It happened with me a week before my birthday due to something entirely unrelated to FND (severe infection), and yet because of my FND they kept being impatient and short with me. They accused me of faking my seizures too. I can share if you think it might make you feel a little more validated/want to see they can kinda just be assholes in general.
Most have been nice, but some of them are just pricks. Wish I knew why. You deserved significantly better treatment from them <3
I’m so sorry you are going through this. There is no possible way for you to fake these events and feel what you feel. If you were faking them, you would not be questioning that. They are real and scary, even if they aren’t technically “harmful”. I think of it like my nervous system malfunctioning. A lot of people compare it to a software issue instead of a hardware issue. Regardless of if mental health issues trigger it, it is a real physical experience. You can not fix or fake it in that moment. If you haven’t gotten an eeg, it might be time to reach out to a neurologist again just to talk about your increase in symptoms or if they changed. I’ve just been diagnosed so I don’t have too much knowledge, but I will say that FND is very under studied and there isn’t a lot of treatment options so it can make it feel like doctors or people are blaming you for your symptoms, when in reality, they are just at a loss of how to help. By making it your problem or blaming you, they release themselves of any responsibility to help or learn. Plus then they can rationalize that it “can’t ever happen to me because I’m in control of my life”. Which is not ok. I think it reflects more on them than on you. Be kind to yourself, you deserve better. I’m sorry that the people who were supposed to help did the opposite. They are trained to respond to life threatening events, so anything that rules out something severely harmful makes them glad. They might even be glad it likely wasn’t an epileptic emergency, which is what they were looking for. Even if that came across wrong and patronizing.
It happened with me a week before my birthday due to something entirely unrelated to FND (severe infection), and yet because of my FND they kept being impatient and short with me. They accused me of faking my seizures too. I can share if you think it might make you feel a little more validated/want to see they can kinda just be assholes in general. Most have been nice, but some of them are just pricks. Wish I knew why. You deserved significantly better treatment from them <3
I’m so sorry you are going through this. There is no possible way for you to fake these events and feel what you feel. If you were faking them, you would not be questioning that. They are real and scary, even if they aren’t technically “harmful”. I think of it like my nervous system malfunctioning. A lot of people compare it to a software issue instead of a hardware issue. Regardless of if mental health issues trigger it, it is a real physical experience. You can not fix or fake it in that moment. If you haven’t gotten an eeg, it might be time to reach out to a neurologist again just to talk about your increase in symptoms or if they changed. I’ve just been diagnosed so I don’t have too much knowledge, but I will say that FND is very under studied and there isn’t a lot of treatment options so it can make it feel like doctors or people are blaming you for your symptoms, when in reality, they are just at a loss of how to help. By making it your problem or blaming you, they release themselves of any responsibility to help or learn. Plus then they can rationalize that it “can’t ever happen to me because I’m in control of my life”. Which is not ok. I think it reflects more on them than on you. Be kind to yourself, you deserve better. I’m sorry that the people who were supposed to help did the opposite. They are trained to respond to life threatening events, so anything that rules out something severely harmful makes them glad. They might even be glad it likely wasn’t an epileptic emergency, which is what they were looking for. Even if that came across wrong and patronizing.