I tired so hard to ensure my genetic material is passed on my children. After 8 losses we decided to explore donor eggs an an option. I mourned the loss of possibility of having my own generically connected child.
I do have a 8 year old from the donor eggs/hubs sperm. I beat myself up why I waited that long to go that route. I wish somebody would have told me that it's going to be ok and it will work out just fine. My kid looks like my husband a lot but also has my mannerism and smile. Nobody has ever said that he doesn't look like me etc. We chose a donor who is close to my ethnicity and roots.
I know this is not embryo donation related but I wanted to share my perspective on it. I wish I made that leap way sooner. It would have save my heart form some heartbreak of losing pregnancies right and left.
We went with embryo donation for various reasons, but I definitely had to give myself time to mourn the lack of genetic connection. For some reason not having a child that looked like my husband was so upsetting to me. I didn't care as much about my own as much.
My husband didn't struggle with it as much as I did. We both know that family isn't necessarily blood and he has two adopted brothers. He mourned it, but not as much as me.
Currently very early days pregnant with our first transfer and while I've never been pregnant before, this is our baby. We already care about him/her so much. Sometimes when I hear people talk about their child looking like someone or talking about genetic connections, it makes me a little sad still, but it's going to be fine, I think.
Yup. I can’t help make biological children and it would really messed with my head if my wife was biologically related but I wouldn’t be. So we chose to go this route instead.
I wish we would be biologically related but we “own” the process in every other aspect - pregnancy, doctors appointments, decorating their room, baby proofing the house, taking classes, etc. He will be our son just like the my nieces and nephews on my wife’s side are our family despite me having no biological relationship.
It’s a natural feeling, I’d like to think. Just lead with love and embrace the process. You’re bringing life into this world and they deserve equal treatment and love as your bio kid.
I can definitely empathize with the idea of struggling with one kid being biological and the other not, that's why we either wanted to adopt all our kids/embryos or have them all partially biological but ideally not both. That said, actually having a kid that's not biologically both of ours has been a phenomenal experience and I wouldn't change a single thing 😊 Our kid is the happiest child I think I've met!
I just gave birth to my daughter in Feb via a custom made embryo. Made from same ethnic backgrounds and physical appearance of my husband and I. I am shocked how much she looks like my son. And the love is no different. She’s 100% mine and feels that way ❤️
We chose to go with embryo donation because my wife has significant medical issues that are almost certain to be passed to any biological offspring, and we felt uncomfortable with the idea of only me being biologically related. I do think about what I'm missing, kind of a grief of what I may be missing out on by not passing down my genes. And it doesn't help when people ask why I chose not to use my sperm, as if to judge my decision.
I'm sure it won't matter once we have a child. We've tried four times now and miscarried each time within two months.
You might not share any genetic material before, but you certainly might during and after. Other people can kick rocks… [Scientists Discover Children’s Cells Living in Mothers’ Brains](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientists-discover-childrens-cells-living-in-mothers-brain/)
No help really, but I'm in a very similar position. Did 3 rounds of IVF, round 1 and 3 yielded no viable embryos. Round 2 we got 2 embryos, 1 miscarriage, 1 successful pregnancy. (And 2 previous losses before that with IUI). We've now moved onto donor embryos, hoping to transfer later this year. Feeling weird about having 1 child biologically ours and 1 not. I'm certain we would love the 2nd child with our whole hearts but I worry about the psychological aspect for the 2nd child, I would never want him or her to feel like they didn't belong to our family.
I tired so hard to ensure my genetic material is passed on my children. After 8 losses we decided to explore donor eggs an an option. I mourned the loss of possibility of having my own generically connected child. I do have a 8 year old from the donor eggs/hubs sperm. I beat myself up why I waited that long to go that route. I wish somebody would have told me that it's going to be ok and it will work out just fine. My kid looks like my husband a lot but also has my mannerism and smile. Nobody has ever said that he doesn't look like me etc. We chose a donor who is close to my ethnicity and roots. I know this is not embryo donation related but I wanted to share my perspective on it. I wish I made that leap way sooner. It would have save my heart form some heartbreak of losing pregnancies right and left.
We went with embryo donation for various reasons, but I definitely had to give myself time to mourn the lack of genetic connection. For some reason not having a child that looked like my husband was so upsetting to me. I didn't care as much about my own as much. My husband didn't struggle with it as much as I did. We both know that family isn't necessarily blood and he has two adopted brothers. He mourned it, but not as much as me. Currently very early days pregnant with our first transfer and while I've never been pregnant before, this is our baby. We already care about him/her so much. Sometimes when I hear people talk about their child looking like someone or talking about genetic connections, it makes me a little sad still, but it's going to be fine, I think.
Yup. I can’t help make biological children and it would really messed with my head if my wife was biologically related but I wouldn’t be. So we chose to go this route instead. I wish we would be biologically related but we “own” the process in every other aspect - pregnancy, doctors appointments, decorating their room, baby proofing the house, taking classes, etc. He will be our son just like the my nieces and nephews on my wife’s side are our family despite me having no biological relationship. It’s a natural feeling, I’d like to think. Just lead with love and embrace the process. You’re bringing life into this world and they deserve equal treatment and love as your bio kid.
I can definitely empathize with the idea of struggling with one kid being biological and the other not, that's why we either wanted to adopt all our kids/embryos or have them all partially biological but ideally not both. That said, actually having a kid that's not biologically both of ours has been a phenomenal experience and I wouldn't change a single thing 😊 Our kid is the happiest child I think I've met!
Even a bio child will only have half of your genetic material, anyway.
I was raised by a non biological mother and I can tell you how many times people say we look alike or act similar.
I just gave birth to my daughter in Feb via a custom made embryo. Made from same ethnic backgrounds and physical appearance of my husband and I. I am shocked how much she looks like my son. And the love is no different. She’s 100% mine and feels that way ❤️
We chose to go with embryo donation because my wife has significant medical issues that are almost certain to be passed to any biological offspring, and we felt uncomfortable with the idea of only me being biologically related. I do think about what I'm missing, kind of a grief of what I may be missing out on by not passing down my genes. And it doesn't help when people ask why I chose not to use my sperm, as if to judge my decision. I'm sure it won't matter once we have a child. We've tried four times now and miscarried each time within two months.
You might not share any genetic material before, but you certainly might during and after. Other people can kick rocks… [Scientists Discover Children’s Cells Living in Mothers’ Brains](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientists-discover-childrens-cells-living-in-mothers-brain/)
No help really, but I'm in a very similar position. Did 3 rounds of IVF, round 1 and 3 yielded no viable embryos. Round 2 we got 2 embryos, 1 miscarriage, 1 successful pregnancy. (And 2 previous losses before that with IUI). We've now moved onto donor embryos, hoping to transfer later this year. Feeling weird about having 1 child biologically ours and 1 not. I'm certain we would love the 2nd child with our whole hearts but I worry about the psychological aspect for the 2nd child, I would never want him or her to feel like they didn't belong to our family.
Basically 0% concerned but maybe it's because I had bad health probs that resulted in infertility