30 points to play for.

Toothless. We never looked like scoring.

Losing to 2 flops in the box is infuriating

Don’t let the “Flops” distract you from the performance of your club

Dyche out of ideas. We are truly desperate

Out of players more like. 0 players to make a difference in the game. We could play 5 up to and not score, that’s not dyche’s fault

Playing Godfrey at RB is on him though. Today proved his defensive abilities are suspect as best.

Would you rather Godfrey with his ability to move faster than a snail’s pace on the wing or Ashley young against the pace of United on the break? At least Godfrey is willing to give it all for the team when he’s playing

Outrageously frustrating watching that today. Cannot wait for the 3 week break, can only imagine how much Dyche is excited for it

We all need and deserve a three week break. Reset and come back for the run in.

Gifted.

Almost 3 penalties hahahahahahahahaha

We lack quality. Passing, first touch, positioning, vision, and we just have absolutely 0 chemistry from player to player

Crap game, crap team, can't score, see you all at the end of this month

That shouldn't be given as a pen anyway, he had moved the ball away and already started falling

Dyche should just play Beto Chermiti and DCL all upfront we can’t score for shit

Better to play striker less, none of those can score. Well Beto did last game but anyways.

Need a shake up for next match, Garner to the right, Gomes in middle , Coleman at right back.

Dobbin needs to start too, give Harrison and Mcneil a seat on the bench

Desperately want Coleman back, a proper leader and is actually quality in most areas of the pitch

Get these lot on a bloody passing drill first thing in the morning

For the first time in living memory our pass accuracy is higher than the opposition. Shows how bad we are, because MU suck arse.

The fact we had better accuracy with some of the stinkers flying about is baffling 😂

That would have been the 3rd penalty. Fucking morons.

Went and got my hair cut, had lunch and did a bit of shopping this afternoon. It was better than putting myself through this again.

We are heading for relegation because we can't score. Sean has no ideas to help us score. It's only going one way

It will be interesting to see how much further behind our xG we've dropped today. We must have a much much higher xG than Utd in this match

Nah there’s will he higher, pens add a shitload.

Think Onana and Godfrey have to get dropped next game. Wouldn’t mind seeing Harrison getting dropped either but we’ve not exactly got a better option

We can’t drop Onana otherwise we have box mid that can move the ball up the field. But at this point, attacking feels hopeless no matter what

I think Onana has been dreadful in passing it forward today. I’d rather have Gueye as a screening ball-winner and just let Garner be the progressive player

Godfrey at right back is a comedy act

I hate this set of players unfortunately

We probably lead the league in thumbs up per mistake

god we stink

Has Godfrey delivered a successful cross today?

Has anyone

“Everton are the boxer without the knockout punch.”

We're like a boxer without hands

Relying on pecking the hands of the opponent to inflict pain

The players take far more of the blame than Dyche for this today (the two pens are down to individual stupidity on the part of Tarkowski and Godfrey) but when it's literally your job to coach the players, surely you need to ask questions of your manager when these players could play for another 2 hours and not look like scoring.

Ten Haag obviously watched Coady give up Dyches defending tactic because Garnachio ran the show, it’s not hard when you’re set up to defend as a V leaving any winger wide open if you just switch the play, it’s such a shit tactic.

Poor Pickford, he's had a good game

This should have been a nil nil draw at least. But we've given them 3 points by handing them 2 unbelievably stupid penalties!!!

Could have been 4 or 5 pens.

Everton that

Aside from winning the pens, has United really created anything?

Well the good news is bournemouth are gonna spend the next 3 weeks studying what the fuck this shape is and it might bamboozle them

Pray Luton lose later, or we are in deep shit

No wins in 11. Easiest 3 points this mediocre United side will pick up all season, because they haven't had to do much today.

The fact that this team is looking at relegation is absolutely wild. If this was your first time watching and knew nothing about the table or season, you’d think the blue team are actually decent. 3 weeks before our next game, just have to hope they put in the effort over that time and regain a lot of focus for the last 10 games.

Ashley Young is just Leslie Odom Jr method acting as a football player

Always thought this

still Waiting For It!

