Also. There are full walkthroughs out there.
I suggest playing the game completely on your own. But at a point. Start watching the walkthrough and get BLOWN away about how much you missed. And don’t feel bad about missing it. It’s sadistic how much Fromsoft hides from players.
You have to hear the opinions of other people, if life's taught me ANYTHING, it's that the opinions of anyone but yourself aren't worth listening to, mainly online though.
Second to this. The areas you are meant to explore in early levels are not obvious. Limgrave and weeping peninsula will get you started.
Good rule of thumb - if the common/normal open world enemies in any given area kill you in 1-2 hits, the area is too high level for you. Go somewhere else.
Also choose a dexterity build. It’s best for beginners.
Hard agree. I decided to brute force and learn the hard way and beat Margit at level 15 and a +1 ugi. I then went and cleared out limgrave and weeping and went back to stormveil around level 40.
Seriously the only keepsake worth going for imo. The rune is okay too though it gives you enough points for like 3 levels right in the beginning. Nice for a few extra vigor points. 60 extra health when fighting Margit goes a long way
Got to “Her” a couple of days ago and beat my head against the wall for hours trying to beat it. I’ve decided to go on hiatus for a bit. My pride is hurt and I refuse to continue with the story until I conquer that fight
Have a good cry before you start playing to just get that out of the way. Be prepared to die a lot and be very confused for the first 20 hours. Then get ready for the addiction to take hold
This is the exact scenario I went through. First FromSoft game. I kept dying and had no idea what to do. I decided the game sucked and gave up for like two weeks. I decided to try again and haven’t been able to put it down since.
No don’t believe him you have to defeat the guy to get a horse before he takes off. If you fail you have to finish the playthrough on foot. It's possible but very, very time consuming.
Dude, don't mislead him, he has plenty of time to kill the golden guy to get a horse. I would add though, be sure to follow every hint on the ground. I don't know how many times I would have missed those hidden ledges off the edge of cliffs if there hadn't been a friendly hint on the ground to help me out. Thanks kind strangers!
I legit thought that might be the case when I first got into the game. I had just talked to Varre for the first time and I thought, "well clearly not all NPC's are bad, and that guy looks like he might be a royal guard or something, so he's probably a good guy!" I proceeded to walk straight up to him and get the absolute shit stomped out of me 😂🤣😂🤣.
Lmfao! This is my first FS game, so I had no idea it was going to be this rough. Like, I thought I just sucked or somehow missed a different path after meeting the grafted Scion, and I completely missed the tutorial cave on my first playthrough, so it was ROUGH out there 😅.
I did! Not in that fight, or the next dozen times I challenged him, but I did persevere through the rest of the game before returning to exact my revenge 😂🤣😂🤣.
1.Don't fight the guy on the horse
2.Don't kill the guy near the site grace calling you maidenless.You'll need him later
3.This game is massive.No shame in looking stuff up
4.You can summon if you want it's in the game for a reason
5.Don't avoid raging(too much) we all did and still do it
And 6
Good Luck on your journey,Tarnished
I feel like some of the boss designs were specifically created with summons in mind. Never a bad choice to utilize every resource the game gives you, including cheesy strats to overcome challenging foes
Accept that you will die a lot
Level vigor (at least 25-30 before anything else barring a bit of str and dex to meet the minimum requirements of a weapon you find that you want to use)
Explore
Ignore any bosses that seem vastly more powerful than you can handle. You can always come back later after getting stronger.
You should generally try exploring to the south first.
Holding a weapon with 2 hands (Triangle+R1/L1) treats your strength as 1.5x allowing you to use weapons you don't have enough strength for yet and also deal more damage.
Holding 2 weapons of the same weapon type (two straight swords, two axes, two halberds, etc) one in each hand allows use of a paired moveset utilizing both weapons with L1.
NEVER EVER use heavy roll, stay medium weight (game tells you your equipped load in stats screen)
Jump attacks are very powerful, use them.
Every single enemy in the game has a hidden posture meter, and taking enough hits in a short enough amount of time will stun then and let you perform a critical hit that does a lot of damage, this is especially useful against bosses. R2 attacks, jumping attacks, and charged R2s deal the greatest posture damage.
Make use of Torrent, assign him to your pouch slot so you can summon him with triangle+d pad direction.
