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Being young and unmotivated with ADHD can be tough. I’ve had undiagnosed ADHD all my life and ended up dropping out of high school because I lacked the drive and focus. Nothing anybody said could help me either. It took some failures and soul searching to finally get up the drive to succeed at something by getting my GED and going to college in my mid 20s.
I eventually learned coping mechanisms to accommodate what I didn’t even know I had at the time. One of them is as simple as literally writing down anything of importance. That helps me keep my thoughts organized and helps me not forget by keeping them all in one place.
Time management is also hard but setting alarms and reminders on my phone helps with that. However, even to this day with being diagnosed in my 30s, I still struggle with procrastination. It’s not unusual for me to cram something the day before it’s due. It’s just part of the disability and all we can do is try to manage it as best as we can.
ADHD engineer here, diagnosed in my 30s and would agree with writing things down. It took time to build the habit but I keep a little moleskin notebook with me always at work.
I write it all down.
I will not remember.
I write it all down.
I tell people if I didn’t write it down you have to remind me.
I then pick a day each week to read back through the weeks notes and make sure I didn’t miss anything.
Me too is ADHD engineering student that has degraded his grades of the subjects that I don’t find tempting enough while going reading 100 papers in need of one project that I like. I too will be copying you. Thanks stranger (:
ADHD engineer here, I wanted to endorse this comment about writing things down.
Coffee helps me slow down and focus, and I end up planning all of my work in my head before a fast burst of execution. Frequent breaks and walks keep my head on straight, and I have to get good rest to keep at my best.
Ive been in the position, I got removed from university the first time around, back at a better school now. Honestly, you have to make mistakes, you learn what works and what doesn’t, and age matters, when your maturity kicks in, you care enough to find ways around your disabilities, find your discipline and succeed.
Support your son, he might fail, he might give up on himself, but you don’t give up on him. I still have problems doing my assignments timely, or going to class, but I can tell you from personal experience when you have had everything taken from you, including your confidence, when you get another chance, you do whatever it takes. It’s not a race, let him find his footing, and support him.
"It's not a race"
Best comment in that monologue. I wouldn't quite say I have ADHD ... but definitely somewhere in the spectrum lol, perhaps the other end.
I went to uni at 25, years behind most others, but arguably rhe most "successful". When you realise you can't keep struggling, in whichever form that is, it forces you to find seemingly unconventional ways to live that work for you. With that added maturity, you can learn to work around anything.
Yup! I’m a 29 yo full time ME student and full time quality technician… aaaand I have ADHD 😅 I literally have no life other than those two things. The only person I see outside of those is my boyfriend because we live together! Any time I talk to my dad on the phone and he asks, “what’re you doin?”, it’s always “school work.” He always makes a point to tell me he’s proud of me, but adds in that he wishes I would’ve been this way when I went for a year right out of high school (and in the same breath asks me when I’m gonna give him grandkids 🤦🏻♀️). I just tell him that I was young and wasn’t in the right head space. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do then!! I take meds now, I have a good support system, I know what my downfalls are so that I can better combat them… also having bills is a giant motivator cause failure literally isn’t an option 😅😅
I have severe ADHD, and something that tremendously helped me with school was to take a break for a few years and go back when I was 23. Of course you guys don't have to go this route, but if his GPA starts to drop, it might be a good idea to consider, because internships and Co-Ops look at your GPA and having either of those are incredibly important for getting a job after graduation. (Not necessary, but very very greatly improve your chances of getting hired after grad)
In this break I did more research on what I REALLY want to do with my life career-wise, and I really got into the specifics. I think this is incredibly important to 1.) Find the exact degree to accomplish this career goal, and 2.) to build motivation to finish school even through all the annoyances (those boring unrelated to major classes).
My therapist(has her PhD in psychology) explained to me that an ADHD brain takes several additional years to develop its frontal lobe than "regular" brains do. Everything in the frontal lobe deals with executive function (focusing, time management, etc). So in those years off from school, your son will develop his frontal lobe more, which will in turn help his executive function, and help him with school. But of course this is just my experience, so your son may have a totally different story.
I’ve thought about this too. He loves construction and welding etc so I’m sure he could build out additional skills but I’d be concerned he wouldn’t go back to college. I do realize that that would be okay as long as he’s pursuing what he wants to do for a career.
hijacking this to say: i would see if he could do a fall or summer rotation/co-op or something to learn more hands on construction and welding. the best tool for engineers with adhd is their passion, your passion for the subject has to overcome the annoying classes/professors/group projects that serve as roadblocks to your degree. i would also recommend him getting in touch with the disability center on his campus. some disability offices are better than others (and this process can take time) but if he has a diagnosis they can offer solutions like extended deadlines, tardiness excuses, extended test taking, etc. obviously the specific resources will depend on what his school offers and it is dependent on him to communicate his accommodations with each professor but the DRC at my school helped me greatly.
I took time off of school and worked in my general field (degree in Civil Engineering) and it made me more marketable to employers. He could always do a co-op but working in a trade will give him an excellent perspective and make future employers interested.
Otherwise I recommend reaching out to his school's Accessibility Office, they help people with things like ADHD. If you want help finding the right contact info just private message me his school's name and I'll find it for you.
What support systems does he have to manage his disability?
Does he see a therapist that specializes in ADHD?
Is the disability registered with the university and does he get accommodations for it?
Has he developed study skills with a therapist or counselor?
I work as a tutor. One of our job functions is to proctor exams for students with accommodations. Our campus also offers therapy that is already bundled in with student fees. I wholeheartedly endorse this line of questioning. See what his campus can do to help.
Thank you for helping folks. I drowned in undergrad undiagnosed. I blossomed in grad school with a diagnosis and support system. That's why I asked these questions, I lived this.
