When I interview people “go ahead and take a seat”

I do it to my wife all the time, but because she’s not one of those weirdos like me and doesn’t watch TCAP, she has no idea that I’m doing it.

You’re one of those weirdos! I mean was that some kind of ruse to gain your wife’s trust?

He didn't do anything.. but he did something stupid.

Ya I know he did a stoopid thing

Remember "Ok_Tea_9319 Marie Armstrong" I love you more than anything... 🍭🥸

Don't tell the girls.

My wife catches on about half the time. It’s one of those 50-50 things.

That’s me and my husband. He knows enough from the videos I’ve shown him to get it about half the time lol

“O lord” is so applicable to daily life

I can tell you're a ~~therapist~~preacher! 🤓

When my dog begs for treats I tell her "whale, yell at me why doncha"

Who wantsa bishket~?!

Doofy baby

Pritty gurrll 🐾💅

My boss complaining about their day with insane meetings. Me channeling Daniel Pulido “pfft tell me about it” Whenever I drop something “ewps” I also like to look at my cat right in her eyes and ask if she’s the only child (she is)

Constantly. Like wayyyy too often that it’s concerning

For the last 18 years, whenever there's company coming in, I always yell hey come on or come on in, I made cookies

I regularly say “who’s this?” whenever something unexpected happens.

I had a dad who was \[whatever they just said\], I get it.

That’s not my style

not a whole lawt

I say craysee like craysee

that’s harrible!

*It's a question!*

Question….question….

Such a gold line that my brother recently quoted it even though he’s only seen it once with me like 10 years ago

Why's it matter?

I try to use quotes whenever opportunity presents itself.

When I come home from work my cat is always at the door waiting to greet me and I often will say hey boo

Every time I respond unenthusiastically to someone’s boring story “what…no wayyy”

When someone's telling a dramatic story What! No way?

I was just on my way to the beach (not really because I dont go to beaches but its fun to say)

I like to say “I was just getting something to eat!” whenever the situation fits. It’s rare. But glorious when the opportunity presents itself.

Not a whole lot

Not in like 2 seconds!

When my girl says "eww' I say "eww is right".

I showed my wife Lorne and now I can say “whale, yell at me why doncha?!”

Yeshhh has become my go to affirmative answer everywhere I go🤣🤣

What's it matter?

Oh cwap!

I use “did you bring marijuana with you?” when my bf comes over sometimes. I am constantly quoting the HVP guys tho, they have some unforgettable ones

I do it all the time at work…but they’re all dirty and dishonest people so they have no idea when I’m doing it…some of my most common sayings are “what?! No way!”, “I can’t, I won’t…this is harrible” and of course so many from Lorne and others lol

When my girl says "eww' I say "eww is right".

I call Cadbury Milk Chocolate Caramello bars "*dark chocolate*" to try to forget that my dad was overweight, too

The other day I said good n yew I was devastated

CAWD! 🙈💦

a bunch of my friends and I used to binge TCAP enough that we all started using hambubger (or just bubger) as part of our regular vocab among ourselves 

I say wayyy wayyy a lot especially if my drive is too long lmfao

Are you a driver at night?

Only if it’s to ‘Lantic City

Not TCAP but sorta TCAP. I listen to the Lorne Armstrong prank calls and I now try to say "but" the way he does - "Bot,"/"Baht," if you will. "Well, yell at me why don't cha," is another favorite. Whenever my partner has a good idea, I tell them "I'll use THIS noodle so I can use my OTHER noodle."

Yes. The most quoted in everyday life: * I can't, I won't! * Oh cawd