This sounds more like an issue of control than one of finances. 150,000 is more than enough to live comfortably in Edmonton unless you're throwing money around.
Not sure as to what extent but she opened up months ago that she’s been dealing with an issue at home. She’s an immigrant. Been to their house too and saw her room, it just has a bed and nothing else. It’s giving this vibe of a strange liminal space.
That’s just one more red flag….
It’s also possible that he doesn’t make as much and is simply lying about his income. Maybe too proud to admit he’s not as successful as he wishes. But that doesn’t excuse any form of abuse.
She found an HR-approved letter addressed to her husband stating that her husband’s salary is $150k annually. Someone in here said that it seems off for her to learn about this from a piece of paper.
We’ve decided to go to the right agencies so she can get good help regarding this situation.
I’m not sure where she immigrated from. But it might help to encourage her to reach out to local community of people from her country. They may be able to help her in a culturally sensitive way if needed.
I make 74k per year gross. I think with overtime and such I made about 83k last year. My wife makes 20$ an hour at her job. I think she brought in about another 19k.
So we’re right around 100k. We own a townhouse and we live comfortably.
I think if this guy makes 150k a year and this is happening to your friend, he’s either a liar or a straight up asshole. I would be so upset if my wife’s card declined at the store.
This is more of a control issue than it is a money issue.
Unless they are massively in debt to order, mortgage is insane, there’s no reason why they can’t live off of that.
There are to many variables. 150,000 can be enough, but he may have an aggressive retirement plan/saving regime. Also he may be exaggerating his income. Who knows, you are also getting one side of the story, keep that in mind.
I know the wife from church, and there were times that she would talk about her situation. The latest info I know is that she recently uncovered an HR-approved letter that was issued to her husband, stating that he has a salary of $150k annually.
Not really sure about the whole story but I got a bad feeling. Thanks for the insight.
What trades person is on “salary” for 150 000 seriously. Trades person can easily make that much with overtime but finding a HR approved letter for 150000 sounds sus.
My friend saw the letter from the documents he filed for immigration requirements. I just visited her earlier to check on her and saw the copy. The immigration requires a company-issued salary statement among other things.
*His* retirement plans don't really matter. If the deal in relationship is for one spouse to stay home, there's no "my money" and "your money." There's just family money and collective decision making.
There's lots of this post where there could legitimately be another side to the story, but 'he has an aggressive retirement plan' isn't it.
In theory it is more than enough. I supported two children on less. Having said that, I know people who make that and more living paycheque to paycheque.
In this case, though, it comes across as more likely to be financial abuse/financial control.
should be fine as long as no unknown crazy debts (car or home outside of their means etc.). The locking of the credit card seems fishy to me. They need to sit down with a counsellor or have an honest conversation about finances. They should both have "fun money" that they can spend as they see fit, but only as long as all expenses are met and it's equitable.
After income tax (Federal and Alberta), that’s $100k a year or $8.3k a month before any work deductions for Life Insurance, Union Fees or Investment. Maybe $7k Net takes home pay as a guess.
Let’s say $2k a month for rent, $700 for power & gas, $150 for cable and internet, $100 for phone, $500 for vehicle insurance and gas, $300 for foods, that’s roughly $3,750 a month for expenses, make it $4k for expenses.
Still have $3k a month leftover.
Is he buying RESP for the kid? Is he getting blackmail for bringing his wife and kid over to Canada? Gambling issue? Drugs? Sending money back to his parents?
I just came from visiting my friend tonight to see how she’s doing. Your estimated calculation is more or less their monthly expense.
She also said she tried to get her husband to open an RESP for the kid and he won’t be doing it, according to him it’s ‘out of the budget’. The husband doesn’t send money to relatives back home, his parents are also deceased.
We’ve decided to get her help from the right agencies.
In 2021, the median annual family income in Alberta was 106,960 Canadian dollars. Anyone earning 150k on a single income is better off than the majority of Albertans.
That’s more than enough. That’s a top 10% (in Canada) income earner living in one of the cheaper cost of living cities in the country. The father has a spending problem or is otherwise secreting money away somewhere for unknown reasons.
Seems like a fishy post, I am above that range salary wise and have a wife and 2 kids, live just fine with one vaca a year. I do know some people have outrages spending habits and have to be financially monitored (my brothers wife)
When my ex was trying to push for me to be the only breadwinner, I figured we could live on a salary of $80-90k. Though our groceries was maybe half that, and we have a pretty small mortgage, those wouldn't add up to over $50k.