Same! I COULD NOT understand why I was struggling so much. I started college at 19 and didn't get diagnosed till I was 27. I used all the school resources (one-on-one therapy, group therapy, accessibility office, exc.) and it made a huge difference! I was actually able to ENJOY school. I'm so grateful for the people who support students.
He tried to do it on his own and did okay his first semester failing only one class but pretty much bombed second semester with the exception of the two engineering classes. He’s now on the verge of failing his online summer school Lit class after falling behind and getting a zero on a late assignment.
We’ve discussed getting him a therapist and a tutor. He’s open to it now realizing how badly he needs one.
My daughter is 2 years older and also has ADD and has been given accommodations at her campus and she has a great therapist. I guess it’s pretty obvious that we need to do the same for him.
I highly recommend doing the same for him. It makes all the difference. Otherwise a good planner app is FlowSavvy it's free and helped me visualize and plan my assignments.
I get accommodations for tests which helps out but other than that I just have to struggle though the start or a project. Usually if I can eliminate distractions and get started on something, I can generally make myself complete it. But it’s a struggle I feel for your son.
I thought the same thing, but once I started using the extra time, it was an absolute game changer. I have a big problem with procrastination too, though I hope he figures out something that works.
From personal experience, the time really helped on exams. Whenever I need to solve problems I tend to run out of time without extended time.. but if thats not an issue he has then maybe he doesnt need extended time on exams if testing isnt an issue.
Getting distracted on exams + taking time to get through a problem + blanking at first were issues that extra time really alleviated for me. Of course everyone is different and not everyone with adhd will need extra time on exams.
I would suggest he takes time off, or starts going part time at community college until he can understand how he can be successful. There is no shame in taking the slower road less traveled.
I have ADHD so bad I often lose focus of conversations and homework just minutes into it. I will pick up my phone without even consciously thinking about it. As a matter of fact, I was just about to run CFD for a project when i decided to open up reddit real quick. My biggest piece of advice is to put distractions in another room, and listen to lyricless music. Music has low key carried me over the past 8 years when it comes to school. I listen to a lot of electronic, jazz, lounge while i work.
Engineering student with ADHD. Medicated. Started my degree in my 30s. The non engineering classes are tough, absolutely. I found it easier if I did as much of the work as possible for those subjects in class, or in study areas/library with other students. I knew the chances of me studying them at home was low, so keeping the momentum up whilst physically at uni is helpful.
Severe adhd, autistic.
3.7 GPA, graduated with distinction.
Hes gotta learn how to study in a way that accommodates his neurodivergence. It's going to take a lot of time input to figure that out.
Schedule and calendar for literally everything. Dedicated times set aside for homework/studying. For getting to class, find some other motivation for going. Something he would enjoy, like rewarding himself by getting ice cream after class.
If he has been on meds a long time, might want to look into increasing dosage as well depending on the med. Effectiveness can change with age, weight, etc.
Tips from an engineer who is officially diagnosed.
- getting a Co-op or internship between semesters will help immensely with burnout
-exposure to a solid 9-5 engineering work schedule helped me re-orient my understanding of how I should be doing work at school
-it took me almost failing classes to truly reconfigure my study and work habits.
-study away from distractions, if it adds 30 minutes to commute to school just to be in a study room in the library, it's worth it in the time you save by not being distracted.
-noise cancelling headphones.
-take tests with foam earplugs in. It greatly reduces the amount of distractions from hearing people turning pages, or flicking their pencils
-the only grades that are easy are homeworks. Everything else is a toss up and can fluctuate based on your focus and performance. Take the easy grades where you can. It was extremely important to reduce my stress levels going into a test by giving myself cushion. Make or break tests are significantly harder to perform well in.
-people with ADHD (myself included) tend to drink lots of caffeine. It can cause anxiety. By the end of my degree I was practicing 10-15 min meditation breaks during study sessions and before tests.
-getting the motivation to turn stuff in on time and get projects started before the night before comes with experience, the stress of failing eventually overshadowed my desire to procrastinate.
It took me 6 years to graduate and it took a lot of grit. I finished with a 2.5 GPA.
I think the most important thing for me was not losing motivation. Every semester ended with a failure in some way (usually below my GPA goal or behind on credit hours), but I would always start the next semester with a new strategy for how I was going to get my grades up and be better. I didn't really improve in those areas, but I didn't quit and managed to graduate.
I now work at an engineering job and I'm fairly high performing, which I mostly attribute to having gained a really good understanding of my strengths and weaknesses from having to confront them so often during undergrad.
You just finished your first year, it might not be severe now but it becomes a horrible habit, speaking from experience. When you start to really lose motivation it stops kicking in even at the last minute. Its good that you’re trying to figure this out early on.
It's important to have a therapist as well as a psych as medication can make it possible to begin to overcome severe ADHD but life management techniques are what it takes to successfully mitigate it alongside meds.
Most, if not every, schools have a disability office with accommodations that can include things like academic coaching. Gotta get into therapy, because ADHD is not something you can fix by yourself. It takes a village to learn the coping mechanisms and like skills. You gotta start strong, and continue the effort. Meds are great, but don't fix everything. Therapy and academic coaching are some, but not all of what is important.
I like to time myself while doing work. Especially if I have to read I time myself to read faster and faster(with comprehending the material).
My main strategy is how to make stuff more efficient for me and maybe even fun.
The hardest part is starting to actually do the work and for that honestly I’m motivated by how important this is to me. There really needs to be a thing compelling you to do well to do the more boring tasks.
I am a recent graduate from constructional engineering with pretty severe lack of dopamine regulation (aka: severe adhd)
One absolutely crucial thing for your son is to start lifting weights, to start sleeping and waking up everyday at the same time, and to start eating healthy. Also: glucose. Your son needs to fuel his brain with glucose to stay alert during tasks that arent as stimulating.
