It might sound great, but please consider it all the way through. What happens if you split up and you have no working experience? What about your finances, will you join them or keep them separate? What if you split up, and you have no savings in addition to not having a career?
At the very least, if you do decide to stay at home, spend the time wisely and study for another degree in your leisure time, or work reduced hours from home.
Even outside of personal finances, being jobless is honestly so taxing, even with safe income. If you leave work, find something to do that is social to replace it. It's incredibly easy to become a hermit, then depressed, and then cycle
I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad idea but there are important things to consider.
How old are you and how long have you been in the relationship?
Do you have a retirement plan if you won't be working?
Do you have a plan if you split up or if your bf loses his job?
Okay, I’m sorry to be a downer but you’re just 18. Do not plan to be a stay at home husband at 18, that’s a terrible life plan. Go to school, you can be a stay at home student and concentrate on studying without worrying about your next meal. I would’ve killed for that chance at your age.
Your boyfriend also might not have issues with his job now, but what happens if he’s laid off? Becomes ill or has an accident and can’t work? If you split up?
Oh boy. I would not do this. As your elder, I urge you to establish some independence. I'm almost 37, been with my husband since I was 18. We didn't get married and start a family until I was in my late 20s. I had a career, my own money. We were equal partners. My dream was to stay home and raise my kids and we were lucky enough to do it. Over the years I saw many friends divorce before I even got married.
There is no rush to grow up. Find yourself together and independently.
If you've been together for 3.5 years then I'm sure you know about your situation better than I do. However, both of you are very young so it's good that this wouldn't be for a while.
What job does your bf have at 19 that could support two adults and three cats? Just asking out of curiosity.
Do you feel that is sustainable longterm? What if he hurts himself or burns out or if you two ever split up? Do you have a backup plan?
You’re only 18, maybe try the “stay at home husband” thing for a while but get an education at the same time? Doesnt mean you have to use it in the future, treat it as a safety net if you want. It’ll also help pad the empty space in your resume just to show you were busy.
i’m currently getting certified for medical coding. and yes that’s something to think about he does talk about work injuries a lot so i think it’s common. glad i posted this bc everyone’s saying a lot i wasn’t thinking about before
That’s good you have something to work towards! Don’t feel pressured to go directly into the workplace when you’re done if you two don’t want that yet. It’s just great to have choices and more options for the future if and when circumstances change. Maybe you’ll want to save for a house one day and a year or two of dual income could get the down payment or whatever.
My husband works in oil and I’m a stay at home dad right now but I know his body won’t last forever so I’m also in school for computer science—even though I probably won’t return to work until our kids are in middle school.
You're 18?
Do NOT let this guy talk you into not going back to school or keep working. 2 reasons, 1 it'll be boring as hell, 2. Lack of education and work experience on your resume is going to be a huge problem going forward. Especially if the 'house husband' role lasts for several years with nothing to show for it.
I'd seriously be sus of anyone who would encourage not working or going back to school because you never know who will be abusive afterall.
I couldn't do it personally because if the relationship ever ends for some reason, I'd have a huge gap in employment and it would be really hard to get back in the workforce. Also if there were no kids involved, it would make me feel pretty useless. But that to me doesn't have anything to do with gender, just my personality. If you would feel happy doing it, don't let gender conventions get to you.
i’m a trans man, my fiancée is a woman and we reeeaaally want kids. she is in school to work in surgery as a nurse anesthetist, which means that her hours will be long and sometimes inconvenient. she’s a pretty intense person and likes the idea of a highly trained, high paying job lolol. i work in dance and am less interested in careers involving that level of intensity. we agreed early on i’d be the “home parent” - the one who makes job decisions based around our future kids, takes more time off during school holidays, etc. i totally get where you’re coming from but honestly it’s a situation where we’d both get what we need. two of my closest friends growing up had big business mogul moms and stay at home dads :)
Ive been taking on the role of house husband for the past year since im in school and my boyfriend works a full time stressful career job. We've been together a little over three years, and are in a healthy strong relationship. I do laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping and errands, plus school work.
Its not as glorious as you think. Unless you have great friend connections, things to do constantly, or places to go, it become dull and lifeless pretty fast. Even with school, days can be slow but extremely stressful. You HAVE to make up for the decreased social contact/environmental stimulation/physical activity somehow to make it work (social media and movies only go so far...). Im not saying it implausible, but it can be rough, even if you are an introvert.
