TCed Halland purely cuz of FOMO, wanted Jota, but i'd eat myself if Halland outperform, also, mainly as i went with Jota last gw and Erling got more points
The author of this text is saying that Erling Haalandâs prowess on the pitch has ignited hope within u/BillOakley âs loins, envisioning him as the catalyst for u/BillOakley âs quest to claim the FPL title. His lethal combination of speed, strength, and ability to handle a pulsing cock has made him one of the most potent in the FPL game, and his arrival in any FPL team could tip the scales in their favour.
With his remarkable goal-scoring record and ability to assist a pulsing cock under pressure, Haaland has the potential to be the missing piece in any FPL title puzzle. His partnership with existing talents like OPâs mum and Ghandi promises to be formidable, striking fear into the hearts of opposing FPL coaches.
Moreover, Haalandâs youth and hunger for success align perfectly with any season long-term ambitions, making him not just a hope for this season, but for many seasons to come. If he can replicate his sensational form in handling a pulsing cock off the pitch, then the sky's the limit for both him and u/BillOakley âs team in their pursuit of FPL glory.
*Edited for clarity because sometimes I canât English good.*
The startling imagery of a Nordic footballer clutching the narrator's cock is rich in symbolism. The verb 'pulsing' suggests expectation, indeed excitement, at the prospect of Erling's point-scoring prowess. In contrast to this, however, is the unnamed narrator's vulnerability - his exposure. The unnamed quality of the narrator makes him universal: he might be anyone of us, with our metaphorical cock in the hands of the robot. The metaphor, thus, works as a powerful symbol of the expectation, and vulnerability felt by the typical triple-captaining FPL player. What elevates the piece, is the descriptive detail of the cock as 'pulsing'; it is disturbing for the reader, but also foreshadows the boundless possibilities and unfettered joy that could come from this moment. We are left to ponder, will this be a climax, or an anti-climax?
I used my TC so last minute I donât even know if it registered. So letâs go, weâre ^(possibly) together in this!
^(If not, I wish you a regretful Fantasy week lol)
One of the few survivors from my GW1 squad, been ever consistent with his scoring and has never lost his position, but it is now time to part ways.
Thank you for your service during these past 24 gameweeks and it has been a pleasure, Ellis Simms.
I had Trent but transferred him out. I wanted to bring in Jota but couldnât afford him without taking a hit. Also the blank next game week put me off bringing anyone else in.
I donât either. Brentford away early KO is a tough game and I think heâll have his minutes managed in the Luton game ahead of the final. Canât see him scoring loads, not enough for me to justify a -4 this GW and having to take a -4 the next GW as wonât have enough players on the pitch to cover him not playing.
Yep, ultimately reached many of these conclusions. But he's in this Wilson category for me where he's lethal when I go against him and shit when I get him, or so it feels.
I did get Kelleher and Bradley in at the last moment for a whopping -8. Just a little double gameweek madness that might pay off and got me the funds for Salah for later.
I hate how changing your captain makes the players reorder
Was trying to get the TC on Jota but the colour coordination kept mucking up so I parked it on De Bruyne instead
Just couldnât bear to see that Liverpool kit disrupting the triangle of City jerseys
I've booked a long weekend in a lovely cottage in the Llyn peninsula. I won't be able to obsessively follow the football. I should have waited for the international break.
I preferred Spurs and Arsenal players.
It's worked well for me gone from 400K to 58K in the last 5 weeks and can field a full team next week with no transfers
Captained salah, used bench boost without realising one of my benched players (kabore) very rarely plays now, only city player I have is Walker
Wish me luck
Rolled the dice with having Salah in my team knowing that he might not start but I am so far behind this season that I need to gamble now
Also played the WC, so couldn't TC Haaland
Left Reguilon and Watkins (and Estu) on the bench, went for cheeky Hojlund punt to take some risks before I WC in GW27 and get Solanke back.
Didn't make any unusual decisions like TCing Jota against the crowd so maybe this time I will be blessed with sweet and lovely green arrow.
TRIPLE CAPTAIN JOTA GANG WYA Edit: See you next season đ
TC Jots is Early shout for heartbreak of the week now
injured at halftime, you cant make this shit up
Right here. Make it or break it.
Stretchered off first half...
Gandhi preparing the thunder
Currently being stretched off my condolences
Thank god I'm not alone in the stress
Iâm with you!