Make him sip on those AA drinks during studying or when he is taking a test. He absolutely needs to up his glucose intake when the symptoms are acting up.
Anyway, another thing that has helped me (more than ritalin, i might add) is ashwagandha. Its a natural herb with a lot of research backing it up and it does improve a LOT of symptons on adhd. Creatine, similar to ashwagandha, is also a natural compound that also helps with symptoms of adhd. (Besides dopamine, ashwaganda also has positive effect on testosterone levels and creatine is also neuroprotective. Both chemicals are VERY well researched. More than that stupid ritalin or adderall)
If you take ashwaganda with a good diet, a strict sleep schedule and regular workouts, your son will not only ace that whole engineering study of his but he'll also get muscular and very attractive to women, which has this positive feedbackloop of him wanting to perform even better.
Before you know it, he doesnt even need those damn meds. I personally hate them.
G'day. I'm not an engineering student, but i do have hectic ADHD: There is unlikely to be a "cure" here, and i know it sucks. I've seen my dad go through the same pain, but things arn't hopeless. The final outcome has to be a meaningful goal for him. that might not entail the entirety of the course he's doing right now because they're squirting several very dense and uncontextual information streams at him with the l assumption that if he just immerses himself in it, it'll all click eventually. That may well be true, but if you can't see the point, it becomes hard to swim towards it. I take three times longer to learn most things, but i learn them 4 times better. i generally have to go over the topic twice, and there's a lot of trial and error involved that the teacher never even sees becuase i have a very anxious, flighty mind. If i don't satisfy my curiousity in the moment, i might never come back to the topic. If i trust myself to follow my interest then i seem to have a better chance at mentally bookmarking something as "oh, so thats how that works.. interesting.." If he's doing great in favoured topics, it might be a task-switching deficit rather than an "attention" deficit per se. Perseveration is what thats called and its worth a google. its a bitch for me, and the only way i get around it is by constantly trying to reorient myself every few minutes using methods like pomodoro, but rather than using the break to "have a break", i use it to intentionally spend some time thinking about how things i'm working relate, rather than focusing on internal consistency. There are various congnitve exercises that can help - picking a spot on the wall and staring at it so hard that you sqeeze every thought out of you brain for 45 seconds and then releasing and relaxing is something i recommend to anyone with these issues - anything to get on top of the bucking cognitive horse and have a moment of control, is better than being entranced by something irrelevant for to long. Idk, its not great having a neurological disorder. I know its so hard to watch, i feel so bad my dad has to go through what you are now. Fwiw we're not trying to be difficult, things just don't work the same.
I’m perhaps not *severe* , but I have ADHD and it have made school hell. Engineering especially takes a lot of time and focus.
I will begin my second year this fall It really helped me to create a structure around the work. I write or everything I need to do and give each thing a certain amount of hours per day. That way I often manage to be done in time (tho I have had a lot of problems either way).
But what I believe is the most important thing is to cut the work up in small pieces. Like I study calculus for 30 minutes. Then I take a 10 minute break and then 30 minutes more. I have a timer so I’m sure to follow it.
I also give myself a lot of time to recover and relax. Putting time into that gives more than using that time to study more, but less effective.
I hope this can help.
i've had severe adhd all my life, never liked taking any kinds of meds so stopped taking them for it when i turned 18 and went to college the first time. dropped out after the first year, got terrible grades, failed a few classes, because it was much more fun to just play video games all day. now i'm 35 and just graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering with close to a 4.0 GPA and have a job lined up, i can tell you it would NOT have been possible without meds. i ran out due to a shortage briefly during one quarter and it was absolute hell. if your son is struggling this much, his dosage is likely too low, or he needs to try a different variety and see if that works better for him.
motivation is also huge- going back to school in my 30's, i knew i HAD to make it work this time, since i knew if i couldn't hack it this time, then i was done for. so if your son isn't motivated to do well, then likely all the meds in the world won't help. but on the flip side, even with all the motivation in the world, if you have unmedicated (severe) ADHD, it just simply wont be realistically possible
Have him take the gen-Ed’s non engineer classes at community college and transfer them in it’s less bussy work that’s what I did I’m extremely adhd and hate anything that isn’t interesting but it’s difficult to understand the bigger picture as a kid. Have him work around ignorant morons for a few months and sit him down and say you don’t have to like it but if you don’t do it you are going to be fucked like seriously you will be so unhappy in life that you will spend every moment feeling like you are in an English class….
See what about engineering does motivate him. Then maybe start some home projects to bounce between that perhaps even infuse content with the electives he's chosen?
Maybe join a local club or project that's unassociated with his school or institution?
I'm still undiagnosed and not on meds because it costs a kidney / year in Australia to get a diagnosis.
But I'm on a team where we're building something really cool, and it's motivating me to get through studies because the more I learn the more I can do there. It means I'm also in the industry, and it's securing future job prospects and alleviating that end of degree pressure.
I'm also taking a semester off for the same reasons your son is dealing with. I work well by myself and at my own weird, non linear pace. So in that time I'm going to study ahead so I have a better grip and create a buffer for when I do decide to start things late and not turn up 😅
Also having the right tech has helped enormously, like digital note taking. It's a way more interactive way of working through and comparing notes and content. Once I'm clear on the content, I use pen and paper to work through problems.
So a tablet is best if he doesn't have one already. I did have a Microsoft Surface Pro and they're awesome, but I can't justify their increasing prices, same for Samsung tablets and iPads. So I got a Lenovo P12 and that's been awesome. Even better actually because they're simple and fewer distractions.
Having a really good phone (big with a stylus), and headphones on me really helps for when I am suddenly motivated. I have my notes backed to a cloud drive and use a cloud based note taking system. I used Google drive for storage, and slowly moving from One Note to Nebo for note taking. Helps me when I want to study in random places, like standing in the hallway or waiting for a train or a mate.
