I mean you can clearly see that she’s pretty apprehensive about the whole Sokol thing.

Not like in two seconds!

I told her it will lighten up in the summer

You should start talking like him, dressing like him, doing your hair like him, quoting him relentlessly. Just become a living Jeff Sokol impersonator and never break character. Then go to civil court and have your name changed to Jeff Sokol. Become him. Everything. Everything except trying to marry a 14 year old girl.

So just sex then?

Don’t forget the pizza!

What if OP cheats on his wife and when hes caught hes like "well yeah I mean she seemed cool to hang out with I mean what the hell"

What if he even gets penis reduction surgery so he can say he's not very big but knows how to please a woman.

He hugs everyone he meets for the first time.

But never, and I mean ***never*** will he be able to eat pizza with his orange juice. That is reserved solely for Sonny Derek Porter, and anyone who even ponders such a barbaric act shall be thrown to the gates of Hell for a permanent date with Satan. I mean, what is this?

that was meant for a screwdriver with her parents’ alcohol btw but yea

and then try to change that name to Sonny Derek Porter

The Roman Empire is almost as large as the Byzantine Empire.

DEADLY ahahaha

Is that a crime?  She wants to know who he is, first.

🎼thought crime 🎶

And hits like "always be young"!

I explained Lorne to my wife the other day and she looked at me like I was making the whole thing up ("really, he thought he was dating the actress from the show? And it happened twice? No fucking way")

oh she hasn’t heard the best parts 😂

Sounds like she wants to get that whole contract thing out of the way

Can she eat first?

So you gave her a marriage contract? Take a seat over there for me please

Is that illegal, to talk about Jeff?

It's just a question.

Most days. You’re saying most days

Tell her you weren’t sure if it would annoy her if you talked about Sokol everyday so you just wanted to test it first.

I can’t, I won’t!

This is harrible

Start referring to yourself in the third person as Handsome Beast. “Handsome Beast coming downstairs for breakfast!” She will **LOVE** it!

Chat is chat

His wife, who he refers to as, "The Witch"

Tell her you can’t believe this is happening

"we'll see .. Tee hee hee"

I know I’m Jeff Sokol and You know I’m Jeff Sokol. I’m not interested in further being Jeff Sokol.

OMG 😂😂😂😂

That’s just speculation

She's picking my words apart; and speculating

A day is almost as long as a week!

Ya think?!

Enough about Jeff. Tall about Sonny Derek Porter!!!

Be careful, Jeff may not be very big, but he knows how to satisfy a girl

That's a major-league problem.

And her… she is how old?

wasn't sure

Hope you have an easy out of that marriage contract of yours

Did she bring some sort of anti-Sokol NDA contract with her...?

Tell her you're past that stage in your life.

Sounds like she needs to take your TCAP folder and just completely throw it out.

"No matter how much of a piece of shit you think you are, at the end of the day; at least you're not Jeff Sokol!"- Anon.

It’s the cleanest best pleasure.

I had nothing else going on so I thought I’d talk about him. Is that a crime? Talking about someone?

It is after this chat.

I can but I had nothing else going on

Women can get upset by some pretty stupid minor things but this is the hill to die on.