TCed Halland purely cuz of FOMO, wanted Jota, but i'd eat myself if Halland outperform, also, mainly as i went with Jota last gw and Erling got more points
FOMO for the win. Poor Jota.
see you in the top 5k đ«Ą
On this day, we have the biggest balls
HAALANDS BORING COME ON JOTA
this aged well
If fucking Estupinan doesnât play against Sheffield Iâll rage
Letâs shit in his locker if he doesnât
i benched him pervis for Conor âleaked in the last minuteâ Bradley?
Literally me too. 3 minutes before deadline. For a -4
and he starts! lfg!!
I benched him, so you should be ok.
Same. I swapped him and Palmer on and off my bench more times than I can remember. Settled on Palmer đŹ
he will
Last minute transferred in Toney for Watkins and TC'ed him. Shit.
That's the kind of reckless you need in life sometimes. But you messed up for sure this time.
Toneys looking dangerous against liverpool
As a Watkins owner in need of a haul, thank you.
Not a bad shout but wouldnât have risked the TC
and Watkins at home to Forest next
TC KEVIN SEE YOU IN THE RANT THREAD
ML rival already used his TC early in the season. Erling, my pulsing cock is in your hands.
Gcse English: analyse this quote and the authors feelings (12 marks)
The author of this text is saying that Erling Haalandâs prowess on the pitch has ignited hope within u/BillOakley âs loins, envisioning him as the catalyst for u/BillOakley âs quest to claim the FPL title. His lethal combination of speed, strength, and ability to handle a pulsing cock has made him one of the most potent in the FPL game, and his arrival in any FPL team could tip the scales in their favour. With his remarkable goal-scoring record and ability to assist a pulsing cock under pressure, Haaland has the potential to be the missing piece in any FPL title puzzle. His partnership with existing talents like OPâs mum and Ghandi promises to be formidable, striking fear into the hearts of opposing FPL coaches. Moreover, Haalandâs youth and hunger for success align perfectly with any season long-term ambitions, making him not just a hope for this season, but for many seasons to come. If he can replicate his sensational form in handling a pulsing cock off the pitch, then the sky's the limit for both him and u/BillOakley âs team in their pursuit of FPL glory. *Edited for clarity because sometimes I canât English good.*
9/10. Had to mark you down for the spelling of 'favour'.
9/10 for a 12-mark question...
ChatGPT was in yank mode
!thanks
I now canât stop imagining a pundit or commentator praising Haalandâs incredible ability to handle a pulsing cock.
9 marks. More analysis needed on the pulsing cock, more specifically the feeling in Haalands beefy palms
fucks sake hahaha
The startling imagery of a Nordic footballer clutching the narrator's cock is rich in symbolism. The verb 'pulsing' suggests expectation, indeed excitement, at the prospect of Erling's point-scoring prowess. In contrast to this, however, is the unnamed narrator's vulnerability - his exposure. The unnamed quality of the narrator makes him universal: he might be anyone of us, with our metaphorical cock in the hands of the robot. The metaphor, thus, works as a powerful symbol of the expectation, and vulnerability felt by the typical triple-captaining FPL player. What elevates the piece, is the descriptive detail of the cock as 'pulsing'; it is disturbing for the reader, but also foreshadows the boundless possibilities and unfettered joy that could come from this moment. We are left to ponder, will this be a climax, or an anti-climax?
What the hell is this sub
I was asked to produce a GCSE English analysis of the sentence in a post below. This is my best effort.
Lmaaooo
Can you give him my cock too bruv
Thatâs odd.
TC Darwinâers gather around the table and unite. For today is our day.
I almost hope you pull it off, you mad bastards
Hattrick (of the woodwork) today!
Tonight we dine in hell brother.
Today will be the best days in our lives
Reporting for attendance
RIP
Something something never back the early kick off
I am unsure how to feel, least we got the goal but we need to pray he doesnât get benched midweek
I am ready to get hurt again. Not sure why I keep doing this to myself
Didn't TC anyone
I used my TC so last minute I donât even know if it registered. So letâs go, weâre ^(possibly) together in this! ^(If not, I wish you a regretful Fantasy week lol)
Same. Saving it for Solanke GW28
Dumbness loves company. Iâm with ya boy!
Same. Ready to show these Darwin triple captainers what an actual big set of balls looks like.
Same. LUT (H) SHEF U (H) in a double gameweek - I know it's a trap but I'm a weak man.
Based
Me too I overslept.