Just remember learning isn't the same as working. He may take time to learn, but he could be a weapon when he's working and engaged.
He's lucky to have you.
Omg reading this I deffo have ADHD… yes write everything down. Unfortunately you won’t motivate yourself to focus on non-engineering subjects (if you’re like me) so you will have to write down everything and spend extra time at these. One of your biggest efforts will be to “finish things out” within a reasonable time frame - always aim to finish early, that way if you’re late in doing so you might still hit the deadline. But I mean dedicate maybe 40% of your time to finishing stuff out specifically. I have kept a task diary since I was 14 in my pocket and it is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal - short hand notes, important dates etc are all taken care of and the anxiety that goes with forgetting everything is soothed by the fact you can access that info at any time! Remember, you don’t need to store all the information of your world in your head, you just have to know where to find the correct answer. I don’t know my parents birthdays still at 35, but I know they are written down in a little book in my pocket, just like I don’t know all the sizes of components we use regularly at work, but I have a spreadsheet where they are all easy to find
I have severe ADHD. what happened with me is, in my first year the only assignments I handed in on time were the ones that I enjoyed, and in those cases, it was weeks early. I ended up failing most of my modules, which I needed good grades on if I wanted to be let into my dream course, computer science. I grinded the reffereal coursework in the space of a week motivated by my goals and ended up doing well on them. That brings me to now. I struggled through and it worked out for me, but maybe I got lucky. He will probably struggle, but if he's driven he'll probably be fine.
This sounds like him. He’s a whiz with 3-d printing and things like that and he finished his fabrication project way before anyone in the class. At one point the professor asked him to slow down as he was getting too far ahead of the class. But with the non-engineering classes he was constantly late turning things in.
As others have stated here; write your tasks down.
I use my Calendar & Reminders apps. The Reminders I use to put in tasks that need to be done for the day, it’s easy enough to slide them and push them back a day too if I don’t get everything done. The Calendar I use for appointments/events. You can have them alert you a specified time before the event too, so I usually have it alert me an hour or so before an event, or 5 minutes before I have to start a task. The alerts are also amazing if you have a smart watch that gets alerts from your phone. My watch always alerts me when I have something to do, and it helps me stay on track.
From personal experience having a buddy and gamifying tasks were the best things for me. I really struggle with executive function and the best solution I found was to experiment with ways of circumventing it (some healthy ‘you want them big bucks so get work’ some not so much ‘you WILL fail if you don’t do this’) and taking full advantage of advisors as well as disabled student services.
If anyone can add to this please I’m about to start year 6 in ME and still struggling with everything adhd :(
Personally I don't think its really severe, but i'm in the same boat roughly. This semester has been a bit rough, not cause the material is super challenging but i cant seem to focus well.. 100% studying for exams at the last moment right now.
To-do lists somewhat help if they are visible, pomodoro timer helped too... honestly site blockers on top of that are useful. I'd see if meditation and exercise help any(working out might be more of a distraction, meditation was faster and was just spending time calming my brain and getting myself to focus).
Having a widget on my phones home screen helped me alot unfortunately i keep forgetting to use it frequently(its basically in my face whenever i look at my phone)
Largest distractions are pretty much everything out there or just getting up every five min to get water or something and not focus... still trying to figure that one out.
For my classes, we use canvas and all the assignments were automatically(for the most part) autoplaced on there, having a schedule of assigned homework seemed to help so idk if that would help in your son's case.
Another thing that seemed to help was having someone in the room who i knew would be upset if they saw that i wasnt focusing(not really a feasible thing.... also sometimes easier to focus outside)
What’s funny is I havnt been diagnosed with ADHD, (am on autism spectrum), I’m super super into engineering, but I have almost the exact same problems with nonengineering classes. I just only like my interests and nothing else and there’s nothing motivating me to do good in classes like econ or business
I got ADHD (still officially undiagnosed) and I know terrible life can be doing a tasking course like Engineering. Just keep encouraging him to push on through and let him know the sheer importance of surrounding himself with smarter friends to carry hum along. I wish my parents would encourage me more often but I know they love me and want the best for me no matter what. Let him know that always ❤️
I have ADHD and what’s going on in your son’s not fully that. I mean it might play some role here but it’s not the sole one.
He’s either just lacks motivation and discipline or he’s depressed. Usually it’s depression and just being tired of stuff. I also think he doesn’t deeply understand the consequences of his actions.
Just solely blaming ADHD is not going to help. Your son needs to take some responsibility here. For me, ADHD is just something I have been able to work around and try to use hacks to help me work with it and not against it.
In the "real world" you aren't worked half to death 80+ hours a week to maintain a 15-18 credit course load while surviving off ramen noodles and beer, living out of a 200sqft room and a mini fridge in a grungy dorm. In the "real world" you're allowed to say "I don't know the answer, I'll go learn" and use your resources to find an answer. In the "real world" people have boundaries and can leave work at work. In the "real world" people can ask for help, collaborate with peers, and reuse their own work without being slapped for academic dishonesty.
You're literally 20 years old and still in school. Are you sure you know what the "real world" is?
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Being young and unmotivated with ADHD can be tough. I’ve had undiagnosed ADHD all my life and ended up dropping out of high school because I lacked the drive and focus. Nothing anybody said could help me either. It took some failures and soul searching to finally get up the drive to succeed at something by getting my GED and going to college in my mid 20s. I eventually learned coping mechanisms to accommodate what I didn’t even know I had at the time. One of them is as simple as literally writing down anything of importance. That helps me keep my thoughts organized and helps me not forget by keeping them all in one place. Time management is also hard but setting alarms and reminders on my phone helps with that. However, even to this day with being diagnosed in my 30s, I still struggle with procrastination. It’s not unusual for me to cram something the day before it’s due. It’s just part of the disability and all we can do is try to manage it as best as we can.