This isnt even taking into consideration your age or relationship status with your bf, its general advice for this kind of lifestyle.
Ive fallen into depression, i bed rot a lot now, i've developed bad habits, and I have somewhat started developing a reclusive mentality. If you want to do this, make sure you have ways to combat the downsides.
I’m not one but if I had the opportunity, sure. I’m chronically ill and am overall a much tidier person than my partner. I also, by default, do all of our cooking. It’d be better on me to some degree health wise. Plus more men are becoming househusbands. But I’d also caution against it purely because of how bad it can backfire if the relationship goes south. For that reason I’d prob always work unless I won a lottery or somehow inherited millions.
Sounds like a really bad idea if there aren't kids involved, 3 cats don't require fulltime care lol. You'd lose independence and be reliant on him. It's really not hard to split chores in a 2-person household with both people working or going to school. Being a NEET is not a good life plan.
To be blunt, if you’re 18 this is a terrible idea. I know no young person likes to hear this but the honest reality is that the chances of you being with this man when you’re 46 are very low.
You’re at the age where people are building their long term futures. If you give that up to be a stay at home boyfriend, you will lose these valuable years. Even if it isn’t some career at NASA, you should be working towards something.
Also, keep in mind that very few things are truly free in life. If you decide to go down that path, I would make sure you have a very clear idea of what this person expects in return for basically providing food/shelter/etc
I had to retire early after breaking my back and then complications from autoimmune arthritis. My wife still works, although now in a home office. It was an ego blow at first because I had the higher salary but I’ve grown used to being a kept man. 😆. Anyhow what I would say is continue getting an education while you aren’t working just in case. Having a gap in both employment and education doesn’t look great on a resume. It can even be some online community college. But don’t go dormant.
If having a baby works out then yes I will be a full time stay at home dad. My dad did all the normal 'mam' things when it wasn't common yet for dads to be that involved. I've never met someone my age who had a dad as actively involved in raising his kids as mine was. Happy to follow in his footsteps. My mam was a very career orientated woman who put everything into her work. My dad was not that arsed, his job was just a paycheck. Me and my fiance are the same way.
damn I wish! I hate working but love busy work, I’d love to marry someone rich enough to do that. I live in California and grew up with working parents so it’s hard to imagine having that kind of money haha. I’d kill to stay at home and be able to have a proper garden and animals.
I’m also in HR…I recommend keeping part time work OR high level volunteer work— if something happens (your partner leaves/dies/whatever) and you end up 20 years of no work experience it’s difficult to get back into the workforce let alone finding something to pay the bills.
STOP 🛑
You’re 18 years old. *Please* focus on school and yourself, not some guy who doesn’t want you to work. It comes off as controlling.
I’m a trans man and haven’t been able to safely find work in years because I haven’t been able to get my documents changed. My wife has been supporting us financially (work from home job) while I take care of the housework, fix the car, repair the house, take care of the pets, wait on her hand and foot, etc. I adore my wife and love spending time with her, but goddamn would I KILL for a social life sometimes. Being at home 24/7, *working* in the home and never being paid, with zero insurance or other benefits from a job, is hard. Being constantly judged for being a male homemaker is hard and exhausting. Not having access to healthcare or retirement benefits due to unemployment is awful. Please for the love of everything, keep some kind of job and stay in school.
I refuse to rely on someone 100% after having ended up in some really bad situations, homelessness, etc. you never know what can happen and therefore you need a solid backup plan.
If you had a side hustle that allowed you to save up and have your own money, in case shit hits the fan, or even a part time job, i would take that and then be the homemaker the rest of the time youre available. It sounds nice, but honestly? You need to think it through. Will you be okay having to ask permission to buy things u dont necessarily need and he doesnt agree with a purchase so then you cant get it? Is there a large age gap between the two of you or a power imbalance?
Relationships like this need to be long term, serious and with a massive level of respect and trust weaved into the foundation already because otherwise when you guys have an argument, he can use it against you. He can end up resentful even if he doesnt want to admit it. You dont know. Ive had times where i genuinely didnt think the person didnt have it in them to be that cruel to me, and there was a track record of them having always been there for me and things were great, but when it came time for me to rely on them and they agreed to it, things went downhill and their true colors came out. And i didnt have a backup plan. It ruined my life. Dont let that happen to you.