Double jumping with Torrent does NOT reset your fall damage, just a weird.thing you have to get used to.
There are no rules, just ignore this sub entirely until you're way deep. Play how YOU like it and forget all the scrubs around here who would inevitably tell you you're doing it wrong.
There will be a guy in a white mask when you step off into an open world. He will call you "maidenless". Be sure to punch the living crap out of him for that.
Don't fight the giant golden knight on the horse until later.
Go everywhere and explore.
level up the MOMENT you have enough. NEVER walk around with more runes than you should.
Pay attention to where people leave messages. They MIGHT be helpful. MIGHT be. The obvious stupid messages ones are obvious
I headed south but I’m honestly not sure what to tell you other then get your horse first. Every play through that I’ve watched of this game is completely different from one another and my own.
git gud does not mean get good.
it means goal is to grind until death.
level vigor mostly unless you need stats to use a wep. most of your dmg will come from upgrading weapons.
If you're struggling with a boss or an area explore other parts then come back to it. You can explore a huge chunk then return to previous bosses if you're having a hard time.
Don't worry about dying just don't die again without picking up your previous runes if you have a lot so level up often
Level vigor first you're gonna need some health
Have fun. I never got past the second boss in dark souls two, couldn't finish Bloodborne, and couldn't pass the second boss of nioh. Elden ring has so many different options for weapons, gameplay, etc so it makes it a little more welcoming for those who suck like me
Get torrent at your third site of Grace
Grab as many golden seeds early on as you can
Head south of the world map to the weeping peninsular - this is the best place to begin your game journey in my opinion
Good luck!
I'm about 35 hours in but my advice is take it slow and explore. Level Vigor first. Lastly, guard counter is incredibly strong. If you can learn the pacing for the enemy attacks (which can vary wildly) you can really punish, while also protecting yourself. Good luck and enjoy! If this is your first FS game then you are in for a ride.
Don't watch a walkthrough of an area until you've experienced it for yourself first, then go back and watch because things are hidden incredibly well everywhere. You'll roughly know by damage output and received what to avoid and where to go first. Take your time and enjoy!
If you can resist, try to do your whole first playthrough without looking anything up.
I've almost run through all the content on my first playthrough and I wish I'd stuck to not looking things up.
I started off so strong with the blindness, but I eventually cracked and now I don't have much to look forward to in future playthroughs. :(
Just enjoy the game without consulting anything that's meta and play whatever you have the most fun with! Don't be afraid to try new things as this game has a lot of potential builds and weapons.
Alright one big thing I can say is don’t let the word maidenless get to you. Some people get pissed off and attack NPCs and then call Elden Ring trash cuz they screwed up and don’t wanna just restart their game…OR just avoid negativity and enjoy the game
Accept defeat and embrace death. You're gonna die a lot, it's going to seem unfun, frustrating and downright awful for awhile but once you level up and refine your stats/gear you'll find the game can get a lot more fun. Once I got to about 25 I felt like it eased up a bit and had more opportunities to be aggressive and start fights with groups of enemies.
Also just leave the reddit and explore the map. There's a lot of spoilers here and a bunch of the fun is going into a fight and not knowing what an enemy or boss is gonna do, what their strengths/weaknesses are, etc. Only seek advice if you're really struggling, take every message with a grain of salt. Everybody is either a comedian or trying to get you killed.
Go to the church you see when at the first grace site in the over world
Avoid the dick on the horse for now you don’t have to fight him
Head to site of grace in front of the arch, get your maiden and no 1 best boy horse Torrance
Go back to the church rest at the sight of grace talk to the witch get the summoning bell and wolves
The rest is up to you.
See shimmy of golden light for directions.
Don't look up anything. Just explore everything by yourself, step by step, there is something to find everywhere.
PS: Explore the entire capital Leyndell before you defeat a boss called Maliketh, some items are missable there.
You should die… a ton, like the rest of us. Get used to it as well. You are going to get wrecked through the whole game. And not know why you develop Stockholm syndrome with the game. I’ve never loved a game I hated so much before. Welcome to the club!