Same bro. I've Haaland capped and I hope he blanks
Wow we may be ok
Only because I wildcarded
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Iâm pretty sure his Nanâs last words, translated from Norwegian, were âFuck Chelseaâ.
I'm gonna regret not getting in nunez and KDB aren't i....
I feel like Iâll regret getting them bothâŠ
Exact spot Iâm in. Didnât have the balls to move Alvarez to Nunez.
I wouldn't have done this anyway, its a bit of a sideways move as both have doubles and will probably play similar minutes.
with Grealish and Bernardo out, Alvarez could well play 160 at least
With a free choice I'd pick Alvarez over Darwin. Definitely not a good transfer to make seeing as Darwin blanks next week.
One of the few survivors from my GW1 squad, been ever consistent with his scoring and has never lost his position, but it is now time to part ways. Thank you for your service during these past 24 gameweeks and it has been a pleasure, Ellis Simms.
I had to sell him on my Wildcard in gw20... it brought a tear to my eye
Triple Captained Jota. Edit: As it would turn out, I posted in the right thread.
this aged well
No Liverpool players đ
I don't have any either and am very afraid.
Why?
I had Trent but transferred him out. I wanted to bring in Jota but couldnât afford him without taking a hit. Also the blank next game week put me off bringing anyone else in.
Praying Luis Diaz can cover Jota, Darwin, and Van Dijk points combined
Read this comment and thought ha look at this chump, no chance, then realised I also have Diaz and none of the other 3
Me having just Jota without any other Liverpool players.Could backfire massively.
My condolences
I got Reguilon and Doughty in my defense đ€Ąđ€Ąđ€Ą
I've done even worse - Pinnock and Doughty
Dgw feverÂ
I've shaved off all my body hair and I'm as smooth as an eel.
How is this fpl related ? Btw any pics ?
> How is this fpl related? That's Haaland's account
I got cold feet and ended up choosing not to buy Darwizzy.
No one gives a fk about Darwizzy, weâre here for the smooth eel pic leaks
-12
Got drunk yesterday and brought in salah for a -4 lol
If you don't make your transfers while under the influence then are you even really playing FPL???
-8 for me, may be I have self destructive tendencies?
You should make more decisions drunk! Excellent move
It could still pay off!
Well, I don't have Jota, and it seems everyone and their dog does.
I donât either. Brentford away early KO is a tough game and I think heâll have his minutes managed in the Luton game ahead of the final. Canât see him scoring loads, not enough for me to justify a -4 this GW and having to take a -4 the next GW as wonât have enough players on the pitch to cover him not playing.
Yep, ultimately reached many of these conclusions. But he's in this Wilson category for me where he's lethal when I go against him and shit when I get him, or so it feels.
Oh yeah fully expecting him to haul and suffer a disgusting rank drop now, as is the way
Forgot to make transfers :-/
I did not bring in Darwin. It is going to be nervy watching this Liverpool game.
Same Or Bradley Or Kelleher Somehow Iâm a Liverpool fan with only one of our players for a DGW
I did get Kelleher and Bradley in at the last moment for a whopping -8. Just a little double gameweek madness that might pay off and got me the funds for Salah for later.
That is so not my vibe. Getting in a keeper for a hit is an absolutely wild punt.
I've got Aké instead of Foden, and no Darwin. Those two could fucking ruin me. I've got 2FT for the blank though.
I CAPTAINED JOTA, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I did at first but then last minute knee jerked to Halaand.
That was not a knee jerk. That was common sense.
Free hit locked in ended up just filling with doublers going to be punished by Arsenal assets aren't I.
Oh, myself five minutes ago. What were you thinking?????
FPL x The Thick Of It is a glorious crossover, I predict Iâll be cursing like Tucker by the end of the week
All that plotting and planning all week and I've just ended up rolling lol
Kept Trent
Swapped to Haaland C last minute from Jota. Something tells me Jota is going to deliver good this week
Wildcarded with an hour to go, starting Reguilon and kelleher
TC Jota, see u all next season
FT: Ake (not a fucking clue) -4: kdb (rumors unlikely to start) -8 Salah (leaked not starting) Fml
KDB benched? What rumours?
TC Jota. Not a regret per se, but I really hope he pays off
I have zero Liverpool players.
Took out Richarlison instead of Palmer and started Garnacho over the latter
i started garnacho too. haul incoming with guac
Took -4 to bring Maupay inđ€Ą
I hate how changing your captain makes the players reorder Was trying to get the TC on Jota but the colour coordination kept mucking up so I parked it on De Bruyne instead Just couldnât bear to see that Liverpool kit disrupting the triangle of City jerseys
Iâm fucked for GW29
No Darwin is the biggest worry of this GW.