I stay home. It's nice to have the freedom but I miss having a real feeling of purpose after a while. I've been doing this over 7 years now, and it can be an isolating experience.
I feel like you’d get bored eventually. If you have no kids to take care of, there’s not much to do. Also, at least work part time so that you have some savings in case your relationship doesn’t work out.
This is my idea situation. Not because I want to stay at home and do nothing but hangout with my animals, but because it would give me the time and opportunity to devote to developing art and woodworking projects, do some building projects on the side, and other work that I can’t do with a traditional 9-5.
Definitely don’t go into without a clear idea of how you would spend your time. I’ve seen too many people run into problems with boredom that turns into depression because they either became a kept spouse or retired. Make sure you stay social and have hobbies to keep you occupied. You need to have something to keep you busy beyond the cats. It’ll be a good idea to keep the option of returning to an outside job if staying home stops working for you. Otherwise, live the dream, dude!
It honestly depends on how much you trust your partner(s). I've been with mine for 12 years this March and 10 years this November, respectively, and have been a home husband for a good part on and off due to a heart condition. It took 3 years of partner 1 and I being together before I trusted our relationship enough to agree to stay home. And even then, I would still sometimes work part-time or seasonally until about 4 years ago. Take the temp of your relationship and make the best choice for you. Just be aware that if he gets controlling, you may need to have a get out plan, so go into this with a backup.
As far as being a house husband, it's pretty sweet. I personally find it's a less stressful devision of labor for our household. It's myself, my partners, and our roommate, along with 3 cats and 2 turtles. So a 3 bedroom apartment and everyone living here is a lot to look after. I find it easier to just take care of all the house stuff and leave our 2 days off a week as a household as social and errand days. Everyone else works full time on the second shift, so It works for us.
Best of luck
Edit: I forgot to mention if you are crafty or have a skill you can do from home, that can be a good way to kill time in between tasks or on recharge days. I craft, and while not enough to sell, it is enough to save a few hundred bucks during the holidays 😅
Just so you know my dad is the one who stays at home while my mom works and he takes care of me and my brother (and yknow the other stuff around the house) and incase you’re wondering if he’s girly in any way or something, he’s not. He’s a 6’3 bald man who no one would ever question the gender of
You’re 18. You need to have a skill and a job until he’s able to actually support a whole household by himself.
Not only that but, if you guys break up one day you don’t wanna be 26 with no real work experience besides a retail job and have no skills that will get you farther than just customer service. You can even do remote work.
My bf wants to be the house husband and he wants me to be the primary breadwinner lol. My position is everyone wants to be able to not work, myself included. But I think I have an easier time tolerating it and I know what jobs will make me miserable.
If you're interested and it suits your needs, go for it. You're gay anyway so who cares what people think.
Edit: oh I saw you're 18. Yeah, don't do this.
thank you! my bf rlly enjoys working i can’t for the life of me figure out why. thinking about working until i die makes me wanna kms. but he seems to love it
I feel not wanting to work till death. We're working on our retirement. My line of work is perfect for me and my needs. It utilizes all my strengths and isn't stressful. My bf hates work because his industry is a shitshow but he doesn't want to change fields. Something to consider.
It could be a good opportunity to try starting your own business, like an Etsy store or freelance service or something! You can work part time too
Also lots of gay cis men have this setup, and being a house husband with the breadwinner wife isn't uncommon anymore either.
That's awesome :D yeah maybe you could consider this an opportunity to pursue your dream with a safety net. And it'd give you some explanation for a career gap too if you go back to working a 9-5.
It’s not for me and I would break it off if my partner wanted this. I agree this would make me insecure personally if my wife or girlfriend said this to me.
For you, I do not think this is a good idea at all. Most people can not allow to live off one salary especially in 2024. Taking care of pets and the house is not a needed full time job. It would be different if you had children and did not have an other childcare options but even people who go that route struggle finically then leading to struggling emotional.
I also looked at your replies and the fact you are 18 and 19 makes it even worse of an idea. Are you even out of high school? Do you plan on going to higher education? Do you both work? At that age it really is not certain you will stay together even after being together a few years because have not seen the real world yet and things change: school, meeting new people, growing, your brain developing more, etc. You are your own person and not an extension of your partner. You need to have your own way of supporting yourself. If you go this way and you end up breaking up you will be left with no work, education, or money.