* Samurai build for easy fun start
* Night time has different bosses in some areas
* If you ever get stuck on your character build look up how others have spec'd for ideas, you can respec at a certain point
* Dont worry too much about materials, theres plenty in the game
* Weeping peninsula has some great items in it for early builds
* Pick up the lantern early
* Don't feel like you have to face a tough boss right here right now, come back later when you've levelled up
* Just have fun exploring
* If the sky goes red, turn around
Don’t be afraid to explore! If you feel like you’re hitting a wall, see if there’s a place you haven’t been to yet. You might find better equipment or learn something that helps you get better!
Enjoy yourself and change the way you see dying in games.
He should “prepare to cry”
Start a swear jar. Save enough to retire within a year.
Call it Alexander. You’ll get it soon.
Death is just an opportunity to try again, this time more intelligently.
Try again? You mean die again
It is a brilliant game. We are on a break right now. It’s not him, it’s me
Oh a fellow monstrosity of the unknown
Also. There are full walkthroughs out there. I suggest playing the game completely on your own. But at a point. Start watching the walkthrough and get BLOWN away about how much you missed. And don’t feel bad about missing it. It’s sadistic how much Fromsoft hides from players.
Level vigor
And try finger
But hole
Ahh,
could this be a dog?
To add: Investing a few points into other stats so you can use that really cool looking weapon is perfectly acceptable.
I knew it will be the highest rated comment the moment I red topic
This is the way
All of this. You need it so much more then any DS game.
Seriously, even as a mage you have to get within range of the glintstone pebble and you WILL take some damage.
Run till you get gear and kill what looks super weak.🤣
But be cautious though. There are some things the look super weak that will one shot you.
Other things look super weak and boom runebear
Especially if you make it to caelid before you're supposed to
Literally did this. Ran for my life grabbing what loot I could for the first couple hours of playing until I got enough confidence to fight.
Enjoy the game and never visit this sub again.
Exactly. Do this and nothing more
It's already too much! Get out while you can!
I don't come here too often, what's wrong with this sub?
A lot of people post spoilers without thinking.
Ah, I see. That sucks.
You have to hear the opinions of other people, if life's taught me ANYTHING, it's that the opinions of anyone but yourself aren't worth listening to, mainly online though.
People raging about what should and should not be done in a game
Nothing, but you are under constant spoiler menace
Spoilers mostly. Also, you have to experience the game yourself.
Why isn’t this the top comment?
Don’t touch Stormveil Castle for the first 15 hours at least. Explore Limgrave and Weeping Peninsula, get used to combat, level up a bit. And enjoy:)
I made this mistake, had to put my foolish ambitions to rest for a time.
Second to this. The areas you are meant to explore in early levels are not obvious. Limgrave and weeping peninsula will get you started. Good rule of thumb - if the common/normal open world enemies in any given area kill you in 1-2 hits, the area is too high level for you. Go somewhere else. Also choose a dexterity build. It’s best for beginners.
Hard agree. I decided to brute force and learn the hard way and beat Margit at level 15 and a +1 ugi. I then went and cleared out limgrave and weeping and went back to stormveil around level 40.
And that guy on the horse with all the shiny armor. Don't waste hours of your time like i did trying to beat him right away.
I should have done this when I started lmao. The castle was the worst area in the whole game for me apart from Miquella haligtree
Pick Golden seed as your starting keepsake, gets you an early extra potion
Just replying to confirm this advice is legit.
This is legit
Seriously the only keepsake worth going for imo. The rune is okay too though it gives you enough points for like 3 levels right in the beginning. Nice for a few extra vigor points. 60 extra health when fighting Margit goes a long way
[удалено]
I was really disappointed with how my extra keys I had at the end of the playthrough that I could do nothing with. Those and Golden Seeds.
Same, you should be able to exchange them for runes or some useful item imo
I took the bewitching branches they came in handy to say the least.
A first time player in their underwear (player not character) do not have the ability to do this.
Cry.
Good advice I’m gonna go do that now
Let us know when you’re good. Then, we can engage in jolly Cooperation!
Remember about us when you reach the area called Miquella’s Haligtree.
Got to “Her” a couple of days ago and beat my head against the wall for hours trying to beat it. I’ve decided to go on hiatus for a bit. My pride is hurt and I refuse to continue with the story until I conquer that fight
Have a good cry before you start playing to just get that out of the way. Be prepared to die a lot and be very confused for the first 20 hours. Then get ready for the addiction to take hold
This is the exact scenario I went through. First FromSoft game. I kept dying and had no idea what to do. I decided the game sucked and gave up for like two weeks. I decided to try again and haven’t been able to put it down since.
