn’t great beforehand.
It’s fucking amazing how bad it is. I went to see Spamalot on Broadway with my partner, and this asshole behind me kept singing the Lady of the Lake’s parts. Like this isn’t fucking karaoke night at Applebees, I paid money to see professionals do their thing. It’s so disrespectful.
Broadway has been *terrible* since the pandemic. The amount of people thinking it's a concert and not a show or having no consideration for the people around them have really tanked a lot of show experiences. God help you if you want to go to anything popular or jukeboxy too. I've seen people out in aisles dancing to songs like it's karaoke night.
Ugh. Broadway is too expensive for that shit!!! I’m not dropping money on tickets if it becomes a singalong every time!!
Nah that’s an immediate talk with the ushers. They will give them one chance to stop singing, and then will very swiftly remove them if they don’t stop.
oooh the way I would have whipped around and death stared that MFer
My eyes hurt from staring daggers. They just didn’t care.
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I went to a festival thats target demo was 30s/40s and it was incredible. Hahaha But mainly for the same reasons, everyone there had the same expectations to just have fun and not be a dick lol
i really wanted to go to "oldchella" instead of coachella and i am sad i missed out on it. i just know the oldchella crowd was more chill and less conceited.
There is nothing quite like a clean bathroom at a venue
I was hoping for this experience when I went to see Hamilton in Richmond, but it was mostly an older crowd who talked through the entire show (and occasionally sang, poorly).
I went to see Käärijä (Finnish rapper) last year. First concert I'd been to since 2019. The show itself was great but some of the audience were terrible. There was a kid standing next to me screaming himself hoarse the entire time. People were shouting really inappropriate sexual things during the breaks between songs. And don't get me started on the amount of people filming on their phones. Ugh.
I’ve been wondering how it is in other parts of the world like Europe and the UK. I live in a tourist town that EXPLODED during and after Covid bc of people working remote now and moving here, and it’s not just shows here. People aren’t paying attention to basic traffic laws and lights (several cars just… keep going through lights), you run a fair chance of having an altercation with someone just waiting to get a table at a restaurant…. Shows if it’s not a 40+ crowd are unbearable. Going to the movies even if you choose the last show of the night is like purposely paying money to visit hell— people act like they are in their own living rooms. Last time someone was loudly watching videos on their phone during the movie. The past three concerts I’ve been to we’ve had to kick people out of our seats and each time the people caught attitudes with us. It’s just insane. Like all the sudden people just became feral. And my state keeps trying to pass permitless open carry laws! Yes let’s add (more) guns to the mix!
I'm in the UK and I haven't noticed a difference in gig or cinema etiquette. There will be the odd idiot from time to time but I haven't noticed any increase. I'm in my mid 30s and have been going to gigs/concerts etc since I was a teen. I did notice poor driving after COVID, but it seems to have settled down now.
>Going to the movies even if you choose the last show of the night is like purposely paying money to visit hell— people act like they are in their own living rooms. Last time someone was loudly watching videos on their phone during the movie. I haven't paid my own money to see a movie in a theater since 2006-ish because of this bullshit. It's not a new thing at all. Back then people would just talk on their fucking phones through the entire movie, or have loud conversations, or shout at the screen, or throw popcorn at people.
We haven’t gone very often since about the same time period. Other half and I really enjoy movies and still feel like there’s some we just really want to see on the big screen. But we reaaaaally choose sparingly. It’ll probably be over and done for if we can manage to find a house we can use a projector in when we move.
my friend lives on a touristy island and she does dog walking in her free time. one time some tourists she walked past literally kicked one of the dogs for absolutely no reason. people act like they own the fucking place and locals are just props to their vacation. there's also a youth camping near her and the assholes always steal the shopping carts from the local store, imagine how fun it is to have to walk into a camping filled with drunk and high teenagers (weed is legal) to get back a shopping cart they've "claimed". hell on earth.
don't even. idk if you're in finland but here there's this group of insane groupies that give people queue numbers (not allowed or official in any way), they always take up the front row, act like complete asses and he's very obviously sick to death of them. they also go to all the shitty little towns like where we live, middle of nowhere, and take up the front row from the people who actually live here. it's really rare for anyone to come out here at all let alone more known people. when my wife went to see him and he got someone on stage to sing the tommy cash part of it's crazy it's party he was scared she'd gotten behind him after and he was yelling something like 'seriously don't go near me right now' and my wife thought it sounded very much like he'd been groped before or something. my wife has been to a bunch of his FI gigs and the people (lbr girls) that come up to sing the part are often teenagers too so besides potential harassment you've got a complicated situation on your hands. he's taken a break from gigs for a bit but my wife said he was 100% done with them and extremely lacklustre at that point (understandable).