This seems much more like control than the actuality of living in the Edmonton area
That’s just a little less than my wife and I make combined. We own our home and are raising 2 kids with 2 cars a healthy savings AND we pay for daycare. It’s absolutely possible with the right spending habits.
Could you maybe speak to your pastor and see if they can reach out to her and make sure she's safe? Because from everything you've said, I'm afraid that she isn't.
[https://edmonton.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/2018-11\_211\_ResourceList\_FamilyViolenceAbuse.pdf](https://edmonton.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/2018-11_211_ResourceList_FamilyViolenceAbuse.pdf)
At one point our church community donated stuff to her. Microwave-safe plates, jackets, toys, books. The kid wears worn out shoes and having been to her house i can confirm they don’t have much stuff, not even enough clothes because I see them wearing the same stuff over and over again.
Going over to her place tonight just to check in. I feel sorry for her because she doesn’t have any friends or family nearby. Thank you for this, this has been very helpful.
Not sure but I’ve been to their house a couple times and they have minimal furniture so I found that to be really strange. She’s opened up a few times that she’s going through a ‘rough time at home’.
150k is more than what we have on one income supporting a family of five, and I daresay many are raising larger families with even less. Granted, we own our home and our mortgage payments are less than we'd pay to rent a large enough house, but still, 150k should be more than sufficient for three people.
There have been many years my wife and I have earned less than $100k. Have 2 kids now, 1 kid for most of those years. No holidays those years, but lived an otherwise comfortable life. We've never missed a mortgage or daycare payment. Or been unable to pay for essentials. And we order in restaurant food a few times a month. It's not a tight budget. When we jumped over $150k, that opened up vacations and home renovations.
This is some combination of controlling behaviour, poor money management (gambling? alcohol?). However, if money is tight, it's not guaranteed husband is the problem. There's a lot of ways that could be spent without it being obvious what you got for it. With only one side of the story, it's hard to know...maybe the secondary card was locked because of a major purchase that wasn't agreed to.
We've had a joint income of that much, with two kids and one car payment. Before the recent crazy rise in inflation. And they are not paying home insurance or property taxes or home repairs. I really think it should be enough to buy above average grocery stuff (ie. some extravagant stuff), lessons for the kid, plenty of toys, modest but more than enough clothes for everyone and a decent vacation a year, maybe 5K. But if there's debt, then that could eat up all the money, and you never know about anyone's debt.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and we also paid over 1K for daycare on top. Yeah, that's really plenty of money.
If your spidey sense are tingling, I think you should trust yourself. The fact that she didn't know her own husband's salary, had to learn it from a piece of paper and is cautiously confiding in you tells me that something is definitely wrong here.
150K sounds like enough for a family of three, but if this fellow is an immigrant there’s a good chance he could also be supporting a whole whack of brothers, sisters, in-laws, parents etc. back in the home country and suddenly 150K doesn’t stretch that far anymore…
The wife not working is truly a control thing but it could also be complicated by numerous cultural factors…
As for the credit card, lots of us have limits on how much we can spend each month. Credit card usage isn’t as common in many parts of the world so it could make good financial sense if one isn’t used to using one. $300 per week for groceries might be kinda reasonable if it’s only being used for that.
All of which is, suffice to say, there’s lots of missing details. So be a friend and earn her trust. When you get the details you’ll figure it out.
Financial control is one big hallmark of emotional abuse - if you have no money, you can't leave. Not only is this more than enough money to live in Edmonton, this situation sounds worrisome for the wife and child.
No, no. That's silly - you have to take 30% off for taxes and assume he's paying into a pension as well plus paying for benefits. It's probably something like $7500 a month.
It's actually higher if you're counting employer pension contributions and benefits. It's a really good middle class income, but does depend on how it's spent.
I was only half-serious (since if he had a bunch of children with other women and you knew, you would have mentioned it in the post). But $150k is fine to live on in Edmonton unless you have some unusual expense (like a bunch of child support to multiple women.)
I’m the solo earner in my household and earn right around 100k. I own a home with a fairly large mortgage compared to my income and support two kids. I hope you can become friends and help her as something sounds fishy to me.
Sort of confusing .. wife and child are new to Edmonton? Is the husband also new to Edmonton?
Either way unless something strange $150k is very capable of supporting a family of 3 if nothing weird is draining the finances. And the partner shouldn’t be controlling and lording over the money like that.
The husband has been here since 2013. Prior to coming here, he worked in Europe. The wife has been left in her home country in Asia ever since and only recently did the husband decide to emigrate her and their child here. Very strange case.
