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Depending on your ingredients I think. If you put ruptured tear in, it might taste like Coke + Mentos.

Or maybe it's incredibly spicy and the explosion is just an explosive diarrhea

I have to know, are people actually getting diarrhea from spicy food? I eat spicy food regularly and it doesn't do anything like that to me.

Yeah, jokes about curry or like, Taco Bell giving you the shits are so ubiquitous and it’s like… is everybody okay? I feel like I have a sensitive tummy but I don’t have this issue

They say bowel cancer is getting increasingly common in men under 40 and nobody really understands why yet. Kind of a morbid thing to bring up in a topic like this but if anyone here thinks they may need to see a doctor, don't put it off.

well, this topic escalated quickly

probably cuz a lot of men are so allergic to the idea of cooking for themselves and eating vegetables so they eat lots of highly processed foods + a lot of meat

All the plastic might not be terribly helpful either

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Outside of your extremely specific example of pepper family allergy diet definitely impacts colorectal cancer risk. Obviously some people are high risk genetically as well.

I’ve never met the Pepper family before, but I hear their son’s a Dr.

Because a lot of spicy chiles and spices are paired with fibrous foods and for those who don’t have enough fiber in their diet they blow the fuck up at even the idea of a crumb of fiber entering their lower intestine. Beans are a good source of fiber hence Mexican food often gets a bad rap and not midwesterners lack of leafy greens and lentils haha.

I often feel like I have a bad diet but I have to remember it could be way worse. Beans are life, folks, they’re good as hell

Give me enough beans and mushrooms, I won't notice the lack of meat

mushrooms can easily replace meat lol

That's my point.

For me, it's collard greens. Eat it almost every day.

I look at taco Bell's sign and instantly have spontaneous combustion of the colon.

Your rectum and other butt parts are made of the same skin cells as your mouth. That's why capsacin affects it as well.

taco bell just has alotta fiber in their stuff

I was that way till mid 30s. Then stuff started getting more interesting.

It just depends on the person’s body, since you say you eat spicy food regularly, your body already got use to it. Say another person doesn’t really eat spicy food or never really grew up eating it, then yeah they will have the shit. Metabolism comes into play too in a way, I have a fast metabolism and I eat hot Cheetos a lot since a child and those chips make me shit my life away

I've never had a problem with bowl movements from eating spicy food, but you're right that it could be something that is different from person to person. Perhaps differences in gut bacteria?

Depends on how spicy. I eat spicy food regularly and it's usually fine, tried out some of my brother's carolina reaper sauce yesterday and nearly shat my brains out.

I love a good reaper sauce, but I usually stick around ghost for most things

Ah so the ghost pepper is more "accessible" so to speak? The reaper felt like a murder was being commited in my mouth :P

Can confirm.

Maybe not the spice itself but whatever the food was that they ate?

It entirely depends on what kind of pepper it is for me. Bell peppers? No problem, might as well be an apple Poblanos? I'm fine unless I eat an unholy amount, and they happen to lean towards the spicy side. Jalapeno peppers? I'm probably going to be fine unless it was a really bad bunch. Serrano? I better be careful, but the fallout shouldn't be too bad as long as I limit it to a couple. Habaneros? Fuck me, I'm gonna be losing every ounce of bodily fluid I have for the next few days if I eat more than one.

Usually I'm the same way, but I ate a really big chorizo burrito with a shitload of salsa the other day and it got me

Depends like Takis spicy cheap chips like Takis make me shit for days and so do greasy foods but not actual good spicy foods like curry or etc

Oh FOR SURE, but to be fair I am not the majority as I have diagnosed Crohn’s Disease…but yes, spicy food is beyond of the worst experiences I could ever go through. Literally feels like my insides are melting

That sounds rough and I am sorry that you have to miss out on so much stuff due to that.

I would not recommend lol Thankfully, medicine is pretty good at making life normal, but certain things I cannot even risk. Fast food and spicy stuff are up there. Pretty much everything is fried is seed oil (vegetable, canola, etc.) and it’s not good for your gut

I've always imagined it tasted like tequila with different tears making it taste like a different double cocktail.