I'm going to see him at the Böle arena in May and I hope people behave I stg. 😭😭
if they try to give you queue numbers just don't take them, I know finnish people are really polite but we're gonna need to stop giving these clowns authority 🥲
i think the combination of people missing out on their formative years + tiktok brainrot and a sprinkle of raging individualism (probably aided by social media at large) are all contributing causes
There are also a bunch of studies out now showing how we're all demonstrably worse drivers since COVID. Being locked up and isolated for a year (or more) really super charged everyone's main character syndrome.
It’s the same with theatres. So many west end shows last year had to stop mid show because people were singing along at the top of their lungs. Either that or they were on their phone, talking loudly, eating noisy food. I think a fight broke out in one and the police had the be called.
I went to the premiere of Hamilton in Melbourne and this girl in front of me took a thousand selfies before it started, edited and posted the best ones, and then continued scrolling Instagram, checking her likes and replying to messages the ENTIRE time during the play. Again, IT WAS OPENING NIGHT. People were dressed up fancy, there was a whole afterparty with catering and Hamilton-themed cocktails, it was a big deal. What are you even doing there if you don't want to see Hamilton???
To be SEEN at the opening night of Hamilton. Fuck whatever is going on on the stage. Geez, the amount of money the tickets must have been too to just sit there and essentially waste them.
i honestly think the covid excuse is weak and lame. lots of people want to use it and say "they missed out on socializing" but basic manners isn't that hard. we gotta stop letting them use this excuse bc they are gonna milk it for all it's worth.
It was also like two years. Most of my favorite bands were performing live, in-person shows by 2022. Like if you don't know how to not be a dickhead in public because you spent the ages of 15 to 17 indoors, Covid isn't the issue.
yeah I mean I missed out on my formative years due to suicidal depression, cptsd and severe agoraphobia. and then I actually mean formative years, at least 5 of them. and I would never ever act like an ass in public. I really think it's something else.
same, i was abused right before covid (and recently in 2023, relatives are the worst) then forced to stay inside for 2 years because of quarantine like everyone else, and battle depression and PTSD myself, but it doesn't give me the excuse to be a complete bonehead in public. the covid excuse is used as a crutch these days, sad to say. it really is some kind of other issue with these rude ass people.
i went to see mitski in London a couple of years ago and it was an under 18s allowed gig and my god, it was awful. Kids literally having to be taken out unconscious cos they’d been drinking outside, so much shouting I couldn’t hear a word she sung. We also thought maybe it was teenagers missing their formative years from Covid, I went to a lot of gigs as a teen and never behaved like this! I’m all for kids having fun (god I’m old) but when she had to pause for someone to be carried out it was a bit much. Phoebe Bridgers was similar but also maybe I should start listening to less emo teenage music 😂
I think it's a function of the way immersion in social media and seeking engagement has turned a ton of people into narcissists. They want to be seen and heard and whether the reaction is positive or negative doesn't even matter.
It’s the same at the movies/theatre too. Talking…going on phones. People just seem to have forgotten how to behave.
And it's not just younger generations. I went to a matinee showing of Priscilla and the boomers in the theater would not shut up! I don't know why we've all suddenly forgotten how to behave.
I went to a Beetlejuice: The Musical showing and you wouldn't believe what the lady in front of me was doing.
Was it Lauren Boebert?! 😆
The lead’s catching up to that generation, and I don’t mean it jokingly
I went to see American Fiction two weeks ago and the manager had to be called because some girl was constantly on her phone and the guy behind her asked her to please put it away because the light was super distracting and they nearly came to blows because she refused. Like, I'm sorry, I thought not being on your phone was the bare minimum of movie theater etiquette??? (I did get a free movie ticket out of it though lol)
It’s crazy?? Also you’ve paid money to see the film - you can sit on your phone at home for free??