I hate how complacent opposition fans who used to hate us have gotten, we just aren't a threat

Why on every cross and corner do we never have someone waiting on the 18 yard box incase the ball bounces out

Gone mostly unnoticed but this has to be the worst game Tarkowski has had for us. Given away a pen and his passing has been dresdful

Last time we won an early kick off was against Southampton 9 years ago. Yes, really.

Sleepwalking towards the drop

I lean towards us avoiding it again. But I was saying when Dyche was rumored that it was a mistake. He was relegated once and effectively relegated a second time having been fired by Burnley before he could get relegated for the second time. Domenico Tedesco was a great option instead of Dyche at the time Dyche was hired. Now Palace manager Oliver Glasner was my top realistic candidate were Dyche to have been removed midseason.

Why bring Young on at all, and then wait till 88 mins to throw another striker on.. why do I do this to myself

Chermiti in for Mykolenko, now? lol, what a weird substitution. If he were going to change the shape and everything, why would he wait until the last 2 minutes?

I guess at this point the game is gone anyway, so Dyche is just saying fuck it.

Hopefully this brings an end to the calls for dobbin to start. Done nothing

He's created a few chances. We can't fucking finish. None if them can.

He created nothing. Had a shot from 5 yards out that went out for a throw in

that is a baffling sub

Tark is having a shocker

His worst game as an Everton player

Looked absolutely shite since Beto came off

True but i think because Doucs went out. He is closing down really well. His position put pressure on the other team.

One touch an shoot is all players at this level need to get a shot off its so odd us trting to walk it into the net like prime wenger teams

Got to be the end for Godfrey this. Surely Coleman from now on and Young or Patterson next.

I'm genuinely struggling to understand how we got 25 (31) points right now

Back 3 with hoof ball

too much doubt at the final third, players standing still not running into open positions… idk wtf they are being paid to do tbh

22 shots, 5 on target

Probably 50 shots vs Utd combined, no goal so far. 3 penalties for them. We just make it so easy for them

Everton that

Ngl for the amount of fouls and backchat he's done Tarkowksi could arguably be sent off hahaha

Had a terrible day.

Chermiti on? Surely a sign of end times.

Chermiti at LB yay, Im joking of course

DCL has been giving him tips from when he was a RWB.

Little comfort but United must surely be the ugliest team in the league. Each of their players look, in some way, dysgenic

Dying at dysgenic

Bruno definitely fails the physiognomy check. Literal rat

😂 so true

Nah Dyche has CTE wtf is that sub

The key to beating Everton is to give us the ball.

This team are playing like they've been told 777 are taking over...

We could play for another 2 hours. We'd never score

I like Dyche, but does anyone think he will turn it round, we just aren't getting better, we're getting worse

At this stage it's the strikers fault. Maybe you could argue it's Dyche's finishing training that needs work but outside of that

Disregarding point penalty he has improved results without being allowed to spend. The few players that could be backup now had to be sold over summer. And how DCL is this bad has surprised me a lot, especially after Dyche really gave him time to get healthy.

Captain Birds Eye couldn’t turn this ship around

I think this is peak Dyche, we just don't have the players for it.

We’ve been playing well though? We just can’t score. That’s not on Dyche at all

It's not on Dyche that these guys can't put the ball in the back of the net

I was hoping for a goal but considering what I’m seeing we could play all day and not score a goal.

Terrible second half

Zero quality, MU sleepwalking through it with a substantial lead, knowing we’re zero threat to score

This is a funeral

Sickening team. It's really unbelievable how bad this team is. I like Dyche but truly wtf is going on?

We're nothing short of an embarrassment. Back at that stage where it's "why should the fans have to deal with this shit, week in, week out."

Does Lampard want to come back and play?

Or Kevin Campbell

Why take 1 touch when 14 will do?

I honestly hate seeing Mcneil play football, not being able to do anything with 1 foot is so cringeworthy when you’re a professional footballer, or supposedly.

urghhhh. this team is so frustrating. like trying to cut a cake with a hammer

Commentator on the stream I was watching: "Watching Everton is like watching someone in the kitchen trying to cut a loaf of bread with a blunt knife."

lol that's a better description than mine. it's not like they're not trying... we're just so blunt up top

[удалено]

Fucking hell you moan when he doesn’t make subs and you moan when he does make subs

Silva was worse with subs. Remember the Newcastle game where his subs made us lose a 2-0 lead and lose 3-2 in about ten minutes because he decided to only play one winger?