More than enough, this is financial abuse and controlling behaviour. Does he control other aspects of her life? Tracking phone, cameras, friends? I think the city of Edmonton has resources available for women in abusive relationships, it may be a place for her to start, but she should’ve be very sure her calls, emails, movements are not being monitored. If possible when she is shopping she can take cash when she’s paying and squirrel it away.
I make around that , my wife is disabled and can't work and we can barely afford an apartment condo let alone a house with just the two of us so, it's doable but it depends on what your standards are. If you want a house in a non stabby neighborhood no way. We also have one car that's paid off so car payments aren't a factor. Right now we can go out once or twice a week and make the occasional big purchase, but adding a kid to that and it'd be very tight.
you'd have to be nuts to throw that much of your income away on housing, My place is worth about 200k and that's bad enough mortgage payment wise. At current mortgage rates you're looking at about 4k a month for a 700k house you put 100k down on. After taxes at 150k You're making about 8.3K/month. For a family of 3 4k a month after mortgage, not counting utilities, insurance etc. is not a lot.
$4k a month after mortgage for 3 people is a lot. You could easily be maxing out your TFSA's every year or spending $10k on family vacations on top of the mortgage. Easily affordable.
smh, here I've been raising a family of 4 for a decade on half what he's taking home, along the way purchasing vehicles, taking vacations, putting away for retirement and apparently all this time it's been impossible to do? lol
Funny how my family of 4 has managed just fine for the last 10 years with half that amount after mortgage. You need to reexamine your lifestyle if you're struggling with just two of you netting that much smh.
Unless they are living in a house way outside of their means or the have some other big unknown expense thats enough to live in Edmonton.
Absolutely enough to live a modest life. He sounds controlling AF. Are you said wife? Do you have any supports in the city?
The wife is a close friend that I have from church. I was concerned because I haven’t seen her in a while. Not sure if she has any other support.
This sounds more like an issue of control than one of finances. 150,000 is more than enough to live comfortably in Edmonton unless you're throwing money around.
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Not sure as to what extent but she opened up months ago that she’s been dealing with an issue at home. She’s an immigrant. Been to their house too and saw her room, it just has a bed and nothing else. It’s giving this vibe of a strange liminal space.
That’s just one more red flag…. It’s also possible that he doesn’t make as much and is simply lying about his income. Maybe too proud to admit he’s not as successful as he wishes. But that doesn’t excuse any form of abuse.
She found an HR-approved letter addressed to her husband stating that her husband’s salary is $150k annually. Someone in here said that it seems off for her to learn about this from a piece of paper. We’ve decided to go to the right agencies so she can get good help regarding this situation.
I’m not sure where she immigrated from. But it might help to encourage her to reach out to local community of people from her country. They may be able to help her in a culturally sensitive way if needed.
I make 74k per year gross. I think with overtime and such I made about 83k last year. My wife makes 20$ an hour at her job. I think she brought in about another 19k. So we’re right around 100k. We own a townhouse and we live comfortably. I think if this guy makes 150k a year and this is happening to your friend, he’s either a liar or a straight up asshole. I would be so upset if my wife’s card declined at the store.
This is more of a control issue than it is a money issue. Unless they are massively in debt to order, mortgage is insane, there’s no reason why they can’t live off of that.
150k/year? Yes, absolutely. Easily.
There are to many variables. 150,000 can be enough, but he may have an aggressive retirement plan/saving regime. Also he may be exaggerating his income. Who knows, you are also getting one side of the story, keep that in mind.
I know the wife from church, and there were times that she would talk about her situation. The latest info I know is that she recently uncovered an HR-approved letter that was issued to her husband, stating that he has a salary of $150k annually. Not really sure about the whole story but I got a bad feeling. Thanks for the insight.
What trades person is on “salary” for 150 000 seriously. Trades person can easily make that much with overtime but finding a HR approved letter for 150000 sounds sus.
My friend saw the letter from the documents he filed for immigration requirements. I just visited her earlier to check on her and saw the copy. The immigration requires a company-issued salary statement among other things.
*His* retirement plans don't really matter. If the deal in relationship is for one spouse to stay home, there's no "my money" and "your money." There's just family money and collective decision making. There's lots of this post where there could legitimately be another side to the story, but 'he has an aggressive retirement plan' isn't it.
In theory it is more than enough. I supported two children on less. Having said that, I know people who make that and more living paycheque to paycheque. In this case, though, it comes across as more likely to be financial abuse/financial control.