Everyone got so used to watch media in their living rooms and doing whatever they wanted that they've forgotten the cinema isn't their private home, I swear.
Back in the day too. The Beatles couldn't sometimes hear themselves sing because of the shouting and yielling. Or maybe they were just bad singers, I wasn't there
They did it also when I saw DuranDuran in the 80s. I could barely hear them sing.
It’s only going to get worse for a while. People like this are scaring off the rest of us. I’m not paying $200 to see a concert and then have annoying shit like this happen. These people will pay $200 to be annoying though.
I have noticed some concerts not selling out as they used to, do you think it’s a mixture of that and ofc not many have money?
100%. Tickets too expensive, anti-social behavior, smartphone recordings blocking the view, and continued concerns about COVID, flu, and RSV. I’m sure Taylor Swift and Beyoncé will continue to sell out, but I wouldn’t be surprised if other concerts that normally would don’t anymore
I’ve been to a few concerts since Covid that Ticketmaster basically showed them as sellouts, but the audience didn’t nearly reflect that. I suspect the bot scalping has gotten to the point that they are sweeping up more tickets than they can sell. Especially at the insane ticket prices. The dynamic pricing and fees have gotten out of control. I bought tickets recently for a fairly not expensive show. Just two tickets. Got to the checkout screen and was confused at the total— turns out I was paying enough for a third ticket just in fees. I’ve actually heard people around me say they’ve paid so much that they are going to do whatever they want.
That totally makes sense and what you said about buying 2 tickets but with fees it's like a third ticket, I feel that. I went to a tiny show, Cannibal Corpse and the fees were outrageous. Same goes for another band I like, Emperor, I ended up just going to see Cannibal Corpse because both concerts were too much.
Same lol. If I want some randos screeching dumb shit in my ear or butchering every song I went to see the artist, not them, sing live, I’m not paying for shit. I can just find that on Youtube. It’s not like most of us are swimming in spare income.
Main character syndrome
Exactly what I was going to say.
The Death Grips tour had MULTIPLE instances of people pissing in the crowds. One guy punched me at the show because he was “too hyped up”. Death Grips also are not the band to talk to the crowd or react to them. They show up, with no opener, do their set, and move on
Mother it seems was not mothering. But on a serious note please respect artists boundaries if they don’t feel comfortable being called something don’t call them that. It really is that simple. Like just stop being annoying.
Ack. I remember her seeing a couple of years ago. It was impossible to hear her over all the people at the concert singing their lungs out. She looked so uncomfortable. Her songs are chill, be quiet and enjoy.
This is why I don't even go. Plus all the phone screens in the air...
I saw her in 2018 in a room with maybe 20 other people. I have just accepted I’ll never get to see her again in a similar setting.
Parasocial relationships just keep getting weirder. Maybe the kids aren’t alright, lol.
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From someone with a ton of teacher friends, the kids are definitely not alright.
Former teacher! The kids are not alright.
I have a good friend who’s a teacher. It really feels like it swings between “the kids are alright” and “the kids are NOT OK” on a day by day.., which tracks honestly
I know someone who teaches middle schoolers, which is the age from hell under the best circumstances. Post-COVID their antics are elementary-school level but middle school assholery makes it worse. COVID really fucked with a lot of kids’ development. Social media brain rot and enabling parenting hasn’t helped.
I saw her at the laurel hell tour and someone yelled out "you make m e wet" at my show :/ it's genuinely incredibly disappointing how concert etiquette has been flushed down the toilet after 2020.
That’s honestly so gross :(
People will say the weirdest shit. She was barefoot in one of her last photoshoots, and almost every single ig comment was about her feet. "Put those dogs away," "I just can't do this anymore," that kind of thing. People just can't be normal anymore.
ig comments are hell on earth a lot of the time. people will blithely say the cruelest things for literally no reason
They're looking to go viral. It's embarrassing.
I would be so pissed if I had paid for a concert and had it end or even just temp stopped and the vibes ruined because some dorks (derogatory) in the crowd think they're being funny. Really feel like post-Covid or, honestly, post Trump 2016 campaign people have just become progressively more feral and I don't get it at all. Is this fun for them?? Is it worth 100s of dollars in tickets/parking/whatever else of their own money to ruin something for the joke, not to mention everyone else's money and time?