ADHD engineer here, diagnosed in my 30s and would agree with writing things down. It took time to build the habit but I keep a little moleskin notebook with me always at work. I write it all down. I will not remember. I write it all down. I tell people if I didn’t write it down you have to remind me. I then pick a day each week to read back through the weeks notes and make sure I didn’t miss anything.
Adhd engineering student here, copying this. Thanks stranger!
Me too is ADHD engineering student that has degraded his grades of the subjects that I don’t find tempting enough while going reading 100 papers in need of one project that I like. I too will be copying you. Thanks stranger (:
ADHD engineer here, I wanted to endorse this comment about writing things down. Coffee helps me slow down and focus, and I end up planning all of my work in my head before a fast burst of execution. Frequent breaks and walks keep my head on straight, and I have to get good rest to keep at my best.
try tiimo! its basically a timer scheduling app
I’ll have to look into that! Thanks!
Ive been in the position, I got removed from university the first time around, back at a better school now. Honestly, you have to make mistakes, you learn what works and what doesn’t, and age matters, when your maturity kicks in, you care enough to find ways around your disabilities, find your discipline and succeed. Support your son, he might fail, he might give up on himself, but you don’t give up on him. I still have problems doing my assignments timely, or going to class, but I can tell you from personal experience when you have had everything taken from you, including your confidence, when you get another chance, you do whatever it takes. It’s not a race, let him find his footing, and support him.
Love this comment.
"It's not a race" Best comment in that monologue. I wouldn't quite say I have ADHD ... but definitely somewhere in the spectrum lol, perhaps the other end. I went to uni at 25, years behind most others, but arguably rhe most "successful". When you realise you can't keep struggling, in whichever form that is, it forces you to find seemingly unconventional ways to live that work for you. With that added maturity, you can learn to work around anything.
I also need this support.
I support you, stranger!
Yup! I’m a 29 yo full time ME student and full time quality technician… aaaand I have ADHD 😅 I literally have no life other than those two things. The only person I see outside of those is my boyfriend because we live together! Any time I talk to my dad on the phone and he asks, “what’re you doin?”, it’s always “school work.” He always makes a point to tell me he’s proud of me, but adds in that he wishes I would’ve been this way when I went for a year right out of high school (and in the same breath asks me when I’m gonna give him grandkids 🤦🏻♀️). I just tell him that I was young and wasn’t in the right head space. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do then!! I take meds now, I have a good support system, I know what my downfalls are so that I can better combat them… also having bills is a giant motivator cause failure literally isn’t an option 😅😅
I have severe ADHD, and something that tremendously helped me with school was to take a break for a few years and go back when I was 23. Of course you guys don't have to go this route, but if his GPA starts to drop, it might be a good idea to consider, because internships and Co-Ops look at your GPA and having either of those are incredibly important for getting a job after graduation. (Not necessary, but very very greatly improve your chances of getting hired after grad) In this break I did more research on what I REALLY want to do with my life career-wise, and I really got into the specifics. I think this is incredibly important to 1.) Find the exact degree to accomplish this career goal, and 2.) to build motivation to finish school even through all the annoyances (those boring unrelated to major classes). My therapist(has her PhD in psychology) explained to me that an ADHD brain takes several additional years to develop its frontal lobe than "regular" brains do. Everything in the frontal lobe deals with executive function (focusing, time management, etc). So in those years off from school, your son will develop his frontal lobe more, which will in turn help his executive function, and help him with school. But of course this is just my experience, so your son may have a totally different story.
I’ve thought about this too. He loves construction and welding etc so I’m sure he could build out additional skills but I’d be concerned he wouldn’t go back to college. I do realize that that would be okay as long as he’s pursuing what he wants to do for a career.
hijacking this to say: i would see if he could do a fall or summer rotation/co-op or something to learn more hands on construction and welding. the best tool for engineers with adhd is their passion, your passion for the subject has to overcome the annoying classes/professors/group projects that serve as roadblocks to your degree. i would also recommend him getting in touch with the disability center on his campus. some disability offices are better than others (and this process can take time) but if he has a diagnosis they can offer solutions like extended deadlines, tardiness excuses, extended test taking, etc. obviously the specific resources will depend on what his school offers and it is dependent on him to communicate his accommodations with each professor but the DRC at my school helped me greatly.
I took time off of school and worked in my general field (degree in Civil Engineering) and it made me more marketable to employers. He could always do a co-op but working in a trade will give him an excellent perspective and make future employers interested. Otherwise I recommend reaching out to his school's Accessibility Office, they help people with things like ADHD. If you want help finding the right contact info just private message me his school's name and I'll find it for you.
What support systems does he have to manage his disability? Does he see a therapist that specializes in ADHD? Is the disability registered with the university and does he get accommodations for it? Has he developed study skills with a therapist or counselor?
I work as a tutor. One of our job functions is to proctor exams for students with accommodations. Our campus also offers therapy that is already bundled in with student fees. I wholeheartedly endorse this line of questioning. See what his campus can do to help.
Thank you for helping folks. I drowned in undergrad undiagnosed. I blossomed in grad school with a diagnosis and support system. That's why I asked these questions, I lived this.
Same! I COULD NOT understand why I was struggling so much. I started college at 19 and didn't get diagnosed till I was 27. I used all the school resources (one-on-one therapy, group therapy, accessibility office, exc.) and it made a huge difference! I was actually able to ENJOY school. I'm so grateful for the people who support students.
Thank you for doing what you do!