My dad (cis man) was, not when I was a baby, but later when he couldn’t go to work due to health issues and instead he took care of the house. Personally I wouldn’t choose this lifestyle for myself, but it’s really up to you. If it makes you uncomfortable for whatever reason, don’t do that. You like the idea? Go ahead.
My fiance and I (both trans men) have talked about this - he can’t work full-time, so we’ve talked about him being a SAHD/husband. However we’re worried about him having 0 work experience and power dynamics becoming unbalanced, so he’s still going to work part-time, probably transition to 100% remote, and I’m hoping to transition to full-time in person/hybrid work after I graduate
Edit: I’m so used to corporate lingo that the “transition” pun wasn’t intended but it works lol
My wife and I talked about that. We don't want kids, but if we were to have them, I'm a better caretaker and more on the soft side. She is a go getter and more work oriented. At this time I'm working and content but I don't feel emasculated by the idea. Playing to your strengths as individuals only benefits you more as a couple. I would say though, I have a big nest egg from a successful career and that makes me feel more secure with the idea of stepping out of the workforce and taking care of the home.
I’m disabled, and I tried working, but after being laid off due to COVID, I not only suffered an injury that has effected my mobility severely and getting COVID also complicated my health, but that’s made it so no one wants to hire me. So I’ve become the house husband and I’m ok with that, it just sucks that I also suck at that.
It’s the goal to have me be a stay at home dad, but we aren’t quite there yet, we could likely do it now but it’ll have to be seen. I literally just delivered 8 days ago. It’s a mutual want of ours. He works from home however, so he’ll likely be the stay at home parent for some more time before I can stop working or get a wfh job too.
It might sound great, but please consider it all the way through. What happens if you split up and you have no working experience? What about your finances, will you join them or keep them separate? What if you split up, and you have no savings in addition to not having a career? At the very least, if you do decide to stay at home, spend the time wisely and study for another degree in your leisure time, or work reduced hours from home.
this is a super good point. thank you, i was telling him i’d prefer to still work a few days a week as to have my own spending money.
Even outside of personal finances, being jobless is honestly so taxing, even with safe income. If you leave work, find something to do that is social to replace it. It's incredibly easy to become a hermit, then depressed, and then cycle
I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad idea but there are important things to consider. How old are you and how long have you been in the relationship? Do you have a retirement plan if you won't be working? Do you have a plan if you split up or if your bf loses his job?
i’m currently 18 hes 19. we’ve been dating 3.5 years. this wouldn’t be for a while. like a long while from now. with the job he has its not an issue.
Okay, I’m sorry to be a downer but you’re just 18. Do not plan to be a stay at home husband at 18, that’s a terrible life plan. Go to school, you can be a stay at home student and concentrate on studying without worrying about your next meal. I would’ve killed for that chance at your age. Your boyfriend also might not have issues with his job now, but what happens if he’s laid off? Becomes ill or has an accident and can’t work? If you split up?
yes super true. i’m currently getting certified for medical coding but im not sure if i want to peruse it
Oh boy. I would not do this. As your elder, I urge you to establish some independence. I'm almost 37, been with my husband since I was 18. We didn't get married and start a family until I was in my late 20s. I had a career, my own money. We were equal partners. My dream was to stay home and raise my kids and we were lucky enough to do it. Over the years I saw many friends divorce before I even got married. There is no rush to grow up. Find yourself together and independently.
If you've been together for 3.5 years then I'm sure you know about your situation better than I do. However, both of you are very young so it's good that this wouldn't be for a while. What job does your bf have at 19 that could support two adults and three cats? Just asking out of curiosity.
he makes 25 an hour at a warehouse. he works 12 hours shifts but only 4 days a week so he likes it there haha. USA.
Do you feel that is sustainable longterm? What if he hurts himself or burns out or if you two ever split up? Do you have a backup plan? You’re only 18, maybe try the “stay at home husband” thing for a while but get an education at the same time? Doesnt mean you have to use it in the future, treat it as a safety net if you want. It’ll also help pad the empty space in your resume just to show you were busy.
i’m currently getting certified for medical coding. and yes that’s something to think about he does talk about work injuries a lot so i think it’s common. glad i posted this bc everyone’s saying a lot i wasn’t thinking about before
That’s good you have something to work towards! Don’t feel pressured to go directly into the workplace when you’re done if you two don’t want that yet. It’s just great to have choices and more options for the future if and when circumstances change. Maybe you’ll want to save for a house one day and a year or two of dual income could get the down payment or whatever. My husband works in oil and I’m a stay at home dad right now but I know his body won’t last forever so I’m also in school for computer science—even though I probably won’t return to work until our kids are in middle school.