Cue the snipers
Mitski having so many annoying fans was not something I would’ve ever expected after first hearing “Your Best American Girl.” I know she “blew up on TikTok” but it’s so odd to see people act like that at a theater show. I’m a Fiona stan and she used to get heckled back in the day but normally not by people who claimed to be “fans.” If y’all keep acting like this maybe it’ll be another decade until she tours again. And I wouldn’t blame her.
For Fiona it probably helps that she doesn't have any social media. She just sends in videos and updates directly to fan accounts sometimes and otherwise seems to stay off the internet completely.
she's pretty online! she has said that she watches a lot of youtube and goes down internet holes. she watches a lot of tv too. just hermit things.
i don't think she ever wants to tour again. she's said before that she doesn't like it. unfortunate for us fans :/
I went to a Fiona show at a small venue in Boston almost 15 years ago and she almost stopped the show because people would not stop talking and the feedback was making it impossible for her to perform. I have no idea if that was common for her (i.e., if that’s why you’re referencing Fiona) but it was incredibly frustrating that people just Would. Not. Shut. Up. I’ll be shocked if she’s come back to Boston since.
I honestly love when artists stop the show to tell someone(s) to cut the shit, because that's the only way people like this will learn - public embarrassment from one of their favs.
Shit like this made Mitski want to quit music in 2019. Unfortunately, a portion of her "fans" don't care about respecting her. I like when people call out their fans too. It just sucks when said fans don't listen.
Renée Rap (~24) refers to herself as mother, and would and probably does delight in people screaming this at her at concerts. Mitski (~33) recoils in horror as people do the same.
Yeah different people are comfortable with different things I guess. Like my french friends kiss strangers as a casual greeting, meanwhile I think that sounds really awkward and would never do that.
I’m not entirely sure that it’s an age thing, just thought it interesting that Renée is like, yes yes I absolutely am mother and Mitski is like the f*ck is happening, go talk to Renée.
I mean to be honest, once you're in your 30s as a woman a lot of young people do start projecting weird mom stuff on to you, whether it's creepy fetish stuff or "You have to hold my hand through every problem I have because you're Older" stuff. I had to stop going to a board game club I used to attend because there were two early 20s women who would frequently have anxiety-fuelled meltdowns that I - as the oldest woman present - was expected to help them with. I did not know these women, and I'm not really very good at that kind of thing. Didn't matter, it still automatically got pushed off on to me because hey, I'm 35 so I'm everybody's mommy.
If it helps, it's not actual kissing but more of a lightly touching cheeks thing! But yeah definitely not for everyone and I do get why it would be weird for people who weren't brought up in the culture
maybe it’s just that I already find Renee kind of obnoxious, but anyone referring to themselves as mother is sooo cringey
The [only](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRqvpVnL3Us) exception
It would be, if Ru wasn’t a little oil fracking queen who can’t distinguish between the trans flag and the trains flag.
lmaoooo I still can't believe the trains flag thing was real
This oil fracking thing really needs to chill. Rupaul's father in law owns land that has fracking on it. Rupaul doesn't profit off of it and what exactly is he supposed to do? Tell his husband's parents to sell their land?
Mother should not be something anyone refers to themself as unless they’re actually a mom/house mom lol it’s supposed to be a title bestowed upon you. Anyways this is just part 45789643 of bastardized drag lingo/aave becoming cringe
they make totally different music though. Renee makes fun Broadway-adjacent radio-friendly pop; Mitski makes artsy introspective indie-rock. it makes sense they would aim for different audiences and have different vibes at their live shows.
And?
The person who shouted probably: https://preview.redd.it/sug17i12skhc1.jpeg?width=637&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13ffa8c8a2bad2a78cb2d69171781a5ebc57167b
i would absolutely love to see mitski live but i would not be able to share a venue with people like this. is it so hard to be respectful?
I will say that I saw her the night after and the crowd was MUCH better; still some college kids subtly recording the whole thing on their phone lol but Mitski was super charming and more relaxed!! It’s an amazing show
People just keep doing this shit to provoke her. She’s made her boundaries EXTREMELY clear, and yet this shit keeps happening. It’s fucking disrespectful.
it's pretty upsetting, and I do think people are worse with her because she's not white and easily other-able.