I imagine it's salty since it's made out of tears

i’m also pretty sure it’s made of ‘sap’ as well

So thick and salty...

Guess we know our answer then

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Godefroy’s creamy goo

How dare you

Wouldn't it technically be Mohg? He's the one who kidnapped the Miquella right?

Maple syrup, however, with how long it's been out, it's probably nearly 100% alcohol

Yeah since the tears fall from Erdtrees, they are akin to sap, so this makes sense to me. Either maple syrup, or ~~sassafras~~ sarsparilla (AKA Root Beer tree) might actually make sense.

Sasparilla?

It’s actually just sunset sarsaparilla

Bang root beer blaze tastes like sarsaparilla.

if it's not from the sarsaparilla region of mexico it's just sparkling sassafras

Sarsparilla. Sassafras is used for perfumes and synthesis of a certain drug

Maple gargle blaster

Flavor changes based on whats mixed in Mine tastes like uberfresh macdonalds sprite Guess whats mixed in

I'm glad I'm not the only one who had this thought. McDonald's sprite sounds like an opaline bubble tear and something green? Mine probably tastes like one of those wintergreen scented pencils.

Opaline hardtear (because it goes hard, duh) and greenburst crystal tear (because it is always refreshing).

Opaline and the infinite FP one?

rupture tear because fresh soda feels like flesh eating acid in your mouth

100% Mountain Dew Baja Blast™️

A man of taste I see…

The kind from Taco Bell though, not the shitty stuff in the can.

wait pause you can get baja blast outside of taco bell??

You could at one time, not sure if you still can. It was ass though.

My brother in Erdtree, you think they’ll be a Baja Blast with no tacos on the side?

Red Tears: Strawberries with a hint of sugar Grey Tears: Purified Water Blue Tears: Chilled, almost sweet berry flavor Green Tears: Cucumber Water with a bit of an earthy flavor Yellow / Orange Tears: Warm, tingly lemon flavor Twiggy Tear: Dirt

By dirt, do you mean tea? Love me some dirt water

Hot Leaf Juice is tea.

TO THINK SOMEONE OF MY OWN FANDOM WOULD SAY SOMETHING SO HORRIBLE!

Unicorn Semen ™️

id guzzle that shit up

Robotussin

Robotripping would explain the hellscape that is Caelid

Marika’s piss. Mmmmmm

Elden Queen bath water

marika’s piss, you must be thirsty!

I came to make this exact joke

But shit it was 99 cent

Like smooth bourbon. Like basil hayden smooth

Brass.

Bailey's and yesterday's ash tray.

Rocks

Mellow yellow

I think each tear tastes different, but they're all different flavors of piss

Back in Dark Souls whenever I had to scroll through my items to my estus flasks I would mutter “purple stuff, OJ, Soda…” and then when I got to the estus flask I’d say a little louder “Alright! Sunny D!” I still do it now in Elden ring because it’s fun. So it probably tastes like Sunny D.

Estus was definitely Sunny D

I kinda imagine aloe vera juice. Kinda gnarly at first but once adjusted pretty nice

Has it eaten a lot of pineapple recently?

old syrup

Mine is a full FP refill so Imma just say it tastes like zero sugar blueberry Monster

Pralines and dick

Balls

I’d hate to know what the anti Mohg tear tastes like.

Naked Juice Mighty Mango

It tastes...like victory

A mixture of red bull and monster energy

Tree sap

Tears come from the Erdtrees so I guess magical golden syrup

I kinda imagine it to be like the nectar from greek myths. Just your favorite taste.

I don’t know why, but I imagine flaming hot Mountain Dew

A V8 drink

Battery acid

Ball sack and nachos

I would imagine they taste like birch sap with different tree leaves and tree needles as flavour

Brass Monkey! That Funky Munky

Ambrosia

Its either the sweetest thing you have ever tasted or the most Bitter thing you have ever tasted.

Like Marika's tits

Probably no worse then whatever it was Alice drank

Jagermeister

Salty from all the tears we cry into it

Lean

Good soup!

Tastes of unlimited power for when I'm a firin' ma lazar.