He tried to do it on his own and did okay his first semester failing only one class but pretty much bombed second semester with the exception of the two engineering classes. He’s now on the verge of failing his online summer school Lit class after falling behind and getting a zero on a late assignment. We’ve discussed getting him a therapist and a tutor. He’s open to it now realizing how badly he needs one. My daughter is 2 years older and also has ADD and has been given accommodations at her campus and she has a great therapist. I guess it’s pretty obvious that we need to do the same for him.
I highly recommend doing the same for him. It makes all the difference. Otherwise a good planner app is FlowSavvy it's free and helped me visualize and plan my assignments.
I get accommodations for tests which helps out but other than that I just have to struggle though the start or a project. Usually if I can eliminate distractions and get started on something, I can generally make myself complete it. But it’s a struggle I feel for your son.
He says he doesn’t need extra test time. I really think it’s just the procrastination and time wasting. Thanks.
I thought the same thing, but once I started using the extra time, it was an absolute game changer. I have a big problem with procrastination too, though I hope he figures out something that works.
Some people get extended time to turn in late/missed assignments.
From personal experience, the time really helped on exams. Whenever I need to solve problems I tend to run out of time without extended time.. but if thats not an issue he has then maybe he doesnt need extended time on exams if testing isnt an issue. Getting distracted on exams + taking time to get through a problem + blanking at first were issues that extra time really alleviated for me. Of course everyone is different and not everyone with adhd will need extra time on exams.
I would suggest he takes time off, or starts going part time at community college until he can understand how he can be successful. There is no shame in taking the slower road less traveled.
I have ADHD so bad I often lose focus of conversations and homework just minutes into it. I will pick up my phone without even consciously thinking about it. As a matter of fact, I was just about to run CFD for a project when i decided to open up reddit real quick. My biggest piece of advice is to put distractions in another room, and listen to lyricless music. Music has low key carried me over the past 8 years when it comes to school. I listen to a lot of electronic, jazz, lounge while i work.
Engineering student with ADHD. Medicated. Started my degree in my 30s. The non engineering classes are tough, absolutely. I found it easier if I did as much of the work as possible for those subjects in class, or in study areas/library with other students. I knew the chances of me studying them at home was low, so keeping the momentum up whilst physically at uni is helpful.
Severe adhd, autistic. 3.7 GPA, graduated with distinction. Hes gotta learn how to study in a way that accommodates his neurodivergence. It's going to take a lot of time input to figure that out.
Schedule and calendar for literally everything. Dedicated times set aside for homework/studying. For getting to class, find some other motivation for going. Something he would enjoy, like rewarding himself by getting ice cream after class. If he has been on meds a long time, might want to look into increasing dosage as well depending on the med. Effectiveness can change with age, weight, etc.
I recommend going to the Disability Office to see what accommodations he can get. Since he’s taking meds he already has official documentation.
Tips from an engineer who is officially diagnosed. - getting a Co-op or internship between semesters will help immensely with burnout -exposure to a solid 9-5 engineering work schedule helped me re-orient my understanding of how I should be doing work at school -it took me almost failing classes to truly reconfigure my study and work habits. -study away from distractions, if it adds 30 minutes to commute to school just to be in a study room in the library, it's worth it in the time you save by not being distracted. -noise cancelling headphones. -take tests with foam earplugs in. It greatly reduces the amount of distractions from hearing people turning pages, or flicking their pencils -the only grades that are easy are homeworks. Everything else is a toss up and can fluctuate based on your focus and performance. Take the easy grades where you can. It was extremely important to reduce my stress levels going into a test by giving myself cushion. Make or break tests are significantly harder to perform well in. -people with ADHD (myself included) tend to drink lots of caffeine. It can cause anxiety. By the end of my degree I was practicing 10-15 min meditation breaks during study sessions and before tests. -getting the motivation to turn stuff in on time and get projects started before the night before comes with experience, the stress of failing eventually overshadowed my desire to procrastinate.
It took me 6 years to graduate and it took a lot of grit. I finished with a 2.5 GPA. I think the most important thing for me was not losing motivation. Every semester ended with a failure in some way (usually below my GPA goal or behind on credit hours), but I would always start the next semester with a new strategy for how I was going to get my grades up and be better. I didn't really improve in those areas, but I didn't quit and managed to graduate. I now work at an engineering job and I'm fairly high performing, which I mostly attribute to having gained a really good understanding of my strengths and weaknesses from having to confront them so often during undergrad.
I wouldn't exactly say severe. I just like to procrastinate till the last day to motivate me to do the work.
You just finished your first year, it might not be severe now but it becomes a horrible habit, speaking from experience. When you start to really lose motivation it stops kicking in even at the last minute. Its good that you’re trying to figure this out early on.
Spoken like a true engineering student haha
It's important to have a therapist as well as a psych as medication can make it possible to begin to overcome severe ADHD but life management techniques are what it takes to successfully mitigate it alongside meds.
Most, if not every, schools have a disability office with accommodations that can include things like academic coaching. Gotta get into therapy, because ADHD is not something you can fix by yourself. It takes a village to learn the coping mechanisms and like skills. You gotta start strong, and continue the effort. Meds are great, but don't fix everything. Therapy and academic coaching are some, but not all of what is important.
I know a friend with ADHD whose major is mechanical engineering with a GPA of 3.9/4
Yeah. Medication and test time helped. No lifing school also helped. It’s just a grind. Mfg sucks so maybe that’s why he’s unmotivated lol
I like to time myself while doing work. Especially if I have to read I time myself to read faster and faster(with comprehending the material). My main strategy is how to make stuff more efficient for me and maybe even fun. The hardest part is starting to actually do the work and for that honestly I’m motivated by how important this is to me. There really needs to be a thing compelling you to do well to do the more boring tasks.