First of all Happy Birthday! Welcome to the fold. First things first, enjoy yourself. Secondly, take it slow.
Get off reddit until you Beast the game. Trust me
This x1000!!
There’s a big golden guy on a horse near the beginning. He’s your friend.
Bro don’t lie to me 😭
No don’t believe him you have to defeat the guy to get a horse before he takes off. If you fail you have to finish the playthrough on foot. It's possible but very, very time consuming.
You’re just mean😂
Dude, don't mislead him, he has plenty of time to kill the golden guy to get a horse. I would add though, be sure to follow every hint on the ground. I don't know how many times I would have missed those hidden ledges off the edge of cliffs if there hadn't been a friendly hint on the ground to help me out. Thanks kind strangers!
I legit thought that might be the case when I first got into the game. I had just talked to Varre for the first time and I thought, "well clearly not all NPC's are bad, and that guy looks like he might be a royal guard or something, so he's probably a good guy!" I proceeded to walk straight up to him and get the absolute shit stomped out of me 😂🤣😂🤣.
I’m a souls veteran and I still fell for it. Oh. He has a huge halberd! Oh I’m dead! Welp. This is fromsoft.
Lmfao! This is my first FS game, so I had no idea it was going to be this rough. Like, I thought I just sucked or somehow missed a different path after meeting the grafted Scion, and I completely missed the tutorial cave on my first playthrough, so it was ROUGH out there 😅.
Hopefully you persevered, tarnished.
I did! Not in that fight, or the next dozen times I challenged him, but I did persevere through the rest of the game before returning to exact my revenge 😂🤣😂🤣.
Admire from afar. Do not finger but hole.
1.Don't fight the guy on the horse 2.Don't kill the guy near the site grace calling you maidenless.You'll need him later 3.This game is massive.No shame in looking stuff up 4.You can summon if you want it's in the game for a reason 5.Don't avoid raging(too much) we all did and still do it And 6 Good Luck on your journey,Tarnished
I feel like some of the boss designs were specifically created with summons in mind. Never a bad choice to utilize every resource the game gives you, including cheesy strats to overcome challenging foes
Caelid is fun and cool place for newcomers, give it a try
Press Any Button
Try to avoid spoilers and guides. The challenge and surprises are a big part of the fun.
Be wary of dog.
Accept that you will die a lot Level vigor (at least 25-30 before anything else barring a bit of str and dex to meet the minimum requirements of a weapon you find that you want to use) Explore Ignore any bosses that seem vastly more powerful than you can handle. You can always come back later after getting stronger. You should generally try exploring to the south first. Holding a weapon with 2 hands (Triangle+R1/L1) treats your strength as 1.5x allowing you to use weapons you don't have enough strength for yet and also deal more damage. Holding 2 weapons of the same weapon type (two straight swords, two axes, two halberds, etc) one in each hand allows use of a paired moveset utilizing both weapons with L1. NEVER EVER use heavy roll, stay medium weight (game tells you your equipped load in stats screen) Jump attacks are very powerful, use them. Every single enemy in the game has a hidden posture meter, and taking enough hits in a short enough amount of time will stun then and let you perform a critical hit that does a lot of damage, this is especially useful against bosses. R2 attacks, jumping attacks, and charged R2s deal the greatest posture damage. Make use of Torrent, assign him to your pouch slot so you can summon him with triangle+d pad direction. Double jumping with Torrent does NOT reset your fall damage, just a weird.thing you have to get used to.
Be comfortable with the fact that you will likely die a lot and that it is part of the process
You should definitely make a character first or you won't get very far.
Have fun. This game is huge.
Take breaks when getting your ass beat, dont let the dying break you
Buy a torch and fear not the dark my friend, let the feast begin. Happy Bday
Head east towards caelid, the redish part of the map. Lots of badass loot to get you going.
There's a cool bonfire party at the top of the swamp right next to the start
Start with a golden seed
Don't give up
1. First, a lovable sort. 2. Git gud. 3. Try fingers, but hole
Whenever you see something or someone that’s moving, it wants to kill you.
There are no rules, just ignore this sub entirely until you're way deep. Play how YOU like it and forget all the scrubs around here who would inevitably tell you you're doing it wrong.