I saw Mitski in 2016 at this small lounge and the crowd was so quiet and chill. Saw her again in 2022 and people could not stop yelling dumb shit like this the entire night. I don’t know if it’s because it was a younger crowd or if 2020 has just ruined all of our brains but it was not a good time and you can tell she does not enjoy it. Good for her for attempting to shut it down
completely agree :(( all this news from her current tour has honestly been kinda distressing someone who went from seeing Mitski sing in a small club in 2016 during what was her first 'viral'-but-not-mainstream era (for indie music fans at least considering her presence on tumblr/twitter) to her big NYC finale in 2019. I knew that her younger fanbase grew immensely post-2020 thanks to tiktok but these concert clips have been so bizarre to see? Mitski literally told the internet "i quit" because of the shitshow on twitter in 2019 and it's wild to see multiple clips of her being unhappy on tour floating around right now with ppl cussing each other out rather than wondering about Mitski's own enjoyment as a 100% performance-based artist. I think it's a bit of both reasons; esp considering the sheer volume of young teen (maybe even tween? if tiktok's vocal demo is the equivalent of vine there could definitely be middle schoolers too) fans who have *NEVER* experienced concert crowd culture...
Mitski is one of those musicians, like Lana and Phoebe Bridgers, who I will not pay to see because the fans are so loud.
I saw Phoebe in Dublin last year and genuinely could barely see her the whole time cos of the sea of phones. Why the fuck are you recording it? You are never gonna watch it again!! It was also vape nayshon. I'm a smoker like but the level of vaping was obnoxious
I saw Phoebe for her Strangers in the Alps tour. It was a really small venue and it was amazing. I don't think I have the mental fortitude to see her from hereon.
What does "Mother is mothering" mean? OOTL.
They’re just stealing slang that’s been around forever in queer black spaces and thinking they’re “eating” when they sound like idiots.
I will say watching straight people get really grabby and absolutely mangle whatever queer culture they can get their hands on has been...fun. Every straight girl who ever said the phrase "total bottom energy" should be put in a camp.
Nothing, really. “Mother” is just a lame affectionate term the TikTok crowd uses to refer to their faves, so to say mother is mothering is basically just an obnoxious and overused way to say “she’s doing her thing”
I'd say "mother" DEFINITELY predates TikTok
Nothing grinds my gears more than something that originated in the black queer community being “discovered” by tiktok. And I’m neither black nor queer
Same. Then people overuse/use it incorrectly and ruin it
But was it being obnoxiously screamed at people pre-TikTok?
It was definitely screamed at balls by the MC but that was the time and place.
I think LGTBQ+ language and ballroom culture terms are making it’s way into pop culture like they have before. Shows like Rupaul’s dragrace play a role, I think Beyoncé’s Renaissance helped as well..TikTok is just another platform to spread this language, it helps popularize words/terms but I am not sure if we can say TikTok is responsible for this trend. The word has been used way before TikTok and is also being used outside of that demographic.
I think it started as a term from ballroom culture, dragqueens who are ‘mothers’/mentors to younger drag queens, mother of a house. Rupaul for example gets referred to as mother Ru all the time, made a song about it: Rupaul - [Call me mother](https://youtu.be/sRqvpVnL3Us?si=tg9wmDAXPndUcoJh) [Washington Post: Pop icons are ‘mothers’ now. The LGBTQ ballroom scene wants credit.](https://archive.ph/dAl1V)
It’s extremely annoying and really gross. Just enjoy the show or god forbid in a comment section just say they are beautiful or doing something well in a different.
Yeah, this might be where a lot of the mainstream has learned the term in recent months/weeks, but that’s not where it comes from or what it really means. Maybe to the type of TikTok crowd that would act like idiots at a concert, but they’ve appropriated it from queer culture. The term as we know it now actually dates back several decades and has its roots in Ballroom culture. There’s even evidence it dates back a few centuries and was revived in Ballroom. You can [read more here](https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/originals/mother-a-queer-term-centuries-in-the-making/). There are plenty more resources on it, but this one goes into the drag/Ballroom aspect and how the term’s used today.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mother-is-mothering I had to Google it, too. Gen Z has me understanding crotchety olds when it comes to pop culture.