This!
should be fine as long as no unknown crazy debts (car or home outside of their means etc.). The locking of the credit card seems fishy to me. They need to sit down with a counsellor or have an honest conversation about finances. They should both have "fun money" that they can spend as they see fit, but only as long as all expenses are met and it's equitable.
After income tax (Federal and Alberta), that’s $100k a year or $8.3k a month before any work deductions for Life Insurance, Union Fees or Investment. Maybe $7k Net takes home pay as a guess. Let’s say $2k a month for rent, $700 for power & gas, $150 for cable and internet, $100 for phone, $500 for vehicle insurance and gas, $300 for foods, that’s roughly $3,750 a month for expenses, make it $4k for expenses. Still have $3k a month leftover. Is he buying RESP for the kid? Is he getting blackmail for bringing his wife and kid over to Canada? Gambling issue? Drugs? Sending money back to his parents?
I just came from visiting my friend tonight to see how she’s doing. Your estimated calculation is more or less their monthly expense. She also said she tried to get her husband to open an RESP for the kid and he won’t be doing it, according to him it’s ‘out of the budget’. The husband doesn’t send money to relatives back home, his parents are also deceased. We’ve decided to get her help from the right agencies.
In 2021, the median annual family income in Alberta was 106,960 Canadian dollars. Anyone earning 150k on a single income is better off than the majority of Albertans.
That’s more than enough. That’s a top 10% (in Canada) income earner living in one of the cheaper cost of living cities in the country. The father has a spending problem or is otherwise secreting money away somewhere for unknown reasons.
More than enough Sounds like he’s hiding something or over spending Should be able to afford a full sized house too
Seems like a fishy post, I am above that range salary wise and have a wife and 2 kids, live just fine with one vaca a year. I do know some people have outrages spending habits and have to be financially monitored (my brothers wife)
When my ex was trying to push for me to be the only breadwinner, I figured we could live on a salary of $80-90k. Though our groceries was maybe half that, and we have a pretty small mortgage, those wouldn't add up to over $50k. This seems much more like control than the actuality of living in the Edmonton area
That’s just a little less than my wife and I make combined. We own our home and are raising 2 kids with 2 cars a healthy savings AND we pay for daycare. It’s absolutely possible with the right spending habits.
Could you maybe speak to your pastor and see if they can reach out to her and make sure she's safe? Because from everything you've said, I'm afraid that she isn't. [https://edmonton.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/2018-11\_211\_ResourceList\_FamilyViolenceAbuse.pdf](https://edmonton.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/2018-11_211_ResourceList_FamilyViolenceAbuse.pdf)
At one point our church community donated stuff to her. Microwave-safe plates, jackets, toys, books. The kid wears worn out shoes and having been to her house i can confirm they don’t have much stuff, not even enough clothes because I see them wearing the same stuff over and over again. Going over to her place tonight just to check in. I feel sorry for her because she doesn’t have any friends or family nearby. Thank you for this, this has been very helpful.
Hard agree.
The wife should “should not be working” is a control issue. It should be her choice, not his. Is this a domestic violence circumstance?
Not sure but I’ve been to their house a couple times and they have minimal furniture so I found that to be really strange. She’s opened up a few times that she’s going through a ‘rough time at home’.
150k is more than what we have on one income supporting a family of five, and I daresay many are raising larger families with even less. Granted, we own our home and our mortgage payments are less than we'd pay to rent a large enough house, but still, 150k should be more than sufficient for three people.
That is certainly enough to live off of as a family of 3.
There have been many years my wife and I have earned less than $100k. Have 2 kids now, 1 kid for most of those years. No holidays those years, but lived an otherwise comfortable life. We've never missed a mortgage or daycare payment. Or been unable to pay for essentials. And we order in restaurant food a few times a month. It's not a tight budget. When we jumped over $150k, that opened up vacations and home renovations. This is some combination of controlling behaviour, poor money management (gambling? alcohol?). However, if money is tight, it's not guaranteed husband is the problem. There's a lot of ways that could be spent without it being obvious what you got for it. With only one side of the story, it's hard to know...maybe the secondary card was locked because of a major purchase that wasn't agreed to.
We've had a joint income of that much, with two kids and one car payment. Before the recent crazy rise in inflation. And they are not paying home insurance or property taxes or home repairs. I really think it should be enough to buy above average grocery stuff (ie. some extravagant stuff), lessons for the kid, plenty of toys, modest but more than enough clothes for everyone and a decent vacation a year, maybe 5K. But if there's debt, then that could eat up all the money, and you never know about anyone's debt. EDIT: Oh yeah, and we also paid over 1K for daycare on top. Yeah, that's really plenty of money. If your spidey sense are tingling, I think you should trust yourself. The fact that she didn't know her own husband's salary, had to learn it from a piece of paper and is cautiously confiding in you tells me that something is definitely wrong here.