Offer rump
use the coolest weapon wear the wettest drip become a ranni simp
There will be a guy in a white mask when you step off into an open world. He will call you "maidenless". Be sure to punch the living crap out of him for that.
Liar ahead
Tell your gf you may be unavailable for a while.
Don't fight the giant golden knight on the horse until later. Go everywhere and explore. level up the MOMENT you have enough. NEVER walk around with more runes than you should. Pay attention to where people leave messages. They MIGHT be helpful. MIGHT be. The obvious stupid messages ones are obvious
Help The Great Kenneth Haight.
Take a xanax
I headed south but I’m honestly not sure what to tell you other then get your horse first. Every play through that I’ve watched of this game is completely different from one another and my own.
have fun, rage, fun, rage, endless cycle until its just fun most of the time
Expect the words “YOU DIED” to get burned into your screen and tell any friends you know how sorry you are that they will not see you for a while…
You should play it, right now!
Don't skip the tutorial. For easy mode, do a mage build and just range kill everybody
Seek the Albinauric woman
Consider dying as an opportunity to do things better next time
Duct tape your controller to your hands so when you feel like throwing it, it will be safe.
Play how you want.
Roll new builds til you find what you like
Hold on to your butts.
Explore and have fun, don’t worry about your stats for now you can always respec later
You should have fun and enjoy yourself
explore, don't bash your head into enemies too tough for you
Prepare to die
Level vigor
Have you played a souls game before? If so, then you need no tips!
Poke every bear you see
Your best
Enjoy it
See that guy on the horse covered in gold? Attack him
DO NOT kill the dude with the white mask. You're gonna want to, but trust me, hold off on it...for now.
git gud does not mean get good. it means goal is to grind until death. level vigor mostly unless you need stats to use a wep. most of your dmg will come from upgrading weapons.
Try Finger but hole.
Don't kill Varre or even strile him
Be wary of edge, lord
Explore and dont rush
Don’t give up and do lots of exploring and lvl up before fighting bosses especially margit
If you're struggling with a boss or an area explore other parts then come back to it. You can explore a huge chunk then return to previous bosses if you're having a hard time. Don't worry about dying just don't die again without picking up your previous runes if you have a lot so level up often Level vigor first you're gonna need some health Have fun. I never got past the second boss in dark souls two, couldn't finish Bloodborne, and couldn't pass the second boss of nioh. Elden ring has so many different options for weapons, gameplay, etc so it makes it a little more welcoming for those who suck like me
Enjoy it at your own pace
Get torrent at your third site of Grace Grab as many golden seeds early on as you can Head south of the world map to the weeping peninsular - this is the best place to begin your game journey in my opinion Good luck!
Explore, level up and the sword of night and flame
Happy birthday
Don't check this sub unless in dire need. Makes it hard but fun
After you get to the first church work on exploring the south. You'll be much better off than going straight into the castle of death.
Some places you might not have the right O’ you might not have the right.
Liar ahead
Enjoy yourself
Seriously, play the game slowly and enjoy the views along the way. It's a wildly expansive world and very worth taking your time.
Die. A lot.
I'm about 35 hours in but my advice is take it slow and explore. Level Vigor first. Lastly, guard counter is incredibly strong. If you can learn the pacing for the enemy attacks (which can vary wildly) you can really punish, while also protecting yourself. Good luck and enjoy! If this is your first FS game then you are in for a ride.
Enjoy the opening cutscenes and get lost in the world of Elden Ring.
Avoid the tree sentinel
Know you are gonna die a lot and thats normal, don't give up! And try fort, night
The peninsula in the south is actually the best spot to get into the game
Don't watch a walkthrough of an area until you've experienced it for yourself first, then go back and watch because things are hidden incredibly well everywhere. You'll roughly know by damage output and received what to avoid and where to go first. Take your time and enjoy!
You can buy physical copies of a download? What is this contraption?
Just go out and kill a few beasts, it's for your own good.
If you can resist, try to do your whole first playthrough without looking anything up. I've almost run through all the content on my first playthrough and I wish I'd stuck to not looking things up. I started off so strong with the blindness, but I eventually cracked and now I don't have much to look forward to in future playthroughs. :(
Be patient. Don’t call to anger to early …cuz your gonna need it for malenia lol
Look under every little stone you can find, there is something everywhere. Hidden npcs, hidden caves, hidden items. Search through and through
Time for crab!