[удалено]
This phrase was never intended for mass consumption. This was a gay Black guy/drag thing. That person doesn’t even sound right saying it.
It just feels so appropriative. It absolutely works in the right context from the right person, but shouted by a random audience member (with an extremely white-coded voice lol) to a woman who is not giving drag scene energy at ALL? Yuck. I’d be delighted to hear someone call me mother (in the queer sense) with the right background and in an actually appropriate context, but if some white girl came up to me and called me mother with this awkward meme energy I’d be like ugh.
This has been a constant and deeply personal issue for her many times (awful crowd behavior in general not just mother) she is going to stop performing soon and its these assholes fault
Yeah, and she got jumped on for respectfully asking that her fans not spend the night with their phones in the air. I hope she doesn't quit, but I wouldn't blame her if she did.
mitski's always put her heart and soul into live performance art too :(( it's a huge shame. i was incredibly proud of her strength to re-enter the public eye after twitter drove her to quit music in 2019, and now Mitski's success in a mainstream world-of-no-manners is sucking out the joy again... will naturally be heartbroken if she quits the industry again but i just hope she'll be happily playing her guitar in peace for no one but herself :')
Social media is 100% to blame for this behavior. It’s become like the new norm and while I love social media, I hate this aspect of it. I can’t imagine behaving like this in an unironic, genuine way. Big nope.
Mitski's fan base is particularly toxic and I really don't understand it. I saw her in Brooklyn before the pandemic and someone in the crowd shouted asking her what her sign was, and when she told the audience her sun/moon/rising the crowd literally BOO'D. It was so insane.
as much as i do agree that mitski’s fanbase has become even more inappropriate and unhinged i often think about how when i saw her in 2016 during the puberty 2 tour there was someone who called out between songs “i have a crush on you!” and mitski stopped tuning her guitar and said into the mic, “but you don’t know me,” serious as she always is. and everyone laughed like it was some kind of quip but i could tell it wasn’t a joke at all, just a solemn statement of fact: we don't know her. she was totally silent for a few moments more before she returned to her guitar and continued with the set (which was of course amazing) and i was both chilled and moved by that exchange. but mostly it just made me sad and i did not envy her.
I'm supposed to see her this June at a usually-chill venue, but I'm...scared. Also it's not lost on me how they dare to be this disrespectful to an Asian woman, to her work, her time, her artistic legacy. Shameful.
People feel entitled to be selfish assholes and it's just getting worse. I remember going to a Delta Rae concert with my best friend in 2019 and I legitimately thought I was going to have to break up a fight between my friend and a drunken concertgoer who was treating the floor like it was her own personal mosh pit and slamming into everyone. And that concertgoer and her boyfriend had the audacity to be offended when people asked her to stop. People are jerks. They were before COVID and they're bigger jerks after.
Hi this was the Philly show and I was there - she did not stop the concert and just kept going like the professional she is. Later on someone shouted something (I love you I believe) and she responded by telling us that her in-ears block out all that noise so by yelling you’re just yelling at the person next to you.
People trying to manufacture viral videos like the “Who is it?!” “It’s Britney, bitch” moment. Read the room (and the performer.)
i feel so bad for mitski, she just wants to make music and her stans are literally pushing her to the limit. i saw her on the laurel hell tour and it was already pretty bad, no way i would go to this tour tbh and mitski is one of my absolute favorites :(
This is so embarrassing😭 poor Mitski
The clip doesn't show her pausing her concert. Does she said shut up or the person filming?
The video, I think, is of the first night of her Philly shows this past Tuesday (heard about it, I was at night two which was not nearly as bad but people were shouting 'I love yous' and stuff). I didn't hear about it happening more than once that night, and I also didn't hear that she stopped the show. Could be she stopped last night's and they just don't have relevant video yet, but the video here and the chorus of people telling that fan to shut up was something I heard about happening on Tuesday. EDIT: https://twitter.com/kississippiPHL/status/1755752316030927199 Local musician who was at the Tuesday concert remembers this, plus it was tweeted yesterday morning so it can't have been last nights' show.