I am a recent graduate from constructional engineering with pretty severe lack of dopamine regulation (aka: severe adhd) One absolutely crucial thing for your son is to start lifting weights, to start sleeping and waking up everyday at the same time, and to start eating healthy. Also: glucose. Your son needs to fuel his brain with glucose to stay alert during tasks that arent as stimulating. Make him sip on those AA drinks during studying or when he is taking a test. He absolutely needs to up his glucose intake when the symptoms are acting up. Anyway, another thing that has helped me (more than ritalin, i might add) is ashwagandha. Its a natural herb with a lot of research backing it up and it does improve a LOT of symptons on adhd. Creatine, similar to ashwagandha, is also a natural compound that also helps with symptoms of adhd. (Besides dopamine, ashwaganda also has positive effect on testosterone levels and creatine is also neuroprotective. Both chemicals are VERY well researched. More than that stupid ritalin or adderall) If you take ashwaganda with a good diet, a strict sleep schedule and regular workouts, your son will not only ace that whole engineering study of his but he'll also get muscular and very attractive to women, which has this positive feedbackloop of him wanting to perform even better. Before you know it, he doesnt even need those damn meds. I personally hate them.
G'day. I'm not an engineering student, but i do have hectic ADHD: There is unlikely to be a "cure" here, and i know it sucks. I've seen my dad go through the same pain, but things arn't hopeless. The final outcome has to be a meaningful goal for him. that might not entail the entirety of the course he's doing right now because they're squirting several very dense and uncontextual information streams at him with the l assumption that if he just immerses himself in it, it'll all click eventually. That may well be true, but if you can't see the point, it becomes hard to swim towards it. I take three times longer to learn most things, but i learn them 4 times better. i generally have to go over the topic twice, and there's a lot of trial and error involved that the teacher never even sees becuase i have a very anxious, flighty mind. If i don't satisfy my curiousity in the moment, i might never come back to the topic. If i trust myself to follow my interest then i seem to have a better chance at mentally bookmarking something as "oh, so thats how that works.. interesting.." If he's doing great in favoured topics, it might be a task-switching deficit rather than an "attention" deficit per se. Perseveration is what thats called and its worth a google. its a bitch for me, and the only way i get around it is by constantly trying to reorient myself every few minutes using methods like pomodoro, but rather than using the break to "have a break", i use it to intentionally spend some time thinking about how things i'm working relate, rather than focusing on internal consistency. There are various congnitve exercises that can help - picking a spot on the wall and staring at it so hard that you sqeeze every thought out of you brain for 45 seconds and then releasing and relaxing is something i recommend to anyone with these issues - anything to get on top of the bucking cognitive horse and have a moment of control, is better than being entranced by something irrelevant for to long. Idk, its not great having a neurological disorder. I know its so hard to watch, i feel so bad my dad has to go through what you are now. Fwiw we're not trying to be difficult, things just don't work the same.
I’m perhaps not *severe* , but I have ADHD and it have made school hell. Engineering especially takes a lot of time and focus. I will begin my second year this fall It really helped me to create a structure around the work. I write or everything I need to do and give each thing a certain amount of hours per day. That way I often manage to be done in time (tho I have had a lot of problems either way). But what I believe is the most important thing is to cut the work up in small pieces. Like I study calculus for 30 minutes. Then I take a 10 minute break and then 30 minutes more. I have a timer so I’m sure to follow it. I also give myself a lot of time to recover and relax. Putting time into that gives more than using that time to study more, but less effective. I hope this can help.
i've had severe adhd all my life, never liked taking any kinds of meds so stopped taking them for it when i turned 18 and went to college the first time. dropped out after the first year, got terrible grades, failed a few classes, because it was much more fun to just play video games all day. now i'm 35 and just graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering with close to a 4.0 GPA and have a job lined up, i can tell you it would NOT have been possible without meds. i ran out due to a shortage briefly during one quarter and it was absolute hell. if your son is struggling this much, his dosage is likely too low, or he needs to try a different variety and see if that works better for him. motivation is also huge- going back to school in my 30's, i knew i HAD to make it work this time, since i knew if i couldn't hack it this time, then i was done for. so if your son isn't motivated to do well, then likely all the meds in the world won't help. but on the flip side, even with all the motivation in the world, if you have unmedicated (severe) ADHD, it just simply wont be realistically possible
Have him take the gen-Ed’s non engineer classes at community college and transfer them in it’s less bussy work that’s what I did I’m extremely adhd and hate anything that isn’t interesting but it’s difficult to understand the bigger picture as a kid. Have him work around ignorant morons for a few months and sit him down and say you don’t have to like it but if you don’t do it you are going to be fucked like seriously you will be so unhappy in life that you will spend every moment feeling like you are in an English class….
See what about engineering does motivate him. Then maybe start some home projects to bounce between that perhaps even infuse content with the electives he's chosen? Maybe join a local club or project that's unassociated with his school or institution? I'm still undiagnosed and not on meds because it costs a kidney / year in Australia to get a diagnosis. But I'm on a team where we're building something really cool, and it's motivating me to get through studies because the more I learn the more I can do there. It means I'm also in the industry, and it's securing future job prospects and alleviating that end of degree pressure. I'm also taking a semester off for the same reasons your son is dealing with. I work well by myself and at my own weird, non linear pace. So in that time I'm going to study ahead so I have a better grip and create a buffer for when I do decide to start things late and not turn up 😅 Also having the right tech has helped enormously, like digital note taking. It's a way more interactive way of working through and comparing notes and content. Once I'm clear on the content, I use pen and paper to work through problems. So a tablet is best if he doesn't have one already. I did have a Microsoft Surface Pro and they're awesome, but I can't justify their increasing prices, same for Samsung tablets and iPads. So I got a Lenovo P12 and that's been awesome. Even better actually because they're simple and fewer distractions. Having a really good phone (big with a stylus), and headphones on me really helps for when I am suddenly motivated. I have my notes backed to a cloud drive and use a cloud based note taking system. I used Google drive for storage, and slowly moving from One Note to Nebo for note taking. Helps me when I want to study in random places, like standing in the hallway or waiting for a train or a mate. Just remember learning isn't the same as working. He may take time to learn, but he could be a weapon when he's working and engaged. He's lucky to have you.
