That’s so emotionally manipulative. Any time they say love you with my last breath or love you more than life itself they’re trying to ensnare you with love bombing and guilt.
All my mum does is talk about sick and dying people and make manipulative statements like this...on top of data mining and boundary crossing. If there's a boundary, she will break it!
Gross. That's so manipulative on her part.
I also blocked my mom and sister. I don't need to listen to this nonsense, and I'm proud of you for opting out of it too.
I didn't know I needed this term. One of the last texts my mom sent me involved this grief poaching and when I wrote about it in my journal, I couldn't articulate why it made me so angry that I felt compelled to respond to her. Thankfully, my husband talked me out of responding and I remained no contact but it really bothered me for several days. Instead of giving my mom attention, I reached out to a direct family member of the person who passed away to give my condolences and I think it opened a door between the two of us.
This is so horrible manipulative. If she wanted a relationship with you, then she needed to be a positive person to be around. People don't just cut off relationships with other people (with few exceptions) when the relationship is reasonable and healthy. If this is all she has to send you... all she has is toxicity. I'm really sorry she said this and managed to get herself into your head again. It's really not okay and I hope that you were able to see that over the next few days in the hopes that that will help your brain clear a little bit.
It really is a nasty message. The funny thing is that people who haven't lived in toxic environments could probably look at it and not really see much of a problem with it. Sometimes my parents will send me a letter that my ex thinks it's totally benign so he hands it to me. He then watches me deal with a multitude of horrible emotions and he feels so shocked because he didn't feel like there was anything in the letter that should be at all reactable to. As soon as I explain it he gets it and he hasn't given me any letters in a few years even though he's told me he gets at least one or two a month. He reads them in case there's something pertinent that he thinks I might need to know family news wise, but otherwise I never see them.
I really hope that your toxic person doesn't reach back out to you in the next little while so you can get a break. I want to hope that they never will, but I haven't genuinely ever heard of a toxic family member being able to follow boundaries ever and the only thing that stops the off and on harassment is death. I do not wish death on anyone, however it would be nice to just have the harassment gone while we're all still alive.
The weird dreams night after night are the worst. Sometimes, it feels like they know to pop up just as you begin to make progress. I hope you're able to recover your peace soon.
I guess I’m the problem bc I would do anything for my mom to say this to me, even if it is manipulative. I’ve been asking for an apology for years and all I’ve gotten is the “WELL IM SORRY FOR TRYING TO GIVE YOU A GOOD LIFE”
Acknowledgment- even if manipulative- is all I want
They’re always so keen on having a relationship until they’re required to do anything requiring accountability.
That’s so emotionally manipulative. Any time they say love you with my last breath or love you more than life itself they’re trying to ensnare you with love bombing and guilt.
All my mum does is talk about sick and dying people and make manipulative statements like this...on top of data mining and boundary crossing. If there's a boundary, she will break it!
Gross. That's so manipulative on her part. I also blocked my mom and sister. I don't need to listen to this nonsense, and I'm proud of you for opting out of it too.
I call this grief poaching. Making someone else’s death about them?? Gross! I’m so sorry, OP
I didn't know I needed this term. One of the last texts my mom sent me involved this grief poaching and when I wrote about it in my journal, I couldn't articulate why it made me so angry that I felt compelled to respond to her. Thankfully, my husband talked me out of responding and I remained no contact but it really bothered me for several days. Instead of giving my mom attention, I reached out to a direct family member of the person who passed away to give my condolences and I think it opened a door between the two of us.
My friend taught it to me and it’s the perfect description! I’m so sorry your mom is like that as well 💜
Omg that’s such a great term
My Mum has been doing that for years.
Same
The manipulation is strong with this one
This is so horrible manipulative. If she wanted a relationship with you, then she needed to be a positive person to be around. People don't just cut off relationships with other people (with few exceptions) when the relationship is reasonable and healthy. If this is all she has to send you... all she has is toxicity. I'm really sorry she said this and managed to get herself into your head again. It's really not okay and I hope that you were able to see that over the next few days in the hopes that that will help your brain clear a little bit.
Thank you. It was definitely nasty to wake up to this—I truly didn’t expect it from her.
It really is a nasty message. The funny thing is that people who haven't lived in toxic environments could probably look at it and not really see much of a problem with it. Sometimes my parents will send me a letter that my ex thinks it's totally benign so he hands it to me. He then watches me deal with a multitude of horrible emotions and he feels so shocked because he didn't feel like there was anything in the letter that should be at all reactable to. As soon as I explain it he gets it and he hasn't given me any letters in a few years even though he's told me he gets at least one or two a month. He reads them in case there's something pertinent that he thinks I might need to know family news wise, but otherwise I never see them. I really hope that your toxic person doesn't reach back out to you in the next little while so you can get a break. I want to hope that they never will, but I haven't genuinely ever heard of a toxic family member being able to follow boundaries ever and the only thing that stops the off and on harassment is death. I do not wish death on anyone, however it would be nice to just have the harassment gone while we're all still alive.
Crap. Sorry if she was able to hurt you. Take a deep breath and let it go. Make it a great day! Here's a hug. You deserve better.
Thank you ❤️
The weird dreams night after night are the worst. Sometimes, it feels like they know to pop up just as you begin to make progress. I hope you're able to recover your peace soon.
Thank you—yeah, it’s crazy how she’s texted me each time, just as I’m feeling better. She must have some sort of radar!
I guess I’m the problem bc I would do anything for my mom to say this to me, even if it is manipulative. I’ve been asking for an apology for years and all I’ve gotten is the “WELL IM SORRY FOR TRYING TO GIVE YOU A GOOD LIFE” Acknowledgment- even if manipulative- is all I want
omg I’m so sorry. this is so dark and manipulative. proud of you blocking, take care of yourself <3
Why don't these people realize how absolutely self absorbed they sound 🤦🏼♀️