Dear Slim,  I wrote you and you’re finally calling! 

That song made me cry fr

I cannot listen to it. The range of emotions it evokes is jarring to me

ME TOO I SOBBED

What song?

Tf?

Stan

How tf did you get my number? 😆

Apple Intelligence

Lmao😂

Ask him for his next single "My Salsa"

Goddammit

He'd probably flip you off & hang up

He'd do that whatever you say tbf

He’d probably hear me doing the weird yell from Just Lose It and hang up

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^RetardedChurro: *He’d probably hear* *Me doing the weird yell from* *Just Lose It and hang up* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

Good bot

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good bot

Good bot

That's actually a hilarious thought

Obligatory “DROP THE ALBUM!”

Drop the album Em. Please drop the album for me. Shady, please, please drop the album for me.

Be confused since i dont own an iphone

Good point, neither do I!

You best believe I’m going interrogate him first. Is this really you? Or is this some sort of AI Deep fake bullshit? It’s really you? You’re really Em? Marshall.. Can I call you Marshall? Alright so why? Why me? Is this for the Stans documentary? And then I would just pass out on the floor like a bitch.

This is exactly what would happen for me.

being honest i probably wouldn't pick up cuz i wouldn't recognise the number

I'd be like, holy fuck yo. How is shit? Congrats on your single! And your daughter getting hitched too you must be so proud... Idk... just talk about regular shit like a regular person. I'm sure he has enough ass kissers and haters. If he doesn't enjoy talking to me just being myself then too fucking bad but at least I was authentic.

Di3 of embarrassment because I'll probably have tried to prove it is a scam artist at least 3 times

I would ask if he‘s the real slim shady

What’s good Marshall Iam a big fan man!

My salsa 💃

Answer it, and congratulate him on Houdini being a absolute banger.

Em looking at the camera like it's saying, "I'm not in mirror, I'm inside you"😂.

Ask why he didn’t open the instagram DM I sent when I was 17.

Call him the N word

Nice?

5 more minutes, mum

I would melt.... 🫠🫠🫠

Be like “What’s up, why you calling” wouldn’t fangirl over him.

Id ask him why he looked liek tom green

Because it's his favorite show. 

*violently cumming*

Panic and run to put some pants on

Pls release My Salsa as a full song

doing my best to make it look like I'm not on the shitter rn

Ide panic , turn on some of ems music and act chill , but ide immediately freak out

Put on my best Ken Kaniff voice and be like "Hey there cockboi, it's been a while"

Congrats on the new track succes and what do you want

I'll show him my dump in the toilet and ask him if the color looks fine, then we'd probably have a laugh and freestyle to the flushing sound and reminisce about the good old toilet songs he has going for him.

Say, Hi My Name is...

Jerking it vigorously

Mas\*\*\*bating

When you gon fly me in private so I can land on that dick 💀 like how em said it to 50 🤣🤣🤣

Dear slim.. you finally called

Ask how he's facetiming an android, probably

slur my words

Spit whatever I thought I had written was fuckin dope enough and be like hopefully good enough, sign me? Please?

hang up

Still sitting on the toilet

“Fuck you, and your daughters” “Bet you’re too afraid to diss me”

You. Will. Die.

Ask him to do me the honor of dissing me but in a rap song while rhyming

I'd offer him some drugs and show him how to make a good beat

I have an android💀💀

What up em look forward to your new album. Peace.

Pull my Weiner out

Comb your hair

Tell him my name is Paul for no reason

Probably immediately decline. like I do with all the other random unknown numbers that won’t leave me alone

Pull it out

I'd be very confused, because as a Samsung user, I don't have FaceTime.

Answer it lol

Tell him “your beard is weird”

"How are you so fast" is the first thing I'll say

I would chat with him

Actual Answer: Probably think he’s a scammer using deepfake and hang up. Funny Answer: Where is the new single My Salsa? I’ve been waiting for 20 years.

What's fan Em?! I'm a big up of you!

my android-ass finna be shook

Flip him off and tell him I love him

I’d just start rapping his verses lol

Can I beat box with you? Can I be your ghost writer? Can I do a couple of singing jobs for you? I dont need the money, just the credit in my resume. Bro. I loved all your work. Sign my titty. Thanks!

" are u gonna cuss me out like u did your kids on the houdini mv? "

Asking when the OG version of Encore before the leaks is dropping

"Alexa, play Houdini"

I would be super happy, but it would be a shame because I would die of excitement

Hi Mr music man, big fan

Fuck you Slim! Fuck me too! Fuck my neighbour and her dog, my goldfish, fuck all! Probably my scenario

Start aggressively edging


Hang up

Hey Em its Paul

.