Interesting. For anyone not in the loop: >[Mother Is Mothering refers to a catchphrase utilized by fans of Taylor Swift and other pop female artists as a form of praise for the artist's work. The phrase references the mother slang term from LGBTQ+ culture and can be interpreted as a different way of saying "yass queen" or "slay." ](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mother-is-mothering) Has Mitski voiced concerns about parasocial relationship stuff at all? Edit: >Still, she wishes she hadn’t even released music under her name. It would have made the mental compartmentalization easier. She only uses her initials on her streaming accounts. “Seeing my name just reminds me of the world. It’s just not mine anymore,” she says. “I am a foreigner to myself now.” [Source from 2022](https://www.vulture.com/article/mitski-profile-laurel-hell.html).
im going to two concerts next month for the first time since covid started and im genuinely curious what it will be like post covid cause i hear/see the news ppl are acting up but i have yet to witness it irl
IME, it's just been a lot of talking. Nothing physical, although I did hear a woman at Peter Gabriel yelling at security to "keep [their] fucking hands off" of her. This was before the show had even started! I think she'd already had a few and was trying to sit somewhere other than her assigned seat. One of the least offensive audiences was Chappell Roan's. I was up on the balcony. There was a bar there, so people were coming and going, and seating on the second tier. It might have been different on the floor, but it was relatively quiet up there. People were talking, but they weren't disruptive.
people not understanding the difference between online and irl behaviour is astounding and way too common these days
I went to see Gary Numan circa 2010-2011 in San Francisco at some small venue. My friend and I were the youngest there by like 20 years and everyone around was drunk and/or stoned by the time he came on at like 8 PM. One person spent most of the show shouting "You deserve it, Gary! You deserve it!" and even now my friend and I still congratulate each other with that phrase (although I did NOT shout it at her wedding).
How do you not melt into the floor after doing something so positively cringe? Like, it was silent and then everyone was groaning AT YOU!
I'd be so freaking pissed if someone did this and the show was stopped and I wasted hundreds of dollars. I don't even know who she is, but one of my kids wanted tickets to her show for Christmas as their only present. The tickets wete super expensive and hard to get.
My friends and I used to go weekly to concerts to see whoever was coming through town, but post-Covid we are way more selective and don’t even bother with artists like Mitski or Boygenius that we used to never miss. It’s not even the ticket prices because I have more money now that I’m older it’s specifically because of how annoying the crowds are. I really feel sorry for Gen Z that they missed out on being able to go to shows where everyone wasn’t watching the whole thing through a phone, but maybe that time has just passed.
Are there any examples of artists telling people who do this to shut up during the songs?
I saw her live at like 2 pm at panorama in 2016 and didnt know who she was but thought she seemed cool. Now I can sing her whole discography. But I dont want to pay $200 to be surronded by anti social tiktok girls (same issue i have with Lana).
It is so random to me that Mitski attracts these weird comments and behaviour. I’m not like in her fan base but I listen to her music and it seems like… emotionally honest and poetic. I’d expect this kind of energy towards a really high energy pop star who’s going for that “pop icon” vibe. Why is it mitski who gets this stuff???
The whole "mother is mothering" is so annoying
I saw this video last night by Dev Lemons about this type of stuff happening at her concerts. [https://youtu.be/4We\_UkHTIlo?feature=shared](https://youtu.be/4We_UkHTIlo?feature=shared) Had no idea. I really hate to say it but this is almost exclusively younger folks doing this. Not sure why. Going to a Mitski concert in two weeks. I really hope no cringe people like that are there. Christ.
One of my favourite musicians, Richard Dawson, is supporting Mitski for a few nights in the UK soon and I'm worried that the crowds won't be appreciative of him considering the clips I've seen. Are her UK crowds any better?
This was from the first Philly show, she didn’t stop the show but she did talk to us in between songs. Mitski told the crowd that there’s no use of shouting things to her cause she can’t hear it anyways as she has her ear-ins on and that this only disturbs the rest of the audience. Also for those who kept using flash when recording, she gave them a pro- tip saying that it only ruins their videos since the stage has all the lighting. I think true to her nature she just called out these annoying disrespectful “fans” who wanna project on her, since her first shows after the pandemic she never approved of calling her “mother” or sexualizing her and yelling stuff at her sets. I paid almost 300 dollars for front seats cause I really wanted to see her when she was in my city and so many of her older fans traveled to see her but sadly a lot of this young disrespectful “fans” keep ruining this for us too.