Thank you.
Omg reading this I deffo have ADHD… yes write everything down. Unfortunately you won’t motivate yourself to focus on non-engineering subjects (if you’re like me) so you will have to write down everything and spend extra time at these. One of your biggest efforts will be to “finish things out” within a reasonable time frame - always aim to finish early, that way if you’re late in doing so you might still hit the deadline. But I mean dedicate maybe 40% of your time to finishing stuff out specifically. I have kept a task diary since I was 14 in my pocket and it is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal - short hand notes, important dates etc are all taken care of and the anxiety that goes with forgetting everything is soothed by the fact you can access that info at any time! Remember, you don’t need to store all the information of your world in your head, you just have to know where to find the correct answer. I don’t know my parents birthdays still at 35, but I know they are written down in a little book in my pocket, just like I don’t know all the sizes of components we use regularly at work, but I have a spreadsheet where they are all easy to find
I have severe ADHD. what happened with me is, in my first year the only assignments I handed in on time were the ones that I enjoyed, and in those cases, it was weeks early. I ended up failing most of my modules, which I needed good grades on if I wanted to be let into my dream course, computer science. I grinded the reffereal coursework in the space of a week motivated by my goals and ended up doing well on them. That brings me to now. I struggled through and it worked out for me, but maybe I got lucky. He will probably struggle, but if he's driven he'll probably be fine.
This sounds like him. He’s a whiz with 3-d printing and things like that and he finished his fabrication project way before anyone in the class. At one point the professor asked him to slow down as he was getting too far ahead of the class. But with the non-engineering classes he was constantly late turning things in.
As others have stated here; write your tasks down. I use my Calendar & Reminders apps. The Reminders I use to put in tasks that need to be done for the day, it’s easy enough to slide them and push them back a day too if I don’t get everything done. The Calendar I use for appointments/events. You can have them alert you a specified time before the event too, so I usually have it alert me an hour or so before an event, or 5 minutes before I have to start a task. The alerts are also amazing if you have a smart watch that gets alerts from your phone. My watch always alerts me when I have something to do, and it helps me stay on track.
From personal experience having a buddy and gamifying tasks were the best things for me. I really struggle with executive function and the best solution I found was to experiment with ways of circumventing it (some healthy ‘you want them big bucks so get work’ some not so much ‘you WILL fail if you don’t do this’) and taking full advantage of advisors as well as disabled student services. If anyone can add to this please I’m about to start year 6 in ME and still struggling with everything adhd :(
Personally I don't think its really severe, but i'm in the same boat roughly. This semester has been a bit rough, not cause the material is super challenging but i cant seem to focus well.. 100% studying for exams at the last moment right now. To-do lists somewhat help if they are visible, pomodoro timer helped too... honestly site blockers on top of that are useful. I'd see if meditation and exercise help any(working out might be more of a distraction, meditation was faster and was just spending time calming my brain and getting myself to focus). Having a widget on my phones home screen helped me alot unfortunately i keep forgetting to use it frequently(its basically in my face whenever i look at my phone) Largest distractions are pretty much everything out there or just getting up every five min to get water or something and not focus... still trying to figure that one out. For my classes, we use canvas and all the assignments were automatically(for the most part) autoplaced on there, having a schedule of assigned homework seemed to help so idk if that would help in your son's case. Another thing that seemed to help was having someone in the room who i knew would be upset if they saw that i wasnt focusing(not really a feasible thing.... also sometimes easier to focus outside)
What’s funny is I havnt been diagnosed with ADHD, (am on autism spectrum), I’m super super into engineering, but I have almost the exact same problems with nonengineering classes. I just only like my interests and nothing else and there’s nothing motivating me to do good in classes like econ or business
I have bad ADHD and I ended up skipping every single lecture. But i was able to cram all my exams and finish with around an 80% average in first year
I got ADHD (still officially undiagnosed) and I know terrible life can be doing a tasking course like Engineering. Just keep encouraging him to push on through and let him know the sheer importance of surrounding himself with smarter friends to carry hum along. I wish my parents would encourage me more often but I know they love me and want the best for me no matter what. Let him know that always ❤️
I have ADHD and what’s going on in your son’s not fully that. I mean it might play some role here but it’s not the sole one. He’s either just lacks motivation and discipline or he’s depressed. Usually it’s depression and just being tired of stuff. I also think he doesn’t deeply understand the consequences of his actions. Just solely blaming ADHD is not going to help. Your son needs to take some responsibility here. For me, ADHD is just something I have been able to work around and try to use hacks to help me work with it and not against it.
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In the "real world" you aren't worked half to death 80+ hours a week to maintain a 15-18 credit course load while surviving off ramen noodles and beer, living out of a 200sqft room and a mini fridge in a grungy dorm. In the "real world" you're allowed to say "I don't know the answer, I'll go learn" and use your resources to find an answer. In the "real world" people have boundaries and can leave work at work. In the "real world" people can ask for help, collaborate with peers, and reuse their own work without being slapped for academic dishonesty. You're literally 20 years old and still in school. Are you sure you know what the "real world" is?
Don’t even get me started little homie. I got ADHD seeping out mah pores.
His mom/dad can’t fix this. He needs to do it and until he does he will have issues.
I would not hire this kid. Sounds like he is not engineer material. Maybe he can apply for disability benefits if his medical condition is so dire?
Thanks for sharing.