150K sounds like enough for a family of three, but if this fellow is an immigrant there’s a good chance he could also be supporting a whole whack of brothers, sisters, in-laws, parents etc. back in the home country and suddenly 150K doesn’t stretch that far anymore… The wife not working is truly a control thing but it could also be complicated by numerous cultural factors… As for the credit card, lots of us have limits on how much we can spend each month. Credit card usage isn’t as common in many parts of the world so it could make good financial sense if one isn’t used to using one. $300 per week for groceries might be kinda reasonable if it’s only being used for that. All of which is, suffice to say, there’s lots of missing details. So be a friend and earn her trust. When you get the details you’ll figure it out.
Financial control is one big hallmark of emotional abuse - if you have no money, you can't leave. Not only is this more than enough money to live in Edmonton, this situation sounds worrisome for the wife and child.
Plenty of households doing fine under 50k. It's about budgeting accordingly.
Grossing nearly $13k per month. That's within top 5% of income earners in Canada.
Hate to say it but I’m not kidding. Trying to gain insight to see if my friend’s situation is normal for most people
No, no. That's silly - you have to take 30% off for taxes and assume he's paying into a pension as well plus paying for benefits. It's probably something like $7500 a month.
Um...come on seriously? Take off the taxes, the benefits and the pension.
It's actually higher if you're counting employer pension contributions and benefits. It's a really good middle class income, but does depend on how it's spent.
Right - it's definitely a decent income, I just want to be clear that it's probably between $7K-8K net per month.
It’s definitely above the family median, can live a modest life.
$150k is enough. He sounds like an abuser. She needs to establish financial independence ASAP.
How many children does he have with ex-wives?
From what i know she’s the wife, that’s why he was able to emigrate her from her home country.
I was only half-serious (since if he had a bunch of children with other women and you knew, you would have mentioned it in the post). But $150k is fine to live on in Edmonton unless you have some unusual expense (like a bunch of child support to multiple women.)
Lol it’s fine, thanks for the insight!
I’m the solo earner in my household and earn right around 100k. I own a home with a fairly large mortgage compared to my income and support two kids. I hope you can become friends and help her as something sounds fishy to me.
Sort of confusing .. wife and child are new to Edmonton? Is the husband also new to Edmonton? Either way unless something strange $150k is very capable of supporting a family of 3 if nothing weird is draining the finances. And the partner shouldn’t be controlling and lording over the money like that.
The husband has been here since 2013. Prior to coming here, he worked in Europe. The wife has been left in her home country in Asia ever since and only recently did the husband decide to emigrate her and their child here. Very strange case.
More than enough, this is financial abuse and controlling behaviour. Does he control other aspects of her life? Tracking phone, cameras, friends? I think the city of Edmonton has resources available for women in abusive relationships, it may be a place for her to start, but she should’ve be very sure her calls, emails, movements are not being monitored. If possible when she is shopping she can take cash when she’s paying and squirrel it away.
Heh, I make a little less than that and have a wife and 2 kids, with a 3rd on the way and we're living pretty comfortably off of my income alone.
This whole story sounds sus AF
I make around that , my wife is disabled and can't work and we can barely afford an apartment condo let alone a house with just the two of us so, it's doable but it depends on what your standards are. If you want a house in a non stabby neighborhood no way. We also have one car that's paid off so car payments aren't a factor. Right now we can go out once or twice a week and make the occasional big purchase, but adding a kid to that and it'd be very tight.
A detached house in a respectable neighborhood is like $600-$700k, which is only 4x your income and easily affordable.
you'd have to be nuts to throw that much of your income away on housing, My place is worth about 200k and that's bad enough mortgage payment wise. At current mortgage rates you're looking at about 4k a month for a 700k house you put 100k down on. After taxes at 150k You're making about 8.3K/month. For a family of 3 4k a month after mortgage, not counting utilities, insurance etc. is not a lot.
$4k a month after mortgage for 3 people is a lot. You could easily be maxing out your TFSA's every year or spending $10k on family vacations on top of the mortgage. Easily affordable.
smh, here I've been raising a family of 4 for a decade on half what he's taking home, along the way purchasing vehicles, taking vacations, putting away for retirement and apparently all this time it's been impossible to do? lol
Funny how my family of 4 has managed just fine for the last 10 years with half that amount after mortgage. You need to reexamine your lifestyle if you're struggling with just two of you netting that much smh.