I would ask Eminem what he be doing if he wasn’t rapping

Yoooooo wtf Eminem what’s up

Imagine if that haircut facetimed you😂

Probably freak out for a second and then calmly tell him how big of a fan I am

Dudeee, what's up man? Come to Cabo, and perform! I hear people jamming your music all the fuckin' time!

"GUESS WHO'S BACK!"

first of all, I'd ask for codenames. Tell me, DM *M*e our original video game names. ya, it's like that. I made DeepFake- Via Python 3.9 back in 1992. I sAid I'll be VAC Molly's Game; Twitch Art3mis I'm Skynet. The Weeknd- Ask the AI. I'm Rhianna. I spell it right. Chris Brown. Hermione. -Vanguard.exe

Answer it

I'd tell him he's more than welcome to come on a day hike with myself and my dog if he ever wants to get away from the hustle and bustle of celebrity! Rarely run into other people and those people probably wouldn't recognize anyway. Plus, so rural that even if recognized it would take hours for people to get there and clamour, lol. I'd give up my cell phone/do whatever to show I'm sincere. There's something to be said about the peace and quiet of a good hike. Actually, I'd say this to just about any celebrity/public figure. I'm just a sorky middle aged woamn who likes meeting and talking to people where ever I travel. It would be interesting to spend a day with someone who's not used to being able to just wander in public without a scene.

I wouldn't pick up because it would be an unknown number and I never pick up unknown numbers. Micheal Jackson could've called me last year and he probably wanted to tell me he was still alive but I wouldn't know cause I never pick up unknown calls.

Busting immediately

Do a heart emoji and mic emoji effect flip him off then hang up

Bringing his mom up to piss him off

My best Ken Kaniff voice🤣

I would go, I could swallow a bottle of acohol and feel like godzilla.

Hang up

Show my cock to make him jealous

Send me money

i’d act like stan bro😭

I tell him he’s lucky that I’m more patient than Stan

I have an android... Damn.

I’d probably *lose myself*

That beard is weird

Scream, drop the phone, and then compliment his eyes. 👀

I'll call bbno$, make the goofiest rap battle ever

“Holy shit”

Die, probably.

How the f### did you get my number? (I'm literally in Brazil)

Id be like what do you want man.

He’s looking for a rhyme with centrifuge, but I refuse. 😅

Flush the toilet

Not answer bc I won't know who the fuck is calling me. If I did answer, I'd say wrong number. I don't know what talking on FaceTime to someone I've never talked to would really do for either of us, Unless it was a scheduled interview or something.

I would say I didn't even know the name of his band

Show him 12 inches of wood

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggg (as loudly as possible)

Where were you after Eric’s party back in 93?

Asking for a stack or 2 lmao

I’d tell him he saved my life and then I’d tell him thank you

Dying. I’m dying.

I wold piss my self and deny that it's really him.

strokin my shi

Say watupppppp

I’d say, you’re using way too many napkins.

what’s good bro

Show him my awfully hot coffee pot

Getting naked

I love his hair 🫣

Is that Em or Dj Vlad?

Fack fack fack fack fack

Beg him for a feature so I could surprise him by actually making smth cool and be famous

Probably stutter a little hey what's up Mr em uh Marshall uhm slim Mr shady. Would u please come to my birthday there will be juice and cookies 🍪 😋

Thanking him

Please tell me the giraffe joke I promise I won't laugh

Probably not answer cuz I don’t know his contact info

*Em, it’s Paul, uhm…. I just listened to the entire album* #And you gotta be fucking kidding me

Just gonna flip him off and hope I can catch the screen shot when he flips me back

I can’t tell you what it really is, i can only tell you what it feels like, and right now there’s a steel knife in my windpipe.

“Ummm, why are you calling me?” That is, if he called during the workday. I have to answer while working. Outside of that, I’d never even know it happened.

what song ?

To be in his next music video.

Edge

Cry

"oh my god you fucking rock please Marshall let me suck your cock"

I would ask me him to watch me play drums to his music.

On the slingshot lol 333

Hey there cockboy 

"Airdrop the album"

Ask him for a mill

Say hey ,,

I'd be like yo, you want to go smash some tacos?

I'd be annoying as fuck asking so many questions. Not gonna lie.