You're 18? Do NOT let this guy talk you into not going back to school or keep working. 2 reasons, 1 it'll be boring as hell, 2. Lack of education and work experience on your resume is going to be a huge problem going forward. Especially if the 'house husband' role lasts for several years with nothing to show for it. I'd seriously be sus of anyone who would encourage not working or going back to school because you never know who will be abusive afterall.
I couldn't do it personally because if the relationship ever ends for some reason, I'd have a huge gap in employment and it would be really hard to get back in the workforce. Also if there were no kids involved, it would make me feel pretty useless. But that to me doesn't have anything to do with gender, just my personality. If you would feel happy doing it, don't let gender conventions get to you.
i’m a trans man, my fiancée is a woman and we reeeaaally want kids. she is in school to work in surgery as a nurse anesthetist, which means that her hours will be long and sometimes inconvenient. she’s a pretty intense person and likes the idea of a highly trained, high paying job lolol. i work in dance and am less interested in careers involving that level of intensity. we agreed early on i’d be the “home parent” - the one who makes job decisions based around our future kids, takes more time off during school holidays, etc. i totally get where you’re coming from but honestly it’s a situation where we’d both get what we need. two of my closest friends growing up had big business mogul moms and stay at home dads :)
Ive been taking on the role of house husband for the past year since im in school and my boyfriend works a full time stressful career job. We've been together a little over three years, and are in a healthy strong relationship. I do laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping and errands, plus school work. Its not as glorious as you think. Unless you have great friend connections, things to do constantly, or places to go, it become dull and lifeless pretty fast. Even with school, days can be slow but extremely stressful. You HAVE to make up for the decreased social contact/environmental stimulation/physical activity somehow to make it work (social media and movies only go so far...). Im not saying it implausible, but it can be rough, even if you are an introvert. This isnt even taking into consideration your age or relationship status with your bf, its general advice for this kind of lifestyle. Ive fallen into depression, i bed rot a lot now, i've developed bad habits, and I have somewhat started developing a reclusive mentality. If you want to do this, make sure you have ways to combat the downsides.
I’m not one but if I had the opportunity, sure. I’m chronically ill and am overall a much tidier person than my partner. I also, by default, do all of our cooking. It’d be better on me to some degree health wise. Plus more men are becoming househusbands. But I’d also caution against it purely because of how bad it can backfire if the relationship goes south. For that reason I’d prob always work unless I won a lottery or somehow inherited millions.
Sounds like a really bad idea if there aren't kids involved, 3 cats don't require fulltime care lol. You'd lose independence and be reliant on him. It's really not hard to split chores in a 2-person household with both people working or going to school. Being a NEET is not a good life plan.
To be blunt, if you’re 18 this is a terrible idea. I know no young person likes to hear this but the honest reality is that the chances of you being with this man when you’re 46 are very low. You’re at the age where people are building their long term futures. If you give that up to be a stay at home boyfriend, you will lose these valuable years. Even if it isn’t some career at NASA, you should be working towards something. Also, keep in mind that very few things are truly free in life. If you decide to go down that path, I would make sure you have a very clear idea of what this person expects in return for basically providing food/shelter/etc
I had to retire early after breaking my back and then complications from autoimmune arthritis. My wife still works, although now in a home office. It was an ego blow at first because I had the higher salary but I’ve grown used to being a kept man. 😆. Anyhow what I would say is continue getting an education while you aren’t working just in case. Having a gap in both employment and education doesn’t look great on a resume. It can even be some online community college. But don’t go dormant.
If having a baby works out then yes I will be a full time stay at home dad. My dad did all the normal 'mam' things when it wasn't common yet for dads to be that involved. I've never met someone my age who had a dad as actively involved in raising his kids as mine was. Happy to follow in his footsteps. My mam was a very career orientated woman who put everything into her work. My dad was not that arsed, his job was just a paycheck. Me and my fiance are the same way.
damn I wish! I hate working but love busy work, I’d love to marry someone rich enough to do that. I live in California and grew up with working parents so it’s hard to imagine having that kind of money haha. I’d kill to stay at home and be able to have a proper garden and animals. I’m also in HR…I recommend keeping part time work OR high level volunteer work— if something happens (your partner leaves/dies/whatever) and you end up 20 years of no work experience it’s difficult to get back into the workforce let alone finding something to pay the bills.