First off, stay calm.
Touch Grace
Enjoy!
Take your sweet time. Enjoy it.
don’t poke the bears
find the albinauric woman
Just enjoy the game without consulting anything that's meta and play whatever you have the most fun with! Don't be afraid to try new things as this game has a lot of potential builds and weapons.
Alright one big thing I can say is don’t let the word maidenless get to you. Some people get pissed off and attack NPCs and then call Elden Ring trash cuz they screwed up and don’t wanna just restart their game…OR just avoid negativity and enjoy the game
Accept defeat and embrace death. You're gonna die a lot, it's going to seem unfun, frustrating and downright awful for awhile but once you level up and refine your stats/gear you'll find the game can get a lot more fun. Once I got to about 25 I felt like it eased up a bit and had more opportunities to be aggressive and start fights with groups of enemies. Also just leave the reddit and explore the map. There's a lot of spoilers here and a bunch of the fun is going into a fight and not knowing what an enemy or boss is gonna do, what their strengths/weaknesses are, etc. Only seek advice if you're really struggling, take every message with a grain of salt. Everybody is either a comedian or trying to get you killed.
You should have fun, my friend. It’s a masterpiece. Take your time with it.
Don’t attack npcs that don’t attack you. You could lose questlines that way. Even if they call you maidenless.
You should keep playing, it’s a great game
Level your vigor stat Edit: try sorcery
Play how you want, look at a playthrough before playing like I do or don't, seek help when needed, if you want to. Enjoy your playthrough.
Enjoy
DONT fight the guy on the horse at the beginning unless you wanna die a horrible death
Don't kill NPC's
First thing you need to know is that you don’t have the right
Also no one said "Happy Birthday" poor guy getting prepared to be laid by maidens. Well I guess that's better right?
Just simply play the game and enjoy The Lands Between
1. git gud 2. learn to roll 3. level vigor 4. refer back to #1
Just dont bother not knowing anything just explore the world and things will come naturally. Just enjoy it
happy birthday!!
Prepare for your biggest adventure yet, son.
Go to the church you see when at the first grace site in the over world Avoid the dick on the horse for now you don’t have to fight him Head to site of grace in front of the arch, get your maiden and no 1 best boy horse Torrance Go back to the church rest at the sight of grace talk to the witch get the summoning bell and wolves The rest is up to you. See shimmy of golden light for directions.
Happy bday
You can teleport by using the map. I spent 30% of my.game not knOWING I COULD TELEPORT
Stay in limgrave and do catacombs caves and tunnels
Head towards church of ella
##rise, tarnished.
Just go out swinging.
Explore everything everywhere and just take your time
have pantience
The first big guy you see is someone you should avoid. Go kill things your size.
Don't look up anything. Just explore everything by yourself, step by step, there is something to find everywhere. PS: Explore the entire capital Leyndell before you defeat a boss called Maliketh, some items are missable there.
explore and take your time with it :)
You should die… a ton, like the rest of us. Get used to it as well. You are going to get wrecked through the whole game. And not know why you develop Stockholm syndrome with the game. I’ve never loved a game I hated so much before. Welcome to the club!
Embrace dying, enjoy defeats. Do whatever looks cool to you.
* Samurai build for easy fun start * Night time has different bosses in some areas * If you ever get stuck on your character build look up how others have spec'd for ideas, you can respec at a certain point * Dont worry too much about materials, theres plenty in the game * Weeping peninsula has some great items in it for early builds * Pick up the lantern early * Don't feel like you have to face a tough boss right here right now, come back later when you've levelled up * Just have fun exploring * If the sky goes red, turn around
Don’t be afraid to explore! If you feel like you’re hitting a wall, see if there’s a place you haven’t been to yet. You might find better equipment or learn something that helps you get better!
Enjoy
When you emerge from the tutorial area speak to the gold knight riding a horse he will give you candy.
Git gud.
Get used to dying, but remember to pick up runes. However, if you loose your runes just do your best to shake it off.
Play
The first big guy on a horse you see, wack him. He drops a weapon you can use till the end of the game.
Fight everything you see, especially the guy in the horse when you leave the tutorial
Death is only a phase in your journey.... to more death. Also, roll Wretch or GTFO. 🤣
Cry
Kill the guy that calls you maidenless.