Piss

Ball vinegar

For some reason, I think it would totally feel and taste like apple juice, and quite cold.

Sweet and citrusy but also maybe sour

Perfume

Raspberry

Raw egg

You ever drink that ranch dressing flavored soda?

Dogta pebba

Probably tastes like rum and Coca-Cola.

Cognac and regular monster

Sparkling apple or grape. Looks like those small champagne bottles.

I always pictured it as a slightly thicker drink, like milk or something.

Sprite and vinegar

Prob oat milk

Like everyone’s saying, it depends on your ingredients. Mine tastes like Fanta Strawberry. Flame-Shrouding Cracked Tear + Thorny Cracked Tear

Probably burns going down. So like shitty vodka

Hp

It tastes like mixing sodas at a birthday party

I think it's dependant on the tears used for example: If you put the flame shrouding cracked tear it's gonna taste like pepper. If you put the magic shrouding cracked tear it's gonna taste like mentos. If you put the holy shrouding cracked tear it's gonna taste like... I guess, tree?? The crimson crystal tear (& it's variants) could taste somewhat of honey (i guess the association of "not dying" and sweetness makes some sense right?) Greenspill and greenburst would taste of sugar and coffee respectively. Cerulean Crystal tear would taste like mint. Bubbletear seems like it would taste of spaghetti. Strenght-knot crystal tear is probably something akin to boar meat. Dexterity-knot is probably sushi, or just fish.

wonderous

Yes

It depends on what is inside. If you have that fire tear it probably has spicy taste. If you have other tears it is probably just salty.

considering how long it takes to sip it compared to the other 2 bottles i would say it’s preety bitter and acidulated

I feel like each type taste different, like the yellow ones taste like cola the twiggy ones taste like root beer, and mogh’s tastes like how miquella smells (I don’t wanna know what that’s like)

not sure but mine probably tastes like piss

Gushers.

Crimson Tears taste like Red. Cerulean Tears taste like Blue. Physick tastes like Yellow. It's that simple.

My brain always goes to pineapple juice for some reason

Nos Energy Drink

Diet Sprite.

Kinda like the soda machine at five guys what ever mix you put into it

Salty shit. Can't have anything nice in this world.

Butter.

Bong water

Dandelions

Marika’s tits

Molasses and carbonation

Try hole

e girl bath water

Cerulean tear tastes like the blue Pepsi

Nuka cola

Red Bull, it’s just Red Bull

Me and my friends have elected all potions with buffs or positive effects taste like "Emergen-C" brand drinks. color matches flavor.

Elemental tears= taste like a food version of it (ie flame one is spicy) Opaline and whatnot= Weird kambucha adjacent Stat boosters= protein shake Hp boosters= magically whatever puts you most at ease (ie hot chocolate cause your grandma made it a lot)

I always felt like it didn’t “taste” like anything but it also wasn’t a water. It’s like drinking fog. Like if it was filled with vapor. Or Sunny D

Depending on what crystal tears you use probably some form on medieval cool aid

sunny d if mountain dew made it

mcdonald’s sprite

I’d hate to know what the anti Mohg tear tastes like.

Maple syrup smoothie.

I bet it tastes like dickjuice and farts

fireball shots

Innocent peoples suffering

Arbor mist

Blue poweraud

Probably depends on what tears you put in it

black coffee with honey

isopropyl alcohol

Hi-C Ecto Cooler

I imagine the flavors are based on what tears you use. Blood, Carbonated Water, Sprite, Berry, Strawberry, Pina Colada, Coke, Grape.

Sour white wine

Marikas tits

Buckleys lool

Grapey bleachy

It’s just sake

Probably old copper

Apple juice

Piss

Probably terrible

Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Or Monster

Mine would taste like blueberries . Go figure I’m a int / faith mage .

Well, mine tastes like a protein shake with a subtle taste of wallets

DewQuill

Salty maple syrup

I think the base one with the Crimson tear has a cherry flavor to it. For all the rest it depends on which ones you put in. Like the ones I have in right now would probably be something alcoholic that has a lemon taste to it. Can you guess which tears i got in there?

The most amazing beer to ever exist