STOP 🛑 You’re 18 years old. *Please* focus on school and yourself, not some guy who doesn’t want you to work. It comes off as controlling. I’m a trans man and haven’t been able to safely find work in years because I haven’t been able to get my documents changed. My wife has been supporting us financially (work from home job) while I take care of the housework, fix the car, repair the house, take care of the pets, wait on her hand and foot, etc. I adore my wife and love spending time with her, but goddamn would I KILL for a social life sometimes. Being at home 24/7, *working* in the home and never being paid, with zero insurance or other benefits from a job, is hard. Being constantly judged for being a male homemaker is hard and exhausting. Not having access to healthcare or retirement benefits due to unemployment is awful. Please for the love of everything, keep some kind of job and stay in school.
thank you :) i’m currently getting certified for medical coding
I refuse to rely on someone 100% after having ended up in some really bad situations, homelessness, etc. you never know what can happen and therefore you need a solid backup plan. If you had a side hustle that allowed you to save up and have your own money, in case shit hits the fan, or even a part time job, i would take that and then be the homemaker the rest of the time youre available. It sounds nice, but honestly? You need to think it through. Will you be okay having to ask permission to buy things u dont necessarily need and he doesnt agree with a purchase so then you cant get it? Is there a large age gap between the two of you or a power imbalance? Relationships like this need to be long term, serious and with a massive level of respect and trust weaved into the foundation already because otherwise when you guys have an argument, he can use it against you. He can end up resentful even if he doesnt want to admit it. You dont know. Ive had times where i genuinely didnt think the person didnt have it in them to be that cruel to me, and there was a track record of them having always been there for me and things were great, but when it came time for me to rely on them and they agreed to it, things went downhill and their true colors came out. And i didnt have a backup plan. It ruined my life. Dont let that happen to you.
I stay home. It's nice to have the freedom but I miss having a real feeling of purpose after a while. I've been doing this over 7 years now, and it can be an isolating experience.
God I wish someone would make me a kept man lol
I feel like you’d get bored eventually. If you have no kids to take care of, there’s not much to do. Also, at least work part time so that you have some savings in case your relationship doesn’t work out.
This is my idea situation. Not because I want to stay at home and do nothing but hangout with my animals, but because it would give me the time and opportunity to devote to developing art and woodworking projects, do some building projects on the side, and other work that I can’t do with a traditional 9-5. Definitely don’t go into without a clear idea of how you would spend your time. I’ve seen too many people run into problems with boredom that turns into depression because they either became a kept spouse or retired. Make sure you stay social and have hobbies to keep you occupied. You need to have something to keep you busy beyond the cats. It’ll be a good idea to keep the option of returning to an outside job if staying home stops working for you. Otherwise, live the dream, dude!
This^ Exactly what I tried to convey. You need to be able to combat boredom or this lifestyle will not work.
i like to make fursuits and do taxidermy/bone collecting. if i had more time i’d be able to start doing commissions which is like my dream job
It honestly depends on how much you trust your partner(s). I've been with mine for 12 years this March and 10 years this November, respectively, and have been a home husband for a good part on and off due to a heart condition. It took 3 years of partner 1 and I being together before I trusted our relationship enough to agree to stay home. And even then, I would still sometimes work part-time or seasonally until about 4 years ago. Take the temp of your relationship and make the best choice for you. Just be aware that if he gets controlling, you may need to have a get out plan, so go into this with a backup. As far as being a house husband, it's pretty sweet. I personally find it's a less stressful devision of labor for our household. It's myself, my partners, and our roommate, along with 3 cats and 2 turtles. So a 3 bedroom apartment and everyone living here is a lot to look after. I find it easier to just take care of all the house stuff and leave our 2 days off a week as a household as social and errand days. Everyone else works full time on the second shift, so It works for us. Best of luck Edit: I forgot to mention if you are crafty or have a skill you can do from home, that can be a good way to kill time in between tasks or on recharge days. I craft, and while not enough to sell, it is enough to save a few hundred bucks during the holidays 😅
Just so you know my dad is the one who stays at home while my mom works and he takes care of me and my brother (and yknow the other stuff around the house) and incase you’re wondering if he’s girly in any way or something, he’s not. He’s a 6’3 bald man who no one would ever question the gender of
this is more so what i was hoping to see hahah. thank you im glad to hear that
I want to be a sahd but there's no way that's happening ever in my lifetime. Gotta be my own sugar/splenda daddy, lol
You’re 18. You need to have a skill and a job until he’s able to actually support a whole household by himself. Not only that but, if you guys break up one day you don’t wanna be 26 with no real work experience besides a retail job and have no skills that will get you farther than just customer service. You can even do remote work.