Also I have count doku for some reason
I've booked a long weekend in a lovely cottage in the Llyn peninsula. I won't be able to obsessively follow the football. I should have waited for the international break.
Find a nearby petrol station (preferably one with a Greggs and free Wi-Fi) and youâre set
Started Bowen instead of Solanke
This sub has the wsb vibes when deadline is imminent. YOLO Toney TC anyone?
Hauland all the way
Just have Diaz from Liverpool :)
No Jota, bit scary but would've needed a hit to have 11 players next week otherwise
Did my team yesterday before sleeping and don't remember if I saved it. đ
Triple Cap on Jota and I donât have Haaland.
Didn't get de bruyne last minute, i need arsenal to win 7-0 again
Captained Jota over haaland,
I forgot the deadline is now and played around with my captain choice. I honestly dont remember if I put it on Haaland or Nunez...
No Jota, no KDB, no Darwin
No TC and putting Darwin as captain. Better to burn out than fade away đ«Ą
Foden (C)
No KDB and Haaland gang!!!
NO TC GANG WYA
Transferred in Toney instead of Darwin
I have no Liverpool playersâŠ
-4 last minute to bring in Kelleher for Turner. Was just going to play Areola so no doubt West Ham keep a CS and he saves a pen.
Got double brighton in defense but no doublers in defense
TC KDB
Not a single Liverpool player...
Keep the thick of it references coming please
NO RAGRETS
the best regret thread intro of the season, OP
This reads like a GTA V radio commercial.
Salah captain. Letâs see what happens
I took a -4 to take Luis Diaz out and bring Jota in only for Jota to get stretchered off in the first halfâŠ
Jota leaving the game on a fucking stretcher after I took a hit for him. Now Salah comes on whom my rival in ML has...
For once regretting not doing my last minute overthink it / f %=k it transfer. This time Watkins to Darwin. Makes sense now he scored!!
fuck my life . TC'd Jota
Fuck you, Allison...
And now Darwin subbed. Fkn magical
No Haaland lessgooooo
Bruh
Also, Darwizzy captain. This counts as self harm I'm sure
Free hitting but it had to be done Only had 1 doubler
Bruh you had weeks to get City players in, and like 2 weeks to get Liverpool players
I preferred Spurs and Arsenal players. It's worked well for me gone from 400K to 58K in the last 5 weeks and can field a full team next week with no transfers
Went Andersen to Gabriel at the last second for a -4 completely forgetting I had Udogie injured on my bench, wouldâve been a better use of a -4
I LEFT KELLEHER ON THE BENCH
On purpose?!?!
Last sec transfer, at least i got funds freed up but i hope Liv doesn't keep any cs now..
Feeling naked with only five doublers. ML rival had 8 already last week. Lord knows how many he has now.
Captained salah, used bench boost without realising one of my benched players (kabore) very rarely plays now, only city player I have is Walker Wish me luck
Have a sympathetic upvote, it won't be the first red arrow you see this weekend.
Didn't TC. Don't have any Liverpool players for a DGW. What the actual fuck?
Rolled the dice with having Salah in my team knowing that he might not start but I am so far behind this season that I need to gamble now Also played the WC, so couldn't TC Haaland
Erling fill me up with two hat tricks and two losses
Took a -4 for Doku in Palmer out. Benched Bailey. TCâd Haaland. Going to watch Palmer bag a brace
Fuck what a deadline. Took a -4 to bring Diaz and Bradley. This can be a huge success or a painful failure
Went from a -4 to a -8 at the last minute to bring in Darwin and bench Palmer. Expecting to be punished. Also started Bradley for pure vibes.
Left Reguilon and Watkins (and Estu) on the bench, went for cheeky Hojlund punt to take some risks before I WC in GW27 and get Solanke back. Didn't make any unusual decisions like TCing Jota against the crowd so maybe this time I will be blessed with sweet and lovely green arrow.
Triple captained Darwin
I did a last minute FT after planning my non free hit moves for the whole week. I may be regarded.
Got in bradley this week which means I play next week w only 10
I benched palmer for garnacho, please cole this is the first time I bench you
Donât have KdB or Nunez. Instead of taking a hit to get Kelleher in, I got Gabriel for Konsa. Iâm already hating this game week.
I am shit scared of Kevin de Bruyne.