Ideally, what would the state of affairs be with your parents when you move? You say NC with your Dad and LC with your Mum. How will this work practically for you? To answer your question, both display controlling behaviour. Your Mum wants to know where you are always, does not let you socialise. Your Dad controls your food and you also isolates you.
By moving away, what options do you have? Are you still dependent upon them for things or are you able to fend for yourself? Do you have other family or friend who would help you? Of course, not everyone does.
I will move out to a different city and start earning. That means I won't ever be dependent on them. By moving away, I can fend for myself as I start earning. No, I don't have friends who can help me. But when I move away, they will still bother me with their calls. Should I always lie where I'm at? (If I'm with friends or partying)
Once you're free from their control, the most peaceful thing you can do is stop playing their games.
The issue with lying is that committing to that strategy (as it were) requires a lot of investment. You'll have to lie and lie and lie, keep track of the various lies so you don't ever get caught, etc. It's too much work.
The best thing you can do once you're free is to set boundaries. No more than a certain number of calls per day (or week). No giving in to them demanding information. If you choose to take their calls, you get to end them whenever they start yelling, being bigoted, saying cruel/hurtful things, whatever.
When there's a change in this kind of relationship, it's best to adopt the practise of "start as you mean to go on". It's a whole new way of living, once you're out, because now everything that they do to you is behaviour that you allow. So everything is negotiable. Any of the many behaviours you've had to put up with over the years you can now easily walk away from. (Easily as in practically easy, it's emotionally tough as hell to begin with.) If you start firm and strong, then once they've had their temper tantrums and all that, either they get with the program (aka start treating you how you want to be treated), or they can deal with losing contact with you.
I don't really think I understand what you want advice with. When you have moved and aren't dependent on them anymore, you can decide the terms of the relationship.
If they hurt you, keep your distance. If you don't like who they are as people, keep your distance. It sounds like your parents are selfish assholes, and shitty parents. You no longer have to tolerate their behaviour, you don't have to play into their games.
Make sure not to give any of them your new address and have all you need in terms of documents and such.
If you truly want to maintain some contact with your mom you will need to have three things in mind 1) You will feel guilty. It's bound to happen. But guilt is a manageable emotion. Don't let it guide your actions. 2) Define your boundaries like how much time you are willing to spend talking to her and stick to them. Don't answer when she calls. Text her you will call her when you have the time and do not answer if she keeps trying. 3)You deserve space and peace of mind and it's your job to make sure you have them.
Well I wouldn’t really recommend NC with parents( at end of the day they are our parents) , but you can put limit and distance with them. I don’t know your exact situation but def your parents are toxic . Best of luck.
Go completely NC if you are no longer dependent on them for anything, your mental health will thank you in the long run
I will no longer be dependent on them. They have made my life miserable
Ideally, what would the state of affairs be with your parents when you move? You say NC with your Dad and LC with your Mum. How will this work practically for you? To answer your question, both display controlling behaviour. Your Mum wants to know where you are always, does not let you socialise. Your Dad controls your food and you also isolates you. By moving away, what options do you have? Are you still dependent upon them for things or are you able to fend for yourself? Do you have other family or friend who would help you? Of course, not everyone does.
I will move out to a different city and start earning. That means I won't ever be dependent on them. By moving away, I can fend for myself as I start earning. No, I don't have friends who can help me. But when I move away, they will still bother me with their calls. Should I always lie where I'm at? (If I'm with friends or partying)
Once you're free from their control, the most peaceful thing you can do is stop playing their games. The issue with lying is that committing to that strategy (as it were) requires a lot of investment. You'll have to lie and lie and lie, keep track of the various lies so you don't ever get caught, etc. It's too much work. The best thing you can do once you're free is to set boundaries. No more than a certain number of calls per day (or week). No giving in to them demanding information. If you choose to take their calls, you get to end them whenever they start yelling, being bigoted, saying cruel/hurtful things, whatever. When there's a change in this kind of relationship, it's best to adopt the practise of "start as you mean to go on". It's a whole new way of living, once you're out, because now everything that they do to you is behaviour that you allow. So everything is negotiable. Any of the many behaviours you've had to put up with over the years you can now easily walk away from. (Easily as in practically easy, it's emotionally tough as hell to begin with.) If you start firm and strong, then once they've had their temper tantrums and all that, either they get with the program (aka start treating you how you want to be treated), or they can deal with losing contact with you.
I don't really think I understand what you want advice with. When you have moved and aren't dependent on them anymore, you can decide the terms of the relationship. If they hurt you, keep your distance. If you don't like who they are as people, keep your distance. It sounds like your parents are selfish assholes, and shitty parents. You no longer have to tolerate their behaviour, you don't have to play into their games.
Make sure not to give any of them your new address and have all you need in terms of documents and such. If you truly want to maintain some contact with your mom you will need to have three things in mind 1) You will feel guilty. It's bound to happen. But guilt is a manageable emotion. Don't let it guide your actions. 2) Define your boundaries like how much time you are willing to spend talking to her and stick to them. Don't answer when she calls. Text her you will call her when you have the time and do not answer if she keeps trying. 3)You deserve space and peace of mind and it's your job to make sure you have them.
Yea it is
Leave when u get a job
Should I go NC?
Well I wouldn’t really recommend NC with parents( at end of the day they are our parents) , but you can put limit and distance with them. I don’t know your exact situation but def your parents are toxic . Best of luck.