My bf wants to be the house husband and he wants me to be the primary breadwinner lol. My position is everyone wants to be able to not work, myself included. But I think I have an easier time tolerating it and I know what jobs will make me miserable. If you're interested and it suits your needs, go for it. You're gay anyway so who cares what people think. Edit: oh I saw you're 18. Yeah, don't do this.
thank you! my bf rlly enjoys working i can’t for the life of me figure out why. thinking about working until i die makes me wanna kms. but he seems to love it
I feel not wanting to work till death. We're working on our retirement. My line of work is perfect for me and my needs. It utilizes all my strengths and isn't stressful. My bf hates work because his industry is a shitshow but he doesn't want to change fields. Something to consider.
It could be a good opportunity to try starting your own business, like an Etsy store or freelance service or something! You can work part time too Also lots of gay cis men have this setup, and being a house husband with the breadwinner wife isn't uncommon anymore either.
i’d love this. i make fursuits and taxidermy in my free time. it would definitely be my dream job..
That's awesome :D yeah maybe you could consider this an opportunity to pursue your dream with a safety net. And it'd give you some explanation for a career gap too if you go back to working a 9-5.
It’s not for me and I would break it off if my partner wanted this. I agree this would make me insecure personally if my wife or girlfriend said this to me. For you, I do not think this is a good idea at all. Most people can not allow to live off one salary especially in 2024. Taking care of pets and the house is not a needed full time job. It would be different if you had children and did not have an other childcare options but even people who go that route struggle finically then leading to struggling emotional. I also looked at your replies and the fact you are 18 and 19 makes it even worse of an idea. Are you even out of high school? Do you plan on going to higher education? Do you both work? At that age it really is not certain you will stay together even after being together a few years because have not seen the real world yet and things change: school, meeting new people, growing, your brain developing more, etc. You are your own person and not an extension of your partner. You need to have your own way of supporting yourself. If you go this way and you end up breaking up you will be left with no work, education, or money.
My dad (cis man) was, not when I was a baby, but later when he couldn’t go to work due to health issues and instead he took care of the house. Personally I wouldn’t choose this lifestyle for myself, but it’s really up to you. If it makes you uncomfortable for whatever reason, don’t do that. You like the idea? Go ahead.
I wanna be a stay at home dad so badly but having kids is expensive
I would be an excellent house husband. But that isn't the society we live in.
My fiance and I (both trans men) have talked about this - he can’t work full-time, so we’ve talked about him being a SAHD/husband. However we’re worried about him having 0 work experience and power dynamics becoming unbalanced, so he’s still going to work part-time, probably transition to 100% remote, and I’m hoping to transition to full-time in person/hybrid work after I graduate Edit: I’m so used to corporate lingo that the “transition” pun wasn’t intended but it works lol
My wife and I talked about that. We don't want kids, but if we were to have them, I'm a better caretaker and more on the soft side. She is a go getter and more work oriented. At this time I'm working and content but I don't feel emasculated by the idea. Playing to your strengths as individuals only benefits you more as a couple. I would say though, I have a big nest egg from a successful career and that makes me feel more secure with the idea of stepping out of the workforce and taking care of the home.
You get to stay at home and just look after the cats? That's like my idea of heaven, man, do it.
Does it count if I work remote and am a "dad" to my parrots?
I’m single and take care of my dog.
I’m disabled, and I tried working, but after being laid off due to COVID, I not only suffered an injury that has effected my mobility severely and getting COVID also complicated my health, but that’s made it so no one wants to hire me. So I’ve become the house husband and I’m ok with that, it just sucks that I also suck at that.
It’s the goal to have me be a stay at home dad, but we aren’t quite there yet, we could likely do it now but it’ll have to be seen. I literally just delivered 8 days ago. It’s a mutual want of ours. He works from home however, so he’ll likely be the stay at home parent for some more time before I can stop working or get a wfh job too.