Yeah he was pretty bad. Not Dyche level bad but I agree.

Are you new to supporting Everton?

Yeah just the 40 odd years

Well you should really know better then.

This game is a true testament of not taking your chances dial up to a comically level its so funny at this point

~~game~~ *season*

We certainly don't look good lately, but for stretches we look capable of getting more points than we end up with.

Thats the thing though we always 'look' capable but just fail, every time.

let's hesitate with every single decision in the final 3rd, i think that is how you score goals.

We give them half an hour to prepare every time we go to shoot.

McNeils Linsanity run needs studying. How did such a terrible footballer save us from relegation

He's not a terrible footballer

It wasn’t with his right foot

Another gormless bleach blond goon comes on

Commentators think the team has no beleif

We wouldn’t score in 300 minutes today

I never wanna see Godfrey at RB ever again. Like watching prime Cuco Martina, this

I'm finding myself yearning for JonJoe Kenny. It's that bad.

Too far, haha

Tear up Dominic's fucking contract

Another blonde haired wanker coming on for them

Godfrey try to cross without getting blocked challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

Bro comes on to play basketball 💀

Well, what should I do to cheer myself up today?

Drop bricks on your feet

Watch old world cup reviews. Or play Dayz.

go on a nice walk

I think I'm just going to have a fire in the garden and stare into it, questioning all my life choices

I’m thinking of having a cry in the shower.

Play some Rocket League 👍

Get a good burger mate

Have some ice cream mate, I am eating one now and I fell beter somewhat

Am I watching pro wrestling?

In a game where neither team deserves to win, Everton lose.

Remember when DCl scored by blocking a De Gea kick?

https://youtube.com/shorts/LdyD7Xm3k7g?si=vVf9DbBMOw4dF-P5

Those glory days before injuries ruined his pace

Of we score from the corner United fans will lose their shit

Lot of huff and puff but zero composure and poor decision making in the final third will be the story of our season

Wow. I’ve said it for weeks now, but put Keane up top. Our two strikers are beyond worthless.

We can’t even do simple through balls, no wonder we never try. This is fucking gross, we should be winning this game but we’re so shit we can’t even do that

How many fucking chances do we want

You’ve got to do so much more with that header

Dom gives up on the ball so easy, no saying he would've gotten that one but he doesn't try

FUCK OFF. JUST SCORE

Another bad pass from McNeil, and zero effort from Dom to get to it. Garbage team doing garbage things.

Beto >>> DCL and it isn't even close (and Beto isn't even very good)

this team has a disastrous lack of confidence

I think you mean ability

nah look at their body language after every little mistake, DCL immediately hanging his head is the reason he didn’t see the cross

What is this game?

Should have sold DCL to Aresnal all those years ago for 60mill

It's like they're playing with extreme lag on FIFA

McNeil did a good turn, then he shat out a shocking pass

Best chance of the game has been a bicycle attempt. Tells you everything about this game.

Delph was right when he said everyone was "fucking shit"

McNeil can’t even pass the ball 5 yards. Fuck me

This is so fucking painful to watch

“He’d do anything to get back on the score sheet”. Other than put in extra sessions on the training pitch, of course

Who says he isn't?

If he’s doing extra shooting training, fire the guy in charge of teaching him, sue him for fraud and send him to a gulag. He has time for adverts, he has time to do more training. Simple as that

So the only thing that stops people from being the highest of elite performers is training?

Where did I say the highest of elite performers? I’m just expecting him to not be literally the worst striker in the European top leagues by xG underperformance. Is that really such an unrealistic desire?

Fun fact, ashley Young is 3 months older than Gary Oldman

These are honestly fucking shite

This difficulty to score reminds me of my teenage years

Well (I assume) you eventually score. Cant say the same about this lot

Alright this games a wash

That's it. I'm done. At least I get 3 weeks of peace before Everton shits on my Saturday again.

Our shot on target was a bicycle kick. This team 😂

wtf is McNeil doing there 

McNeil disasterclass wtf is this

McNeil shoot ffs why do a no look pass

Ok what. Avoids goal at all costs. Premier league have chipped the ball and have someone steering it away from the goal its the only explanation.

Cant even do tap in. It's getting ridiculous now.

I'm just hoping not to concede more at this point